I seriously hate my hair.

[Orangerthanred]

One of my acquaintances has amazing hair.

She has everything I can't have. Long, straight and thin hair with blunt bangs.

My hair just isn't growing. I have side bangs that are about a cm past chin length, and they've been that length for like 5 months! The rest of the hair in the front is cut a bit angled so it's shorter than the back, and it isn't growing either. The very back of my hair is nearly BSL, but I have to trim it alot so it doesn't look like a mullet.

Heat free straightening techniques take 8 hours to dry on my hair. They also make my hair very poofy. My hair is already unbearably thick and poofy, I don't need more poofiness.

Oh and the bangs. I have a round face shape. Not chubby. In fact, I wish I could gain weight in my face. Let's not forget I have a rather short forehead. Both of these things= no bangs unless they are side bangs. Well, I hate side bangs and side bangs hate me. They look terrible on me and I wish I could just get rid of them. When I pin my bangs back I look so strange even my friends hint that it isn't a good hairstyle on me, so I guess I should leave them hanging in my face.

Rant over.

[jacqueline101]

I know we all have hair envy as you're hating your hair she's probably hating hers.

[Hairizona]

You said you have to trim the back of your hair alot, so your hair must be growing?!

[joflakes]

Do you have any photos so we can compare? It may be that it is growing and you don't realise.
If the side bangs don't suit you, why not consider a full fringe? Show us, it can't be as bad as you think :)

[Orangerthanred]

You said you have to trim the back of your hair alot, so your hair must be growing?!

Only the back. Not the front. Like I said, mullet.

[Orangerthanred]

Do you have any photos so we can compare? It may be that it is growing and you don't realise.
If the side bangs don't suit you, why not consider a full fringe? Show us, it can't be as bad as you think :)

I don't even have a camera, let alone any pictures.

And if I got blunt bangs, it could be another huge disaster. When I first got side bangs I really wanted them, then they turned out terrible and I am stuck with them. Same thing could happen with blunt bangs.

[Anywhere]

As someone with [mostly temporarily, from illness] thin hair, it always amazes me that people actually want thin hair.

And I'd be glad to exchange my high hairline for your lower one. I look like I'm balding if I don't have bangs. :rolleyes:

You might just be having a growth stall, or you just don't notice it growing.


If you have money to spare, you could purchase clip-on bangs and see if you like the look on you.


As for the heat free straightening, do you do them with soaking wet hair or almost dry hair? it makes a huge difference in drying time, and you really don't need much moisture at all to get the hair to dry differently.


I understand the hair hate though. You know what they say though, a watched pot never boils. try not to think/stress about the growth.

[Orangerthanred]

As someone with [mostly temporarily, from illness] thin hair, it always amazes me that people actually want thin hair.

And I'd be glad to exchange my high hairline for your lower one. I look like I'm balding if I don't have bangs. :rolleyes:

You might just be having a growth stall, or you just don't notice it growing.


If you have money to spare, you could purchase clip-on bangs and see if you like the look on you.


As for the heat free straightening, do you do them with soaking wet hair or almost dry hair? it makes a huge difference in drying time, and you really don't need much moisture at all to get the hair to dry differently.


I understand the hair hate though. You know what they say though, a watched pot never boils. try not to think/stress about the growth.

I guess thinner hair has it's downsides too, but I still strongly prefer thinner hair. It would be much easier for me to manage, and much better for my face shape (my thick poofball makes my face look even wider).

Lol, I'm so obsessed with hair growth I got one of those feather extensions to see how far it goes down my hair in a month. It didn't even move in two months.

Whenever I straighten my hair it's usually just a little bit damp. Maybe my hair just hates rollers...

[Long_hair_bear]

The grass is always greener on the other side. I have average hair thickness, but it leans towards thin. I'd give a lot to have thicker hair.

[Anywhere]

I guess thinner hair has it's downsides too, but I still strongly prefer thinner hair. It would be much easier for me to manage, and much better for my face shape (my thick poofball makes my face look even wider).

Lol, I'm so obsessed with hair growth I got one of those feather extensions to see how far it goes down my hair in a month. It didn't even move in two months.

Whenever I straighten my hair it's usually just a little bit damp. Maybe my hair just hates rollers...



You could always try going to a stylist and asking them to thin your hair. I'm not sure how it works (I obviously have never had my thin hair thinned) but one of my friends gets it done and it looks significantly thinner. You could always look into that some. :shrug:


How do the feather extensions work? Do you have to take it out/put it in every day? If it's attached to some hair then it will move down with the hair growth so it is always at the same distance from the bottom of the hair.

[Georgies]

have you tried embracing your texture? Thick, wavy hair is usually the subject of much hair envy - if you feed it things it likes it might reward you for it and grow!

[joflakes]

I don't even have a camera, let alone any pictures.

And if I got blunt bangs, it could be another huge disaster. When I first got side bangs I really wanted them, then they turned out terrible and I am stuck with them. Same thing could happen with blunt bangs.

Ah, nevermind.
Why not try a clip in bangs thing? That way you could try it out.
Failing that try not to stress about it, leave it for a few months and then look at it again. It might not seem as bad if you're not focusing on it as much.

[Orangerthanred]

You could always try going to a stylist and asking them to thin your hair. I'm not sure how it works (I obviously have never had my thin hair thinned) but one of my friends gets it done and it looks significantly thinner. You could always look into that some. :shrug:


How do the feather extensions work? Do you have to take it out/put it in every day? If it's attached to some hair then it will move down with the hair growth so it is always at the same distance from the bottom of the hair.

Thinning shears are puure evil, they make my hair into a cottonball.

The feather extension is braided into my hair

[Kelikea]

If your bangs are past chin length, they aren't really bangs anymore and should blend in with the rest of your hair. You can do a side part and tuck them behind one ear, a center part, or comb them back. They should fit into a pony tail, clip or headband. I agree with embracing your natural texture, its much easier to deal with than fighting it everyday. You should probably also hold off on trimming the back of your hair. It is only a mullet when the sides are short, like ear length, and the back is long. Yours is way past that. A lot of people have hair that grows more slowly on the sides, that is why you see many V hemlines with fairy tale ends. Just relax and try not to over think it.

[Orangerthanred]

have you tried embracing your texture? Thick, wavy hair is usually the subject of much hair envy - if you feed it things it likes it might reward you for it and grow!
You have no clue what my hair is like. It is not simply thick it is HUGE. Think of 80s hair times 5. And it inflates like a freaking balloon if you comb, layer or thin it. And the wave pattern is not all smooth and pretty like what comes to mind when you think of waves. It grows in weird lumps outwardly instead of down. Worst of all it doesn't flatter my face or personality.
Anyway...
I have many months/years to wait till I can even try embrace it. Half of my hair is chemically straightened.

[ladyshep]

I'm sorry you hate your hair. :( No fun whatsoever.

Is your hair damaged by the chemicals?
What products (shampoo conditioners ect..) do you use?

From what you explained, it sounds like you need to get redken real control shampoo, cond. and possibly the leave-in-cream. It brings down the volume of your hair and smooths it. If it doesn't work, take it back to the salon for a refund.

[nala89]

Your hair sounds a bit like mine a few years ago...
Before I started growing my hair I always tried to get it straighter because I absolutley love straight hair! But after a while it didn't work anymore so my hair got straighter but also very poofy! I hated it! Today I know that my hair looked incredibly poofy because it was soo dry! Now I am doing CO instead of using shampoo and also I stopped doing anything to straighten them and they don't look poofy anymore.
My point is: maybe you should try to appreciate your hairtype more and try to use more moisturizing products because then your hair will look better and it will be easier to accept that you don't have all those things that other people have with their hair.

[spidermom]

Straightening damp hair sounds like a very bad idea.

I get it, though. My hair also gets wider before it gets long. I had to get quite a lot of heat-styling damage cut off when my length was between BSL and waist.

[jeanniet]

If you've been doing chemical treatments to your hair, a lot of the poofiness and apparent lack of growth may simply be due to damage. I agree with getting more moisture into your hair and trying to appreciate it for what it is. Thick, wavy hair can be a real challenge, but if you learn to work with it instead of against it you'll find that it's less of a struggle.

We might be able to help more if you told us what products you're using, what your routine is, how much of your hair is likely to be damaged, etc. Your hair sounds similar to mine, and the first thing I would do is trim until the chemical damage is gone. You may be surprised to see how much that improves things.

[celebriangel]

Oh man, I would kill for your thickness.

I have 2c hair that used to be very poofy, until I discovered that it needed TONS of moisture. When given that moisture (using a CO routine and oiling), instead of frizzing and poofing, it coils into waves and spirals. Happy, shiny waves and spirals.

Realise that thick =/= poofy. You want your hair to be *sleeker*, not thinner, and that is totally achievable. Damp bunning helps loads too - I let it down periodically to dry.

DO you have old damage in your ends that might be preventing your hair from growing?

[ScarlettAdelle]

I totally understand what you mean. My best friend (leslissocool) has the most gorgeous waves naturally, the kind that take me hours and tons of effort to achieve, and for her it's as simple as getting out of the shower. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at her hair and thought "see, hair? See what hers is doing? We wouldn't fight so much if you'd just do that. See? It's easy. Hers does it every day. It's not difficult. Just do that, and we can be friends again." But it never listens to me.

The flip side:
Where hers is mellow at the scalp and softly waves around her face, she wishes hers would have volume at the top like mine has when it's allowed to do as it pleases. She says she hates her "triangle head" which I would kill for because it's the polar oposite of my ridiculous frizz.

We've discussed this and we've both come to the conclusion that the other is completely and utterly mad.

Hair envy is totally normal, and common. There are probably things about hers that she can't stand, and wishes would mimic yours. Unfortunately, science has not figured out how to tweak these things for us yet, so we have to do what we can to make the best of what we've got.

[lolot]

i dont want to be disrespectful but i honestly dislike when someone is hating other for a thing they want, and you cant see that you probably have pretty hair because you are focussed on another person.
i think we have to know ourselves and pull the best out of it instead of copying the style of another person that doesnt suit us
so start making and embracing your own style

[mzBANGBANG]

As a straight-hair, I'm totally envious of anyone 2a and up. Like another commenter said, grass is always greener.

[turtlelover]

I would consider the curly girl method if your hair has that much of a frizz problem. Might be worth a long trial period at the very least.

[Shahada]

I have thick hair and I've grown to love it. As it's grown, it has become favorable to have thicker hair as it doesn't drag down my appearance. Layers always give some relief to thicker hair and there are always tricks while hair is growing. My advice is always to keep your hair up the majority of the time to protect the ends and to minimize heat processing. I just flat ironed my hair after 7 months of wearing it curly or just blow drying with roller setting. My hair has gone from bsl to about waist in 6 months and I can finally 'exhale'. I love my hair!

[Orangerthanred]

I'm sorry you hate your hair. :( No fun whatsoever.

Is your hair damaged by the chemicals?
What products (shampoo conditioners ect..) do you use?

From what you explained, it sounds like you need to get redken real control shampoo, cond. and possibly the leave-in-cream. It brings down the volume of your hair and smooths it. If it doesn't work, take it back to the salon for a refund.

The lower half of my hair is in pretty good condition, considering it was relaxed twice. It's really prone to split ends though. I use Aubrey organics honeysuckle rose conditioner on the length of my hair and shampoo the roots with Suave Naturals x2 a week. I don't use any leave ins because I don't have enough money to spend on extra stuff at the moment.

[Orangerthanred]

Your hair sounds a bit like mine a few years ago...
Before I started growing my hair I always tried to get it straighter because I absolutley love straight hair! But after a while it didn't work anymore so my hair got straighter but also very poofy! I hated it! Today I know that my hair looked incredibly poofy because it was soo dry! Now I am doing CO instead of using shampoo and also I stopped doing anything to straighten them and they don't look poofy anymore.
My point is: maybe you should try to appreciate your hairtype more and try to use more moisturizing products because then your hair will look better and it will be easier to accept that you don't have all those things that other people have with their hair.

I don't straighten my hair with an iron, I use big rollers when my hair is damp or I wrap it around my head. The poofiness in my hair is natural, it's been here for years and it was part of the reason I relaxed it. My hair doesn't really need a lot of more moisture, my conditioner is really thick and has coconut oil in it... It's not dry, it's just screwed up.

[LuciousLox]

She has everything I can't have. Long, straight and thin hair with blunt bangs.

Reminds me of a girl I worked with. So pretty! Best hair. The bangs give it that youthful/cute look.

[Orangerthanred]

Oh man, I would kill for your thickness.

I have 2c hair that used to be very poofy, until I discovered that it needed TONS of moisture. When given that moisture (using a CO routine and oiling), instead of frizzing and poofing, it coils into waves and spirals. Happy, shiny waves and spirals.

Realise that thick =/= poofy. You want your hair to be *sleeker*, not thinner, and that is totally achievable. Damp bunning helps loads too - I let it down periodically to dry.

DO you have old damage in your ends that might be preventing your hair from growing?

Sleek usually= cones or straightener, really. I do not use silicone on my hair or heat, and I do not have the extra money to buy tons of oils and products to see which makes my hair lay down flat. I have to buy my own clothes, hair stuff, etc now that I have a job so my amount of money is SUPER limited.

I don't have any split ends that I can find. I S&D a lot, try to keep my hair in good shape. I will admit that the ends are kind of straw like but I've bought so many moisturizing treatments, products, oils, and things before that this is as good as they're going to get..

[Orangerthanred]

I would consider the curly girl method if your hair has that much of a frizz problem. Might be worth a long trial period at the very least.

I've done that before. The bottom half of my hair gets really crumply looking and the top never dries.

[Kelikea]

If your ends are dry, just use your conditioner as a leave-in on the ends. Your hair is going to be fuller than you'd probably like for a while, since it is still SL. As it grows, the weight will pull it down.

[Orangerthanred]

Reminds me of a girl I worked with. So pretty! Best hair. The bangs give it that youthful/cute look.

It always make me think of Pattie Boyd. :X And I'm obsessed with her look in the 60s.

[Anywhere]

Sleek usually= cones or straightener, really. I do not use silicone on my hair or heat, and I do not have the extra money to buy tons of oils and products to see which makes my hair lay down flat. I have to buy my own clothes, hair stuff, etc now that I have a job so my amount of money is SUPER limited.

I don't have any split ends that I can find. I S&D a lot, try to keep my hair in good shape. I will admit that the ends are kind of straw like but I've bought so many moisturizing treatments, products, oils, and things before that this is as good as they're going to get..

Your frequent S&Ding on damaged, relaxed ends that are more prone to breakage might be why you aren't experiencing much growth. Keep snipping away all the damage, strand by strand, and eventually not much growth will be left.

[sycamoreboutiqu]

I can relate exactly. When my hair was shoulder length I felt like Rosanne Rosanna Danna, total triangle poof head. I hated my hair then. I used to have smoother, thinner hair when I was younger - for some reason the last 20 years (and I am in my late 50's) it has gotten thicker, and MUCH wavier. Very strange.
Joining the LHC and following the advice here has made all the difference in how my hair looks and feels. It is like a different head of hair.
It is still thick and tends toward frizziness - but using the Curly Girl methods have made an enormous difference.
Mainly - CO washing, no brushing (wide tooth comb when saturated with conditioner),Coconut and other oils, no heat styling and no blow dryer except for rare occasions. Keeping my hair up or braided nearly all the time - containing it for sleep and using a silk pillowcase.
Take a look at my "before" pic in my progress album. This was when I was just starting to let it grow - but was still blow drying and shampooing and brushing ... oh the horror.
Lately my hair is feeling so much smoother, sleeker and has what I describe as "flow". When I move it around now it flows instead of moves as a big bush.
I am sure if you start practicing some of these techniques (which do not require spending money - it actually means spending less) you will start seeing improvements.
If you haven't tried clairfying or chelating, try that. It is as simple as adding a teaspoon of baking soda to conditioner or shampoo. I blend it in conditioner, apply, wait one minute and rinse it out. Condition heavily afterward and it feels fanatstic.

As for the bangs - why not just cut a few wispy bangs. I also feel like I need bangs but heavy ones just look bad so I just maintain a really light layer in front that I can brush back or fluff up a bit if needed.
Oh - and check to see if your shampoo/conditioner has added protein. I found I absolutely hated my hair when I had used protein enhanced products. My hair needed more moisture, and no protein to feel the best.

[MonaLisa]

Could be that it grows slower at winter also..
Don't stress about it and don't be a perfectionist :)
Just give it some time.

[virgo75]

If your ends are dry, just use your conditioner as a leave-in on the ends. Your hair is going to be fuller than you'd probably like for a while, since it is still SL. As it grows, the weight will pull it down.

2nd the bolded.

I have naturally "poofy" hair as well and I look like I have a swirl of black cotton candy on my head if I don't use a leave-in of some sort to tame it down. :lol:

Since your hair is thick, try separating it into some sections while still damp after washing and apply a dime to a quarter size of conditioner to each section. Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner is pretty thick so you may want to rub it between your hands and/or add a tiny bit of water to your hands to make it creamier and easy to spread. After applying the conditioner you can comb it through and braid each section. Let them dry like this and you'll have lovely braid waves which will be sleeker than the poof you might normally have. Also, after taking your hair down DON'T BRUSH IT!!! This will make your hair poof up again. lol Just use your fingers to separate it and braid it back up at night before bed.

I used to hate my hair when I was younger too. I think everybody has to go through that stage. :shrug:

It helps to find pics of hair that is similar to yours that you find pretty so you can learn to appreciate your own hair for what it is instead of hating it for what it isn't. :flower:

[ladyshep]

The lower half of my hair is in pretty good condition, considering it was relaxed twice. It's really prone to split ends though. I use Aubrey organics honeysuckle rose conditioner on the length of my hair and shampoo the roots with Suave Naturals x2 a week. I don't use any leave ins because I don't have enough money to spend on extra stuff at the moment.

Well, I looked at what ingredients are in the Redken leave in cream, and it has cones. The shampoo doesn't though.

I totally understand about spending money on extras and trying to see what works on the hair can be pretty expensive. I hope you find what works. What you have sounds good. I hope your hair starts growing better for you.

[xoerincolleen]

If I were you, I would try COing. Plus, remember the weather- I don't know where you are, but this time of year my hair is dry and takes a little more work to make it look good. Also, I think part of the reason you're so unhappy with your hair is because you aren't working with your natural texture. If your hair is a thick 2c and you want it sleek and stick-straight, that's just not going to happen every day without a straightener. You might want to give Curly Girl another try or even damp bunning. I know it's frustrating, but try to work with your natural texture and you might be pleasantly surprised.

[heidi w.]

Can you play with a side part, and in this way be able to pin the bulk of your side part hair off to one side? Most people don't look great in a middle part, and will look a lot better in a side part.

Then if you can do that, you can wait for the bangs to grow out, eventually.

I am unclear if you have curly hair or not, as you're describing poofiness, which is a typical problem that curly haired people tend to experience.

Allow me to explain a George Michael topic regarding equilibrium which MIGHT explain some of the issue with growing longer.

First, hair growing longer is an act of genetics and hormones. Some people simply can't grow longer hair because of the genes they inherited. I'm not saying this is true for you, but I am saying this can be the case for some people. Everyone has hair that behaves differently, and for some, it just doesn't grow overly long, or arrives at a certain length and tends to stop growing a whole lot longer. I've seen this somewhat commonly for some around BSL - waist length. The hair typically is a bit thin by nature, and somewhat whispy too. I don't know why your hair seems to have stopped growing, but sometimes it also occurs that the resting phase lasts unusually long, and then suddently that phase stops and it starts growing again, sometimes even spurting or jumping forward. You could be encountering such a situation.

Equilibrium...explaining GM's idea...not saying this is your specifc circumstance but it may be playing a role.

GM's idea about equilibrium is around the idea of a woman having bangs, and why he in general was against it (he's now deceased).

His idea is that if a woman cuts in bangs that the overall length one might reach is somewhat compromised because hair with extreme differences in length kind of meets in the middle. He is not saying that if a woman has bangs that the hair won't grow at all, but he is saying the overall length one can reach is somewhat reduced because the hair is kind of responding to some hair being really long as compared to some of the hair as being really short. His example is the loss of hair length The Sutherland Sisters dealt with when their cut bangs into the hair length. He also cites an apparent study he participated in on a dog who had one flank side shaved and the other flank side left alone. He stated that the longer haired side fell out somewhat because it tried to be equal to the side with shorn hair. I have no idea of the validity of his apparent study. For example, The Sutherland Sisters were alive before him, in the late, late 1800s and into the 1900s, I believe, and he used only data available to him on the record. I've no idea of the dog thing.

Keep in mind I am merely trying to explain what he means, not advocate one way or the other for it, nor am I saying this is the reason your hair isn't growing. At most, I am suggesting the possibility of this being a bit of the cause.

I think you should just continue to wait and in time, it will grow. Hair growth is also an issue of age as it relates to hormones, for example. I am 51, and for the most part, my hair has ceased growing overly thick and overly long. This is as long as it'll really ever become on me and look this nice. That's just the way it is.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

I believe that one can do too much S&D (or microtrimming) and in this way affect their hair's ability to grow longer. I have certainly had a few times when my ends became uber thin because I cut too much off via microtrimming. It's hard, as microtrimming has a kind of addictive component to it.

heidi w.