Volume vs. Thickness

[WaitingSoLong]

So, my DH occasionally comments on how thin my hair is.(Now, DH loves my hair) As an LHC girl, I was starting to get offended! Yesterday I told him that just because there are women out there with thicker hair doesn't mean MINE is thin. My thickness is quite average.

Well, we were talking about 80's hair and a particular picture of me with "big hair" and his comment was that he didn't think, with my hair being so thin, that it was possible. . I explained backcombing (we called it "teasing" back then) and then he finally says something and I realized that, when he talks about my hair being thin, he is really talking about it's sleekness or lack of volume/waves/bushiness. Poofiness, he called it.

So after some clarification, I explained to him the difference between having THICK hair and have poofy or volumous (voluminous?) hair. I realize that "big' hair can give the appearance it is thick when it is not. All along he has been referring to my lack of poofiness.

However, I am still very self-conscious about how thin my hair is. I often think it looks limp and lifeless (tho I prefer the term sleek). I can do some braid waves and really get some volume if I want. But I envy the thick braids I see walking around sometimes.

I am starting to wonder if my hair length/type looks good with my particular face. Maybe I do need a bit more volume or thickness. Or even a different style.

I think I have had every style out there that is even doable with my hair type, and some that aren't. LOL. I have tried colors in the past, perms, shags, a pixie, layers, feathers (how 80's is that) and even a mullet at one point LOL. Nothing ever felt right until I just let it grow. I feel more "me" like it is now. The thought that it may not look good on me never really occurred to me before. Oh well. I have no plans to stop growing or cut it!

Gee, I think I derailed my own topic.

[Amber_Maiden]

haha! I was going to say don't cut it- but you said that in the end anyways! :)

[MonaLisa]

Well I bet there are people with poofy hair who really wish it was nice and sleek as yours :)
Mine's also avarage thickness I think, or well it's super fine and got a lot of it.
Texture goes from sleek to poofy depending on products I use, combing...styling or its own mood i guess. I do prefer it poofy because it's naturally a bit wavy and layers look meh when it's flat.
I think you should be thankful for it being so sleek at that length, your hair really looks extraoridnary and it's definitely not thin! :)

[Lamb]

OP, I had to smile at how long it took to translate your DH's words!
Looks like I'm not the only one whose hair-image has been left with permanent damage inflicted by the 1980s. I was a child in that decade, with very fine hair which wasn't even curly then (it turned curlier as I became older, but never got past 3a).
Most of my haircare choices, way into my 20s, were influenced by my desire to have "big" hair. Thank goodness my mother never allowed curling irons or hairspray!
Now I don't particularly like looking at Edwardian styles for the same reason, they fuel my inferiority complex. (But then, I like to remind myself of the hair-rats and fake pieces most women wore to create those huge poofs!)

[sazzie88]

What about clip in extensions underneath to give volume?

[auburntressed]

I often think it looks limp and lifeless (tho I prefer the term sleek).
That part right there! I feel that way, too. I even use the term, "Sleek." I had an incident this past summer where my mom made some comment about how thin my hair has gotten, and I was like... "Um what?" My hair was frizzy a lot as a teen, because I had a lot of natural curl that I didn't know how to care for. My hair is pretty much as straight as a board now, and I guess my mom wasn't used to seeing it that way.

[bunzfan]

I have poofy hair i guess but, the texture is fine but because i have a lot of it it looks pretty thick because it doesn't lay flat it can look like its not growing much.

@waitingsolong when i look at your hair i think it looks such a lovely colour and its so sleek maybe its the case of the grass is always greener.

[Melisande]

Yes, the Eighties... my best friend had wonderfully full, strong hair. I always felt hairly-challengend. I still do. In my heart of hearts, I adore waves and curls... but I have learned on the boards that indeed the grass is always sleeker...

I find this thin-thick, fine-strong terminology still confusing...

[XcaliburGirl]

I have the opposite problem. My thickness is probably only slightly more than average, but my hair's poofiness factor makes it seem even thicker. Over holiday visits, my mother-in-law was curious how I started my day with slicked back wet hair and ended up with voluminous hair a couple of hours later.

I attribute that to the curly hairs that are interspersed with my wavy and straight hairs. I can't treat it like curly hair, either, which is frustrating. Luckily for me, it calms down a bit when it is longer than APL.

Sleek hair would be nice once in a while.

[Charybdis]

XcaliburGirl, my hair is like that too. It sleekens (yes, I just made that word up) when the air is dry and the roots are starting to get oily a few days post-wash; and it's also fairly contained if it's just finished air-drying and I haven't combed or brushed it at all. Otherwise it starts getting big, and yesterday and today it's been HUGE. I should check the humidity, because I think it must have gone up! Really looking forward to getting past APL for exactly this reason.

So, yes, there is something to be said for straight hair! Just think about all the flat-iron owners out there. ;)

[Mayflower]

It's just a question of preference. I personally like poofy voluminous hair, even if it's really just average thickness. I don't like too "neat" and sleek hair -on myself. Some people have straight sleek hair that would look hideous and flat on my head, but it totally flatters them.
My hair is thick, but it looks extra thick due to the fluffyness and volume. Sometimes I feel down if my hair looks flat and thinner, but that's always just a case of build-up or wrong shampoos/conditioners, it's not my 'normal' hair that's thin. If that makes sense. Although it can have a bit less volume if I let it airdry, unlike when I put it in a high bun.

[xoxophelia]

I don't think your hair is thin at all. And, I am definitely another person in the camp of generally preferring sleek and medium thickness over puffy and super thick. I've seen long thick hair that hangs well that I really like but if it is very styled to me it looks a bit ..garish? So your natural, loose, and flowy hair is well in the range of perfect to my eyes :)

[3azza]

By your Avatar photo, i don't see you hair thin at all specially with all the length. It's beautiful and i know lots of people who would abuse their hair to have it similar to yours.

[cheetahfast]

My hair is very fine. It's probably a bit below average in thickness.
Since my hair is super curly and "big" naturally, people assume it's thick. It's actually pretty funny.

My mother's hair is so thin. It scares me (my hair my thin like it), but I think it's self caused since she blow drys daily and washes daily as well. She's strictly shampoo only and refuses to use conditioner.

To me your hair does not look thin. Your hemline is very nice! Even before you cut it, it looked fine.
Plus it seems to have the same thickness all the way down, which in my opinion is very envious. :D

[spidermom]

It's definitely a case of "the grass is greener ....". The thing I hate most about my hair is how bushy it can be. I wish I could use a flat iron without damaging my hair; I loved that straight, sleek look.

Oh well; at least it's better now than it used to be. Length has helped.

[Coffeebug]

I have really poofy wavy hair and the only way it looks sensible is if I braid it LOL You do always want what you don't have, but to me, your hair looks awesome. I'd cheerfully swap!

[WaitingSoLong]

Yep, grass is greener. sigh.

Don't get me wrong, I like straight sleek hair, I just wish it was a bit thicker (not wavier, although braid waves are nice once in awhile)

My DD's hair is about twice as thick as mine but other than that, she is my hair twin. She has the same cowlick in front, too, only the mirror image of mine. Before she cut her hair (it was about hip) it was so thick I still couldn't do many up-dos on it when she let me practice on her hair with sticks. Her hair looks better now at APL than mine ever would because of her thickness. I did a fake bob one day with my hair and she gave me a look and said "Mom, don't ever cut your hair, it doesn't look right on you!"

I wonder if my hair was that thick when I was her age. I really don't think it was. Of course I was already curling and teasing the crap out of it by 13 (late 80's)! I remember that it would lay flat no matter what (picture huge teased hair, now flatten it with your hand) and I started getting perms around then.

[Celebrian]

Yep, grass is greener. sigh.

Don't get me wrong, I like straight sleek hair, I just wish it was a bit thicker (not wavier, although braid waves are nice once in awhile)

My DD's hair is about twice as thick as mine but other than that, she is my hair twin. She has the same cowlick in front, too, only the mirror image of mine. Before she cut her hair (it was about hip) it was so thick I still couldn't do many up-dos on it when she let me practice on her hair with sticks. Her hair looks better now at APL than mine ever would because of her thickness. I did a fake bob one day with my hair and she gave me a look and said "Mom, don't ever cut your hair, it doesn't look right on you!"

I wonder if my hair was that thick when I was her age. I really don't think it was. Of course I was already curling and teasing the crap out of it by 13 (late 80's)! I remember that it would lay flat no matter what (picture huge teased hair, now flatten it with your hand) and I started getting perms around then.

All I can see is that you have beautiful 'ice-maiden' hair...

[Chetanlaiho]

DBF had me confused the same way. My thickness is also average but it's going down due to unexplained extra shedding so I am even more self conscious about it then before. And with him having course thick Asian hair, he doesn't understand my issues with it ;)

I suffer from braid envy quite badly, but I guess I'll have to learn to live with it >_>

[sfgirl]

I think your hair is beautiful! I'm actually jealous, your hair is way more thick than mine. I have fine, thin hair, and I get scared it's going to look stringy when it gets as long as yours! LOL

[holothuroidea]

When I get down about my hair, it's because I feel like it is so limp and lifeless. The hardest part for me is that I sometimes have beautiful waves but they are ephemeral and disappear a couple hours after my hair dries. It's like they just give up on life.

The most helpful thing for me has been to inundate myself with positive images of hair similar to mine, to start to view the "limp" hair as "sleek" and to feel good about the softness and shine regardless of the lack of volume. Not to creep you out, but your signature picture has been one of those positive images I keep in my head to remind me that sleek hair is beautiful.

It's a shame to be born in the wrong hair decade. If you had been born in the sixties you would probably feel a lot different about your hair.

[WaitingSoLong]

If you had been born in the sixties you would probably feel a lot different about your hair.

Or grew up in the 60's. I am quite a hippie at times (ok, minus the pot smoking) and this is part of what "attracted" me to grow my hair. I even dressed as a hippie for halloween this past year. I <3 tie-dye.

I know my sig pic looks ok, but keep in mind I only take pics when my hair is at its best and primed to look the best it can in the photo.

I definitely get braid envy. When I do two braids my braids are so skinny. My dd can have two braids and each is as thick as one on me. She has a friend who can do FOUR braids and each one is as thick as ONE of mine!

I think I am concerned it will just get worse with age (probably a guarantee) and the more you start out with the better.

[jacqueline101]

I think volume is better. I don't have really thick hair so I have been able to do volume my waves.

[holothuroidea]

Someone around here has a quote in their signature that I think is apropos for this thread, I can't remember it exactly but it is something to the effect of, "no matter how much you hate your hair there is someone who'd love to have it."

If braids make you feel inferior, don't braid your hair. I personally like little braids. :shrug:

[Vanille_]

However, I am still very self-conscious about how thin my hair is. I often think it looks limp and lifeless (tho I prefer the term sleek).

I just want you to know that I love seeing you posts BECAUSE of your hair. It's exactly what I've always wanted in terms of sleekness. It's probably number one in terms of you being my hair idol.

I hope that brightens your day.

[Mesmerise]

Well, WSL, I think you have beautiful hair! I wish mine was sleek and straight (and boy oh boy do I miss my straightener :( alas my hair is permanently messed from using it so it's gone...). I think I look better with sleek straight hair, rather than poofy wavyish hair!

And anyway, it's all about what YOU like! I imagine it's really annoying being told your hair is "thin" when it isn't. I think maybe your husband should choose a better word to use :p. To a hair person, a comment like that just comes across as bad! If he'd said it was "fine" or something, well it doesn't sound nearly as bad, does it?!

I don't mind being told my hair is FINE, I do not like being told it is THIN! And even if it's true, I still don't wanna hear it because it will make me parandoid... darn shedding :(.

[beachgirlla]

Well I bet there are people with poofy hair who really wish it was nice and sleek as yours :)


LOL, are you talking about me? :), I totally agree, I don't think you have thin hair, actually because your hair is so straight, smooth and healthy it ended up looking somehow thin for your DH, I don't call this thin, this called very smooth and straight, your hair may be much thicker (volume wise) than mine, but my hair poof like no tomorrow.
I don't understand this !!!!, if that pic in your post is yours, then your hair is one of the most beautiful hair I have ever seen (plus some other ladies here :D), your DH could not find any fault in it, obviously !, this like criticizing a rose by saying its so red?? so what !

[alyanna]

Okay I haven't even read the entire thread but HELLO!!! Your hair is gorgeous! That super-straight sleekness is exactly what makes it so beautiful and unique.

I love your hair.

I've got the poofy thing going on and I bet if you had it, you might be wishing for sleek...



So, my DH occasionally comments on how thin my hair is.(Now, DH loves my hair) As an LHC girl, I was starting to get offended! Yesterday I told him that just because there are women out there with thicker hair doesn't mean MINE is thin. My thickness is quite average.

Well, we were talking about 80's hair and a particular picture of me with "big hair" and his comment was that he didn't think, with my hair being so thin, that it was possible. . I explained backcombing (we called it "teasing" back then) and then he finally says something and I realized that, when he talks about my hair being thin, he is really talking about it's sleekness or lack of volume/waves/bushiness. Poofiness, he called it.

So after some clarification, I explained to him the difference between having THICK hair and have poofy or volumous (voluminous?) hair. I realize that "big' hair can give the appearance it is thick when it is not. All along he has been referring to my lack of poofiness.

However, I am still very self-conscious about how thin my hair is. I often think it looks limp and lifeless (tho I prefer the term sleek). I can do some braid waves and really get some volume if I want. But I envy the thick braids I see walking around sometimes.

I am starting to wonder if my hair length/type looks good with my particular face. Maybe I do need a bit more volume or thickness. Or even a different style.

I think I have had every style out there that is even doable with my hair type, and some that aren't. LOL. I have tried colors in the past, perms, shags, a pixie, layers, feathers (how 80's is that) and even a mullet at one point LOL. Nothing ever felt right until I just let it grow. I feel more "me" like it is now. The thought that it may not look good on me never really occurred to me before. Oh well. I have no plans to stop growing or cut it!

Gee, I think I derailed my own topic.

[girlcat36]

WSL---I'd love to have your hair, it always catches my eye when you post in threads. It is so sleek! I have loved sleek-looking hair since I was a small child.
My hair is pretty thin(and fine), but since it is 3a, I have a little volume. People don't realize how very thin it is because the waves and curls mask it.
I wear twin braids quite frequently and they are unbelivably skinny.
I wear them anyway because they are convenient.

[Quetiepi]

My hair is thick and tangles easily. Your hair is beautiful, I would love it if mine was straight like yours. I recently went & got a trim and mentioned the tangling and the stylist said that blond hair tangles easily. May I ask if you have the same problem? I'm curious.

[Long_hair_bear]

Well I bet there are people with poofy hair who really wish it was nice and sleek as yours :)
Mine's also avarage thickness I think, or well it's super fine and got a lot of it.
Texture goes from sleek to poofy depending on products I use, combing...styling or its own mood i guess. I do prefer it poofy because it's naturally a bit wavy and layers look meh when it's flat.
I think you should be thankful for it being so sleek at that length, your hair really looks extraoridnary and it's definitely not thin! :)

Yep, I think this all goes back to " the grass is greener" deal. My hair is like yours, meaning I wish it were thicker. It feels thin to me at times unless I go to sleep with two wet braids and brush it out in the morning. However, I'm sure someone with very thick hair sometimes wishes they didn't have so much to deal with. I like my hair sleek most times, but when I go to do updos, it kinda sucks.

[WaitingSoLong]

My hair is thick and tangles easily.

...May I ask if you have the same problem? I'm curious.

Yes, my hair tangles muchly. It is very tedious to wear it down, and pretty much impossible to do so in winter with all the static and zippers, etc. to get caught on. I took it down a minute ago because I couldn't lay back in my recliner, and when I tried to sit up...BAM, :mad: headlocked, my hair was pinned under my elbow. That is interesting about tangling being a trait of blonde hair. I was going to say that darker haired people tend towards thicker hair, but there are so many exceptions in both cases.

Thanks, everyone, for your very generous :o remarks about my hair! I wish I could see it as others do. Sometimes I read the compliments and just shake my head...I just don't see it that way! LOL. But I appreciate the encouragement.

I am glad I am not the only one who has dealt with sleek vs. thin issues. FINE is a good word, I would be ok to say my hair is fine. My individual strands are very thin, so maybe I do have thin hair! But FINE is a much happier word. :p

By the by, drying my hair upside down does add some volume, especially if I don't brush it out afterwards.

[kjirstiben]

As others have mentioned, I think this is one of those "grass is greener" things... WSL, I absolutely LOVE how smooth and sleek your hair looks! I had my hair flatironed once and it was like that... sigh. Then it rained. :)

I'm a fine / thin-medium thickness / "poofy" haired person... When I take down my normal-sized bun, I normally hear a chorus of "I never knew you had SO MUCH HAIR!!! How did you compress it so much?!?!". And my hair loves to develop "wrinkles" if I so much as look at it the wrong way... and there's nothing lovely about having the last 6" of your hair stand at right angles to the rest of the hair and refuse to smooth down!

My braids, though, are sadly small, though I can usually fake some thickness by braiding loosely. Currently my gripe is with their taper...

BTW, we're the same age, and while my hair was enviable in middle school (late '80's), it was embarrassing and regrettable by late high school and college (mid '90s), when very straight hair came back in style!

All of it goes to say that I think you can find good and bad things about pretty much ANY head of hair! In the end, I think I'm happy with mine... it just takes a little bit of extra patience on days when it decides to shoot off at a weird angle or curl tightly on one half of my head and barely at all on the other...

[WaitingSoLong]

kjirstiben...too bad it is phsyically impossible to just trade hair for a day. I would gladly swap with you!

I had "big" hair (teased bangs at least) until....well 1992 for sure. I know in 1993 I had let my bangs grow to be able to be pulled back in a barrette. Sometime after that I began dying my hair different colors and experimenting with styles, length and cuts. I probably never looked the same twice from one month to the next. I pixie'd it in 1998 and then when it was chin length I colored it auburn. By 2000 I had a shoulder length shag with a perm. I let that grow out and then dyed it auburn again and had a "flip" cut. The next year I bleached it about 2005. It was only very recently I settled on natural long hair, probably 2007? I do recall distinctly wanting the perms out (tho I have never used a straight iron in my life...remember when crimped hair was in style?). I dyed it to my root color and decided to grow. I had hit about waist when I found TLHC.

I never dyed my hair an unnatural color or had a mohawk but that is about it. I should make a hair collage of me through the years. :::shudders::: Maybe some things are best left in the past LOL.

I have always been insecure about my hair and ALWAYS hated putting time into it....curling irons, hairspray, etc. (OMGosh I would get up 2 hours early just to do my hair before school)

Now I have been told I don't have a hairstyle. ? How are buns and braids not a hairstyle? Yes, my dear husband said THAT, too. LOL. IRL I am very plain Jane, I strive to be unnoticed and it usually works. Wearing my hair down now always attracts attention and I get to choose when I am willing to do that. More than once I have hurriedly put it in a bun due to unwanted attention. But the longer I go with it up, the more attention it gets when it's down. It has almost become its own beast!

But now the way I look at it is, if I am going to draw attention when it's down, it may as well be because it is SUPER long...so I am headed to knee length one day. Maybe even term. My hair does taper quite a bit, I think anyone's hair would, but as I am still growing out highlights, I know that my virgin hair is a teeny bit thicker plus I have a lot of "new hair" that is the exact length of my virgin roots. I had a big shed about the same time I stopped highlighting. The regrowth is just now long enough to be put in a pony, when it is a bit longer I will remeasure my circumference and see if there is any improvement.

Consequently, I would love to see pictured of ponytail circumference profles! Anyone want to share?