Pressure to NOT cut hair?

[Eryka]

Hey guys, just something I've been pondering.

Lately I've been really bored with my hair and want to experiment. My hair is knee length and has been that way for over 3 years. Suffice it to say I've had very long hair all of my life. Lately I've been wanting to get face framing bangs/light layers around my face. Due to my job I need to keep my hair up so I want some interest and sex appeal with my hair.

The thing is, when I mention that to people, they freak a lot of the times. Saying my hair is perfect, don't touch it, "it's a phase" (that one irks me, I don't know anyone who's had long hair as long as I have.) Ect ect ect.

So yeah, thoughts?

(Not to mention I'm terrified of letting someone touch my hair. I totally distrust stylists.)

[Madora]

Personally speaking, I don't understand the reason for cutting layers since you need to wear your hair up for work. Won't those layers have to be pinned back also?

Is there any way you can arrange your hair differently (if you're looking for a different "look"?)

Beautiful hair like yours is a true rarity and it would be a pity if you did get layers..but your hair was ruined in the process by a scissor happy stylist!

But, it is more impotant for YOU to be happy with what you want, so more power to you. I'd LOVE to have hair as long and healthy as yours is!

[BlondieHepburn]

Firstly, your hair is gorgeous!
However, hair is marvelous in the way that it grows back. Change is very refreshing sometimes. Think about what style you like, give yourself two weeks to mull it over, and if you still like the idea, go for it! It's your head of hair and you should love it. You can still have gorgeous, enviably long hair at hip-length with layers! What is the point of having long hair if you can't even play with it? :flower:

[turtlelover]

It is YOUR hair. You should do what YOU want to do with it. If you want to grow it to your ankles, great. If you want to cut it, there is nothing wrong with that. When hair becomes a source of pressure in your life, and you are made to feel guilty for cutting or growing your hair, that is wrong.

[spidermom]

I think some face-framing fringe might be exactly the change you need. Keep it light. When I had face-framing fringe a few years ago, I separated out the hair that I was willing to have cut and braided the rest back. Then I cut it myself, and the next time I saw my stylist I asked her to even things out, but she said it was pretty even already. (yay me!)

I got tired of pinning it back when I was working in the yard after about 18 months and grew it out. No big deal.

[Theobroma]

So yeah, thoughts?

Only that if you do go ahead and cut bangs or something similar, and you end up not liking them (for whatever reason) once you have them, growing them back out to match the rest of your length is going to take forever -- so whatever you do, think about it very carefully first!

[Moonlake]

**********

[jacqueline101]

A change is always good bangs and layers might be what you need. You might try to find a new up do too that could help.

[Celtic Morla]

I had long hair as a kid and was forbideen to cut it I asked my mum for bangs once and she wouldnt do it(turns out years later she had no clue how to do them) so when I was 13 I chopped my hair off in rebellion. I regretted it. I would suggest pulling a few pieces out above the temples and trim them shorter and see how you like it also try separating about 1 inch at the front when you put up th erest of your hair and experiment in creating a side sweep across the forehead or braids that hang down by the temples before sweeping them back and see how you like it all.

[luxepiggy]

This is why I never mention changes to people IRL. I just think about it, discuss with forum buddies, make my decision, and continue to go about my business like nothing ever happened. To date, not a single person has noticed that I've been dyeing my hair blue-black since June (^(oo)^)v

ETA - I had all-one-length long hair for most of my life (20 years), until I cut myself some face framing wispies last year. I love mine! One thing you can do is put your hair in a few of your favourite updos, while leaving out the front sections that you're thinking of cutting into layers. That should give you a general idea of how the end result will look.

[lapushka]

With your length, and considering the time you've had that length, it's no wonder that people freak out when you suddenly talk about cutting your hair. I can definitely understand, but... it's *your* hair!

I'd think about it for a few weeks, at least, before you decide one way or the other.

[newbeginning]

Your hair is amazing! Give yourself some time to figure out what you want done exactly and if you still want it done after say 2 weeks do it!

[HappyHair87]

Your hair is at knee! And from the looks of your avi, giiiiiirl your hair is AMAZING! It looks like a waterfall! I say go ahead and do some face framing...it will grow back...i mean...it does grow to your knees after all!:laugh:

[ericthegreat]

Hey guys, just something I've been pondering.

Lately I've been really bored with my hair and want to experiment. My hair is knee length and has been that way for over 3 years. Suffice it to say I've had very long hair all of my life. Lately I've been wanting to get face framing bangs/light layers around my face. Due to my job I need to keep my hair up so I want some interest and sex appeal with my hair.

The thing is, when I mention that to people, they freak a lot of the times. Saying my hair is perfect, don't touch it, "it's a phase" (that one irks me, I don't know anyone who's had long hair as long as I have.) Ect ect ect.

So yeah, thoughts?

(Not to mention I'm terrified of letting someone touch my hair. I totally distrust stylists.)


Well this is a welcome surprise. Usually, we see a thread that will be about the exact opposite, where the OP is being pressured to or in many cases has already had their hair cut short or much shorter. The reasons are always because the people around them didn't accept them with such long hair, and those people constantly nagged them over and over again until finally the OP gives in and cuts his or her hair short to get them to stop bothering him or her.

To be honest Eryka, since I'm a guy, I would personally LOVE to have your problem right now. I wish the people around me would urge me to NOT cut my hair short!

You have lovely, thick and healthy knee length hair. Its perfect just the way it is, why cut it? Unless of course you really want to go shorter/get some face-framing layers, and if you want my honest opinion in your case I'd say no actually. You just don't see healthy, thick knee length hair on anyone male or female at all these days, so your hair is a rare beauty to behold!

[jeanniet]

Your hair is beautiful, but it is your hair, so if face-framing layers are what you want, do it. Look at it this way--what's the worst that could happen? You don't like them and have to grow them out again. It will take a while, that's true, but if they can be pulled back you won't notice them that much. I think some nice wisps around your face could make a big difference and look very elegant for work.

[luxepiggy]

I wish the people around me would urge me to NOT cut my hair short!

Don't cut your hair short!!! Don't do it! I object! Strenuously! http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff33/shoppingpiglet/piggies/bb11.gif

No seriously, I think I would be mildly traumatized if you cut your hair. So please don't. You don't want to be responsible for my mental trauma, do you? :D

[leslissocool]

This might sound funny, but how about fake bangs?

Here (http://www.voguewigs.com/bangs-hairdo-clip-in-hair-extensions.html) are some that could actually work, my sister got them she liked them.

I say wear fake bangs for about 2 weeks. If you don't like them, no big deal. If you do, go for it! I like how they come with a bit of face framing on the edges, it could be really cute with updo's.

Just an idea. I am actually thinking of getting them, I am dressing up as an Anime character for Halloween and want bangs, but I don't want to cut them in my hair.

[2peasinapod]

I understand. I'm kind of going through the same thing. My hair is only at MBL right now, but it's sooo heavy. I'm going to grow it to waist, but honestly I don't know how long I'll keep it there.

When I first started growing my hair, I got all sorts of comments (usually from my family) discouraging me, telling me it looked messy and I was doing it wrong. Now that I mentioned I might cut it eventually (no shorter than BSL or so, mind), I get the same comments, but the other way. Don't cut your hair, it looks so nice long, etc.

When I mention it physically hurts my neck sometimes, well, I must be doing it wrong. Put some serum in it, blowdry it, and it will be lighter. This is coming from people with i/ii F/M hair. My hair is between 4 and 4 1/4 inches circumference (layers). They don't make a serum for that. What works for you isn't going to work for me - not because I'm doing it wrong but because my hair is thicker and heavier than yours.

I think some people just like to be contrary sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the compliments, and I have to admit my hair looks great in the pictures, but sometimes I want it to do more. It will grow back. If you've grown your hair to knee length (!), I think it's safe to assume you know what you like and don't like about all the other stages. Besides, it grows back. The good thing about hair is that it grows back, so feel free to experiment. If you are apprehensive, maybe cut a little less off than you think you want and go from there.

Whatever you decide, I hope it makes you happy. After all, you are not here to decorate anyone's world. :)

[|Xei]

I second the faux-fringe. You might find that you don't like having a fringe after all, but all you'll be losing is perhaps $15, and not 8+ years of growth.

[Mesmerise]

I will go along with those that say it's a good idea!

Honestly, a few wispy face framing layers, and maybe a wispy fringe can make a world of different to your look, AND because they're fine and wispy, they're not too hellish to grow out if you don't like them!!

I can imagine that if I'd had knee length hair for 3+ years, I'd also be bored. I can't help it. I've been "growing" my hair all my life... getting sick of it, chopping and growing again :rolleyes:. But part of the thing there is that I DO get bored which is why I've always got some plan for my hair.

I think the best thing you can do is make a small change that won't be difficult to grow out. To me that's much less drastic than chopping it to a shorter length! I definitely do not think you should do THAT because your hair is gorgeous!

[noelgirl]

This might sound funny, but how about fake bangs?

Here (http://www.voguewigs.com/bangs-hairdo-clip-in-hair-extensions.html) are some that could actually work, my sister got them she liked them.

I say wear fake bangs for about 2 weeks. If you don't like them, no big deal. If you do, go for it! I like how they come with a bit of face framing on the edges, it could be really cute with updo's.

Just an idea. I am actually thinking of getting them, I am dressing up as an Anime character for Halloween and want bangs, but I don't want to cut them in my hair.

Fake bangs are great! I got some last Halloween to dress up as Dr. Julia from Horrible Bosses (pics of me in costume are in my profile):

http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/0/L/q/X/horrible-bosses-jennifer-aniston.jpg

(gotta say, it was a challenge to find a pic where she's not in some state of undress! That's why my costume shots are headshots!)

On topic, I do get "don't cut" from my roommate sometimes. She says I'd lose my magical powers if I cut my hair! To the OP: think it over, two-week rule and all, but if it's a subtle face-framing, I would bet that the same people who are telling you not to do it wouldn't necessarily notice right away if you did! So do what you want to do.

[Eryka]

Hey guys thanks for the opinions.

I've been thinking of doing something for many month. I don't want to change the length aside from maybe a much needed trim. Mainly I just want different texture. I see curled and wavy hair and I want it too. Problem is, I'm a spaz at styling. Hell, I can't even french braid. I refuse to use heat and am fearful of tangles. Generally that means I do the same few things to my hair day in and day out. It's healthy sure, but bores me to tears.

For the wispy bangs/face layers, I really like the idea. I've seen a lot I like, but I just don't trust anyone to do it, including myself. I'll look into the faux bangs and see what's up. I don't want to take away from my bulk, just something playful around my face.

[Eryka]

Hey guys thanks for the opinions.

I've been thinking of doing something for many month. I don't want to change the length aside from maybe a much needed trim. Mainly I just want different texture. I see curled and wavy hair and I want it too. Problem is, I'm a spaz at styling. Hell, I can't even french braid. I refuse to use heat and am fearful of tangles. Generally that means I do the same few things to my hair day in and day out. It's healthy sure, but bores me to tears.

For the wispy bangs/face layers, I really like the idea. I've seen a lot I like, but I just don't trust anyone to do it, including myself. I'll look into the faux bangs and see what's up. I don't want to take away from my bulk, just something playful around my face.

[lacefrost]

Maybe pincurl/bantu knot your hair. You already know how to make a bun. Separate your hair into sections and bun each individual section while your hair is damp. When it's dry, it'll form waves or curls.

A lot of people on here have had luck with the Caruso steam rollers. You could try those out too.

[Susana]

hmmm, if you want layers get them or you may just end up cutting it all off in a fit of excitment one day. Been there. Done that.

[Tuna]

I get same reactions from people when i mentione them cutting, coloring or anything... it's discouraging. I will let my har a little longer, and then i will decide what to do. I think about dying my dark brown hair blonde... and cutting 30cm off. I shall see...but i got bored.

I think that you should take a risk and try new things if you feel like it... that's what life is about. Changing, trying new things.
If you want bangs, go for it! Change isn't bad. And if you won't like it... well, hair will grow back.
If you want to try something new... don't let other people tell you not to. Go for it!

[KwaveT]

Well this is a welcome surprise. Usually, we see a thread that will be about the exact opposite, where the OP is being pressured to or in many cases has already had their hair cut short or much shorter. The reasons are always because the people around them didn't accept them with such long hair, and those people constantly nagged them over and over again until finally the OP gives in and cuts his or her hair short to get them to stop bothering him or her.

To be honest Eryka, since I'm a guy, I would personally LOVE to have your problem right now. I wish the people around me would urge me to NOT cut my hair short!

You have lovely, thick and healthy knee length hair. Its perfect just the way it is, why cut it? Unless of course you really want to go shorter/get some face-framing layers, and if you want my honest opinion in your case I'd say no actually. You just don't see healthy, thick knee length hair on anyone male or female at all these days, so your hair is a rare beauty to behold!

Agreed, I wish people would encourage me to grow my hair and not cut it short. I am having this problem at shoulder length.

[Gingerbear]

For me, part of the fun is having a goal to work towards. If you are bored with your hair at knee length and want a change, cut it to tailbone or classic length. It will still look fabulous and, if you decide to grow it to knee length again, you have a new project on your hands. :)

You could also experiment with the color if you just want a change. I realize you probably don't want to use dyes or bleach since your hair is so long and healthy, but you could do something temporary and just on the surface like hair chalking. Putting in some pastel streaks on the tips or showing in your braid would be pretty heading into spring.

Just remember it is your hair and totally up to you--so ignore what everyone else says if it doesn't feel right to you. Whatever you decide, you are always lovely!