Freija
December 31st, 2011, 04:53 PM
I've been a member of the LHC since about 2008, but in all those years I've never actually got anywhere with growing my hair out, and I never felt I had any progress pictures worth sharing. I think between growing, dyeing, chopping it all off and growing it again, I've spent almost the whole of the past four years in the awkward halfway stage!
It's been a tough few years, for a number of reasons, and my whole body has reflected that (I only realised how much when my boyfriend and I were flicking back through some photographs together earlier this evening - which I suppose is where all this has come from). My weight has gone down, and up, pretty far, sometimes I've just looked so sick and tired that looking back at the photographs now is a bit hard. I remember hating the way I looked so much for so much of that time! But right now, tonight, I feel really good about myself. I have progress, I have new growth - and if I may, I'd like to share that with you.
In May 2010, I decided that I was going to grow my hair out from scratch. Practically, the decision to chop off all my APL hair and start over was about getting rid of henna, but if I'm honest, I could just have carried on growing and trimming. I tried that first. Getting it cut off was more about having a fresh start, getting rid of the old lengths and - I can't really explain this, but getting rid of a lot of old baggage, too. Twice in my life I've had that weird, calm feeling as I've watched my hair hit the floor. I was getting away from the strangled, stilted pattern of the previous few years and starting over with the process of growing my hair out, too. It was a defined moment, from which things were going to be different.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122413
Today I came across a photograph taken almost exactly one year ago, on December 27th, 2010:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122414
It was the most awkward, unflattering stage of growing-out, and for the first time in all the times I'd been there I didn't try to do anything about it. I didn't try to hide it, or dye it - if I was feeling bad, I put a little cassia on it or gave it a moisturising treatment. It was part of me, and finally trying to learn to love it as it was and let it grow, rather than cutting it off and running away - as shallow as it sounds - was a healing thing. It was like my once half-dead, half-price supermarket spider plant: if I could do this one thing - if I could care for something else and let it grow healthy - it would help me get the rest of my life sorted out too.
And then there's now.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122416
My life is honestly better than it's ever been, I am happy. And my hair is still growing. : )
This is a long post. Really long, I know. I'm sorry - and I don't expect any of you to read it, necessarily; I just wanted to write it up, to try to explain something, and maybe to give back something personal and special of my own, in return for all the wonderful honesty and openness and friendship that hundreds of people send out onto this forum every single day. But if you are still reading this, by any chance, then thank you for that. And thank you, all of you, for your friendship, your love and your support.
I hope this coming year is good for every one of you.
It's been a tough few years, for a number of reasons, and my whole body has reflected that (I only realised how much when my boyfriend and I were flicking back through some photographs together earlier this evening - which I suppose is where all this has come from). My weight has gone down, and up, pretty far, sometimes I've just looked so sick and tired that looking back at the photographs now is a bit hard. I remember hating the way I looked so much for so much of that time! But right now, tonight, I feel really good about myself. I have progress, I have new growth - and if I may, I'd like to share that with you.
In May 2010, I decided that I was going to grow my hair out from scratch. Practically, the decision to chop off all my APL hair and start over was about getting rid of henna, but if I'm honest, I could just have carried on growing and trimming. I tried that first. Getting it cut off was more about having a fresh start, getting rid of the old lengths and - I can't really explain this, but getting rid of a lot of old baggage, too. Twice in my life I've had that weird, calm feeling as I've watched my hair hit the floor. I was getting away from the strangled, stilted pattern of the previous few years and starting over with the process of growing my hair out, too. It was a defined moment, from which things were going to be different.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122413
Today I came across a photograph taken almost exactly one year ago, on December 27th, 2010:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122414
It was the most awkward, unflattering stage of growing-out, and for the first time in all the times I'd been there I didn't try to do anything about it. I didn't try to hide it, or dye it - if I was feeling bad, I put a little cassia on it or gave it a moisturising treatment. It was part of me, and finally trying to learn to love it as it was and let it grow, rather than cutting it off and running away - as shallow as it sounds - was a healing thing. It was like my once half-dead, half-price supermarket spider plant: if I could do this one thing - if I could care for something else and let it grow healthy - it would help me get the rest of my life sorted out too.
And then there's now.
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2731&pictureid=122416
My life is honestly better than it's ever been, I am happy. And my hair is still growing. : )
This is a long post. Really long, I know. I'm sorry - and I don't expect any of you to read it, necessarily; I just wanted to write it up, to try to explain something, and maybe to give back something personal and special of my own, in return for all the wonderful honesty and openness and friendship that hundreds of people send out onto this forum every single day. But if you are still reading this, by any chance, then thank you for that. And thank you, all of you, for your friendship, your love and your support.
I hope this coming year is good for every one of you.