Insulted at the bus stop!

[sneakybea]

Hi all.
I know I haven't been here lately, and I tend to be quiet when I am, but I wanted to post this because I knew you all would understand. Today I was waiting for the bus stop, just minding my own business, when this man (who smelled very boozy) started talking to me. I had my headphones on, and was trying to ignore him, because sometimes nice people do talk to me at the bus stop, but usually it's somebody weird. And sure enough, out of the blue he says to me "You should go see my sister-in-law to take care of those split ends."
I don't think I said anything. He followed it up with "I'm not trying to insult you." Well, guess what, I was insulted. Not just that, I later burst into tears. I know it's irrational; I do have some split ends (though I did just trim), but I don't think they're noticeable. I just have frizzy hair today (which hadn't been brushed either) because it's raining (in December! In Minnesota). And I really don't care what some drunken stranger thinks of how I look, but I'm dealing with a lot of stress now with the holidays and work and everything and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm not fishing for compliments, but I thought people here would "get it." Thanks for listening, if you did, and if you didn't, I understand.
---Sneakybea

[prettyhairisred]

Just ignore him, and be strong!! I know what you mean with the smallest things tipping the iceberg sometimes :P Your hair looks very healthy, and your split ends are none of his buisness! You are beautiful!

[Lici1209]

That's really rude :( I'm sorry!

[Falcore]

Gosh, how rude! It was probably the only way he thought he could get your attention.

I just looked at your hair photos and it's a great length and very pretty!

Last thing you need to hear when your stressed out is some unwanted opinion from a drunk.. hopefully you have a few days off over Chrissy to relax

xx

[Amber_Maiden]

wow.... just wow... that guy was standing way too close to you, if he noticed that! I would have slapped him....

[MoreWhenNuh]

Wow! That guy is a total... Well, I can't even say it here.

Anyway, that would bother me too. As much as I'd like to say some drunk stranger's opinion wouldn't bother me but I know it would get under my skin.

Hopefully things get better for you all around!

[cindy58]

What a poop. I think your hair is pretty. Wouldn't it be nice if you could tell the man, "I'm not trying to insult you, but you stink and could use a bath." Though for self preservation that's probably not a great idea.

[WaterMusic]

Can anyone actually even see splits ends from a normal distance? I can say I have never noticed splits in someone else's hair, and I have to be really close to mine to see them.

I think he was just weird.

[Copasetic]

Please don't let a boozy weirdo get to you!

[patienceneeded]

Ignore him. He just wanted the attention of a pretty lady.

[sneakybea]

Thanks guys! It does help me feel better. In retrospect, it was also 5 p.m., so not only wasn't he close enough to see any split ends, it was probably too dark. And yet, he told the other poor victim at the stop "I haven't been drinking; I just got up."
Even if I were in a perfectly good mood, this would have bothered me. And in a way, I'm kind of glad it upset me, because being upset made me speechless, and I didn't say anything that could have escalated things. I just wish these drunken weirdos would leave me alone.

[KwaveT]

Can you really even see split ends unless somebody's hair is absolutely full of them. You would about have to study somebody's hair strands. If he was drunk, I seriously doubt he could see clearly enough to even notice split ends. He was speaking out of his mind if he has drunk. Your hair is so thick and beautiful. It is hard sometimes to not let other people's negative opinion affect you.

[Nae]

I really think some people look at humidity frizzed wavy hair and automatically think split ends.....I don't know why.


If it makes you feel any better I had a bad case of "split ends" tonight. I think you guys in Minnesota sent the rain this way lol. Before we know it our hair will be too dry so I won't complain.

He was a drunk, don't take him to heart. I am sorry you have been feeling stressed. It is a rough time of year for that. *hugs*

(Your hair IS pretty though, even if you aren't fishing for compliments, ignore the drink-addled fellow.)

[honeydippedxo]

Awwww I'm sorry love. Dont mind the drunk bums at the bus stop. Feel better. <3

[jojo]

Ignore him, hes not worth getting upset over.

[FrozenBritannia]

Weirdness. My man wouldn't notice a split end if I tickled his nose with it, le alone when he was drunk. I think the man must just have been trying to get you to stop ignoring him?

[Schipperchow]

Hugs to you. Try to shake it off. I know it's easier said than done sometimes. I know when something stupid like that gets to me, I need a nap:pumpkin:

[ReluctantlyCurl]

I agree with Nae - I think people look at frizz or flyaways, etc, and they assume damage. It's kind of odd in the sense that there are a lot of people out there that have smooth-looking hair from over-processing and heat (not all, of course, but I would think most have some kink and frizz). Plus, I question non long-hair guys that are paying that much attention to my hair - if they don't get the joy of caring for long hair, they usually hardly notice that I even have hair :)

[AnimaSola3o4]

So much for 'Minnesota Nice', eh?

I'm sorry this happened to you. I live in Mpls too, and yes it is raining and awkward weather. I also was once riding the bus and there was a man listening to his headphones singing very loudly (and badly) and I think I snickered or something to another passenger about it. He took off his headphones and proceeded to verbally berate me about how I was 'the girl from his nightmares' or some load of crock.

There are some very .... special .... people out there.

[McFearless]

I'm sorry but thats hilarious. The man was drunk, could probably barely see who he was talking to and he said you have split ends! Lol try to see how ridiculous this all is. Your hair is pretty dont let it bother you

[Carolyn]

I probably would have said something like "up yours, a$$hole" What a jerk whether he was drunk or not.

[jacqueline101]

He's rude and drunk. He probably was just mouthing due to the booze. I'd ignore him its your hair.

[CrunchyMama]

wow.... just wow... that guy was standing way too close to you, if he noticed that! I would have slapped him....

Hahaha, what Amber_Maiden said!!

[Sheryl]

Oh my! That's just rude! Just ignore him.

[Mesmerise]

Some people are idiots. It's really no one's business whether you have split ends or not! And I'm sure you really don't have that many.

I was upset when a friend asked if my hair was dry, and then I went around all paranoid about my "dry" hair. Yeah, just cause my hair has a natural amount of frizz doesn't make it dry :rolleyes:. I really would appreciate no comments.

She also likes to tell me that I need to dye my hair again, although I never say the same to her, because I figure it's pretty frigging obvious that my roots are showing and I'm sure she also knows when her own roots are showing!

The thing is, some people just don't know when they're being offensive, or when they might hurt your feelings! Sometimes people say it with good intentions... but yeah, good intentions be damned, I don't offer advice about anyone's appearance UNLESS I'm specifically asked. (And in general I'd prefer NOT to be asked :rolleyes:).

[noelgirl]

He "just got up" - off the floor of a dive bar? I think that some people just assume that long hair has split ends, and wouldn't even notice that some long hair, like yours, is healthy and gorgeous!

[Lianna]

Some people have no idea how insulting they can be. =/ Just because they feel they're not insulting, doesn't mean they aren't!

[lolot]

i hate people like that, he just probably said that because your hair is long, because i saw your hair and its beautiful, what would a drunk guy would know about splits ends anyway?

[RapunzelKat]

Wow, I am so sorry, I can totally understand why that upset you!! :( :( What a jerk - he probably thought you had split ends because he was drunk and seeing double!! Don't worry about what he said - your hair is beautiful, and it looks very healthy to me! :)

[vanity_acefake]

:grouphug:
I'm not surprised you cried. How scary and intimidating is that. I hate drunk guys with their stupid comments.
Just brush it off and forget about it. Drunk people cannot focus on anything let alone someone's hair.
Your hair is lovely.

[Dragon Faery]

Given that it was dark and he was drunk, there is no way it was about you at all. If, as he implied, his sister cuts hair, then he probably noticed you had long hair, it struck him because long hair is striking (and often attractive to guys), and in process of trying to come up with a way to get your attention, he connected your long hair with his stylist sister. Perhaps he dug up a hazy memory of her saying something about how all long hair has splits (since many stylists believe this), and thought he could do you and his sis a favor by connecting you, thereby getting in good with you, as well. Then, seeing your shock at his suggestion, he tries to backpedal by saying he didn't mean to be insulting, but... Too bad. He's put his foot in his mouth again.

I am not trying to defend him. Just hoping it might help to realize it couldn't have been about your hair in particular at all. He's still a total jerk for saying anything, and for harrassing you at all. :(

... Kanye West, anyone?

[gazelle]

Some people are so rude, and sorry they deserve to be ignored because of talking without brain. They may not have any business and talk about other people's issues.

I got weight too much and some stranger congratulate me for pregnancy (I am not). It is not hair issue why I tell this, there are so many people like this, and we should ignore them

[julliams]

What a poop. I think your hair is pretty. Wouldn't it be nice if you could tell the man, "I'm not trying to insult you, but you stink and could use a bath." Though for self preservation that's probably not a great idea.

I like this!!!

[CurlyMopTop]

I just checked out your albums, and just so you know, your hair is gorgeous! Ignore the weirdo! :D

[duchesswannabe]

Hi all.
I know I haven't been here lately, and I tend to be quiet when I am, but I wanted to post this because I knew you all would understand. Today I was waiting for the bus stop, just minding my own business, when this man (who smelled very boozy) started talking to me. I had my headphones on, and was trying to ignore him, because sometimes nice people do talk to me at the bus stop, but usually it's somebody weird. And sure enough, out of the blue he says to me "You should go see my sister-in-law to take care of those split ends."
I don't think I said anything. He followed it up with "I'm not trying to insult you." Well, guess what, I was insulted. Not just that, I later burst into tears. I know it's irrational; I do have some split ends (though I did just trim), but I don't think they're noticeable. I just have frizzy hair today (which hadn't been brushed either) because it's raining (in December! In Minnesota). And I really don't care what some drunken stranger thinks of how I look, but I'm dealing with a lot of stress now with the holidays and work and everything and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm not fishing for compliments, but I thought people here would "get it." Thanks for listening, if you did, and if you didn't, I understand.
---Sneakybea

Oh, I get it. When I was young, some weird guys used to accost me on the street and say I was too skinny, stick a bag over my head, etc.

[Alvrodul]

What a rude b*st*rd!

It may have been the booze talking, though, but still - you don't say things like that!

[GeoJ]

Ugh...what an annoying situation! I've gotten the same insult before, too (but not from a drunk, I think it was the "assuming frizzy waves are damage" problem).

Raining in December in Minnesota is odd (I called my mom yesterday and she said "It's raining"- not much reaction from me, so she says "not freezing rain, actual rain"). :)

[door72067]

~shudders~ that is just creepy!

I am sorry he *got* to you :-/

[noelgirl]

Ugh...what an annoying situation! I've gotten the same insult before, too (but not from a drunk, I think it was the "assuming frizzy waves are damage" problem).

Raining in December in Minnesota is odd (I called my mom yesterday and she said "It's raining"- not much reaction from me, so she says "not freezing rain, actual rain"). :)

Yeah, it's pretty strange here in Chicago, too. Usually by now it's all snow, but it rained here yesterday too.

By the way, adventures in targeted advertising - I just got an ad for Bailey's on this thread! Clearly this guy followed you here *pulls out breathalyzer*

[Yame]

You should have replied:
"An
d you should go see Alcoholics Anonymous to take care of that drinking problem. I can smell you from here."
Teach him to mind his own business!

[gogirlanime]

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah just ignore him, you have lovely hair! Almost everyone is gonna have some mild / major split ends once in their life. Even if you did have some I'm sure his malnourished drunk hair isn't any better

My own sister got jealous of my length a while back and then she touched my ends and was like, "but it's so dry and damaged" she can never acknowledge that sometimes I might have something better than her. Her hair is a mess. I think she's just jealous that I'm taking the time and patience to grow my hair out virgin so I won't have dry or damaged hair anymore.

[heidi w.]

I'm sorry this happened to you. Booze does weird things to people's inhibitions and ability to be civil in society.

I'm sure your hair is fine. Sometimes a good cry relieves a good amount of stress. One day all the crap going on for you right now will no longer be going on and something else will be going on. It'll change. Promise.

Try and have a pleasant Christmas anyway. Buck the system. Do something that matters to you and say F 'em and carry on. LOL

heidi w.

[marzipanthecat]

Oh dear. He sounds Not Quite Right.

(Seriously, no one would be going up to a stranger and saying that, it's wierd.)

I'm sorry it hurt your feelings, it would upset me too!

[spidermom]

The dirt-bag should feel worse than you do! (but I doubt he does)

Every time I look, I can find split ends, so we're in the same boat. I do what I can do and shrug off the rest.

[LovingLife]

Aww don't worry I think your hair is beautiful!

[lesbia]

so jealous I think ;) I look at your photos and your hair seem so healty! Maybe just a little bit frizzy in some photos, but absolutely healty, don't care! :)

[Chamy]

Ignore that. Who cares what a booze-smelling man thinks. Your hair is lovely. :flower:

[Celtic Morla]

I think i would have told him I know someone who can help you it's called AAA!

[Gothchiq]

GLARGH. I tend to snap back at people like that (admittedly not always the best decision). My usual response is a vicious glare and a loud "DID I ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE?"

That said, your ignoring him was probably the actual best response. I'm sorry you had your day disrupted by this rude, drunken @$$hat! When you're minding your own business the *last* thing you need is some intrusive jerk making uninvited personal remarks about your body/clothes/hair.

[racrane]

He's a jerk. Wow, I'm sorry. People can be so mean. HUG! You have very pretty hair. Don't let people like him get to you!

[balticbabe]

I'm a bus driver and the things I hear on the bus.

I think he was trying to flirt with you. Like in grade school when boys would pull your hair cause they didn't know what else to do. Drunks and some sober guys think the same way. How can I get her attention? They don't get past the part of "will I make a good impression?" They just say something shocking so you'll look at them. Pay people like this no mind. I don't think he wanted to insult you, he is just clueless. Your hair is yours and nobody else's business. How was his hair?