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View Full Version : I treated my hair badly and I am desperate to fix the damage. Need advice.



Magsi
November 26th, 2011, 02:34 AM
I used to come to this forum a lot when I was growing my hair. Now I am back because I know there is no better place than here to get some great haircare advice.

I think long hair is beautiful, but due to my impatience and helplessness, I always give up trying to grow it and I get a cut. As it's growing, it becomes frizzy and puffy, which is very unattractive to me, so I feel I have to use styling tools to keep it looking healthy. Those styling tools ruin my hair and then it looks even worse. I then feel so fed up, I go to the salon and they cut off all the damage and leave my hair short. It needs constant styling when it's short or it's too poofy. I look best with long hair. It's wavy so it looks good without styling as long as it has some length/weight to it. I will find a pic from (many) years ago when my hair was longer and will show how nice it looked natural.

My biggest problems are damage from bleaching and coloring. I bleached over hair dye, wore it blonde, then dyed it brown again.

Right now my color is very similar to my natural shade, a very faint warm brown. I have not had a hair cut in about 5 months and my hair is just about touching my shoulders. I would love to have waistline long hair!!

I want to heal the damage so that my hair can continue to grow with minimal non-permanent coloring.

My problems are that my roots are oozing grease while the ends are very dry and frizzy. My hair is fine, with slight male pattern baldness starting to show. I don't have a lot of hair. My hair lacks moisture and shine.

What are some products and treatments, at home remedies, etc that can help me heal my hair?
I am not worried about cost or difficulty level of treatments, I just want to save my hair.

The last treatment I did was virgin coconut oil in my hair overnight. It seemed to make my hair a little shinier, but it was still quite dry.

Anyone with ideas, please respond.
TIA :)

Tota
November 26th, 2011, 03:38 AM
I also have oily scalp and dry ends, wavy baby fine hair with a bit of balding on my forehead.

What really works for me is CWC and ACV rinse, no heat tools, styling products or dyes and using Daktarin on my scalp every night before wash day. Daktarin helped me to get back some thickness on my balding area. I also eat Brewer's Yeast pills. I try not to mess too much with my hair, I use wide tooth comb only before washing, and then I finger comb my hair when needed (because I want to keep the waves). I wear my hair in a bun overnight or in a braid and I wash my hair twice a week (before joining LHC I used to wash it every day). I think that ACV rinse really helped me to stretch washes. I also keep myself away from salons (because in that case, my hair will never be long). I S&D every forthnight and microtrim every 4 months.

I'm no expert, but this really really works for me. My hair will never be perfect, because it's fine and thin and so damn fragile, but now it is as healthy as it can be and I'll just have to be happy with that :) If you put some effort to it, you will most definitely find a routine that will work for you.

Falcore
November 26th, 2011, 03:59 AM
Hi, I know how you feel, I had tailbone hair (unstreched) and due to bleach and dye and purely not understanding how to look after my hair I woke up and realised it had broken away to BSL!

Anyway, I would firstly suggest to have some patience (yes it's hard 'cause you want long now) but we all know it just doesn't work like that, unfortunately.

As for products and treatments have you tried a SMT? Also, do you shampoo your hair? If you're only greasy on the roots you could experiment with just shampooing the roots and not your ends.

There are other oils you might want to try as well. Some people find the coconut oil makes their ends crunchy. You could mix half and half with some olive oil to see how that goes. At the moment I'm loving jojoba oil. My hair drinks it up and it does not sit heavy on hair at all.

I'm sure you'll get loads of good advice on here. You'll find what works for you to tame your hair so you can then break that vicious cycle.

You'll be at waist length in no time :)

Firefly River
November 26th, 2011, 04:01 AM
I agree with the ACV that Tota said. I haven't ever tried it, but from what I read on here it works wonders.

I've been to the damaged end of the hair spectrum and know what you mean. The best you can honestly do is to just pamper it and feel happy that you did so, because you're still protecting those ends from frizzing up more, and you're going to cut them off later probably anyway. Try protein treatments. Use egg on your hair (I forget which part has the most protein, you could look it up, but I'd use whole eggs until you know just to be safe). Hair is made from protein, specifically keratin. So another (and less natural) alternative you can do is go buy a hair product with keratin in it (try amazon, your local beauty supplier, etc.) and use that product on your hair. There are shampoos and conditioners, leave in shine serums, leave in conditioners, deep treatments/masks, etc. with keratin in them. In fact some salons offer protein treatments which usually have keratin proteins in them. (Some products have different proteins which work, like silk protein, but keratin is the same protein that makes up hair, so that is probably the best.) Note that keratin won't add protein permanently to your hair, it coats it kind of, to prevent more damage and to temporarily fill in the areas your hair has been depleted of it.

Other than that, maybe a weekly extra virgin coconut or olive oil deep treatment would be highly beneficial to your hair, and don't underestimate the importance of a healthy shampoo and conditioner. If you use them often (probably more than thrice a week) then it's one of the main products that really alter your hair ph and health. It can strip your hair of much of its moisture and really can affect softness and shine and make it dry and frizzy, or it can leave residue that makes your hair feel gross and plasticy-sticky or flat.

It'll get better, well at least your hair condition, if you leave it alone for awhile from the salon and just let it grow. I started this year with damaged, really short hair, and how it's shiny, healthy, and the ends are still damaged, but doing better with about two trims. As your hair grows, you can do what I'm doing and just trim little tiny bits off the most damaged areas. That way it's not all cut off at once and you're left with short short hair.

Kaeita
November 26th, 2011, 04:13 AM
You could try preening to bring the oils down to the ends of your hair. I do this before plaiting/braiding my hair before I sleep. It's usually very soft in the morning. I sometimes use jojoba oil on wet hair (length/ends) to hold the moisture in a bit. Avocado oil on dry hair worked well for me too. Using less shampoo, or a very mild shampoo, will help with both the grease and the dryness, as will shampooing only the scalp. You could also try CO washing, to see if that helps (using conditioner instead of shampoo to wash with).

I also like doing ktani's oil shampoo method using coconut oil and a very mild shampoo. I started with a 1:1 ratio, which made my hair a bit oily, so I reduced the amount of oil, and soon found the ratio that worked for me. It does help to clarify before starting; I used sodium bicarbonate diluted in water, with a dilute vinegar rinse.

I've read a lot about the SMT, and using coconut milk as a soak, for moisturising hair, but haven't yet used these methods.

I hope you're able to find a solution!

Panth
November 26th, 2011, 04:15 AM
To be frank, there is nothing you can do that will 'heal' your hair. Hair is dead and, once it has left the follicle, there is nothing that you can do that will reverse damage.

What you can do is grow fresh hair that is healthy and undamaged that will gradually replace your damaged hair. The main things you need to do for that to happen are to look after your body (balanced diet, plenty of water, exercise - a healthy body has the resources to make healthy hair) and to practice patience. There are, of course, variations in hair care, washing techniques, etc. but those really are the icing on the cake and also will be very much dependent on your hairtype.

Mina17
November 26th, 2011, 04:35 AM
One of the keys is to find a way to stop using the styling tools that are continuing to damage your hair. To help with the frizz and puffiness you could try aloe vera gel, leave-in conditioners, or alcohol-free styling gels. A heavy oiling of the length before shampooing works well for me also.

My hair is wavy too and right now I'm loving Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and L.A. Looks Nutra Curl Moisturizing Gel. You can also try any regular conditioner as a leave-in.

PaganPriestess
November 26th, 2011, 04:52 AM
I have an oily scalp and dry ends as well. The night before I wash my hair, I use about a palm-full of olive oil and rub it into my ends. I take the remnants of what's on my hands and coat the rest of the length and a little on my scalp, until my hands no longer have oil on them. I then brush my hair & put it up in a bun for the night. Then the next day I shampoo and condition as usual. I like Dove's Intensive Therapy for Moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. I shampoo, then condition focusing on the ends, then leave the conditioner on while I wash my body and shave my legs and do all my other shower stuff, then I wash out the conditioner at the last second, followed with a cold rinse before I get out. Hope this helps!

PaganPriestess
November 26th, 2011, 04:53 AM
Oh and I have totally stopped using heat. I do occasionally blowdry, but I use it on the cool setting with the ion switch on, so it's not nearly as damaging.

Alvrodul
November 26th, 2011, 05:03 AM
I am afraid there is no way to heal damaged hair. There are things you can do to make the damage less apparent or cover it up, but once the hair has damage, it is there to stay.
As for the problem you have with scalp being very oily and the length being dry and fluffy, I would suggest you have a good look at the products you use. Products that strip the scalp of its natural oils are apt to make it produce even more oil to make up for what it has lost. I would suggest that you try out some fairly mild shampoos, preferably without SLS, and perhaps also dilute the shampoo with water.
I also recommend SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128), and I would also suggest you try out coconut oil on your length - a teeny-tiny amount as leave-in, and/or a more generous amount as a pre-wash treatment. Coconut oil helps prevent protein loss, and since you have damaged hair, you don't want to lose more protein.

One additional piece of advice: When you start to experiment with your routine, don't subject your poor hair to a whole slew of changes and new treatments all at once - it is bound to freak out, and you will never know what works for you and what your hair hates! Do one change, wait two weeks or so to see how your hair reacts, and then introduce something new.

Good luck - and have patience1

skyblue
November 26th, 2011, 06:29 AM
my ends use to get really dry too, I started to put just a little oil on my ends only, at the time I used Africa's Best Organic Oil blend that stuff works wonders, since joining here I learned that build up in your hair can cause dry ends, maybe a good clarifying shampoo followed by a good thick conditioner on your length then just CO for a few weeks and see what happens
It really does take a while, patience and babying your hair is key
Oh and check out the article's here lots of great info

ktani
November 26th, 2011, 07:13 AM
As it has been said, you cannot heal damage.

However, there are a number of ways to help strengthen your hair to help prevent further damage from daily stresses.

There are protein treatments, best used over clarified hair and with directions strictly followed. Such treatments need to be immediately followed by a moiusturizing treatment to rebalance the moisture level of the hair.

The oil shampoo method can help too or you can use coconut oil as a pre-treatment, on clarified hair and followed with a mild shampoo that does not build-up.

If you do not like these methods, you can simply use products of your choice to help keep your hair moisturized and strong and clarify when needed to help prevent dryness and tangling from build-up caused by ETA: shampoos, styling aids, conditioners and heavy treatments.

Magsi
November 26th, 2011, 11:10 AM
This is all amazing advice! Thank you everyone.

Firefly
November 26th, 2011, 11:16 AM
BTDT! As others have said, pampering was what worked best for me. It was SO hard to go through that in-between stage where I felt it looked awful all the time (for me, that was between collar bone and waist). Find a cute style that works (bun, bandana, whatever) and just stick with that for a while to help you coast through that stage. (Confession: I did fall off the wagon a couple of times and heat styled. ;) But it was better than heat styling every day, like I used to.)

Patience! You'll get there. :)

spidermom
November 26th, 2011, 11:23 AM
I would also recommend regular very small trims to slow eliminate the damaged ends. I'm talking maybe trimming off 1/4 - 1/2 inch every 2 months, such a small amount that you won't particularly feel the difference, but it will go a long way toward improving the condition of your hair.

Olive oil and coconut oil are both good for pre-wash oilings. I do mine the night before I plan to wash (if I don't forget). Don't make a special effort to get every trace of oil out of your hair. You actually want to leave a bit in the ends.

Ice~Cold~Wind
November 26th, 2011, 12:40 PM
I've had this issue too, and like you, I broke down and cut all my hair off out of frustration. Right now my ends aren't dry per se, but they feel rough. You might want to try switching shampoo or conditioner as I've noticed with my hair that certain brands affect my hair differently. What works for some, may not work for others of course. ;) Build up also, as someone else said, can make your hair seem limp and almost dead. Lots of pampering and experimenting with different things like oiling, clarifying and being gentler with your hair may help. I wish I had some better advice!

WaterMusic
November 26th, 2011, 01:56 PM
You should also check out this awesome article (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79) by Nightshade.

Good luck!

alyaziaaah
November 27th, 2011, 04:25 PM
For damage control and repair you can try aphogee 2 step treatment. I tried it and it helps. Check out aphogee here on the community threads, there is a lot of info about it. Daktarin or monistat can help your hair grow faster and fill out the balding areas. Coconut oil should be used on wet or damp hair then it doesn't get crunchy. Co-washing should get rid of the oily scalp and the frizzy dry lengths and ends. I bleach fried my hair and I am doing exactly what I just wrote and it works wonders. I did aphogee 2 step, without the balancing condish, as I prefer to use something without cones, then I deep conditioned with coconut and suave naturals. And I do at the moment daily before sleeping diluted daktarin 1:1 with destilled water in a colourapplicater bottle, massage it lightly into my scalp and oil the lengths with coconut oil. In the morning I wet my hair and put suave condish on top of the oil, saran wrap it, put towel on top for warmth, have breakfast, wash it off with more suave condish, put nature's gate henna shine condish for 2 min while washing my body, wash it off, towel dry my hair, put a bit of coconut oil in my hair and carefully bun it up, take it down a couple of times in between, so it dries slowly and keeps moisture in.I will do that for a week or so. Already I see an improvment. Hope that helps, good luck :-)

jacqueline101
November 27th, 2011, 06:03 PM
I'd say do this one good trim to remove the damage then take vitamins and eat a balanced diet and you need adequate water. Now go and get mane n tail shampoo and condish cheap hair detangler. I like monistat and a hair color bottle for monistat unless you use it straight. Now you will need a sleeping cap of some kind. I don't like brushes I bought a two in one wide and narrow tooth comb. Next is a mister bottle and hair essential. I like misting oils on my hair. Have you chose your oils? You may want to try coconut oil and I like argan and cocoa butter, sweet almond oil, and vitamin e oil and brazilian nut oil. I spray my hair daily due to dry ends and none on the roots. Doing this my hair grew pretty good. Monthly I clarify my hair one time a month when my hair gets out of whack due to female issues.

alyaziaaah
November 28th, 2011, 06:38 AM
You might want to check your hormone levels because of you male pattern baldness, and also monitor your food intake, it should be high in protein, take a hair supplement, multi vits and minerals,biotin, L-cystein and PABA. That helped me with my hairloss

kdaniels8811
November 28th, 2011, 07:58 AM
Last but not least, check out the Super Shorties or Shoulder to APL threads. All of us on those threads are dealing with short hair frustration and the support and advice is great. Good luck we are all rooting for you! My hair is at shoulder and I figure three years to get back to waist/hip length. Not impossible but it does seem to be a really long time.