View Full Version : my little boy's hair
laurarvt
January 1st, 2012, 03:22 PM
Hi all...
I have a 3 year old disabled son (both physically and mentally). I want to grow his hair out. Not crazy long, maybe just shoulder-ish with no bangs. I have always loved long hair on little boys.
I mentioned that to the hubby, and he said that it would be mean to do that, that he wouldn't be able to push it out of his eyes, etc. I say I will be taking care of it, so I should be able to grow it out, even if it is just for me. Just because he has special needs doesn't mean he has to have short hair.
Do you think I'm being selfish/unreasonable? It would be easier just to keep it short, I guess.
Any tips on keeping it out of his eyes during the growing process? He's a 1a/b F I think. =)
spidermom
January 1st, 2012, 03:40 PM
You can braid the top part back once it gets long enough.
Hair in the eyes doesn't seem to bother children as much as it bothers adults. Since you're the one who will be taking care of it, I don't see why you shouldn't have it as you would enjoy it. If it's too much of a bother, you can always change your mind and have it cut short again.
teal
January 1st, 2012, 03:42 PM
Watch him to see if he's bothered by hair in his face. I know when I was a kid it bothered me as much if not more than it does today. So much so that I cut my own bangs with safety scissors when they got too long, much to my mom's dismay.
Lostsoule77
January 1st, 2012, 04:03 PM
I think Teal has the right idea. You are his mother and at 3 years old most children couldn't care about their hair, they just aren't all that self aware. If you want to do it I say try it. It's not like you can't cut it if it starts to bother your son. My s-i-l's nephew (he's almost 3) had longish hair until recently. It looked absolutely adorable and he still looked like a boy. He never seemed to be bothered by the hair in his eyes. It was always adults moving it out of his eyes rather than him. His mom just would brush it to the side with some water and it stayed ok. As it got longer she sometimes trimmed just the front like an angled bob and sometimes like bangs. He was the only little boy I know that had his hair like that & most of us loved it! He now has a real boy cut and while he is still adorable (more so in some ways) I'm gonna miss his longer hair.
In short, you are his mother and he is too young to have an opinion. You should do what you want unless your son starts to show signs that it bothers him. I don't think that is selfish or unreasonable. As it starts to grow just center part or side part the front to keep the hair out of his eyes. If you keep doing it the hair will get trained and tend to just go that way. If you need to use some water or natural product (like aloe vera) to help train it at first it should be fine.
Good luck!
Amber_Maiden
January 1st, 2012, 05:54 PM
See how he reacts to it... If he starts having a problem with it, then keep it short. If he isn't bothered, then grow it.
Odyssey
January 1st, 2012, 06:55 PM
I don't know what his communication and cognitive abilities are, but is there a way to ask him? I know children with severe autism sometimes use flashcards to communicate, so if he has some way to express his opinion, I'd say let him decide.
Else wise, I agree that long hair on boys (and men) is fantastic. You could use something like solid coconut oil as a hair gel to keep his bangs back as they grow. It shouldn't be too terrible of a problem for him if it's in his face on occasion. Also I would think that hair wash and style time could provide a nice calming time for the family to spend together. Any positive loving interaction is good, especially if it makes you feel good. There's nothing like someone you love playing with your hair to make you feel at ease (in my opinion anyway).
Alex Lou
January 1st, 2012, 07:01 PM
I worked with kids with autism for a number of years... and I saw how judgmental people are when someone is different. Other kids, adults, teacher's aides... they all judge. So I think that it's to your child's best advantage to fit in since he already is handicapped. The sad truth is that people are more accepting of kids who look normal. Long hair on a boy will set him apart.
But I don't think at all that you are being selfish or unreasonable.
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