The wonderful world of Trichotillomania

[Carissamarie08]

Why cant I just control you!?! I am literally a prisoner to this. One minute I am fine and the next minute I look down and there is a pile of hair in front of me that I just pulled out. And the cycle goes like this...

If I am bored or stressed
I pull my hair
without realizing/ or I do realize but cant stop doing it
I then get angry at myself and say I will never do that again
I go wash my hair (I feel like its a fresh start when I wash my hair after this)

& then it happens again.
the cycle starts over on a different day.

I have had this stupid condition or WHATEVER it is since I was 14 years old.

No one understand it, everyone thinks im just messed up in the head.

--By the way you cant tell that I have this, my hair is not thin by any means, as I tend to pull all over my scalp instead of in one spot so I am not balding...and thank goodness my hair is naturally coarse I have A LOT of it to spare.. its just annoying.

Had to vent:rolleyes::( For those of you who dont know what it is I will paste a paragraph tooken from trich.org

Trichotillomania (trick-o-til-o-MAY-nee-ah) is a disorder that causes people to pull out the hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic area, underarms, beard, chest, legs or other parts of the body, resulting in noticeable bald patches. Hair pulling varies greatly in its severity, location on the body, and response to treatment (http://www.trich.org/treatment/tr-intro.html). For some people, at some times, trichotillomania is mild and can be quelled with a bit of extra awareness and concentration. For others, at times the urge may be so strong that it makes thinking of anything else nearly impossible.

[Long_Curls]

Have you thought about seeking medical advice for this? Trichotillomania tends to be associated with several mental health disorders (not saying that you are crazy! :) ), anywhere from chronic anxiety to OCD.

It certainly can affect a person's life dramatically so if it is affecting you so much perhaps seeing a mental health specialist could help.

Kind regards.

[Minxymoo]

I'm so sorry your going through this Carissamarie :(
I agree with Long Curls, It's a mental disorder and stems from childhood. I have a friend who HAD suffered with this condition but was cured with a therapy known as hypnoanalysis. I too have used this therapy for my social phobia and the rest. It really works, I hope this may be of help to you. :blossom:

[Long_hair_bear]

I do this with my eyelashes only. I thought it was just me. :rolleyes:

[kitschy]

I've had this condition on and off since I was 13. I am now 55.

It started at adolescence. I blamed it on finding course, curly, dark hairs on my head. I promptly would pull them out. Eventually, I was consumed with feeling the new growth to see if it was stiff, and curly. If I found one that was, I pulled it out.

I usually concentrate on an area near my crown for some reason. Often I have a bald spot about the size of a quarter. Since growing my hair and treating it better, I have found that my mania is lessening - but still on occasion I will pull out my hair.

One of the worst side effects is shoulder and neck pain from having my hand raised over my head for long periods of time while searching and pulling. I think it is worse than the bald spot.

[Carissamarie08]

I go for the dark wiry hairs too, the fact that they are so unique triggers me to snag them!

[Carissamarie08]

I am to afraid of seeing a mental health anything. I am in the military and they freak out over any kind of mental anything for anybody. Knowing my luck they would just throw me out and think I am a looney.

[Long_hair_bear]

I am to afraid of seeing a mental health anything. I am in the military and they freak out over any kind of mental anything for anybody. Knowing my luck they would just throw me out and think I am a looney.

I had the same problem when I was diagnosed with panic attack disorder. I wasn't in the military or anything, but it started when I was 16 and I refused to go to a specialist or go on medicine. I told her I'd feel like a looney if I did those things. After living with it for 5 years, I finally went to a psychologist. Several psychologists and meds later, and I'm no better off. I hope it works out much better for you. :) I'd rather have my problem than yours and I'm very sorry you have it. :( you certainly have my sympathy and I can somewhat understand your feelings about not wanting to go to a psychologist.

[Carissamarie08]

Thanks,

there was a period in time for about a year when I was 17/18 while I was in Cosmetology school (before I decided to join the military) that I didnt have it. I thought it was gone, but I am now 21 and have had it since then. I dont know what made me stop last time for awhile but I wish it would happen again. I think its because my hands were always busy doing something while in Cosmetology school...now I have a 12 hour desk job, and I literally listen to radio static blaring in my ears for that long. I cannot do anything at my job except sit and stare at the wall while listening to this static, and I think thats making me go nuts. lol

BUT I also find myself doing it at home, not just at work

[turtlelover]

A supplement called N-Acetylcysteine appears to help trichotillomania patients control their compulsive behavior. I believe one study used 2400 mg with good results. It might be something to look into and discuss w/ your Dr.

[Anje]

Wearing those little stretch gloves whenever you can is helpful. Gloves and putting tape over my eyebrows is about all I can do to keep from having them half pulled when I'm stressed out.

Fidget toys might help, too.

[Cloelia]

I feel your pain. I don't think I've even told my husband this, but in eighth grade I had the nickname "Sprout" because a quarter-sized patch was regrowing front and center on my hairline (absent-mindedly pulled out my cowlick).
I've pretty successfully managed it for about 5 years now on my own, meds didn't help. What DID help was finding socially acceptable ways to give in to the compulsion A LITTLE - like shaping your eyebrows or some such.
Also, this sounds bizarre, but have you tried carrying a Koosh ball in your pocket? Remember those from the 90's? :) Seriously, it helps to just kind of pull on the strands and isn't as destructive. That particular toy helped my break the habit almost entirely.

Hope that helps.

[NightOwl26]

Weird, I pulled hairs out of my cowlick too years ago. I was stressed out while in school. Before my wedding I pulled hairs from the bottom on the back of my head. I just grew out of it after realizing wow it's almost a bald spot. I must've had a milder case and stress-induced.

[Cloelia]

Good to know I'm not the only one. :) Because of course, at 13 I was fairly certain I would die of shame and self-loathing before it grew out. Stress is a huge factor for me as well, and figuring out how to deal with the stress is kind of the only way to stop.

[Carissamarie08]

Its nice to know that im not alone, even though mine is a little more extreme then most because its all the time.

[julliams]

I used to do this too. I would find my coarse wirey strands, run my fingers up and down them and then yank them out.

I have been doing this since they started growing in which would be around 13 years old (I'm 38 now).

Since coming to LHC 2 years ago I actually stopped this behaviour myself. I realised that it is only with length that these wirey strands will lay down and do their thing. They are what give my hair it's nice wavy pattern and without them, my hair is alot straighter (which I no longer identify with). If they are short, then they are going to stick up and annoy me even more.

So - think about it - if you pull one out, it is going to take about 4 years to become what it just was!!! Now I don't know about you, but I would rather leave it on my head than make it start all over again.

What I did (which may seem trivial but actually took ALOT of work) was that when I found myself feeling for these hairs, I would find one, run my fingers up and down it and make myself NOT pull it out. This is something you CAN do if you are focusing on the action. I would think about the hair having to grow all over again and that it would take years for it to become long enough to lay down nicely, and I made the decision NOT to pull it out.

I did this over and over until I no longer had the urge to pull it out. I can tell you now that whilst sometimes I do find myself running my fingers through my hair, I don't pull any of the hairs out and I honestly no longer have to urge to do so.

It is a practiced behaviour and you have become really good at doing it so that is why your body goes back to repeating it over and over. It can be linked to a mild OCD (which is what I believe I have). All these behaviours are trained by us (without meaning to) and we can re-train ourselves to do something different (ie think about the hair and what it will mean if we pull it out and therefore choose to leave it alone).

I don't think you need to mention this behaviour to your workplace. Try to keep your focus strong when you find your hands up in your hair. If you plan to grow your hair long, if that is more important to you, use it as your ultimate goal and that this behaviour is getting in the way of what you want to achieve.

I think you can definitely overcome this but it will take months of focus and "catching" yourself before you pull the hair out.

Try something like, if you find yourself getting up in your hair, make yourself get up and get a drink of water. Sometimes doing something totally different like this will help to break the cycle and give your hands something else to focus on for that split second.

All the best.

[Mesmerise]

I don't have this...but I do have a thing where I pick at my scalp :( this also results in hairs coming out that probably shouldn't (as it causes scalp damage). I haven't been so bad with it recently, which is good... because when it gets bad, my scalp gets scabby and this gives me something to pick :rolleyes: (sorry I know that sounds SOOOO GROSS) I have never discussed this with anyone because I felt sure everyone would be totally grossed out by such a disgusting habit!

I am thinking it is probably similar to trichotillomania, although not the same as I don't pull out my hairs. I think it started in the 6th grade when we got a new sandpit at school. I'd get sand in my hair, which would cause me to fuss with it, and probably irritate it, which would lead to scabbing... and the need to pick off those scabs. It just...never ended.

When I was doing a lot of cross stitching the issue abated (as I was using both hands) but doing other things, I tend to absentmindedly pick at my scalp and if there's anything there (like a pimple or dandruff flakes or something) it will get picked. I also always felt like washing my hair was a fresh start because my roots would be all nice and clean and not picked at! But then it would start again.

I also used to pick at my eyelashes after I had conjunctivitis at 6. When I had conjunctivitis I had to pick away the goop so I could open my eyes in the morning (yucko), and afterwards I found myself picking at any bits of skin around my eyelashes, which would irrirate the skin more, and it'd get scabby and then I'd pick it. This habit lasted a few years, but I've been over it a long time now (probably until high school, but I can't really remember).

Anyway, I hope knowing about my horrid habit makes you feel better about yours ;). I do have faith that it is something you can overcome, as I have not picked at my head much at all lately and am less compelled to do so.

On the upside, my habit has enabled me to avoid head lice without having to chemically treat them :p. Because I fussed so much with my scalp I was literally able to find any louse/nit in my hair and remove it by hand (I never had more than about 1 or 2)! Also I'd never, ever be able to get a full on infestation without knowing!!

[Carissamarie08]

Mesmerise, If you google trichotillomania it is also associated with "skin picking"

[amanda_the_tall]

i also went through this, when i was in middle school. usually it was just anxiety, i eventually grew out of it, or it changed over into my stomach doing squirrelly things. :/ stress balls helped me, or playing with a hairband, just something to get the jitters out and keep your hands busy.

[Mesmerise]

Mesmerise, If you google trichotillomania it is also associated with "skin picking"

Well there you go then ;) I guess I've got the same thing as you just manifesting in a slightly different form!

[silverjen]

Probably an obvious question, but does keeping your hair in an updo help?

[Carissamarie08]

no...
When I am at work my hair is always up because it has to be, and I will end up with half of it pulled out because im messing with it in the bun.

[Anje]

I don't suppose you can wear a headscarf?

[Carissamarie08]

no not while im in uniform

[PixxieStix]

I have dealt with this disorder since I was 9 years old, and I am now 24.

It started small, I'd pull out the hairs along my part until it started getting noticeably wider, then I'd part it in a different spot and just basically went from parting on the left to the middle to the right and back again, I didn't want anyone to know so I refused a haircut for almost two years, then my mom forced me to sit down and get one and when she started looking at my scalp she FREAKED out and was calling every single salon in the phone book (literally), and while she was doing it I was trying to tell her that I was pulling it out. Of course, my voice was so small she couldn't hear me, but once she ran out of numbers and started pacing back and forth in front of me (still sitting in the chair with the cape waiting for a haircut mind you!), I managed to get it out loud enough to get her attention and told her what was going on.

It was rough for the next decade. I hated myself for not being able to stop, I had bald spots on my head I had to cover up, and it got worse as I got older with school and such. When we moved to a new town before freshman year, we found a therapist who knew the name of my disorder: trichotillomania. I had spent years thinking I was the only one, only to find out I wasn't. Well, high school started and you know how rough that is, added to the fact that I moved from a town of maybe 300 people to a city of 60,000, and it got horrible. I started wearing bandanas to school to cover the bald spots, even though it was against the rules, but we had my psychiatrist "prescribe" wearing one for me thankfully, so although the kids never knew why I didn't get in trouble, they treated me like crap for "getting away with breaking the rules". -

I had a couple close friends who knew what I was dealing with, and all through high school nearly the entire top of my head was bald. I had the craziest hair styles you have EVER seen to cover it up! (Lady Gaga may or may not have stolen ideas from me, lol!) I opened up more a little about it in my sophomore year, and by senior year a good chunk of my class knew about it and was very supportive/kind.

I was put on medication, went through therapy since fifth grade, and none of it helped. BUT, admittedly , despite the fact that I hated it and hated myself and it was an ugly existence for me up until about the age of 22, I needed to face something, and this was key:I was not ready to stop pulling out my hair, which is why therapy and drugs never worked. As much as I hated it and my self esteem suffered and I did crazy things, like shaving my head BALD on and off for three years hoping to "untrain" myself from pulling (even though I also pull eyelashes, eyebrows, leg hair with tweezers, etc.) it did not work. It was a habit, and it was comforting, in spite of the fact that I wanted to curl in a dark corner and cry myself to sleep every time after I had a "hair pulling binge". I took horrible care of myself, worked myself to death, ate little, drank way too much pop, and got stuck in a bad emotional place. Dropped out of college once. The first thing I needed to learn how to do was to love myself again, and admit that I was not normal and that that was okay.

I have had my trichotillomania under control for over a year now, because I decided that I was actually ready to stop. I think that point is different for all of us, and only you will know when it happens, but I got myself in to behavioral modification therapy (only kind that has worked even a little, when you are ready, I would look into finding someone well educated and comfortable with this therapy, it helped tremendously.) and taking the L- NAC, which you can buy from GNC, about $13 a bottle. Another person posted about it on the first page, and it did help a lot the first year I was struggling to control it. I did baby steps first: choose a hair to stop pulling and do that. I stopped with my head hair first. That took over two yeasr by itself, once in a while I pull a hair, but I can stop now. After that, I decided to add in my eyelashes and stop pulling those, a few months later, I added eyebrows. If I absolutely cannot stand it, HAVE to pull some hair, I whip out the tweezers and attack my legs, and that is my safety net.

With the behavior modification therapy, I learned how to recognize my "triggers", how I respond to them, (ie pulling out hair), and re-trained myself to respond a different way. Stress is a huge factor for me, but so is having my brain over or under stimulated. I crochet a lot, working with my hands keeps them from my hair.

Sorry for the short novel, but I cannot tell you how very much not alone you are! If you would like, you can PM me and I'd be happy to give you my cell number and we can chat. My entire saga could not be contained in this forum, but I'm happy to share with a fellow trichotillomaniac, and offer any advice/suggestions I can.

[Grillz]

My best friend has struggled with TTM since she was fairly young (eyebrows, eyelashes, head). She just started with a cognitive behavioral therapist and is following a very similar course as PixxieStix, identifying her triggers and finding ways to fidget or distract herself at the most struggling times. (By the way, I definitely plan to show her your story here, PixxieStix). She's been doing amazing! In just these few months, she has eyelashes for the longest I've ever seen. I know that you probably don't want to start therapy while you're in the military, but maybe researching some of the methods and ideas for behavior modification can help you help yourself in the mean time?

[Miss Maisie]

Trichotillomaniac here! It kind of runs in my family - some of my earliest memories are hanging out with my mom on the couch, both of us pulling out our hair. It was worst for me in college - I would pull out 50-100 hairs before I realized I was actually doing it. It was so soothing for me. I was on different medications for it at different times, but I've been doing okay without them for the past few years. Concentrating on growing my hair out seems to help, and I have a super supportive husband who keeps me from pulling when he sees that I'm doing it. I'm not going to lie - I still pull my hair out (although now it's probably less than 15 hairs per week), but nowhere near as much as I used to. Like PixxieStix said, it is basically imperative that I keep my hands busy, otherwise they go right to my head. Knitting helps. Reading a book, not so much. I'm so good at pulling out my hair that I can hold a book/turn pages with one hand, then pull my hair out with the other :-P What a skill, right?

You are totally not alone in having this.

[Miss Maisie]

Oh! Sometimes (like now!) I wear a hat around the house so my hair isn't as accessible.

[akissandapunch]

I don't have this...but I do have a thing where I pick at my scalp :( this also results in hairs coming out that probably shouldn't (as it causes scalp damage). I haven't been so bad with it recently, which is good... because when it gets bad, my scalp gets scabby and this gives me something to pick :rolleyes: (sorry I know that sounds SOOOO GROSS) I have never discussed this with anyone because I felt sure everyone would be totally grossed out by such a disgusting habit!

I am thinking it is probably similar to trichotillomania, although not the same as I don't pull out my hairs. I think it started in the 6th grade when we got a new sandpit at school. I'd get sand in my hair, which would cause me to fuss with it, and probably irritate it, which would lead to scabbing... and the need to pick off those scabs. It just...never ended.

Poor thing, this is called dermatillomania, and I have precisely the same thing. I'm a n00b and I originally came here to learn more about taking care of my hair, but I realize that there are other health-related issues I should probably consider as well if I'm going to get the most benefit out of any routine intended to help my hair.

There are spots on the scalp at my hairline around my face that I've really damaged by picking away at it, to the point where my already fine/thin hair is even more sparse in the front. It's not just on my scalp either. Any dry spot of skin on my forehead, from brow level to scalp is fair game. I keep hydrogen peroxide and swabs on hand to clean the...(ugh, I hate even saying this) to clean any blood away. I find myself constantly applying bacitracin ointment to avoid infection and concealer to hide the wounds I create, but I can't even seem to let them alone long enough to heal fully most of the time.

To hide the hairline wounds and thinning (usually at the beginning of my part), I generally switch my part from one side to the other as needed and then do a side sweep over them. I wish I could stop, but I think I would need to be able to let the flakiness I've also been coping with for a decade "just be" in order to work through breaking the obsession. Frankly, I can't even fathom success at that. Best of all would be for the dry spots to be resolved somehow (ugh, I've tried so many OTC/Rx scalp treatments and moisturizing face lotions to no avail), but I'm sure I would still fuss enough to find something miniscule to pick at even so. :( I started when I was about 11 or 12, so it's been about twelve years that I've done this shameful stuff.

[Mesmerise]

Poor thing, this is called dermatillomania, and I have precisely the same thing. I'm a n00b and I originally came here to learn more about taking care of my hair, but I realize that there are other health-related issues I should probably consider as well if I'm going to get the most benefit out of any routine intended to help my hair.

There are spots on the scalp at my hairline around my face that I've really damaged by picking away at it, to the point where my already fine/thin hair is even more sparse in the front. It's not just on my scalp either. Any dry spot of skin on my forehead, from brow level to scalp is fair game. I keep hydrogen peroxide and swabs on hand to clean the...(ugh, I hate even saying this) to clean any blood away. I find myself constantly applying bacitracin ointment to avoid infection and concealer to hide the wounds I create, but I can't even seem to let them alone long enough to heal fully most of the time.

To hide the hairline wounds and thinning (usually at the beginning of my part), I generally switch my part from one side to the other as needed and then do a side sweep over them. I wish I could stop, but I think I would need to be able to let the flakiness I've also been coping with for a decade "just be" in order to work through breaking the obsession. Frankly, I can't even fathom success at that. Best of all would be for the dry spots to be resolved somehow (ugh, I've tried so many OTC/Rx scalp treatments and moisturizing face lotions to no avail), but I'm sure I would still fuss enough to find something miniscule to pick at even so. :( I started when I was about 11 or 12, so it's been about twelve years that I've done this shameful stuff.

Hmm I wonder if this is why I also seem to have thinning hair around my hairline. I never really noticed it until the last few months (probably because I started obsessing more with my hair), but it occurred to me to wonder if all the years of picking have damaged my scalp to the point where in some areas hair won't grow! I notice that my hairline is often a point of focus for me, although I will really just run my fingers through my hair and any area with anything pickable just gets... picked.

I have had a few times where I've hurt myself to the point of my scalp swelling painfully, but thankfully it doesn't sound as bad as for many people (I Googled it!). I do worry that my hair will never be normal though because I've scarred my scalp over the years :(.

[akissandapunch]

Has anyone her tried using castor oil for regrowth after DTM/TTM? I'm thinking I'd like to try it, because if I/we had any hope of regrowing hair in the areas I/we've harmed, then maybe it might be easier to quit. But if it ends up being drying to the skin, it might lead to a whole new level of destruction, haha.

[akissandapunch]

Or breakouts as opposed to dryness. I can see that being a mess for some of us too.

[Arctic]

I too have trichotillomania, and am happy to see this thread has turned out so supportive and open! Mine was pretty mild through my teens, I can't even remember when it started. I do remember than my trigger then (as is now) were my coarse, wiry hairs. Back them I had fine, straight hair, and the coarser hairs were not numerous.

In my twenties, I did not still know there were others like me. I guess I was ready to face the habit anyway, because I was able to stop it completely. That lasted for about ten years.

Then during a very highly, longterm stressful times it started again. By this time I had already learned the name of this disorder. I can even remember the first time I started to do it again. I knew I should stop but I didn't. Gradually over next months it became more serious, and I pulled out so many hairs I had an almost bald spot at the crown.

It didn't help that during the years my hair type had changed from F to more like M/C, with lot of wiry, kinky hairs. Plenty of triggers. I was a LHC member then and payed so much attention to my hair that it was obsessive.

I joined online trichotillomania support groups and they helped a great deal. I also took long hiatus from LHC to took my mind away from my hair.

At this moment, it is so much better, but I still sometimes pull out hair, usually only one or two at the time. Hopefully I can once again completely stop the hair pulling, when I get a major stressor out of my life. (there always seems to be the next major stressor right behind the corner, doesn't it!)

When it was it's worse, I taped my fingertips or used cotton gloves. I learned hair care that made the coarse hairs as soft as possible. I use some finger toys too.
Trichotillomania is definitely stress based on me. I try to do my best to stay as stressfree, but it's not always possible or easy.

[wicked kisses]

I am to afraid of seeing a mental health anything. I am in the military and they freak out over any kind of mental anything for anybody. Knowing my luck they would just throw me out and think I am a looney.

I seriously suggest going to http://www.betterlivingwithhypnosis.net/ and looking into their 'Subliminal' group. Affordable and no one will know what you're listening to.
Suggest you pick one you think will help, and listen to it once or twice a day for three weeks solid. I have had good results with this.

Yes, I do it too. My focus tho is my eyebrows, but sometimes eyelashes, if they're feeling uncomfortable.

[Redbeetle36]

Eyelash puller here, always done this & some times are worse than others. The worst being that I pulled every single lash out once but I was suffering with depression. I tend to do it now if I'm feeling anxious about something, but I manage to stick to only pulling the bottom lashes, so I have a slight control over it which sounds wierd as it is an uncontrollable urge but somehow I can.

[emeraldfaery]

I've been hair pulling since sometime in 2007. I think it may have started because I stopped picking my face. I was so tired of the horrible picking sessions I would do at night, so I made a conscious effort to stop. I did. Now I don't even think about picking on my face. But I pull my hair. :( When I'm not thinking about it my hands will reach up and start trying to find abnormal hairs ("kinky" or coarse hairs). I can't seem to stop!

[Carissamarie08]

I'm surprised at how many of us there is on LHC!

[zsepthenne]

I had a bout of hair pulling at 10 that left me with a huge bald spot that freaked me so bad that I stopped. I've always picked or chewed my nails and cuticles until they bled. Annoying!
You could do private cash pay with a therapist. A lot of the LCSWs and non psychologists don't keep "official " records. My one therapist I adored told me her records on me would "disappear" when a confidentiality issue arose

[Humbug]

I can't offer any advice but seeing this thread reminded of a girl who I think is incredibly brave in her openness about her trichotillomania. Her YouTube channel is here: http://www.youtube.com/user/beckie0#g/u and she's done a video on trichotillomania itself here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiBIXMBEqgE. I don't know if this helps anyone at all but it really opened my eyes to something that I didn't even know existed. I have so much respect for everyone who has to cope with it.

[ingvild]

I remember another trich thread and I was also surprised at how many there were at LHC, Carissamarie.

Anyway, I (have) struggle(d) with this since I was 11. I didn't grow my hair longer than shoulder length because of it, but a few years ago I just decided that it was enough, and I didn't want to anymore. I kept a diary and I managed to go several months without pulling. :) I also got really into knitting which helps keep hands busy. If you have the opportunity, I can really recommend that- knitting or crocheting,or even finding something that's nice to hold. I really like the feel of chestnuts in my hand.

Now I don't pull so much, but yeah occasionally. What I do most now is touch my hair and "search out" the kinky hairs, but I don't pull them out. Thinking "this hair took several years to grow out.." seems to help me from pulling them out. I have also noticed that just feeling the texture of things is what I like. So I try to have something in my hands at most times.

I get triggered by stress and being upset.

[WaitingSoLong]

I have the eyelash version since age 10. Once in awhile, eyebrows but I never got bad with those. I also have DTM. (skin picking)

It is very embarassing.

It peaked about 6 years ago and at that point I sought treatment. I did not even know it had a name and, like so many, thought I was the only one and a freak/loser because of it.

I have lists of tactics I use to help me but I have yet to beat it. I take meds, but not for trich specifically (anxiety, also I have OCD, use to have depression), and of all the ones I have been on, NONE have ever helped my TTM. I have tried herbal, too, and the n-acetylcysteine. NADA.

However, I have made some huge progress (I don't binge anymore) through journaling to find my triggers (driving, reading- which I do a LOT and that includes reading posts on TLHC!, and watching TV.). I "came out" and confessed mysecret to my family back then, too. THAT was the hardest but single BEST thing I did because then I wasn't always striving to hide it. Finding out I was not alone helped. Two of my kids have different versions of it. Shaving my one son's head (took 2 times) did seem to cure him but the real cure was a stress issue finally resolved we didn't realize was an issue.

But here are some things that can help:

Spinner rings (http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B%5D=tags&q=spinner+rings), bandaids on fingers, painting spots on your nails to catch your attention when your hand goes to your face, gloves if possible, fake eyeglasses (I suppose hats or scarves for the regular kind), anything to keep hands busy like stress balls.

Also there is coloring and writing therapy where, when you catch yourself in ityou MAKE yourself write or color for 5 minutes. It is especially helpful if you write ABOUT trich. Saying out loud what you are doing when you catch yourself. A lot of this is to help you become aware of when you do it, so many of us do it without realizing it. There are other doctor prescribed therapies but I personally found them useless or counterproductive, like collecting and counting the pulled hairs.

I have mastered the "unaware part" but find that stopping once I start is so hard, best to not even feel the hair/lash/skin spot. Stress is definitely an issue but not always. And for the eyelash kind, crying is forbidden! Crying irritates the lids where the lashses are and promotes the sense of "needing" to pull.

I have a lot more tactics and some for skin picking, too. Hope this may help someone.

[robey]

Me mum had this problem, it is more habit than mental health related, try to put a rubber band on your wrist and flick it when you feel the urge to pull it may help

[WaitingSoLong]

Me mum had this problem, it is more habit than mental health related, try to put a rubber band on your wrist and flick it when you feel the urge to pull it may help

I quite agree with this. This tends to be an unpopular view, though, and I rather got into an argument once about it.Yet I see it as no different than nail biting. It is still self-mutilation. I have quit several bad habits that are similar, just not this one yet. Actually, it is one of two, the only two I have left to quit!

[Sushi144]

You got my sympathy, ladies...

Luckily I don't have this problem, but as I suffer quite much of anxiety, depression and some very light OCD, so I understand how you feel about.

A state of angst and/or low self-esteem can cause these kind of behavior ; personnaly I see an analyst and take pills, but maybe relaxing activities can be enough to help you dealing with it. Activities like tai chi, yoga, painting or theater might help, like anything which can bring you calm and help you to have control over your body.

I wish you good luck dealing with it !

[dwell_in_safety]

I've had this since I was 9, off and on. Until about three months ago for about the past 4-5 years it's been all on. One day I got so fed up with it that I just stopped, and I haven't pulled a hair since. I don't know how or why that happened because in the past I tried hard, so hard, to stop it, over and over, with little to no success.

I fully understand. It's always the thick, wiry, extremely curly hairs that I would/do pull. Just sitting around, watching a movie, reading a book... Terrible habit. I really don't know why I've abruptly stopped despite lack of success in the past.

[proo]

I always wonder about this behavior, if it could by turned toward S & D, or some other positive grooming habit like preening.

[HintOfMint]

I have the wiry-hair stroking version which replaced the plucking head-hair version, which replaced my original habit of scalp picking. An improvement?

For what it's worth, it is such a struggle to stop myself from plucking a particularly crinkly or wiry hair. Right now, I just run my fingers along them, but I'll admit, I'll pluck the really skinny crinkly ones (I figure since they're so thin, I'm not losing volume if they're gone). I also fantasize about taking a flat iron and just sizzling them flat. There are some that are so unbelievably coarse that I can't believe it grows out of my head! It feels like a spiny leaf!

The pulling is mostly under control, but every once in a while, one I'm stroking will just fall out or I'll pull by accident and I'll feel bad like I'm about to give myself a bald spot!

It's a stress and boredom thing, and perfect for that one free hand when I'm reading a heavy book on a desk or in my lap with a highlighter/pen. I should look into those little stress balls.

[robey]

I have the eyelash version since age 10. Once in awhile, eyebrows but I never got bad with those. I also have DTM. (skin picking)

It is very embarassing.

It peaked about 6 years ago and at that point I sought treatment. I did not even know it had a name and, like so many, thought I was the only one and a freak/loser because of it.

I have lists of tactics I use to help me but I have yet to beat it. I take meds, but not for trich specifically (anxiety, also I have OCD, use to have depression), and of all the ones I have been on, NONE have ever helped my TTM. I have tried herbal, too, and the n-acetylcysteine. NADA.

However, I have made some huge progress (I don't binge anymore) through journaling to find my triggers (driving, reading- which I do a LOT and that includes reading posts on TLHC!, and watching TV.). I "came out" and confessed mysecret to my family back then, too. THAT was the hardest but single BEST thing I did because then I wasn't always striving to hide it. Finding out I was not alone helped. Two of my kids have different versions of it. Shaving my one son's head (took 2 times) did seem to cure him but the real cure was a stress issue finally resolved we didn't realize was an issue.

But here are some things that can help:

Spinner rings (http://www.etsy.com/search?includes%5B%5D=tags&q=spinner+rings), bandaids on fingers, painting spots on your nails to catch your attention when your hand goes to your face, gloves if possible, fake eyeglasses (I suppose hats or scarves for the regular kind), anything to keep hands busy like stress balls.

Also there is coloring and writing therapy where, when you catch yourself in ityou MAKE yourself write or color for 5 minutes. It is especially helpful if you write ABOUT trich. Saying out loud what you are doing when you catch yourself. A lot of this is to help you become aware of when you do it, so many of us do it without realizing it. There are other doctor prescribed therapies but I personally found them useless or counterproductive, like collecting and counting the pulled hairs.

I have mastered the "unaware part" but find that stopping once I start is so hard, best to not even feel the hair/lash/skin spot. Stress is definitely an issue but not always. And for the eyelash kind, crying is forbidden! Crying irritates the lids where the lashses are and promotes the sense of "needing" to pull.

I have a lot more tactics and some for skin picking, too. Hope this may help someone.
Have you thought about crochet or knitting, it helped with my smoking habit even when chewing gum didn't, my hands needed something to do:)
I very much hope you can get though it and I believe you can, it takes support as with any vice and people to encourage you:)

It does not make you a "freak/loser" and please never feel like your less than you are for it, everyone is different and everyone has their own habits good and bad.

I have bad anxiety also so welcome to the party, your not alone:blossom:

[Carissamarie08]

Just wanted to say I haven't pulled in 3 days. I guess it is a start?

[goldenmoments]

Just wanted to say I haven't pulled in 3 days. I guess it is a start?

That's wonderful. I'm sending you a hug

[Sushi144]

Excellent start ! :grouphug:

[Cloelia]

Carissamarie08, that's a great start! One day at a time...

It is interesting how many of us trichs (or former trichs) wound up here. For me growing my hair gives me a compelling reason not to pull when i have the urge. I'll find a wiry baby hair at my part, and think "Nope, not if I want to ever get to waist."

[PixxieStix]

Just wanted to say I haven't pulled in 3 days. I guess it is a start?

Yes, it is, one of my favorite sayings has always been "A journey of 10,000 miles begins with a single step." One day at a time is all you can do. Congrats! :cheese:

[Carissamarie08]

I failed miserably... Starting over now.... This is so hard. :(

[emeraldfaery]

Don't give up!! :grouphug: I've been pretty good the last few days only pulling a few hairs. Mostly I've been stroking the ones that I want to pull out. It helps me to keep in mind my hair goals and tell myself that every hair I pull sets me back some. Not putting myself in trigger situations has also helped. I usually pull while watching TV, but if I focus on something else like coloring (I know sounds babyish) or writing I keep my hands and my mind busy.

[Sushi144]

You didn't do it for a few days, that's already a good point. If you stretch the pulling, it may disappear little by little.

[LaDollyvita33]

I'm really so sorry you go through this! I myself, don't have this and I don't personally know anyone who goes through it, but I'm very sympathetic and I can imagine how painful it is.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that everything changes and goes your way for the better.

[Dark Rapunzel]

I used to pull my hair out strand by strand in class. It was sort of like a tick, because I got angry at myself and was able to stop but now I pick at the dry skin on my lips =(
You have to train yourself. I stopped eventually, but it was tough.

[kitschy]

One thing that helped keep my hands occupied is I have a lap kitty. So whenever I am sitting watching TV, or reading, my cat comes and sits in my lap and I pet and stroke him. I get the silky feeling of hair without finding wiry ones to pluck. It seems to work well for me, and so does crocheting.

Another thing that helped me was when I started the curly-girl method and let my hair clump without combing or brushing. It makes it harder to pluck hair when they are formed into a larger clump than when they are single.

[SolSara]

I failed miserably... Starting over now.... This is so hard. :(

I'm a bad skin picker, so I know what you go through. I have yet to not pick for 36h. :rolleyes: I just wanted to say that what helps me is to not think about it as "starting over" everytime I do it. Instead every single time I DON'T pick is a success. Doing it once or twice or a whole week still doesn't mean that I'm back at zero, because I did have that day/days when I didn't pick! Three days is great job! Now you know you CAN do three days without it!

For me triggers is very crucial, and since a huge one is anxiety I am still on figuring out better ways to deal with it. Always feeling something with my hands is too very helpful. I might need myself a kitty. :)

[emeraldfaery]

I'm a bad skin picker, so I know what you go through. I have yet to not pick for 36h. :rolleyes: I just wanted to say that what helps me is to not think about it as "starting over" everytime I do it. Instead every single time I DON'T pick is a success. Doing it once or twice or a whole week still doesn't mean that I'm back at zero, because I did have that day/days when I didn't pick! Three days is great job! Now you know you CAN do three days without it!

For me triggers is very crucial, and since a huge one is anxiety I am still on figuring out better ways to deal with it. Always feeling something with my hands is too very helpful. I might need myself a kitty. :)

I totally agree with that! I also don't think of pulling a few strands as a failure. I'm happy that it is less than usual and I'm making progress!

[Velvet Dreamer]

I think I'm gradually beginning to do this less and less. As long as I can keep my hands occupied, which usually isn't too hard, since I'm a gamer and I like to sew, I'm good, but when I'm reading or doing homework, man. HAIR, HAIR EVERYWHERE.

[Carissamarie08]

I am so over this! It is a life ruiner.

[Carissamarie08]

Ok so tonight I realized that saying "I will never pull again" is just not going to work for me.....yet. so now I am going to try something new. I am going to set mini goals for myself. Right at this moment I am setting a week goal of no pulling.

[dwell_in_safety]

Mini-goals got me through quitting self-injury when I was younger. Sometimes, it came down to, "Not during this fifteen minutes." It was hard, but in the end it worked really well. I still want to pull my hair out sometimes. Keeping it up all the time helps.

[Bagginslover]

Wow, I had no idea this was an actual disorder!

I too seek out the thick, wiry, crinkly hairs and pluck them out, I just hate them, and they stand out so much against my otherwise very straight hair.

I will have to try to put up with them and leave them where they are from now on.

[SolSara]

This can be a disorder, but not everyone that plucks some weird strands now and then have it. :) And like all psychiatric disorders, remember that it is descriptive, it is just a set number of behaviors that are grouped together under a name so it can be called something while treating it. They are not even sure which category it should belong to (right now I think it is called an impulsive disorder?)

[Bagginslover]

I do suffer from depression and mild OCD, so I wouldn't be surprised if I do have this to some extent. I plan to experiment with wearing my hair up more often to aid growth, hopefully this will stop me pulling it ;)
I'm glad I read this now, as I start trying to grow my hair, I'd never even considered how long it takes for the hairs I'm pulling to get to the length they are when I pull them. My hair seems to grow fairly fast, but it still represents months of growth in those little crinklies!

[emeraldfaery]

Had a bad past few days. :( Pulled quite a bit. It's amazing how stress can totally gloss over my goals and make me not able to control myself. I knew while I was doing it that I shouldn't be, but even that didn't stop me.

[Carissamarie08]

Yeah, if I am upset about something thats when it really gets bad.

[same_as]

I startd doing this the year before last. I made myself stop early to mid last year however. I would have to change my parts a lot because the front of them got so sparse. It was mostly in school that it happened, especially in cetain classes. I would have my elbows in the desk with hands in the front of my hair all the time. I wouldn't consciously pull hair out, however I'd be heavily picking at my scalp and constantly running my hands through it very forcefully, and tons of hair would fall out. Only at the front though, just above my hairline. Lots of hair fell out from that area even when I wasn't pulling or picking though, I think it had a lot to do wih stress. I believe it was linked to cetain emotions/things that were happening at the time. I also pulled hair out of my eyelashes and brows all the time, which hurt a lot more because I wouldn't stop until the particular hair I'd chosen was pulled out. I'd only briefly read about Trichotillomania when doing some internet searches early this month (related to an issue with thin hair at the front of my hairline I've noticed recently), but didn't connect it to my own behaivior. Since reading through this thread though I'm confident that this is the issue that I struggled with. My sympathy is with those who still experience it, I know how bad it feels.

[Mesmerise]

I was actually getting REALLY GOOD and hadn't picked much in ages but... I recently started again :confused:. I think it's probably due to the stress I'm under at the moment, but I just keep finding my head reaching for my scalp!! ARGH!

I am going to have to consciously work at this again, and keep my darn hands occupied. I've had a lot of shedding over the past couple of months, and I think the shedding seems to have slowed (fingers crossed) so I really don't need to start picking again... which will just cause more hairs to come out!!

[Carissamarie08]

Just checking in to see how everyones doing, haven't been on in awhile. Trying to keep my hands out of my hair but its not getting any easier on me!

[Cara Heather]

I checked for a thread on this... I didn't find 1. I am glad u posted :)
I was 13 or 14 when I started. Only DH knows and doesn't even know the extent of it. Glad there is others who understand.

[Carissamarie08]

Yeah my boyfriend is the only one who knows in RL. My parents thought I was going through some weird phase in highschool and never understood it was a real problem...they decided to punish me for it by taking things away from me until I stopped....I never stopped...I just told them I did so they wouldn't do that to me anymore. Now that I no longer live with them they have no idea what's going on with this anymore.

[Cara Heather]

My mom never knew since I always played with my hair. As a teen, I lived with my dad and he wouldn't notice that sort of thing anyhow.

[stew]

I have it too..

I used to have thick, slightly wavy, shiny, beautiful waist length hair, and I cut it all off in a panic when my hair started thinning.. Since it was short and thin anyways, I did all sorts of horrible things to it.. I even bleached it once (my hair is naturally almost black). I've been trying to regrow it for 5 years but keep having setbacks.

Having long hair again would be a triumphant victory over the disorder that has taken over my life. Posting on this forum motivates me to fight it harder... seeing everyone with beautiful tailbone length hair is very inspiring. The way people baby their hair like it's a living thing makes me less inclined to rip it all out. It's like killing a baby!

At least, I'm hoping that thought will help..

[Carissamarie08]

Well just know your not alone. :)

[Iolanthe13]

I feel so bad for all of you. I have a similar problem, but with the dry skin on my cuticles. Considering how bad my thumbs look right now, I can only shudder to imagine the same problem, but with hair-pulling :(

[midsummernight]

I read though the whole thread and I see that a lot of people pull out the wiry curly hairs. Do you think that this might be caused because of a chemical imbalance then? For most people with trichotillotillomania, get it around 9-13, so some changes in hormones during puberty might have caused this. I dont know for sure. This is just a theory that I had in my mind for some time.

For me trichotillomania started when I was 13. It started because my hair texture changed from wurly to coarse curly kinkyish hair and I was constantly touching it because it was making me feel awkward. This led to me slowly pulling out the hair. My family knows this because they saw me do this all the time. I still didnt stop it. For years it wasnt bad probably because I had really really thick hair to begin with and pulling out hair didnt seem to make much of a difference. But now I can see lots of bald spots on my scalp. Plus I am in college and there is much more stress in my life than before.

This is also why I decided to join LHC. I wanted to regrow my hair. I know that my hair can grow back if I let it. I have tiny growths at some spots.

I also want to share some tricks that can temporarily stop making me pull my hair. One is cold shower. I dont know why but it helps me. I went online looking natural remedies for anxiety and depression (yeah I have that too), when I found that cold showers can help with depression (earthclinic.com). I tried that one day and I found that I didnt feel like pulling my hair for a long time. But when bad stress from exams came I went back to pulling again. But I definitely see a difference in my hair pulling now that I take cold showers.

Another thing that I noticed that gives me a temporary relief from hair pulling is menthol. I noticed this when I first used a dandruff shampoo with menthol in it. I gives a cooling sensation to the scalp. I also tried a herbal oil with menthol in and it gave me similar effects. I love the cooling tingling feeling. I found out that menthol is part of peppermint essential oil, so I bought peppermint EO and add a few drops to almond oil and massage my scalp with it.
I even posted a thread scalp cooling products but I didnt explain that it was for my hair pulling.

I hope some my tricks works for you guys. But I dont know if these will work for other people. None of these even work 100 percent for me. I still pull when I get too stressed out.

[ladyshep]

My daughter pulls out her eyelashes. In 1st grade she completely tore all of them out practically. She's in 2nd grade now and she grew back all of her thick eyelashes and tries to snap a silly band on her wrist to stop herself.

Maybe yall could try silly bands?? I know it looks dorky on an adult, but who cares right? lol :idea::silly:

[PixxieStix]

Hey everyone. :)

Well, I've been pretty good lately, a few months ago I had a week where every day I was pulling out a few eyelashes and it accumulated to nearly all my upper lashes on one eye and half on the other. >.< I lost a few scalp hairs earlier this month due to stress, etc., but the worst is behind me and I have to remind myself that a few years ago, I would have pulled it all out, so definite progress has been made! Hope everyone else is doing alright with school finals coming up soon, etc. We can all do this!

[sashinka22]

:grouphug: hugs for everyone!
i have the same thing with my skin, especially the lips, especially at winter when i have dry skin. i hurt myself, leave ugly scars, it relaxes me for a while then i feel really bad i've done it. i'm doing it for hours bc without it i feel empty, bored, unsatisfied, until i "smooth" all of the dry areas, it all red, cracking and bleeding, but next day the same thing happen, over and over again. my bf can taste the blood when he kisses me and i feel ashamed badly. blaahh.

you can do it! me also..

[CitznMag]

I don't have this but I have Dermatillomania. I pick my skin (lips mostly) instead. One thing that helped was to question what I was getting out of doing this. I picked because I was either anxious, bored, tense, insecure or all of the above. At the moment I was picking, it helped to relieve the anxiety. Once I came to this realization, it was easy (sometimes) to find something else to do to quell the anxiety like taking a walk, doing something else with my hands (knitting, writing, typing, cleaning).

I'm not totally cured of it, but I find myself doing it rarely. On those rare occasions, I try to address the source of my anxiety, find something else to relieve the tension and most importantly, forgive myself. My lips are now completely healed (prior to this they were constantly red, split and sore).

So be honest with yourself and ask yourself what are you getting out of it.

:)
Maggie

[sashinka22]

I don't have this but I have Dermatillomania. I pick my skin (lips mostly) instead. One thing that helped was to question what I was getting out of doing this. I picked because I was either anxious, bored, tense, insecure or all of the above. At the moment I was picking, it helped to relieve the anxiety. Once I came to this realization, it was easy (sometimes) to find something else to do to quell the anxiety like taking a walk, doing something else with my hands (knitting, writing, typing, cleaning).

I'm not totally cured of it, but I find myself doing it rarely. On those rare occasions, I try to address the source of my anxiety, find something else to relieve the tension and most importantly, forgive myself. My lips are now completely healed (prior to this they were constantly red, split and sore).

So be honest with yourself and ask yourself what are you getting out of it.

:)
Maggie


exactly like my issue...
i found that some lip balm is helping temporary, preventing me from trying to pick it..

[BlazingHeart]

I probably have a touch of TTM and a touch of DTM. I definitely have mild OCD and bipolar, those have been diagnosed. It also shows up in this habit of repeatedly doing joint-stressing motions, which probably wouldn't be a big deal except I have a connective tissue disorder. I also have extraordinarily sensitive skin.

I can't leave skin issues alone. Flakes, zits, scabs...ugh. I will also get to feeling like my eyelashes or eyebrows are irritated and have to tug on the hair. Usually a few come out pretty easily and the itching goes down. This may have all started when I got Lyme Disease, but we can't pin down a date for that so it is hard to stay.

I had a terrible time with learning not to bite my nails, probably related. I still have to put a band aid or medical tape on when I break nails, or I end up picking and biting them again. And I am completely incapable of leaving nails alone when they are rough or broken.

I did find a fidget 'toy' that is helpful, called a tangle. You can get them here http://www.tanglecreations.com/categories.php?ID=4. You can pull and twist them. When I am stressed out, my Tangle saves me a lot of trouble.

[kittengirl]

I don't pull out hair but I do skin picking. My thing is though that I peel skin off the bottoms of my feet so I'm not sure if that's related at all? Sometimes I peel so much they bleed and I have darker red scarring up the sides of my feet too. It is horrible because people ask what it is and insist on knowing and then when I tell them they freak out. I am currently trying to stop though because it worries my fiance a lot. I've told myself that if I let them heal completely (I've done this on and off for years) that I'll buy a nice anklet or something as a reward. We'll see how it works. I just thought if this because I don't know if my problem is related to hair pulling or not? Does anyone else do this?

[Becky9679]

I don't have this but I once lived with someone who did. Hers appeared to be stress induced (we were in university at the time and she would usually do it whilst studying) and she would always do it in exactly the same place - she'd run her fingers through her hair over her left ear and then get a handful of hair behind her ear and yank hard on it. I saw her do this a whole bunch of times (after she explained to me what was wrong I would tell her when I noticed and she'd be able to stop for a while, I guess it was an unconscious thing). She actually had a large bald spot that didn't grow back because of this and the areas next to it were very thin and always at various stages of regrowth. She also self-harmed by cutting and suffered from depression.

I never realised that nail-biting and cuticle picking were connected with this but my husband does both of those. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be but there were times when the cuticles on all of his fingers would be raw and bloody. He also used to mouth-pick - he'd kind of chew on the skin on the inside of his mouth and then pull bits out. He hasn't done that for years and years though.

:grouphug: to everyone going through this

[terpentyna]

I have this on and off with eyebrows. I grab at the base of my neck too, it's so terribly painless there and it seems like it would feel sooo great... My skin stretches there though and I usually sit there with my stretched out skin pulling at a small bundle of hair not moving either forwards or backwards with it. My eyebrows are thick, so they generally don't show. I actually believe it's worse when I'm bored rather than stressed. I don't have it bad though.

[AlabasterAlice]

My husband does skin picking, and he plucks out "out of place" body hairs. For him, he gets in a mindset where he just hyper focuses on plucking and picking and doesn't pay any mind to anything else. In the weirdest of ways it's almost like he's meditating or something. It is very hard to make him stop, and he'll do it at odd times too. The only thing I can manage to do is put band aids on the bloody spots he creates and give him a hug. He can't seem to help it. I'm very sorry that you have this problem. I will be watching this thread and sending kind thoughts to you. :flower:

Edit:
I also bite at my lips. Sometimes they bleed a bit, and I'll stop, but I really just hate having dead skin on them. It may be a problem, but as long as the dead skin isn't there (yay lip balm) I don't do it.

[MirrorOfErised]

This is the thread that inspired me to join Long Hair Community!

It's such a relief to know that there are other people dealing with this. Mine started when I was a teenager (although when I was a kid I was also an eyelash puller) and I would search out the wiry, short hairs....searching through my hair for them and sometimes I would keep them too so I could feel how wierd they were.

The hair on my crown got so thin and to this day (I'm 28) my scalp is painful to touch there. I still have bouts but it has moved to the hair that frames my face now (also getting thin....). I pick at the skin on my scalp and generally feel horrible about the whole thing.

I have loved reading everyone's stories. I just want my hair and scalp to get healthy.

[Carissamarie08]

trying to keep my hands out of my hair is hard! especially the longer it gets! but I really dont want to cut it...my hair is still thick so you cannot tell....but ugh....its annoying.

[Clem_Dela]

the worst is when i braid my hair, but shorter hairs of various lengths fall out of the braid... not in strands, single hairs begging to be plucked!!!!....ugh...

[Carissamarie08]

Yep I have a field of shorties sticking out at the top of my head. But I mostly pull from the bottom of my head underneath my hair by my neck... I've been doing it since I was 14...

[Submerina]

I don't have anything that will help, but am adding my story to the pot for support:

My trich was first brought to my attention when I was 9 (going on 36 now), when my mom noticed my bald spot. The only thing that did, was teach me to be more "sneaky" about it, so I added in eyebrows, eyelashes and eventually pubic.

One night when I was 20, I plucked my brows 'til they were nearly gone. I have scarring and permanent raised bumps on my "lady area" from the damage I've done to the follicles there. I'll go through patches where I have no lashes on my lower lids and am currently working on a nice little bald spot near my right temple. A lot of my hair has been so weakened by this (I'm looking at you, bangs) that I don't even have to exert any real pressure for the hair to come loose. Awesome.

"Yes" to anxiety, depression and OCP. I've been treated with all sorts of medications and therapies (including keeping my idle hands busy - they have a mind of their own!), but it is so ingrained I think the only therapy that would work would be to have my hands permanently taped for several weeks (months?) under strict watch until I unlearned the behaviour.

Weaning my hair down to 2 washes/week (max), always with ACV, has helped a bit. Growing out my hair has been huge motivation to watch what I'm doing, but I go through bad patches when the need to pull outweighs the need to have mermaid hair. Going grey makes it worse - those coarse, wiry greys are soooo tempting. Pulling makes it _even worse_, as the hairs grow back damaged and twisted all to hell.

ARGH! It's a vicious cycle!

(This is the thread that got me to join LHC too!)

[Lici1209]

I have had trichotillomania for the past 10 years. I focus more on my eyelashes than anywhere else. Do you tend to do it when you are stressed? Avoid stressors or when you are stressing, keep conscious of it. I tend to do it when I'm very calm (reading or watching a show) then I go into a "trance" of sorts. I've gotten better over the years, slooowlly, but trying to remain conscious of it so it doesn't sneak up on me. But again, mine is when I'm calm, so it's probably different.

[barely.there]

when I was a teen, I had a friend who did this during period of extreme anxiety. Once she pulled out 3/4 of one of her eyelashes. She had very thick hair, so if she was ever pulling out her hair, i couldnt tell.

Seek to balance your life and work through your forgiveness towards others (aka getting rid of the "chip(s)" on your shoulder"). It is the most important thing. I did that this past year, and I feel brand new again :)

ETA: My friend seemed to always have a chip on her shoulder. So thats why I bring it up.

[Narya]

How can I have missed this thread for so long? I know there was another thread for trichotillomania support, but must have been long lost on the graveyard of old threads, or something.

Anyway, I also suffer from trichs. The first time I remember something about it, was when my 1st grade teacher called my mom to tell her I was pulling out hairs in class, that maybe I had lice. My mom also suffers from it, and when there was no trace of lice. I don't remember how and what she told me, but it did not work. I also remember my mom asking me to please check her "bad spot" (which we later discovered it's the same as mine, top of the crown) to see if there was new growth. It didn't get really bad until I the summer just before turning 19: I had just gone through one of the worst years of my life, which included surgery, a bad break up, and major depression that still went on, and had to find a summer job to keep studying. I did, at a hotel. It was so stressful and hard, physically and mentally, on me that I ended up with a bald spot, around an inch wide, right on the crown of my head. Since then, it's been on all the time, sometimes milder, sometimes very hard to control and going back to bald spots. Stress, coarse wiry hairs, depression... are my triggers. Since finding LHC, I've managed to cut back a bit, but my eyebrows and eyelashes have started suffering the abuse, too. I also pick my scalp and face, and sometimes arms and legs.

How to help get rid of it? I don't know. I believe that, in my case, there might be something genetic and something of an imitative behavior, as well as some OCD tendencies: the fact that I share the TTM with my mom, that she is really OCD about certain little things, that my little sister seems to start with TTM now and that my middle sister can't help but pick at her face (not as much as me, though) and bite her nails... Well, we're quite a picture.

I've promised myself than, after my baby is born this May, I will pluck no more. I don't want to pass such a behavior to my kids, I don't want them to see it and think that it is right (as I know I did when I saw my mom). Until them, I'm trying to stop also, but not being too harsh on me when I fall back on it. I know I need an extra push to be able to quit completely, and hope baby will be it.

I wish you all suffering from it or similar things the best of luck stopping. One step at a time, and something that reminds us why we're trying to stop, are the keys to it, I think. We'll develop our willpower fighting it!

[Carissamarie08]

Thanks! I have a hair goal also, when I move to Hawaii stop! Only less the. 2 months away! Actually I'd love to stop now but the stress I have about this move is seriously preventing me.

[Dragon Faery]

Oh wow, I just lumped all my various behaviors under OCD before reading this thread!

I don't pull my hairs, thank God. But I pick at my scalp if it gets flaky, and end up with oozing red sores that, of course, flake more... I catch myself doing this only when it starts to hurt, as I'm distracted reading or watching TV or ... Uh ... Anything, really. I'm trying to turn that one into a scalp massaging habit instead, as that's a "good" behavior. I'm obsessed enough with my hair that this kind of works.

I also pick at my lips. I have since I was little. My mom would tell me not to, so I'd just wait until she wasn't looking. And no matter how much balm I use, they are ALWAYS dry. Unless I do a complicated 3-step routine of getting them wet, letting the water soak in, applying oil, letting that soak in, applying shea butter, letting THAT soak in, and putting Aquaphor over the top to seal it all in. Ok, that's more than 3 steps, but ... It's good until the next time I eat or take a drink. The only way I can keep my lips nice is to do all that and be on a liquid diet and only drink through a straw. Otherwise they're dry again and I'm back to picking till they bleed.

In high school and college I would pick at the spots on my face. I would kind of go into a trance doing this, with my face right up against the mirror (as I'm incredibly nearsighted), and I wouldn't realize what I'd done until my face looked like a slab of raw meat. I couldn't cover it up with makeup; it was too widespread and too painful. So I considered the visible damage my "punishment". Masochistic, I know. Thanks to my DH noticing when I start to do this, and hugging me till I stop and "snap out of it", I've made decent progress on that one. It also helps now that I don't have a mirror I can reach with my glasses off. :p

I'm actually surprised I never got into cutting.

When I was little I had a very longsuffering cat, and I would pull out her bits of dandruff, one by one. She let me, but my mom really got after me for it. (Poor kitty. :( I would never do that to a cat now.)

I also pick at my cuticles, and the fingerpads just below the nail. I have always done this subconsciously, whenever my mind wanders. I used to be drifting off to sleep and suddenly realize I had a bleeding finger. In school, when class was boring, I'd use my mechanical pencil (I was obsessed with those) to clean under my fingernails. When all the gunk was gone, I'd keep going and end up with a gray line underneath that looked just like dirt. Occasionally I'd accidentally stab myself under the nail and get the lead stuck.

Uh, yeah. Blood doesn't bother me too much.

I also pick at any dry spots on my hands or feet. When I was in gymnastics, I would get athlete's foot sometimes, or else just dry feet. Any dry patch immediately got picked at and peeled. And if I pulled one direction (towards the toes, I think) it would come off nice and clean. But if I pulled in the opposite direction, it would pull down deeper and deeper until it bled. I learned to cut or tear the piece off first, but then it would catch on my socks or the carpet and try to bleed anyway.

Yucky, I know.

I liked what someone had to say about just needing to feel a texture with her hands. I think I'm going to try this. I'm very touchy-feely.

You guys are awesome, and we're all in this together. Hugs to everyone, and thank you for being so open, and giving the rest of us the courage to do the same. :)

[midsummernight]

This month has been horrible for me. I have been pulling like crazy because of stress from school. But these past few days I have put on a sleep cap I bought from sallys while studying. It has been helping so far. Just thought I would share this.

[Cocoa_Crema]

I am to afraid of seeing a mental health anything. I am in the military and they freak out over any kind of mental anything for anybody. Knowing my luck they would just throw me out and think I am a looney.

Trich is a common OCD. You would think that if you saw a psychologist or a doctor, the information you've shared would stay private? I could be wrong. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

I had a terrible habit of scratching my scalp until it bleeds. Looking back something like dermatitis was irritating my scalp. I would then would pick the scabs. It's embarrassing talking about it, but I no longer do it. I started in my early adolescence and hid it from EVERYONE. I'd be so paranoid if a boyfriend would rub my head, getting a haircut, or even a massage. It was a dark secret that I couldn't share. I too would do it if I was bored, spaced out, or very stressed.

I wish I sought help and guidance sooner. It's good now not be trapped by it. I feel SO much relief that my boyfriend can rub my head without me cringing.

[ShelleyJane]

I had this from age 9... I finally started growing my hair because I finally *stopped*.

I was one of those people who pulled like, 70 hairs a day. I couldn't wear my hair in a ponytail because literally, the top layer hid the fact that there was humungous bald spots behind each ear.

I finally stopped... I found a hypnotherapist who was able to cure it... and I will say, on super bad days, I still catch myself pulling... but maybe just one or two. WAY better than 70!!

I feel free for the first time in my life. I had tried everything and nothing worked til I met this therapist. Even the doctor's medications.... it's like my brain would just learn how to "go around" them. And I was constantly in a bad mood from changing meds.

So if anyone is considering hypnosis to be rid of this.... Go for it. I literally cried, the day I realized I no longer had the urges.

[lilliemer]

I have a spin on trichotillomania; I pick apart split ends and have been doing so since the age of twelve or so. I go searching for the split ends in my hair and pull them apart. I thought I was just damaging the length of my hair until this evening, I went to look in the mirror at the back of my head (to see if it had grown any from the previous hour, of course) and I am now seeing bits of scalp especially at the crown. There is a patch of "bad" hair there that is prone to split ends and I always exert considerable force on it to bring it to the front of my head so I can see the end of the hair. In the course of pulling on my hair to search for the split ends, I must be pulling parts out from the crown although I am not setting out to pull, exactly.

Since joining LHC (not that long ago) I've been trying to replace the picking apart of my splits with S&D in the thought that this will be a somewhat less destructive compulsion. Now that I see the thinning spots it is apparent how much damage I have been doing. But beating myself up mentally about the physical consequences of the damage probably won't help either. I have just started reading The Power of Habit which talks about habit loops, how to form them and how to change them. If I get any good info from the book I will post here too.

Dragon Faery, I am the same way with my cuticles and toes and lips too. I definitely like the textural feeling of playing with the hair and nails. Have you found any textures that are a good substitute yet?

And, for those of you who have had bald or thin spots...Does the hair grow back?? I am freaking out that this patch is permanent :eek:

[Clem_Dela]

And, for those of you who have had bald or thin spots...Does the hair grow back?? I am freaking out that this patch is permanent :eek:

Mine grew back but it grows back different, at least for me; all odd and wiry and springy. I have coarse hair in the first place though.

[Dragon Faery]

Dragon Faery, I am the same way with my cuticles and toes and lips too. I definitely like the textural feeling of playing with the hair and nails. Have you found any textures that are a good substitute yet?

And, for those of you who have had bald or thin spots...Does the hair grow back?? I am freaking out that this patch is permanent :eek:

I haven't found a good replacement yet, but I will report back if I do! I've noticed I play with the ends of my braids a lot, too.

For thin/bald patches: I haven't experienced it myself, but it's possible castor oil massages could help. Check out the "castor oil for hair growth" thread if you're interested. :)

[ingvild]

Mine grew back but it grows back different, at least for me; all odd and wiry and springy. I have coarse hair in the first place though.

This, mine too. My new hair is very wiry and some of them are quite brittle. But I also have coarse hair. Also, my pulling was worst when I hit puberty and my hair texture changed a bit anyway. I'm not entirely sure. It's a bad circle though, because I'm more like to pull out my new, wiry hairs. Not all of them get to grow out, I'm afraid. :(


..
I haven't been doing too well with my trich lately, but just trying to be aware. midsummernight, I've taken to wear a hat while studying too, because it's then I am the worst! It works, thankfully.

[Carissamarie08]

Doing terrible this month... Feeling really bad about it:(

[PixxieStix]

And, for those of you who have had bald or thin spots...Does the hair grow back?? I am freaking out that this patch is permanent :eek:

For me at least, yes, the hair has grown back. Granted, it has grown back darker, more wiry and coarse, and the last major area I pulled still hasn't finished filling in yet, my crown (which I plucked anywhere from bald patches to full out bald for about 15 years) hair is thinner than the rest of my head. It is slooooowly filling in, and I'm working with regular scalp massages with either Rosemary diluted with jojoba or Monistat to see if that helps speed up the process. I hope that in several years time not only will the thin area fill out, but that the hair will grow the length of the rest of my hair too!

[PixxieStix]

Doing terrible this month... Feeling really bad about it:(

It isn't something to feel ashamed of, we all have our bad and good months/days/weeks/years. :grouphug: Is there something going on that is triggering for you?

[Carissamarie08]

I'm moving from Alaska to Hawaii in 28 days which is stressing me out and triggering it.

[heidi w.]

I wonder if it's a kind of boredom where the hands have nothing to occupy. I wonder if knitting or crocheting or something along those lines could help? Give your hands an occupation, so to speak?

Cuz you can't pull hair if your hands are otherwise occupied.

Maybe an idea? Knit or crochet while watching TV for example....
heidi w.

[Narya]

Be strong, Carissamarie! It's normal that stress triggers you, don't beat yourself too much and think that it'll be over soon. :grouphug:

That is one of the things that helps, hedi w., at least for me. I don't knit or crochet, but I write or draw or type or just do anything with my hands... and while I'm at it, I don't pull. Unless it's a very stressful period and then suddenly I am aware that I've been pulling for away without noticing I stopped doing what I was doing before. The problem, for me at least, is the unconscious part of it: I can't stop the behavior until I'm aware of it, and many times I'm not. With time and attention it gets better, and your suggestion can certainly help, IMO.

[Dragon Faery]

It's okay, carissamarie. You'll get through it. :grouphug:

I forgot to mention before that one thing which helped me stop picking at my face as much was painting my nails. I hate the feeling of nail polish, and I'm not used to the color, so the two combined keep me more aware of what my hands are doing. I also kept my nails clipped extra short, which was a bit painful until I got used to it. But it temporarily eliminated all skin picking. So while I still struggle with it, it's not quite as compulsive now.

[lilliemer]

Mine grew back but it grows back different, at least for me; all odd and wiry and springy. I have coarse hair in the first place though.
Thanks to everyone who responded to my question. (I wasn't sure how to quote everyone all at once). This is somewhat reassuring. I am now 7 days without pulling/splitting my ends although I did some prolonged s&d a couple times. For me the s&d is helping with the compulsion to do something with my hair. Hopefully the progress will continue. Sending lots of good wishes to everyone who is trying to beat this, I hesitate to call it a habit because it is something much more.

[Carissamarie08]

Congrats lilliemer on making it 7 days pull free!

[Maraz]

I developed this when I was about 13, and kept on doing it until I was 20. My friend had lovely long hair and I wanted mine long, too, without bald spots! She used to slap my hand when she saw me doing it.

Stress will still trigger the urge, and I have a simple rule that I almost always follow. Any hair below the neck is fair game. Ouch! It's self limiting, all those hairs sting a bit when you pull them.

Once in a long while I'll find myself pulling on hairs at the top of my head, but it's been years since I yanked more than one or two without stopping myself.

I'm not really surprised at how many people have this, actually. It's a very stressful world we live in (maybe we're just a stressed species that creates stressed societies). Animals in pens pull their fur out all the time, should we be surprised that we do the same?

[Changling]

I have autism, so anything else I have (Obsessive Compulsions, depression, social anxiety, etc) don't "count" (it all falls under autism apparently... whatever). I have a number of what my psychiatrists have called obsessive compulsions, such as scalp picking, nail-biting, cuticle-biting, lip-biting, and like...scritching the pads of my fingers. huh. I have a "balance" issue which complicates things, too (like if I scritch one side of my head...I have to do the other side too).

I used to sometimes wonder why my scalp would sting when I shampooed, and there would be funny flaky dry spots on it...until I was like 22, when I suddenly realized I'd been scratching my scalp until it bled for my entire life!! That was weird. A few months ago I worried that it might negatively affect hair growth, and with some concentration, I turned scritching into scalp massaging. It wasn't too hard, but I had had practice.

I used to have to maintain balance on my body, especially my hands. If my index finger on my right hand touched something cold, my index finger on my left hand had to touch it, too. Sometimes I would scritch the pad of my index finger...then my middle finger...then my ring finger, until I did them all, then the other hand, then sometimes both hands all over again! It started to irritate me that I had to do it, it looked weird and people didn't know what to think when they saw.

I started intentionally doing things un-balanced. First I got just one eyebrow pierced. That was pretty good. THEN I started wearing a ring, only on my right ring finger. That was way better, I got used to feeling unbalanced and that helped. I started noticing every little thing I was doing to "balance" myself, and I would intentionally NOT do that! And even sometimes intentionally do unbalanced things (like chew on only one side of my mouth). Finally I saw someone for my autism and he said I was doing exactly the right thing, you are always supposed to fight the compulsions or they can get worse and worse.

Just trying to stop is the right thing to do! It doesn't matter if you are still pulling, as long as you are trying to stop pulling. Work at it every day and don't beat yourself up when you fail. I have successfully stopped nail-biting, scalp-scritching, and balancing this way, now I'm trying to stop lip- and cuticle-biting! We can do it if we try hard and believe in ourselves. :grouphug:

[Dragon Faery]

I have autism, so anything else I have (Obsessive Compulsions, depression, social anxiety, etc) don't "count" (it all falls under autism apparently... whatever). I have a number of what my psychiatrists have called obsessive compulsions, such as scalp picking, nail-biting, cuticle-biting, lip-biting, and like...scritching the pads of my fingers. huh. I have a "balance" issue which complicates things, too (like if I scritch one side of my head...I have to do the other side too).

I used to sometimes wonder why my scalp would sting when I shampooed, and there would be funny flaky dry spots on it...until I was like 22, when I suddenly realized I'd been scratching my scalp until it bled for my entire life!! That was weird. A few months ago I worried that it might negatively affect hair growth, and with some concentration, I turned scritching into scalp massaging. It wasn't too hard, but I had had practice.

I used to have to maintain balance on my body, especially my hands. If my index finger on my right hand touched something cold, my index finger on my left hand had to touch it, too. Sometimes I would scritch the pad of my index finger...then my middle finger...then my ring finger, until I did them all, then the other hand, then sometimes both hands all over again! It started to irritate me that I had to do it, it looked weird and people didn't know what to think when they saw.

I started intentionally doing things un-balanced. First I got just one eyebrow pierced. That was pretty good. THEN I started wearing a ring, only on my right ring finger. That was way better, I got used to feeling unbalanced and that helped. I started noticing every little thing I was doing to "balance" myself, and I would intentionally NOT do that! And even sometimes intentionally do unbalanced things (like chew on only one side of my mouth). Finally I saw someone for my autism and he said I was doing exactly the right thing, you are always supposed to fight the compulsions or they can get worse and worse.

Just trying to stop is the right thing to do! It doesn't matter if you are still pulling, as long as you are trying to stop pulling. Work at it every day and don't beat yourself up when you fail. I have successfully stopped nail-biting, scalp-scritching, and balancing this way, now I'm trying to stop lip- and cuticle-biting! We can do it if we try hard and believe in ourselves. :grouphug:

Oh, thank you for this!!! You've made me feel so much better! I haven't ever been "diagnosed" with anything, officially, but I have / have had a lot of these same compulsions, especially the balancing, and especially when I was going through a period of severe stress and deep depression. (Both undiagnosed--they kept testing me for Mono instead, and it kept coming up negative.) I used to have to breathe in and out along the exact same pathway, as well, and if I failed, I'd have to reverse exactly the entire lung / torso / throat movement I'd just done ... Complicated to explain, but it led to a lot of strange breathing and weird abdominal cramping. I also had to count my steps everywhere I went, and take the biggest steps possible. Must have looked ridiculous.
I still find myself counting odd things, and half the time I realize my brain is obsessively repeating a number over and over, and I have no idea HOW I got to 44, or or 78, or what I was counting in order to get there.

[Juanita]

I notice the common thread in all this seems to be stress related/ triggered. Has anyone tried yoga and meditation as a stress reducer. I find this is a great destresser for me and helps prepare you for the day.

[Narya]

Juanita, I haven't tried any stress relieving therapy, but I'm one of those people that do not feel stressed at all and then grind their teeth to dust at night, so I don't think it'd work much for me. It's a great suggestion to try, anyway, just in case.

I'm doing great now and still can't believe it. I said I would stop pulling after giving birth: my baby boy was born the 25th and I haven't pulled since then! The first days I didn't even think about it. Now I have to consciously stop myself when I'm stroking my hair searching for strands to pull, but it seems to be working. :D

[lilliemer]

Congrats lilliemer on making it 7 days pull free!
Thanks - hope things are settling down for you too!

[Carissamarie08]

How is everyone doing??

Last few days have been getting bad...I had a period of no pulling for a few weeks but I think the stress of my move is getting to me again. Im officially moving from Alaska to Hawaii tomorrow!

[MirrorOfErised]

^ Congratulations on your move! How exciting for you :eek:
Although, I totally understand how stressful moving can be.

I'm trying to keep my hands off my hair. I have a patch at the front that is noticeably thinned out. If I'm not pulling the hairs out I'm stroking it. My hand just flies up there when i'm stressed:mad:

[PixxieStix]

Eeeek. A year of doing more or less very well, and the last couple weeks, not so much. :( I've pulled hair out the last three nights in a row which at this point I would say is highly unusual for me, and the back part of my crown is very, very thin again. Like, balding thin. I want to me mad at myself, but have learned that only makes things worse, but now I'm left in a sort of ambivalent state wondering how I should feel. I refuse to be ashamed, as this is my disorder, my flaw, and there is nothing wrong with that! It still just royally sucks though, especially with my wedding in a month. My mom is going to have to be creative with my hair again to make it looks nice, and here I was hoping to have a mostly full head of hair for her to work with!

I think I've more or less identified the problem, as I am not a night person but have been staying up past midnight frequently lately, and the pulling is always later at night and my brain just goes into a sort of "manic" mode, a silent frenzy going around and around in my head and I try to get it to stop by pulling, but I just need to go to sleep! I'm going to be setting a "bedtime alarm" now so I start going to bed when I know I need to, otherwise I get this awful crazy brain thing and pull.

I just need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am going to be beautiful on my wedding day, full head of hair or not, and I can't think about it too much or I'll start crying and I don't want to go down that road right now. I'm going to start throwing my energy and excess time into whacking things off my to-do list and not allow myself to procrastinate on a lot of stuff anymore. Mental cleaning by getting things done helps my pulling a lot, and I need to remember that. I wish it wasn't so hard to KNOW what to do to keep from pulling, and then actually keep on top of yourself to DO IT.

[lilliemer]

How is everyone doing??

Last few days have been getting bad...I had a period of no pulling for a few weeks but I think the stress of my move is getting to me again. Im officially moving from Alaska to Hawaii tomorrow!


Eeeek. A year of doing more or less very well, and the last couple weeks, not so much. :( I've pulled hair out the last three nights in a row which at this point I would say is highly unusual for me, and the back part of my crown is very, very thin again. Like, balding thin. I want to me mad at myself, but have learned that only makes things worse, but now I'm left in a sort of ambivalent state wondering how I should feel. I refuse to be ashamed, as this is my disorder, my flaw, and there is nothing wrong with that! It still just royally sucks though, especially with my wedding in a month. My mom is going to have to be creative with my hair again to make it looks nice, and here I was hoping to have a mostly full head of hair for her to work with!

I think I've more or less identified the problem, as I am not a night person but have been staying up past midnight frequently lately, and the pulling is always later at night and my brain just goes into a sort of "manic" mode, a silent frenzy going around and around in my head and I try to get it to stop by pulling, but I just need to go to sleep! I'm going to be setting a "bedtime alarm" now so I start going to bed when I know I need to, otherwise I get this awful crazy brain thing and pull.

I just need to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am going to be beautiful on my wedding day, full head of hair or not, and I can't think about it too much or I'll start crying and I don't want to go down that road right now. I'm going to start throwing my energy and excess time into whacking things off my to-do list and not allow myself to procrastinate on a lot of stuff anymore. Mental cleaning by getting things done helps my pulling a lot, and I need to remember that. I wish it wasn't so hard to KNOW what to do to keep from pulling, and then actually keep on top of yourself to DO IT.

Many [virtual] :hug:s to both of you...weddings and moving are both quite stressful!

Have you tried replacing straight up pulling with S&D on split ends. This worked well for me, I still S&D kind of obsessively but I am not pulling nearly as much hair out any more. I should note that most of my trichotillomania was focused on split hairs and pulling out or destroying the split ends so YMMV with trying S&D.

The other thing is to try to interpret your habit loop. Trigger --> Behavior --> Reward. Figure out all three elements then try to substitute. For me the loop worked like this:

Trigger = Sitting in front of computer to do work; work was either boring or difficult -->

Behavior = Using well-illuminated computer screen to identify split ends and pull them -->

Reward = Self soothing by grooming; Feeling like I was accomplishing a task even though I wasn't doing Actual Work; Decreased stress in the moment that led to ever increasing stress because my work wasn't getting done (and I had eyestrain, sore shoulders, and destroyed hair)

I am still working on getting over this, it is a work in progress and particularly hard during stressful times. I still do a lot of computer work so I can't change the trigger; i have been able to replace the splitting behavior with snipping off the split ends; the reward is showing in my hair being a bit healthier. Also I think by introducing the scissors into the equation, I became more aware of the habit and less likely to go into the trance-like pulling state for hours that you described.

Good luck with this, no matter what I am sure you will have a lovely wedding! post as much as you like, it is always good to hear from others who are dealing with this! :hug:

[christyrose]

I had been pulling for 23 years, since I was 2 or 3 years old. It gets worse when I was stressed or anxious but it was out of habit for me too since doing it for so long and for as long as I could ever remember. It was so hard to even go one day without it. I knit and crochet, sew and I stay very busy with typing and everything else and I would still not be able to make it a single day without pulling. Although I didnt do it as bad as people who make themself go bald I have made several spots that are so short compared to the rest of my hair the only way to fix it would be a pixie cut. I let the rest of my hair grow out so I could just wear it up and even with that it is so super thin. Well I did a lot of getting to the root of why I pulled. I realized that it was a way for me to cope with anything good and bad in my life. I have been almost 2 weeks now without pulling and I wont go back. I have had a very stressful last 2 weeks, more stressful than most other times I have so I know if I can get through this, I can get through anything! I get scared about having relapses but I have never had nice hair, or been able to have long hair so I decided I deserve it! I still get tempted to start again, but having gone so long I know I cant go back and I refuse to fail. I have wanted to stop super bad in the past and I cant tell you what is really different this time around. I do talk to my husband about it all the time, but I want this more than I have ever wanted anything and I am so determined that I know I wont fail. I dont keep my hands away from my hair, that just makes it harder. I play with my hair all the time, scalp massages all the time and that does help having some stimulation on my head even if its not the same as before. I was super scared about posting on here about this because I thought a group on ladies with beautiful long hair would never have a problem like this, but I am glad to see I am not alone. I also have been taking biotin at 5,000-1,000 mcg everyday and its really helped my overall mood and energy level... theres been back and forth on whether it makes your hair really grow faster or not, but for me the change in energy and my mood is great! I also have cut out most if not all sugar and have been eating a lot more salads but also trying to eat more food in general and eat more protein over the last several months and I have noticed a huge improvement on how I feel and that helps me not to feel worn down and to stay positive making this huge change to my life. I hope that my story helps anyone who feels like they cant stop. I felt that way for so long pulling for 23 or more years I felt like I havent been able to go a single day without pulling yet, maybe there is no hope for me. If I can do this, anyone can! I even started a blog if anyone is interested. I am updating once a week for at least a year to keep me accountable and to encourage others who have suffered for a long time!

Anyone who hasnt dealt with this, I know its easy to say well just keep your hands away or just stop, or just find something else to do with your hands... Its not that easy... Dont you think if we could stop that easily we would? Yes! No one that does this wants to do it! Its very hard to stop just as hard as a drug addiction really!

[goldloli]

I had this starting from age 12 with split ends, it wasn't bad at the time. Calmed down a lil for 2 years, then I would pull out static hairs or lil short ones with tweezer that ruined the smoothness of my hair tied up. again this died down until i started a new school, i felt very alien at the time and i began pulling hundreds of hairs a day. The thicker zig zaggy ones from underneath. At the time i also got gum stuck in my hair that had to be cut out. Whithin months i effectively had an undercut because only the fine hair at the top of my hair escaped the pull.


They called me alopecia girl in school, i was too embarrassed to admit id done it to myself. My mom would shout at me to stop, i blamed it on hair straighteners snapping off my hair until there was no hiding it. I had some other issues and was sent to psych. Therapy and meds didn't help.

I've been PPF (practically pull free) since a year or 2 after that through will power alone. I am keen on S&D, to the point where i will snap the coarse nape hairs if i'm out and about and there are no scissors. I've noticed when i'm grooming/self improving the urge is lessened.

Ten years on i still get phantom itches in the areas i wanna pull. I've also had many dreams of pulling out gigantic ziggly hairs bigger than me, as if i were flea sized. Now my hair is waist length and curly and pretty full :D

[stew]

I had this starting from age 12 with split ends, it wasn't bad at the time. Calmed down a lil for 2 years, then I would pull out static hairs or lil short ones with tweezer that ruined the smoothness of my hair tied up. again this died down until i started a new school, i felt very alien at the time and i began pulling hundreds of hairs a day. The thicker zig zaggy ones from underneath. At the time i also got gum stuck in my hair that had to be cut out. Whithin months i effectively had an undercut because only the fine hair at the top of my hair escaped the pull.


They called me alopecia girl in school, i was too embarrassed to admit id done it to myself. My mom would shout at me to stop, i blamed it on hair straighteners snapping off my hair until there was no hiding it. I had some other issues and was sent to psych. Therapy and meds didn't help.

I've been PPF (practically pull free) since a year or 2 after that through will power alone. I am keen on S&D, to the point where i will snap the coarse nape hairs if i'm out and about and there are no scissors. I've noticed when i'm grooming/self improving the urge is lessened.

Ten years on i still get phantom itches in the areas i wanna pull. I've also had many dreams of pulling out gigantic ziggly hairs bigger than me, as if i were flea sized. Now my hair is waist length and curly and pretty full :D

amazing job with the will power. i've managed to stop on will power alone, but never for longer than 8 months at a time. it helps seeing things like this, because it's so easy to get stressed and just give in to your urges because you think it should just go away. accepting that it is a lifelong battle, much like addiction, really puts the fight back in me somehow :eek:

i haven't been doing too well recently, because of a variety of enormously stressful factors.. i had a huge falling out with my best friend/roommate and now i'm moving home at the end of the month. but i'm determined to stop this month. i've started exercising, which always helps, and i'm taking daily NAC supplements. WISH ME LUCK!!

[CurlyCurves]

I'm sorry, hun :(

[goldloli]

amazing job with the will power. i've managed to stop on will power alone, but never for longer than 8 months at a time. it helps seeing things like this, because it's so easy to get stressed and just give in to your urges because you think it should just go away. accepting that it is a lifelong battle, much like addiction, really puts the fight back in me somehow :eek:

i haven't been doing too well recently, because of a variety of enormously stressful factors.. i had a huge falling out with my best friend/roommate and now i'm moving home at the end of the month. but i'm determined to stop this month. i've started exercising, which always helps, and i'm taking daily NAC supplements. WISH ME LUCK!!

Thank you :disco:

There is totally hope! Tbh i don't even remember i have it these days, it's totally not even a problem. Mine was really bad, I had sores, bald patches, bullying and looked ridiculous when the lil flap of hair blew in the wind. I personally believe when you have it to that degree, it never goes away and can only be displaced or covered by medicine. A compulsive grooming habit caused by chemical misfire and perfectionist personalities doesn't mean it has to be damaging. By not fighting it and turning it into a healthier habit, you can find a way cure it.

Keeping scissors in every room i hang out in for S&D is a godsend. Dosing NAC didn't really do much for it specifically however it does take the edge off anxiety when added to my morning coffee, which can indirectly help :D

Trying to think back to first abstinence techniques. I know gloves/snapbands/stressballs/tying hair up didn't work for me. Neither did shaming or getting a new haircut. Oh yeah when i first tried to lessen it, i decided that if i absolutely had to pull then i would snap the hair so as not to damage the follicle (which overtime deforms the follicle and any hair it produces). Slathering on hair masks help a lil for those lazy evenings. Tests of willpower did wonders, I grew my nails and dieted and went pull free, if i had a set back on one area then the others succeeding boosted my confidence to persevere. Getting preoccupied with make up, projects and other self grooming/creative methods also made a difference.

Another thing, if you catch yourself post trance pulling 50 hairs that have now presented themselves in a pile on the floor and you start feeling lame and guilty, like you messed up and ruined everything, try to stop that response. I mean sure it's not okay to enable the behaviour but it certainly doesn't help punishing yourself or getting low self esteem and stuff about it. It's like slipping on a diet then hating yourself, giving up and eating some more because 'it's all ruined', it's not, accept the pull and try again. Every day you don't pull, is another 50 healthy hairs still making your hair look full and beautiful. <3

I wish nobody had to go through this self war ever. Oooo i just remembered, the other day i was looking at asmr http://www.asmr-research.org/ videos on youtube, and its soo similar to that relaxing feeling that pulling gives.

[Zesty]

I definitely have some of these tendencies. I've always been a "picker," but mine leans more towards skin picking and I seem to do a fairly good job of controlling it, at least at this point in my life. I pick at my face (dryness and pimples) and my ears (dryness/scabs and sometimes healing piercings, which is SO BAD, but I always wash my hands first and everything). Sometimes I pick at my scalp. But nothing to the point of doing a lot of damage.

In terms of hairs, I've pulled wiry coarse hairs out before but I don't have enough of them for it to get really bad. In the past few months I've started tweezing my armpit hairs, which is not always good (tends to get red/ingrown hairs) but is more socially acceptable than head hairs or eyelashes. I used to bite my nails but now I focus too much on making them pretty for that. I try to keep away from my feet as much as possible too because I love to pick at them.

I just wanted to send hugs to those of you who have it worse, and I guess reinforce that it's definitely a spectrum and you're not alone by any means.

[lilliemer]

How is everyone doing? This thread has been quiet recently. I was doing great until I had a pulling episode, I sat down to write and got blocked then I just started playing with my hair. I had been scissoring my splits but didn't have a pair of scissors at hand so I got to pulling. :( I'm posting now to try to stop and at least write SOMETHING so i don't go to bed feeling un-written out.

[Dragon Faery]

Aw. :grouphug:

I'm doing ok as far as scritching my scalp goes, but I've totally wrecked my lips and fingers with peeling lately. We've had spiders almost the size of tarantulas invading our house every night, and I'm too scared of them to sleep. So I end up awake until dawn, staring at the TV or reading, looking nervously around every few minutes...and picking at things, apparently. I don't really know what day it is, and all my routines are off. :p Fortunately(?) my health won't let me have a job... But yeah. My fingers are pretty raw right now.

[Narya]

I've been doing better than before I had my son but haven't managed to stop pulling completely, as I intended. The first month I did great (no pulling) but this last one has been harder, and I have pulled when really stressed or, often, at night when the kid sleeps and I have some time to rest and unwind.

Oh, well. At least I'm doing better than I was. One hair pulled less is one hair more on my head (until postpartum shed strikes).

[marobader]

guys I was first pulling my hair but now & for so long I cut the hair (break it ) with my hand is it the same thing ?

[lilliemer]

guys I was first pulling my hair but now & for so long I cut the hair (break it ) with my hand is it the same thing ?

Yes it is probably similar. I have done a lot of reading about this to try to solve my problem. I believe trichotillomania is a spectrum of behaviors. Some people pull and some do other grooming stuff like picking at split ends or breaking hairs off. The common element is that the pulling/splitting/whatever grooming behavior can be triggered by stress or negative self talk, and there is a feeling of being soothed or relieved afterwards. A very common thread is a history of 'being hard on yourself' or having grown up with a hypercritical close family member. (This is certainly true in my instance.) It is similar to nail biting or other body focused habits. Many people are not really conscious of the behavior either but will find themselves an hour or two later with a pile of hair on the table in front of them.

I never pulled my hair out of my scalp but I peel and break split ends apart compulsively. It did a great deal of damage to my hair that i am just now beginning to repair. I am also a nail biter and pick at my cuticles. I have found that always keeping scissors around to snip the splits, as well as posting on here, have been really helpful. It is also important to try to identify what triggers the behavior (negative thoughts/feelings of frustration/etc) and think of alternative activities to replace the pulling (knitting or some such). There is a lot of information online about trichotillomania if you search. Hope this is helpful and good luck :blossom::blossom:

[ratgirldjh]

I don't know if this behavior fits in with this or not - but when I am stressed out I wash my hair.

I know this sounds benign - but sometimes I have washed my hair up to 5 times in a day(or more)! It is ruining my hair!

I know I have OCD tendencies and I used to have this same problem with taking baths years ago or washing my hands - but now it has become my hair!!!

Any idea how to stop this? Putting it up doesn't help. I had some luck for a while with braiding it because it was hard to do (lol) but then I got better.

When I was co-washing it kind of helped because I hated the smell of conditioner and all the rinsing - so I didn't want to wash as often. But then I got really stressed and just started washing with aloe vera gel instead and then of course it wouldn't come out so I had to wash with soap and then it was dry and then it was greasy and on and on and on...

grrrr I am feeling that I may need an intervention soon. I'm serious :(

Also I forgot to mention that I have the counting thing too. Right now it isn't too bad but it can get out of hand. I have the balance thing too in a way - but for me it is odd numbers - I get obsessive about having everything in 3's ...

I do know that a lot of this is stress related and I am in a very stressful position right now that I cannot do much to alleviate.

I do yoga, I walk daily and work out. But still I find myself doing these things. I do spend a lot of time alone in my office and I think I am going to have to just go outside and walk more when I am bored...

Thanks for reading this.

[Rufflebutt]

I'm really glad I don't have this problem. As for people who think it's weird, it's basically like nail biting isn't it? Really annoying and causes all sorts of problems.

[HazyMoon]

I think I have the skin-picking part of this. Recently it hit me that it's probably not normal how much I pick and scrape my scalp and face. I have SD on my scalp from using chemicals on my hair as a teen. I've been picking since I got SD. I pick my face when it gets dry or bumpy (which leads to breakouts)... so lately I've been very conscious of stopping the second I start.

I started to scalp massage with oils to help the damaged scalp. I see baby hairs in my balder areas but i don't know if that is directly linked to me picking less.

[hufflepug]

Checking in as another person with trichotillomania. I don't pull at my scalp often, for me it's usually my eyebrows. About 2 years ago my anxiety was so bad that I pulled them completely bare. It took about 2 months for them to grow back, it was awful. Fortunately, I've been able to cut way back. I have long nails, which help me pull at the hairs, but now I cut them short whenever I get the urge to pull. It helps, and I'd much rather have short nails than no eyebrows.

[MrsGuther]

I pull out any course or wiry hairs I can find on my head. :( I have the urge to pull out other ones too, but I usually resist the urge and just rub my scalp for like an hour before bed...

[TeaGarden]

I have this too. But instead of pulling from my head, I usually end up plucking at my eyebrows or eyelashes. When I was younger I was extremely bad about it. I've made a lot of progress over the years. Now I don't pull at my eyelashes and the only time I freak out over eyebrows is when I see one of my friend's with messy eyebrows. (I usually end up smoothing them into place for the person and then check my own.) So I don't really pluck them out anymore. I have to sit on my hands sometimes though.

[marobader]

Thank you very much your answer give me alot to think about & right now I am trying to keep my hand away from my hair

[marobader]

Yes it is probably similar. I have done a lot of reading about this to try to solve my problem. I believe trichotillomania is a spectrum of behaviors. Some people pull and some do other grooming stuff like picking at split ends or breaking hairs off. The common element is that the pulling/splitting/whatever grooming behavior can be triggered by stress or negative self talk, and there is a feeling of being soothed or relieved afterwards. A very common thread is a history of 'being hard on yourself' or having grown up with a hypercritical close family member. (This is certainly true in my instance.) It is similar to nail biting or other body focused habits. Many people are not really conscious of the behavior either but will find themselves an hour or two later with a pile of hair on the table in front of them.

I never pulled my hair out of my scalp but I peel and break split ends apart compulsively. It did a great deal of damage to my hair that i am just now beginning to repair. I am also a nail biter and pick at my cuticles. I have found that always keeping scissors around to snip the splits, as well as posting on here, have been really helpful. It is also important to try to identify what triggers the behavior (negative thoughts/feelings of frustration/etc) and think of alternative activities to replace the pulling (knitting or some such). There is a lot of information online about trichotillomania if you search. Hope this is helpful and good luck :blossom::blossom:

Thank you very much your answer give me alot to think about & right now I am trying to keep my hand away from my hair:)

[stew]

I don't know if this behavior fits in with this or not - but when I am stressed out I wash my hair.

I know this sounds benign - but sometimes I have washed my hair up to 5 times in a day(or more)! It is ruining my hair!

I know I have OCD tendencies and I used to have this same problem with taking baths years ago or washing my hands - but now it has become my hair!!!

Any idea how to stop this? Putting it up doesn't help. I had some luck for a while with braiding it because it was hard to do (lol) but then I got better.

When I was co-washing it kind of helped because I hated the smell of conditioner and all the rinsing - so I didn't want to wash as often. But then I got really stressed and just started washing with aloe vera gel instead and then of course it wouldn't come out so I had to wash with soap and then it was dry and then it was greasy and on and on and on...

grrrr I am feeling that I may need an intervention soon. I'm serious :(

Also I forgot to mention that I have the counting thing too. Right now it isn't too bad but it can get out of hand. I have the balance thing too in a way - but for me it is odd numbers - I get obsessive about having everything in 3's ...

I do know that a lot of this is stress related and I am in a very stressful position right now that I cannot do much to alleviate.

I do yoga, I walk daily and work out. But still I find myself doing these things. I do spend a lot of time alone in my office and I think I am going to have to just go outside and walk more when I am bored...

Thanks for reading this.

i also wash my hair way too often.. and it's not because it gets greasy. since i started CO-washing i don't need to wash daily, and yet i still do, sometimes two or three times a day. it is definitely a little bit compulsive, considering it has nothing to do with how dirty i am.. it is just so routine that i feel uncomfortable when i go a day without showering.

and.. i still avoid cracks in the sidewalk like the plague? :confused:


Thank you :disco:

There is totally hope! Tbh i don't even remember i have it these days, it's totally not even a problem. Mine was really bad, I had sores, bald patches, bullying and looked ridiculous when the lil flap of hair blew in the wind. I personally believe when you have it to that degree, it never goes away and can only be displaced or covered by medicine. A compulsive grooming habit caused by chemical misfire and perfectionist personalities doesn't mean it has to be damaging. By not fighting it and turning it into a healthier habit, you can find a way cure it.

Keeping scissors in every room i hang out in for S&D is a godsend. Dosing NAC didn't really do much for it specifically however it does take the edge off anxiety when added to my morning coffee, which can indirectly help :D

Trying to think back to first abstinence techniques. I know gloves/snapbands/stressballs/tying hair up didn't work for me. Neither did shaming or getting a new haircut. Oh yeah when i first tried to lessen it, i decided that if i absolutely had to pull then i would snap the hair so as not to damage the follicle (which overtime deforms the follicle and any hair it produces). Slathering on hair masks help a lil for those lazy evenings. Tests of willpower did wonders, I grew my nails and dieted and went pull free, if i had a set back on one area then the others succeeding boosted my confidence to persevere. Getting preoccupied with make up, projects and other self grooming/creative methods also made a difference.

Another thing, if you catch yourself post trance pulling 50 hairs that have now presented themselves in a pile on the floor and you start feeling lame and guilty, like you messed up and ruined everything, try to stop that response. I mean sure it's not okay to enable the behaviour but it certainly doesn't help punishing yourself or getting low self esteem and stuff about it. It's like slipping on a diet then hating yourself, giving up and eating some more because 'it's all ruined', it's not, accept the pull and try again. Every day you don't pull, is another 50 healthy hairs still making your hair look full and beautiful. <3

I wish nobody had to go through this self war ever. Oooo i just remembered, the other day i was looking at asmr http://www.asmr-research.org/ videos on youtube, and its soo similar to that relaxing feeling that pulling gives.

thank you so much for the advice. :blossom:
LHC is definitely an attempt to stop pulling.. it's gotten kind of obsessive but at least i'm obsessing over the health of my hair rather than tearing it out to make myself feel better. i do hair masks and treatments often, partly because i can't touch it while it's up and gooey and covered, and partly because i don't pull out my hair nearly as much when it's soft and healthy and taken care of.

[chrissy-b]

LHC is definitely an attempt to stop pulling.. it's gotten kind of obsessive but at least i'm obsessing over the health of my hair rather than tearing it out to make myself feel better. i do hair masks and treatments often, partly because i can't touch it while it's up and gooey and covered, and partly because i don't pull out my hair nearly as much when it's soft and healthy and taken care of.

When I first joined this site, I had one of the longest pull-free periods of my life for exactly this reason. Obsessively taking really good care of my hair really helped. It kept me focused on the positive -- the hair I wanted to have -- rather than the negative -- the hair I just pulled out.

[alexis917]

I had horrible anxiety when I was about ten. My mother's ex boyfriend was very abusive and my brother was spoiled, so I envied him. I pulled out hair at my crown and had a bald spot about the size of a quarter. I am happily recovered now. My hair has all grown back and is healthier than before :)

[stew]

hello everyone.. last night i had kind of a major breakthrough on this front. for a long time the only people i've told about my trichotillomania were my mom and DBF. an old acquaintance of mine and i decided to hang out last night. we got to talking and she ended up telling me that she used to pull her hair out when i was a kid.. and then i told her i still do. this is the first person i've ever met in real life that has this! it is so freeing!!

[summergame]

I know myself a bit in this topic. I also pull the corse and dark hairs out of my scalp. I am searching for them sometimes and grab some hairs between my fingers. If I feel that the hair is not from a good quality it must leave my head! I also pull my eyebrows out and sometimes my eyelashes when I have the feeling that something is irritating my eyes.

[Lady Neeva]

My scalp line tells the story.