Hurtful hair comment from friend...need to vent

[GoldberryHair]

Last night my friend/coworker who always keeps bugging me to cut my hair short told me I should at least get layers to give my hair some style, because right now it has none, it just hangs there. When I told her I get compliments on it all the time she "informed" me it was only because my hair is "unusually long" and it just doesn't look good, because it has no style and it just needs layers!

I'm not one to care what people think by any means, but it did hurt my feelings a little because I love my hair so much. I just needed to vent to people I know (or hope) understand:(

[Hollyfire3]

That is SOO mean! Just ignore people when they stay that stuff, they are just jealous.

[blondie9912]

Let me put it tactfully.. your friend is delusional, and your hair is beautiful :)

I saw this picture, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=8435&pictureid=117706, and promptly thudded! :thud:

Your hair is so shiny, long, healthy, and the colour is lovely! It definitely does NOT 'just hang there' (trust me, I've seen hair that does that, and yours is not it :) )

From what I can see, you have a few light layers in there that add to the soft waves at your ends, which look amazing :)

I guess this goes to show that even when you have pretty much flawless hair, people WILL still make negative comment unfortunately. Don't let that discourage you, however, because your hair is very pretty, and I'm quite envious! (I just begun my LHC journey 3 months ago, and my hair is all coloured except for 3 months of regrowth and the underside, and I'm tempted to practically shave it all off :()

[Kristin]

I wouldn't assume that she's jealous. Try to remember that people outside of the LHC have very different ideas about what is aesthetically pleasing in terms of hair. Looking at your hair, I can see that it is beautiful and healthy. She thinks you should get layers and that is her opinion. I would tell her to keep her opinions to herself because you love your hair and have no intention of changing it.

[Amber_Maiden]

I am so sorry- your friend/co worker is super mean, and jealous apparently.. I wouldn't be friends with them anymore after a comment like that. What's your appearance to them? That is just so rude... :(

[Hollyfire3]

WOW just saw the pic, tell your friend she needs glasses and new eyes because your hair is gorgeous!!! wish mine was that long. . .

[Fairlight63]

Don't listen to her at all! You have absolutely beautiful hair! I bet that she is jealous of your long hair. It takes a LONG time to get long hair & most give up in a couple of months when it gets to the difficult stage when it is too short to wear up.

[Hollyfire3]

I wouldn't assume that she's jealous. Try to remember that people outside of the LHC have very different ideas about what is aesthetically pleasing in terms of hair. Looking at your hair, I can see that it is beautiful and healthy. She thinks you should get layers and that is her opinion. I would tell her to keep her opinions to herself because you love your hair and have no intention of changing it.



Sorry to assume the friend was just jealous in saying what she did, i was only speaking from what has happened to me, but your right, people simply have different ideas about what is pretty and what is not.

[GoldberryHair]

Let me put it tactfully.. your friend is delusional, and your hair is beautiful :)

I saw this picture, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=8435&pictureid=117706, and promptly thudded! :thud:

Your hair is so shiny, long, healthy, and the colour is lovely! It definitely does NOT 'just hang there' (trust me, I've seen hair that does that, and yours is not it :) )

From what I can see, you have a few light layers in there that add to the soft waves at your ends, which look amazing :)

I guess this goes to show that even when you have pretty much flawless hair, people WILL still make negative comment unfortunately. Don't let that discourage you, however, because your hair is very pretty, and I'm quite envious! (I just begun my LHC journey 3 months ago, and my hair is all coloured except for 3 months of regrowth and the underside, and I'm tempted to practically shave it all off :()

Aw! Thank you! :) And when I first started growing really long (and even now sometimes on bad hair days ;) ) I'm tempted to shave it too! LOL

[andreamuse]

Either she's jealous or she just doesn't get it. Either way, you have beautiful hair and she shouldn't make comments like that.

[SoulOfTheSea]

Oh don't listen to them, your hair is so beautiful and very envy-worthy! But remember, liking hair is liking other things- it's totally subjective. Some people find short hair attractive, others long. So don't take it too personally, rock your lovely hair! :)

[GoldberryHair]

It wouldn't bother me as much if it was the first time, but this is about the third at least...she's very opinionated and will disagree to the death. I try joking that "The Kardashians pay tons of money to get hair as long as mine" and she just goes, "and I think their hair is so ugly." GRR!

[Lisa R]

Your hair is absolutely stunning! There are definitely people outside of LHC who think hair should be this or that. I'm sorry she hurt your feelings. I think there are many of us here who have had their feelings hurt by someone giving us some hair 'advice'! I think your hair is so beautiful the way it is. I would LOVE to have hair that looked like yours:)

Chin up!:)

[Sheryl]

Oh my goodness! You have beautiful hair! I can only hope mine looks that good when it gets that long. I'm sure she thinks she is doing you a favour as a friend, letting you know what she thinks. All you need to do is let her know that you definitely do not agree and are not getting it cut and hope that puts and end to the discussion.

Ask her if she's sure she's not just jealous, maybe she will drop the subject. :-)

[Yame]

That's actually a pretty common opinion. People aren't used to seeing long hair with a blunt hemline... they think hair should look "stylish" and stylish these days usually means layers, highlights, etc.

Thankfully, you don't have to agree. If your hair is long and "unstyled," that is because YOU wanted it to be that way. If YOU are happy with your hair, that is all that matters. Do not let someone else's opinions affect the way you feel about yourself.

Your friend has a right to her opinion. But maybe it's time for her to leave the subject alone. Next time she brings it up, please stand up for yourself and cut off the conversation. Say something like "I already know what you think about my hair. But I don't like these styles you speak of, I like my own hair the way it is, and I am very proud of it. You can do what you like to your hair, and I will do what I like to mine. I don't want to hear any more of this." If she keeps bringing it up, she is disrespecting your boundaries and does not deserve to be your friend.

[ScorpioMouse]

She probably has no idea how personal these comments are - so many women seem to be used to an environment where it's open season on their appearances. Mothers, sisters, girlfriends, even male folks can feel they have the right to say how a woman should look, and argue for their opinion! It always baffles me, but if she's used to that kind of "helpful" criticism herself, she might not think twice before doing the same thing to you. I'd very gently let her know that growing your hair is a form of artistic expression, and it's your thing, not hers, but your goals for your appearance are different from hers. She's def not going to understand hints or jokes, from what you've said. She may even be horrified to know that it's hurtful!

And if it helps, I'd LOVE to have your hair myself!!! So much longer and more healthy than mine, and the color!!! Gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

[spidermom]

I think your coworker/"friend" is mean, too. She could have told you what she thinks would look good without insulting you.

[Starlight1986]

That is mean! People who say this just don't seem to know, how much effort you put into your hair and how much you care for it... Ignore those comments. I really wish I had hair like yours. :)

[Thumper]

It wouldn't bother me as much if it was the first time, but this is about the third at least...she's very opinionated and will disagree to the death. I try joking that "The Kardashians pay tons of money to get hair as long as mine" and she just goes, "and I think their hair is so ugly." GRR!

Why don't you say something to her?? If she's an important friend then at least tell her how her comments hurt. If she's not an important friend, I would still tell her how you feel, but probably more of an "go to h-e-double hockey sticks' feeling kwim?

None of her freakin' business how you keep your gorgeous hair!

[kaiakai]

I saw this picture, http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=8435&pictureid=117706, and promptly thudded! :thud:

Your hair is so shiny, long, healthy, and the colour is lovely! It definitely does NOT 'just hang there' (trust me, I've seen hair that does that, and yours is not it :) )

From what I can see, you have a few light layers in there that add to the soft waves at your ends, which look amazing :)



I concur! I have also seen hair that should be cut, but yours is definitely not in that category!

[Revontuletar]

I really do think that she was being rude, especially arguing about it so much and mentioning it over and over again. If she had just suggested layers once that wouldnt have been so bad (if she is a friend that is), but particularly when you had told her you like your hair how it is she should not have pursued it. She has her opinion, but honestly I think it is a ridiculous opinion. Your hair is beautiful, I wish mine could look like yours!

[Macaroni]

She is not your friend.

[estelwen]

I'm sorry your coworker was so cruel! People so often do not think about the impact of their words on others. You have lovely hair.

[kaiakai]

Why don't you say something to her?? If she's an important friend then at least tell her how her comments hurt.



Unless you have been asking for her opinion, I think it might be time to tell her something as well. Tell her that she has made some hurtful comments, and that unless you solicit hair related advice from her, that she should keep her opinions to herself.

[spidermom]

Please do tell her next time that the subject of your hair is CLOSED and she can keep her opinion to herself from now on.

[swearnsue]

Your hair is beautiful which is why your friend seems obsessed with it. I've heard so many horror stories of ladies that get layers and regret it later. Except for that comment I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

[Revontuletar]

Unless you have been asking for her opinion, I think it might be time to tell her something as well. Tell her that she has made some hurtful comments, and that unless you solicit hair related advice from her, that she should keep her opinions to herself.
Very well put. That's just what I was trying to say. If you had ASKED for hair advice and she mentioned layers once, it would not have been so bad.

[ashleyrox]

Wow, I think your hair is very pretty! I do have layers and like the looks of layers, but I love your hair just the way it is and if you do too, that's really all that matters. People are mean a lot of the time but don't let them get you down!

[error]

Ugh , I get awful comments outside the lhc all the time , my hair has been referred to as (dirty, too long , too thin , too straight, dead and unhealthy lol .) and after a while it really got to me (took some time to me to figure out my hair was none of the above) , many women tell me I should get layers , I think layers are more appropriate for people with super unmanageably thick hair that has some sort of natural wave to it . You seem to have a similar hair type to mine where it is silky and straight , if you get layers cut it will only look like you actually do have thinned out hair since silky straight hair normally compresses , more often then not when you have straight hair the layers are straight! Unless you sit there with a blow torch and a hot iron then fry all of your tresses lol . I believe you're hair is gorgeous in color length + texture , and there are ENDLESS things you can do with it , the longer it gets the more fun you can have with it , do not let her get to you whether it be her being jealous and rather bitchy or just does not understand that some people prefer long hair. keep your chin up you are awesome!

[GoldberryHair]

Thanks you guys are awesome, I knew I could count on you to understand :)

She is the type of friend that likes to be right. She cuts and dyes her hair a new color almost every month and I've told her that just not for me. She's very pushy sometimes but she is my friend (and I just like to avoid unneeded drama lol) so I'll just keep ignoring it, [unless she catches me on a bad day hehe *grins evily*] I know long hair isn't for everyone, but if it's not for you you shouldn't try to discourage someone else.

And for the record lol : I NEVER asked for her opinion! She just keeps giving it!

[Anywhere]

I get compliments on my hair from friends, and my hair looks like a thin scraggly rats nest compared to yours. :p

I would have given her a rather rude response back on something she spends a lot of time doing. Makeup or something most likely. I can be mean at times though,:rolleyes:

But honestly? Your hair is fabulous. Don't worry about her. :D

[AnimaSola3o4]

That sounds like 100% jealousy. The whole 'people only compliment your hair cuz its long' thing reeks of jealousy.

If she feels the need to give you 'advice' like that, then I'd feel free to give her some 'advice' about her own hair. I'm sure you could think of something. :eyebrows:

I for one, think your hair is beautiful. And I think I'm obviously not alone ^^^.

Keep your head up [if for nothing else, it makes your hair look even longer!]

Ooooh I think I found my new sig line^^^ lmao.

[turtlelover]

:eyebrows:Just nag her all the time about thinking she needs extensions! HAHA

[jeanniet]

Your hair is very pretty and looks healthy too. I know that you don't want to be confrontational, but I think that unless you say something she'll continue to push the issue. There's nothing wrong with saying "I like my hair the way it is, and I wish you'd stop telling me what you think I should do with it. I don't tell you what to do with your hair, do I? Please just drop it." If she keeps bringing it up again, just repeat this. If she doesn't take the hint, at least eventually she'll know what you're going to say. :D

[Syaoransbear]

Wow, that's really mean. She's practically telling you that you should spend money and work harder to make your hair please HER. Maybe tell her she needs a nose job because her nose needs style and it just 'hangs there'. :p

It makes me mad when people put down others for being natural. If your hair looks that awesome without having to see a hair dresser every two weeks to keep it that way, then don't ever touch it! It's beautiful.

[kaiakai]

Wow, that's really mean. She's practically telling you that you should spend money and work harder to make your hair please HER. Maybe tell her she needs a nose job because her nose needs style and it just 'hangs there'. :p


Bwahahahahah!

[dulce]

Your hair is lovely! I would like others have said,tell her it is your hair and your choice of how to wear it, and that, that is the end of the discussion and then walk away.Does NOT sound like much of a friend to me,to say what she says once,fine,but to continue to say it?

[young&reckless]

Your hairs awesome andif you told her that the comments bother you and she does not stop report her to hr.

[Revontuletar]

I get compliments on my hair from friends, and my hair looks like a thin scraggly rats nest compared to yours. :p

Ditto! :D When my friends tell me my hair looks good I'm like "Eh? This rat's nest? Hahahaha.

[cnd0020]

Without being rude to her, you probably need to assert yourself once and for all. Opinionated / tactless people sometimes don't know how hurtful their comments are.

Tell her it bothers you when she says those things. And tell her you don't need her opinion unless you specifically ask for it.

[Tea Lady]

Next time she brings it up, please stand up for yourself and cut off the conversation. Say something like "I already know what you think about my hair. But I don't like these styles you speak of, I like my own hair the way it is, and I am very proud of it. You can do what you like to your hair, and I will do what I like to mine. I don't want to hear any more of this." If she keeps bringing it up, she is disrespecting your boundaries and does not deserve to be your friend.

This.

Also, GoldberryHair - I think your user name says it all. I just finally started reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I had loved the movies, but of course Tom Bombadil and Goldberry were not in the movie. So this is the first time I am getting to know them. And Goldberry has long hair rippling down her shoulders. Keep your Goldberry Hair and be proud of it. It's beautiful!

Tea Lady

[joflakes]

WOW just saw the pic, tell your friend she needs glasses and new eyes because your hair is gorgeous!!! wish mine was that long. . .

This. Definitely.

[Melisande]

Your "friend" seems to subscribe to the opinion that hair is a fashion accessory, to be cut, dyed, layered, styled and blowdried and ironed in accordance to the fashion of the moment. With this opinion, she represents a large part of the population who have been brainwashed by the producers of all the equipment and materials you need to adapt hair to constantly changing fashions. It's a wonderful money machine and it has certainly won the day. Who dares to wear natural hair anymore?

LHC members, for example. The alternative to the "hair is a fashion accessory" school of though is of course the "hair is a part of my body and totally individual" school of thought. And this is the one you represent.

Be very clear about it to yourself. Your friend has been brainwashed into thinking that ONLY a certain style is beautiful, like today most people believe that ONLY one body type is beautiful. I don't believe she is envious. I believe you make her insecure because your hair tells her without words: hair doesn't need to be treated like a fashion accessory to be beautiful. But it's a different kind of beauty, an individual one, a natural one.

This may be really unsettling for people who never looked at hair differently.

Suppose you told her in no uncertain terms: "I really dislike the cloned hairstyles everybody is sporting nowadays. I really find the artifical colors and always-to-be-updated layers unpretty. I think that short hair really suits very few people. Most people's proportions look better with longer hair. I think you should grow out your hair. You really should. I have seen people who can rock short hair or layered cuts but not you. No, really. Whenever I see your hair I think: what a pity she doesn't let it grow out. I had to tell you, as an honest friend."

How would she feel then?

Of course you won't do it. But you can ask her how she would feel if you put her down the way she does with you. Why press our own opinions on others? How silly is it to try and change the way somebody wears her hair? What is it to her? How does it affect her well being?

You have different styles, different tastes, different opinions. Why can't she bear that? It seems really strange to me.

[*Seraphina*]

Your friend is crazy :)

[marzipanthecat]

Your hair is lovely, but people everywhere in the world to tend to push their ideas about appearance on to others. It shows a dreadful lack of tact and manners on their part, really.

Actually, you hair is super-duper lovely.

[Bazinga]

Tastes are very different. Your friend seems to be more interested in style than in healthy hair. I bet you don't get compliments "just" because your hair is "unusually long". Long healthy hair often does not need styling because it looks good on its own. It's too bad your friend doesn't see it but I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings on purpose. Some people just don't think before they open their mouth.:)

[ArienEllariel]

Are you kidding me?? Goldberry, you're one of my hair inspirations! Ignore her tactless comment.

[MrsGuther]

Sounds like your 'friend' has a case of the green eyed monster. Jealousy is an ugly trait. Ughhh some people just need to learn to keep their mouths shut and not force their opinion on others. Sorry that you had to hear someone being rude like that to you. Your hair is gorgeous!!!!!!

[pepperminttea]

Your hair is thud-worthy, I think you live up to your user-namesake perfectly. :) Don't feel bad, your 'friend' just has a different idea of what is beautiful is (and what good manners are, apparently). It doesn't make your, and our, concept of beautiful hair any less valid. :flower:

[PaganPriestess]

Don't do layers. Your hair looks absolutely beautiful just as it is. Tell your friend where she can stick her opinions!

[Lamb]

It wouldn't bother me as much if it was the first time, but this is about the third at least...she's very opinionated and will disagree to the death. I try joking that "The Kardashians pay tons of money to get hair as long as mine" and she just goes, "and I think their hair is so ugly." GRR!

I would simply avoid her. She seems to have issues which go far beyond hair.

[Ishje]

next time tell her how you feel about it, that you think it is a mean comment.
maybe then she will realize that she was being hurtful.
I think your hair is gorgeous!!

[infinity_girl]

Tell her to **** off?

Why would a "friend" say something like that. Your hair looks great.

[kittymallow]

Oh my ! How in gods name can somebody be so mean?? And disrespectful! I would died to have your hair!! If she says anything like that again you could always comment her back that her overly chemically treated, hair is really unflattering and does not look good on her either.. or ask what hairdresser she uses.. and then say that now you understand why her hair does not look good.. then she might understand how hurtful she was to you. i bet all the users on this forum would pick your hair instead of her hair...

[Of the Fae]

Screw her, she probably is brainwashed by the dull conventional styles of this day and age to be able to appreciate gorgeous classic looking long hair!

[MonaLisa]

You can have hair like hers in matter of minutes...Many people can...
She on the other hand, can just envy yours probably, for long time!

I wouldn't make comments back, regarding her hair or anything though..
You don't like what she does, nobody here does - Well then don't do the same thing.
Just smile to her and enjoy your pretty hair!

[kanaka]

Really, tell her to shut up. Your hair is sooooooo gorgeous and amazing :)

If she again asks you to cut your hair just tell her to bother about herself but not you or your hair and tell her not to make comments that way again

[Libbylou]

You have hair just like a princess.
Obviously all the coloring and heat processing has leeched into your friend's brain!
Just curious, what if anything, does she say when you wear an updo?
A bit off topic, I used to watch the tv show "What not to wear" and the hair stylist was always cutting, coloring, and adding layers to the hair. I guess this is the current fashion. Good for those who want to look like everyone else.
Also, back to the princess topic, all the movies with royalty in them that I've seen, have long beautiful hair. Just like yours. Is this their way of saying that long,beautiful hair, fantasy and fairytale hair is reserved for the elite and not hair of common, every day folk?

[Rhodugune]

My boyfriend was really pissoff on your part, he is a sweetie, and I agree with him.

He thinks you ought to tell her that when she has grown her hair long and good looking, that you like, then you will have the hairstyle she likes!

If she doesn't agree, tell her that you probably don't want her preferred hairstyle as much as she don't want yours.

You just have different opinions on what's a nice hairstyle and she is very rude and mean to keep going on telling you this things about your hair.

And she is so wrong!
Your hair is gorgeuos!

[Ardellis]

Goldberry, your hair is breathtaking. Don't listen to anyone who says differently. There will always be people who think their personal tastes should be universal, and who don't stop to think about how others feel before opening their mouths. If you really think of her as a friend, tell her how her thoughtless comments make you feel, and then if she keeps doing it, you'll know better.

[Sooze]

Whether your colleague likes your hair or not, the fact is it's absolutely beautiful. I've had my fair share of "thoughtless" hair comments over the years, but in my case they're partially justified as my hair's a bit of a rat's nest. yours is nothing like that. It's gorgeous. ((hug))

[Kamir0]

It wouldn't bother me as much if it was the first time, but this is about the third at least...she's very opinionated and will disagree to the death. I try joking that "The Kardashians pay tons of money to get hair as long as mine" and she just goes, "and I think their hair is so ugly." GRR!

It seems to be a matter of taste. She doesn't like long hair, fair enough.
Just don't worry too much about it, your hair is gorgeous.

I used to think my hair was "uninteresting" when it was long (usually past waist length) even though I used to get tons of compliments on it too. In fact, this is exactly what drove me to have it cut into a shortish layered style a few years ago, and boy, did I regret it... :(

Tell your friend she needs to stop commenting on it because it is unnecessarily hurtful and you won't change your mind. If she doesn't stop, she's not being a very good friend in my opinion...

[gretchen_hair]

Let it go in one ear and out the other. You can't let what other people say get to you (well, not the NEGATIVE comments anyway ;) )

And people with their crazy comments about hair *just hanging there*, it's hair, what is it supposed to do? A song and dance? Salute? Stand on end? wth?!!

[xovictoryxo]

doesnt sound like such a nice friend to me!
your hair is gorgeous girl~!

[jaine]

I think in moments like that, it's important to express how you feel. But I don't like the idea of insulting the person who insulted you- that will make them feel like the victim all of a sudden and less likely to listen to you because they're focused on their own pain.
I think just saying "ouch" is enough to get the point across without shifting the focus of the conversation.

[ktani]

Unless she has developed telepathy, she cannot speak to the reasons others have complimented you on your obviously gorgeous hair.

Her unsolicited, rude comments are out of line period.

She should keep these kinds of comments to herself.

Unfortunately, you have to work with her. She will no doubt continue. She does not get that what she is doing is unacceptable behaviour.

A way of politely shutting her up is to simply say "Thank you" and end the conversation there by changing the subject the next time this happens and it will most likely happen again. She will have nowhere to go with that.

[GoldberryHair]

Are you kidding me?? Goldberry, you're one of my hair inspirations! Ignore her tactless comment.

Aw!!! You're too sweet !! :o

[GoldberryHair]

You have hair just like a princess.
Obviously all the coloring and heat processing has leeched into your friend's brain!
Just curious, what if anything, does she say when you wear an updo?
A bit off topic, I used to watch the tv show "What not to wear" and the hair stylist was always cutting, coloring, and adding layers to the hair. I guess this is the current fashion. Good for those who want to look like everyone else.
Also, back to the princess topic, all the movies with royalty in them that I've seen, have long beautiful hair. Just like yours. Is this their way of saying that long,beautiful hair, fantasy and fairytale hair is reserved for the elite and not hair of common, every day folk?

I hope this doesn't post twice, my internets being weird lol..

She says the same when I wear it up. And YES, I know just what you're talking about. I actually remember an episode where the girl (with lovely loonngg hair) refused to cut it and the stylist told her that it was pointless to wear new clothes because she'd look the same and the whole point of the show was to make a change and that it was such a shame because he thinks she could have really made a nice difference...How trashy coming from a supposide famous stylist...its sad that if it's not "style and 'perfect' " it's considered boring, yet on another hand, if a girl with short hair were to get (ridiculous $$) extentions, would they say the same thing?

[jacqueline101]

I think they're jealous of you and if they were a true friend she or he would support your choice. I'd tell her or him what I said and then cut ties with them.

[lacefrost]

I think your hair is gorgeous and that she's not your friend. I am friends with opinionated people, strongly opinionated, vehemently opinionated. But they're not rude or impolite. And if they say things that hurt my feelings, they don't keep pushing the issue. They apologize even if they think they're right.

I wouldn't be friends with her. Next time she brings it up and says you only get compliments cause it's unusually long, I would say, "No, it's because it's soft and shiny and a beautiful golden color people spend thousands at a salon to emulate. You're just mad my hair looks this good without me going to the salon each week. I wake up and look this good." And if she said she didn't like it or that she thought xyz, I would say, "I don't care what you think. It's my hair and I wear it how it pleases me."

[ktani]

I would not end a friendship over this unless there are significant other problems in the relationship.

Whatever the reasons this person is doing this I think in her mind she is trying to be helpful. If you have the kind of rapport with her that you can be totally upfront, tell her how her comments make you feel, hurt, and see how she responds.

[vintage88]

It is a hurtful comment and I would feel the same in that situation, but don't take any notice, your hair is gorgeous just the way it is, and if you like it then that's all that matters :)

[moxamoll]

I think all the bases have been covered. I just wanted to add that I too think your hair is simply lovely!:agree:

[summergreen]

She may be jealous; she is definitely being rude and insensitive (whether she means to be or not). I would be giving her some unwanted advice/opinions of my own about her appearance, but you are probably much nicer than me!

As everyone has said, your hair is beautiful!

[Asequui]

Sweetie, your hair is gorgeous!
The color and length and texture are to just die for.
Do not let this person make you feel bad at all.

I'm with everybody else telling you to stand up for yourself. You don't even have to do it in an overly aggressive way to get your point across, either.
The next time she starts in on you, take a deep breath to calm yourself. Set your jaw and square your shoulders. Then look her straight dead in the eyes and calmly tell her something along the lines of "I've already made it clear that this is how I choose to keep my hair. Your opinion is neither needed nor wanted in this. My hair is NOT an open topic for discussion and I will no longer tolerate it being so."
Do not smile or laugh when you say this.
And enforce it.
If she tries to continue the argument, walk away.
If she tries to bring it up again, walk away.
Don't apologize for standing up for yourself.

[Mayflower]

If someone would tell me I should change my hair because it's this or that, I would just say "Who cares?". Because honestly, I don't care what other people think about my appearance and wouldn't even think twice about it.
I do like to hear the opinions of my friends and family, but I just would never take them into consideration when it comes to how I should style my hair. Just like I seriously do not care how other people look.

So what I'm trying to say is that I don't understand why people make unwanted remarks like that, but I also don't understand why people care about these remarks? And why would anybody end a friendship because of this?? It's not a big deal, everybody has their opinions, and even though you sometimes don't ask for them, just let them make their remarks and move on.

[Ann Marie]

I think it's OK to suggest layers...etc...in a tactful way...

"I think you have great hair for layering" etc....

But if she meant to be rude...you could suggest tactfully that she needs a new set of eyes...and perhaps she could go to an optometrist and have her eyes layered...

:eye:

Laysic?

[Beatrix_Kiddo]

That's only envy. Don't worry about silly people. Your hair is beautiful !!

[xoxophelia]

I think she acts like she hates it because she secretly desires it for herself ;)

[LaLaBella]

I would not end a friendship over this unless there are significant other problems in the relationship.

Whatever the reasons this person is doing this I think in her mind she is trying to be helpful. If you have the kind of rapport with her that you can be totally upfront, tell her how her comments make you feel, hurt, and see how she responds.
A agree with ktani.
What you can do, without coming off as rude or condesceding is simply state that you appreciate her concern but you are currently happy with your hair the way it is. You may also say that you'll keep what she says in mind if you ever feel the need to change your hair.
Not that you will but it will get your point across without alienating a co-worker.

[GracieRae]

I'm not adding anything new, just wanted to say your hair is gorgeous!!! Very beautiful. :)

[moon2dove]

Oh my Gahhh!! Your hair is gorgeous!! :) :)

I really hope you don't do anything you don't want to do. It would be a real shame. Don't be persuaded, you know you'll regret it!!

If someone keeps on about something, it's usually jealously.

[Darkhorse1]

Your hair is gorgeous---if she feels the need to comment on your hair, tell her to style her own--someone said this to me once, and I said 'why don't you cut yours?" and they were like 'oh, I need to pull it back' and I'm like 'exactly' and smiled and walked away. Message sent.

Sometimes, if you make people realize the stupidity of what they are saying, in a nice way, they might get the point.

A friend of mine always was after me to cut my hair, and I was like 'nope, I like it long' and she did this once around my students, and my students all jumped to my defense "No! She has to have long hair! It's gorgeous and it's part of her' (I teach riding). It was soooo cute! They were teenagers, but shocked me at how all of them were there to defend my hair :D

[Demetrue]

I think the friendship and the working relationship will get better if you truthfully explain to her that she is perfectly entitled to her opinion on hair styles but she is hurting your feelings and it feels like she is being disrespectful to you every time she brings it up.
I know it seems easier to take the path of least resistance and peace at any price, but if you can work through the discomfort of honestly communicating with her how you feel, you will probably gain her respect in the long run.

[Demetrue]

PS I forgot to mention that your hair is gorgeous!

[KwaveT]

Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. It is bad enough getting such comments from strangers is bad enough but getting it from your friends and even family is hard to take. I get constant negative comments from those I am close to. I even got an abrupt comment from customer other day telling me my long nails are ugly despite how neat, clean, and presentable that I make them. He put it that bluntly. My family thinks the same thing. Some people never learn that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

[MagicAndMayhem]

Your hair is healthy and stunning the way it is. Whatever you do, don't take your friend's "advice."

[Danni5173]

I am so sorry- your friend/co worker is super mean, and jealous apparently.. I wouldn't be friends with them anymore after a comment like that. What's your appearance to them? That is just so rude... :(

Amen Sister!
Your hair is beautiful...your friend wishes she had it, I bet! I know I do.

[newbeginning]

I agree that your coworker is jealous. I must admit I have a bit of envy myself because your hair is so shiny, healthy looking and is a really nice colour.

[Chess]

Whether she's jealous or just has extremely different aesthetics regarding hair, please believe there are many who disagree with her!

[PixxieStix]

A agree with ktani.
What you can do, without coming off as rude or condesceding is simply state that you appreciate her concern but you are currently happy with your hair the way it is. You may also say that you'll keep what she says in mind if you ever feel the need to change your hair.
Not that you will but it will get your point across without alienating a co-worker.

Exactly! Don't ruffle feathers where you don't need to, she likely really was trying to be helpful (in her own way), but some people do not realize the way they come across to others. Be kind but firm in your next encounter with her comments on your hair. Let her know you appreciate her input (even though you don't, it's just a nicety) but are really happy with your hair as it is.

And, your hair is gorgeous by the way! :crush: I love the ends, so dreamy.

[allio21]

Your friend is jealous. And your hair is beautiful!!

[Earelia]

Style? What's wrong with hair just the way it grows? It will always be timeless. I know everyone says this, but she's probably just jealous.

[GabrielleRose]

Last night my friend/coworker who always keeps bugging me to cut my hair short told me I should at least get layers to give my hair some style, because right now it has none, it just hangs there. When I told her I get compliments on it all the time she "informed" me it was only because my hair is "unusually long" and it just doesn't look good, because it has no style and it just needs layers!

I'm not one to care what people think by any means, but it did hurt my feelings a little because I love my hair so much. I just needed to vent to people I know (or hope) understand:(

Wow, I am so sorry your friend/coworker said such a rude thing to you. I hope you are feeling better.

It seems to me that she could either be jealous or honestly just doesn't understand having long hair or desire it. But your hair is absolutely stunning nonetheless.

In my opinion I think you should tell her that your hair is yours and only yours and that you love it and you're not growing it to please her or anyone else. Or just simply tell her she should keep her negative comments to herself, because her rude comment is NOT true.

[lesbia]

soo jealous I think ;) your hair are amazing, don't care

[duchesswannabe]

A agree with ktani.
What you can do, without coming off as rude or condesceding is simply state that you appreciate her concern but you are currently happy with your hair the way it is. You may also say that you'll keep what she says in mind if you ever feel the need to change your hair.
Not that you will but it will get your point across without alienating a co-worker.

Keep saying that you have a different point of view. I find the more that you explain stuff, the more people can keep annoying you.

[Venefica]

First of all your friend is rude, smack her over the head with a beagle, the bread not the dog, second of all your friend is either jealous or she is imposing her own taste onto everyone else. Your hair is beautiful, you have that type of golden, slightly wavey hair that fantasy princesses are described to have. Go fetch the beagle and do not worry yourself over this rude woman, she is wrong.

[ImperatrixMundi]

When someone says something like that, I just firmly and politely tell them I'll do whatever I want.
Doesn't change their opinion, but otherwise you risk starting to make excuses for it, which might make them think you're a push-over.

[Ice~Cold~Wind]

Blondie is right. Your hair is gorgeous and anyone in this world who appreciates long hair will love it. Everyone has their own ideals and opinions on how people should wear their hair.
I'd probably be upset by such a comment, but I would promptly reply that I like my hair, and that's all that matters.

:) We also have to remember that in this day and age, most people like more stylish(as in cut and styled)hair or shorter hairstyles. It's just the norm nowadays. Not speaking for everyone of course!

[hurricanexkat]

Sounds like you need a new friend. This one doesnt support your goals and interests. Tell her she needs to lose a few pounds and see how she likes it. Its essentially the same in my book.

[ladyshep]

Can you say jealous or intimidated! It sounds like your coworker could be. Your hair looks gorgous!

[BittSweetCherry]

Opinions are like nipples - everyone has them, but they don't need to share because most of the time we just aren't interested :P

I think your hair is absolutely gorgeous. That's my opinion in part because I value healthy, long hair. I'm pretty sure everyone's hair "hangs there," so I don't know what makes hers so special. It sounds like she has a very narrow view of beauty - almost slavish to trends.

[DavidN]

Oh, GoldberryHair, I am so sorry to hear that you have been subjected to these cruel and heartless remarks, and I will offer a supportive hug.:grouphug:

Although I know it can be hard, please do your best to ignore those remarks, and remember, your hair is yours and yours alone. It really looks beautiful in your wiggy photo, thick, healthy, and with lovely colour.

[Gothchiq]

I would tell her that if you wanted advice, you would ask for it, and that her unsolicited comments are rude and must stop. Of course, I'm not very diplomatic, but once someone's been rude to me I'll admit I don't make much effort.

[ladyshep]

Just stare at her when she goes on and on. Then when she is all done, say, "Wow, I didn't know you cared so much!" *laughs*

[Chamy]

You have very beautiful hair! Dont listen to hurtful comment, they are just that, hurtful, and thus worthless to you. Everyone with a unusual trait, such as superlong hair or something similar will hear comments, good and bad just because it stands out from a crowd.
Focus on the positive and give your "friend" a similar comment back so she understands that she was out of line.

[Tigermama]

So sorry your feelings got hurt. I think whenever someone makes a comment about what they think someone should do to alter their appearance, that person is struggling with low self esteem. Sounds like your friend is having some feelings about her own appearance. Because your hair is especially beautiful, her feelings about her own self are further challenged, so she projects her insecurity onto you. Trends and fads come and go, but the timeless elegance of flowing locks persits through any eon. Having haters means that you are rocking out! Keep on as you desire.

[blondecat]

sorry all, double post

[blondecat]

Sweetheart, your Hair is simply Amazing, Beautiful, gorgeous, Stunning :) :) :)

I had [note past tense] a friend like that, I used to laugh my head off every time she started in about my hair [she had a pixie cut and really really 'rocked' that look it was fab on her]

My suggestion, either ignore it or give a 'hearty laugh' and look at her like she has 2 heads.

[GoldberryHair]

Thanks all :) Finally when she brought it up again one of my other co-workers said, "I think it's beautiful" and another one said, "me too!" and then she goes well, let's ask a man, so she asked our manager, and he goes, "I love long hair, my gf's is down to here (points to classic!)" and that shut her up LOL

[Kristin]

Glad that someone put her in her place! And it sounds like your other co-workers are really supportive!

[Yame]

Thanks all :) Finally when she brought it up again one of my other co-workers said, "I think it's beautiful" and another one said, "me too!" and then she goes well, let's ask a man, so she asked our manager, and he goes, "I love long hair, my gf's is down to here (points to classic!)" and that shut her up LOL

That's AWESOME!

[AnqeIicDemise]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As long as you find it beautiful, that's all that matters. (ps: GORGEOUS!)

[racrane]

I just saw this post and I have to agree, your hair is so pretty! People have opinions, but they shouldn't always say them. As long as you're happy. :)

[coffinhert]

I have to agree, your hair is quite stunning. Very beautiful.

[hermosamendoza]

Forgive me if there are any misspelling, i'm new to this touch screen thing :-)

Don't listen to your friend, deep down she is either jelous of your hair or b. She is brainwashed by layers are better.

My sister always talked me into layers and i hate them. I like it long no layer except maube some should or chin skimming whispies. I know she thinks she's helping you but remind her you don't tell her how ugly she looks with her hair so please stop doing that to you.

[Marionette]

Your friend is just a sheep, going along with trends. I hate sheep.

[blondecat]

Your friend is just a sheep, going along with trends. I hate sheep.

HHHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Lamb Roast with Rosemary Yummm

[CrunchyMama]

Ugh, today at the gym I had just finished a Mom and Tots aquafit class. I was taking out my Heidi braids and combing them out so that I could throw my hair back up into a topknot before leaving. My friend who I was with commented that she was excited to get her haircut tomorrow night, and I replied that I trim my own hair and hadn't had a proper "cut" since June 2010. A complete stranger eyed my hair and chimed in, "You know you can get it cut and donate your hair to charity, don't you?" I replied, "Yes, but I have no intentions of getting it cut, I like it the length that it is." And she said, "That's nice, but it's a very nice thing to do for others." Ummm, what? Apparently I'm a selfish person for wanting to KEEP my own hair?! Good grief, the things that people say!!!

[ladyshep]

Ugh, today at the gym I had just finished a Mom and Tots aquafit class. I was taking out my Heidi braids and combing them out so that I could throw my hair back up into a topknot before leaving. My friend who I was with commented that she was excited to get her haircut tomorrow night, and I replied that I trim my own hair and hadn't had a proper "cut" since June 2010. A complete stranger eyed my hair and chimed in, "You know you can get it cut and donate your hair to charity, don't you?" I replied, "Yes, but I have no intentions of getting it cut, I like it the length that it is." And she said, "That's nice, but it's a very nice thing to do for others." Ummm, what? Apparently I'm a selfish person for wanting to KEEP my own hair?! Good grief, the things that people say!!!

Wow, I thought I was the only one anyone had said that to. I have said to those people, "Well, why don't you grow out your hair and give it away," or "I give to charity in other ways." Usually they don't say anything after that.

[GoldberryHair]

As a final follow up, it seem karma really does exhist.

My "friend" that made the rude comments recently got her hair cut and colored by someone she knew, so they gave her a deal. It was suppose to be one of those A-Line bobs? I believe they're called, where they start shorter in the back and get progressively longer toward chin? ANYWAYS, well the girl that did it wasn't very good because the right back side was AT LEAST 1-2 inches short than the left, and it looks absolutely terrible so she has to go to a "real" professional and get it cut even shorter (which will be close to pixie) ahaha, and I'm not the only one that noticed, EVERYONE pointed it out to her, so I got to have the last laugh. "And YOU wanted me to get my hair cut?!" :) ha!

[3azza]

what goes around, comes around...