Hair and self esteem. A place for Venting and advice. [Archive] - The Long Hair Community Discussion Boards

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 12:12 PM

Madora

November 10th, 2011, 12:27 PM

colormeindie..before we can help you we need more information about your hair care routine..i.e. what do you use? Have you been bleaching/dyeing it? How often do you wash it and with what?

What is your diet like? Do you blow fry?

If you have hair issues, have you gone to see a hair doctor? Many hair issues are symptoms of anemia. Thyroid also plays an important role in your overall hair health.

There's nothing wrong in enjoying your hair but you must have patience and treat it gently during the growing period. And while there may be a great percentage of girls in your school with long hair, long hair doesn't always mean HEALTHY hair!

Good luck.

moon2dove

November 10th, 2011, 12:39 PM

I really feel for you. I have just gone through a period of thinning hair through illness and it certainly does give your confidence a kick.
At 15 (I have a 15yr old son) you are going through all sorts of changes, emotionally and physically.
So sorry you had such a bad experience with a hairdresser. You will find quite a lot of us here on LHT have come across the same sort of problem too.
As for your hair thinning, at least you know the reason why it's thinning. I really hope your health improves and when it does, your hair will benefit and get thicker.

I hope you get through this and feel better about yourself.
I'm sure there are lots of people on here that can help with better advice. Take care.

sun-kissed

November 10th, 2011, 12:59 PM

I don't have much advice, but I need to pop in and say.. I just looked through your albums, and no, you are not the image of that *imaginary girl* every young lady seems to be trying to look like these days. Your face is different, and I understand the feeling because mine is as well. It's hard. We as humans want to "be different while still being the same." And you don't have that in your face. You stand out from the movie-stars through your features. But the truth is, you are still pretty, and at the same time you're also unique. Uniqueness is hard to live with, but if you accept it you will be looked up to by the people around you. In no way does being different make you ugly. It's called being real. And as long as you are a beautiful person on the inside, you will become even prettier on the outside.

I hope that makes sense... and I don't mean this in a preachy way, I just really think you are pretty. I even have a friend that looks strikingly like you, and I was first attracted to her by her lack of 'mainstream'-ness. Looking like Hannah Montana or Britney Spears does not make you beautiful... Really.

//lots of hugs.

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 01:03 PM

ravenreed

November 10th, 2011, 01:15 PM

It sounds like your hair problems are health related. The problems you are mentioning seem like you need to see a doctor again, and soon. Even if they keep you out of school for a bit, you can make up the work. Please ask your mom to make you an appointment as soon as possible. If necessary, go to your school nurse and discuss your symptoms with him or her.

As for your hair, I think once your health is better, your hair will be too. However, a few questions - At your age you need a lot of protein. Do you eat eggs? If not, are you aware that you can only get B-12 from a supplement or animal proteins? There is a type of anemia that is related to low B-12... Who put you on Horsetail? Horsetail has the potential to cause some problems if used long term. Good luck, both on your health and your hair journey.

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 01:20 PM

yes. we own chickens so i've got a pretty good supply.

i've seen my school nurse a lot. she cant do anything. she just says to see a doctor.

i use the horsetail for what its meant to do. be a diuretic. not to get all graphic but if i dont get fluids moving my kidneys begin to ache. i collapsed during band camp a few years ago because it hurt so bad.

turtlelover

November 10th, 2011, 01:33 PM

Those DO sound like symptoms of anemia, and I certainly hope you are able to see a Dr. ASAP.

FrozenBritannia

November 10th, 2011, 01:43 PM

I know exactly how you feel. Been there, done that. You will survive, and all the diva girls will chop their hair off next time Hollywood says short is sexy.

Now, there are other things besides horsetail which preform the same action. I'm thinking teas specifically. I also think you need to see a doctor, as along with Anemia those symptoms could also be thyroid issues. I know everyone seems to think it's an adult issue, but I've had mine since I was twenty and the doctors suspect I had it even longer than that.

Protien can be found in peanut butter I think too, I eat a lot of peanut butter because I don't get much otherwise.

And in the long run, good bone structure is more important than being traditionally pretty. I never considered myself pretty in highschool either and still struggle with it, but on fb I can see that the girls who were really pretty in HS seem to have peaked then, they're more tired looking now. (I'm 26) Highschool seems so important now, but really, it's 5 years of your life. And then you never have to see most of these people again. And DITCH the boyfriend. Hun, if he is not treating you right NOW, he's never going to. And while you may think it's better to have a bad boyfriend than none at all, it's really, really not. He is damaging your self-esteem- which is priceless, because it is a struggle to get back and no boy has the right to take that from you.

Is there any way that you can go to a doctor by yourself or do you have to have your moms consent? I'm not sure where you live, but in Canada at the age of fifteen you can walk into a clinic and get an appointment by yourself. If you can't consider the ER, because you don't want your hair to fall out (all of it) because you are waiting to go to the doctor for something as simple as a blood test. (mine did).

Fixing Anemia is as simple in some cases as taking an iron supplement every day.

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 01:48 PM

so I've been debating on whether or not to start this or not.
truth is I've hit a wall with growing, i have a growing health issue, and my self esteem is just completely gone.

For me, my hair is my leading contributor to my self esteem. I know I'm not pretty so i turn to my hair to feel good about myself. But, at least 80% of the girls in my school have beautiful waist length or longer hair, while my hair is thinning like crazy. I've lost 2 inches in diameter of a pony tail in the last 3 years :(. i don't know what to do anymore. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry. i used to have long blond waist length hair until i went to the hairdressers. I specifically told the stylist i didn't want any length cut off. then she just chopped my long hair to APL and I've never managed to get past the almost BSL stage.

i just cant stand it anymore. I'm only 15, i have no friends, my boyfriend makes me feel stupid, my parents say that knowing so much about hair and vitamins and the human body is useless. I cant take criticism well and everyone seems to crash down on me all at once.

the only place i feel that i can actually talk to people about hair and my feelings is here.

Is your hair falling out in clumps and a lot? If yes, you may have some kind of thyroid issue. It can happen in younger people. Under your avatar it looks as though you say you're 17, but in this post, you say you're 15.

If your Boyfriend says mean things to you, or makes you feel stupid, he's nobody you want to hang around with. He's not the guy for you. Generally, this young of person whether 15-17, those relationships are generally not overly long-lasting nor an example of making a great decision. A person in intimate relationships is supposed to understand you and get you. If he doesn't I recommend breaking it off with him.

Kids in your age group are by development in the phase of really separating from parents and really questioning their authority. I have no idea who your parents are, but generally most parents want their kids to succeed and be happy. They just may feel that in part your obsession with hair and body image stuff may be a bit heavy-handed, and would like to see you focus your energy on things that will position you to do well in life, such as education. That's maybe hard to hear, but generally most parents love their kids. It seems they're generally taking care of you, but are you contributing well to participating in effecting quality care of you?

It sounds to me that you may have a health concern that might need some looking after. You might even be on some kind of diet, such as no fat, or low in iron nutritionally and this could be contributing to a chronic, and long elevated rise in your shedding rate.

The hair we have in our teens tends to go bye-bye around 22, give or take. That's fairly normal.

I am truly sorry that the hairdresser did the big chop. Another lesson in why we interview salon stylists before deciding to sit in the chair.

There's not much you can do about what the stylist did. For the meanwhile, focus on having pretty hair even if it's not overly long. If you eat well, for the most part, you shouldn't need to take vitamins. Most vitamins, in my book, are just a form of creating expensive urine, as most vitamins are excreted out of the system, when you take vitamins, at least, if you're also eating well. If you're not eating healthy, then that's the first step to improving your hair density/volume.

Then ensure you detangle with a wide-toothed comb from the bottom up, not top down. Sleep on a slippery pillowcase so your hair can slide.

Get plenty of sleep, and in general focus on washing your hair properly, in the shower, such as no piling on top of your head and scrambling hairs around.

Beautiful hair is in little details, not in one big thing or another. It's the cumulative effort of the details.

Also, if your self-esteem and confidence has declined, this may in part be owed to a health concern of some kind. Even a lot of stress can cause increases in hair shedding.

I wish you all the best, and am sorry you're having so much difficulty. The good news is that for most people, the phase you're in is part of being a teenager. Sad that so many go through this, but it is one of those life things. But maybe finding a way to see a doctor and check your hormonal balances and other potential health concerns that could be the trigger, might be beneficial to rule out health problems of some kind.

For example, nutritionally, you need a little fat in the diet for vitamins and minerals to be absorbed by the body. Otherwise you're feeding yourself, but nutritionally starving, in effect, if you eat no good fat, at least, otherwise. Just FYI.

Good luck,
heidi w.

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 01:53 PM

Fixing Anemia is as simple in some cases as taking an iron supplement every day.

Anemia is not about self-diagnosing and finding iron pills to take on your own without doctor prescription, supervision and instruction.

Do not take iron pills on your own. They can build up in the system and cause an O.D. situation, not to mention constipation, too.

If you think you have anemia, get a doctor prescription and see what he/she suggests you do. Anemia in many instances can be improved by improving the diet. Lots of young girls are overly fooling around with diet, without good cause. If it's highly problematic to eat properly, consider asking your doctor to recommend a nutritionist for you to work with on eating more healthfully.

Iron pills are not something for young people to decide to take on their own. Big, huge medical problem, potentially. A big medical bill for your parents to have to pay perhaps. Be smart.

Work this out with a qualifed doctor. First, test, then consult on what to do.

The only time I've ever taken iron pills is for about a week in the wake of surgery because I lost so much blood.

You might consider if you're overly stressed to up the amount of B6/B12 you're taking. The B vitamin is a really important vitamin.

With all this interest in body, nutrition, whatever, you might consider a career in some kind of health care, or nutrition. It's really interesting, the field.

heidi w.

Violettwin

November 10th, 2011, 01:55 PM

Brenda714

November 10th, 2011, 02:03 PM

my dear one, I so understand about how you feel not pretty without your hair, I have always felt that way too. I had to have my damaged hair cut short and now I don't even like to look in the mirror. I am much much older than you, but I still feel that way. I want to tell you that you won't always feel this way, it will pass. I know your self esteem issues are not directly related to your hair though, truthfully, it has come from people making you feel bad about yourself. Your worth is not in your hair. You are a beautiful person. I am learning this too :) You can go to the doctor to find out why your hair is thinning. But try not to worry. It was mean of that stylist to cut your hair off. I agree, and being a teen is a tough time to go through. Please don't be hard on yourself, and don't believe the lies that tell you that you are not pretty enough. I am saying a prayer for you. You will get through this!

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 02:05 PM

im a vegetarian. i get as much protein from soy, and other things that aren't meat related as i can.
i take a multivitamin, horsetail (for my kidney) and MSM.
i dont eat much fried foods and i try to get as much veggies i can.

my hair care routine:
i wash every 2-3 days (i have school so its kinda difficult to hide greese)
i use a small amount of coconut oil on my ends every few days, just so they are tamed.
i also use a heat protectant after i shower.
thats about it.

i havent seen a doctor since i was last put on 2 week medication for kidney problems. which was last February. i have heart palpatations, lightheadedness, extreme hair loss... basically all of the symptoms of anemia. i tell my mom over and over and over again that i need to see a doctor but i wont until april where i have to get a new immunization shot or they'll keep me from going to school or something.

i dont use the straightener, i dont blow dry. strictly no heat.

Kidney problems that are not looked after? You need to ensure you drink plenty of water, not soda. Perhaps at most about 2 cups of coffee per day, but maybe no coffee whatsoever, depending, as it IS a natural diuretic as are many caffeinated teas.

Anemia. Beans and rice are a complete set of 8 amino acids that we need to take in daily to get our protein needs met. These are the 8 amino acids that we have to take in nutritionally daily. The rest of the amino acids are naturally produced by the body. Young ladies that are also vegetarians have a tendency to be anemic, perhaps moreso than other groups. In eating beans and rice, each misses one amino acid, but in combination, each supplies the missing amino acid in the other. Tofu which is derived of the soybean is a complete protein as well. And various vegetation offers protein.

Anemia is about low iron in the blood. Iron is available in leafy greens such as kale, spinach, collard greens. Most peopl try spinach raw in salad, say, but in fact, that is NOT the best method to eat it. Apparently steaming is the best way to absorb spinach's iron. But you can stir fry it and at the very end with these leafy greens, put in a pinch of sugar to remove the bitterness of kale, collard greens and spinach. And it's fairly tasty then. I use this method all the time, and people LUV my spinach that I stir fry with some garlic, olive oil and halved cherry tomatoes and sometimes some shredded carrots. I also sometimes use some red meat or chicken bits or something.

I found after 4 years of being a vegetarian, that I just needed once-in-a-while to have red meat. I rarely eat it, but I do need a little bit. I have a kidney condition and have had anemia in my youth, and in the wake of surgery.

Kidney conditions are nothing to fool around with. Damage to the kidneys is permanent and doesn't replace/repair on its own. Damage is permanent. I have both kidneys damaged, but one moreso than the other. At least they still function.

Do you know what kidneys do for the body? They leach out the toxins and help in the process of creating urine/bowel. It's vital that toxins are leached out successfully for a healthy body. Otherwise if it doesn't go out, it actually kind of implodes inwardly, which I have had happen and can really create quite the mess that's very expensive to repair. I still sometimes notice that some days I'm a bit more tired than other days, and this has happened all of my life. It's MY normal. I recognize that some days my blood just isn't being cleaned out as well, and I can feel when it's happening.

I don't know if you've ever had a kidney infection, but those are incredibly painful and do cause permanent damage.

You might consider taking cranberry pills. Usually those with kidney conditions can't drink enough cranberry juice, and instead need cranberry pills. I took them for a while, and it sort of helped, I guess, in preventing some infections. But I'll never really know if I never had an infection, what infections I missed out on. I hope that makes sense.

Sounds to me as though you need to understand nutrition better, and as you improve your nutrition, your hair will improve.

heidi w.
ETA: As it concerns beans, lentils are by far my favorite as they produce for me almost no gas and are really cheap for a bag of them. And lentils are really easy to prepare in soups/stews, stir-fry, and the like. You can soak grayish or brownish or yellow lentils for about 20 minutes, and they're ready to be made into a food's recipe. I've even put yellow lentils which have been stir-fried in a tad of olive oil in mashed potatoes, for a little bit of crunch. It's actually then softened slightly yet also a kind of crunch. You might do well by creating a "snack" tray in the fridge, and you may need to eat more often throughout the day. I've made lentil stews with a bunch of vegetable in chicken broth or tomato broths. I've made them alongside meat dishes, which you don't eat. I've crock potted lentils. They're delightfully easy to work with. My best, heidi w.

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 02:10 PM

Cheer up, too. You're a pretty young lady. I took a look at your profile. That red HAS to be some kind of hair coloring. Is it still colored, or are you still coloring?

heidi w.

newbeginning

November 10th, 2011, 02:10 PM

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 02:14 PM

my family doesnt have the money to see a doctor even at a walk in clinic.

but thank you all for your advice :) it really does mean something, so thanks :)

spidermom

November 10th, 2011, 02:15 PM

And you dye your hair?

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 02:17 PM

my family doesnt have the money to see a doctor even at a walk in clinic.

but thank you all for your advice :) it really does mean something, so thanks :)

Are they taking advantage of any public assistance programs they may be eligible for given they have children? Usually those programs are for families with kids that are around 5 and under, but some are for those with older kids.

Does your school offer any medical assistance on any level?

You CAN nutritionally work on your anemia problem if you know you have it. I provided some ideas nutritionally to work with, perhaps.

I wish you all the best. Life is really hard for a lot of people right now. Me included.
heidi w.

BlazingHeart

November 10th, 2011, 02:18 PM

Sweetie, what is going on here really sounds medical to me. There are a number of things that can cause the symptoms you are experiencing. Very low thyroid, chronic dehydration, anemia, dysautonomia, and low b12 can cause all of them. I actually have dealt with all of those, so if you wanted to talk to someone who isn't a medical professional but who has some experience, you are welcome to pm me.

heidi w.

November 10th, 2011, 02:19 PM

I think you're a cute young girl. Don't listen to that voice in your head that tells you otherwise. Surround yourself with those who don't make you feel stupid. Please go to the doctor and get your health looked at.

Do you close your bedroom door at night? If yes, consider sticking a post-it note on the back of your door or somewhere where you'll see it every morning, change it once-in-a-while to have a pleasant and uplifting greeting message each day so it's the first thing you see/hear before you even hear the day's news (which can be such a downer).

Some suggestions:

Good morning Beautiful.

How ya doin' Gorgeous?

Have a great day.

Chin up.

Smile and be happy.

I sometimes still use this post-it note idea when I have hard times. It does help. It really does.

heidi w.

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 02:24 PM

i use manic panic. i understand that its not great but its better than box dyes.

and yes i do know what the kidneys do. I drink so much water im in the bathroom at least 15-20 times a day. I do not take it lightly when my organs begin to malfunction.

im in the process of improving my nutrition. i have not eaten fast food for 5 years, i do not drink soda, or eat anything with high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, sodium benzoate, or benzene. I'm pretty caught up with toxins in the body, the functions of different organs, and the importance of specific nutrients in the diet.

and my parents don't exactly have the proper finances to buy much special organic food.

but i do what i can. And as far as i know, the symptoms im going through are hereditary. My mother says shes had anemia since she was a teen but i'm not 100% sure i even have anemia and will not until i see a doctor.

BabyRay33

November 10th, 2011, 02:25 PM

I think that we are always our own worst critics. Your hair in your photos does not look that thin to me and I think that you are very unique and interesting in your looks. I know that isn't what you want to hear. I think that I am kinda interesting looking...my photos don't show it as much, but I don't fit in with the typical girl looks either. My eyes are proportionally big for my face, my nose and mouth are small...etc. But the girls that are really "good looking" now, like someone else mentioned, they peak early, and before you know it, you'll be the better looking one. It just takes time to grow into your looks.

In regards to the health issues, try eating a really healthy diet and flush your system with water as much as possible, until you can get to the doctor. I hope everything works out, but don't be so hard on yourself. You are in a community of people who really care about each other, so don't forget we can help support you. hugs!

FrozenBritannia

November 10th, 2011, 02:27 PM

Anemia is not about self-diagnosing and finding iron pills to take on your own without doctor prescription, supervision and instruction.
heidi w.

I didn't put that as something for her to go out and try without a doctors say. I just put it so that she knows that it's not going to be a huge prescription bill or something ridiculous like that. It's a simple test, it's a simple fix.
And I'm on iron tablets, because I am anemic, and my doctor told me to, as I cannot eat most of the foods which have it naturally occurring in them.

Toadstool

November 10th, 2011, 02:46 PM

I'm sorry that you don't feel pretty. You look stunning to me.

racrane

November 10th, 2011, 02:47 PM

You are a lovely girl with beautiful hair. Remember, stages of life are just stages; they pass through. You will grow stronger!

I understand that high school is very difficult; I felt the same way. There is hope - I love college and high school is a distant memory. I hope you feel the same way in 5 years.

I don't know how to help with medical problems, but try to find ways that relax and help you. For me, it's reading a good book. Whatever works, do it everyday.

As for as hair thinning; mine has, too. No matter how thick or thin, hair is beautiful. Taking care of it is so much better than what many high school girls do, so think of that next time you see straightened waist length hair. :)

HairFaerie

November 10th, 2011, 03:09 PM

Don't allow your mental image of what "pretty" is ruin your self esteem. You ARE beautiful! You have strikingly gorgeous blue eyes and I love your hair (especially the color).

When I was in high school, I had very low self esteem. I wore a size AA bra (and didn't get a B cup until I had 3 kids), I have bucked teeth and I never, ever felt "pretty". I covered all of that up by removing myself completely from the "competition" by dressing like a punk rocker and wearing crazy makeup. I figured if I couldn't be pretty, I would just play the role of a 'freak".

Now that I am 42, I still wish I had bigger breasts and I don't always feel pretty. I can look in the mirror and find a million things that I would like to change about myself. But instead of being negative, I just smile at myself and say "Hey, this is what you were born with, make the best of it!" People will love you because of who you are on the inside, not what you look like on the outside. And if they don't, they are not worthy of being around you. They are shallow and immature. Don't let them bring you down...EVER!

Also, I found some picture of me from 11th & 12th grade...I couldn't believe it! I looked at those pictures and thought to myself "What the heck was I thinking? I was pretty!"

I know this might sound bad but I see current pictures of classmates on Facebook now. These are the same girls that I thought were so much more prettier than me but now, my perception may have changed because I think I am just as pretty as they are!

So, from someone who felt that way too when I was your age...keep working on yourself from the inside out and don't EVER let anyone bring you down! There is so much more to life than that! have fun, be happy and do the things YOU want to do to make that happen! :)

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 03:23 PM

i have buck teeth too :/

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 03:24 PM

but thanks :)

embee

November 10th, 2011, 03:31 PM

You look pretty to me also, in your picture in your profile! :) I would be proud to have a pretty daughter like you.

You're doing a good job with avoiding soda and fast food and such. Of course all that stuff costs extra, so having no extra money is a plus, but it is tough if that's what everyone else likes to eat and drink. I was anemic also as a teen, some of us just are, it can be a battle to bring up the iron level with diet, but it is much safer that way. I promise that iron supplements are not fun, they may be cheap but they are not nice to the body, I don't think. ;)

Autumn is a big shedding time for many of us. Even my cat is shedding a lot right now!

If you have (or can make) a pretty little notebook, make a point every evening of writing down the good stuff that happened in your day - a good grade, a good lunch, pretty weather, feeling good, anything of that sort... kinda like a Good Things diary. When I was going through a rough patch I found that to be very helpful, and I chose to write directly before going to bed. It made me sleep easier.

MungoMania

November 10th, 2011, 03:36 PM

17 is a really tough age. Peer pressure etc. I know how you feel about the hair loss problems. I lost about a third of my hair to autoimmune health issues over a year ago. It's a challenge to keep your self esteem when faced with serious hair loss. It can make you feel ugly even if you're not. Hang in there. Things will change.
:grouphug:

spidermom

November 10th, 2011, 03:40 PM

Do NOT self-treat with iron. Seriously. There is a disorder (hemochromatosis) that causes a build-up of iron in your system, and it can be fatal. It is often mistaken for anemia.

You shouldn't even be taking the horsetail on your own, not with known kidney problems.

Lilli

November 10th, 2011, 03:43 PM

You are beautiful. High school can suck. I got picked on. Everyone I know got picked on. And you know what? It matters not a whit now. You look like a very unique person, and I feel bad that you are sad. Don't be sad. It does get better.

I was vegetarian and lost hair and got anemic and was very ill. Now I eat lots of meat and fat and feel MUCH better.

spidermom

November 10th, 2011, 03:43 PM

colormeindie

November 10th, 2011, 03:48 PM

but thats just it. i can stretch a dye for at least 4 months. only using 3 tubs. i dye once and then i just use a little in my conditioner every time i wash. so its only around $25 of my own money every few months.

FrozenBritannia

November 10th, 2011, 03:50 PM

I think Manic Panic is fine. I used a similar product and it seemed to condition my hair, not damage it.

However, if you have to make a choice between being able to see a doctor or buying hair dye, I think you'd be better off saving your money for the doctor visit.

THIS. Absolutely. You MUST see a doctor. And I'm sure your parents can find enough cash for a doctors appointment and blood test, even if they have to pawn something. Your health should be your, and their, first priority. You just have to make it clear to them how serious your circumstance is.

ravenreed

November 10th, 2011, 03:58 PM

Hemochromatosis runs in my family. I am very careful to buy vitamins without iron since I have no idea if I inherited it or not.

Do NOT self-treat with iron. Seriously. There is a disorder (hemochromatosis) that causes a build-up of iron in your system, and it can be fatal. It is often mistaken for anemia.

You shouldn't even be taking the horsetail on your own, not with known kidney problems.

teal

November 10th, 2011, 04:02 PM

Definitely go to the doctor. Save up money if you have to.

While it's probably not what you want to hear right now, not having "that look" is actually doing you a favour. You'll miss out on people who would only like you if you look conventionally pretty. These people are shallow and you don't need the hassle of them in your life. Notice I said "conventionally" pretty... beauty comes in many forms and each has its band of admirers. Just because you don't seem to have many now doesn't mean you won't sooner or later. High school society isn't an accurate reflection of the adult world.

Keep your chin up. It WILL get better. :)

PS: If your boyfriend can't find anything nice to say, then why are you still with him?

BlazingHeart

November 10th, 2011, 04:06 PM

Have you looked into sliding scale clinics? I ask because for people who can't afford the regular walk-ins, these places can be life savers. I worked for a place that included one, and depending on income, our clinic was as little as $15. A big city like Pittsburg will have them.

spidermom

November 10th, 2011, 04:11 PM

My point is PLEASE make seeing a doctor a priority since you have health concerns. $25 every few months is $100 in a year; that pays for a doctor visit (or most of one, depending; I know costs vary from region to region). Hopefully you have community clinics in your area; they are usually very good about working out an affordable payment plan with you.

sibyl

November 10th, 2011, 04:47 PM

So, I read some of your other stuff and you talked about having trouble breathing and heart pounding...that sounds just like me when I was anaemic, and it's pretty common for young women and vegetarians. But, like other people said, it's not good to just take supplements on your own without knowing it, plus it could also be a symptom of something else, like a B12 deficiency or a thyroid issue. Please, please try to see a doctor. Borrow money if you have to. The longer you wait, the more you're suffering needlessly and the more you're putting yourself at risk...it's not worth it.

Lilli

November 10th, 2011, 05:47 PM

How about this? It's free or sliding scale on Fridays. http://www.midwifecenter.org/default.asp?iId=GDJDFK It's technically well-woman care, but nutrition is within their purview. They are awesome and caring.

ravenreed

November 10th, 2011, 06:07 PM

Without knowing exactly what is wrong with your system, especially your kidneys, I don't know what else to advise. My mom has a horrible kidney disease called PKD. She has to avoid anything that puts stress on the kidneys. That includes excess salt, and anything with oxalic acid (spinach, parsley, rhubarb, chives, etc.).

If you can, go back to your school nurse, explain you are having still health problems and ask if there are any resources in the community that can help you get to the doctor. There may be free clinics and so on that you can go to.

holothuroidea

November 10th, 2011, 07:07 PM

15 year old female bodies do CRAZY STUFF. My 15 year old body just absolutely hated me. It was like I was allergic to myself. We couldn't afford a doctor either and we didn't have any health insurance. My mom took me to Planned Parenthood, which was really embarrassing for me (I was having GI problems, not anything you'd typically go there for!) but I was able to get a blood test and an appointment with an NP for free. Maybe this is an option for you? Planned Parenthood is everywhere.

Besides that it seems like your parents, from your point of view, are either oblivious or indifferent to your suffering and they aren't interested in the things that you are passionate about (hair care, for example). This is really quite normal and it doesn't mean they don't care but I know it does hurt. It gets better, though, just hang in there and find some friends you can talk about hair with.

Personally I always thought self esteem was over-rated. There are plenty of people I know who think quite highly of themselves that are just jerks. And a lot of people are giving advice like "think positive," and I guess that works for them but it never worked for me. I'm pretty melancholy and if I try to convince myself that I need to be a ray of sunshine all the time I just end up exhausted and angry. You have to find what YOU are comfortable with. Then the hard part is accepting that it might not be everyone else's idea of awesome.

You mentioned that you don't think you're pretty. I'm going to agree with most everyone here and say that I find you quite beautiful. But even if you won't believe us, pretty isn't everything. You've got style, and that counts for a lot. If pretty isn't your thing, you've got to find what is. Then, ROCK IT.

As far as your hair thinning, take excellent care of the hair you do have. Give it your time and attention. Love it. Don't waste appreciation for what you do have and you won't find yourself wanting for the things that you don't.

Ditch the guy that's giving you negativity but beware, someone will swoop right in to take his place if you don't sort out how you feel about yourself. If you are not stupid, and you believe that you are not stupid, then nobody will ever be able to make you feel like you are.

Yame

November 10th, 2011, 09:45 PM

Actually, you ARE very pretty. Your face is very unique and exotic, you have beautiful skin, you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen and your hair is my favorite shade of red. You look like you could be a model.

Who cares if your hair isn't long? It'll grow eventually, if that's how you want it. But you are beautiful right now just the way you are... don't let anybody put you down!

Yame

November 10th, 2011, 09:53 PM

Now, please go see a doctor. It's your parents' responsibility to get you to a doctor right now, there has got to be some sort of community clinic or program you are eligible for to make this more affordable.
Otherwise, being that you are 15, you can probably get a part-time job and start saving up to see one.

SarahKayfa

November 10th, 2011, 10:23 PM

You can see a doctor. There are sliding scale clinics, there will be a county health department somewhere . You're most likely eligible for programs like CHIP, which is a free children's health insurance program (and yes, you're still considered a child.) The United Way of Philadelphia offers some clinics for children. I would also contact the Children's hospital there and ask about any programs they offer. Don't forget that if you need it (you pass out, or some alarming symptom) you can go to any emergency room and be treated, and they can work out a payment plan for you later. Don't neglect your health.

justgreen

November 10th, 2011, 10:35 PM

Yep I'm a firm believer that poor health causes a wide variety of hair woes. And you, my dear, have poor health and need to get to a clinic FAST.

I'm confused, mainly i'm old and that generally explains a lot. You say you are fifteen, but your profile shows 17 as your age.

Then you color your hair and apparently have internet. So I think there is more here than meets the eye. LOTS of people here have been more than helpful and you have shot down each and every suggestion, and have so I'm just trying to understand what it is you are really after. Just a place to vent, like in your title? Like I said , I'm just confused and trying to understand. And the horsetail thing?

Horsetail ingestion in large amounts could potentially cause thiamine deficiency, hypokalemia, or nicotine toxicity. Reported side effects include dermatitis.

High doses of horsetail may cause symptoms of nicotine overdose, including fever, cold hands and feet, abnormal heart rate, difficulty walking, muscle weakness, and weight loss. Smokers or people who use nicotine patches or nicotine gum should avoid Horsetail. Reports from animal studies indicate that high doses of Horsetail can cause increased frequency of bowel movements, increased urination, loss of potassium and muscle weakness.

Patients with kidney disorders should avoid horsetail. Studies on mice suggest that Horsetail may affect the kidneys, causing abnormalities in the control of water and potassium excretion. Low potassium levels can have negative effects on the heart. Patients who have heart rhythm disorders or are taking digoxin should also avoid Horsetail.

Horsetail contains an ingredient that destroys thiamine (vitamin B1), which could lead to deficiency of this vitamin with long-term use. Thiamine deficiency can cause permanent damage to the brain and nervous system. As a consequence, Horsetail is not recommended during pregnancy or breastfeeding

missdelarocha

November 11th, 2011, 12:06 AM

Then you color your hair and apparently have internet. So I think there is more here than meets the eye. LOTS of people here have been more than helpful and you have shot down each and every suggestion, and have so I'm just trying to understand what it is you are really after. Just a place to vent, like in your title? Like I said , I'm just confused and trying to understand.

I agree, I'm 18 so when I was around 13-15 I went through this, I understand the age thing but it's unnecessary. Be honest, have gratitude, to others and yourself.
Being pretty is not going to fix your friend or boyfriend situation (if we are talking about real friends, not popularity, which leaves you just as lonely) and there are many things you could sacrifice in order to save your health right now.
I hope you can also realise one day just how beautiful everybody has been toward you in this thread and if that's not proof that your inside beauty makes you beautiful overral, I don't know what does!
:grouphug:

boudica

November 11th, 2011, 12:16 AM

Here are two inexpensive suggestions, and a couple that may or may not go over well.

First, my hair was thinning and Megatek Mane & Tail Reconstructor did wonders for me. More hair started growing in right away. I have a dye bottle full of diluted about 8:1 water:condish. I put it on my scalp with my fingertips after I wash.

Second, I have challenged kidneys. DON'T GO WITHOUT BEING TREATED. Seriously! YOU NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR.

Ahem. One thing that's very helpful is a glass of water with 1/2 tsp baking soda mixed in it every night before bed. It prevents degeneration of the kidneys, and mine feel better when I do it regularly. Also, if you're drinking a lot of water, you may be missing electrolytes, so you can add a teaspoon of sea salt to your water and you may feel better.

YOU NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR. I'm not proud of this, but when I had no money, and wasn't eligilble for any kind of assistance, I was told BY A DOCTOR to go to the ER and give a fake name. I did it. It worked. It's more importnat that you get treated than you be able to pay for it. If you live in a small town, go outside of town to do it.

Dump the boyfriend! There are many good guys out there. The coolest thing is that a good portion of them care more about the connection you're capable of making with them rather than how pretty she is.

Even better, you're pretty. You may find that being pretty isn't the most attractive thing you have going for you. There are many many guys who are caring, loving and sweet. Find them.

Patterns formed while dating in your teens will often persist throughout your life. Don't get comfortable with a jerk, because then you'll have trouble breaking out of that pattern later. (Not to mention that the groundwork you're laying now is what your future self will build her relationships on.) Seriously. Be nice to that older woman. You won't regret it. Start now. No jerks into your life. Even if they're not popular. No jerks.

It's hard to think straight when you're sick and no one is willing to listen to you. If your parents aren't listening, and it's an extreme case, then you may need to be open to emancipating yourself. Witholding medical care is a reasonable cause for this.

After that you can go live with others, on minimum wage - (I was better off when I finally did this, even at minimum wage.) Or if you have any relatives who are decent, you can live with them until you finish high school. And it sounds like high school somewhere else might not be a bad thing.

There are a lot of good and practical ideas on this thread. You should listen to them. Get medical care right away no matter how. Dump the boyfriend.

Jimothea

November 11th, 2011, 12:46 AM

I'm not a health professional, but I'm with everyone else; get to the doc, now! There are plenty of options for a young woman/girl. Maybe your school counselor/nurse can tell you your options, if you aren't comfortable with talking to your parents. And there's Google to find the laws and financial info for need-based clinics.

As for the looks bit, PLEASE remember that for every girl you envy, there's one envying you. Total truth. The girls with strict parents might envy you b/c of the Manic Panic (luurve that color, btw). The freckly girls might envy your milky skin. Or your bone structure, or your bright eyes. It's all there; I'm not making this stuff up--high school is all about the envy. Don't let yourself get caught up in it. You are beautiful. You are beautiful!

If you're having trouble remembering that, spend time MAKING yourself remember! Mirror mantras, posties, whatever. You deserve it! I write, so I of course recommend that--journaling is a great way to get crap off your chest, and it helps you keep tabs on yourself as you grow into whomever you want to become--but I digress. And when you start being a Negative Nancy about yourself, TACK ON SOMETHING POSITIVE! Every time. Like your life depends on it...because in a lot of ways, it does. Being down on yourself is a vicious, vicious cycle. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, in life and in the self.

On the self-esteem tack, gentle exercise too, like swimming or [some] yoga(s) or pilates--enough to get your blood flowing but not enough to throw a kink in whatever health stuff you're dealing with--has the delightful side effects of causing hair growth spurts AND releasing enorphins. Who doesn't like growth spurts and endorphins?! If there's no fitness place nearby, or you're too shy, youtube has some wonderful options. Yeah, you'll have to sift through a lot of crap, but the benefits are beyond worth it.

Spirituality, whatever your flavor may be, is also good for feeling better about yourself all around, and I mean this in a broad-spectrum sense. If faith in a 'divinity' is not your thing, then make yourself DO or FIND what you do have faith in, be it dance, disecting frogs, neurology, upper maths, gardening, community service, baking, volunteer work, taking apart computers, whatever. Something. Anything. Anything important, all-important, and awe-inspiring to you. :)

Thin hair, btw, gives you a lot of options in the updo department. I think your hair looks fab; the color and the length suit you! (IMO, your hair doesn't look that thin at all--and by "that" thin I mean, you know, the kind of thin we all worry about :)) And as for the big chop, it will grow back. That's the wonderful thing about hair. It will grow back. Rest easy. It might not seem to be growing like you want it to, but it will eventually grow back.

Oh, and ditch the dude. Surround yourself, instead, with people who matter and people who care. Look around and you'll find them!

Alright, my two cents is almost over. My last random bit of input is this:

Some time when you're by yourself (or even better, around as many people as you can get to join you), make yourself laugh for two minutes straight. Sounds stupid, I know, but really. "Ha, ha, ha, ha," for two minutes. First 30 seconds, yes, you will feel pretty stupid (prolly for doing what some crazy chick off LHC told you to try). Second 30 seconds you'll realize how ironic it is that you're still laughing, despite how stupid you felt. Then it will become funny. Really funny...really, really, really, my-abs-hurt-oh-ow-oh-my-gawd funny.

And life is always better with a little laughter :)

Pierre

November 11th, 2011, 05:00 AM

Do the chickens forage in the grass? If they don't, you're missing out on some important vitamins. It may not make much difference now, but put them out next spring and summer.

I used to be a vegetarian but it didn't work out. I now eat beef and chicken (including hearts and livers) from a local farm where they are raised on pasture and occasionally wild fish. I also eat fermented cod liver oil / butter oil blend. I bought two jars this time and have one in the freezer in case I run out this winter. My main fat source, though, is avocados.

If your boyfriend makes you feel stupid, find someone else. Knowing nutrition is not useless, it's essential. And knowing about hair is pretty important too.

colormeindie

November 11th, 2011, 06:43 AM

yes the chickens are free range. they have a whole big back yard to do what chickens do :)

Thanks Jimothea :) i'll definately have to try that.

and thanks justgreen, i think im going to have to stop taking horsetail now :blueeek:

Becky9679

November 11th, 2011, 07:03 AM

There's a great deal of excellent advice on here already so I will just limit myself to saying a couple of things - first of all I've just been and had a look at your albums and as to you thinking you're not pretty, I have to say you're dead wrong. I think you're stunning! There is absolutely no sense at all in being a carbon copy of what everyone else perceives as beautiful or what the fashion magazines tell you you should look like. I look at those pictures and I think 'yeah, ok they're quite pretty but they all look exactly the same'.

Obviously this can be difficult at 15 when there's so much pressure to be like everyone else. I remember being the misfit in school. I was very introverted, I was plain-looking, I had no real friends and was constantly picked on but once I left school I never looked back!

Take heart, school days are not endless and you will soon be free to be the person you want to be.

I hope that your health improves :blossom:

jacqueline101

November 11th, 2011, 08:06 AM

I would say your best bet would be to see a doctor. Its a medical issue. It could be a diet issue as well as stress.

islandboo

November 11th, 2011, 08:22 AM

First off let me agree with every one else by saying that you have striking looks, beautiful skin and gorgeous eyes.

Several people have suggested working on positive thinking and self affirmation which is fabulous if it works for you. I am one of the people for whom it does not, but I get around it by knowing that my mind focuses on negative things and disregards positive things. So when I get negative myself I can step outside my thought pattern and recognize that I am being hard on myself without cause (sure, I may have a reason in my mind, but I recognize that my reasoning is invalid or colored by my negativity). So I am able to disregard those feelings while still feeling them, if that makes sense.

As far as the age disparity, I don't know the rationale for the OP but I will share that when my niece got her Facebook account, we warned her sternly about the dangers of online predators and her adorable if impractical solution was to list her age as 18 while still listing her school as (Townsville) Middle School :p

There have been some very good suggestions about how to obtain medical treatment even when money is tight. Please, please follow up with one of those resources and be seen.

Oh, and dump the guy. Life is far too short to waste time on people who drag you down. Focus on spending time with those who make you a better person, not those who tell you you aren't a good enough person. Best of luck to you and remember that we are all pulling for you :flower:

gretchen_hair

November 11th, 2011, 10:23 AM

You can go to the emergency room, they have to see you and they will bill you. if you can't afford to pay you can make arrangements and many times they write it off and won't make your family pay anything.

At the age of 15 (from your post) (or 17 from your profile tab) you should not ever have to worry about seeing a Dr. You need to find out what these problems are, if you wait too long, you may have these issues (or worse) throughout your lifetime. You need to catch these things now, before they become something more serious.

Your State should have a CHIPS program for underage children (if your parents can't afford insurance you should be able to get a medical card anyways, for free) Please ask them to apply or ask someone at school to point you and them in the right direction.

EDIT: HERE IS A LINK TO THE PA CHIPS PROGRAM

It states that ALL KIDS AND TEENS who are uninsured are COVERED:

http://www.chipcoverspakids.com/

http://www.chipcoverspakids.com/eligibility-and-requirements/

my family doesnt have the money to see a doctor even at a walk in clinic.

but thank you all for your advice :) it really does mean something, so thanks :)

colormeindie

November 12th, 2011, 10:03 AM

ok through a long conversation with my mother i have a doctors appointment scheduled for Wednesday this week. phew.

ravenreed

November 12th, 2011, 10:22 AM

Glad to hear that you are going to the doctor. Make sure that you mention all your symptoms, such as the hair loss. At your age, that is definitely a symptom. Don't forget to mention that you are taking a diuretic to help deal with the kidney pain, and find out if that is doing more harm than good. If you must, make a list so you don't forget any. Good luck!

Fethenwen

November 12th, 2011, 10:40 AM

Thank goodness you got a appointment to the doctor! :)

---

That said, I just thought I'd say a few words about your other issues. Being 15 is not easy, I had a horrible time myself, but now I just laugh about it. The things I thought about myself then was really the end of the world for me, but now when I think about them I just laugh.

There are a few things you should try to avoid, don't compare yourself to others too much - especially other girls that have longer hair and who you consider to be prettier than you! It is such a waste of time and energy to compare yourself to others and to wish you would look like someone else.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of focusing too much on superficial things in that age, so one easily forgets that there is better things out there to do than to focus on looks. Of course it's nice to use some makeup and clothes that look good on you, but I think it's not good to have that as a main focus in life because in the end it will just give you worse self-esteem because you wont be able to live up to the ideals - the thing is -> no one can!
You will soon realize that the fashion industry's main weapon is the make us feel ugly so that we will buy their products.

You seem like a really cool person, work on what you have :) Be yourself.
And if you feel that your boyfriend is not making you happy, then you are definitively better off without him.