Pretty Devastated.

[iszolda111]

I've been growing my hair out from a bad haircut since last December. It was almost all one length and I was looking at pictures from when it was nice, when I had a good haircut. last night I carefully tried to cut the top layer the way it was when it looked nice. My hair was so long, I could have just waited a few weeks or so to get it cut by a hairdresser, but I was impatient and I tried. I ruined it. It looks so stupid. Now I have months and months ahead of me to get it long enough to fix properly. I don't know why I keep doing these stupid things. I guess I just wanted to complain to people who get how frustrating it is. I'm actually so depressed from it as this is the 3rd time in a row I have ruined my hair. I've spent the last 4 months growing out my screwed up bangs and now It's going to take 6 months to grow out this too-short layer. I want to crawl away and die.

[jacqueline101]

You're not dumb I've gave myself hair cuts remembering my younger days. In fact I still wear and self trim my bangs. I have messed up my bangs and I keep hoping no one notices them.

[LadyCelestina]

First,calm down! :flower:
Second,here's a big hug for you :grouphug:

Your hair WILL grow back.Just be patient,please.Don't look back.

[Amazinggrace]

I'm sorry it was such a tramatizing experience.

At least you have learned that, for now, self trimming is not for you. I'm sure you can use barrettes, clips, bows to secure your hair for the next few months.

By spring time your hair will be ready to be trimmed again. I'm sure it is not bad now, but it will be great soon. Try to forgive yourself, and carry on. :hugs

[chocolatecurls]

I am sorry you are so upset. :(
Hide those scissors! Your hair will grow back. ((hugs))

[Neneka]

I know how you feel. At one day something like a year ago I just cut away my BSL hair to a pixie! My hair was very damaged and all but I still regret cutting it so much... But I can tell by looking at your pics that you are very pretty and I like your hair texture and the colour. :) I have always adored wavy hair (mine is very straight).

And about self trimming. It takes some practice. I cut and trim my hair myself (because it's a lot cheaper than going to a salon). I started with my bangs 5 years ago and I am still making mistakes. Just remember that cutting too little is better than cutting too much.

Oh, I wish that I could just take away peoples bad feelings! That would be so nice.

[jojo]

aww weve all done impulsive things with our hair (((big hugs))) it will grow.

[Hamh]

Try not to stress, I know its easy for someone not in the position to say but just pin it back however you like it best and then forget about it completely for 6 months. It will grow back before you know it don't worry.

[faellen]

I want to crawl away and die.

Aww, I'm sure you don't really. :heart:

6 months isn't too long, it will grow back before you know it.

[spidermom]

Just consider it another lesson learned and you'll think it through before you do something so impulsive again.

I hope you have a super-fast growth spurt to make up for it.

[iszolda111]

Thanks everyone it really cheers me up to read those things! I have an appointment at the hairdressers for monday, I asked everyone who the best hairdresser around here is and was told this lady is very good with young girls hair ( some people here in this small town only generally cut senior citizens hair and are useless with long hair, thats what happened to me last time.) I'm going to go and see if she can fix up the layer, make it look a little better, blended into my hair. If you could see how carefully I sectioned and cut it you would find the result hilarious, It's uneven and doesnt blend at all and its way too short! The thing that makes me so depressed is that the last time I cut it myself I said , ok, I've learned my lesson and will never try to cut it again! Why didn't I listen to myself? Ah! If I could only go back to yesterday morning! 6 months seems like an eternity and it still won't be as it was before then. It was almost all one length now my top layer is like even with my bangs at my mid-cheek! Disaster!

[vatikagirl]

Hang in there honey, hugs and more hugs.

[WinterButterfly]

Your hair will grow back. I have impulsivly cut my hair in the past. the day i had my hair cut straight across and no longer had layers or bangs was the day i decided not to rush into any trims. hair cutting is an art. it takes practice. i took the scizors to my hair the first time at age 16. I probably looked kind of weird the first few times. but it always grew back. I find that the easiest way to cut layers is to comb all the hair to the front of your head while leaning forward. then cut a u shape. this gives soft layers. of course i havent used this technique since my hair was mbl, so i dont know what it would look like on longer hair.
I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure it will all work out fine.

[Rosa]

Good luck iszolda! I've done exactly the same thing! I once drastically shaved the back of my head and got barber's rash!
I know your hairdresser will be able to restore your hair to its lovely self!

[Lostsoule77]

I'm sure the hairdresser will be able to help. Just make sure you are very specific about what you want and what your goals are. We are human and all make stupid mistakes. I did my first self trim a year ago and it wasn't all that great. With waves though it makes it easier to blend it in. :D You can still self trim. Just know that it takes practice to get it right and less is more. It is also better to trim it together or in half, not in tons of little sections. That is probably what caused most of your problems. Try looking into Feye's self trimming method if you decide to do it again. :)

[Yozhik]

:grouphug:

Don't be so down on yourself! It'll grow back, and if you ever do decide to self-trim again, remember to take off much smaller sections than you imagine you should, and check and double-check before snipping. :flower:

[iszolda111]

appointment with the hairdresser is tomorrow. I don't think she can fix it to look nice though. I am getting more and more depressed from this everyday. My hair is what makes me "pretty". My looks have gone down by like 90% since I screwed this up. My boyfriend is coming to live with me in 3 days, whats he going to think when he gets here? I seriously don't feel like doing anything, I don't want to be seen, I want to go hide away for a year. It feels and looks so THIN now. And it's been shedding like mad for the past couple of days. Could that be from the stress of having ruined it? :S

[the.fee.fairy]

aww. don't be so down on yourself.

We've all made mistakes. My hair went candyfloss once when i was stupid enough to let my mother and sister loose on it with bleach and colours...

You hair will grow!

Shedding is probably to do with the stress. Calm down, have a cup of tea, eat a chocolate bar.

Hopefully your hairdresser will be able to soften the layers for you so that instead of having one choppy layer, you'll have graduating layers. There's still plenty you can do with it - especially french/dutch braids - they work really well with layered hair.

Think about it in a positive way - most of the damage we have to our hair as longhairs is in the upper layer (all the brushing, pushing out of faces etc.). You've cut out all the damage to that layer, making it healthier and stronger. it will grow happily without damage now.

I cut feathers in the sides of my hair a few years ago and it rocketed in growth. When i looked at what i'd cut off, i noticed so many splits and damaged bits that i hadn't seen before. So cutting it off is really not a bad thing. You can now baby that layer and the ends and get them long and beautiful in no time :)

[spike316]

appointment with the hairdresser is tomorrow. I don't think she can fix it to look nice though. I am getting more and more depressed from this everyday. My hair is what makes me "pretty". My looks have gone down by like 90% since I screwed this up. My boyfriend is coming to live with me in 3 days, whats he going to think when he gets here? I seriously don't feel like doing anything, I don't want to be seen, I want to go hide away for a year. It feels and looks so THIN now. And it's been shedding like mad for the past couple of days. Could that be from the stress of having ruined it? :S

Omigoodness ok, take a deep breath. Perhaps even a nice warm bath with epsom salts and lavender EO? ^_^ What's done is done and worrying about it isn't going to do anyone any good (especially you!) Also, I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your boyfriend, but if it were me I would have already called and told my boyfriend about it and how terrible I felt and I know he would be able to reassure me and still make me feel beautiful because he's awesome. Guys (generally speaking at least) don't usually even notice things like layers, my boyfriend notices my overall length and if I curled it or put it up, but otherwise he just wants me to be happy and I'm sure yours is the same. Also, having looked at your pictures there is NO WAY that your looks have decreased by 90% just by cutting in an unflattering layer, you're just too gorgeous for that. :flower:

[PinkyCat]

I'm so sorry this happened. I know how devastating a bad cut can be. It feels terrible. :grouphug:

Take your vitamins, drink your water, plenty of protein & plenty of sleep (hair grows most in your sleep) & excersise, get the blood flowing to the scalp. One day soon you'll wake up & feel GORGEOUS again! :blossom:

[Darkhorse1]

I'm so sorry this happened. ((hugs)) to you. We've all been there and made bad decisions--it's part of learning. Just remember hair does grow so maybe have fun playing around with some new styles and using fun accessories?

[wicked kisses]

I'm so sorry this happened. I know how devastating a bad cut can be. It feels terrible. :grouphug:

Take your vitamins, drink your water, plenty of protein & plenty of sleep (hair grows most in your sleep) & excersise, get the blood flowing to the scalp. One day soon you'll wake up & feel GORGEOUS again! :blossom:

And don't forget your fish and eggses. Very important for hair growth.

[iszolda111]

ughh thank you so much I know that I am overreacting. I didn't tell my boyfriend I ruined it because I have ruined it (slightly compared to this) a couple of times in this past year and I am honestly just too embarrassed to tell him I messed it up again! It will make me sound like I'm mad, why would I try to cut it again after just messing it up twice in a row and complaining about it? I think I have a problem with impulsive decisions, it's almost like once I get the impulse to do it I feel like I must do it, I can't rest until I do this thing I'm thinking of doing. I don't know whats wrong with me.
Men don't notice things like layers and mistakes, but this one does! I know he will still love me and it will grow, it's just last time he was here visiting at christmas he was enamoured with my hair and how long and thick it had gotten. And he is so beautiful, I just don't want to look crappy, he deserves a beautiful girlfriend and I'm always trying to better myself for him. Not out of insecurity or that he says anything detrimental to me, just that I love him so much and he is honestly gorgeous model quality, and I just want to be worthy of his love I guess. This is probably the worst I have looked in a couple of years, and so I'm really stressed about it. I'm overreacting soo bad. I don't know why, it seems like a huge devastating thing to me. There are bigger problems in the world than my hair looking funny for a few months!

[Mommyof4]

I know how you feel! I had a very stressful time a few years ago, my husband was laid off and we lost everything. For some reason, I took it out on my BSL hair :'( I cut it all off myself into a bob that was slightly shorter in the back. Everyone LOVED it, saying they couldn't believe I cut it myself, but I cried daily. At least it was a layer, and not all of it.

*Take a picture of yourself right now with a face expressing how you feel, that way, when you have the "self-trim" urges again, you can look at them and say NEVERMIND* :D

[heidi w.]

What you need is that when you feel inspired to cut your own hair to remember how the past tries at this didn't work so well, and to WAIT til you can get to a hairdresser who has the ability to see much better than you can. There are articles or threads on how to trim not cut/style your own hair here on LHC. You might want to explore those.

All long hair officionados advocate the 2 week rule. To wait a minimum of 2 weeks before deciding to do anything impulsively. Most times impulsiveness is not very helpful to yourself. IF it's not an actual emergency, there's no need to behave as though it is an emergency.

heidi w.

[spike316]

ughh thank you so much I know that I am overreacting. I didn't tell my boyfriend I ruined it because I have ruined it (slightly compared to this) a couple of times in this past year and I am honestly just too embarrassed to tell him I messed it up again! It will make me sound like I'm mad, why would I try to cut it again after just messing it up twice in a row and complaining about it? I think I have a problem with impulsive decisions, it's almost like once I get the impulse to do it I feel like I must do it, I can't rest until I do this thing I'm thinking of doing. I don't know whats wrong with me.
Men don't notice things like layers and mistakes, but this one does! I know he will still love me and it will grow, it's just last time he was here visiting at christmas he was enamoured with my hair and how long and thick it had gotten. And he is so beautiful, I just don't want to look crappy, he deserves a beautiful girlfriend and I'm always trying to better myself for him. Not out of insecurity or that he says anything detrimental to me, just that I love him so much and he is honestly gorgeous model quality, and I just want to be worthy of his love I guess. This is probably the worst I have looked in a couple of years, and so I'm really stressed about it. I'm overreacting soo bad. I don't know why, it seems like a huge devastating thing to me. There are bigger problems in the world than my hair looking funny for a few months!

Well if impulsiveness is a problem for you perhaps some way to excercise mental control over that would be a good idea? I would recommend either yoga or meditation for that. And I know it sucks, but worrying about it is not doing anyone good, and all that stress you're putting on yourself about it could be causing your shedding problem which meditation or yoga might also help with by turning your focus away from yourself. Also even if your boyfriend is model worthy attractive (congrats on that btw! ^_~), he's not (or at least shouldn't be) dating you just for your looks! He likes the whole package otherwise he would have jumped ship at your first hair mistake. This whole thing about girls worrying about their "worthiness" in comparison with their boyfriends was one of my main problems with Twilight. Although I suppose I shouldn't be so gender specific because my boyfriend had some self esteem issues as well when we first started going out too. You don't need to worry about being good enough for your boyfriend, if he didn't think you were he wouldn't be with you to begin with. Just like if he wasn't good enough for you, you wouldnt' be with him. That doesn't mean you let yourself go downhill, just that it's not the most important part of you. Confidence is beautiful. ^_^

[iszolda111]

I don't think I mean I am not confident, not like I don't think I a good enough for him, I think we look good together, we have been together for 5 years and have a 3 year old daughter. It is not a big deal breaker sort of concern, It's just a bummed out depressing sort of thing. It's just the initial oh my goodness I ruined myself feelings, when you've got such a ridiculously, insanely, wouldn't trade his looks for johnny depp or brad pitt, good looking sort of man you have a healthy motivation to look your best all the time!

[spike316]

I don't think I mean I am not confident, not like I don't think I a good enough for him, I think we look good together, we have been together for 5 years and have a 3 year old daughter. It is not a big deal breaker sort of concern, It's just a bummed out depressing sort of thing. It's just the initial oh my goodness I ruined myself feelings, when you've got such a ridiculously, insanely, wouldn't trade his looks for johnny depp or brad pitt, good looking sort of man you have a healthy motivation to look your best all the time!

Oh ok, you had me worried a bit there. ^_^ Perhaps some half ups with cute clips or headbands would help tide you over until the funky layer grows out? Just remember everyone has their bad days. If you don't believe me here's a bunch of pictures of celebrities without makeup: http://www.topsocialite.com/celebrities-without-makeup/ I'm sure you're still gorgeous!

[holothuroidea]

I cut my DD's hair into a chin length bob that everyone loved and asked me where I went to get it. So apparently I did a good job, but I was devastated. I cut off her curls and they didn't come back, now her hair is just wavy. Thinking about it still breaks my heart. I'm never cutting her hair again unless she begs me to.

You'll be fine. It could have been a lot worse, at least you still have long hair!

[blondie9912]

I'm with you! I gave myself a trim I totally didn't need the other day

[sfgirl]

I understand problems with impulsiveness. Every 2 years I cut my bangs to shake up my look, never get them trimmed again because I hate hair in my face, spend the next two years growing them out, and than do it all over again. Your boyfriend I don't think will be too upset though. Like someone else said guys don't pay THAT much attention to hair, and at least it's not like messing up the color really horribly. I'm sure he'd notice that.

[spidermom]

I hope you feel better by now. Short hair can be pretty too, you know.

Maybe get a couple of long haired dolls to have around the next time the "I gottta cut!" urge hits.

Hair styling school might be an option for you.

[turtlelover]

A good stylist should be able to blend the layers. Don't stress....it'll be MUCH better in a few months! I've done similar things, and it always does grow back.

[swearnsue]

Spidermom beat me to the suggestion regarding hair styling school. I sounds like you want to cut hair! You could get paid to do what you love. Cutting your own hair is the hardest because it's so hard to see the back.

[iszolda111]

I have no interest in cutting hair at all! I only did the last three trims myself because I live in the middle of nowhere, and the last hairdresser I went to here last winter gave the second worst haircut of my life. It made me terrified to go to another hairdresser out here in the backwoods and the nearest real town is 2 hours away. I didn't have anyway to get there for a haircut. This time I was desperate to have someone try to fix it and I begged my dad to take me to that town 2 hours away so I could go to the hairdressers, but he said no way, because I am just not that important you see. So, I asked some of my friends who used to live here in high school and one who still lives here and they all said they did get their hair cut here by a particular woman who works out of her basement. SO I am now going to her. I didn't know she existed otherwise I would never have attempted to trim/cut/layer my own hair or bangs this year.

[iszolda111]

OK so she fixed me up pretty well.

pictures in my album.

[PinkyCat]

It looks beautiful! You can do all sorts of cool stuff with that hair!

[Lostsoule77]

I think that looks good, just like layers should look. I don't know how it looked before hand, but it is fine now. :)