frustrated!

[hendricks82]

My hair hates heatless styles. When I try to do bun waves, it frizzes. When I try braid waves, it frizzes. Headband curls, frizz.

My hair is just wavy enough to not be straight, but not wavy enough to be well... wavy. On the rare occasion that I get curls without frizz, my hair looks piece-y and stringy after a few hours.

I really want to be nice to my hair... but what is the fun of having long hair if it always looks like crud?? I don't want to damage my hair, but I want to have fun with it

I have a few buns that I like, but I do like to wear my hair loose, and well I don't love how my face looks with all my hair back. I can't seem to figure out a way for my hair to look "fixed" and nice when I put it up. My baby hairs stick up around my face, and honestly I feel like I look like a little kid after gym class by the end of the day

Grrrrrr... okay rant over.

[Hollyfire3]

So sorry your frusterated. have you tried any deep moisture treatments? I have super thick, frizzy hair that does not coraporate, and much moisture helps. Also, have you tried oiling your hair? The oil will weigh it down before you attempt any style, acting almost like a cone free hair serum. I urge you to keep trying to go heatless. I am trying but gave in and blow dried yesterday on warm because my hair takes SOOO long to dry...But i am swearing off heat for now. I can just imagine the split ends and my nice, blunt hemline turning into wierd piecy ends before my eyes...Just hang in there, try a moisture treatment, try oiling and try wraping your hair, it might just go completly straight if it is partically already as you say it is. Just remeber, we are our own worst critics and it is always darkest before the dawn (cliche i know but true) keep on trying! Also, try using some pure aloe gel or hair gel to get the flyaways off your face. And, if you feel your updo is too harsh, let a few pieces down to frame your face, this helps make it torable. Have you tried wearing your hair in a braid? Oil it then braid, this keeps it protected, tamed and compated, thus resulting in smoother waves when it is taken out.

[hendricks82]

Thanks Holyfire.

I have been oiling the ends with coconut, but the darn thing keeps getting stuck closed with the the weather change. I placed an order with for Panacea's Winter Blend hair salve and some triple anointing oil as well :-) I am hoping that it gets here soon.

I generally deep treat once a weekish, and I have been trying various things for that. straight oil, SMT, but what has worked best for me has been the 3 minute miracle stuff from Aussie.

I do like braids on myself, and I have some super cute ones I can do. I just would love to wear my hair down and have that gorgeous flowy locks feel... LOL I think I'm dreamin'

I just wish the hair on my head was as pretty as the hair "in" my head.

eta: I'm going to try oiling a braid tonight and see where that gets me. Will it not be "oily" tomorrow? I have really only oiled the length before washes.

[luthien_belewen]

Sometimes I put a very light-hold gel on the top part of my hair to control the frizz. I only use a little bit and I don't work it through the hair, just smooth it on top. It also seems to help smooth out those "not-straight-not-wavy" bits and make it lay straighter. No heat needed!

[Hollyfire3]

Thanks Holyfire.

I have been oiling the ends with coconut, but the darn thing keeps getting stuck closed with the the weather change. I placed an order with for Panacea's Winter Blend hair salve and some triple anointing oil as well :-) I am hoping that it gets here soon.

I generally deep treat once a weekish, and I have been trying various things for that. straight oil, SMT, but what has worked best for me has been the 3 minute miracle stuff from Aussie.

I do like braids on myself, and I have some super cute ones I can do. I just would love to wear my hair down and have that gorgeous flowy locks feel... LOL I think I'm dreamin'

I just wish the hair on my head was as pretty as the hair "in" my head.

eta: I'm going to try oiling a braid tonight and see where that gets me. Will it not be "oily" tomorrow? I have really only oiled the length before washes.


Aww, you will have that flowwing hair, trust me, it IS possible! When oiling the braid, only use about half as much as you use before a wash. You can always add more. Have you ever tried a coney serum? Think of how much you woulf use of that to control the frizz and use that much oil. I do not know how frizzy your hair is because your avatar pic is lovely and silky, smooth. Just be sure your hair is slightly weighed down, not slick and greasy feeling. If you only use enough to calm your frizz, your hair will not be oily. Also, use a lighter oil, not EVOO because it is very greasy and heavy. Your hair should absorb the oil during the night. On the coconut oil, this may be bad with the ends being stuck together. Your hair may want something different because coconut oil locks in protein. Oils are not the same as deep moisture treatment, they more or less seal in what is on the hair, they do not typically penatrate it (except for a few oils, not sure which ones though) Try some sort of creammy treatment and see how you do, this may be why the aussie is working, it is creamy, as opposed to oily. When you take the braid out, do not brush it, finger comb or use a wide tooth comb, brushed braid waves=frizzy mess. Fluff your hair with your hands once it is out of the braid and you will have flowing waves.

[Hotrox]

I have 3a curls, and the only way I can dry it without product and frizz free is to separate it into 2 low ponytails (without ties) and twist each section like a big sausage!! Then wait for it to dry.

If I do this, when dry it has soft curls and no frizz but is also presentable to wear loose, once gently separated out. Drying in other up-do's always leaves a crease in my hair, or big kinks and frizzy ends.

It seems to just be trial and error and being lucky to find what works for you. Don't give up yet ;)

[hendricks82]

Aww, you will have that flowwing hair, trust me, it IS possible! When oiling the braid, only use about half as much as you use before a wash. You can always add more. Have you ever tried a coney serum? Think of how much you woulf use of that to control the frizz and use that much oil. I do not know how frizzy your hair is because your avatar pic is lovely and silky, smooth. Just be sure your hair is slightly weighed down, not slick and greasy feeling. If you only use enough to calm your frizz, your hair will not be oily. Also, use a lighter oil, not EVOO because it is very greasy and heavy. Your hair should absorb the oil during the night. On the coconut oil, this may be bad with the ends being stuck together. Your hair may want something different because coconut oil locks in protein. Oils are not the same as deep moisture treatment, they more or less seal in what is on the hair, they do not typically penatrate it (except for a few oils, not sure which ones though) Try some sort of creammy treatment and see how you do, this may be why the aussie is working, it is creamy, as opposed to oily. When you take the braid out, do not brush it, finger comb or use a wide tooth comb, brushed braid waves=frizzy mess. Fluff your hair with your hands once it is out of the braid and you will have flowing waves.

my avatar pic is pre LHC and done with a flat iron :o I can't seem to master the art of taking a pic of the back of my own head for some more recent pics haha

as to oil, all I have in the house is coconut and EVOO, so I guess I will try the coconut because I'm probably gonna put it up tomorrow anyway. If it doesn't work out no biggie

[Hollyfire3]

my avatar pic is pre LHC and done with a flat iron :o I can't seem to master the art of taking a pic of the back of my own head for some more recent pics haha

as to oil, all I have in the house is coconut and EVOO, so I guess I will try the coconut because I'm probably gonna put it up tomorrow anyway. If it doesn't work out no biggie


For the braiding, the coconut should work, i just think that since you said your ends were sealing with it, it may not be good for daily end oiling. I want to know it the braid works out, i really hopw it does and that you are happier with your hair once you find what works for you.

[Amber_Maiden]

It took more than a year for my hair to start looking and feeling better. Just be patient?

[julliams]

You joined in August 2011 which is not that long ago to have given up heat styling. It seriously is something that you have to get used to (if you want to). I went from straightening my hair every 3 days to only straightening it about 8 times a year and now I find that I just don't associate with straight hair anymore - I prefer my messy state.

Your hair is the best of both worlds since you can coax a bit of wave if you want, or blowdry straight if you want - so really you are very lucky. I'd say if you want more of the straight look, experiment a little with cones. I've found that Dove intensive shampoo and conditioner make my hair almost straight (by my standards) after only two uses. If you try this and get the same effect, you could just simply keep using the product and have your hair straight "naturally". If you want to encourage some wave, just clarify, use a non-coney conditioner and scruch the waves in.

I'd say the world is your oyster - you just have to work out how to achieve it. For me, the key to no frizz is to keep my hands out of my hair and also the weather which I have no control over.

[dulce]

Have you checked out the Curly girl hand book?With frizz I suspect you have curlier hair than you realize and the frizz is from unrecognized curls not being treated properly as curls.

[hendricks82]

Have you checked out the Curly girl hand book?With frizz I suspect you have curlier hair than you realize and the frizz is from unrecognized curls not being treated properly as curls.

Yes. In fact I bought a copy for my curly headed sister for Christmas... so I read it lol.
I ho.estly can't say that I gave it enough time nor did I use the right products. It just seemed time consuming and my hair was always okay the first day but scary after that. I really can't say I gave it a fair shot. I had planned on attacking it again this summer when the frequent wet head wouldn't be so cold :-)

I used to force scrunch it, and DH loved it. I put it up in lots of squished Little buns with gel and then let it down when dry. Worked great but I always had to washthe next day because of tangles and crazy hair... not such a big deal if I was CO I suppose... hmmm I might like where this is going

[hendricks82]

You joined in August 2011 which is not that long ago to have given up heat styling. It seriously is something that you have to get used

I'd say the world is your oyster - you just have to work out how to achieve it. For me, the key to no frizz is to keep my hands out of my hair and also the weather which I have no control over.

I'm not giving up!:) I'm just frustrated and needed to vent to people who understand and can offer some practical advice.
Thank you for giving a positive look to my middle of the road hair. I'm really trying to love my hair for what it is, but its so hard. I see such gorgeous locks on others and when I can't replicate I get hair envy. I just need to work on making my hair look its best not making it look like someone else's.

[xoerincolleen]

I second julliams' suggestion about cones. My hair is also in between straight and wavy and when I use cones, it's almost completely straight after air-drying. Over the summer I went cone-free, and it was always a frizzy mess. I'm sure the humidity was a factor, but the past couple of months, I've been back on cones, and my hair looks and feels a lot smoother and more manageable.

[hendricks82]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=9334&pictureid=121494

I HAVE BRAID WAVES!!

I need to work on getting them to start a little higher up, but I have waves and they aren't frizzy.

Pardon my oversized shirt... that hair is actually below BSL, but the shirt is WAY too big making it look more like APL

[Arctic]

My hair is short now but when it was longer, my braidwaves only started to look nice after I got my hair well moisturized. It took many months!

Your picture and waves look very pretty to me!

[coffinhert]

Hey. I have a similar type which is a bit fluffy and frizzes sometimes. The best things i ever did for it were

- silk pillowcase
- coconut oil as leave in conditioner
-out boar bristle brush to distribute the aforementioned coco oil through my ends
- and the obvious no chemical dye. No 'cones. No blow drying straightening etc.

Finger smoothing and twirling as your damp hair drie can go a long way.

It's possible your curls frizz because they're not properly smoothed when you put them up to set. This is he case for me, i have really got my money worth from my boar brush for smoothing damp hair before setting it in whichever curl style.

[coffinhert]

Also i wanted to add it took me several months of trying to figure out how to set curl patterns that turned out well. I had a lot of 'practice' runs that ended up hidden in a bun for the day.

[jojo]

Just wanted to add EVOO always helps better with frizz for me anyway. I love your braid waves, rope braid waves and sock bun curls would look good too.

[spidermom]

Pretty braid waves!

The trick to avoid frizz for me is do not attempt to comb or brush curls or waves. Just use fingers minimally to smooth and arrange, then leave it alone.