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View Full Version : A year of growing (a long time coming!).



Freija
December 31st, 2011, 04:53 PM
I've been a member of the LHC since about 2008, but in all those years I've never actually got anywhere with growing my hair out, and I never felt I had any progress pictures worth sharing. I think between growing, dyeing, chopping it all off and growing it again, I've spent almost the whole of the past four years in the awkward halfway stage!

It's been a tough few years, for a number of reasons, and my whole body has reflected that (I only realised how much when my boyfriend and I were flicking back through some photographs together earlier this evening - which I suppose is where all this has come from). My weight has gone down, and up, pretty far, sometimes I've just looked so sick and tired that looking back at the photographs now is a bit hard. I remember hating the way I looked so much for so much of that time! But right now, tonight, I feel really good about myself. I have progress, I have new growth - and if I may, I'd like to share that with you.

In May 2010, I decided that I was going to grow my hair out from scratch. Practically, the decision to chop off all my APL hair and start over was about getting rid of henna, but if I'm honest, I could just have carried on growing and trimming. I tried that first. Getting it cut off was more about having a fresh start, getting rid of the old lengths and - I can't really explain this, but getting rid of a lot of old baggage, too. Twice in my life I've had that weird, calm feeling as I've watched my hair hit the floor. I was getting away from the strangled, stilted pattern of the previous few years and starting over with the process of growing my hair out, too. It was a defined moment, from which things were going to be different.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122413


Today I came across a photograph taken almost exactly one year ago, on December 27th, 2010:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122414

It was the most awkward, unflattering stage of growing-out, and for the first time in all the times I'd been there I didn't try to do anything about it. I didn't try to hide it, or dye it - if I was feeling bad, I put a little cassia on it or gave it a moisturising treatment. It was part of me, and finally trying to learn to love it as it was and let it grow, rather than cutting it off and running away - as shallow as it sounds - was a healing thing. It was like my once half-dead, half-price supermarket spider plant: if I could do this one thing - if I could care for something else and let it grow healthy - it would help me get the rest of my life sorted out too.

And then there's now.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122416

My life is honestly better than it's ever been, I am happy. And my hair is still growing. : )


This is a long post. Really long, I know. I'm sorry - and I don't expect any of you to read it, necessarily; I just wanted to write it up, to try to explain something, and maybe to give back something personal and special of my own, in return for all the wonderful honesty and openness and friendship that hundreds of people send out onto this forum every single day. But if you are still reading this, by any chance, then thank you for that. And thank you, all of you, for your friendship, your love and your support.

I hope this coming year is good for every one of you.

Amber_Maiden
December 31st, 2011, 04:57 PM
Good to hear you are in a better place in you life now! Your hair is beautiful! Happy new year!!

Evie
December 31st, 2011, 05:15 PM
I totally hear you about the feeling of being calm and watching your hair hit the floor, realising you are transitioning in your life. I have done that maybe 3 times, and when I decide to finally grow out natural, there might be another period like that on the way! Your hair looks great, and I am so glad that you are in a better situation now, all the best for 2012 and I hope it stays that way :)

spidermom
December 31st, 2011, 05:17 PM
You did it - got past the really awkward stage! The growing should be pretty smooth from this point on.

Lostsoule77
December 31st, 2011, 05:24 PM
Your hair looks so lovely! You also look happier in that last picture. :) It's good when our outside can really portray what is happening on our insides. :D

jacqueline101
December 31st, 2011, 05:33 PM
Your hair is lovely

PixxieStix
December 31st, 2011, 05:53 PM
Congratulations on the growth, in all ways. It isn't easy to nurture yourself, let alone everything else in your life, and you have made excellent progress it seems on ensuring future happiness and peace. I can relate to the feeling entirely of utter calm at seeing the hair hit the floor and a new chapter begin. :)

Yozhik
December 31st, 2011, 06:28 PM
Beautiful hair, and I really enjoyed reading about your progress, which seems like a real journey, and not just in hair length. :flower:

Congratulations! :flowers:

SoulOfTheSea
December 31st, 2011, 07:25 PM
That is some great growth! Your hair looks lovely, congrats. :)

BrightEyes
December 31st, 2011, 07:31 PM
Your hair looks beautiful, so healthy and thick. I enjoyed reading your post. I know what you mean about being stuck in that awkward length. I've been here for 2 years and my hair is shorter now than it was when I joined. This is definitely a lesson in patience, isn't it?

I hope the coming year is full of progess and more growth for you:)

mrs_coffee
January 1st, 2012, 06:00 AM
Getting it cut off was more about having a fresh start, getting rid of the old lengths and - I can't really explain this, but getting rid of a lot of old baggage, too. Twice in my life I've had that weird, calm feeling as I've watched my hair hit the floor. I was getting away from the strangled, stilted pattern of the previous few years and starting over with the process of growing my hair out, too. It was a defined moment, from which things were going to be different.

I totally understand this. Every time I have chopped off my hair it has felt like a rebirth of sorts. You've made great progress. Well done. :)

oktobergoud
January 1st, 2012, 06:21 AM
It was part of me, and finally trying to learn to love it as it was and let it grow, rather than cutting it off and running away - as shallow as it sounds - was a healing thing. It was like my once half-dead, half-price supermarket spider plant: if I could do this one thing - if I could care for something else and let it grow healthy - it would help me get the rest of my life sorted out too.

I know EXACTLY how you feel and what you mean with this. I have had a pixie for many years and I truly loved it, but I was also one of those typical girls that changed her hair whenever she felt bad or awful. Last year was a depressing year but I did NOT change my hair but let it grow instead, which felt like a major change (not hair wise but you know what I mean).

That being said, you've had some amazing progress! I have to say the pixie looked adorable on you :) But your hair now looks really nice.

Oksana
January 1st, 2012, 06:36 AM
I'm sure this year you will enjoy growing your hair. It looks a lovely length now so you it can only get better :)

kdaniels8811
January 1st, 2012, 08:27 AM
Your hair is lovely and you certainly look calmer/happier. So how is that spider plant? I understand that concept so well, if I can fix something, I may be on the right road. It certainly looks like you are! Congratulations on the growth - both hair and spirit.

beachgirlla
January 1st, 2012, 09:37 AM
Beautiful story and progress, thanks a lot for sharing

aster66
January 1st, 2012, 09:54 AM
Good to hear you're feeling so happy :). And your hair looks absolutely lovely!. Lots of volume and pretty curls, you have every reason to be proud.

CurlyMopTop
January 1st, 2012, 12:09 PM
Great growth. I know what you mean about fresh starts! I had the same habit! Congrats. :D

blondie9912
January 1st, 2012, 12:12 PM
That was so honest and beautifully written. I wish you the best of luck in everything, hair included :love:

boomtownrat
January 1st, 2012, 09:24 PM
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad to read of your personal growth and that of your hair. Your hair looks wonderful and you do look happier. :)

long
January 1st, 2012, 09:32 PM
You and your hair look beautiful and your story is very touching. Thanks for sharing.

Qadupae
January 2nd, 2012, 01:40 AM
Glad to hear you are feeling better about your hair and congrats on your awesome growth ^_^

Lucky
January 2nd, 2012, 02:01 AM
Congratulations on your growth and feeling in a better place! I understand what you mean, I've always felt that there's a lot of energy tied up in your hair, sometimes you do have to cut it to get rid of baggage.

I think you're definitely out of the awkward stage, should be smooth sailing from here!