"Why would you WANT all that hair?"

[AnimaSola3o4]

This is what I heard tonight, aimed at me. I was sitting in a bingo hall, and struggling to control my bun with whatever gadget I happened to have with me at the time, and as I was bunning my hair my finger got stuck in a tangle. I heard the women behind me talking and I heard "Why would you want all that hair?" And the other woman agreed with her I believe, I couldnt quite make it out.

I'm not mad, exactly. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but at least make it quiet enough to where I can't hear you. Frankly I'm also a little bit thrilled at the comment, because it finally means it seems to the average lady with shoulder length hair that I have enough hair to seem an unreasonable amount!! :cheese:


In other hair news, my hair hasnt been washed in a week. I keep meaning to, but when I went to wash it today I realized where I was going (bingo hall), and realized that the place has an odor that tends to linger on your clothes, hair, and realized I didn't want to waste a wash if I was going to smell like the bingo hall afterward. I've discovered Head and Shoulders Itchy Scalp Care works for me really well!! I used to have to have Nizoral, but this is WAY cheaper!! I also microtrimmed my ends and layers (braided and microtrimmed the pieces sticking out), and my hair feels amazing.

Negativity be damned, I love my hair.

[Aredhel77]

Negativity be damned, I love my hair.

And rightly so, it's BEAUTIFUL! Sounds like a thinly-veiled jealous comment to me :D

[AnimaSola3o4]

Oh trust me, my hair wasn't looking it's best while I was struggling with it, it was very floofy and frizzy and dirty lol. But maybe they were just jealous of the length, or thought that my hair wasn't well cared-for judging by its appearance at the time. Either way, gotta shrug it off lol. And thank you. :flower:

[auburntressed]

The comment, "Why would you WANT all that hair?" could be refuted just as well by saying, "Why would you WANT to keep your hair short?" Either one is just a style, and no one else is hurt by the style that you are wearing on YOUR head.

I think right now, long hair is not necessarily the most trendy style that is out there. Therefore, it falls into that category of, "Anything that is out of the ordinary, unusual, special, or not often seen..." that gets ragged on simply because it is not common.

In a way, having long hair is like being a redhead. You stand out. When you stand out, you have a target painted on you. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. It just means you get noticed before someone else who has something less noticeable to criticize. Cause people always have to criticize SOMETHING.

[Of the Fae]

I guess the massive amount of curls makes it even more full and thick :) Your hair looks awesome in your avatar!

[AnimaSola3o4]

Thanks guys!! Yep, being a redhead definitely adds to the amount of reactions I get about my hair. I do love the extra attention usually... but there are times when I want to fade into the background and i stick out like a sore thumb lol. Not just my hair either. Eh well. Guess any of the reasons I get stared at are better than say, having a third eye. <though I do have to say, having a third eye could come in handy at certain times! Like one in the back of the head!>

Anyway, I'm up past my bedtime and therefore pretty much rambling.

[Mommyof4]

I think she was jealous! Even if your hair wasn't looking its "best", with the thickness and length, she was probably thinking "Man, I wish I had that hair..ugh" and wanted to make herself feel better... Your hair is gorgeous! I do understand how it feels to hear criticism and be annoyed. I'm in my 20's with 4 kids and my husband and I constantly are asked *to our faces* "why do you have so many kids?* or *don't you know what causes 'that'?* like our beautiful children are a virus or burden. People seem to enjoy pointing out anything that *they* wouldn't do or don't do as *bad* or *wrong*.. I don't get it :/

Anyways *steps off of emotional soapbox*

:D

[LovingLife]

I love your hair too! :)
And don't worry about all that hair comments! :)
It just means your thickness is enviable

[auburntressed]

I'm in my 20's with 4 kids and my husband and I constantly are asked *to our faces* "why do you have so many kids?* or *don't you know what causes 'that'?* like our beautiful children are a virus or burden.I grew up in a family with several children in it as well, and my parents heard that question countless times! Though I think a good part of the reason was that our family was religious, so people were curious to know if it was a religious conviction or if they just liked kids. Still kinda rude, though?

[Rosa]

Sounds like jealousy to me. What a nerve! Why do some people feel the need to comment on a total stranger's appearance? It's ridiculous. My mum likes to make inappropriate comments in public, probably because her own life is so flipping boring.

[Toadstool]

Here we go, with all the usual jealousy comments. Not everyone is jealous of long or abundant hair! The speaker may genuinely have not liked the thought of having so much hair to deal with. A lot of people don't.
OP, you and your hair look beautiful.

[Mommyof4]

I grew up in a family with several children in it as well, and my parents heard that question countless times! Though I think a good part of the reason was that our family was religious, so people were curious to know if it was a religious conviction or if they just liked kids. Still kinda rude, though?

Yes, we are Christians and I think many people wonder if we don't use birth control or something.. We only had them so close together because I was told at a very young age that my body could never carry a child, then I had successful pregnancies with no problems and got pregnant nursing the last 2 times, but no complaints because I have 4 amazing people that call me Mom and are going to be adults that shape the world around them! Turns out, the doctor who said that was right about my endometriosis to an extent.. I just had a mandatory hysterectomy in November 2011. I LOVE my children and I never had a desire to stop having them. I believe they are blessings from God, but I don't believe that it is wrong to use birth control or to decide how many to have, or not to have.

It's funny to me why people care since they don't pay our bills or babysit.. I've also been asked if we have children to get "money" from the state... I was SO mad the first time I was asked that.. we don't get ANYTHING from the government for our kids, not to mention, they just started taking a 5% *retirement* cut out of my husband's check thanks to our new governor.. but anyways...

My oldest 2 kids get upset and look sad when people ask that. My oldest has asked me so many times if people think they are "bad" kids. I think in his mind that must be why they are scowling and counting them and then saying ridiculous statements. I had a lady ask me the other day if they were *all mine* when I answered yes, she then walked over to my husband and asked, "Well, they're all hers, are they all yours?" My husband looked right at her and said, "I thought they were yours?" HAHAHAHAA.. you should've seen her face! She was a very nice lady, but she acted like children were less than human.. it's sad when people who were once children themselves rant about equality and then frown upon the most innocent and helpless of society..


OP, sorry for hijacking your thread:o

[whiterabbitz]

I want all your hair! The colour, thickness(!), length and waves... wish I had it all. :flowers:

[jojo]

I love it! id have jumped and punched the air shouting RESULT!!! great compliment!!

Did you win at bingo anyway?

[Mina17]

I'd be thrilled if someone thought I had too much hair! Yours is lovely by the way:)

[Sushi144]

Even if there was no jalousy in this woman's comment, I think it's crazy how people can't imagine you could want something different from them.

Some of my classmates used to ask me this question at middle school, and my answer was : "because I want to look like a princess !" :D

[newbeginning]

Apparently being polite wasn't part of this woman's personality. You don't just blurt out stuff like that. I agree with others that maybe she was jealous because your hair is awesome.

[Arrow]

Ooh, I would have been so tempted to use one of those snide comments I practice in my head.

"Excuse me? You don't like my hair? Is there anything else you'd like to criticize about me? My top, perhaps? Or my shoes?"

[Nae]

I would take it as a compliment, even if it isn't meant that way. I mean who here wouldn't want "all that hair?" I know I sure do. YAY! HAIR! Glad you didn't get too upset.:D


I'm in my 20's with 4 kids and my husband and I constantly are asked *to our faces* "why do you have so many kids?* or *don't you know what causes 'that'?* like our beautiful children are a virus or burden. People seem to enjoy pointing out anything that *they* wouldn't do or don't do as *bad* or *wrong*.. I don't get it :/

Anyways *steps off of emotional soapbox*

:D

I had a girlfriend of mine who had 6 children in her twenties. She was harrassed with this sort of stuff all the time. She finally broke, in church no less. A little old lady in the pew behind her very loudly asked her (during a lull in the singing) "Don't you know what causes that?!?"

My hilarious friend turned around and very loudly responded. "I sure do! *wink* And we love doing it!" I don't think that church ever quite got over that. The little old lady certainly never talked to her again. My friend's hubby about died laughing.

That girl was epic.....I haven't seen her in forever. :(

[letibear]

Your hair is lovely. I'm glad you recognize that these nasty comments (borne out of jealousy and/or ignorance) still show that your hair is being noticed - so, you are doing something right! Whenever I see a woman with long hair, I make sure that I compliment her on it!

[MonaMayfair]

Here we go, with all the usual jealousy comments. Not everyone is jealous of long or abundant hair! The speaker may genuinely have not liked the thought of having so much hair to deal with. A lot of people don't.
OP, you and your hair look beautiful.

I agree with all this, your hair's really pretty but lots of people don't like long hair (I don't like VERY long hair much myself -used to have tailbone length, but wouldn't want to grow it that long again, I'll probably stop growing it inbetween BSL and waist this time)

Everyone has different tastes.
However, whatever your personal ideas of beauty, there's NO excuse for being rude and ignorant like those women!

[Henrietta]

It it happened to me and if I were in a brave enough mood, I would turn and say, loud enough "Because I like it." I hate when people make such comments as the two ladies did. Talking loud enough for someone to hear it but in third person. Aren't they brave enough to ask you personally? No, of course, because it's just a mean comment, not a question. And they think they are safe because people should become sad or angry, but without saying anything. And I would say something. And I hope they would be surprised and embarassed.

But it's a great minigoal- to have your hair considered long by average people.

[wicked kisses]

I would have said something as well. Or simply stood up, removed my hair toy, shaken it out and said something. But then, my SO's know they have to be careful where they take me, because I will simply not shut up.

[Hollyfire3]

Lol, i love that complement! Don't feel bad, those people were probably jelous, your hair is gorgeous and they probably all want it! I understand when you say frizzy and poofy might look bad or undesiable, but hey, my hair does it too, its just how it goes with thick, curly, long hair. Just remeber, you have hair many want to have, hold your head up and wear your mane with pride!:D

[trolleypup]

*shrug* Been there done that. Hair wasn't at it's best, and I was having bunning issues (like not even getting to the point that it was even pulling type of bun failure)...and I kind of agreed with the commenter. Stopped and did a quick finger comb and got the bun on the first try...THAT felt better!

[jacqueline101]

They're jealous and that's when you look at them and say I grew it out to please me not you. Just like your hair doesn't satisfy me.

[Long_hair_bear]

The comment, "Why would you WANT all that hair?" could be refuted just as well by saying, "Why would you WANT to keep your hair short?" Either one is just a style, and no one else is hurt by the style that you are wearing on YOUR head.

I think right now, long hair is not necessarily the most trendy style that is out there. Therefore, it falls into that category of, "Anything that is out of the ordinary, unusual, special, or not often seen..." that gets ragged on simply because it is not common.

In a way, having long hair is like being a redhead. You stand out. When you stand out, you have a target painted on you. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. It just means you get noticed before someone else who has something less noticeable to criticize. Cause people always have to criticize SOMETHING.

I agree with the first sentence. Just as everyone has a right to their opinion, everyone has the right to grow their hair as they choose. Screw those people.... Long hair is beautiful.

[jojo]

people also normally rant about what they want and dont have! ignore them there idiots!

[EdG]

Can we help being overachievers? :ponder:
Ed

[Amber_Maiden]

I think they were jealous of you.

[Curly Hermione]

Don't let it bother you, your hair is stunning! This is a milestone, your first long hair comment! She was probably jealous. I get comments about my hair's curliness (not the length) and I think a good deal of it is just jealousy, that or people don't know how to react because it's different to what they're used to. :)

[heidi w.]

When they're talking loud enough to hear you, to me, it means they want me to hear. I've had this said to me. I just ignore it. People are stupid and do stupid stuff all the time, including me. So what. It's an opinion. Big whoop.

I have also gone places with unwashed hair knowing that a place is a stinky joint, and I don't like doing do-overs, especially in winter, when it takes all day for my hair to air dry.

It's just something we put up with for longer tresses: krankypoos. There's always one in the room somewhere. LOL

Just remain calm and carry on.

heidi w.

[AnAudLife]

I know what you mean...I can't tell you how many times I hear...and I'm totally seriously now..."aren't you a bit old for long hair?" I always respond with the same snobbish statement: "The main reason older women cut their hair short is they're usually too lazy to style it everyday and I'm not lazy." That usually shuts them right up.

It infuriates me to no end when women I don't even know says that crap to me. The nerve!

And hello? I'm only 45!!!

I think your hair is beautiful!

[spidermom]

I got the "why?" comment a few years ago. I think my coworkers were genuinely puzzled.

And I agree: your hair is beautiful, and I'm glad you love it.

[honeydippedxo]

Yeah I agree that it's jealousy. When people feel the need to point out other peoples flaws or what they perceive to be flaws...it's because they're jealous and insecure. Or it could be worse and she's just a b****. Either way her opinion is meaningless. Your hair is beautiful.

[PixxieStix]

I have to say, I want all that hair! Yes, victory on having it long enough that non-LHC people think it's too much! I can't wait for that day.

[moon2dove]

I have never heard or overheard so many rude and ignorant comments in all my 50 yrs of living!

If I did, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to let such comments go without a look in their direction and a beaming smile, as if to say,
"Yes, I heard you. up yours"!

I am so shocked at how many rude and ignorant people their are 'out there'.


OP, Your hair is gorgeous and they are jealous and ignorant beings:D

[HumanBean]

In regards to tends, I get Anthropologie catalogs in the mail and I have noticed of late that all the models have BSL or longer, so I sort of take that to mean long hair is on trend.

[HumanBean]

"The main reason older women cut their hair short is they're usually too lazy to style it everyday and I'm not that lazy!"

Love that comeback!

[goldenmoments]

Those ladies must have been having a really boring time that night to have nothing better than to critique your hair.

[AnimaSola3o4]

Can we help being overachievers? :ponder:
Ed

You win, best comment ever!! Thank you for the genuine laugh. :)

[AnimaSola3o4]

Thanks guys!!! It did have something to do with the fact that I felt my hair wasn't at it's best, we all have those days lol. But it makes me want to have my hair perfectly done and run into the same women again! :P It's kind of like when you run into an old classmate at the grocery store and you are all slobby and gross looking. You wanna say something like 'ahh you just caught me on a really off day, I don't normally dress or look like this!' ;)

I do agree with they may have been jealous, or they may just genuinely not understand or fathom why we would want to go through all the trouble and work it takes to care for long, thick, curly (etc.) hair. I guess either way I can still take it as a compliment of sorts.

Oh, and no I did NOT win at bingo. I came close many many times, even for the special $1000 game. My friend won $99, and bought me a snack and another sessions worth of bingo. :)

[AnimaSola3o4]

<snip>

OP, sorry for hijacking your thread:o

No problem at all, I don't even consider it hijacking, natural flow of conversations can start other conversations. No need to apologize for that! :D

[AnimaSola3o4]

*shrug* Been there done that. Hair wasn't at it's best, and I was having bunning issues (like not even getting to the point that it was even pulling type of bun failure)...and I kind of agreed with the commenter. Stopped and did a quick finger comb and got the bun on the first try...THAT felt better!

exactly! I ended up pulling out an elastic and just tying it all back and forgetting about it. Then when I got home I tangle teezed and microtrimmed and braided. Felt great about my hair. I still havent washed it actually lol.

[chocolatecurls]

You are right to not listen to their negativity. You have gorgeous hair. :)

[KatMq5150]

I want all that hair!!! (about 2 years to my goal) You'd never hear me making snide comments!!!:)

[KwaveT]

Your hair is where I wish mine was. Your hair is flat out gorgeous. They are just flat out plan jealous or extremely insecure in theirselves one of the two. Regardless they have no life if that is all they do.

[Vani1902]

Lucky. That is a comment that I am dying to hear at some point in my life. The day I hear it, I will buy a bottle of champagne. :)

[AspenSong]

Well, JMO, but I think your hair is stellar!! :D

As far as the nosy negative Nancies...I would have been tempted to turn around and say something like "I don't know...why would you WANT to have a big mouth like yours and be critical of someone elses hair?!" or "I keep it all because I try to use it as a shield against stupidity....apparently it's not working today."

But that is why I keep my inside thoughts, inside me..... ;)

[Diamond.Eyes]

A middle aged woman made a similar comment about me. We were in class at my community college, and the hair elastic holding my braid together snapped and my messy, wavy hair went everywhere. The woman sitting behind me made a comment to a guy sitting next to her and said, "I don't see why anyone would go would go through the trouble of keeping that much hair. Is it really that important?" He didn't agree with her, but it was still a rude comment. I pretended not to hear her though. Some people... :rolleyes:

[Egana]

there are three things going on here, it seems to me -

1. some people don't want the hassle of long hair. they don't want to care for it, they don't want to be hindered by it, they don't think they would enjoy it, so they can't imagine why someone else would...

2. you were feeling uncertain about your hair already, and it was fighting back in public (which is always frustrating for us big hair gals *grin*)

3. some people don't have much of a filter between thought and speech. they think it, and it comes out, right? Probably this person says things like that all the time, causing the people around her to dislike her, even if they laugh or agree at the time. forgive her and move on, enjoying the happy feeling of your newly-trimmed hair.

We *do* want all that hair, even though some people don't. And we want it so we can *enjoy* it!

[Bill D.]

It would not really be the right thing to do as it would not be polite, but I'd be tempted to say: "Do you really want all that mouth?" :p

[Long_hair_bear]

It would not really be the right thing to do as it would not be polite, but I'd be tempted to say: "Do you really want all that mouth?" :p

Lmao I love it!!! :D

[princessp]

Can we help being overachievers? :ponder:
Ed

Oh I like this Ed, this will definitely be my retort if I ever get that comment! :D

ETA: and AnimaSola3o4, your hair is fantastic!

[Lostsoule77]

AnimaSola3o4 I think your hair is stunning! Wouldn't it be a boring world if everyone wanted the same thing? Take it as a compliment that your hair gets noticed. ;) Try to leave the negativity to that rude woman. Like others have said, some people just have no filter and love to judge people. The fact that you heard probably means you were meant to. People who are that judgemental are usually cowardly and insecure. Let her wallow in that while you glory in your beautiful hair!

[AnimaSola3o4]

It's so weird how it actually made my day, instead of being insulted about it. I went there again tonight (my friend is pregnant and her dbf works all weekend so she gets bored and lonely), and I wore my hair in two swirly braids, still unwashed. I was quite proud of how long they were. The ladies weren't there as far as I knew, but I didn't take the time out to look either. I just kept playing with my tassles, which were so nice and soft between not being washed and having the new trim. And I treated my scalp to an extra long tangle teezing session tonight. I have to say, the more I use this thing the more I love it. It feels so good on my scalp that I actually get tingles down my spine! And a healthy scalp to boot. Happy dance!

[AnimaSola3o4]

there are three things going on here, it seems to me -

1. some people don't want the hassle of long hair. they don't want to care for it, they don't want to be hindered by it, they don't think they would enjoy it, so they can't imagine why someone else would...

2. you were feeling uncertain about your hair already, and it was fighting back in public (which is always frustrating for us big hair gals *grin*)

3. some people don't have much of a filter between thought and speech. they think it, and it comes out, right? Probably this person says things like that all the time, causing the people around her to dislike her, even if they laugh or agree at the time. forgive her and move on, enjoying the happy feeling of your newly-trimmed hair.

We *do* want all that hair, even though some people don't. And we want it so we can *enjoy* it!

This. Exactly this. I think it was more of number 1 than anything else. It could be actual distaste for long hair, which is okay with me. I have a distaste for some hair styles and hair cuts. The difference between my distastes and theirs, is that I don't say it out loud. :)

[Melisande]

AAAh, you have such beautiful hair! I understand why you felt it was a weird kind of compliment though. It means that your rich, red mane was just too much to overlook. I'm not sure about the jealousy thing, really not everybody loves or appreciates or wants long hair (weird as it is...) but they couldn't help taking notice of it. and had nothing but a dismissve lame old question as reaction. they may have felt threatened by the vitality of your hair and its, hrrr-hm, sexiness.

I'd say big win for your hair which looks really like a dream tale mane. And I think if that ever happened to me, I'd turn around, give them a beaming smile and say: thank you for the compliment! you are TOO kind!!! --- just to see their jaws drop.

[Ramille]

I think she was jealous! Even if your hair wasn't looking its "best", with the thickness and length, she was probably thinking "Man, I wish I had that hair..ugh" and wanted to make herself feel better... Your hair is gorgeous! I do understand how it feels to hear criticism and be annoyed. I'm in my 20's with 4 kids and my husband and I constantly are asked *to our faces* "why do you have so many kids?* or *don't you know what causes 'that'?* like our beautiful children are a virus or burden. People seem to enjoy pointing out anything that *they* wouldn't do or don't do as *bad* or *wrong*.. I don't get it :/

Anyways *steps off of emotional soapbox*

:D
I am reminded of Bill Cosby's comedy routine. When asked, 'Why do you have 5 children? he replied, 'Because we do not want to have 6
Seriously, there is no limit to which people will butt in where they are not concerned. Best wishes to you all.