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Mesmerise
January 15th, 2012, 05:02 AM
Bit of a rant here, and I wonder if anyone else has the same experience!

I have a good friend who, for some reason, always finds the need to tell me when I need to dye my hair again (obviously when my roots are showing too obviously :rolleyes:).

Now, I would never tell her that she needs to dye her hair. I figure that she knows when she's due to dye and I don't think it's very polite to mention it. Yes, obviously I can see her gray roots, but so can she when she looks in the mirror, right?

I just feel really self conscious when she points it out! I KNOW what my hair looks like, and I really don't want to henna every three weeks to avoid showing roots (generally I do it the first Monday of every month, but it's school holidays so I got out of schedule and probably won't do it again until the first week of Feb when kids are back at school).

So yeah, I know my roots show... but I'd prefer not to be reminded ot if!

Anyone else ever get this from friends and/or family members? I just figure... I don't need to be told, so don't tell me because I'll feel more self conscious if you do!!

duchesswannabe
January 15th, 2012, 05:47 AM
Maybe you can say, "There are lots of things I have to do again and again. Like eating, sleeping, etc. I guess those take a priority to touching up the old roots, huh?"

Lissandria
January 15th, 2012, 06:10 AM
Comments like that are so unnecessary and IMO kind of rude. Try not to let it worry you. I would ignore it.

duchesswannabe
January 15th, 2012, 06:13 AM
I forgot to mention not to say what I last posted sarcastically, but with a touch of humor.

luxepiggy
January 15th, 2012, 07:33 AM
LOL! I actually have the opposite problem - I'm super paranoid that my roots will start growing out and I somehow won't notice, so I'm constantly interrogating my close friends/family about it, and I always wish they would look more closely before answering (^(oo)^)`

Have you spoken to her about the issue to let her know it makes you feel uncomfortable? Maybe she's just trying to be helpful?

luxepiggy
January 15th, 2012, 07:34 AM
LOL! I actually have the opposite problem - I'm super paranoid that my roots will start growing out and I somehow won't notice, so I'm constantly interrogating my close friends/family about it, and I always wish they would look more closely before answering (^(oo)^)`

Have you spoken to her about the issue to let her know it makes you feel uncomfortable? Maybe she's just trying to be helpful?

Renate
January 15th, 2012, 07:45 AM
My mother used to tell to dye my hair again after I started growing it out. I tell her that I want my natural color again, and then she says I should dye it my natural color. No mom, I want my NATURAL color. And then she starts all over again, I don't even listen anymore.

jacqueline101
January 15th, 2012, 07:51 AM
People are actively rude. I used to hear that when it came to my blondette hair coloring. It hurts but ignore them. I've heard it more then once enemies are there to bring you down. It makes them happy when you're sad.

long&blonde
January 15th, 2012, 08:26 AM
People can be soo rude. So true. If you didn't ask for an opinion, why do they come to you and volunteer one. Between the comments on "you need to color your hair again"..meanwhile:my case:I'd be experimenting & testing waters to see what I feel about my own natural 100 percent silver white hair. And you need a good 3 or 4 inchs of growth to think about something like that honestly. So, you get into an argument w/a relative stranger about their unasked for opinion on roots showing,and white hair,is it aging? And probably on long hair too. From a person you didn't want a "hello" out of,to be honest!
People will do the same about weight changes:why is it considered in the least acceptable to tell someone they've put on weight,need a diet or exercise. Or even point out weight loss. A simple "keep the mouth shut". Or "look nice today." Would be fine.
Its so annoying,and hurtful,its hard to ignore.
But if you tell them politely what you think, you look like you are picking a fight.
When they come to you, with unasked for criticism.
It Is a rude world.

holothuroidea
January 15th, 2012, 08:34 AM
I personally never cared if my roots were showing. I'd just say, "yeah, they sure are." Then get on with my life.

This is just a communication issue. You need to tell her that you feel self conscious and don't like to be reminded. If she's a good friend, she'll stop reminding you.

I disagree that it is rude, she's a friend of yours and she probably feels like she's being helpful. Until you tell her explicitly that you don't like it, I would assume the best intentions.

PurusNox
January 15th, 2012, 08:37 AM
I get this all the time from many people, a good 3 inches of blondette hair when growing out black hair dye does stand out. I've learnt to just accept it when people tell me to re-dye my roots and explain to them that I'm growing it out :)

Scarlet_Heart
January 15th, 2012, 08:40 AM
If she's a friend, you should be able to just tell her to knock it off already! If she's being that straight with you, there's no need to passive aggressive about it.

cheetahfast
January 15th, 2012, 08:41 AM
Even when I've had roots showing I've never had anyone say anything bad.
Well except for a friend saying my roots would be so long by the time school starts.
That wasn't meant to be bad though :shrug:

Once I made my co-worker/friend check my hair to see if she could see my roots. She said that she could but it blended really well. That was back when I was growing out a demi and I couldn't find my roots. I guess my colorist was really good at matching the color.

I think your friend is being a bit rude and insensitive.

B-L
January 15th, 2012, 08:54 AM
That's rude! You should probably just ignore it..
I havn't got any comments like that but ny mom always asks me when I' gonna cut my hair :D
She has pretty much been short-haired all her life and used to cut my hair short when I was younger.. So she thinks my BSL hair sooooo long :) little does she know that that's just the begining *muahahahah*

Alacris~
January 15th, 2012, 09:00 AM
I disagree that it is rude, she's a friend of yours and she probably feels like she's being helpful. Until you tell her explicitly that you don't like it, I would assume the best intentions.

I agree with this!
So just let her know gently, that you appreciate that she makes sure you look your best, but that you don't want to dye your hair that often and have a routine for this. Also make sure she knows you know they are showing, but feel self conscious when she tells you.

:)

Amber_Maiden
January 15th, 2012, 09:42 AM
Yes. It's only started recently though. My hair was almost my red henna colour when I started hennaing it, so it never made a difference when the roots came in, but when I got pregnant my natural hair colour changed to dark brown, and there was a huge difference between it and my hennaed hair. I tried dying over the henna with herbal dye and indigo, but no luck. The red shows through.

Long_hair_bear
January 15th, 2012, 09:46 AM
Maybe you should start pointing her roots out to her and see if she likes it.... :p

But no, that's just being rude. You do it when you want to and have time. She needs to keep her opinions to herself.

AspenSong
January 15th, 2012, 10:44 AM
Personally, I find it rude! I don't have this issue anymore since I no longer dye my hair and haven't in about 4 years now....But I would NEVER say that to another person!
I've been flat out incensed lately with my FIL and BIL for doing this to my MIL! She went through having breast cancer, luckily didn't have to do chemo, but afterwards she decided to stop dyeing her hair red because A) she wanted to see what her natural color was at this point and B) she said she just didn't feel comfortable putting more chemicals into her body that way right now.
So her hair is shorter so it grew out fairly fast and it's a dark brown color and she's got a grey streak in the front of her hair. Frankly, it's the kind of well placed, silvery streak that people dye into their hair! It looks nice I think, however FIL and BIL started completely hounding her to dye her hair. FIL went so far as to tell her he wasn't ready for her to look so "old" yet. And BIL went out and BOUGHT her hairdye and left it on the counter for her and told her to do it!! Can you believe that?!!! :angry:
I have completely stood by her however and told her if she doesn't want to dye it, DON'T...and if she does want the red back without the chemicals, I'll help her look into henna.

But yeah...comments like that in general, are completely rude IMO.

*edit* Sorry for my mini rant...lol.
I just get generally frustrated with people when they point things like that out or act in this way and it got me all fired up and remembering that incident with the in laws. lol

Mannaz
January 15th, 2012, 11:15 AM
That is if not rude , irritating to say the least. I think I might be guilty of doing something similar to one of my friends, only the other way around, example:

She: "I'm dying my hair tomorrow."
Mannaz: "What , again?! You dyed it like three weeks ago! It looks just fine and all that dyeing isnt good for your hair yadayadayada...."

Yeah. I need to stop doing that...

FrozenBritannia
January 15th, 2012, 12:34 PM
I don't know if she is being rude or honest. If she is being rude, are you really that good of friends? if she is being honest, then you should be honest too and tell her not to remind you. She won't be offended, she will probably be upset that she has unwittingly hurt your feelings and not bring it up again.

I often blurt things out like that and don't even think about it until it is too late to apologize. I call it opening my mouth and inserting my foot. I actually feel quite bad about things when I do that. Of course, my mother is the only one I know at the moment who dyes her hair, so I guess she is used to me and my big mouth. Maybe your friend is the same way?

blondie9912
January 15th, 2012, 04:42 PM
It irks me when people say that. I used to get my hair highlighted, and friends would always say "You DO know your roots are showing, right?"

Like, no guys. My vision has become impaired since the last time we spoke :rolleyes:

I find it interesting how people can feel so comfortable commenting on a certain aspect of one's appearance, yet others appear to be 'off-limits'. I mean, just imagine the reaction one would get if they told someone, "You know you're about 20 pounds overweight, right?"