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StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 07:04 PM
My (step) Grandfather trims my hair. He used to own a trendy salon, and he's good at what he does. The only problem is that, at first, he got offended at my request to be extremely gentle with my hair - and letting me comb it out before he cuts it. The very first time he gave me a trim - he wet my hair and then tried to comb it out. I do the detangling myself since then.

So my question to you guys is -

Have hairdressers or anyone else in general been offended or "weirded out" by your request of being gentle with your hair?

girlcat36
July 9th, 2008, 07:21 PM
I suffered silently while stylists would try to rip a comb through my dry curly hair from scalp down to the ends. I was not nervy enough to quetion them.
I always wondered why hair professionals would not know the proper way to comb out hair.

StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 07:25 PM
I've wondered the same thing. I've had long hair practically all of my life - and come to think of it, never gotten a cut without them (attempting) to rip through the length of it from the scalp. That should be a no brainer. For the sake of hair health and for the sake of them not getting yelled at by people who know better - like us! :P haha

Riot Crrl
July 9th, 2008, 07:38 PM
Yes, I'm with girlcat.

I think the issues may lie in the facts that a) he is your family member and b) used to own trendy salon.

Not always, but a lot of longhairs avoid fancy, trendy, famous salons and stylists. Sometimes this is due to the notion (either real or perceived) that there is ego and "personal vision" wrapped up with very successful and fashionable stylists, which can cloud listening to the client.

Many longhairs seem to either forge a lasting relationship with a more low key local stylist who gets to know them, or go someplace cheap like Fantastic Sam's. I used to do the latter. It's nice because there's not really any ego or anything, and they pretty much do as you ask. It is OK to say, "Yes, I'll show up with my hair wet and comb it out myself," or "Show me how much you think one inch is."

lady_hero
July 9th, 2008, 07:44 PM
I always took my horn comb with me for my salonist to use. She wanted to use a small, fine toothed comb to yank through my wet hair. I don't think so!

StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 07:53 PM
I have lost count as to how many professionals I have been to. Riot Crrl is right about the low key hairdressers. At least it's an unspoken rule of Grandfathers that they have to spoil the granddaughter ;) I feel more comfortable being demanding with him than I would a stranger.

I'm glad you guys have had the same experiences - it's good to know I'm not alone.

Kat
July 9th, 2008, 07:54 PM
I've had my hair trimmed by the same hairdresser a couple of times (yeah, I have it done very seldom, bad, bad), and after the first time it took her forever to comb through my hair after washing it, the next time I was in she let me detangle it myself after washing. :)

Gladtobemom
July 9th, 2008, 08:00 PM
I had a stylist refuse to cut my hair once.

I asked her to trim one inch off the hemline and I brought a ruler with me to show her how much an inch was.

She washed my hair, then started to rip the comb through it starting at the top of my head. I stopped her and said I'd like to detangle myself. She handed me the comb then stood there tapping her foot while I combed out my hair. She kept telling me how she was a professional and she went to school for this and if I didn't trust her she would get me someone else . . .

When I finished combing my hair, I parted it down the middle and did a final comb thru and handed her the comb. I reminded her that I only wanted 1 inch off, even iff that meant leaving split ends or anything else. She handed me the comb and said, "I am done with you."

I picked up my purse and was getting ready to go. The owner of the salon walked over and said the girl would be back. I told her what happened, the owner said, "Sweenheart, if you want only an inch, then you get the best one inch off haircut I can do (she was Hungarian)."

She took me to her station and treated my hair like it was spun gold. She took almost exactly one inch off. Then she asked if it would be OK if she just trimmed off some splits that were sticking out from old layers. As she trimmed them, she laid them in my hand so I could see that they were just tiny little trimmings less than an eighth of an inch long. Then she had me throw my hair forward and did the same thing.

I swear, that lady spent 20 minutes just looking for splits and trimming them. Then she spritzed my hair with a little Aveda Brilliant and I tipped her very nicely.

The stylist that dumped me came out and sat in the chair and stared the whole time. As I was leaving, the owner was telling the her how she was never going to survive if she didn't want to make her ladies happy.

That was one of my best haircuts ever.

sedonia
July 9th, 2008, 08:03 PM
I always wondered why hair professionals would not know the proper way to comb out hair.

My guess is that they just don't think about how hair must be treated if it is to be kept long.

Short hair can be abused, ratted, ripped, bleached, etc quite a bit with no ill effects, because no single hair lasts very long, so the damage doesn't acrue.

My hair is straight and not tangley, so I have never had stylists rip tangles out, but I have cringed at how hard they pull those round brushes through my hair while blowdrying. And also how close they put the blowdryer to the hair.

girlcat36
July 9th, 2008, 08:09 PM
My guess is that they just don't think about how hair must be treated if it is to be kept long.

Short hair can be abused, ratted, ripped, bleached, etc quite a bit with no ill effects, because no single hair lasts very long, so the damage doesn't acrue.

This is quite true. Never thought of it that way.

meichigo
July 9th, 2008, 08:13 PM
I had a stylist refuse to cut my hair once.

I asked her to trim one inch off the hemline and I brought a ruler with me to show her how much an inch was.

She washed my hair, then started to rip the comb through it starting at the top of my head. I stopped her and said I'd like to detangle myself. She handed me the comb then stood there tapping her foot while I combed out my hair. She kept telling me how she was a professional and she went to school for this and if I didn't trust her she would get me someone else . . .

When I finished combing my hair, I parted it down the middle and did a final comb thru and handed her the comb. I reminded her that I only wanted 1 inch off, even iff that meant leaving split ends or anything else. She handed me the comb and said, "I am done with you."

I picked up my purse and was getting ready to go. The owner of the salon walked over and said the girl would be back. I told her what happened, the owner said, "Sweenheart, if you want only an inch, then you get the best one inch off haircut I can do (she was Hungarian)."

She took me to her station and treated my hair like it was spun gold. She took almost exactly one inch off. Then she asked if it would be OK if she just trimmed off some splits that were sticking out from old layers. As she trimmed them, she laid them in my hand so I could see that they were just tiny little trimmings less than an eighth of an inch long. Then she had me throw my hair forward and did the same thing.

I swear, that lady spent 20 minutes just looking for splits and trimming them. Then she spritzed my hair with a little Aveda Brilliant and I tipped her very nicely.

The stylist that dumped me came out and sat in the chair and stared the whole time. As I was leaving, the owner was telling the her how she was never going to survive if she didn't want to make her ladies happy.

That was one of my best haircuts ever.

Whoa. Lucky. Wish I could find a hair dresser like that!

StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 08:14 PM
I had a stylist refuse to cut my hair once.

I asked her to trim one inch off the hemline and I brought a ruler with me to show her how much an inch was.

She washed my hair, then started to rip the comb through it starting at the top of my head. I stopped her and said I'd like to detangle myself. She handed me the comb then stood there tapping her foot while I combed out my hair. She kept telling me how she was a professional and she went to school for this and if I didn't trust her she would get me someone else . . .

When I finished combing my hair, I parted it down the middle and did a final comb thru and handed her the comb. I reminded her that I only wanted 1 inch off, even iff that meant leaving split ends or anything else. She handed me the comb and said, "I am done with you."

I picked up my purse and was getting ready to go. The owner of the salon walked over and said the girl would be back. I told her what happened, the owner said, "Sweenheart, if you want only an inch, then you get the best one inch off haircut I can do (she was Hungarian)."

She took me to her station and treated my hair like it was spun gold. She took almost exactly one inch off. Then she asked if it would be OK if she just trimmed off some splits that were sticking out from old layers. As she trimmed them, she laid them in my hand so I could see that they were just tiny little trimmings less than an eighth of an inch long. Then she had me throw my hair forward and did the same thing.

I swear, that lady spent 20 minutes just looking for splits and trimming them. Then she spritzed my hair with a little Aveda Brilliant and I tipped her very nicely.

The stylist that dumped me came out and sat in the chair and stared the whole time. As I was leaving, the owner was telling the her how she was never going to survive if she didn't want to make her ladies happy.

That was one of my best haircuts ever.
Maybe it's worth the drive to KY from TN - this lady sounds fantastic!

wintersun99
July 9th, 2008, 08:15 PM
.................

brok3nwings
July 9th, 2008, 08:15 PM
Gladtobemom

That is such a great story! It turned out really well, its good to see there are people that understand that we are PAYING to get what WE want... its like paying to project the house your living in. If the architect is willing to take his artistic mind above the client interests he should start to think that first he has to get to the top world architects to have that exclusiviness. So as to salons, yes there are artists in the field and there are professionals. I hate when people try to make an "artistic" job on my hair when i am only looking for someone that can listen to what i say. I am happy for the fashionable, artistic thing as i am an artist my own, but its not just because you went to a school for hairdressing that you can use your vision above everything. And yes i dont understand how can they study hair and sometimes treat it so damn badly??

StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 08:20 PM
Gladtobemom

That is such a great story! It turned out really well, its good to see there are people that understand that we are PAYING to get what WE want... its like paying to project the house your living in. If the architect is willing to take his artistic mind above the client interests he should start to think that first he has to get to the top world architects to have that exclusiviness. So as to salons, yes there are artists in the field and there are professionals. I hate when people try to make an "artistic" job on my hair when i am only looking for someone that can listen to what i say. I am happy for the fashionable, artistic thing as i am an artist my own, but its not just because you went to a school for hairdressing that you can use your vision above everything. And yes i dont understand how can they study hair and sometimes treat it so damn badly??
Amen!

It's funny I'm teaching my Grandfather a thing or two. :)

Riot Crrl
July 9th, 2008, 08:22 PM
*stalks girlcat some more*

I think it comes down to the thing about longhairs avoiding stylists too. How many people do they really end up seeing in their chair with really long hair?

I'm sure they get a lot of people who say they want to grow their hair out, but haven't really researched or committed to that. So to many stylists it's probably like "Of course you do honey." *rip, comb, bleach, dry*

RavennaNight
July 9th, 2008, 08:36 PM
I had a stylist refuse to cut my hair once.

I asked her to trim one inch off the hemline and I brought a ruler with me to show her how much an inch was.

She washed my hair, then started to rip the comb through it starting at the top of my head. I stopped her and said I'd like to detangle myself. She handed me the comb then stood there tapping her foot while I combed out my hair. She kept telling me how she was a professional and she went to school for this and if I didn't trust her she would get me someone else . . .

When I finished combing my hair, I parted it down the middle and did a final comb thru and handed her the comb. I reminded her that I only wanted 1 inch off, even iff that meant leaving split ends or anything else. She handed me the comb and said, "I am done with you."

I picked up my purse and was getting ready to go. The owner of the salon walked over and said the girl would be back. I told her what happened, the owner said, "Sweenheart, if you want only an inch, then you get the best one inch off haircut I can do (she was Hungarian)."

She took me to her station and treated my hair like it was spun gold. She took almost exactly one inch off. Then she asked if it would be OK if she just trimmed off some splits that were sticking out from old layers. As she trimmed them, she laid them in my hand so I could see that they were just tiny little trimmings less than an eighth of an inch long. Then she had me throw my hair forward and did the same thing.

I swear, that lady spent 20 minutes just looking for splits and trimming them. Then she spritzed my hair with a little Aveda Brilliant and I tipped her very nicely.

The stylist that dumped me came out and sat in the chair and stared the whole time. As I was leaving, the owner was telling the her how she was never going to survive if she didn't want to make her ladies happy.

That was one of my best haircuts ever.

Wow. And you say she is Hungarian? Long hair friendly and we speak the same language! I see you're from Kentucky. I guess there's no chance she's in NY huh?:p

Gladtobemom
July 9th, 2008, 09:11 PM
Maybe it's worth the drive to KY from TN - this lady sounds fantastic!

That haircut was in California at a place in La Canada--I don't remember the name.

That lady sold the shop and moved to a place in Pasadena called Long Hair Specialists (http://www.longhairspecialists.com/)--that I highly recommend. They are very wacky . . . but they are wonderful at what they do.

StillAHulaGirl
July 9th, 2008, 09:12 PM
That haircut was in California at a place in La Canada--I don't remember the name.

That lady sold the shop and moved to a place in Pasadena called Long Hair Specialists (http://www.longhairspecialists.com/)--that I highly recommend. They are very wacky . . . but they are wonderful at what they do.
Wacky is sometimes a great thing! I'll check the link out, thanks for sharing!

hurricane_gia
July 9th, 2008, 09:18 PM
The gentlest hair dresser I ever had was also the only one to ask me, before she combed, whether I head a tender scalp. After that, I figured, instead of saying that I wanted them to be careful with my hair I could just say "I have a tender scalp." And I reinforced it by yelping every time they ripped through a tangle. But no one took offense at the 'tender scalp' claim, though they might have been offended if I'd said, 'don't rip through my hair like that.'

Of course, it's a moot question now because I trim my own hair. :p

WaimeaWahine
July 9th, 2008, 09:32 PM
I walked out on a hairdresser once.

While waiting I could see this new employee in action - literally traveling between haircuts, having to read the instructions on a box of perm stuff, and the woman having her hair permed screaming that her scalp was burning!

I'm in the chair and while she's wetting my hair she criticised me relentlessly. Stop straightening as it's bad for your hair. I've never had that done in my life! You need to be washing with anti-chlorine shampoo b/c you swim so much. Clearly, she is a non-swimmer. Endless garbage.

Finally, when she left me (hadn't trimmed yet) to go check on another client I got up the courage to tell the owner what happened, that he should fire her, and I left.

Islandgrrl
July 10th, 2008, 07:24 AM
I'm nervous now.

I really need a trim. Last one was 9 months ago. The guy I went to before (and liked well enough) is booked almost 5 months out and I don't want to wait that long.

So I went into another local salon yesterday to book an appointment, and told the young woman at the desk I wanted a 1/4" to 1/2" trim and that I did not want them to wash my hair, I'd come in with it clean. I also mentioned that there would be no styling AT ALL after the trim. She looked seriously irritated and asked to see my hair, so I took it down out of the bun & she looked at it and ran her fingers through it and told me that it was in horrible condition, would look much better shoulder length and I should consider a style more suited to my age, and some highlights. Seriously, I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Nevermind, I'll do it myself," and I walked out. Y'all would have been proud of me!

I'll wait 5 months for the guy who did it last time.

thankyousir74
July 10th, 2008, 07:33 AM
That haircut was in California at a place in La Canada--I don't remember the name.

That lady sold the shop and moved to a place in Pasadena called Long Hair Specialists (http://www.longhairspecialists.com/)--that I highly recommend. They are very wacky . . . but they are wonderful at what they do.

Long hair specialist? Is that pasadena specific or are there multiples of those?

:google:

harley mama
July 10th, 2008, 07:38 AM
I have found from my experiences with most stylists that I go in knowing exactly what I want and come out sporting a style that they felt was what I should have! I have only been to 1 stylist that cut my hair like I asked. But, even after I told her that I didn't like all the goop in my hair to style it, I ended up with stiff, helmet hair in the end. I trim my own hair now. And, it's OK if it's not perfectly straight.

In defense of stylists, I am sure there are many caring people out there that will listen to you and do exactly what you want. I just haven't been lucky enough to find one yet!

Siava
July 10th, 2008, 07:52 AM
I'm nervous now.

I really need a trim. Last one was 9 months ago. The guy I went to before (and liked well enough) is booked almost 5 months out and I don't want to wait that long.

So I went into another local salon yesterday to book an appointment, and told the young woman at the desk I wanted a 1/4" to 1/2" trim and that I did not want them to wash my hair, I'd come in with it clean. I also mentioned that there would be no styling AT ALL after the trim. She looked seriously irritated and asked to see my hair, so I took it down out of the bun & she looked at it and ran her fingers through it and told me that it was in horrible condition, would look much better shoulder length and I should consider a style more suited to my age, and some highlights. Seriously, I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Nevermind, I'll do it myself," and I walked out. Y'all would have been proud of me!

I'll wait 5 months for the guy who did it last time.

:run:

I *am* proud. What nerve she had!! That makes me angry.

After clarifying, I see that I could use a trim. I wanted to try self trimming, but I don't think my hair is long enough for that yet. My stylist is super nice and I've been going to her for years. She has done unspeakable things to my hair at *my* request even though she didn't want to, but she wants to keep me happy. Still, I'm nervous about telling her to treat my hair gently this go 'round because I've always asked her to mutilate it in the past. :lol:

lora410
July 10th, 2008, 07:52 AM
My last hair trim early this year was fabulous. She listened to exactly what I wanted and did exactly what I wanted.She was very gentle with my hair and I will definetly goto her for the next trim.

talullah
July 10th, 2008, 07:55 AM
I've been wondering about this a lot, lately. I love the woman who trims my hair and I've been going to her for 10 years. She encourages me to grow long, she never trims off more than I ask (if anything, she cuts off less!), she trims my bangs for free without an appointment, etc. She's great-- except, she starts detangling from the roots. :uhh: I can't even really call it detangling. She just kinda rips the comb all the way down. It's awful.

What I've started doing is washing my hair before my appointment, and going in with soaking wet, already detangled hair (in a bun so it doesn't start to dry in the car). I use massive amounts of my most cone-filled, slippy conditioner and I don't rinse it out fully. It works--she can use a fine-tooth comb and start at the roots and everything's fine.

But, I wonder how many times I can go in there with soaking wet hair before she gets suspicious. :lol: I am so afraid of offending her if I tell her that I don't like the way she detangles it, so I do it myself before coming in. Or telling her that I'd like to detangle it myself after she washes it. Either way, she'll be offended.

bgarrison
July 10th, 2008, 07:58 AM
I had a stylist refuse to cut my hair once.

I asked her to trim one inch off the hemline and I brought a ruler with me to show her how much an inch was.

She washed my hair, then started to rip the comb through it starting at the top of my head. I stopped her and said I'd like to detangle myself. She handed me the comb then stood there tapping her foot while I combed out my hair. She kept telling me how she was a professional and she went to school for this and if I didn't trust her she would get me someone else . . .

When I finished combing my hair, I parted it down the middle and did a final comb thru and handed her the comb. I reminded her that I only wanted 1 inch off, even iff that meant leaving split ends or anything else. She handed me the comb and said, "I am done with you."

I picked up my purse and was getting ready to go. The owner of the salon walked over and said the girl would be back. I told her what happened, the owner said, "Sweenheart, if you want only an inch, then you get the best one inch off haircut I can do (she was Hungarian)."

She took me to her station and treated my hair like it was spun gold. She took almost exactly one inch off. Then she asked if it would be OK if she just trimmed off some splits that were sticking out from old layers. As she trimmed them, she laid them in my hand so I could see that they were just tiny little trimmings less than an eighth of an inch long. Then she had me throw my hair forward and did the same thing.

I swear, that lady spent 20 minutes just looking for splits and trimming them. Then she spritzed my hair with a little Aveda Brilliant and I tipped her very nicely.

The stylist that dumped me came out and sat in the chair and stared the whole time. As I was leaving, the owner was telling the her how she was never going to survive if she didn't want to make her ladies happy.

That was one of my best haircuts ever.
this is the coolest story ever! thank you for sharing it and reminding me there are still people in the world who know how to treat a customer.

right now i'm hiding from my current ex-stylist. a sort of friend who hounds me about coloring and cutting and blow drying. and then charges me 60.00 for a blunt cut. I think not. I'm through with that scam-- coming out of a salon and redoing my hair, worrying about the damage. ty twhj.

bgarrison
July 10th, 2008, 08:05 AM
The gentlest hair dresser I ever had was also the only one to ask me, before she combed, whether I head a tender scalp. After that, I figured, instead of saying that I wanted them to be careful with my hair I could just say "I have a tender scalp." And I reinforced it by yelping every time they ripped through a tangle. But no one took offense at the 'tender scalp' claim, though they might have been offended if I'd said, 'don't rip through my hair like that.'

Of course, it's a moot question now because I trim my own hair. :p
this reminds me of being small and in the hairdressers chair and crying and chewing on my blanket because they were so rough on my scalp and pulled through tangles. i was very sensitive back then and think just toughened up in order to please others. my scalp is still very tender and i have a lot of health sensitivities, so it's sad i felt coerced to ignore that.

thanks for reminding me hurricane gia-- if i ever go back to a salon, i will just be very firm that my scalp is tender and please respect that.

yogachic
July 10th, 2008, 08:10 AM
Oh yes, I've been to plenty stylists who rip through wet hair from the roots. The salon in a small town near my home, they do a much better job with that. Once I went in with wet, freshly washed hair, to avoid paying more for a wash there, after they raised their prices. She said, the wash was included. I felt kind of silly then for washing before I came, but wouldn't you think they would appreciate us leaving less work for them?

I've had plenty cuts that I have hated and haven't said a word to them about, I'd just leave and pretend its fine.



I would like to be a stylist, but I don't know if I could handle the ones that don't like what you do and tell you so. I'd feel bad then.

bex487
July 10th, 2008, 08:11 AM
My friends and family don't understand why I trust a beauty school more than a salon, but it's precisely because of ego. The students listen to EXACTLY what I want, and they have an uncanny ability to do what I'm asking (even when I can't explain myself all that well). If I were to ask for something completely off-the-wall I'm sure they'd gently try to persuade me in a different direction, but they're wonderfully eager to please. Not only do I save money, but my hair always comes out perfectly every time.

LaurelSpring
July 10th, 2008, 08:25 AM
I was a hairdresser many years ago. When I went to school for it they never talked about long hair care. The focus was on cutting, perming, coloring and sets. The state board exam consisted of a short layered cut, then set and dried and combed out using back combing (little old lady style). We also had to demonstrate how to wrap a perm and color. Thats about it and that was the main focus of the school. Just the basics to get you through and out and pass your board ..end of story. When I cam to LHC I was totally ignorant of long hair care. It was a totally new learning experience for me. Salons want volume and high upkeep for business. Alot of the time its about products and profit. At least when someone came to me I would listen to them and try to give them exactly what they wanted.

My mom and I have this little disagreement. When I get a trim she cant believe I paid for something that doesnt look any different . When she goes she wants her money's worth and gets alot off. I tell her that if they cut off more than 1/2 in I am not getting the cut I paid for and I am not satisfied. I till dont think she gets it!

Gabriel
July 10th, 2008, 08:29 AM
This comes up a lot here on LHC, the complaints about stylists. Some of them just suck, that's true, but having long hair is an art, and it is not on average, taught in general, about how to grow and care for long hair.

Keep in mind most of us here never thought about ripping through our own hair with brushes and combs before LHC. Even ponytail elastics have only just become hair friendly in the past few years.

Most earn a living by being great colorists, stylists, ethnic stylist, synthetic hair stylists, chemical specialist or with their cutting techniques. Yes, there is a growing trend of long and healthy hair, but the majority of the salons still don't have a long haired specialist working for them because a trim is not something that is going to make the stylist as much money as a color/cut/wash and style, especially when you get proficient enough to schedule them back to back with no problems.

They are taught to keep up with trends and techniques, as with any field of the fashion/hair/makeup industry because that is what sells and keeps recurring customers.

There is a lot to be learned and unlearned about how a lot of them are used to handling hair. They can't do that unless you are willing to share the knowledge you have with them.

There is a way to share knowledge with people without offending them, but it can be a tough line to walk when being a stylist is something a lot of them take to heart and when it is about your hair and what you want/need from him or her.

The discussion should start before the comb even touches your hair. Kind of like ordering a steak in a restaurant. Especially if you don't want the waiter to spit in it.

lilalong
July 10th, 2008, 08:44 AM
Many years ago, when I was still mainly neglecting my hair, I went to an expensive salon once. I must have had hair somewhere between BSL and waist with lots of damaged and uneven ends, due to no trimming for years.
I asked her to trim off, whatever needed to go, expecting to end up with something considerably shorter. I really didn't care much about the length.

She ended up trimming a tiny amount. One or two inches, definitely not more. I felt cheated afterwards, because that hair cut cost quite a bit of money. ;)

For years after I used to grow my hair till somewhere past BSL and then chop it back to shoulder. I've always had to stress that I'm not emotionally attached to my hair in order to get them to do as I want.

Of course now, that I want length, I will keep quiet and ask for a tiny trim.

curlofsmoke
July 10th, 2008, 08:46 AM
I agree about students being often better to cut hair - partly

I recently (6 weeks ago) went for a trim (after not having it done for ages). I went to a model night at a salon where a student was assigned to me and she was quite nice when I said my hair needed to be combed out gently and I didn't want a blow dry. But then the Head stylist who was supervising came over and started ripping a comb through my hair, I tried to stop him but he ignored me and then said the student couldn't possibly do the v shape I wanted - only an advanced stylist could do that (Despite the fact that she was a third year and I had specifically requested someone who could do a v shape before the appointment). But he said they would do a U shape, which actually turned out to be very nearly a blunt cut - which I loathe for my hair. He then insisted on a blow dry saying they couldn't possibly tell if it was cut right or not - did I want wonky hair? I tried to resist but he kept on and implied I was being just a bit precious now. I didn't feel it was a good idea to walk out with him holding on to a bunch of my hair, so just tried to hope there wouldn't be too much damage. And they cut off two inches more than I wanted. It's so hard when you can't see what they are doing until it is too late.

Throughout the time, the whole salon milled around exchanging looks and implying that I was a bit of a weirdo for having butt length hair and not just happily accepting their 'expert' treatment of it, and that I was just being difficult as having to deal with all my hair was such a pain. Sigh.
This is actually the least bad salon I can find (others have refused to cut or burned my scalp).
But I really want a v shape (and very very definitely am too much of a klutz to try myself), and I don't want to go to the Head Stylist next time to get a v shape, have my hair ripped and fried and pay £75 (which is $150) for the privilege. I am stuck.

I don't know if it is worse in Britain, there is more of a 'please the customer' culture in America I think, In Britain very few people will complain about bad service, so these people can get away with behaving like this.

justgreen
July 10th, 2008, 08:55 AM
My hairdresser is wonderful, very gentle. I'm losing her in about a month and the lady that is taking over the salon is the one that did my roots 6 weeks ago. She did a good job, but was hard in the combing out and used a brush to blow dry. She'll be my new colorist and I plan to comb out my own hair and very gently tell her NO brushes on my hair when it is wet. I don't mind using a brush to curl the ends under if they are damp enough. I used to take m own products with me, but I've discovered my hair is not harmed by full strength stuff every now and then. I ALWAYS take my hair pick and my microfiber towel.

Siava
July 10th, 2008, 09:12 AM
I've been wondering about this a lot, lately. I love the woman who trims my hair and I've been going to her for 10 years. She encourages me to grow long, she never trims off more than I ask (if anything, she cuts off less!), she trims my bangs for free without an appointment, etc. She's great-- except, she starts detangling from the roots. :uhh: I can't even really call it detangling. She just kinda rips the comb all the way down. It's awful.

What I've started doing is washing my hair before my appointment, and going in with soaking wet, already detangled hair (in a bun so it doesn't start to dry in the car). I use massive amounts of my most cone-filled, slippy conditioner and I don't rinse it out fully. It works--she can use a fine-tooth comb and start at the roots and everything's fine.

But, I wonder how many times I can go in there with soaking wet hair before she gets suspicious. :lol: I am so afraid of offending her if I tell her that I don't like the way she detangles it, so I do it myself before coming in. Or telling her that I'd like to detangle it myself after she washes it. Either way, she'll be offended.

This is EXACTLY how I feel about Joann. I'm going to do what you do because she detangles from the roots for the most part. I know she won't mind if I come in with wet hair though. Thank you!!

Rapunzelwannabe
July 10th, 2008, 10:48 AM
I've had the same hairdresser since my very first haircut and she's always as gentle as I think she knows how to be with my hair. She starts with a wide toothed comb and combs through the ends after she washes, and then goes back through with a round bristle brush from root to tip, pausing on the bits that get a little snarly. I've never even thought to ask her to be gentle or to use a different comb, probably because once my hair got to a certain length she switched the way she treated it from the 'short hair' style brushing to the 'long hair' style brushing.

CurlyOne
July 10th, 2008, 11:31 AM
I had a trim back in early June. I was worried about where to go so I picked the place I went to last time, back when I would get big hair cuts done. I went in and told them that I wanted a very small amount taken off, about a half an inch. When she got done there was barely a dusting of hair on the floor, I was so happy!

pietri
July 10th, 2008, 12:10 PM
She looked seriously irritated and asked to see my hair, so I took it down out of the bun & she looked at it and ran her fingers through it and told me that it was in horrible condition, would look much better shoulder length and I should consider a style more suited to my age, and some highlights. Seriously, I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Nevermind, I'll do it myself," and I walked out. Y'all would have been proud of me!

I'll wait 5 months for the guy who did it last time.

She said what? To be honest I'd very likely stopped myself after taking a deeeeeeep breath, but that's one of those situations where I hope one day I'll just let go and let them know what I think about such cheekyness then and there and in no uncertain terms...

Hello? It's your hair, your colour and your age to be decided by you! I'm afraid people like her even think they're doing their job right.

Sounds a lot like the car salesman who basically tried to sell a car to my dad even though we'd mentioned he was only coming along because I'm not terribly interested in any technical details but the basics: keeping eye contact with my dad and insisting my choice of colours for the car/interior when ordering would look silly only made sure I went and bought exactly what I wanted at another dealership that took me seriously (or at least had the sense to let me buy what I wanted ;))

Gladtobemom
July 10th, 2008, 01:18 PM
I don't know if Longhair specialists has other stores. I know the guy that owns it (very very wacky guy, but treats your hair really nicely) trains stylists that go elsewhere. He very often has "trainees" watching him.

When My hair is tailbone, I actually LIKE having layers that start at about my waist. I also like a VERY thin bang (less than 1/8" thickness from hairline) that is nose length in the middel and chin length at the edges. Because my hair is curly, this makes a nice "fringe to my updos. I can easily comb it in if I don't want to see it. He is the ONLY stylist that would ever do it for me.

How did he do the layers? All part of his wackiness. He has birkenstock sandals bolted (yes bolted) to the bottoms of 5 gallon buckets. He puts the chair very low (lower than most of those chairs go, because my feet are on the floor and I'm about 15 inches off the ground, I think he had the base made for that chair.). Then he walks on the buckets and holds the hair up to cut it. For the amount of layers I wanted, he held the hair about 30 degrees out from the vertical. That gave me a very slight U hemline with about 8" of layers at the bottom.

My hair looked GORGEOUS, the bottom foot of each hair would curl/wave and the top would be smooth. And when I did an updo on the back of my head, most of the hair would seem the same length or close to it, so my updos looked smooth. And a low ponytail was magnificent!

It was actually him that suggested the ultra wispy really long bang. He said that I could do "deceptively messy" and he was right. I could do a back of the head figure 8 with the wavy bits hanging down and it looked really nice.

He does not even do blowdrys. He has a styling spot set up in the corner with an ionic blowdryer, diffuser, etc. and mirrors. He says if you want to style your hair in this manner . . . feel free to do so. He will get one of his girls to do a roller set for you and dry under a huge (he says he had them made) bonnet dryer that pumps out air that is precisely 110 degrees.

He also has a sink for washing hair that is an old clawfoot tub with one end up on blocks so your hair can be laid out in the slanted tub. Wonderful head and shoulder massages go with the washes. And they always comb your hair with conditioner in. He mixes up aloe and conditioner, with rosemary E.O. and other stuff for a deep treatment.

Frankly, the guy is VERY eccentric. His stylists are very "new age" and the place reeks of the sort of yoga/native american/mysical crystal sort of vibe and it's quite hokey. But they leave you happy.

Ummm, it's also quite pricey. I think a wash/haircut/roller set was about $115. But I did it about twice a year.

-------

My big mistake, moved to Lexington, found someone that SAID she specialized in long hair. And in a moment of insanity . . . allowed her to color my hair. It has taken me over three years to get back to waist length with non-chemically colored hair.

I've vowed that when my hair reaches tailbone . . . I'm going back to Pasadena for a haircut. And I'm going to ask if I can video tape it.

------
I have been told that he "uses" some of the George Michael's techniques. That is NOT my experience at all, I've been both places. Long Hair specialists is much more into mixing stuff for your hair and giving you a great "experience" while you are there. He doesn't try to sell you stuff--there are some shampoos and conditioners there for purchase, mostly for people with problem conditions.

When I brought in a Heavenly Harvest comb, they were very impressed. But they discussed it and decided that maintaining their "vegan/animal cruelty free" environment meant they couldn't recommend them to people. It was soooo funny. I couldn't believe that a comb would start such an intense discussion, and everyone had to try the comb on my hair.

At one point, the entire front of the store was hung with black and leopard print curtains and it was all very Goth. (That was when I first went there.) Then, they switched to a sort of "earth mother" kind of vibe. that's when they built the sweat hutch (never used it, but they've offered it many times). Decorations changed and they brought in plants and stuff. Last time I was there they had this philedendron vine that had grown so long and they were quite proud of it.

Last time I was there, a very nice lady cut my hair. She asked me to hold some crystals while she did it. The hair turned out gorgeous . . . so hey, I can hold crystals--who knows, maybe it helps.

DD has very curly hair. For her hair, they wash and condition it, do an initial trim for length, then tell her to go shopping till it dries, then fine tune the cut. It allways turned out magnificent. DD hasn't had a decent haircut since she's been in Lexington.

They are wacky and wonderful.

dor3girl
July 10th, 2008, 01:22 PM
My (step) Grandfather trims my hair. He used to own a trendy salon, and he's good at what he does. The only problem is that, at first, he got offended at my request to be extremely gentle with my hair - and letting me comb it out before he cuts it. The very first time he gave me a trim - he wet my hair and then tried to comb it out. I do the detangling myself since then.

So my question to you guys is -

Have hairdressers or anyone else in general been offended or "weirded out" by your request of being gentle with your hair?

A good hairdresser is always gentle with long hair--older hairdressers like to save time & don't have patience with long haired clients (long haired clients dont come in very often and don't make hairdressers much money)--it's just one of those things. I used to have one hairdresser that taught me how to be more gentle with my hair--with great results! Good hairdressers are out there!

Nightshade
July 10th, 2008, 02:38 PM
Gladtobemom- I would LOVE to go to a place like that, crystals and all.

/tree-hugging dirt-worshipper :p

nappywomyn
July 10th, 2008, 03:06 PM
Wow - insane. Glad to know difficult hairdressers are standard across the board, though. :lol:

soprano
July 10th, 2008, 04:32 PM
I'm glad to hear that so many women are willing to walk right out the door if their wishes are not to be respected.

I had a good haircut recently. I went in on a Monday morning, when the salon was very slow (actually, it was just the guy who cut my hair, and the receptionist! at a normally very busy, large salon). After he washed my hair, he put in the conditioner and then asked *me* to do the detangling. I was quite grateful and happy to do so. He was a bit surprised at how fast I got it done.

My hair got cut to *exactly* where I wanted. Wonderful. If that hairdresser is still working when I need my next cut in about two years or so, I'll definitely be going back.

Darkhorse1
July 10th, 2008, 04:59 PM
I'm lucky to have great stylists in my life. I had a color once, and the stylist gave me the comb as she was afraid to hurt me! I thought that was sooo sweet! It was a wide tooth comb, and I showed her how I did it to avoid any discomfort. I find when they wash your hair at the salon, the ends tangle more than if I do it myself.

I also clog their drains when they have to wash my color out! ;) :D It's funny--they rinse, hold my hair up, let the water drain and continue.

janaana
July 10th, 2008, 05:30 PM
I've been on the other side of the scissors and you'd be amazed at how many customers would get irritated if I tried to spend time detangling their hair gently, section by section, to avoid stretching or breaking it when wet. They'd say "Oh just give it a good tug and the tangles will come out; my head's not at all sensitive" and some even took the comb and ripped it through their hair in such a way that I was afraid they'd break its teeth, never mind their hair, so it may be that the hairdressers are responding to the way a lot of their customers prefer to be handled.

We did have to be assessed working on long hair during our training, although the definition of long was anything below shoulder length, for each of the main units of our qualification (shampooing, deep conditioning, cutting, blow drying, setting, colouring and perming) to ensure that we could produce a satisfactory result. We also had an optional unit for styling long hair but we were certainly never taught about the necessity of handling it gently or ways in which we could achieve this.

StillAHulaGirl
July 10th, 2008, 06:32 PM
Gladtobemom- I would LOVE to go to a place like that, crystals and all.

/tree-hugging dirt-worshipper :p
I'm laughing my butt off over here! Tree Huggers rock!

StillAHulaGirl
July 10th, 2008, 06:45 PM
I'm nervous now.

I really need a trim. Last one was 9 months ago. The guy I went to before (and liked well enough) is booked almost 5 months out and I don't want to wait that long.

So I went into another local salon yesterday to book an appointment, and told the young woman at the desk I wanted a 1/4" to 1/2" trim and that I did not want them to wash my hair, I'd come in with it clean. I also mentioned that there would be no styling AT ALL after the trim. She looked seriously irritated and asked to see my hair, so I took it down out of the bun & she looked at it and ran her fingers through it and told me that it was in horrible condition, would look much better shoulder length and I should consider a style more suited to my age, and some highlights. Seriously, I looked her straight in the eye and told her "Nevermind, I'll do it myself," and I walked out. Y'all would have been proud of me!

I'll wait 5 months for the guy who did it last time.
Good for you! I used to be so horrible at standing up for myself. It's a hard thing to do. It's your money, you should get what you want!

I can also understand why there's so few professionals out there that are truly educated on long hair care - it's just the fact of supply and demand. Most women these days want to be artificial - teased, bleached, sprayed, tied, dried and fried, etc. I'm sticking to all natural - and I'm glad to have all the support here. You guys are the best.

justmyself
July 10th, 2008, 10:07 PM
I've been on the other side of the scissors and you'd be amazed at how many customers would get irritated if I tried to spend time detangling their hair gently, section by section, to avoid stretching or breaking it when wet. They'd say "Oh just give it a good tug and the tangles will come out; my head's not at all sensitive" and some even took the comb and ripped it through their hair in such a way that I was afraid they'd break its teeth, never mind their hair, so it may be that the hairdressers are responding to the way a lot of their customers prefer to be handled.

We did have to be assessed working on long hair during our training, although the definition of long was anything below shoulder length, for each of the main units of our qualification (shampooing, deep conditioning, cutting, blow drying, setting, colouring and perming) to ensure that we could produce a satisfactory result. We also had an optional unit for styling long hair but we were certainly never taught about the necessity of handling it gently or ways in which we could achieve this.

I had the same problem when I worked in a salon. I would start at the bottom and gently work through the tangle first with a wide tooth comb. This seemed to make most people crazy and they would say "just use a brush" or they would get frustrated and take over and rip through their hair really fast. I wonder if LHC people are just a special bunch because we know so much about the proper care of hair that the general public just doesn't know.

Riot Crrl
July 10th, 2008, 10:16 PM
I had the same problem when I worked in a salon. I would start at the bottom and gently work through the tangle first with a wide tooth comb. This seemed to make most people crazy and they would say "just use a brush" or they would get frustrated and take over and rip through their hair really fast. I wonder if LHC people are just a special bunch because we know so much about the proper care of hair that the general public just doesn't know.

Gah, I can see how this must be frustrating. You can't ever win. If it were me I'd be tempted to launch into a breakage lecture, but the client doesn't want that either.

justmyself
July 11th, 2008, 12:09 AM
Gah, I can see how this must be frustrating. You can't ever win. If it were me I'd be tempted to launch into a breakage lecture, but the client doesn't want that either.

I didn't really say anything when that happened, and it has happened multiple times, I just let them and tried to remember that it wasn't a reflection on me. Also when I would trim a new client with long hair I would do a test cut by measuring with my the ruler on my comb, trimming, and showing the client what would be removed before proceeding to the rest. That seemed to go much better than the combing, they seemed to appreciate it.

It's too bad stylists can't get extra certifications to show that they are great at long hair and understand the needs of a long hair client.

Angellen
July 11th, 2008, 01:30 AM
Gladtobemom: Wow. That sounds incredible. *squee* For that kind of treatment, the price doesn't seem so bad.

I've gone to the same stylist my entire life. She's good and she does what I want, generally. She does a great job dying my mother's hair and my aunt's hair, but when I wanted my hair done it didn't come out that well. To be fair, I wanted royal purple and she was reluctant to even try (the dye she selected ended up washing out in about 3-4 weeks, leaving me with peachy, starburst orange-pink hair). It was awful. But she's good at giving me a nice trim, even if she is opinionated about it. I figure, I don't like her hair (it's a bit mullet-esque and has weird bleachy streaks in it), so she doesn't have to like mine. She doesn't cut more than I want, and my hair always feels great after. The only times I've been disappointed is when I wasn't clear on what I wanted and let her do her own thing (and the purple hair fiasco, but that's a whole different animal). With how hard it is to find a good stylist, I'm just grateful that I have one that respects my wishes.

Oh, and the only time I've ever gotten my hair washed at a salon was when she was bleaching/dyeing it. I always come in with clean hair and just have her go at it.

LongForLife
July 11th, 2008, 01:36 AM
Gah, I can see how this must be frustrating. You can't ever win. If it were me I'd be tempted to launch into a breakage lecture, but the client doesn't want that either.

I always started combing from the bottom of my hair my entire life. I was always taught that, and it seemed more natural with longer hair. I never even did it for breakage, but just because I could not get the comb all the way down in my thick hair, without forming massive knots! :eek: So I have always started near the bottom and slowly worked my way up. My hair can be hard enough to move through without starting at the top. ;)

I have gone to the same stylist for a few years, as she is a friend of mine. She starts at the top and tries ripping through my hair and always brings tears to my eyes. I already told her that I have a sensitive scalp, and she became more "gentle"... uh, not really. She was a little more gentle, but I still almost cry. Next time I will make sure I say something beforehand. Like maybe, "I recently learned that to take good care of long hair, it must be combed gently starting from the bottom and working your way up." I have always known this, but at least it won't make her feel so bad. I know her, so I don't think she would take offense to my saying that.

ETA: Oh, and she is usually really good and careful about cutting only the amount I ask, and doesn't push me to cut it.

danacc
July 11th, 2008, 07:17 PM
Gladtobemom, what a great story, thanks for sharing your experience. And it's inspiring to hear all you ladies standing up for yourselves, and those of you with long-term hairdressers talking about how to get gentler treatment without offending them.

It's been forever since I've received a trim from anybody other than me. But I have fond memories of accompanying my grandmother to her small-town salon when I was young. There was always lots of neighborly catching up with each other, and the stylists would let me make funky up-do's with their styling clips. I have no idea how gently they treated hair, but there were certainly no egos or I-know-better-than-you attitudes around. Great stylists know about customer service. And customer service is a more difficult skill when we don't all want the same thing.

Cinnamon.locks
July 11th, 2008, 07:43 PM
Always! I used to sit and bite my tongue or lower lip when the stylist washed and combed my hair before cutting. until one day i decided that i could not handle it anymore. my scalp is extremely tender and sensitive and i used to cry due to the pain and soreness of the treatment. so one day i was at a salon and asked for a moisture treatment, well the woman first untangled my hair with a tiny closed teeth comb and alot of pulling and tearing, then she washed my already washed hair and combed through the tangled mess, i cried and she mumbled that i was being a baby and i stood and told her that i was leaving because she was abusing me. she laughed! and a few seconds later came back and told me that she would be gentle i felt foolish so i allowed her to put the treatment on my hair, it burned my scalp and i started tearing up and asked for the treatment to be taken out. she stylist was so angry she rinsed my hair with burning hot water and pulled it again, then tried to detangle my very tender hair and i could not stand the treatment so i stopped her. she grumbled alot so i asked to speak to the salon owner and when the woman came she also laughed after i explained the situation. i grabbed my backpack and walked out with a tangled mess, feeling foolish and stupid and very angry, they wanted me to pay the $250.00 usd. for the treatment, i simply told them i would not pay for being tortured and walked out. they threatened to call the police and i told them go ahead, got in the car and when i got home i spent three hours detangling the knots in my hair and had to wash it again because the treatment left some gunky residue.

End result........alot of damaged hair and broken strands which i am still dealing with.

MermaidGirl
July 11th, 2008, 07:49 PM
I don't know if Longhair specialists has other stores. ...

Ummm, it's also quite pricey. I think a wash/haircut/roller set was about $115. But I did it about twice a year. ...

I've vowed that when my hair reaches tailbone . . . I'm going back to Pasadena for a haircut. And I'm going to ask if I can video tape it. ...

They are wacky and wonderful.

Gladtobemom, I just :heartbeat your story! I have a great stylist, but she's back where I used to live (in Orange County) and not only is it a 100 mile roundtrip to get to her, but her hours are quite limited and I can hardly ever get an appointment. She does great highlights and cuts my hair EXACTLY the way I want it, but your story about the Longhair Specialists in Pasadena is truly inspiring, and I may have to give them a try. They are a lot closer to me and sound like they really know how to care for long hair (even though I am just at BSL right now). The price isn't that bad ... I spend more than that getting a cut and highlights as it is, and that's not even factoring in gas to get there and having to take time off work to go!

I am dead serious about this offer ... when you decide you want to come back to California for a haircut, let me know. I will pick you up at the airport and drive you to the salon, and heck, I'll hold the videocamera for you! Bring DD along, and we can all get our hair cut! ;)

LongForLife
July 12th, 2008, 12:36 AM
Always! I used to sit and bite my tongue or lower lip when the stylist washed and combed my hair before cutting. until one day i decided that i could not handle it anymore. my scalp is extremely tender and sensitive and i used to cry due to the pain and soreness of the treatment. so one day i was at a salon and asked for a moisture treatment, well the woman first untangled my hair with a tiny closed teeth comb and alot of pulling and tearing, then she washed my already washed hair and combed through the tangled mess, i cried and she mumbled that i was being a baby and i stood and told her that i was leaving because she was abusing me. she laughed! and a few seconds later came back and told me that she would be gentle i felt foolish so i allowed her to put the treatment on my hair, it burned my scalp and i started tearing up and asked for the treatment to be taken out. she stylist was so angry she rinsed my hair with burning hot water and pulled it again, then tried to detangle my very tender hair and i could not stand the treatment so i stopped her. she grumbled alot so i asked to speak to the salon owner and when the woman came she also laughed after i explained the situation. i grabbed my backpack and walked out with a tangled mess, feeling foolish and stupid and very angry, they wanted me to pay the $250.00 usd. for the treatment, i simply told them i would not pay for being tortured and walked out. they threatened to call the police and i told them go ahead, got in the car and when i got home i spent three hours detangling the knots in my hair and had to wash it again because the treatment left some gunky residue.

End result........alot of damaged hair and broken strands which i am still dealing with.


Oh My Gosh! shudder: It is so horrible to hear of people who really don't care who they hurt, and then to add insult to injury. :(

flapjack
July 12th, 2008, 12:42 AM
Wow, that's one of the worst hair salon stories I have heard in awhile. I've never heard of anyone actually claiming a customer is being a whiner and continuing to do whatever they were doing to hurt the person in the first place.


Crazy, that lady should have been fired. That goes against everything that a cosmetologist stands for.

HotRag
July 12th, 2008, 01:00 AM
Terrible experience, Cinnamon.locks!

I go to a local haircutter in the countryside.
She does always just what I say, and that's so great.
First time I said "take 2 cm" SHE asked me "is this how much I should take" and showed between fingers. And it really was 2 cm. I was surprised, first time this happened.

As kid the barber/salonist showed 10 cm (4") and meant that was 2 cm (after cutting). I was really angry every time. They seam to think "2 cm" is equilent to "take what you think is necessery".

My barber can be little ruff when combing, but if I wash at home and comb, there is no problem at all with this. She at least uses a wide teeth comb.

Sometimes she (without me asking, we even never talked about S&D before she started) takes some minutes to S&D! by twisting strands a bit.

So I think I have a great barber now.

WaimeaWahine
July 12th, 2008, 07:47 AM
I have found from my experiences with most stylists that I go in knowing exactly what I want and come out sporting a style that they felt was what I should have! I have only been to 1 stylist that cut my hair like I asked. But, even after I told her that I didn't like all the goop in my hair to style it, I ended up with stiff, helmet hair in the end. I trim my own hair now. And, it's OK if it's not perfectly straight.

In defense of stylists, I am sure there are many caring people out there that will listen to you and do exactly what you want. I just haven't been lucky enough to find one yet!

Thank you again for your encouragement in the newbie forum. :)

I invested in some shears and while things may be a bit uneven, my hair looks and feels better. Bless you.

bunnii
July 12th, 2008, 08:42 AM
My BFs mother cuts my hair and finds it odd that I want the tiniest amount cut off and i'll get the splits later on my own I just want her to tidy it for me, and there's always an argument about how much I want taking off :rolleyes: last time I asked for an inch, so she measured out a hairdresser inch, you know the kind thats actually 4 inches lol. I think she gets what I want a bit more and I always say thank you, and maybe buy her a small present for doing it so everything works out fine in the end.

mommy2one05
July 12th, 2008, 09:11 AM
this is kinda off topic, but where do you take your little boys for hair cuts? My son is almost 3 and i have taken him to the salon in Walmart and when they are done it's never a good cut and then yesterday I took him to a local barber shop but he really messed up his hair. And then when they ask what kind of cut do you want...I don't know...I always tell them just a little boys' hair cut with no part. I need to get his front fixed cause the guy yesterday made it all uneven. Ah!!!

Golden21
July 12th, 2008, 10:12 AM
I'm the kind of person who will never say anything to the hairdresser as far as correcting them, but will go away unhappy and never return to the salon. The last time I went to the salon, back in March, I wanted highlights and a trim. The highlights were about two inches from the roots- looked horrible, and she cut off way more than I wanted. I was also disappointed because she cut a lot of length off of my front hairs and I'm trying to grow them out. This was when I quit going to the salon and highlighting my hair and what lead me to come on line and find this discussion board! It was like the last straw lol.

I don't see why combing is so difficult for them at the salon. I have a very wide toothed comb and I never have trouble combing out my own hair. I often just finger comb it.

Kat
July 13th, 2008, 07:02 PM
I am so afraid of offending her if I tell her that I don't like the way she detangles it, so I do it myself before coming in. Or telling her that I'd like to detangle it myself after she washes it.

Maybe tell her that it takes so long to wash your hair and you always don't have a whole lot of time, that you do it at home first instead? Or say you use a certain special shampoo and conditioner? Or, hell...say your religion forbids you to allow others to wash your hair? :)

I haven't found a new stylist since I've moved, and I'm nervous to do so. I've heard way too many horror stories! And I don't want to have to "train" a new one! I don't suppose anybody knows of anyone good in Metro Detroit?

I pretty much always finger-comb my hair. It seems to rip the hair less than even a wide-tooth comb--I think because my fingers are more sensitive and can feel the snags.

Cinnamon.locks
July 14th, 2008, 12:39 AM
Thank you for the comments, yep i went back and spoke to the owner and showed her my scalp and hair, ( which after 2 weeks was still red and flaky.) she appologized and did suspend the lady not sure what else was done. but ever since then i ask my best friend to simply trim my hair, last big cut was done by me, and it hurt cutting so much, 15 inch braid which i have saved. she then simply fixed the hemline evenly and i feel safer and happier to get a basic trim at home where i know if i ask for 2 inches cut she will argue to take less, and then end up taking only 1 inch off. so very happy now. all other treatments i do myself, even the henna i apply myself, then ask my best friend to check and make sure i didn't miss any hair and continue what i was doing. i have a phobia now whenever i hear someone is going to a salon. my best friend does have a great salon ( the owner and stylist is special, very friendly and does whatever my friend asks. but i still feel afraid of allowing anyone but my friend and her daughter touch my hair.)

Mandie
July 14th, 2008, 02:34 AM
I haven't been to a salon in three...four...five... lol... years now and I'm glad with these stories lol. I recall the last time I went to a salon the lady cut my hair about six inches shorter than I showed her I wanted it. I literally burst into tears when she spun me around and I realized my hair was almost cut up to my ears when I'd showed her just below shoulder. I was SO ANGRY.

Worst experience was when I used to dye my hair brown and one day told my mom I wanted to be blonde again. So she took me to a salon. The lady seemed so nice and let me choose the colour I thought was closest to my original colour and everything. Then she applied that colour OVER THE BROWN.

Guess what? It didn't work.

So then she stripped the colour from my hair which was rather...uh... painful. Then she dyed it blonde. That succeeded in turning it yellow. She followed up by dying it blonde AGAIN. At this point I was in tears because my scalp was burning so badly. She kept telling me "just a few more minutes honey!"

By the time she was done with this seventy-five dollar work my hair was DESTROYED. Fried. It has NEVER been that unhealthy before. She gave me some sort of conditioner to use that absolutely failed to work for me.

My scalp was literally peeling. I could reach up to scratch an itch and find myself digging my nails into chunks of skin and peeling them off. It was disGUSTING. I was so angry. I finally went to a family friend and had her cut off a foot and a half of hair and pixie it so I could just grow out my natural colour since my hair was so destroyed there was no saving it. I was literally ripping huge tangled disgusting hunks of hair out of my head when I brushed and my hair is so smooth and straight that brushes never bothered me before that.

Stupid dye.

Otherwise I've actually had pretty decent times with hair dressers. My hair isn't long enough to warrant complaining about how it's being brushed yet LOL!

Missie
July 14th, 2008, 02:40 AM
I wonder if it would be a bit rude if I brought my own organic shampoo and conditioner with me the next time I get my re-growth done ? Do you think they would be offended? Now my hair has discovered cone free products, its dreading going to the hair dresser next Saturday

MoonCreature
July 14th, 2008, 03:09 AM
My worst experience was three years ago when I was getting a updo for out school ball. The hairdresser was totally overbooked and she didn't realise that my waist-lenght hair wouldn't be all that easy to fix. Her vision was to make it curly and have it in a half-up, so she first detangled it (ripping from top down with a fine comb) and then started putting in rollers starting at the front.

The next thing so did was the killer. For every roll she sprayed with 4-5 differents sprays to get it to hold (my hair was so darn stubborn, stupid healthy hair!). She did this to every single roll, about 50 of them. She took a small section, combed it through, put the comb to "rest" in my hair (just janked it down in it where it stayed) and sprayed, sprayed sprayed. After about 20 rolls all my hair was covered in huge amounts of hairspray and a bit matted from putting the darn comb into the hair in between that it was almost impossible to take the small sections and comb them through. This was when she got frustrated and simply started ripping the comb through the hair to get the sections. I think I lost maybe 1/10 of my hair during this.
Then I got a heatcap on, had a thobbing headace and tears in my eyes. Because she had so many clients at the same time I ended up sitting under the heatcap for about 45 minutes (mind that I had dry hair!). When she then tried to get the rollers out it was almost impossible and she ended upp ripping again. She pinned it up and applied a fake rose that was simply a decorative rose that she'd cut down and exposed the wire. The wire was really thick and she was quite weak, so she curled the wire a bit, put the rose in the right place and simply pushed it down using her body-weight. I litterally screamed out in pain.

I had a killer headace for three days, my ball-makeup was ruined due to the tears, my scalp was killing me, I'd lost tonns of hair and the updo wasn't even flattering on me... My mum went to the same hairdresser a few times after this and the hairdresser asked every single time "when is Erica comming for a trim?". Yeah right..... :taz:

Katze
July 14th, 2008, 03:12 AM
This is why I never go to salons anymore.

Since I stopped bleaching-foiling-higlighting-frying my hair, I see no need. Faye's trimming method works really well for me, and I am becoming known as the 'go to' gal for trims. A friend just asked me to do her wedding hair, and BF is starting to ask me for long hair advice.

'Professionals' are, as someone said, trained to deal with (relatively) short and processed hair. In my experience, this training does not include how to deal with fine hair, or wavy hair. So why should I give them my money?

30isthenewblack
July 14th, 2008, 03:16 AM
I've never really been happy with most hairdressers. After getting close to four inches cut off my hair when I asked for an inch at most, I've decided that I'm going to stop letting hairdressers sabotage my hair growth and ask my mum to cut my own hair. First step trying to find some decent scissors in Australia!

Riot Crrl
July 14th, 2008, 03:18 AM
I'm still kind of waiting to see how happy I can be with trimming my own hair... I've already been happy with coloring it myself for many years. Not as happy as I am now of course, I have reached the apex of self coloring.

If I can be happy with trimming it myself, I'll never go to a salon again. I just can't tell yet. It's hot and I never wear my hair down. :?

Lady Verity
July 14th, 2008, 03:34 AM
I haven't been to a hairdresser for a year or more. I've discovered the complex language of the hairdressing tribe to be hopelessly beyond my anthropological understanding. For example:

No fringe, please = I simply must have a fringe, please.
Half an inch off the bottom, please = I secretly long for a 20s 'bob.
I am trying to grow it long = I also keep 10,000 cats.
It's fine and dry = reach for that hot straightening iron, would you kindly?
I am very attached to my hair = please release me of this burden.
I really don't think gel is a good idea = but I'm probably wrong.

They scare me.

30isthenewblack
July 14th, 2008, 03:42 AM
I'm still kind of waiting to see how happy I can be with trimming my own hair... I've already been happy with coloring it myself for many years. Not as happy as I am now of course, I have reached the apex of self coloring.

If I can be happy with trimming it myself, I'll never go to a salon again. I just can't tell yet. It's hot and I never wear my hair down. :?

I'm scared to trim my own hair but not as scared as hairdressers. The worst that can happen is that it is trimmed a bit unevenly but curly hair hides a lot of sins :D

Riot Crrl
July 14th, 2008, 03:50 AM
I'm scared to trim my own hair but not as scared as hairdressers. The worst that can happen is that it is trimmed a bit unevenly but curly hair hides a lot of sins :D

Yep!

My last hair cut was layered and cut wet... and was totally even. Then it shrunk up about two inches more on the left than it did on the right. :?

MoonCreature
July 14th, 2008, 03:53 AM
I haven't been to a hairdresser for a year or more. I've discovered the complex language of the hairdressing tribe to be hopelessly beyond my anthropological understanding. For example:

No fringe, please = I simply must have a fringe, please.
Half an inch off the bottom, please = I secretly long for a 20s 'bob.
I am trying to grow it long = I also keep 10,000 cats.
It's fine and dry = reach for that hot straightening iron, would you kindly?
I am very attached to my hair = please release me of this burden.
I really don't think gel is a good idea = but I'm probably wrong.

They scare me.

You're not alone on this... I actually thougth that the next time I went for a trim I would get them to sign a contract that says that they can cut 1 inch and for every inch past that they have to give me 40€. I bet that would brake the language-barrier ;)

blondecat
July 14th, 2008, 04:59 AM
I've never really been happy with most hairdressers. After getting close to four inches cut off my hair when I asked for an inch at most, I've decided that I'm going to stop letting hairdressers sabotage my hair growth and ask my mum to cut my own hair. First step trying to find some decent scissors in Australia!



If your in south Australia, I could help :)

Unofficial_Rose
July 14th, 2008, 06:27 AM
I haven't been to a hairdresser for a year or more. I've discovered the complex language of the hairdressing tribe to be hopelessly beyond my anthropological understanding. For example:

No fringe, please = I simply must have a fringe, please.
Half an inch off the bottom, please = I secretly long for a 20s 'bob.
I am trying to grow it long = I also keep 10,000 cats.
It's fine and dry = reach for that hot straightening iron, would you kindly?
I am very attached to my hair = please release me of this burden.
I really don't think gel is a good idea = but I'm probably wrong.

They scare me.


Hahaha! :rollin:Me too.
(Also thank you for this. I am having a day when I feel that I would be happier with short, blonde hair. Hmm, yeah, can't wait to spend all those precious Saturdays in the hairdresser paying a fortune to have my hair murdered. :rolleyes: Actually the upkeep played a major part in my going au naturel! )

jivete
July 14th, 2008, 01:03 PM
For the last several years I've had layers, so I felt I had to go to the salon, but I was also trying to grow my hair longer (with the layers). Two month was pushing it for waiting for trims since my hair is pretty thin (2.25" circumference pony tail) and fine so the ends tend to get ratty with any kind of abuse. Every time I'd go in I'd request 1/4 to 1/2" trim and I think every time they'd take 1" or so off and every once in a while, more. I could never get my hair to grow. People'd say, just don't cut it and I'd say, it starts to self trim if I don't.

Well once I found no poo, I was scared of cones and styling creams so I went one last time to a cheapo hair place and told the girl I barely wanted any off and I'd tip really well if she could and I know I'm being a pain but please, please don't trim too much. And she did a great job and even with a generous tip, I still paid 1/3 that I did at the salon.

Luckily since I found no poo, my hair went from mostly straight to pretty wavy. Now the layers look really bad. So trimming my own hair will be easy, especially since it's finally past APL.

I do miss the salon experience. So I'm going to experiment with letting them trim/style my bangs this wednesday. If it doesn't work out the way I'd like, I'm just going to grow them out and do some faux bangs styles. The nice thing about not going to the salon is I can take the money I save and get a facial instead. :D

shellblue1
July 14th, 2008, 03:08 PM
My friends and family don't understand why I trust a beauty school more than a salon, but it's precisely because of ego. The students listen to EXACTLY what I want, and they have an uncanny ability to do what I'm asking (even when I can't explain myself all that well). If I were to ask for something completely off-the-wall I'm sure they'd gently try to persuade me in a different direction, but they're wonderfully eager to please. Not only do I save money, but my hair always comes out perfectly every time.

I agree, beauty schools can be great. I go to the Toni & Guy Hairdressing Academy in Carrollton, Texas and usually get a great job done there. The teachers oversee the students and help them, so you get a professional stylist's work done for a fraction of the price. Plus, the students tend to listen to what you want. Of course if I asked for something off-the-wall (which I kind of have), they also try to do what you want, which is very nice! :)

vindo
July 14th, 2008, 03:40 PM
My (step) Grandfather trims my hair. He used to own a trendy salon, and he's good at what he does. The only problem is that, at first, he got offended at my request to be extremely gentle with my hair - and letting me comb it out before he cuts it. The very first time he gave me a trim - he wet my hair and then tried to comb it out. I do the detangling myself since then.

So my question to you guys is -

Have hairdressers or anyone else in general been offended or "weirded out" by your request of being gentle with your hair?

Yes that has happened to me and made me stop going to a hairdresser.:p

30isthenewblack
July 14th, 2008, 03:50 PM
If your in south Australia, I could help :)

What a shame that I don't live in South Australia but thank you very much for your offer of help :)

Kat
July 14th, 2008, 04:21 PM
When my partner's sister got married, I was singing in the wedding so she asked me if I also wanted to have my hair done at the salon. I said, "I don't think they'd know what to do with me!" and said I'd do it myself. And it was probably true. I don't think my hair would go into the cutesy updos most people do because it's so long and thick. I didn't want a half-up style. And I didn't want them to just throw it in a bun or something (and then try to pin it with conventional bobby pins! It would take a million pins to keep it up, and 20 years to get them out, and they'd rip my hair besides! I use the Good Hair Days pins, which hold a lot more hair than regular bobby pins do).

I made two braids and wove ribbons through that were the same as the wedding colors, then put the two braids into a bun. Essentially I used the same style I use for dance performances/competitions, and it looked nice.

girlcat36
July 14th, 2008, 05:06 PM
I am totally salon phobic, and my friends/family make fun of me for it. This goes for hair, makeup, nails, skin, eyebrows,etc.
The last time I went to a regular salon and got a 'haircut/style' was 1989. After that, I would go to the Pro-cuts sporadically to get a 1/2 trim(which always turned into 3"). Finally, 4 years ago, after Pro-cuts made my BSL hair shoulder-length, I started having my daughter trim my hair, but even she took off a little too much. I think I will always trim my own hair now.

WritingPrincess
July 14th, 2008, 05:14 PM
I'm scared to trim my own hair but not as scared as hairdressers. The worst that can happen is that it is trimmed a bit unevenly but curly hair hides a lot of sins :D
And, if you wear it up a lot, no one will know. :D



My worst experience was three years ago when I was getting a updo for out school ball. The hairdresser was totally overbooked and she didn't realise that my waist-lenght hair wouldn't be all that easy to fix. Her vision was to make it curly and have it in a half-up, so she first detangled it (ripping from top down with a fine comb) and then started putting in rollers starting at the front.

The next thing so did was the killer. For every roll she sprayed with 4-5 differents sprays to get it to hold (my hair was so darn stubborn, stupid healthy hair!). She did this to every single roll, about 50 of them. She took a small section, combed it through, put the comb to "rest" in my hair (just janked it down in it where it stayed) and sprayed, sprayed sprayed. After about 20 rolls all my hair was covered in huge amounts of hairspray and a bit matted from putting the darn comb into the hair in between that it was almost impossible to take the small sections and comb them through. This was when she got frustrated and simply started ripping the comb through the hair to get the sections. I think I lost maybe 1/10 of my hair during this.
Then I got a heatcap on, had a thobbing headace and tears in my eyes. Because she had so many clients at the same time I ended up sitting under the heatcap for about 45 minutes (mind that I had dry hair!). When she then tried to get the rollers out it was almost impossible and she ended upp ripping again. She pinned it up and applied a fake rose that was simply a decorative rose that she'd cut down and exposed the wire. The wire was really thick and she was quite weak, so she curled the wire a bit, put the rose in the right place and simply pushed it down using her body-weight. I litterally screamed out in pain.

I had a killer headace for three days, my ball-makeup was ruined due to the tears, my scalp was killing me, I'd lost tonns of hair and the updo wasn't even flattering on me... My mum went to the same hairdresser a few times after this and the hairdresser asked every single time "when is Erica comming for a trim?". Yeah right..... :taz:
:eek: :scared: :scared: :scared: :shudder: