discouraged!!

[angela123]

5-27-11
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=7571&pictureid=104740

8-8-11
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=7571&pictureid=109895

11/13/11
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=7571&pictureid=118839

really feeling discouraged.. my hair use to grow so fast. example, i got an a line bob in nov 07 my hair was past my breast by april 08. i just dont get it! but i did promise myself im not bleaching anymore!

[justgreen]

Don't be discouraged. I'm a LONG time bleacher and I have very healthy hair. I lost some of my un-bleached (the longest length) hair last year due to a med I was on for a short time. I felt so bad, seeing the dark long hair come out , several strands at a time. It was not due to bleaching, but I still had no control over it. So while my ends may be on the thin side, the rest of my hair is thicker and it's all healthy.

Just strive for the healthiest hair, do what you know works for you. If you've bleached and you feel you made a mistake, make sure to moisturize (real moisture, like honey, distilled water, good conditioner) more than ever. Protect the ends as best you can, doing CWC.

You are in the best place to be, among all of us other long (any length) hair growers.

[jesis]

Do you straighten your hair a lot? My hair never got longer when I straightened it a few times a week. The last 1/4" or so would fall off.

Bleaching also really damaged my hair. I bleached the bottom half for about 6 months and left the top half alone and the bottom half ended up about 6" shorter than the rest of my hair from damage. I still have about 2" difference, but it's growing out.

[angela123]

yeah i straighten all the time.. i cant help it!!

[jesis]

Yeah I think we all go through that phase. Believe me, if you would have told me 4 years ago that I wear my natural hair almost every day now, I would have told you to shut the front door!!!

Your hair looks like it's past APL, do you ever do any updos?

[angela123]

no.. i just throw it up in a messy bun..

[angela123]

i think its just at apl... i think that is a shadow making it appear longer :(

[PixxieStix]

Lol, I remember my hair growing so much faster when I was younger too. Oh well though, at least it is still growing right? Baby it as best you can with the straightening, make sure to use a protectant on your hair if you aren't already, and baby it in every other way possible. Don't worry, it will get there!

[jesis]

If you really can't stop straightening, my suggestion is to only straighten every few days and put it up when it starts looking greasy. My go to is a sock bun or a cinnamon bun. I use bobby pins to secure.

What encourages me the most when doing updos is getting cute accessories. I'm not really big into learning new updos, especially because my hair isn't that long yet, so I just get cute headbands/sticks etc. to throw in my hair.

I know how you feel. My hair hasn't grown since June. Not one single inch.

Do you have any pictures of your natural texture?

[angela123]

i use a heat protection in my hair regardless if i flat iron.. if i know im going out in the sun i kinda use it as a sun tan lotion for my hair lol.. idk why but ive always done this..

[angela123]

lol yeah this is natural....

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=7571&pictureid=106838

[jesis]

I really like your curls. I think they are awesome. In fact, I would say you are curlier than a 2a/2b.

:)

[angela123]

i hate them!!! maybe cause my hair is to short.. when it was longer i loved them!

[Mesmerise]

I think you need to weigh up whether you really need to straighten daily, or whether you want long hair!

Heat protectant can only do so much (which is really very little). You are better off wearing your hair in updos (even if you don't like it much) and only straightening when you really REALLY need to!

Personally, I love my hair when it's straight and shiny. I really do. But I haven't heat straightened since January this year. I even went out on the weekend without straightening (although I was offered a flat iron more than once :p). I was seriously tempted, but then I thought about the END GOAL of my hair, which is to have healthy, long hair, that hopefully won't NEED straightening to look good!!

[jesis]

Well I would recommend headbands, deep conditioning, and less flat ironing. That's just me, though! I like your hair curly, I think it makes your face pop and adds a little character. Good luck!

[EvaSimone]

I think you need to weigh up whether you really need to straighten daily, or whether you want long hair!

Heat protectant can only do so much (which is really very little). You are better off wearing your hair in updos (even if you don't like it much) and only straightening when you really REALLY need to!
/snip/

I agree 100% with this. Between the straightening and the bleaching your hair is probably breaking as quick as it grows.

I know I ended up having to cut off all of my bleached hair (I had two streaks in the front) because after somewhere between apl and bsl they just kept breaking and were always split and felt terrible. I do have fine hair so it's less able to handle bleach compared to others but I don't think most people's hair could handle both bleach and frequent straightening.

[angela123]

thanks! what do you recommend for a deep conditioner? my hair isnt long enough for updos! and i cant really find anything for my hair to make it curly and last all day and still be touchable.. most stuff just makes my hair crunchy and i have to end up washing it that night! any ideas?

[jesis]

thanks! what do you recommend for a deep conditioner? my hair isnt long enough for updos! and i cant really find anything for my hair to make it curly and last all day and still be touchable.. most stuff just makes my hair crunchy and i have to end up washing it that night! any ideas?

I put my gel in while my hair is still soaking wet. I use DevaCurl Angel (it's a little more expensive, but worth it because it doesn't crunch). I follow the directions, let it air dry, and then if there is any "crunch" left I just work it out with my fingers. As my hair got longer, I was able to comb out my curls and they turned into soft waves that I could wear for a couple of days without washing. DevaCurl Angel doesn't leave any residue in my hair that needs washing out that night. That's why I love it!

As far as deep conditioner, I mix equal parts honey and evoo. I also tried one recently that I LOVED. Greek yogurt + oil (whichever is fine) +honey. I just put about a tsp of honey and oil in each and half a cup of yogurt. I let it sit on my hair for like 30 minutes and rinsed with cold water and styled as usual. It made my hair super soft and shiny. I also have some deep conditioners I bought at the beauty store and I use them randomly. Just whatever you can find I suppose!

Curly hair needs a lot of moisture. More than any other type. When you straighten your hair, you remove the moisture from you hair, which dries out the strand and causes it to break. This is why it's so important to use oils and deep conditioning treatments on your curly hair regularly.

I also recommend regular S&Ds to get rid of the damage.

ETA: If you use a lot of honey in your hair, it's important to wash it out with shampoo. A little probably won't hurt, but if you use enough that your hair is noticeably hard, I would say use shampoo to help remove it.

[Rocket22]

Hate to say it but I think the straightening and the bleaching is taking its toll on your hair. I personally LOVE your natural curl. I am one that can not do bleach and have long healthy hair. Some people can and some can not.

[missdelarocha]

Yep agree with what is being said above.
It looks like you've dyed your hair quite a few times even in the last few months and are straightening frequently... Honestly you get out of it, what you put into it.
Do you want long hair or do you want ever-changing straightened/dyed hair? Extensions are good if the latter is more appealing to you, they're perfect in terms of hair changeability.
I don't know that you'll enjoy naturally long hair if all you want to do is have a change, which is perfectly fine.

Even people that don't do any of these essentially harmful processes to their hair still need to baby it or at least give it basic 'healing' care and I'm jealous of anybody who has amazing hair with no effort :p.

P.S, I think your natural curl is fantastic. Good luck!

[Melisande]

Bleach, iron and ask yourself why your hair doesn't get longer...?

I love your curls. They are lovely. I have absolutely no idea how this straightened hair became so fashionable. I never saw an artificially straightened head that I liked. Sorry ladies ;-) I grew up in the Big Hair decade so all I ever dreamed of was a huuuuge head of curls! I fried my hair with perms, horrible really!, and I wear the scar of the chemical burn still.

I would really encourage you either to reconcile with your natural texture and a color as close to your natural color as you can - or to enjoy short hair that you can style however it pleases you without waiting for the breakage to grow out.

Oh I wish we could swap hair! I'd happily donate my straight hair to get some curls!!!!

[julliams]

This is a little longwinded I'm afraid.

I'm telling you that you ROCK curly hair!!! Curly hair reflects light differently so when it is straightened it doesn't look quite as shiny as it does in it's natural form. When I straightened my hair, I always had to put shine serum on it to make it appear glossy. I don't have to do that when my hair is wavy, it shines on it's own.

Learning to love your curls is actually a difficult thing to do, but from my own experience it is incredibly liberating once you are able to do it. The beauty of having this kind of hair is that you can have it any way you want.

I personally found that straightening my hair meant that I needed to be super organised and couldn't really be impulsive (ie go for a swim etc). I was so worried that people would see my hair curly, or frizzy as I thought it was. I would be more concerned with bringing hair dryers, irons, serums etc, than what I was wearing.

Now that my hair is doing it's thing, it costs me less, it grows faster, and honestly I think it's healthier than it's ever been.

I started by getting lots of moisture into my hair. Firstly you need to clarify your hair. Buy a good clarifying shampoo (I use Pantene's because I figure if it can get all those silicones out, it must be good), gently squeeze out the water, then load your hair up with something like Tressemme Naturals conditioner. You can detangle at this point with a wide tooth comb. Wrap your head in cling film, put a hot towel over and relax for about an hour. When you wash it out, use cold water, wrap up in a towel for a little while, then let it out.

At this point you can do nothing and just let it dry. Or you can use a leave in conditioner or gel. You can also just let it dry and then apply something when it's dry. The important thing is to keep your hands out of your hair as this is what makes it frizz. I find Nightblooming Panacea works really well on my dry hair, but makes it tangly if I apply it wet. You have to experiement with what works best for you.

You can add clear aloe vera gel and honey to your conditioner too if you like (infamous SMT).

I found that it took months of treatments like this to get my hair moisture infused. Now I would say it is healthy, but it took a while.

Now I straighten about once a month and every time I do it, I regret it because my ends feel really dry for a few washes afterwards. Plus I notice how flat my hair looks.

Give yourself time to feel comfortable as a curly when you have gone straight for so long. But I honestly think your hair suits you really well curly.

[Avital88]

yeah i straighten all the time.. i cant help it!!

stop this and the bleach..and growth will come..dont expect to grow long hair if your treating it bad,good luck

[jojo]

you know your curls really are pretty, very much like my youngest who at the beginning of the year was neck length. She was straightening her hair sometimes twice a day and then said it wasn't growing. It was but it was breaking as much as it grew, so I said the same to her as I will say to you, stop straightening for 3 months first and see how it affects your hair. I promise you, your hair will grow so much better and be so much healthier you won't go back. My daughters hair is now just past APL!

I totally understand the need to straighten, im no angel I straighten still occasionally. as for the bleach as long as you only ever re-do the roots its fine. There are lots on here who regualry bleach and have wonderful hair; its what you do in between that matters.

Good luck, in the mean time just put it up and ignore it and hide those straighteners for the time being!

[angela123]

my curls look good for the first hour then they look like crap.. ive tried everything.. if i dont flat iron my hair its frizzy and dried out.. i dont even use shampoo at all anymore. i do search and destroy. my hair grew fast before and i flat ironed all the time. i wish there was someone i really trusted to hold my ghd flat iron.. haha im to scared someone will try and steal it.. but i really do think i gonna stop using it for 3 months and see what it does..

[spidermom]

Try wetting your hands before rubbing a dab of aloe vera gel or styling gel between them, then finger-comb it through your hair and finish by smoothing your palms over the surface. Don't touch it afterward. Even my hair will stay fairly curly as long as I don't have to mess with it.

[BlazingHeart]

Part of what is causing the frizz...is the ironing. The flat ironing damages your hair, and damaged hair frizzes more. You'll have to stop ironing to see an improvement, and it WILL take a while. You also need to do a lot of moisturizing, as julliams suggested.

Even then, to be honest, if you've thrashed your hair thoroughly, this hair may never fully recover, in which case you will need to grow it out and cut it off to get rid of the problems you have with it. Continuing to thrash your hair does no good, really, as it means you keep damaging your new growth.

One of the advantages of stopping bleaching is that you'll have a demarcation line - you'll be able to see where your current damage stops. If you only continue ironing what's below the demarcation line, then you'll slowly grow out this healthy new growth that should be much less frizzy. You can slowly trim out the damaged hair, and put down the iron for good.

~Blaze

[moon2dove]

I wholly agree. Leave the staighteners alone for 3 months and give your hair lots of moisture and I know you will see the difference. How do I know ? Because I used to straighten my hair every day and have done for years, I also used heat protector and that still didn't help!
My hair would not grow past APL It's now BSL :) I still can't believe my hair has grown this long!!
Before I would never go out unless my curly/wurly/frizzy/unkemp hair was stick straight with lot's of hairspray to keep it in place!!. Now I wear my hair up in an updo and lurvveee my curly/wurly's and use aloe and oils to keep the frizzy's at bay. :)

[angela123]

even before i knew what a flat iron was back in 5th grade my hair was still frizzy.. i have pics to prove it.. idk what was wrong with it.. i just hate my hair.. i wanna shave it and wear a wig the rest of my life.. im so over it.

[taimatsuko]

In reiteration of the above comments I say check out the site and forum of Natuallycurly.com. Curly hair needs a different type of care and has it's own way of being healthy. I would also explore the CO method. It doesn't work for everyone but It could possibly help you out. I would beware of putting gel and what not in the hair. Or making sure that you figure out what ingredients will work for you and which ones won't. Almost all gel is horrible on my hair but sometimes using a soft hold mouse, a light leave in conditioner, or even just moisturizing my hair really well will yield awesome curls. For lasting non crunchy curly definition look up/check out plopping/scrunching. BtW, I think your hair looks way more awesome curly. Short and curly is still cool!

[BlazingHeart]

Do you brush your hair? Most curly hair goes POOF with frizzies and is pretty uncontrollable when it's brushed. A wide-toothed comb will do much better for you. If you brushed your hair back in 5th grade, I'm betting that's part of why you think of your hair as frizzy.

[blondie9912]

It's hard to accept at time, but you really can't bleach and flatiron your hair and expect it to grow long. Like others said, your hair will just break off at the ends. I know one girl that can do ANYTHING she wants with her hair, and it still doesn't get damaged, but she has what I like to call 'hair of steel' :p (Very thick and strong)

I think you just have to accept that how you're treating your hair is damaging, but it can be overcome! Most people were flatiron addicts at one point, I know I was :p

[ladonna]

I have curl's that don't stay for long too, and also prefer my hair straight. TO straighten my hair I bun it while damp leave over night and then the next morning bun my hair with the twist going the opposite direction. It's not stick straight like flat ironing it's more of a soft straight. You could also look into hair wrapping to straighten your hair, theres a how-to in the articles section of LHC.
ETA when I bun my hair I use these soft fat headbands, the cheap kind that you can buy 10 for $1.

[Juneii]

Bleach, iron and ask yourself why your hair doesn't get longer...?



I agree. What you are doing to your hair is known to cause damage and slow down the visible growth of your hair. I know others are saying that there are members here on LHC who straighten and bleach their hair every day and still have a lot of growth but what works for one person does not work for another. It does not seem as if your hair can hold up to the damage caused by the flat ironing and the bleaching. If you want to see some progress in your hair growth you have to stop doing both or at least one.

Breaking a habit is really hard, I flat ironed every day several years ago before I started LHC. Because of all the damage my hair felt coarse, dry, and frizzy. Ever since I stopped and started taking better care of my hair the damaged ends grew out and the new growth was softer, silkier and straighter - the exact texture I was trying to achieve with the flat ironing.

[angela123]

i just hate my hair!

[jacqueline101]

Don't feel bad my hair goes through phases where it won't grow. Then it will grow and take off like a weed. It helps if you oil and help stimulate the scalp.

[missdelarocha]

We give you suggestions in which you reply as if their is no cure, that all the suggestions are pointless and you will just have to bleach and straighten your horribly rebellious hair in misery for the rest of your life, well, enjoy.
I don't think everybody's words of advice, encouragement and kindness deserve to fall on deaf ears.
I hope you will be more open in the future!

[Melisande]

Sorry to be so blunt but I think your hair shows that you hate it. What about learning to love and accept your hair and to treat it well? Hating your hair won't make it look better. The more you learn to "go with the flow" of your hair and let it live its individuality, the better it will look.

Your hair is naturally curly. Curly hair is beautiful and unruly like a creative, wilful child. It has huge potential. A healthy head of curls is a show stopper and absolutely stunningly beautiful. There is something untamed about curls that I simply love. Alice Krige's curls in Sharpe - what a picture of beauty. Really, with curls like that you need nothing else!

Learn to take care of your curls and rock them. There are things you can do against the frizz.

Did you know that straight hair can frizz, too? My hair frizzes from dryness.

Stop bleaching, stop ironing the life from your hair, use less shampoo and more conditioner, use a mister with a mixture of distilled water, a drop of oil and a bit of aloe vera to put the spring back into your curls, oil them a lot before washing and a bit afterwards, use a comb sparingly and no brush at all, and have patience while your hair grows out the damage.

I promise you that within a year, your head will make heads turn. Mine for certain.

Please don't continue to hate your hair. It wants to tell you something - just listen.

[spidermom]

We give you suggestions in which you reply as if their is no cure, that all the suggestions are pointless and you will just have to bleach and straighten your horribly rebellious hair in misery for the rest of your life, well, enjoy.
I don't think everybody's words of advice, encouragement and kindness deserve to fall on deaf ears.
I hope you will be more open in the future!

I'm getting this vibe, too.

I used to think that my hair was only pretty when it was straightened. I remember posting pictures of my straightened hair and my wavy/curly hair side by side when I was a new member, and the overwhelming majority chose the wavy/curly version. Now I look at my signature picture and wonder how it was that I didn't recognize how pretty my natural hair could be.

I hope you come to peace with your hair. Well cared for and worn curly; it will be stunning.

[angela123]

We give you suggestions in which you reply as if their is no cure, that all the suggestions are pointless and you will just have to bleach and straighten your horribly rebellious hair in misery for the rest of your life, well, enjoy.
I don't think everybody's words of advice, encouragement and kindness deserve to fall on deaf ears.
I hope you will be more open in the future!

first of all i was in a rush.. ive tried more than you think i have tried.. coconut oil.. tried.. castor oil tried.. peppermint oil tried.. ive gone 3 weeks without heat.. nothing changed.. i know about using heat and bleaching i dont need to be told 10 times already sorry i know.. okay.. not just stopping use of heat and bleaching is gonna help it.. i know it needs moisture but no matter what i do or how long i go without bleach flat iron or dye just before i bleached i had about 3 inches of roots so i have gone without it.. and i think its my blood to have frizzy hair.. my grandma on my dads side has frizzy hair i dont use brushes if i do i use a bbb i use a wide tooth comb in the shower with conditioner then if i do wear it "curly" then i use gel and scrunch it and it just doesnt look good or last long... now with my hair was long it use to look soo good scrunched.. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/40125_10150323202950608_508355607_15831996_1775702 _n.jpg
i could bleach and flat iron all i wanted to back this and my hair still looked like this
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/18338_414304240607_508355607_10596681_4215284_n.jp g
my hair was this long above and i cut it this short below
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/18338_414304150607_508355607_10596671_29136_n.jpgt his was nov 07

and this was about april of 08 my hair use to grow so fast..

<a href="http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j39/angela_collins/?action=view&amp;current=l_0a29a56e59469c22c21b26b9323 8acd2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j39/angela_collins/l_0a29a56e59469c22c21b26b93238acd2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>


sorry if you felt i was giving you the cold shoulder but its just annoying to be told the same thing over and over again!

[lacefrost]

angela123, when you posted this thread it seemed as if you were in need of help and encouragement. The members of LHC are very helpful and encouraging and we all want people to grow to their goal lengths. You haven't had any growth and you're super discouraged about that. I think we all know what that feels like. So of course folks gave you suggestions. Truly the reason why your hair isn't longer is because of bleach and heat. I know you say that in the past your hair was longer even with heat and bleach but that was the past. It worked for you then but it doesn't work for you now. I think you may have to try a new approach.

The truth is hair is delicate like lace. For it to be truly beautiful, you must treat it like that. If you're damaging your hair by bleach and heat, your hair will be dry and it will get frizzy and that's something you'll have to accept. And it will stay damaged until you gradually snip it off. Personally, I think you look really cute with it short like that but if you want long hair, then that's what you deserve.

I think anyone can tell you that the secret to long hair is patience and handling. Those two things make the biggest difference, ever. Time will make your hair grow and handling it gently will prevent it from breaking off. I know you're frustrated but beating your hair into submission won't make it the mane you desire. You have to listen to it and let it do what it wants to do. You can have the hair that you want if you stop fighting against it.

[julliams]

angela 123, I really think that I do get what you are saying. When I turned 12 my hair went from being really straight to getting what I thought was frizzy. I thought that this was how my hair was and I needed to make it behave. It took me many years to realise that I needed to treat it differently. Noone in my family except my dad has hair like mine (and he keeps his short) so I had noone to discuss it with. It's kind of how I ended up here.

Unfortunately going 3 weeks without heat will do nothing because your hair will only have grown a tiny bit in that time so the only hair that will be undamaged it that tiny bit at the scalp. The rest will be as it is. It's very discouraging to hear that damage is irreversible but I honestly think it can be improved to a certain degree.

I think if you can simplify your routine to just a couple of things and lots of moisture treatments (like twice a week if you can fit it in), you will see an improvement in about 4 months or so.

At the moment I think you are feeling like you are trying everything and nothing is working. It really does take time, so if you are going to do anything at all, go for moisture treatments and perhaps either cutting out your flat ironing, or reducing it to only when you go out. See how that goes for a couple of months and then you can try some other ideas like overnight oiling etc. As you gain length you will be able to put it up easier too.

And you know what, you don't have to love it right now. But if you have a goal in mind (ie long healthy hair, or short healthy virgin hair, or whatever it might be) then you can work your way to that. I truly found it very hard to put down that flat iron and I was a little defiant too, but it can be done...if you want to.

Also, there is a difference between curly and frizzy. Even when my hair is looking great, I have a little halo of frizz around my whole head. I find I can calm this down by bunning my hair once it is just dry. You will be able to do this when your hair gets a little longer and this will make a huge difference to how you see your hair.

All the best.

[Miss Maisie]

I gave up my flat iron in June, and just *now* I'm seeing a big difference in my hair. It's much thicker, a lot more shiny, and generally happy. A few weeks won't cut it, unfortunately. My hair might not be stick straight, but it has life and body to it. When I straightened it it just looked limp and lifeless.

It's still a bit of a battle sometimes, but I just keep telling myself that I've set a goal (BSL), and I'm going to see where that journey takes me.

I hope that you find something that works for you.

[angela123]

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=6964&pictureid=115698

this is the hair i want... this is lhc member squintinschool, i absolutely envy her hair.. i want her hair sooo bad! length and all!

this is my goal.. always has been.. i just need to find better products that can help me out!

[spidermom]

Oh yes; I totally think your hair could be similar, angela123. It will take time and patience, of course.

A lot of us (guilty!) don't read all of the other posts before we post our own ideas, so people don't mean to hit you over the head with the same advice again and again. We're just sharing our own experiences, and a lot of them are very similar. That's kind of a good thing; growing and maintaining hair in good condition is no secret.

Good luck! Enjoy the journey.

[angela123]

lol yeah.. its gonna take a long time for this.. i actually wrote on my mirror "want long curly hair again? no more flat iron angela" lol

[Melisande]

Dear Angela, it will take time but it's absolutely do-able! You need patience and a good routine for it, but you can have that kind of hair.

You will get there. Keep taking pictures so you can see your progress. It's easy to forget how hair once looked. Think in months and half/years, not weeks.

I know the feeling of being frustrated with one's hair so well - many of us here do. After learning how to treat my hair the way it wants to be treated, my hair improved very very much.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I did the same kind of damage as you, but i started STOPPING coloring and bleaching and straightening 100&#37; in august and im just barely seeing improvement now. It takes time honey, you just need to wait it out and find a proper regimen for you.

[Melisande]

another thing: it's not products that you need, it's habits. In the five years since I changed my routine and became aware and more knowledgeable about my hair, I learned one thing: products are over-estimated. My search for the Holy Grail was unnecessary. It's not WHAT you use but HOW you use it that makes the real difference.

If you dilute shampoo or add olive oil to it, don't rub your hair too much and don't let the water geht too hot, it will improve the look of your hair, no matter what shampoo you use. If you mix your conditioner with oil and let it sit on your hair as pre-wash treatment, it will improve the look of your hair, no matter what conditioner.

Of course there are products that we get along better with it than with others. It may take a while until you find the shampoo, conditioner and oil that you really like best. (And these preferences may change with season, age, hormonal changes etc). But you can change your routine and habits today.

Treat your hair like a fragile, precious cashmere garment where damage can't be undone. You may be able to salvage the damaged hair you have. You may certainly avoid the further accumulation of damage (damaged hair has its cuticles open and frayed so that further damage can be inflicted more easily). And I promise you that new hair, treated properly from the start, will surprise you with its beauty.

Maybe I'm biassed, brainwashed and LHC-convert-fanatical... :-D .... but in my eyes, healthy hair is always beautiful. It has a charisma of its own that can't be beaten by expensively styled hair camouflaging damage.

My motto is: treat hair as part of your body, not as fashion accessory.

Although of course: if you decide to treat it as fashion accessory and are happy with it, great! It can look spectacular, too. I know many women who layer, cut, straighten, curl, switch colors and constantly change the look of their hair, and who really like playing with it. Usually,these woman have no longer than shoulder length hair. And that's what they choose, all power to them. some are able to grow long hair although they treat it that way - they must have very good genes and strong hair. For most people, the choice is clear.

You are a very pretty girl and will look great either way - with wild long curls or with shorter smooth blonde hair.

[celebriangel]

I would say your hair is like mine, a 2c/3a.

I totally feel your pain in the growout stages. However I do have some advice:

1) I don't use gel at all, except occasionally aloe vera gel.

2) I use nightblooming's panacea salve instead as a sort of "curl cream" (it's a creamy oil blend) and my curls seem to love it.

3) I comb my hair wet, *gently*, most of the time. Then I apply leave-in, then I let it dry. The combing seems to relax the curl a little; it still forms, but is more manageable.

4) Your curls will relax around APL curly and start looking a lot neater.

[longhairedlady]

I suggest quit coloring it, quit using heat styling on it, oil the daylights out of it, wear it up 24/7, and wash it at most twice a week, and condition the crap of it. Most importantly, leave it alone and let it do whats natural. You can have amazing hair, but you have to leave it alone in order for that to happen.

[angela123]

thank you ladies.. i do wear it up 24/7 im surprised i dont have a permanent kink! i dont shampoo anymore... i do use alot of conditioner my hair is so dry i can use regular conditioner as a leave in.. i actually have my organix conditioner in a spray bottle more water then conditioner and spray that in.. well just started doing that again today. i think i found my trick.. while im in the shower i scrunch the conditioner in my hair then wash it out while scrunching it.. dont use a towel still with wet hair i still scrunch the water out.. use a tshirt to do the plopping thing then use water and conditioner mix.. i think if i can actually get my curls to look good i wont have to use the flat iron.. i do actually love my curls but only when they look right.. lol.. i tried all this last night for the first time in forever and im pretty sure ima keep it up... i need the curly girl method book.. see i do know some things about it.. guess ill start applying what i know to help my hair out.. lol.. its all a learning experience.. time to retire the flat iron i suppose.. maybe i should sell it and buy curly girl stuff.. haha

[spidermom]

When my hair was short and completely unruly, I would wash, then finger-comb gel through my hair going straight back, then not touch it. As it dried, it fell forward into curls and/or waves (on a good day). On a bad day, it was like this
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/BOONEW.jpg

[lesbia]

Don't worry, just be patient! Keep take care of your hair, they will feel better. You have to wait a little bit long to see results...I start to take care of my hair 3 years ago and just a year ago I start seeing a visible difference, but now I'm so proud of my hair! You have a lot of hair I see! They will be beautiful, you have just to be patience :)

[angela123]

okay ladies this is my hair today!!

11/16/11
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=7571&pictureid=118965

[krissykins]

Angela, I didn't see anywhere if you posted about using oils... Have you tried them? They can't fix damaged hair, but they can definitely help manage the hair better, as well as smooth out the frizz. :)

[angela123]

ive used coconut and castro and peppermint.. dont care for them that much.

[krissykins]

Have you tried olive oil or jojoba oil? I love olive oil for the moisture and jojoba smooths my frizzies out really well. They are fairly popular on the boards. Don't give up on oils just yet! :)

[Melisande]

I love that picture with the quizzical eye ;-)

Your hair has great potential.

The Curly Girl book is great. I borrowed it for my curly daughter and ended up green with envy LOL. It will make you feel SO good about being a curly head...

[angela123]

lol i was using my ipod touch and was trying to see if it was a good angle hahah.. ive tried olive oil.. dont know where to get jojoba at..

[angela123]

my hair is just getting curlier and curlier! lol im in love with it again! thank you ladies for the encouraging words and wisdom! lol sooo ready for it to start growing again.. havent used my flat iron since i took my last straight picture! im now apart of the no heat challenge! its a win win!! :)

[Melisande]

I'm happy to hear that! Keep up the curl love! Curls are totally individual.

[Rocket22]

my hair is just getting curlier and curlier! lol im in love with it again! thank you ladies for the encouraging words and wisdom! lol sooo ready for it to start growing again.. haven't used my flat iron since i took my last straight picture! im now apart of the no heat challenge! its a win win!! :)


Yay!!!! you should love your hair you have fantastic curls. I know you want it healthy as in yesterday. (trust me I feel your bleach pain, I'm in the same boat) but unfortunately hair once damaged has to be cut off to be healthy again. But that doesn't mean in the meantime you can't start better practices and manage what you have. Great job on hanging up the flat iron I personally think your curls rock!

[angela123]

aww thanks.. and i havent flat ironed since i said i was quitting.. yeah i think either im just gonna keep getting my roots done or im gonna let them grow out about 6 inches than find dye or something that can color the rest of my hair and then when it gets a little past bsl i think ill cut all the damage off.. i really wanna just dye it my natural color.. i would give anythign to go back in time and to have never put bleach or dye or even learned what a flat iron was... if i knew now back then.. shoooot my hair would be pretty long.. i really regret cutting it all off a few years ago.. ahh oh well heres to a new start ;)