Does anyone ever try to discourage you?

[FroggyMonkeyMom]

Okay I can understand my mom complaining about her vacuum cleaner giving out on her because my hair got in the roller brush, but has anyone else "disapproved" of your long hair? Not that their opinion actually counts unless asked for.

I emailed my knee length pic to some friends I hadn't seen in years and they reacted unexpectedly negative. "Tina! This is too much! This doesn't look nice. You should donate it...." on and on. Kind of ticked me off. I expected something a little more encouraging from my friends, I guess.

[Maraz]

Okay I can understand my mom complaining about her vacuum cleaner giving out on her because my hair got in the roller brush, but has anyone else "disapproved" of your long hair? Not that their opinion actually counts unless asked for.

I emailed my knee length pic to some friends I hadn't seen in years and they reacted unexpectedly negative. "Tina! This is too much! This doesn't look nice. You should donate it...." on and on. Kind of ticked me off. I expected something a little more encouraging from my friends, I guess.

My mother, sister, and a friend of over 20 years have all tried in the past, but they've finally given up.

It seems I discouraged them! :D

[spidermom]

We have another member who was very much hurt by meeting with an old college friend who told her that her thigh or knee length hair (sorry, can't remember) was too much and not attractive at all, and last I heard she had shoulder-blade length hair. My granddaughter on the other hand would love to see your picture (wish she were here). She asks me to grow my hair out to my knees every time the subject comes up. Some people enjoy extra-long hair very much, and others don't. Too bad for them.

[spidermom]

P.S. - nobody in my life tries to discourage me, although my daughter did tell me long ago that my goal of classic length was too long and wouldn't look right. But now she loves it and thinks it suits me very well.

[Copasetic]

I have personally received only positive feedback. I think we all know that knee length hair isn't universally loved, but so what? If your hair makes you happy, then keep rocking it.

[lapispimpernel]

My sister. She's always going on about how dry and damaged my hair is, and that I should cut and straighten it to make it better. :rolleyes: She also seems to think people can't physically grow long hair after age 21 and I should stop trying before I embarrass myself.

Ah, well, I love her anyway. :p

[sycamoreboutiqu]

Spidermom

I don't know what exactly you are wearing in your sig photo but you look very much like a mermaid .... and that is a wonderful thing.

[fiddlefananb]

Yes. My mom has said it is trashy looking to have very long hair. It is my hair to do as I please. Who cares what others think. Opinions are like butts, everybody has one. People will always have some reason to not like something.

[CurlyCap]

It's surprising what comes out of people's mouths when they see you achieving your goal.

After I chopped off all my hair, people acted shocked but then they also acted like it wouldn't grow back. This boggled me. Most of my friends and family have seen me with very long hair. It seemed obvious it was only a matter of time and patience.

Now that my hair is growing out at a decent clip, I still get a lot of negative feedback. That I might be spending "too much attention on my hair" or that "it'll quit growing soon" or "don't get your hopes up" or "it'll look worse once get gets too long". My hair is only at my shoulders!

My point is: 1)Don't let people ruin your own joy in your hair. They have their own. They can do what they want with it. 2)Don't try to understand where their negativity comes from. You never will understand, and it'll ruin your day trying to do so.

Hugs.

[sycamoreboutiqu]

And, back to the subject.

Well - yeah kind of. I have realized that it is probably in my best interest to keep my hair length aspirations kind of quiet. If someone expresses a true interest I may discuss it but otherwise I feel like a weirdo if I talk about wanting to grow longer with anyone outside of this specialized group. They really, really do not get it.

I know a few people think it is a tad weird to be growing this long at my age - closer to 60 than 50 (all the more reason to do it my dear ...) and of course there are always those who regard any hairstyle that isn't straightened or heat styled in some manner to be unacceptable (seriously, who gives a crap what they think).

I know my husband assumed I was going to cut it at some point, then when he realized I wasn't going to he decided to just back off and accept my choice and not offer his opinion. He occasionally will comment on the length (he really liked my blonde pixie style 25 years ago - but I was 25 years younger then too).

My daughter is also a long hair - with straight, blonde hair a bit above waist. We have a standing joke about hair length - specifically mine a the moment and beyond - she once heard a female comedian do a stand-up bit about long hair.

The jist of the joke was " why is long hair down to "here" <indicating waist length> considered super sexy, but long hair to here <indicating hip or longer> is now "religious fanatic" ? " It is just a few inches longer."

Exactly. Why is that ?

Because it is outside societal norms - and anything outside the norm (like long white beards) is off the charts.

Let's hear it for "Off the charts" !!

[starshade]

It's surprising what comes out of people's mouths when they see you achieving your goal.



This.

And it goes for most things including losing weight. 'Friends' telling me I wouldn't be able to lose at 'my age', whatever that means. I can't grow my hair at my age as well, apparently.

[Modarunner]

I keep my hair goals to myself. I was incredibly hurt earlier today when my dh said he liked my long hair as it is now, maybe a little bit longer, but he couldn't see me with extremely long hair, like to waist and thought some people on LHC took it too far. I want to grow my hair for as long as it will grow and I hope that is to at least classic, if not longer. I was very insulted and hurt by what he said, so it definitely makes me want to keep my hair length goals to myself, because if he doesn't understand I don't know many other people who will.

[spidermom]

Spidermom

I don't know what exactly you are wearing in your sig photo but you look very much like a mermaid .... and that is a wonderful thing.

Thank you!

I've got on pajamas. The bottoms are white with a delicate pink and green floral pattern, the top is a pink camisole.

[CorinaS]

My dad doesn't like my hair; he preferes easy to maintain practical haircuts, even for women, so he makes fun of me very offen, but it doesn't bother me. Some of my friends also try to convince me to get more "trendy haircuts". They even call me Cousin It :slap: and they can be annoying at times, but whenever someone says something nice about my hair it compensates for everyone who ever criticized it:cheer:.

[MonaLisa]

It hurts me too...
I get negative comments mostly from my mom...she never compliments it, just always says how i should cut it...and sometimes even 'insults' me like i ' go live in the mountains' ( i wish) etc...
I also got negative ones from most of my friends, or well saying -don't grow more, make it more trendy, thin it out, layer it...

But as CorinaS said - good ones definitely are a good compensation for it!
DBF's mother always compliments it and encourages and reacts positive to my stuff like - no dyes, no heat styling, no salons...she's very supportive...

What's been bothering me lately is DBF...:( He's always loved my hair long, and was supporting me even insisting on me growing it more...and made me promise I won't cut it etc...Often complimented and caressed it....
And now for past 2 weeks or so...he's been saying I don't have a hairstyle, just hair that's long, and i should go to a stylist and have something done to it...
He made an example of his colleague...who had MBL hair, quite thin , flat ironed and always neat...and he said that she has a style...
This is hurting me...
I haven't changed much, I do have layers and face framing layers...and I've been maintaining - My hair is still at hip length and it's in good condition..all shiny to very ends...
I don't know what he means...:(
It's made me very moody and sad...Feel like my hair lost his love, as silly as it may sound....

[Shona]

My "friend" told me for years i NEEDED to get a fringe and that everyone has one and people who don't are just plain ugly (i did not have one.)
I finally got one after years of being put down about my long, very "boring" hair, and i regretted it big time! never get a hair-cut because someone else wants you to. Also when i met up with this "friend" years later when my fridge had all growen out, i told her about my new hair habbits and how i want to grow it very long she said it was stupid and that my hair has been longer before....she couldnt have just said something nice?! Some people!

[Lamb]

What's been bothering me lately is DBF...:( He's always loved my hair long, and was supporting me even insisting on me growing it more...and made me promise I won't cut it etc...Often complimented and caressed it....
And now for past 2 weeks or so...he's been saying I don't have a hairstyle, just hair that's long, and i should go to a stylist and have something done to it...
He made an example of his colleague...who had MBL hair, quite thin , flat ironed and always neat...and he said that she has a style...
This is hurting me...
I haven't changed much, I do have layers and face framing layers...and I've been maintaining - My hair is still at hip length and it's in good condition..all shiny to very ends...
I don't know what he means...:(
It's made me very moody and sad...Feel like my hair lost his love, as silly as it may sound....

(bolding mine)

MonaLisa, hair is not your DBF's problem, I shouldn't think. It's never a good sign if one's BF starts to compare one with other women, especially if he makes a point of how much better he likes another woman's hair/clothing style/manners/etc. :nono:
I'd watch out if I were you. I don't know how long you and your BF have been together, but I think he is either being thoughtlessly unkind, or something worse.

[missdelarocha]

It's made me very moody and sad...Feel like my hair lost his love, as silly as it may sound....

Well that is indeed a little uncalled for and strange, I think you should either put it down to his own personal issues or ask him why he suddenly didn't approve anymore and that you are loving your stunning thick hair, muahaha, then I don't know, go and be amazing with your amazing hair :cool:.

[andreamuse]

I have two things against me: my age and my hair texture.

I'm 41 and you all know that people over 40 are not supposed to have long hair (Yes, I'm being sarcastic :)). My hair is on the thinner side, slightly wavy, and VERY fine. So you all know that people with those hair textures are supposed to keep their hair short, shoulder-length at the very longest.

So I don't tell anyone that I'm planning on growing to mid back and possibly waist if I like how it looks/feels by then. My mom would be the loudest voice of disapproval.

[longhairedlady]

Okay I can understand my mom complaining about her vacuum cleaner giving out on her because my hair got in the roller brush, but has anyone else "disapproved" of your long hair? Not that their opinion actually counts unless asked for.

I emailed my knee length pic to some friends I hadn't seen in years and they reacted unexpectedly negative. "Tina! This is too much! This doesn't look nice. You should donate it...." on and on. Kind of ticked me off. I expected something a little more encouraging from my friends, I guess.

Your hair is very pretty!! They are crazy!

[longhairedlady]

It hurts me too...
I get negative comments mostly from my mom...she never compliments it, just always says how i should cut it...and sometimes even 'insults' me like i ' go live in the mountains' ( i wish) etc...
I also got negative ones from most of my friends, or well saying -don't grow more, make it more trendy, thin it out, layer it...

But as CorinaS said - good ones definitely are a good compensation for it!
DBF's mother always compliments it and encourages and reacts positive to my stuff like - no dyes, no heat styling, no salons...she's very supportive...

What's been bothering me lately is DBF...:( He's always loved my hair long, and was supporting me even insisting on me growing it more...and made me promise I won't cut it etc...Often complimented and caressed it....
And now for past 2 weeks or so...he's been saying I don't have a hairstyle, just hair that's long, and i should go to a stylist and have something done to it...
He made an example of his colleague...who had MBL hair, quite thin , flat ironed and always neat...and he said that she has a style...
This is hurting me...
I haven't changed much, I do have layers and face framing layers...and I've been maintaining - My hair is still at hip length and it's in good condition..all shiny to very ends...
I don't know what he means...:(
It's made me very moody and sad...Feel like my hair lost his love, as silly as it may sound....

I would tell him, "oh really? You dont like it? Well lots of other guys do so its okay!" Seriously though, your dbf is crazy cause your hair is so pretty!

[MonaLisa]

Thank you so much guys! <3

"oh really? You dont like it? Well lots of other guys do so its okay!" Quite a good comeback I couldn't think of being surprised and feeling meh! Not too late tho, I'm sure he will keep making remarks! ;)

[Avital88]

the more people try to discourage me the longer i am gonna grow.. i cant help it its just me.. but there have been some friends telling me its getting too long, but im just afraid it are envy comments because they dont seem to be able to pass bsl.

[ladyfey]

constantly. That is how people are.

[tigereye]

Yeah, but I think its often without meaning to.
One of my friends, who is usually really nice when I ask for advice (it was her that suggested to me that layers would look lovely on me - and she was right) met me the week after I had cut a fair whack off my own hair putting in layers, and commented that she "thought it would have been shorter." Then proceded to ask me if I'm going to get it cut shorter next time, and that she thought shorter hair would make me look more my age. I'm actually growing it back out longer, but still with layers.
I think she meant well, because she isnt malicious in any way, but it was something I could have done without.

Me and one of the other girls (blonde, couple of inches past waist, really pretty fairytale ends) at the OTC with me had a discussion actually, because she thought her hair made her look too young, but also thought she would really miss her long hair if she cut it. (I wonder if she's on the LHC. Her hair is gorgeous) I've personally recently come to the conclusion that I don't care if someone else thinks I look young - its what I want that matters.

[Orangerthanred]

My brother tries to discourage me. He says I'm obsessed with hair and I'll be cutting away split ends forever.

[bluegirl]

Opinions are like butts, everybody has one. People will always have some reason to not like something.

Isn't that the truth! :rolleyes: It always amazes me how people have the nerve to tell someone their opinion on something personal.

As for me? Well, my hair's only APL, so I haven't heard anything yet. Well, other than DH, who keeps telling me how beautiful my hair is. :D

[pepperminttea]

Thank you!

I've got on pajamas. The bottoms are white with a delicate pink and green floral pattern, the top is a pink camisole.

You're in your pajamas and you look like a mermaid... this is exactly why I love long hair. :D

[HuggyBear]

Nope, it hasn't happened to me yet. But people usually don't offer their unsolicited advice/rude opinions to me. Hmmm.....wonder why? :patrol:
LOL!

[Annibelle]

My hair isn't long enough yet to get discouragement! ;) I did tell a friend my goal length, though, and she said I was just copying another friend and that mine wouldn't look as good as that friend's at that length. :( But I plan on proving her wrong! :cool:

[jesis]

I'm sure if my hair ever gets to the length I want and I'm actually satisfied with it, someone will disapprove. I don't know what it is about some people. They just don't like others to be happy.

[dragaica]

discouragement? - o yes. My parents always consider my hair is loo long- I find that hardly true- only to bra strap. Or too dark, or too red- they love my natural – but I'm graying now.... not more a child.
:(

[dragaica]

the more people try to discourage me the longer i am gonna grow.. i cant help it its just me.. but there have been some friends telling me its getting too long, but im just afraid it are envy comments because they dont seem to be able to pass bsl.
In the past years- I follow LHC, I realize the very long hair is more common in the states- and Europe is quite refractive. It came quite as a surprise. Even in Greece, Nordic countries, the long hair is a beauty mark, I find that in the big city is not the case any more. So the main complain from my friend is that I have too much hair and I don't blend in. What do you think?

[KwaveT]

(bolding mine)

MonaLisa, hair is not your DBF's problem, I shouldn't think. It's never a good sign if one's BF starts to compare one with other women, especially if he makes a point of how much better he likes another woman's hair/clothing style/manners/etc. :nono:
I'd watch out if I were you. I don't know how long you and your BF have been together, but I think he is either being thoughtlessly unkind, or something worse.

I know every woman on this board is going to quick to jump on this boyfriend's behavior. Ask y'all selves have you done the same thing with your boyfriend or husband. Woman like to compare behavior rather than appearance. You will find say Bob's behavior to be favorable in some way and hint to him that you like this behavior and wish he be that way. Men want you to admire them not Bob. We don't like to be compared unfavorably to other men no more than you do with other women. Women are usually more subtle than blunt with it but it comes off the exact same way. To a man this is a respect issue.

[darklyndsea]

Absolutely not. The people I know aren't rude enough to say things like that. And if they did, I wouldn't just stand there and take it.

[KwaveT]

My entire family discourages me on growing my hair and it is still at the bottom of the neck in length. My mother in front of my entire family announces to my sisters that I am growing "sissy hair". Apparently any kind of long hair is girly to my mother. Funny thing is my dad had long hair when she dated him in mid seventies. She has a very short memory apparently. My dad will tell me things like "you disgust me" or "you are worse than a woman" with your hair. It is not going to stop me from growing waist length hair. I have not shared my final hair goals with them. They just know that I am growing long hair. The less they know the better. It will just give them more to criticize.

[Mayflower]

My family keeps complaining about me doing henndigo. They bring it up out of nowhere every time, I never even start the conversation:p. My dad really wants me to go natural, he doesn't like dark hair on me.
Plus "it's expensive, clogs the shower drains, ruins towels" and so on. Don't care much about it though.

[MonaLisa]

(bolding mine)

MonaLisa, hair is not your DBF's problem, I shouldn't think. It's never a good sign if one's BF starts to compare one with other women, especially if he makes a point of how much better he likes another woman's hair/clothing style/manners/etc. :nono:
I'd watch out if I were you. I don't know how long you and your BF have been together, but I think he is either being thoughtlessly unkind, or something worse.

Yes, I agree, it's not normal and it sucks to hear it.
We've been together for over 8 years...and we're best friends and we do have jokes/mock eachother but this is different. That's why it hurt me..
Other than this - he's loving and it hasn't changed though. Maybe I'm just being oversensitive to hair comments..

[MonaLisa]

I know every woman on this board is going to quick to jump on this boyfriend's behavior. Ask y'all selves have you done the same thing with your boyfriend or husband. Woman like to compare behavior rather than appearance. You will find say Bob's behavior to be favorable in some way and hint to him that you like this behavior and wish he be that way. Men want you to admire them not Bob. We don't like to be compared unfavorably to other men no more than you do with other women. Women are usually more subtle than blunt with it but it comes off the exact same way. To a man this is a respect issue.

Well women doing the same thing, doesn't cancel the effect it had on me. And women doing the same thing also doesn't mean it's a good thing...I'm not judging him it's his opinion, it just happened to really hurt me...There's more to it though - I might post it later.

Also hang in there, with your family! Its harder for guys! Your hair length sounds awesome to me! And in time either they will accept it and stop bugging you, or you will start to ' not hear' their comments :)

[GlennaGirl]

You know, it's weird, but when I was younger -- say, my late 20s to mid-30s or so...people did give me flack about having hair past my shoulders. But now that I'm in my 40s, nobody says squat. What's funny about that is that the reason given was always that I was "too old" to have non-corporate hair.

It's also cultural, or at least it has been for the past 6 years; in SoCal, lots and lots of women have long hair, or what would be considered industry-standards long, anyway. So nowadays it's neither here nor there.

[Amber_Maiden]

My mom is pretty shocked by what I do to my hair sometimes, like not washing it for certain lengths of time. My husband as well. He just rolls his eyes and tell em I don't need whatever it is I'm doing to it- like S&Ding. He thinks it's obsessive. I now have to S&D when he's not around or he freaks out on me. He also gets upset about things I buy for my hair, like the cost of organic CO- $11. He hasn't bought shampoo or conditioner in about a year, though, because he got some for free at work- really crappy stuff that basically broke his hair- and he had to cut his BSL hair off to buzz cut short. He still doesn't think it's his crappy shampoo though...
And don't get me started on my MIL and FIL and my husband's entire family. They think I'm nuts about having my hair this long.

[KwaveT]

Well women doing the same thing, doesn't cancel the effect it had on me. And women doing the same thing also doesn't mean it's a good thing...I'm not judging him it's his opinion, it just happened to really hurt me...There's more to it though - I might post it later.

Also hang in there, with your family! Its harder for guys! Your hair length sounds awesome to me! And in time either they will accept it and stop bugging you, or you will start to ' not hear' their comments :)

I am in no way defending his behavior. It is most definitely wrong. I hope you don't think I was minimizing his behavior by bring up the issue I brought up. I was certainly not implying you were one of those women that I mentioned. I am definitely sorry if it came out that way. I should have clarified that post a little more. My audience for that post was rest of women looking at your post. I definitely appreciate your support. I do feel like it is a me versus the world mentality when it comes to dealing with my family. I proabably get more support from my church family if anything. They don't judge me by my appearance.

[Quetiepi]

Why would someone say that having long hair is trashy? That's hilarious. When I was 15, I asked my mother if I could get my ears pierced. She said that only chippees have their ears pierced. I didn't know what a chippee was, but from the tone of her voice I knew it was not good.

I'm 56 years old and I love having long hair. I grew it to this length once before in my life, when I was 30 or so. Then I got a perm, and that damaged it so much, I cut my hair short. When I discovered that my marriage was a sham, I cut it to pixie length and kept it that way for 10 years. Now that the 200 pound gorilla in my life has left me, I am doing much better. Time is short, so I am going to do what I want to do, and I am going to be a gorgeous old lady for as long as I can pull it off.

Trashy? If you say so!

[Bantam]

I have occasionally had certain "friends" try to encourage me to get a haircut or let them cut it for me, but only ever female friends. Male friends, on the other hand, have never advised me re the length of my hair and I much prefer their lack of interference to the "helpful" persuasions of the "gentler" sex! :rolleyes:

[racrane]

My family, boyfriend and my two best friend (two girls) don't mind my hair goals at all. My two friends keep their hair between BSL and waist , while my parents don't care what I do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

But other girls at college who are "acquaintances" are much crueler in very subtle ways. For example, "Your hair is dead. It can't look pretty long; it's dead" and my favorite "Your blonde hair long would just overwhelm your face and make it look ugly."

Why so catty? It really helps me to know that LHC women are kinder and more understanding! :)

[turtlelover]

I only remember ONE person seriously trying to convince me to cut my hair when it was really long, and she had a shaved up the back pixie cut and owned a salon, so I took that with a grain of salt! ;-)

[AngryVikingGirl]

This sounds just ridiculous! Seriously, the only impression I ever had about long hair is "gorgeous". I can understand that some people prefer short hair but never understand why telling such strong words like "ugly". Or, I do understand. They're extremely envious! They see you guys with your wonderful manes and wish they could grow their own hair as long as yours by the next day. The problem is that it's not as easy to do as to get a "trendy" cut or dye...It takes much more time. On the other hand, salons would earn a lot less, if long natural hair was fashionable, but I still don't think all those people were "salon agents". But they're followers of the trend, just wondering if they ever use their own eyes or minds. Sorry, but how come to tell someone that their hair is "ugly", "cut it off", "donate it", while it's just long. Yet at waist?!
Fortunately I don't get things like that, mainly because my hair is not that long and maybe because in my country people don't associate it with religion. It's only my granny, who simply directly told me "Cut it off. It's a lot less trouble." It was so absurd that I couldn't take it to heart, just laughed. She's neat, her hair is about 3 inches, permed, we're two different worlds in this case. I love her anyway.

[vally]

Yes, my work colleagues said, for example : "I want to take scissors and all cut ...", or "your hair is dull, you should use chemical shampoos"...
But I don't mind, I don't listen to them, I want knee long hair (now, my hair is lower back).
I wish you understand me, I try to speak English !

[FroggyMonkeyMom]

I think a lot of it is jealousy. That, and they think it's "weird" that you don't try to go with the styles that come and go throughout the year, like they do. Maybe they think we are being unreasonably stubborn. Or we have become a religious nut or something.

[Nae]

Sometimes they are being purposefully hurtful, I will admit. But I think that most of the time people just don't see hair the way that we see hair. They look at it as an accessory. I often take, "You should cut your hair into ______ style. You would look so nice!" The same way I take, "You should buy a shirt/dress like this, it would look so cute on you!"

Especially for people who have never had long hair, they just don't understand the commitment and love that we have for our tresses.

[FroggyMonkeyMom]

Yeah I remember those days hahaha, "Cut off my arm but don't touch my hair!" My mom used to hate trimming the ends because I was freaking out the whole time. When I finally did cut it all off, up to chin (:'-( ) she went with me and tipped the girl like, $10 or something. I think she was a bit disturbed with my extreme attachment to my hair, something she never had herself and kind of scared her a bit. Not scared, I guess, confused maybe. Like, to her, "it's just hair." Yeah, maybe, but once it gets to a certain length (for me it's classic length) it's more like an extention of YOU. Or it was for me.

So glad I am almost back to that length. I have really missed it.

[Mesmerise]

I think it's just weird how many people seem to think they can make rude comments about an aspect of someone's appearance :confused:.

Honestly, nobody has told me to cut my hair since the earlier years of high school, and that was all just b**chy stuff in those days, anyway (anything you did wrong with your appearance was commented on negatively).

As an adult I really can't recall anyone telling me to cut my hair. I do remember once AFTER I cut my (really, really, really damaged and breaking off) hair to shoulder length, a guy told me that I looked "stunning" with long hair and I shouldn't have cut it :rolleyes:. I don't think ANYONE had ever called me stunning before, so I was a bit upset at being no-longer-stunning :p. But yeah, I think the only negative hair comments were from males AFTER cutting my hair.

Maybe it's because where I live a lot of people have long hair? It's less common in older women, but it's not uncommon. It's certainly rare to see VERY long hair (past waist/hips - what is considered very long in the "real world") in any age group, but BSL/waist or so seems pretty universally common around here.

[Lissandria]

Hmmm, no not actively since I've been growing it this time around, but I don't advertise that I am growing, either.
However comments in the past by people that my hair was sooooo thin,too thin to have long or my mother's view that very long hair "looks nothing" ie un-stylish, un-attractive and boring. Sometimes these sorts of comments from years and years ago come back to haunt me when I think about growing my hair long.

[GlennaGirl]

Hmmm, no not actively since I've been growing it this time around, but I don't advertise that I am growing, either.

This is a good point. I find if I tell other people about wanting my hair to be really long, they're puzzled and give me the "Why?" look and, if it's someone close to me, the bit about how my hair is kind of thin and I'm over 40 and blah blah.

But if I don't mention it, nobody says a word about it no matter how long it's gotten so far, anyway.

This community is where I go to blab about my hair. :cheese: Nobody thinks I'm crazy! (Well, not for growing hair, anyway.)

[jeanniet]

I don't think anyone who knows me would dare to say something negative about my hair, lol. Maybe my mom, but she's not known for being tactful so that wouldn't bother me. :D But I generally keep my hair up when I'm out, so I don't think most people know how long it is, and I don't talk about it or my hair goals.

I used to think that if someone made a negative comment I'd just shrug it off, but hearing all the stories on here makes me think I'd be more likely to say, "Wow, that was rude" and then just sit and wait out the very uncomfortable silence that followed. Sometimes people need to learn to think before they open their mouths.

For what it's worth, I looked at your profile picture and your hair is gorgeous.

[jacqueline101]

I have been told in the past that my hair was too long it was mid back length.

[HeatherJenae]

I had a male coworker tell me I should get my hair cut like Lisbeth Salander from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo because I have her attitude. I told him I'd never cut my hair like her, but I do think she's bad ass. So I took it as a compliment. :)

[Lissandria]

This is a good point. I find if I tell other people about wanting my hair to be really long, they're puzzled and give me the "Why?" look and, if it's someone close to me, the bit about how my hair is kind of thin and I'm over 40 and blah blah.

But if I don't mention it, nobody says a word about it no matter how long it's gotten so far, anyway.


This. In the past when I said I have grown my hair or been in the process of growing (only to BSL, mind) I have got strange/puzzled looks.

If you don't say anything, no one bats an eyelid, or you get compliments. Human nature is weird sometimes.

And yes it is just great to have the LHC, and chat to like minded peeps. :cheese:

[Bantam]

Sometimes they are being purposefully hurtful, I will admit. But I think that most of the time people just don't see hair the way that we see hair. They look at it as an accessory. I often take, "You should cut your hair into ______ style. You would look so nice!" The same way I take, "You should buy a shirt/dress like this, it would look so cute on you!"


I generally agree with you. In my personal experience, people who have advised me to get a haircut in the past were not trying to insult me and I didn't mean to imply that they were. But even if they mean well, doesn't mean I appreciate the persuasive peer pressure, in much the same way that - in spite of my submissive, people-pleasing tendencies - I have never honestly appreciated being cajoled into wearing clothes I didn't want to wear, going places I didn't want to go, or doing things I didn't want to do... even if they do think it's in my best interests!

And truth be told, while they were probably not trying to offend me, (or at least, if they were, it didn't work!) that doesn't necessarily mean that certain of them didn't have ulterior motives somewhere in their sub-conscious, even while they may not have been fully aware of it themselves. In my experience, the people who make a habit of offering me advice, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, are often the ones that have given me the most grief in my life, especially when I refuse to do as they say, at which point they either threaten me or guilt me into giving in.

Of course, there is a difference between someone telling me something would look cute on me but ultimately allowing me to make my own decisions, and a person who cannot take no for an answer.

Thankfully, I am much more assertive than I used to be! :)

[celebriangel]

People try to discourage me from doing a lot of things. Piercings, tattoos, polyamory, long hair.

I have decided to please myself. I don't get all that many comments on long hair, because most people who know me well enough to comment also know about all the other stuff, so I think they feel I have bigger problems! :)

[Maraz]

My family, boyfriend and my two best friend (two girls) don't mind my hair goals at all. My two friends keep their hair between BSL and waist , while my parents don't care what I do as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

But other girls at college who are "acquaintances" are much crueler in very subtle ways. For example, "Your hair is dead. It can't look pretty long; it's dead" and my favorite "Your blonde hair long would just overwhelm your face and make it look ugly."

Why so catty? It really helps me to know that LHC women are kinder and more understanding! :)

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

[lacefrost]

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

I think what you said here is very interesting and probably more true than we know.

[Kristin]

My sister discourages me all the time. She tells me my hair is too long, looks like a cape, and looks "too Kardashian." However, she also tells me that she talks about how long and well-cared-for my hair is when she goes to the salon. I really don't know what her deal is, but I have no intention to chop my hair at the moment.

[PaganPriestess]

My grandmother has always cut my hair my entire life. She hates my ends. Every time she trims she wants to take 5-6" off. I'm always being told I need a haircut. Did I mention she has extremely short hair? lol I have always just let her trim it up, and she knows not to take *too much* off or it will result in my crying & bitching about how "short" my hair is. It's really about time for another trim, but I am tempted to just let it grow & not trim it for a good long while to see how it looks. I am starting to think she just doesn't like it long because it's harder for her to cut. Well, not cutting it at all will make that easier for her LOL

[Fairytale]

Its funny that this thread come up today my mother told me yesterday that long hair makes women look older.:confused:

That is after I told her that I am growing out my hair .

She colors her hair and blow dry and flat irons , also cuts in layers she says that it looks fresh and modern (young!) :poot:

I told her I strongly disagree it depends how you wear it and take care of it that makes the women look good .

So yes I did momentarly got discouraged but I got back on my horse and will keep riding on my long hair journey!!!:D

[uptosomeone]

No, I've fortunately not ever had any discouraging comments unless this situation counts:

Me: I'm growing my hair out to my waist...
Friend: -gasps in excitement-
Me: ...and then I'm cutting a very sharp, very blunt angle in it from right to left!
Friend: -stunned, disbelieving silence at that hair horror-

That encouraged me though, because if I could make people think about being daring and challenging the norms just be seeing my hair, I would be happy. :)

[Bantam]

Since women are compelled to compete for male attention largely via appearance, I wonder if there are some not so nice subconscious motivations for trying to influence other women to conform to a certain type of hairstyle.

Yup, that's pretty much what I thought.


In many cultures, how you wore your hair denoted whether you were single or married, in other words, available or taken, and I can't think of one in which long, loose hair was reserved for married women while unmarried women wore their hair short.

That fits with the complaints some middle aged and older women are getting about being too old to wear their hair long. We absorb all sorts of useful and useless debris from our societies, not just current, but traditional views, as well.

Elizabeth I was supposed to have worn her long hair loose on her accession to the throne as a statement of her virginity. Married women were supposed to wear their hair up. I imagine that this was really because men were attracted to long, healthy hair and would therefore not have wanted their wives attracting too much male attention. Women who were already married and had to wear their hair up might indeed be jealous of not being able to show off their beautiful hair like all the young maidens their husbands liked to eye up!

Of course, wearing your hair loose also served as a handy indicator for potential courtship... a bit like saying "I am available and want a man!" without sounding like a whore and getting burned at the stake, drowned, or stoned to death for being a witch or something! (Only witches could be that alluring.;))

[ebba]

my hair is only at APL and my boyfriend keeps 'encouraging me" to cut it super short. He loves really short, dark hair (think Alice from twilight) and says he hates long hair and that it is gross. i want waist length hair and it is definatly discouraging

[Amelia]

The only person that openly tries to get me to cut my hair is my father. I've be listening to all sorts of jokes, little comments and dissing from him for two, going three years, since i decided to have long hair.

I don't like conflit, so most of the time, i'll shut up or ignore whatever is being said. The other night, on the phone, my lid jumped. I'm going home for Christmas and i asked my father to be so kind as to arrange a few appointments for me. He promptly asked if he should also called the hairdresser. I said no. he went on to call my hair ugly, too long, that it doesn't suit me etc. All of the sudden, i just felt this wave of anger rise in me. I told him, very calmly that
A) it's my hair
B)my hair is at its healthiest
C)my ends are in such good condition that I don't need a trim (last was in February)
D)my hair is shiny
E) i know so many ways of using my hair up, it's never boring
F)it's MY HAIR!

If any of these things weren't true i could even envisioned why he could be telling me to cut it, but no. I said this was the last time we were discussing my hair and that i didn't want to hear anything more about it, as it is *my* hair.
No one else has any kind of issue with it. My SO loves my hair, my friends just want to see me happy, and if that goes through really long hair, then be it.

Ever since, my father has restrain himself. I wonder how many times he has bitten his own tongue so far :laugh:

[Bantam]

Now that I think about it, two of my grandparents would encourage me to wear it up, but they never told me to cut it. My dad's dad used to threaten me with a pair of scissors sometimes and say that he'd like to "CUT IT ALL OFF!" but he was always teasing people and I never took it seriously.:D

[sycamoreboutiqu]

You're in your pajamas and you look like a mermaid... this is exactly why I love long hair. :D
Exactly :)

[Finnenna]

My mum thinks I look "ugly" and "old-fashioned" and "you look better with shorter hair because long hair doesn't suit your face". My hair is shoulder-length, She used to have longer hair before she cut it a few months ago.

She never complains when my hair is up and styled - she only says these things when it's down and un styled, since I don't bother when I'm bumming around the house. It's super annoying and hurtful.

[Pixie0763]

I am just starting to grow my hair, and because I haven’t succeeded in the past, no one believes I’ll do it now. I get a lot of "Sure, whatever. We'll believe it when we see it. You'll whack it off again!"

... but that was before I started CO washing and found TLHC! :) Now I want to try for terminal, just to see how long it'll get! :cheese:

[Stessie]

I, recently, had a guy I really liked go, "Eww, no. That's too long!!" When I told him about my goal to have Classic length. It was a little hurtful. :\

Everyone else [my family, close friends and even strangers] LOVES my hair. I've had a lot of people [usually elderly women] come up to me and gush about how much I resemble a doll. xD [My hair is 3a and WL]

It doesn't matter what others say, in the end. It's my hair and I'm going to let grow and grow and grow. ;]

[Stessie]

My mum thinks I look "ugly" and "old-fashioned" and "you look better with shorter hair because long hair doesn't suit your face". My hair is shoulder-length, She used to have longer hair before she cut it a few months ago.

She never complains when my hair is up and styled - she only says these things when it's down and un styled, since I don't bother when I'm bumming around the house. It's super annoying and hurtful.

I can see why that would be hurtful. To think that your hair is SL and she says this, already. :\ I don't know if she has realised this but fashion, nowadays, is a lot more experimental than it use to be. Who's to say what's 'old-fashioned' and what isn't? It, actually, seems old-fashioned to THINK that something is old-fashioned. lollz ;P

Don't let others deter you from your goals, with a few harsh/insensitive words. I'm sure your hair looks lovely, now and will look lovely once you reach your goal. :D

[Melanie Marie]

I was shocked as I read through this thread and how many tasteless things people have said. What disturbs me even more is that people don't see anything wrong with saying hurtful things when an opinion was never solicited in the first place! Why do so many strangers and mere acquaintances assume that their opinions really matter to us? I think a lot of it has to do with ill-breeding.

I almost always get profuse compliments that overflow like bouquets, and the only ones who I would say significantly pester/pestered me about my hair are my mom and sister. The last time I saw my sister, she was quite mean to me about my hair, and if she acts that way when I see her in December, I'm going to really have a conversation with her.

My mom never really had too big of an issue with my desire for long hair, but for a little while she used to tell me to cut it shorter. I silently refused, and my mom would simply nag me about it to the point that I was scared she would try to force me to have it cut.

I hadn't known at the time just how much my dad liked my long hair, so one day my dad and I were out for a walk and I mentioned the trouble Mom was giving me over my hair, and he just shook his head and said,"Don't worry about it, Melanie. There's no way that's going to happen." :o

Another time we were in the car and my mom was pestering me again, and my dad blew up and shouted,"[B]DON'T TELL HER TO CUT HER HAIR! IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL!" It was the best thing ever! :D

[pinupdancer]

Ugh, all the time. My entire family and DBF are all against long hair. To them waist length is way too long, so needless to say my goal of classic length is horrifying to them. Not sure why. For most of my life my hair was classic length, but they seem to have forgotten.

However, after showing the DBF some of your pictures (hope you all don't mind), he is beginning to change his mind. :D So thank you! lol

[anka.ch]

I was discourage for years by my relatives (mom, aunts, grandmother etc.) and some hairstylists who were saying that my hair is very fine and thay look ugly and flat while long (like SL long) so thay must be cut and I need layers. I believed them...

I starded growing just when my husbend sad somthing totally different: 'I love your hair! Could you grow them for me?' :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat


:D

[Annibelle]

I starded growing just when my husbend sad somthing totally different: 'I love your hair! Could you grow them for me?' :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat

I love that! :)

[Rowan1980]

I had a coworker who was taken aback by the concept of my wanting classic-length hair, but she didn't discourage me at all. I think it's simply something very, very unusual where I live and hard to wrap one's head around.

I've been fortunate in that most folks don't even bat an eyelash when I mention (rarely) that I'm growing my hair out. It's up all the time, so it's not something would think to comment on. Granted, I've been asked about my hairsticks and spin pins, but largely out of curiosity and occasional wonder. (Read: You mean those two sticks are holding ALL your hair up in that bun? Woah!)

[anka.ch]

I starded growing just when my husbend sad somthing totally different: 'I love your hair! Could you grow them for me?' :heartbeat:heartbeat:heartbeat


:D

I love that! :)

I wasn't convinced at the beginning, as I thaugth my hair is too fine and thin, and would look flat (as I was brainwashed ;) ) but now I thank him :) I don't agree with my relatives any more, I have nice hair and the thickness is not bad at all at ii (7cm~2.75')

All I needed was a husband ;)

[sbhonda]

I had long hair ranging from BSL to TBL my whole life until early this year. During that time my mom never told me to cut it short, but now that it is she keeps telling me over and over that I should cut it shorter because it would look "so cute." I don't even like it this short, so I doubt that's true.

What's weird about it is she's trying to grow her hair longer for the first time in at least a decade. But "longer" still probably only means a little past shoulder length. I worry about her being able to do even that though because her hair is the opposite of mine, it's very fine and thin (I got my dad's hair. He could start balding now, and no one would notice unless he lived to about 200 years old), and she washes and dries it everyday and dyes it every month. It's pretty dry, but I know she wouldn't take any advice I could give her, she's pretty stubborn.

My hair dresser is also discouraging me from growing it long again, but for a somewhat valid reason. She thinks that because of how thick my hair is, it'll just be too heavy. But I had long hair all my life, so it's obviously not bothersome to me.

No one else seems to have an opinion either way.

[anka.ch]

My hair dresser is also discouraging me from growing it long again, but for a somewhat valid reason. She thinks that because of how thick my hair is, it'll just be too heavy.

Too thin/fine is not good, too thick is not good either. People always find something to discourage us if they only want :D:D:D

[PlainLight]

I get bad migraines pretty often, and I've had several people say it's probably all my heavy hair giving me the headaches and I should get it cut.

[Nae]

I get bad migraines pretty often, and I've had several people say it's probably all my heavy hair giving me the headaches and I should get it cut.

Nah, you just need to find styles that more evenly distribute the weight of the hair.

I have definitely read members who have cut their hair for headaches.....to only continue to have headaches. Bummer.

[PlainLight]

Nah, you just need to find styles that more evenly distribute the weight of the hair.

I have definitely read members who have cut their hair for headaches.....to only continue to have headaches. Bummer.
Several years ago I had shorter (like APL/BSL) hair and had just as many headaches as I do now. :shrug: Some days when I'm in too much of a hurry to put up my hair properly, it pulls on my head and does give me a headache. But that's a completely different type of headache from the ones I normally get, and I'm not about to cut off my hair for that.

[Ava666]

I think I feel very lucky after reading some of these. Those in my life that I actually care about opinions are very supportive of me and my hair. Many of them love it.

[cruztacean]

For me the pattern seems to be that I'll come across some discussion where people are talking about women over 40. They should cut their hair, the people say. Long hair "pulls the face down" and ages a woman. Yet out the other sides of their mouths, they'll say a woman over 40 with long hair is "desperately trying to hold on to her youth." They never seem to catch on to the contradiction there. Either it ages her, or she's holding on to her youth, but both can't be true. Anyway, the discussion will go on and on about how older women with long hair don't look nearly as good as they think they do, because their hair is always broken off, thin, spiky, unruly, unhealthy, and looks like a Halloween witch.

Then I post a picture of my hair and tell my age, which is 47.

And then comes the back-pedaling. "Well, in YOUR case...." They'll praise me to the moon and stars about how thick and shiny and healthy and supple my hair is. As if I'm an exception to the rule.

Besides that, there has been only one other situation. I am disabled and being rehabbed back into the workforce. One job coach told me my hair is inappropriate for a clerical job, because it is so long it could be caught in office machines. Huh? The shredder would probably be the worst. I demonstrated how I could bun it in seconds, and didn't hear another word.

[MissManda]

Some of my family members and my old hairstylist were very discouraging about my hair being/growing long. When my hair was at its longest at around age eleven or twelve, I was forbidden to wear it loose with no explanation as to why, and my parental figures/guardians threatened to have it cut off if I did a lot of the time. Then when I caved and had it cut into a bob, I was told that I would never be able to have hair that long ever again and when I tried to grow it back out, they never shut up about how awful they thought it was. They also told me how fine hair can't grow long and that it would look horrible and stringy. :rolleyes:

Well, I'm just glad that I don't have to listen to silly stuff like that anymore. :cheese:

[blondecat]

My mother kept my hair very short as a child, till high school, then I was allowed shoulder lenght hair.

My classmates were always at me to cut cut cut even tho, to me it wasnt long (sl) (this was the 70's for crying out loud)

Strangely in the last yr My mother just started to say my hair was / is lovely [46 yrs a tad late]
Im 47 now.

Today a hairdresser complimented my hair without further comment. Good stuff :)
I get random comments but they are all very nice. No one has asked my age in 5 yrs. Very nice indeed.

[Mesmerise]

Isn't it funny how many stupid reasons people have as to why others should not grow their hair!

For example: it's too thin and fine/it's too heavy and thick lol. Maybe even "it's too straight, it will look flat" or "it's too curly so you can't grow it long'...

I just think people should shut the heck up and let others do what they want :). I have never actually had anyone tell me to cut my hair... except in high school :rolleyes:. Of course, it's never been long enough to warrant comment.

I do have a friend who has a tendency to chop her hair when she's stressed (and she told me that in the past she had knee length hair!!) and now hers is a growing out pixie, and she tells me NOT to cut my hair even if it frustrates me, because she's frustrated with her own!

But yeah, sometimes I think it doesn't matter WHAT sort of hair you have, people will find something wrong with it!

[Katze]

Yes, all the time. 'Oh,' (usually accompanied with sympathetic yet pitying glance), 'you want LONG hair? Do you even think that's possible?'

MIL is a wonderful person and I have become quite close to her, but she really disapproves of my hair (oddly, more than she does of her son's, now BSL, hair!). I think the thin, unruly length looked unkempt and ratty to her.

Now that I've chopped, I wonder what she'll say? :D

[duchesswannabe]

But yeah, sometimes I think it doesn't matter WHAT sort of hair you have, people will find something wrong with it!

Or, people will find something right about it even if you find it difficult to live with.

[Mayflower]

Nobody in my family really cares about my goal of hiplenght hair, though my mother compliments me from time to time that it looks healthy and has gotten so long.
But, nobody seem to like me using henndigo, especially my father who wants to see me with my natural colour (not going to happen dad).

My grandma on the other hand, whom I see every day, lets a not so nice comment slip from time to time. When I comb my hair when its out of a bun, she says it looks "dry" because its poofy. But when I just put it up in a ponytail like yesterday, wavy and uncombed, it looks "stringy".
I love her anyway, if only because she is the one who henndigo's my hair every month:D.

[Piyo]

One of my coworkers said I should cut my hair because I never do anything with it. That was kind of discouraging. It would have bothered me more if he were straight, though.

My friend use to say "chop it all off" because she herself had a pixie cut, and I think she just genuinely thought shorter hair was better. She now want's "Pocahontas" hair though, so I guess shes now batting for my team. XD

[CorinaS]

One of my coworkers said I should cut my hair because I never do anything with it. That was kind of discouraging. It would have bothered me more if he were straight, though.

My friend use to say "chop it all off" because she herself had a pixie cut, and I think she just genuinely thought shorter hair was better. She now want's "Pocahontas" hair though, so I guess shes now batting for my team. XD

I here that pretty often too: that I don't do anything with my hair. I'm not so interested in hairstyle, even though it can change a person's look quite a lot. I'm more into the beauty of the hair itself. I think most people look good with plain simple long hair, even if it's straight, curly, wavy or whatever. I think it gives a bohemian/mystic/romantic look to a person.

[kittykat86]

My entire side of the family is after me to cut my hair short again. When I met DH I had short hair that I could spike up in the back. He asked me if I would be willing to grow my hair out as long as I could. Today, my hair is 22" long and hitting just past APL on my back. Before this, the longest my hair had ever been was SL at most. I am working my way to Classic length and maybe even longer. I don't care what my family says to me because DH's family loves my hair and that makes up for it.

[Pumpkin]

Until I hit bra strap length recently, no one has said anything about the length of my hair. I don't talk about growing my hair out to anyone, so any negative comment directed toward me has been unsolicited.

I had a woman at church tell me that I needed a haircut, as she ran her fingers through the ends of my hair. I felt like slugging her! If you are not my husband...DO NOT touch my hair. Now, when I calmed down, I considered the source. She is a hairdresser (makes a living cutting hair, HELLO!?!) and she has a very short pixie cut.

Funny how every negative comment I am getting is coming from a woman...not one man. I only get compliments from men...go figure. I just assume the women who say negative comments are jealous. Sad, really.

As far as I am concerned, I will continue on my hair growing journey and ignore the petty comments. I am happy with myself, and that's all that matters.

[humble_knight]

My co-workers [they're all female] comment on how short hair suits me better than longer. I wouldn't say it was jealousy. I think it's that long hair on men in my working environment is highly unusual. Oh, well, tough cheese to them! :face:

[PixxieStix]

Well, my longest layers *just* hit shoulder length, and therefore I do not believe I will hear any negative comments for quite some time about the length. When I was younger I constantly received comments from my mother and a few adults that I may want to consider cutting off some of my hair because of all the split ends. Well, not gonna lie, they were pretty bad! My once every 1-2 years haircut always loped off 6+ inches of dry, ratty, horribly split ends. This time around, I don't plan on letting that happen. :D

I have to say, I can't wait for the day my hair is long enough that someone makes the mistake of asking me if I'm growing out my hair to donate to Locks of Love, 'cause let me tell you, that person will likely never make such a mistake again. My poor baby brother gets asked all the time if he's going to donate his hair, and if he is so shy and quiet and sweet, but it makes him upset when people do that. He's been growing his hair for over five years and has no intention of losing all that in one swift snip of the scissors.

[honeydippedxo]

When I had TBL hair the only person in my life who had a problem with it was my moms best friend Diana. Almost every time I saw her we would have this little conversation.

Her: Your hair is too long.
Me: No it's not C:
Her: Yes it is.
Me: Oh Diana (laugh)

I love her. I've known her since I was 9. She comes off rude and sarcastic. It always seems like she has a problem with everything and everyone. She seems like she doesn't like anyone and like she's picking on people all the time. But once you get to know her you find out that's just her sense of humor. She's really quite sweet and caring. But she's dead serious when it comes to my (once) long hair. I didn't mind it though after all I don't really care for her hair either (not that I would ever mention it to her). We obviously have very different tastes and styles so I get why she doesn't like it. My opinion of myself trumps everyone else's opinion about me and I say I'M THE BOMB DIGGITYY woop woop! Yay Mee! C:

[Amber_Maiden]

Me: I hate that my hair is more than half maroon.
My Mom: Why not just cut it off?
Me: CUT IT OFF?! Why would I do that?
My Mom: You just said you didn't like you hair maroon!

:(

[lajsa]

My mom and my sister keep "suggesting" that I should cut my hair, that it's dead and ugly at the ends. I mostly ignore them. It's not their business what I do with my head, and I believe I know my own hair better than they do. They don't really say it in a hurtful way, though, more like a bit of a joke or something.

My grandma, on the other hand, always compliments me because she thinks long hair is feminine and pretty... and she liked it when I wore a braided bun the other day because apparently my great grandma used to wear her hair like that. Apparently she had long hair because she was pretty hardcore christian and didn't cut it because of her faith or something like that. I found that a pretty interesting story. My grandmother's family were Laestadians, I think.
Oh, and my aunt on my mother's side usually compliments my colour and likes to sit and fiddle with my hair sometimes. So it's not all bad :D

[Manny1826]

A lot of my "friends" would discourage me from growing my hair long-- always saying the classic "you have such a pretty face that gets hidden behind all of that hair".... I'll never understand why people get so uncomfortable if someone tries to look a little unusual. Also, as people get older, so many do that very short haircut... my mom has hair past the middle of her back, is 55, and it makes her look SOOO much younger than she is. It is very frustrating when people give such a negative opinion about how you look-- whether how you dress, or how you wear your hair. One of my friends in fact used to always tell me to try to look more "modern"... that it woudl help with dating, etc... which used to really tick me off...

[xoerincolleen]

My hair is a bit past waist and my mom tells me that if I don't cut it soon, I'll become "one of those weird girls". It's my hair mom, I'm gonna grow it to my butt!

[cheetahfast]

To be honest I don't even think my family notices if I grow my hair or not!

When I had it longer they said nothing about it, now I guess the longest layer was MBL so maybe it wasn't too long seeming. The one time my mother said anything about it was that when I went to get my hair keratin straightened it might cost extra since it is long. It didn't :shrug:

A few of my friends are growing their hair too. One who keeps her hair short encouraged me to grow mine.

I'm sure once everyone realizes how long I want it I'll get some discouragement. Right now I'm glad there isn't any.

[sally_neuf]

I think you should post that beautiful pic of knee length hair in this topic, and let us be the judges! :D (I bet is gorgeous!)

[Diamond.Eyes]

I don't take offense when people call me a ginger, because I am :shrug:, but when people attempt to belittle me by calling me explicit names such as "fire crotch", that shows just how ignorant and disgusting they really are. It's kind of funny though; three of the girls who used to make fun of me for having red hair, dyed their hair red soon after. Not meaning to pat my own back, but that really shows that it was just pure jealousy. Some girls really aren't as complicated to read as they think they are. ;)

[candycandace]

My mom trys so hard to make me feel like crap. In fact today she told me to go take a shower because my hair looked greasy, though she knows I showered this morning and my hair is shiny and clean. I flew back to Arizona to see her for the holidays, and we were sitting at the kitchen table last night and she stared at me for a good two minutes and said, "you should really have your chin shaved down or something, you look like a man." She is not a mother to me.

[MonaLisa]

Oh candy I'm so sorry to hear this.
Is she OK? Sounds to me like she has some problems most likely...

And you're beautiful.

[candycandace]

Oh candy I'm so sorry to hear this.
Is she OK? Sounds to me like she has some problems most likely...

And you're beautiful.
Thank you so much, you are nice.
Actually her grief counselor told her she was depressed about six months ago, after that she stopped going. I try not to hold her actions against her because I know she's not mentally well, but even on her good days when she seems back to normal she'll say the meanest things. She takes her frustrations out on me and hurts me in ways that she knows are effective.

[*Seraphina*]

Candy you are beautiful!

[ktani]

Okay I can understand my mom complaining about her vacuum cleaner giving out on her because my hair got in the roller brush, but has anyone else "disapproved" of your long hair? Not that their opinion actually counts unless asked for.

I emailed my knee length pic to some friends I hadn't seen in years and they reacted unexpectedly negative. "Tina! This is too much! This doesn't look nice. You should donate it...." on and on. Kind of ticked me off. I expected something a little more encouraging from my friends, I guess.

I can understand your disappointment. However, the length is most likely just outside of their "comfort zone".

If the length pleases you, that is all that really counts.

Have I ever faced that? Yes, mostly from my mom years ago and then she changed her mind, lol. People do that.

When I started to cut my own hair my SIL said she liked the longer length and started to grow her own hair longer. People do that too.

You may inspire other people to do the same. You never know.

[PlainLight]

Reading this thread makes me very thankful. Most of the people I know, even those who don't have long hair themselves, respect it as part of my religion and think it is very beautiful. My grandmother, who is normally very critical of my appearance and how I dress, talks admiringly about how long my hair has gotten and how nice it looks when I wear it down (she doesn't like my headcoverings, since she left a conservative church when she was young.) My grandfather keeps asking if he should help me trim it. (I tell him thanks but no thanks!) Recently my fiance said something that was a little discouraging (in the opposite way than most) even though he didn't mean it to be. :( He was comparing my hair to the Baptist girls he used to know whose hair was far longer even when they braided it, than mine is now. I already have a hard time sometimes, not being jealous when I see girls with such long beautiful hair that has never been trimmed, and wish I hadn't caved in and cut mine years ago.

[Micayla47]

Yes. My mom has said it is trashy looking to have very long hair. It is my hair to do as I please. Who cares what others think. Opinions are like butts, everybody has one. People will always have some reason to not like something.
opinions are like butts: everyone has one and they don't always smell so good!

[silverpiper]

I've never understood why people think other peoples hair is their business, anyway. My aunt used to nag me about my hair until my mom told her to leave me alone.

I've also found that these people could really use some hair advice themselves. lol

[shutterpillar]

I don't really get discouragement... just kind of a nod and a look of "yeah right" when I tell people my goal.

My husband is my number one supporter. He is actually the one that encouraged me to grow out my hair, and would like me to grow it to my ankles. LOL. I told him that is probably not going to happen, so we settled on tailbone. So his opinion (and my own) are the only ones I care about. :)

[LadyHazel]

Yes!! My mum especially. I went out and spent over one hundred pounds on hair care products and a long supply of hair vitamins and she said the most unintelligent thing for a mature woman: 'your hair used to be long, now you've cut it short, it will never grow back.' Erm all because you cut hair doesn't mean your bodily processes stop along the way too. Jeez. Now look, its past by bra strap from a bob and my does she feel dumb! Long hair's beautiful, jealousy isn't, every girl wants long hair and all because they're your friends or family doesn't mean that they don't secretely want it themselves.

Now I've gone past this stage she's now trying to say that I won't ever get it as long as what it was before, but technically that just shows I can because I have the genetics.

101 reasons why you should listen to your heart only!

[spookyghost]

So far no one has discouraged me but I dont really talk about it too much. My hair is between APL and BSL. I really dont talk about it because I have noticed that if I ever talk about something that really means alot to me I dont get any positive comments. Many times no comment at all. This is not from family so thats good!:)

That type of reaction is from co-workes and parents of my sons friends, etc., non family members. For example-I have mentioned at work how I have been oiling my hair for growth and its health and no one even got curious! Really? I would have been all over that person asking questions and where they were getting all this wonderful information from. Even the two co-workers who are dealing with thinning hair and hair loss. Another example is when I lost 20lbs-no one at work even commented on the weight loss. And it was noticable. My husband says its simple jealousy. There are some people who just cant give out a compliment. I agree with him. Thats too bad too. Me however-I give out compliments all the time!;) Why not make someones day?

[swearnsue]

I know every woman on this board is going to quick to jump on this boyfriend's behavior. Ask y'all selves have you done the same thing with your boyfriend or husband. Woman like to compare behavior rather than appearance. You will find say Bob's behavior to be favorable in some way and hint to him that you like this behavior and wish he be that way. Men want you to admire them not Bob. We don't like to be compared unfavorably to other men no more than you do with other women. Women are usually more subtle than blunt with it but it comes off the exact same way. To a man this is a respect issue.

I never looked at it that way, about how men and women compare differently and you are right. I didn't realize that it would be hurtful to my husband, but you're right. How many times have I said something like, "Hey Hon look, Bob bought his wife some really pretty earrings, isn't that nice of him?" *cringe* Thanks for the marriage counseling!

[CocoBean]

Thank you!

I've got on pajamas. The bottoms are white with a delicate pink and green floral pattern, the top is a pink camisole.

I LOVE your hair!! I'm 58, growing it out, and refuse to listen to anyone who says otherwise (esp. re hair length for our age).

My great grandmother, and my grandmother both had hair down to their tailbone. But they always wore it up in the traditional cinnamon bun. I've been doing that myself everyday at work so my co-workers are clueless as to really how long my hair is. I think here in Calif, it's a little more laid back.

I did feel compelled or pressured to cut my hair when we lived in the midwest and I was just past 50. Had it cut super short... and have regretted it ever since. :rolleyes:

[MagicalMystery]

Lots of people have discouraged my from going long, especially my mother. But she is a huge pessimist and I usually do the opposite she tells me. :D

[Zarina]

My personal favorite, "Just keep in mind, women over 40 look silly and desperate with long girlish hair." - my EX-stylist replying to me a couple of years back on me telling her I was 35.

My reply to her I can't post on here. :)

[ozzy]

Few do, but yeah there will always be people who will be against, the thing is, you've got to follow what YOU want to do, regardless of peoples opinion.
Happy growing :)

[barely.there]

I had short hair for awhile and really looked like a boy. Now that its APL I've been getting a lot of great compliments!

However, I've been told a zillion times since I was a little girl "Your hair is too thin, you won't be able to grow it out very long".

Now that I have some patience, I guess we'll see!

ETA: my mother's hair length never got to APL because she was always perming it and what not. She has expressed that she is a lil jealous of my hair :P But, she never had the patience to begin with.

Also, my hubby has BSL hair. (used to be near waist). His company he works for told him they didn't like long hair. But its just a friggin desk job answering phones (he keeps his hair in either a braid or ponytail.) He put his foot down. They don't bother him anymore.

[In|{girl]

I went to school in Canada for a year and at first everyone was like "OMG your hair is so long, that's amazing" but for some reason after that first encouragement everyone started with like "Why do you have so long hair? You should definitly cut it" and "What use is that hair to you? You should donate it" :( luckily now I moved back and when I told my old friends they were really mad at those other people and said if I ever cut my hair they'll kill me :D

[spookyghost]

My personal favorite, "Just keep in mind, women over 40 look silly and desperate with long girlish hair." - my EX-stylist replying to me a couple of years back on me telling her I was 35.

My reply to her I can't post on here. :)

You are too funny! I love your response-I bet it was great!:lol:

[amanda_the_tall]

yes! in fact, i just got my butt over here to find this thread real quick. i was showing my hair stylist friend a picture of the red hair color i was wanting to try (semi permanently, mind you) and she was all 'no no it'll make you red it'll look bad.' so apparently i looked bad when i was in high school and had a red tint to my hair? THEN she said 'we can do red highlights if you want red'. that'll just kill my hair, it can't take bleach, it can barely take permanent hair color going darker. AND she is constantly saying i should let her mess with it, when the last time i did she hairsprayed and back combed it and pulled it so tight, i literally had a headache after only 15 minutes. then when i tried to wash it out nearly half my hair fell off. she is always wanting to cut it super short (like hers, she has a pixie cut) and dye it blond (i hate blond on myself). i've told her i'm trying to grow it out and she says 'oh but i want to cut it shorter, it'll look nice with layers in it, i'll only cut it to neck length'. NO. i have layers now and i'm trying to get rid of them! it's like she wants my hair to be multi color, short, fried, and crappy like hers. *not saying you can't have nice multi color short hair, i'm sure there are people who do that and treat it very well* it just makes me so mad. don't even get me started on how she never has to do anything, then gets mad that i can't go out and party with her until 3 am in a bar. i'm sorry, i'm in school working towards pharmacy school. i have a job in a pharmacy. i don't get to sit around and bleach and dye and cut my hair every week and complain that no one likes me then say all the cute guys hit on me on facebook. this girl has been workin on my nerves every since she got out of cosmetology school because she thinks that gives her license to be able to persuade me to do what she wants to my head. i'm planning on not bringing up hair with her again. really sorry guys, i just really needed to rant.

[CocoBean]

I went to school in Canada for a year and at first everyone was like "OMG your hair is so long, that's amazing" but for some reason after that first encouragement everyone started with like "Why do you have so long hair? You should definitly cut it" and "What use is that hair to you? You should donate it" :( luckily now I moved back and when I told my old friends they were really mad at those other people and said if I ever cut my hair they'll kill me :D


Good for you for hanging in there!! I'm sure it's pretty!

[VikingVampChick]

My personal favorite, "Just keep in mind, women over 40 look silly and desperate with long girlish hair." - my EX-stylist replying to me a couple of years back on me telling her I was 35.

My reply to her I can't post on here. :)


:hifive:
...........

[Bene]

I can't say anyone has ever tried to discourage me. I think it's a combination of two things.


1) I don't talk about it. I don't flaunt it. I don't turn my hair into a conversation piece. It's on my head and that's it. I don't draw attention to it. I've seen people who do. Blatant hair flipping, stiff necked movements, extensive preening... I don't do that stuff.


2) My friends are really supportive. On the rare occasions that anyone has ever talked about it, I've only received positive comments about my hair. I'm close to tailbone, and I've yet to hear any "It's too long" nonsense. I've heard "Oooooh, grow some for me!" or "Man, I wish I had that kind of patience" but never anything discouraging or negative.


I guess I'm lucky :shrug:

[UpNorth]

I&#180;m happy to know my DBF loves long hair (his ex-girlfriend had classic+ and perfect hair so I have a hard time living up to that. and NO I had the same hair goal before I met him so thats not why i&#180;m growing it!)

I have a friend though who dislike long hair. Like I care! Most of my friends are metalheads and among them long hair is status.

[InTheCity]

My mom - who would NEVER do or say anything to hurt me even the slightest bit.
It's not so much discouragement as truth when she tells me my hair is too thin to look good at anything other than short lengths. :(

[Hollyfire3]

My mom - who would NEVER do or say anything to hurt me even the slightest bit.
It's not so much discouragement as truth when she tells me my hair is too thin to look good at anything other than short lengths. :(

I'll bet your hair ISN'T too thin to look GREAT at longer lengths! I see your siggy pics, it looks awsome! Keep it up!:)

[Hollyfire3]

yes! in fact, i just got my butt over here to find this thread real quick. i was showing my hair stylist friend a picture of the red hair color i was wanting to try (semi permanently, mind you) and she was all 'no no it'll make you red it'll look bad.' so apparently i looked bad when i was in high school and had a red tint to my hair? THEN she said 'we can do red highlights if you want red'. that'll just kill my hair, it can't take bleach, it can barely take permanent hair color going darker. AND she is constantly saying i should let her mess with it, when the last time i did she hairsprayed and back combed it and pulled it so tight, i literally had a headache after only 15 minutes. then when i tried to wash it out nearly half my hair fell off. she is always wanting to cut it super short (like hers, she has a pixie cut) and dye it blond (i hate blond on myself). i've told her i'm trying to grow it out and she says 'oh but i want to cut it shorter, it'll look nice with layers in it, i'll only cut it to neck length'. NO. i have layers now and i'm trying to get rid of them! it's like she wants my hair to be multi color, short, fried, and crappy like hers. *not saying you can't have nice multi color short hair, i'm sure there are people who do that and treat it very well* it just makes me so mad. don't even get me started on how she never has to do anything, then gets mad that i can't go out and party with her until 3 am in a bar. i'm sorry, i'm in school working towards pharmacy school. i have a job in a pharmacy. i don't get to sit around and bleach and dye and cut my hair every week and complain that no one likes me then say all the cute guys hit on me on facebook. this girl has been workin on my nerves every since she got out of cosmetology school because she thinks that gives her license to be able to persuade me to do what she wants to my head. i'm planning on not bringing up hair with her again. really sorry guys, i just really needed to rant.

Hugs to you! I say maybe find a new stylist? You would looke GREAT red, just saying and she has NO idea what she is talking about! No one should discourage you! Your hair is beautiful and will be so beautiful long! Gosh, it makes me angry when stylists do that, I'm sorry it happened to you, you don't deserve it or need it, I say just let it roll off your backa dn carry on with your gorgeous, soon to be red and super long hair!:)

[swearnsue]

My mother doesn't like my henna and tells me so. She believes that older ladies should have lighter colored hair because it makes a person look younger. She may be right but I just love my dark red henna-smooth hair. I look my age which is fine with me...I've earned it!

[Doxieee]

Wow.. I'm shocked to read some of the discouraging stories! I must admit, I've been lucky, my mother has waist length hair & they hate when I cut my hair & my boyfriend loves when my hair is longer, he says its silky & soft, I have good support.. thought my bf thinks I'm a bit wack-o with my slight obsession with keeping my hair as healthy as I can & using all natural products, learning/reading new ways to treat my locks.

[amanda_the_tall]

Hugs to you! I say maybe find a new stylist? You would looke GREAT red, just saying and she has NO idea what she is talking about! No one should discourage you! Your hair is beautiful and will be so beautiful long! Gosh, it makes me angry when stylists do that, I'm sorry it happened to you, you don't deserve it or need it, I say just let it roll off your backa dn carry on with your gorgeous, soon to be red and super long hair!:)

daww i just saw this! *hug* thanks hollyfire :)
fortunately i haven't let her touch my hair since halloween, and i don't plan on anyone messin with it for a while! and yes, it'll be red by this time next week! :D

[EdG]

My personal favorite, "Just keep in mind, women over 40 look silly and desperate with long girlish hair." - my EX-stylist replying to me a couple of years back on me telling her I was 35.Translation: we're bad for business. :D
Ed

[panffle]

Mine is not about the length, but about my natural hair!
A friend of mine used to tell me that my dark, stick-straight hair was dull and boring. Well, she had dark blonde wavy hair that was beautiful, so I'd get a bit... self-counscious, I guess.
That until she started straightening her hair and said she wanted to dye it black. Hey, wasn't it boring...? hahaha! So I just brushed off everything she said.
Plus, everyone else around me is quite supportive, so I don't mind such comments anymore.

[theRedEarl]

Wow sycamoreboutiqu, that picture is sublime. The color, texture, absolutely gorgeous.

[MissManda]

Yes!! My mum especially. I went out and spent over one hundred pounds on hair care products and a long supply of hair vitamins and she said the most unintelligent thing for a mature woman: 'your hair used to be long, now you've cut it short, it will never grow back.' Erm all because you cut hair doesn't mean your bodily processes stop along the way too. Jeez. Now look, its past by bra strap from a bob and my does she feel dumb! Long hair's beautiful, jealousy isn't, every girl wants long hair and all because they're your friends or family doesn't mean that they don't secretely want it themselves.

Now I've gone past this stage she's now trying to say that I won't ever get it as long as what it was before, but technically that just shows I can because I have the genetics.

101 reasons why you should listen to your heart only!

Oh, I've gotten a similar comment from a relative of mine after I cut my hip+ hair into a bob when I was 12. It never made sense to me, either. :p Silly, silly people.

[ozzy]

My friend kept talking about how I needed to cut my hair, and how good I will look. After I left she kept texting me pictures of short hair. I had enough of her, but couldn't tell her to **** off so I spend few minutes photoshoped my pic, sended to her. She replied oh yeah looks good but it's a bit too short...

[Johanna]

I've only had a few people that have had anything negative to say about my hair.

- My ex said I should cut it really short and dye it. This was during the last breath of our relationship. Turns out what he wanted me to do was the exact cut of the girl he cheated on me with. So glad I was adamant about not changing.
- A friend who keeps wanting me to cut it short.
- A friend who is a stylist, I think her scissor hand gets twitchy when I'm around lol.

Except for those select few everyone else has been super supportive or even inspired to grow their own.

[palaeoqueen]

People know I'm growing my hair but how much I want to grow it hasn't ever come up (I don't even know tbh, I have this fear that I might have a very short terminal). When I used to straighten my hair every day my mum would tell me it was too fine and thin to have longer than shoulder length. Funnily enough she was right, it didn't suit me at all when I wore it that way and it got longer. This is not to say that natural fine straight looks bad when it's long, of course not, but mine was so flattened, lifeless and dull that it did actually look terrible past shoulder length. I'm hoping that now I'm embracing my natural waves and volume she'll agree that it will look GREAT past shoulder length :D And if not I'll be doing it regardless but I really think it will suit me so much more.

Funnily enough my mum always used to tell me how she preferred my hair darker. She was right about that too :lol:

[Chess]

The last time I went to a salon, I asked if they had anyone on staff who specialized in working with long hair. The perky, 20-something receptionist looked at me and, I kid you not, said, "Oh, you don't want that. Most ladies your age really prefer to keep their hair short - you'll look so much more fashionable!"

Give me credit. I didn't slap her, I just left.

[Silverbrumby]

My mother said any woman over 40 should have short hair or wear it up. I love the fact I live in a place where the women run wild and free. There are many silver haired women with long flowing hair.

[Chess]

I aspire to be one of those women when I grow up, Silverbrumby!

[gogirlanime]

My hair is only 18 inches long but my sister discourages me (although she does with everything) she thinks me taking care of my hair the LHC way is stupid but really it is just jealousy that she doesn't know how to take care of her hair well. My sister doesn't like to swallow her pride and admit that her older sister can be right sometimes.

[Jessy22284]

- My ex said I should cut it really short and dye it. This was during the last breath of our relationship. Turns out what he wanted me to do was the exact cut of the girl he cheated on me with. So glad I was adamant about not changing.


wow :boxer: what a jerk.


I have a couple friends who tease me about my methods (trimming/S&Ding with the moon/signs, oiling, my silk pillowcase) but are overall supportive; and then other friends who try to discourage me. Usually when I show them on my body where I want to grow my hair they go "Ughhhh, why would you want to grow it SOOOO long!!! It's going to look so bad!" My response is usually, "Why would it look bad, doesn't it look good now, I always take good care of my hair?" And then they usually go "Oh, well, yea, you're right, I guess it wouldn't. Hm" One of them has chin length hair (She also told me I would look like a hippy :p) and says that she can't grow her hair out because it would look too thin, the other one has long BSL hair herself and says she had MBL hair that was "annoying".

It doesn't matter, I'm going to do what I want. :cool:

[melusine963]

1) I don't talk about it. I don't flaunt it. I don't turn my hair into a conversation piece. It's on my head and that's it. I don't draw attention to it. I've seen people who do. Blatant hair flipping, stiff necked movements, extensive preening... I don't do that stuff.


This. No-one discourages me because (with the exception of one particular friend) I don't discuss my hair with anyone. I've found that even mentioning my hair just leads to a pile of unsolicited advice from people who have no clue about dealing with long hair. I'm growing my hair for me, not to draw attention to myself.

[Amanah]

My hair is barely shoulder length.
When I mentioned to a few coworkers that I was going to trim my own hair,
they were dumbfounded.
One commented that she had a friend who could trim it for only $5.00. I had to explain it wasn't the money.
Another commented that that would not work as I needed to go to a salon to get a real hairdo.

Our society is so brain-washed by the media, that people can't imagine someone trimming and styling their own hair. And yet I believe that before women began "bobbing" their hair in the 20s many women had long hair that they trimmed and styled themselves, keeping it in an updo or something.

[HintOfMint]

The last time I went to a salon, I asked if they had anyone on staff who specialized in working with long hair. The perky, 20-something receptionist looked at me and, I kid you not, said, "Oh, you don't want that. Most ladies your age really prefer to keep their hair short - you'll look so much more fashionable!"

Give me credit. I didn't slap her, I just left.

My god, how insufferable! You get all the credit in the world for just walking away.

[RisaMoe]

I've had my share of people try to 'help me understand' that their view of my hair is really the better one - it's too long, my hair would be healthier, short hair is easier - I just shake my head and dismiss them.

Last time I was at the salon (yes, I go) several of us had a discussion about hair length and why some of us get a panic attack when they see scissors while others can whack their hair off without a second thought.

My stylist made an insightful comment that helped me understand where some of these comments are coming from. She said that her hair is not part of her identity, so she doesn't have a problem with changing it.

It sounds like many of us 'hair identity folks' may be running across people who's hair is more of a current fashion statement - which, like fashion, can change pretty regularly.

[Rivanariko]

I wear my hair in a braid most of the time, as wearing hairsticks at my work makes me somewhat nervous. We were walking down the stairs from the dining hall the other day and one of my residents was behind me and told me "You seriously need to cut your hair. You look like a Native!"

Despite the obviously racist undertones there (which surprised me from her) I had to laugh. And I was a little flattered. I've always admired the gorgeously long hair seen on some Native American women.

I've had very little negativity when it comes to my hair, but like a few others have said, I don't bring it up. I wear it in a braid often, so people will occasionally comment on it, but it's usually a "wow, your hair is really long!" and I don't continue the conversation much beyond there.

[heidi w.]

My sister. She's always going on about how dry and damaged my hair is, and that I should cut and straighten it to make it better. :rolleyes: She also seems to think people can't physically grow long hair after age 21 and I should stop trying before I embarrass myself.

Ah, well, I love her anyway. :p

Point out to her that she's lucky that theory isn't true, because if it was, she'd be bald.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Our society is so brain-washed by the media, that people can't imagine someone trimming and styling their own hair. And yet I believe that before women began "bobbing" their hair in the 20s many women had long hair that they trimmed and styled themselves, keeping it in an updo or something.

There's loads of historical evidence available. For one, historically, there used to be far more hair that was fairly long in past decades. Lots of carte d'vistas (former way of photographing) abound. A friend of mine has quite the collection of evidence in albums that he personally put together of his collection.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

What would happen to all these women if they couldn't afford to go to a salon? I have a very practical hairstyle, actually, and it costs me no money to have it this way. It's not that hard to take care of.

heidi w.

[whitebengal]

Lately ive had more and more people telling me to cut my hair because its too long. My reply is "I like it this way so Im gonna keep it :)" they get annoyed with me when i say this and tell me im wrong. How can i be wrong when i say that i like my hair how it is? Oh well! I just ignore it! Most of the time i get positive comments though :). Hehe i must admit i love the attention :p

[thirstylocks]

I'm lucky - my dad and my boyfriend love long hair, and my mom is supportive. So I have a ton of support growing it out. When it used to be longer, MANY friends would go on and on about how useless it was to have long hair if it was so damaged. Mind your own business! Don't you think I know if my hair is fried? I don't need a reminder.

[Kittykins]

My mum is very supportive because she can see I take good care of it. She also helps me henna it and style it sometimes. My boyfriend is also very supportive. He has APL length hair and I S&D his hair for him. My friends haven't noticed that I'm growing it yet.

[Tabihito]

I had someone tell me I should cut my hair because it 'doesn't look like I take care of it' today. In his defense, I didn't have a hairbrush this morning and he saw me take it down to redo my bun. And my haircut is wonky because I'm still growing out bangs (they're getting close to shoulder now).

But still, it was sort of discouraging.

[ApatheticFairy]

A few coworkers commented on my hair because I wore it down the other day (I didn't have time to put it up) that it was shorter than they thought it was since I wear it bunned all the time, then went on to say they know a "great stylist" that could "thin out the bulk" of my wavy hair.

I was a little sad at their comments, and they when they asked why, I said I was trying to grow it out to tailbone length and they were pretty horrible about it, saying that it would look "ratty and moldy" because I wear it up so often. I just shrugged and said that I heard that wearing it up protected it, that I was doing an experiment. For Science. Then boldly strode off.

My boyfriend, however, is very supportive of my length dream, but very quietly laments the fact that I'm blonde instead of dying it red. (and gives the sad puppy dog look at the last box of red dye in the closet every so often) He's never berating, but I think he just has a thing for redheads. I just don't think it works for me, since I'm so pink (I think my rosacea plus red dye is too overwhelming on my face) and refuse to wear foundation to fix it. But he makes me feel a bit guilty that I feel more confident as a blonde.

[sparrowswing]

My mom absolutely hates long hair. Apparently she felt socially obligated to keep her hair long as a teenager in the hippie generation, and as soon as shorter hair became the "in" style, she went with it and never looked back. And she has encouraged me to do the same most of my life. I remember when I was young - 4-7 years old, mostly - all the pictures I drew of girls had hair at least to their knees, and it drove her nuts. She swore if I ever tried growing it that long, she'd sneak into my room at night and cut it. It never came to that, but I think my dad's love of long hair played a big role in that.

Now I'm living several hours away from my parents, so every trip home is full of my dad mooning over my locks and my mom frowning and dropping the occasional scathing remark but accepting that there's not really anything she can do to convince me. My boyfriend loves my hair, though, and while he's happy with any decision I make, he wants me to grow my hair out super-long.

I'm pretty sure I get more positive reactions than negative.

[SilverDoe]

No one knows I'm growing it out, and at nearly BSL it's nothing out of the ordinary. But my mother is extremely discouraging about ANY change I want to make hair wise.
If it's a new routine, CO washing, stepping away from chemical dyes to henna, colour B4, honey lightening, home made treatments - she freaks out & tells me I'm going to permanently mess up my hair.

Almost all changes & experimentation has been positive & for the better, she seems to think it was just luck.
She's had a mullet for 25 years, and does not use anything moisturizing at all. Really mom, I can handle it.

[millyaulait]

Not yet - I keep my hair up so much that nobody really knows it's past SL.

My SO doesn't like that I don't look 'perfect' all the time anymore because I stretch my washes.

But then again he doesn't like anything I do these days....

I'm just trying to love myself but he is unsupportive of hair/skin care & weightloss eventhough he makes digs at me for not being thin/long haired/clear skinned. :-(

[bte]

Translation: we're bad for business. :D
Ed
Exactly - come the revolution, when the longhairs take over, we'll have to lock the stylists up!
It's one of my prod boasts that I have never paid a stylist. The last time I had a haircut which anyone (my parents, otherwise it wouldn't have happened!) paid for was in 1969 when I was 14.

[Falcore]

Not yet - I keep my hair up so much that nobody really knows it's past SL.

My SO doesn't like that I don't look 'perfect' all the time anymore because I stretch my washes.

But then again he doesn't like anything I do these days....

I'm just trying to love myself but he is unsupportive of hair/skin care & weightloss eventhough he makes digs at me for not being thin/long haired/clear skinned. :-(

:( Oh, that's sh**ty he should be the one person you'd expect to be supportive and be bringing you up. Not down!

You have lots of support from us all :) hugs to you

[Carolyn]

My parents didn't like long hair. My mom was pretty vocal about it until I was in my 20s. I had started growing it out in the 9th grade when I was finally allowed to style and care for it myself. She continued with the anti long hair comments until several years after I was out of college. Other than that no one has been interested enough in my hair to comment on it. If they thought it looked awful they kept their comments to themselves. My internet friends have been very supportive but no one other than one friend really is. No one is being discouraging now but it would be nice to have some real life encouragement and support.

[browneyedsusan]

A few coworkers commented on my hair because I wore it down the other day (I didn't have time to put it up) that it was shorter than they thought it was since I wear it bunned all the time, then went on to say they know a "great stylist" that could "thin out the bulk" of my wavy hair.

I was a little sad at their comments, and they when they asked why, I said I was trying to grow it out to tailbone length and they were pretty horrible about it, saying that it would look "ratty and moldy" because I wear it up so often. I just shrugged and said that I heard that wearing it up protected it, that I was doing an experiment. For Science. Then boldly strode off.

My boyfriend, however, is very supportive of my length dream, but very quietly laments the fact that I'm blonde instead of dying it red. (and gives the sad puppy dog look at the last box of red dye in the closet every so often) He's never berating, but I think he just has a thing for redheads. I just don't think it works for me, since I'm so pink (I think my rosacea plus red dye is too overwhelming on my face) and refuse to wear foundation to fix it. But he makes me feel a bit guilty that I feel more confident as a blonde.

You are a beautiful girl, ApatheticFairy! Hair goes through awkward stages, and some of them last a while. You do what's best for you and makes you happy! Your co-workers probably have no idea how they come across--unsupportive, and almost hurtful. Rock your bun! Rock your blonde! --and make sure your Sweetheart gets some extra cuddling from his blonde bombshell. ;) --nothing like a good distraction to make a man love the hair you have!

[Sisgoldenhair65]

I just had the most depressing and upsetting convo about my hair with my 18 yr old DD. She is in cosmetology school and we got to talking about my hair, of course. She said not to let it grow long because I will look like an old hippie lady!! In fact she begged me to get a "style" instead of letting it just "hang there". I just want to know why is it when people my age grow our hair we are hippies? I have nothing against hippies. It's just that I was born too late and I can't relate. I'm more of a baby boomer. But the thing that got me the most was "old". Why would long hair age me? I don't get this at all. Then she asked why I'm growing when it's up all the time? She really expressed her opposition to my long hair quest and not in a very nice way. :(

[ArienEllariel]

Whenever I see an older lady (read that as over 40) with long hair it makes me so happy. Bonus points if they're starting to grey and don't care. :D So pretty!

No one has really discouraged me from growing my hair though my dad has discouraged me from dying it. I think he just doesn't want to see me end up unhappy with how it turns out. I'm pretty confident that it'll be ok though. I'm not going to go overboard with it or anything. I just want Rapunzel hair.

I would like to note that whenever I visit a salon, the people working there have a way of making me feel a little inferior about my hair. I know it's long and the ends are somewhat damaged from past abuse but it isn't that bad. Honestly. I'm not saying that people are turning their noses up at my hair, just that I get this vibe like I'm an outsider cause I don't constantly cut or highlight my hair. Idk... maybe it's just me.

[lolot]

not everybody like things that are different in fact the mayority would not approve just the ones that have that taste, for example there are people that dislike people with a lot of tattoos but those people that have lots of them like them and find them attractive, so is for you to decide to live in the norm or not

[Five of Five]

I just had the most depressing and upsetting convo about my hair with my 18 yr old DD. She is in cosmetology school and we got to talking about my hair, of course. She said not to let it grow long because I will look like an old hippie lady!! In fact she begged me to get a "style" instead of letting it just "hang there". I just want to know why is it when people my age grow our hair we are hippies? I have nothing against hippies. It's just that I was born too late and I can't relate. I'm more of a baby boomer. But the thing that got me the most was "old". Why would long hair age me? I don't get this at all. Then she asked why I'm growing when it's up all the time? She really expressed her opposition to my long hair quest and not in a very nice way. :(

I think that, with anything which is unusual or unconventional, many people tend to associate it with one homogenous group in order to make sense of it.

You and your hair are really beautiful. I hope that in a few years mine will look something like yours. I think that the "old" comment was just because there is a vaguely misogynistic expectation in society that past a certain age, women shouldn't be allowed to draw attention to their beauty. Long hair, and yours in particular, is very eye-catching. While long hair doesn't make you look older (quite the opposite in my opinion) it may draw the attention of people who think that you are older than people who are 'supposed' to have long hair. Your daughter may have been trying to protect you from people who might stereotype you in this way.

Fortunately, most people have been really supportive of my goal for classic length hair, even if they don't like long hair themselves. I have had a few comments about needing to get a proper style, or how I looked better with short hair, but these comments were phrased as suggestions rather than absolute truths, so I didn't find it discouraging.

[Sisgoldenhair65]

I think that, with anything which is unusual or unconventional, many people tend to associate it with one homogenous group in order to make sense of it.

You and your hair are really beautiful. I hope that in a few years mine will look something like yours. I think that the "old" comment was just because there is a vaguely misogynistic expectation in society that past a certain age, women shouldn't be allowed to draw attention to their beauty. Long hair, and yours in particular, is very eye-catching. While long hair doesn't make you look older (quite the opposite in my opinion) it may draw the attention of people who think that you are older than people who are 'supposed' to have long hair. Your daughter may have been trying to protect you from people who might stereotype you in this way.

Fortunately, most people have been really supportive of my goal for classic length hair, even if they don't like long hair themselves. I have had a few comments about needing to get a proper style, or how I looked better with short hair, but these comments were phrased as suggestions rather than absolute truths, so I didn't find it discouraging.
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!! I can really use them right now. Kids really have a way of making you feel old and washed up. Funny, a week or so ago I had a similar convo with my 18 yr old stepson. He commented that my hair was getting long and I told him I was growing to classic (I showed him where that is) and he said, "Oh, like a hippie lady?". I was surprised to hear that since I have no idea how he would even know what a hippie is being 18. :cool: I calmly responded that I just want pretty hair, it has nothing to do with being a hippie. :rolleyes:

I see you are new here and at 27 posts. Welcome and congrats in reaching the first 25 posts!! Good luck on your quest for classic. I'm sure it will be beautiful!

[ArienEllariel]

Sisgoldenhair- just take the hippie comments in stride. I'd take it as a compliment :)

[kidari]

It's understandable that most people would think hair that is long enough to sit on is too much. It doesn't matter what they think unless it bothers you what they think. I think you should do what makes you happy. Most of the time your hair is probably up anyway and long hair with little to no layers look amazing in updos. I was one of those people who had a personal opinion that hair longer that hip is too much, but I have come around and changed my opinion on it. The other day I was talking to my husband saying wouldn't it be awesome if my hair was all one length and long enough to cover my body like a curtain if I were to walk around naked in the house?! He thought I was crazy and thought it would be strange but if it makes me happy and I want to grow it that long I could if I wanted to. My mom always says BSL is the longest acceptable length and on me APL looks best. I only had to listen to her when I was a child. Now as an adult I can do what I want.

[Sisgoldenhair65]

Sisgoldenhair- just take the hippie comments in stride. I'd take it as a compliment :)

I think to most teens a hippie is just "an old person with long hair". They don't truly grasp the generation and what the real hippies stood for. I'm not upset at the reference it's just that it's their way of saying I'm old. It's just interesting that both kids made the same comment unrelated.

On a positive note, my DH loves my hair long and can't wait till I get to classic! :eyebrows:

[heidi w.]

This is a time to educate your dear daughter. If she's invoking Hippie stuff, then she needs a whole lot more info than they merely took a boatload of drugs. Most hippies were not druggies; the worst they did was Marijuana. Then there's the subset that did acid.

But the Hippie movement has a long history, and brought us awareness about natural childbirth, food choices, how food is grown in our US, they were against the Vietnam War and actively protested. Their actions influenced a nation. While the Vietnam Vets came home to absolute chaos and disrespect of their effort, eventually these guys have been applauded. Some very smart people are born out of the hippie movement, and inside the Hippie Movement. They brought us art, culture, music. Lots of bands: Jefferson Airplane, the Beat Movement (Jack Kerouac) and more.

There's not much to be ashamed of within the Hippie Movement and its undertones still flow in some localities such as Seattle, Washington; San Francisco, California and areas such as that.

I am the daughter of a Hippie Mother, and although my mother and I don't get along it's for different reasons. I learned how to put my trash in a garbage can; how to use gray water (which wasn't a fun lesson, but I learned); how to wash my own dishes vs. a dishwasher doing the work; how to plant, grow and harvest a vegetable garden; how to sew my own clothes (which I don't do anymore, but I could if I wanted or needed) and other items. I learned how to cook; how to put oil in a car and lots of other stuff, such as how to live outdoors. I'm not excellent at it, but I know how, at least (which has come in handy a few times in my life).

Today's kids just sometimes don't know what they say. I guess I'm an old fart with a load of hair that has no style.

She's young, and in school to be a professional beauty person. Lesson #1, if you want a client and want to influence a change, don't put them down. That's not how you catch flies. It's done with honey. I know, I've done it, and it does work!! About the same timespan as a sticky roll of film to catch a fly. LOL

It takes time for kids to learn that we're all different and it's a good idea to just accept people as they are. Life is so much easier that way.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Just remember the source. She'll come to a different opinion soon. She's just all eager to have someone who will let her do what she wants with your hair. That's all. And have her google Wikipedia Hippie Movement, and actually read it. She shows her non-education on the subject by associating long hair with hippies, although it's a relevent association. But the hair meant something.

They didn't have long hair cause they simply didn't know other hair style options were available to them.

heidi w.

[heidi w.]

Lots of kids use words and have no idea what they mean. I had a neighbor kid when I was in Wisconsin call his Latino friend a derogatory epithet that is used to insult Black people. I walked right out there and set him straight. I told him flat out that where I come from he uses words like that, he's gonna get the crap beat out of him, and he'll kind of deserve it. He was the neighbor bully, and his parents left him alone ALL THE TIME. It drove the neighbors nuts, and everyone was afraid of him, which I thought was ridiculous. He became a friend and started visiting me daily, and sometimes helping me around my front yard. He wasn't a bad kid. He just needed someone to care about him. Oh, and he stopped using that kind of language, at least around me.

I had students I used to teach and they got wind that I was a German, so they took to calling me a Nazi. I one day went to school and gave a whole lecture, complete with photographs of mine and photos from books on who the Nazis were and explained to them that since they don't know the word, I'd explain it to them. I ended up with a kid getting really interested in history and all things WWII, and we had a lot of interesting discussions. Needless to say, the kids stopped using that term in my presence, at least.

But I always figure when a young kid swings around a word, that nine times out of ten, they just don't know what the word means. I would take it like that. Someone's kid doesn't know a stitch about the Hippie Movement. Guys like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs came out of the Hippie Movement and retained some roots of Hippie-ism, if you ask me, whether you like or dislike one or the other. Some of the Hippies gave her the cell phone she now has. Car improvements, and on it goes. There were some really smart people in the Hippie Movement. Critical Thinking and actually learning stuff mattered to Hippies. Everything they did had a why, and most Hippies knew their why.

I say educate the youngins. They may see your hair differently after that.
heidi w.

[Diamond.Eyes]

Yes, people try to discourage me all the time and by people I mean girls. Girls are very competitive about the stupidest things and if they are jealous of you or want something that you have, 80% they will hate you for it. I think it takes a lot more courage to tell someone that you admire them then it does to say negative things about them behind their back because you are jealous. I have had people make fun of my hair, tell me my relationship with my DF won't last, tell me that going to Cosmetology school isn't really college because all you do is play with hair all day (ha, yeah right), make fun of my pale skin a freckles, and basically slander any other aspect that is different or unique about me. It just makes people feel better about themselves if they can make something that is good about you seem stupid to other people so they can seem like a more interesting person. Oh, girls :rolleyes:...

[Shesta]

Yes. My mom. I'm not sure she even realizes how harsh her words can be. I try to stand my ground when talking about hair with her.

[Annibelle]

Yes, people try to discourage me all the time and by people I mean girls. Girls are very competitive about the stupidest things and if they are jealous of you or want something that you have, 80% they will hate you for it. I think it takes a lot more courage to tell someone that you admire them then it does to say negative things about them behind their back because you are jealous. I have had people make fun of my hair, tell me my relationship with my DF won't last, tell me that going to Cosmetology school isn't really college because all you do is play with hair all day (ha, yeah right), make fun of my pale skin a freckles, and basically slander any other aspect that is different or unique about me. It just makes people feel better about themselves if they can make something that is good about you seem stupid to other people so they can seem like a more interesting person. Oh, girls :rolleyes:...

I know what it's like to get these sorts of comments... but unfortunately, unlike you, I can't attribute it to jealousy. :laugh: Well, whether girls are jealous or not, they sure can be mean!

[Sisgoldenhair65]

Thank you for your insight, Heidi. I will def take that approach next time!!

Brighteyes, you are so pretty and your hair is to die for so the motive for any negativity to you would have to be jealousy. Sometimes beauty has a sad price. I'm so sorry people react that way to you. Good luck in cosmotology school, I'm sure you will do great!

[leslissocool]

Actually not many people! But I'm around metalheads, in a place were normal is waist length.

DH has long hair. My own family loves my hair! My grandmother on my mom side is always telling me not to cut it!

I stopped talking to the side of my family who likes short hair, they are horrible and abusive. I heard through other family members though that they thought my hair was pretty, this are the same people who forced me to cut it and didn't want to buy conditioner for my long locks...

[ClassicalBlonde]

No one I've told about wanting to grow out my hair is too keen on the idea. My mother just says it will look like rats tails if it gets that long and my sister just says "but that's way too long" :rolleyes:

I'm going to do it whether they like it or not and I think they've gotten the idea, so they don't openly bug me too much about it now.

[ladylowtide]

I think my parents think that my desire for hair growing is a passing phase (of which I have had many). My fiancee's parents don't think it is that weird probably because my fiancee's dad's hair is at least hip.

I have found that girl friends can be vicious. Most roll their eyes not even taking me seriously, or believing that hair longer than waist is possible. The others say I would look homeless, or unkempt, or insert other negative adjective here.

I think that what others in this thread have said about not volunteering information about your long term hair goals seems to be a good idea.

[redtuss]

My entire family discourages me on growing my hair and it is still at the bottom of the neck in length. My mother in front of my entire family announces to my sisters that I am growing "sissy hair". Apparently any kind of long hair is girly to my mother. Funny thing is my dad had long hair when she dated him in mid seventies. She has a very short memory apparently. My dad will tell me things like "you disgust me" or "you are worse than a woman" with your hair. It is not going to stop me from growing waist length hair. I have not shared my final hair goals with them. They just know that I am growing long hair. The less they know the better. It will just give them more to criticize.

Wow, that is horrible to read. How old are you? I assume you still live with your family?

It's abusive what they are doing to you, try not to care - it's your head, your hair and your body and noone can tell you what to do. It's your choice, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy trying to grow long hair or a girl who wants to have short/no hair - it's still your decision and your wish.

What are they afraid of?

[onlyforhim]

you are lucky to have such long hair. and it is not too much!

one of my sisters is actually encouraged to stop blowdrying her hair. My other sisters say I should cut my hair... My mother criticized me first and she actually hates to see my hair down but she likes the updos and she started to think that I am doing sth good (hopefuly it pays off at the end). my father is so happy and he thinks that nothign kilsl the hair but blow drying so he is happy for me and he even got me vitamens :D
My cousin says she will see me in one year and if olive oil works then " if it works wonder on your hair then I will do it too next year...nothing is as cheap as olive oil"
The girls in the Salon (who happen to be our neighbours and friends from 9 years) look at my hair and say it is damaged and what I am doing will nto help unless I cut it shoulder length atleast and from their point of view their straightener has nothing to do with my hair damage)
My man is so happy and can't wait to see me in 7 months (he says no one will trim it but him from now on)
so basically I briefed you on what everyone around me thinks...
hh men are happy..women are not!

[mzBANGBANG]

My family and DBF support what I am doing, however since I am not there yet I'm fairly sure I won't get any negative reactions until it is actually really long.

My entire life, my best friend always gave me terrible advice regarding my looks because of being in competition. She'd swoon over my hair when I dyed it black (I'm a natural blond) tell me it was too blond when I'd highlight it, tell me I was too tan in the summer, and when I lost a lot of weight suddenly my legs were "too thin" (I've since gained most of the weight back, so nothing to see here :shrug:). It took me a long time to realize many of her comments were just to keep me looking not my very best. The saddest part was I was never in competition with her, and could care less about the dating scene.

Goes to show be careful when you pick your friends. They don't always mean well.

[JellyBene]

In high school yes. In my freshman year the kids in the popular crowd would always try and get me to join them but I refused to play their backstabbing games and always turned them down to spend tim e with them. Instead I joined the misfits group :) this deeply offended the 'pretty girls' and the rest of high school they made my life misery. Anytime I walked across the room to get a kleenex someone would cough "ugly" and everyone would snicker, they would laugh at my hair, my clothes, tell me I was too skinny, that I looked like a man. They made me cry many many times. Other than that, people are usually pretty supportive though and I adore my friends.

[terylenerose]

Nobody's ever tried to discourage me from growing my hair, but that's probably because I haven't talked to enough people. I also don't have a specific goal length, although I know now that I want my hair to be at least classic or so and my ultimate goal is terminal if I can handle it.
My parents have tried multiple times to discourage me from not using shampoo because they think my hair will be dirty. The solution to that one is to just not tell them and to keep the dandruff away and my hair up.

[Shaun]

I have a funny answer, anyone and everyone (outside of LHC) I tell I'd like to grow my hair. My FB profile has one of me with short hair so I don't have to field any criticism. I'm planning on surprising people when I fly home for x-mas. Hopefully by then I'll be near shoulder length...

[MagicAndMayhem]

About four years ago, one of my friends used to tell me all the time to cut my waist+ length hair because it looked scraggly. Now she has classic length hair...................

[catamonica]

Well if my mother was not in another state, I know she would tell me to cut it. Its to long,
she would say.

[airmid]

I haven't had bad comments about my appearance from friends since high school. I have made new friends since then that are wonderful, loving, supportive people. My hair isn't that long yet (just past BSL), when it gets longer I feel like maybe I might have to watch myself around my family. They can be rather judgmental sometimes about other areas of my life, so I guess I'll wait and see...

[Linnet]

I LOVE your hair!! I'm 58, growing it out, and refuse to listen to anyone who says otherwise (esp. re hair length for our age).

My great grandmother, and my grandmother both had hair down to their tailbone. But they always wore it up in the traditional cinnamon bun. I've been doing that myself everyday at work so my co-workers are clueless as to really how long my hair is. I think here in Calif, it's a little more laid back.

I did feel compelled or pressured to cut my hair when we lived in the midwest and I was just past 50. Had it cut super short... and have regretted it ever since. :rolleyes:
Good for you, CocoBean! I'm 58 too with lots of grey/white growing through my (almost) waistlength hair. I've had to battle thyroid problems (thinning hair) and the fact that all the women around me have the 'over 40' attitude to long hair (note - not the men)! People seem to feel uncomfortable/insecure when they see you doing something different and not conforming to their ideas - but I enjoy being different. Please yourself - no one else. When people say, 'why don't you cut your hair?' I reply, 'why don't you grow your hair long?' That usually shuts them up!

[Linnet]

I just had the most depressing and upsetting convo about my hair with my 18 yr old DD. She is in cosmetology school and we got to talking about my hair, of course. She said not to let it grow long because I will look like an old hippie lady!! In fact she begged me to get a "style" instead of letting it just "hang there". I just want to know why is it when people my age grow our hair we are hippies? I have nothing against hippies. It's just that I was born too late and I can't relate. I'm more of a baby boomer. But the thing that got me the most was "old". Why would long hair age me? I don't get this at all. Then she asked why I'm growing when it's up all the time? She really expressed her opposition to my long hair quest and not in a very nice way. :(
Would DD be the one wanting to experiment by cutting/styling your hair perchance? Your hair looks beautiful and it isn't ageing! You could point out to her that there is so much more you can do with long hair - all the different styles plus using hair toys. How can that compare with short hair? Please just ignore her enthusiasm - hopefully she'll grow out of it!

[Jesabel]

I don't get any negative comments per say but some family members don't see the point in me actively growing it as they say "it's already long" and don't show much interest. Lots of support from my boyfriend, though he questions how much hair products I buy :p

[fayeelizibeth]

My mother doesn’t get why I would grow my hair “and never leave it down.” And my sisters both think it’s bizarre that I regularly ‘pour eggs and tea on my head’ :p.

But my grandmother…this weekend I went to her house to wish her a happy mother’s day, and I had my sister sitting in front of me and I was trying to braid her shoulder-length hair. It wasn’t really staying, but I was just having fun, and my grandmother says “Oh! You don’t know how to braid!” I said, “Yes I do, I braided my own hair” and pointed to the two French braids in my hair (which, admittedly, were a bit fluffy from being outside earlier in the day, but still secure) and she said “Oh, they’re awful.”

I could have smacked her! I mean, yeah, I’m learning, and yeah, they weren’t perfect, but to say they’re “awful” and that I “don’t know how to braid”? Perhaps if she had long hair that she braided I would be more sympathetic, but this is a woman who, as long as I can remember, has had 5-6 inches of permed, colored hair.

It just really frustrated me as I had spent a decent chunk of time braiding my own hair, and thought the style rather impressive, for her to be so dismissively rude.

Anyway, I know it’s not really a length discouragement, but it did discourage me from braiding a bit…I’ll keep practicing, but I’m seriously bummed out by the whole thing :(.

[PeacenQuietGal]

Sweetie that comment from your GrandMa could have been based on a million other things...sometimes people just "displace" their frustrations onto whomever is handy.

I think french braids always look pretty - even when they are 'messy', like a 'messy' bun, they always pretty.

Try to litterally just forget the comment! And try not to begrudge GMa too - we all have outr moments!!

Just forget it - completely forget it :) And have fun with your hair and your Sis's hair !!

[fayeelizibeth]

Sweetie that comment from your GrandMa could have been based on a million other things...sometimes people just "displace" their frustrations onto whomever is handy.

I think french braids always look pretty - even when they are 'messy', like a 'messy' bun, they always pretty.

Try to litterally just forget the comment! And try not to begrudge GMa too - we all have outr moments!!

Just forget it - completely forget it :) And have fun with your hair and your Sis's hair !!

Thanks :)

I was just taken aback at it. But you're right, I should just forget it.

[ladyofrohan]

Wow. Just . . . wow.

I've never had anyone specifically try to discourage me. I've had people who wonder when I'm going to donate my hair, or who've said that whenI cut my hair I should donate it/curl it/what have you. Mostly people just say, "Oh, you're hair's so long!" which means . . . you like to state the obvious?

I have had friends who've been harassed about donating their hair, though, and I guess I just don't understand it. Do you tell people, "Oh, you have a lot of shoes/china puppies/cats, you must donate most of it to charity immediately?"

[MiamiPineapple]

My mom likes short blonde hair. That's what she has. Too bad I don't care what she or anyone else thinks. It's my hair!

I have another friend with beautiful hair and one of our former coworkers told her that having long hair "swallowed her"....so stupid. I think alot of it is jealous. Growing hair long is takes alot of work and dedication for most of us.

PLUS if everyone hates long hair so much, why do people pay thousands for human hair extensions? Hmmmmm

[Dragon Faery]

The only one who actively says anything is my mom. She likes my hair between APL and MBL and loose. Well, and my dad doesn't like his curls (which I inherited), so he thinks I don't like mine. Which is kinda weird because I love my curls, especially now that I know what to do with them.

My mom only comments on my hair if she thinks I'm being too vain about it. To me it's a hobby, like reading fairytales or crocheting, and I like to talk at length about my hobbies. :P. But since it gets a negative reaction from her, I try to remember not to mention it.

Of course, that makes it interesting/amusing since my brother's wife likes to talk about hair with me, and we usually only see each other at my parents' house. Hehe.

Most people IRL don't know or care. On the Rez long hair is normal and admired, though most of it here is straight, blowfried, and kept up with a claw clip. But it's at least an acceptable and understandable thing here to be actively growing one's hair. :) :cheese:

[MoonlightShadow]

I'm sorry for what everyone went through :( for some people on here, it's sounds more like mental abuse rather than just discouragement.
The only thing I can remember at the moment is my mom discouraging me when I decided to go natural. She told me all my hair was going to fall out :/. And that I would be bald. I think she was mainly upset because I wasn't doing what she wanted with my hair, hence, she had no control over it. The control thing is a whole other issue lol

[MoonlightShadow]

I really wish I would found this thread alot earlier lol

[LoveAngelBeauty]

I usually don't like talking to people about my hair..especially when they offer me advice about what I should be doing which i've already spend hours reading about or putting into practice..I'm just like...0_0

[Johanna]

I've noticed that three of my friends that I have in Brisbane that were a bit negative about my long hair all have identical hair cuts now that barely touch SL. Maybe I should do the same so I can match!


Actually, no :/ Love them dearly but... no.