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Mrs. D
November 9th, 2011, 11:50 AM
I am getting so sick of the crappy comments about my hair. Last week my hair made me look 20+ years older. This week my side swept braided bun (courtesy of BerlinHairBaby on you tube) makes me look like "a really, really old Scandinavian lady".
There are lots of beautiful Scandinavian ladies out there, but I am thinking she was not meaning this as a compliment.
Can't wait until next weeks snide comment. If I were to say to this person "Your hair looks like a weird mess. You cut it too short for your wave pattern and it looks terrible in the back" I would be busted.
I never thought about her hairstyle at all in the past, now I feel like picking her apart and that is bad.
:justy:Shannon

redmj
November 9th, 2011, 11:53 AM
I get the same thing. It drives me crazy buecause I want to look at (my) her and say, "well your hair is too short for your face, so processed it looks horrible and is dull and lifeless." Not that I could tell her that. Don't dis my hair choice.

W2
November 9th, 2011, 11:57 AM
I get compared to a danish politician (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/Ritt_Bjerregaard_portrait.JPG)30 years older than me - because I wear it in a bun and use glasses! It's soooo frustrating

teal
November 9th, 2011, 11:59 AM
Is it the same people each time? I'd ask them point blank why they feel the need to put you and/or your hairstyle down. There's no excuse for telling someone they look unattractive without having been prompted for an opinion. When it comes to looks, if you can't say something nice then say nothing at all. Or if it's really bad and you think the person is unaware, pull them aside and tell them in the kindest terms in private so that they can save face.

spidermom
November 9th, 2011, 12:06 PM
For sure, teal - that's so tactless I can't stand it. I mean, if it's your mom, that's one thing, but if it's a coworker or neighbor, it's inexcusable. I'd like to say something like "I could give you my negative opinions about your appearance, too, but I was raised better than that."

AngelDella
November 9th, 2011, 12:11 PM
perfect response, Spidermom! I'm ready now if it happens to me :)

Nordlilja
November 9th, 2011, 12:41 PM
I am sorry, but that about the "really, really old Scandinavian lady" made me laugh! I have never, ever, seen any girl, woman or lady wearing a braided bun in Scandinavia. Except in the mirror!:D

CC-Bale
November 9th, 2011, 12:41 PM
Gah it's frustrating and I also agree with Spidermom. I don't think she was right in anyway because I love the the colour in your hair in your display pic.

spike316
November 9th, 2011, 01:01 PM
I agree that this is frustrating. I would probably say something along the lines of "Thanks, that was the look I was going for!" or "I do my best!" with people like this I assume that they're trying to make me feel bad and I try my hardest not to gratify them.

ravenreed
November 9th, 2011, 01:10 PM
You should get very excited and exclaim breathlessly, "Thanks, that is EXACTLY the look I was going for!" Then walk off with a large smile on your face. If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em.



I am getting so sick of the crappy comments about my hair. Last week my hair made me look 20+ years older. This week my side swept braided bun (courtesy of BerlinHairBaby on you tube) makes me look like "a really, really old Scandinavian lady".
There are lots of beautiful Scandinavian ladies out there, but I am thinking she was not meaning this as a compliment.
Can't wait until next weeks snide comment. If I were to say to this person "Your hair looks like a weird mess. You cut it too short for your wave pattern and it looks terrible in the back" I would be busted.
I never thought about her hairstyle at all in the past, now I feel like picking her apart and that is bad.
:justy:Shannon

Amber_Maiden
November 9th, 2011, 01:14 PM
Aw! *HUGS* They are just jealous! Just ignore them, or ask say the same about their hair, while smiling. Like "Oh, thank your for the compliment" Grin "Right back you!"

xo

spidermom
November 9th, 2011, 01:14 PM
You should get very excited and exclaim breathlessly, "Thanks, that is EXACTLY the look I was going for!" Then walk off with a large smile on your face. If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em.

I laughed at that one.

AnnaJamila
November 9th, 2011, 01:27 PM
You should get very excited and exclaim breathlessly, "Thanks, that is EXACTLY the look I was going for!" Then walk off with a large smile on your face. If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em.

Hahaha, NICE!

Mrs. D
November 9th, 2011, 01:45 PM
Thought about coming to work with some type of old lady scarf on my head. It is the same two people all the time. Everyone else is intrigued by my hair and wants me to help them with it. Infact someone brought in a hair toy this morning for me to teach them how to use.
I wish I could be more witty and forceful, but they are my supervisor and her toadie.
Oh well, you guys are the greatest.

AnqeIicDemise
November 9th, 2011, 01:52 PM
Thought about coming to work with some type of old lady scarf on my head. It is the same two people all the time. Everyone else is intrigued by my hair and wants me to help them with it. Infact someone brought in a hair toy this morning for me to teach them how to use.
I wish I could be more witty and forceful, but they are my supervisor and her toadie.
Oh well, you guys are the greatest.


1) Focus on incidents like the italics and underlined because that is the true beauty of your hair.

2) And ... it seems its time to tell them that they're carrying the joke too far and ask them to stop in a polite fashion, then document, document document for HR purposes.

Its harder to stop someone from pestering you outside of work, really. You do have an out.

Slinks
November 9th, 2011, 01:54 PM
Is it the same people each time? I'd ask them point blank why they feel the need to put you and/or your hairstyle down. There's no excuse for telling someone they look unattractive without having been prompted for an opinion. When it comes to looks, if you can't say something nice then say nothing at all. Or if it's really bad and you think the person is unaware, pull them aside and tell them in the kindest terms in private so that they can save face.

THIS ^^^^^^ I would just say something like - you said that last week, do you have to keep repeating yourself - keep it nice or give it back - if it is repeatedly I would, in the end tell her what I think ..

Slinks
November 9th, 2011, 01:55 PM
For sure, teal - that's so tactless I can't stand it. I mean, if it's your mom, that's one thing, but if it's a coworker or neighbor, it's inexcusable. I'd like to say something like "I could give you my negative opinions about your appearance, too, but I was raised better than that."
ah yeah THIS too ^^^^^ I'll be keeping this one in mind :-)

Slinks
November 9th, 2011, 01:58 PM
You should get very excited and exclaim breathlessly, "Thanks, that is EXACTLY the look I was going for!" Then walk off with a large smile on your face. If you can't beat 'em, confuse 'em.
lol .. too funny .. I guess these types of reactions work .. :cheese:

FrozenBritannia
November 9th, 2011, 02:00 PM
I think someone said it already, but I would just smile hugely and say "Thanks! I really like yours too!"

It'll have them scratching their heads for sure..

Orangerthanred
November 9th, 2011, 03:55 PM
The Scandinavian part is a bit racist, and I highly doubt your hair makes you look old. I think short hair makes people look older.

archel
November 9th, 2011, 05:48 PM
I would flat out say, "I would appreciate it if you would stop criticizing my hair." Then if they continue, take the issue to HR. Supervisor or not, it's unacceptable.

missdelarocha
November 10th, 2011, 04:30 AM
I just feel sorry for them, they're clearly not very nice people and I certainly wouldn't be their friend.
I think anybody who feels the need to put down others or do anything else negative similar to that has their own serious issues.

ooo
November 10th, 2011, 05:27 AM
I get compared to a danish politician (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/Ritt_Bjerregaard_portrait.JPG)30 years older than me - because I wear it in a bun and use glasses! It's soooo frustrating

I love the mean librarian look!

swearnsue
November 10th, 2011, 10:04 AM
I would say, "Your comments about my appearance hurts my feelings." Then walk away and make a note of the date and time and what was said. Another thing you can say is, "Please do not be rude to me." Sometimes simple statements like that can make people think about what they are saying and it can't be misinterpreted later if you have to file a grievance.