So frustrated- all advice greatly welcome

[Freija]

In the last year I decided to grow my hair LONG, and since then it's gone from a chin-length graduated bob to collarbone length, had the dye stripped out of it, and been hennaed. Surprisingly, it's now in fantastic condition, glowy red and after my last trim seems to have very few split ends... as long as I don't use heat on it.

Which is a problem, since it's in a layered cut designed to be kept straight, and if I leave it to airdry it DOES end up super-shiny and silky-soft but still... hideous-looking. It's just so shapeless without styling; midway between straight and fuzzy waves with a few halfhearted ringlets thrown in for luck. The hairs themselves aren't coarse, but there's *loads* of them.

I don't even know what type my hair is supposed to be if cared for properly, or how to care for it the way it is now. I've taken to pulling it back in two mini-plaits or a ponytail out of sheer irritation, though I would love to have it loose. Any advice would be absolutely fantastic- I love the colour and condition of my hair but I'm at my wits' end with the way it falls!

[sedonia]

Hi Freija:

I don't have any advice for right now, but I just wanted to say that my hair would do absolutely nothing between chin and collarbone length. I just gritted my teeth until it got a bit longer.

You might try a styling product for curly hair and scrunching it as it dries? Or maybe a blowdryer set on cool with a diffuser to try to maximize the curl?

Sedonia

[Freija]

Thanks! I tried scrunching it this evening, actually, but I couldn't make it work. Once it started drying it didn't want to sit right.

This might sound stupid, but what's the 'best' or 'correct' way to scrunch-dry hair?

[Nightshade]

I remember that Rini had posted a way to pin hair so it dried straight. Aha! Here it is! (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=44627)

[Siava]

Cute headbands were my best friends at that length. So was just pulling it back.

[lady_hero]

I'm in the same boat. My hair is just past shoulder length, and it won't do anything! I'm wearing it half up right now, but headbands and ponytails work too :-/

[amaiaisabella]

Mine was like that when I first started growing it out; it just fell in odd waves/twists and didn't hang right. As soon as I was able to, I put it in a ponytail or in a french twist every day. It's grown about two inches and hangs a lot better now :)

There are also ways to change how it dries; maybe you could put it up when it is wet to change its fall pattern?

[Ohio Sky]

Tiny clippies were my best friend at your length.

Lots and lots of them.

[Freija]

Thanks, everyone! It's really reassuring to know that you've all been through it, and that I'm not just going to be sentenced to either bad hair or wrecked hair for the rest of my days! Unfortunately with my current style, hairbands do not fare well... but I'll have to get some cute clips and Nightshade- I'll definitely try the method of pinning it! Mostly, I think I need to concentrate on growing the very short topmost layers out.

By the way- any ideas on what my hair type might be, in terms of waviness? If it helps at all I used to have tight natural ringlets as a child.

[Siava]

We'd have to see a picture. Got one?

[lora410]

Oh yeah I have soo been there with my wavy hair. the good news is once it gets some weight it gets better. Have you tried putting some oil on your hair when wet? or trying a bit of aloe vera gel?

[peachy.pudding]

I pull my hair back when damp and take it down when it drys, that way i get the 1a look

[sedonia]

Thanks! I tried scrunching it this evening, actually, but I couldn't make it work. Once it started drying it didn't want to sit right.

This might sound stupid, but what's the 'best' or 'correct' way to scrunch-dry hair?

Don't comb it after washing. Just blot dry with a towel, apply some styling product, and scrunch. If you are air drying, scrunch several times while its drying. If you need to part it, try to do so with minimal combing. The important thing is to try not to disturb the clumps, waves, locks and/or ringlets that form after washing.

Sedonia

[QueenBea]

You are my twin :) My hair looked so sleek when I blow dried the layers; not so good now. Waves, ringlets, fuzz like yours.

Mine is about APL now, almost, and I STILL can rarely wear it down. It's very humid where I live too, which doesn't help. I have gone back to using some cones (I didn't today, and it's wretched) and I pull it back.

My best friends have been:
--Getting trims every two or three months to get the layers out--it stayed at shoulder length for 6-9 months. But WORTH IT. They are gone now, and that helped with the weird ends sticking out;
--Peacock twist. I know my friends and family are sick of this hairdo. But--it's what my hair can do right now! If I do it slightly damp, I can usually take it down a few hours later and it's smooth enough to wear down if I want to, looking "okay";
--Lots of water--when I pull it back, I spray the top with water or water mixed with oil and aloe vera and smooth it down. Multiple times during the day;
--I *do* blowdry/straighten my bangs most days so at least the front looks pretty. But now they are nose length and I'm debating about stopping the styling and working on seriously growing them out; that's my new "issue" to work through, sigh

Good luck,
Bea





In the last year I decided to grow my hair LONG, and since then it's gone from a chin-length graduated bob to collarbone length, had the dye stripped out of it, and been hennaed. Surprisingly, it's now in fantastic condition, glowy red and after my last trim seems to have very few split ends... as long as I don't use heat on it.

Which is a problem, since it's in a layered cut designed to be kept straight, and if I leave it to airdry it DOES end up super-shiny and silky-soft but still... hideous-looking. It's just so shapeless without styling; midway between straight and fuzzy waves with a few halfhearted ringlets thrown in for luck. The hairs themselves aren't coarse, but there's *loads* of them.

I don't even know what type my hair is supposed to be if cared for properly, or how to care for it the way it is now. I've taken to pulling it back in two mini-plaits or a ponytail out of sheer irritation, though I would love to have it loose. Any advice would be absolutely fantastic- I love the colour and condition of my hair but I'm at my wits' end with the way it falls!

[Riot Crrl]

My theory is: you are a secret curly, uninitiated in the ways of ridiculous amounts of product usage.

[Ohio Sky]

My theory is: you are a secret curly, uninitiated in the ways of ridiculous amounts of product usage.

Sounds like it. here's (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=5) the hairtyping article, in case you haven't found it yet. You sound like a possible 2c, but it's hard to tell without a picture, and of course, as your hair grows and you change techniques, there will always be a little deviation.

Going on the assumption that you're really a curly, I would say coconut oil and wide tooth combs are in your future. Both will help the frizzies. Most have good luck with coconut oil (especially in the curly category, it seems like) but you may find another one that works better for you.

Brushing is a no-no for most curlies.

Browse the boards and find the curly thread, if you determine you're really a curly in denial. Ther's lots of good advice.

Hope that helps :flower:

[Islandgrrl]

Freija, my hair was a nightmare at that length, too. Straight but not straight. Wavy but not wavy enough. A zillion different lengths and a zillion + 1 cowlicks. My solution was to make liberal use of foam rollers at night. Not very sexy, to be sure, but the resulting hair certainly was! On the days this wasn't practical, I made liberal use of headbands and clippies and tried to forget I had hair.

The good news is that the longer it gets, the easier it is to deal with. There are more awkward stages, but nothing so horrible as chin to shoulder. At least in my opinion. :)

[burns_erin]

I have relied on those lovely new headbands, the kind that look like plastic but are actually very pliable.

[Presto]

Oh yeah! Jelly headbands rule! So awesome for keeping unruly bits out of your eyes.
You are still fairly short, at that length I used flat snap barrettes. Don't really know what they are called, they open when you flex them. One over each ear, so it looked like my hair was long enough to tuck behind my ears.
I hope you find a good solution or two to get you to a length!

[thankyousir74]

Yeah my hair can't do much either at this length. I usually just french braid, and maybe its to get a good start on good habits.

No real advice but just acknowledging that we're in the same boat :/

[vidgrl007]

The good news is it does get better and clippies,headbands, and a whole slew of hairtoys 4 shorties:)and a whole lotta support.

The bad news is its going to drive you insane while at the akward stage so as someone else said "try putting it up and forget you have hair" lol.gl remember you can do it:).

[aprilmay]

Gradually, the weight of your hair will cause it smooth out a bit. I can't comment on layers because the only time I had them was when my hair was spiral permed in the late eighties.

[Riot Crrl]

Gradually, the weight of your hair will cause it smooth out a bit.

That is true to a degree, but it depends on hair type. All hair types, grown long enough, will eventually lose some curl (if there was any) to gravity. But some hair types will grow very long before this happens. Some hair types will curl more after reaching a certain length.

[detritus]

My hair is about at the same length and I'm having similar annoyances. Are there too many layers to pull it back into pigtails? Lately all I seem to do with my hair is put it in pigtails, two small scrunchy buns or two French braids. You don't need as much length to do two of something as you do to do one of something. I'm never happy wearing my hair down because it's not quite wavy enough to look nice at this length and I don't want to use heat to straighten it.

[Deborah]

Would you consider good old fashioned (gasp) rollers? If you wear them to bed your hair will be all one level of straightness or curliness, and will probably be lovely. The ones made of wire and covered with mesh are not too uncomfy, and the pink foam rollers I wore as a child aren't too bad either.

Good luck! What everyone says is true, it will be much easier when your hair is a few inches longer. Short to shoulder length is really tough to control. A bit longer and your hair practically takes care of itself. :)

[mommy2one05]

Oh yeah! Jelly headbands rule! So awesome for keeping unruly bits out of your eyes.
You are still fairly short, at that length I used flat snap barrettes. Don't really know what they are called, they open when you flex them. One over each ear, so it looked like my hair was long enough to tuck behind my ears.
I hope you find a good solution or two to get you to a length!


What are jelly headbands?
What do they look like and where do you get them?

[Bucatini]

I'm with Riot Crrl that you might be a secret curly. I always thought I was just a frizzball, turns out that I don't form a complete curl pattern until APL or longer.

[Freija]

Thanks so much everyone (just a quick message- it's ten to five in the mornig here but I couldn't just log off without saying SOMETHING for all your wonderful support!). I'll definitely get a photo up in the morning- I'm quite excited a the prospect of being a secret curly! I think there's definitely a lot of truth in the idea that I should 'tie it back and forget about it', especially since the less I stress my hair now trying to wear it down, the more glorious it'll be when it really *is* long enough to just enjoy. I've worked out that at the current rate, it should be just brushing APL by Christmas!

Though not versed in product is right. About the most I've ever used on my hair is shampoo, conditioner and a bit of wax to seperate the layers (and brushing. It's bad, but I always brush my damp hair to part it and detangle). I've never been one to whack a lot of anything on my hair, but if I found the right stuff I wouldn't hesitate!

[Rini]

Just want to say that I feel for you :flowers: ....I am right there with you.

I'm alot straighter on top than I am underneath, so at this length I have that really attractive "bunching" of the underneath layers (all clumping in fat ringlets) and the top layer just hangs over the top of it all. Awful!! My recent solution (besides wearing it up 99.9% of the time) is to wear a half-up. I usually just clip the sides at the back with a butterfly clip or I braid them together (like in henna pic in sig) and then at least I can show off some hair in the underneath layers, even if it is just 4 or 5 huge clumps of ringlets.

Another thing that keeps me going is Curlsgirl's assurance that my hair WILL get better with more length :D

HTH

PS: Step away from the brush!!! Put it in a cupboard and never speak of it again.

[sputnik]

just wanted to add I feel your pain. My hair is some yet undetermined wave/wurl/curl combination and just at shoulder (well actually it would be just below but it curls more as it is growing and so seems to be remaining the same length :P ). I sport a lot of ponytails.

[Freija]

Here are some pics I snapped this morning- the result of me getting out of bed and doing absolutely nothing to it. Last night I tried to scrunch it (so there was a little bit of mousse in there) but it didn't work so I brushed it out as straight as I could get it and added a tiny amount of wax. For the most part, though, that's how it goes.

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/5999/hairrxj1.jpg

(Also is it still curly if it behaves itself on top? 'Cause you can see mine will lie pretty straight up there)

Thanks ^^;

[Freija]

Oh- I'd love to play about with rollers. Thanks for the heads-up! Any that are particularly good?

[Melian]

Freija your picture doesn't load, but it sounds to me your either a wurly or a secret curly. Ditch the brush, put it up and forget about it for a while. When it gets longer it will behave better (I know I had frizz of doom between chin and shoulder it would not do anything).

[Katze]

Freija, you definitely look very wavy, if not curly, to me. The messiness of your 'do has something fresh and young; I'd sure play it up if I had your thickness and wave!

That length can be awkward, but two pigtails, or little claw clips, or barettes, are your friends, as is scrunching...

That said, I can totally and completely understand your pain. I grew out from a collarbone length 'shag cut' ´heavily layered, oh so trendy back in '04, and when I stopped bleaching, ironing, blowdrying, it was a MESS. Suddenly the 'bumps' in my hair stuck out every which way, not even piecy waves like yours, and my hair was so thin that everyone told me it would never get long, and I should just cut it. :(

Fast forward. LHC! Moisture! Gentler treatment, and suddenly I am LIKING my hair. At least most of the time...

I strongly suspect that more moisture - your hair will tell you how much, but you have to experiment - CO? (washing with just conditioner) WO (water only)? CWC (shampoo with condish. before and after?) Oiling? these are just a few of the options that will help you give your lovely, thick, wavy hair the moisture it wants to form ringlets (it might need to get longer for that, but it WILL grow).

Don't be so hard on your hair. there are LOTS of us here who have gone through what you're going through, or similar, and have come out the other side with beautiful hair. Some of us are STILL struggling, but can see light at the end of the tunnel.

There's some great advice here already; hopefully, you can pick one or two things to try that work for you.

:flower:

Katze

[Freija]

Thanks Katze! Thing is, I tend to wash my hair every day or other day with shampoo and conditioner or it ends up terribly greasy. But maybe it only gets greasy so fast because there's not enough moisture in the first place?

I'll definitely ditch the brush- but are there any effective ways to lose the tangle without it? I find that with no product on it I can lose the wave definition and end up with anonymous fuzz just by finger-combing. But I'm not keen on the feel of my hair with lots of product... or lots of the WRONG product!

Your hair looks lovely in your sig., though. It's such a soft, pretty colour!

[Kelpie]

I am going with the suggestion that you are an unkowing curly. I first discovered that I was curly and not just frizzy and pouffy when I was 16 when I left my hair to dry without doing anything to it instead of brushing it.
As I test I think you should comb your hair in the shower with a wide tooth comb to part and detangle it. Then give a quick rinse and squeeze it to get rid of the drips. You can also pat it gently with a towel.
At this stage you can use some gel. But be careful not to break up the clumps that your hair has probably formed and do this while the hair is still quite wet. I use aloe vera gel which is very light. You can miss this but the gel helps to define the curls.
Now don't touch you hair with anything, no combs, brushes or hands, until it is completly dry. Even when it is dry never brush or even comb as this will break up the curls and your hair will get very big. See the brushed curlies thread as a warning against that. :D
Your hair is still quite short so you may not see any full curls but it will hopefully tame it a bit. Even if you are not curly and just wavy this should still help against frizz. Although there may still be a certain degree of frizz which is something I am only just learning to live with. There are always some hairs that escape from the curls and go their own way.

I hope the lecture helps ;)

[Bucatini]

Oh my gosh now seeing that photo you are so a wavy in hiding! Moisture, moisture moisture! It's beautiful and looks very shiny already, but don't forget that what's there now is going to be around for a long time. Once there's enough length to complete a turn, you'll have big soft waves. Lucky girl!

[Freija]

Bucatini - thankyou! Oh, now I can't wait to see what it looks like when it grows more (I want it to the tops of my hips within the next few years).

What category do you think I am, though? I just guessed with the 2c.

[Freija]

Kelpie - just out of the shower, following a CO wash and gentle comb while *in* there. I've patted/scrunched my damp hair with a t-shirt and run a little Alow Vera gel through; I'm now awaiting the results!

[Peggy E.]

I'm wondering if you couldn't wear a "peacock" twist? This is when you twist the hair up like you do for a french twist, only the top of the strands are left out above the twist. It looks really cute on hair your length.

I am so thankful I never had that layering to deal with, as do so many people here. It eventually grows out, but it does seem to create a lot of angst-filled hair-days until it reaches the goal set for each individual.

[feralnature]

I couldn't get the pic to load either :(

I had an inverted, or "stacked" bob a year ago. It was horrible growing out the layers. My siggy pig was taken in Jan. 08 after about a year of growing out layers and a major haircut to trim out damage Nov.07. I used lots of clips to keep hairs back. Now my hair is past my shoulders....yeah!

[Riot Crrl]

Aha, my curly-fu is strong.

Moisturize heavily, add a bunch of gel, scrunch and don't touch till it dries. Then when it's totally dry scrunch one more time to relieve the crunchiness and wet look.

Do not worry about the flat top, embrace the flat top. :)

[Freija]

Oh my goodness, I think I AM a secret curly! Below are a couple of photos of my almost dry/dry hair.

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/7600/curl1vg0.jpg

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/1052/curl2cs6.jpg

I let it air-dry while scrunching liberal amounts of aloe gel into it at strategic intervals, but something with a little more hold might be good? I just want to avoid the next-day 'sticky' feel ^^;

[Riot Crrl]

Some gels are stickier than others. Even firm hold ones don't have to be sticky. But... even the good ones are usually kind of sticky if you touch them in between applying and being completely dry.

[aprilmay]

Knowing is half the battle, supposedly. I hope figuring out your hair type is helpful!

[MotherConfessor]

Welcome to the wild world of curls. You will come to love moisturizer, fear brushes, and resist the urge to ***** slap people who come up to you and "boing" your curls. And as AprilMay said, knowing really is half the battle. Look in on the curly thread, and remember to let your hair do what comes natural to it. That said, I personally prefer curling cremes and mousses over gel. I hate the sticky.

By the way, your hair is beautiful, I love the color.

[Golden21]

I just read through this entire thread and discovered something! I have always hated my hair when it is air dried, so I never do it. I tried air drying today for the first time in years and I thought it looked horrible, but I think that I am also a wavy/curly. I think that my hair has looked so bad after air drying because I comb it while it dries and then comes out really frizzy, but this makes sense if I am a wavy or curly because I have been doing everything wrong! Thanks for all of the info on here!