Long Hair Isn't a Number :)

[busnutmedic]

I just thought I'd share my thoughts about this.

As some of you may remember me, I was pretty close to classic length a few years ago (you can check out my album here (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/album.php?u=486) )

Since then, I've bobbed, and then started regrowing my hair. I took my current profile picture about 6 months after my last trim for the bob, without any trimming since.

So, for a long time I was obsessed with numbers. I was obsessed with length (as quantifiable by a measurement) and thickness. I've since realized that my hair is uniquely mine, and I'm going to wear it in a way that suits me. It may be BLS. I may be waist length. I do want it long, but I'm not so hung up on a number anymore.

I feel like when the number is all that matters, it's a little like going to a fitness forum and being hung up on getting our waist to a certain number, or thinking the smallest you can get is best, or you HAVE to get to a certain body fat percentage to look fit, because that's what someone else who you admire has.


So I just wanted to say, those of you who are trimming to get your ends the way you want them, or your hair grows really slow, or anything else that hinders you from "hitting the numbers," my opinion is that you don't need to worry about the numbers to have long hair. You shouldn't feel so guilty for trimming, or for having anything less than classic length, or, *gasp,* a thin ponytail (like I have!).

I guess I'm not sure exactly what I'm saying here. Just that you don't have to feel bad about a certain number of inches that your hair is. Enjoy it while it's growing, enjoy it when you reach your goal (or when it looks like what you want it to!). Look at it in the mirror sometimes! Do you like it? That's my main qualifier for length now -- if I like it, that's what I want :)

I understand maybe some of you like going for a number, and that's FINE. I just hate to see anyone feel as bad as I did about my hair because it HAD to be a certain length and even though I hated how it looked at that length, I was so caught up in the number, or a classifier or length, that I tried so hard to grow it to there. :blossom:

[Amber_Maiden]

I agree! Thanks for posting this thread! :)

[jesis]

Thanks for posting this! I was obsessed with the numbers for the first 6 months I was at LHC. I would measure 3 or 4 times a month sometimes just hoping I grew a little bit, which only led to devastation whenever I hadn't grown any or, *gasp*, lost a little length. Now, I just let my hair grow and take good care of it and know that wherever my hair ends up, I will love it because I spent so much time loving and nurturing it. :)

[Immera]

I have found in my year here that so much of this hair stuff is genetics. I mean, we can all be a bit gentler to our locks, but the thickness, texture and terminal length, that's not in my control.
My hair won't grow to my knees; that's just how it is.

On the numbers. I'm 5 feet tall with about 2 1/2 feet of hair. That's about waist for me. That's as long as it grows with microtrims. The numbers don't matter because on my 6-foot tall significant other, that would be mid-back. If I had JJLonghair's mane it would drag the floor.

I know LHCers polled that they don't think hair is long until after bsl or waist. I don't know where you all live, but I only very rarely see a person with waist or longer hair.

I'm with you on accepting what I've got and doing the best I can to care for it, which is mostly benign neglect.

[Rocket22]

I agree, and I know it's hard sometimes. We are sooo focused on the destination that we forget to enjoy the journey. I have to remind myself to relax and enjoy all stages. Because once it gets to goal then what?:confused:

[minerva_deluthe]

Agreed! I have gotten so much information from here, but my hair is just below shoulder length and I am enjoying it immensely. I am growing it longer but I'm not going to wait for it to get to an approved length to start loving it and feeling that I have long hair.

[BlazingHeart]

I think that in hair and in health, numbers can be useful but they are only part of the story. It can tell you if you are doing things your hair and body likes; it can also point out when what you are doing is not giving optimal health. There are other markers of health (both hair and body) that I think are much more important, but that is kind of beside the point. I think we have to look at hair and body and be happy with what we have and focus on what makes things best for ourselves on the whole. Happiness is a valid measure of part of your whole-health picture.

[KwaveT]

I don't get hung up on a physical number as far as it has to be this length. I do get a little too much into using numbers to see if it is still growing and how fast. I probably do need to learn to enjoy the journey more. It is easy to get a little impatient. I wish my parents would let me grow it while I was little.

[Annibelle]

Thanks for this post. :) I just trimmed two inches off my hair tonight, and I was feelin' kinda down about it. My hair needs to be cut, as it would look much healthier at BSL (my sig pic is deceptive! ;) ), but I'm just not ready for that jump... maybe this thread will inspire me to just CUT it! I know it will look healthier at that length! I'm just letting the fact that I REALLY want to be at hip, or AT LEAST stay at waist, stop me from cutting. Ahhh all that matters is that the hair is healthy, right? :)

[Maraz]

That's good, because I can rarely get the tape measurer to give me the same number twice. And wow, OP, your hair is super shiny!

[Fairytale]

Im already obsessive enough with weight numbers to think about another number, so NO numbers for me either just milestones .:D
Im a benign hair neglect junkie so I feel it grows faster without me noticing .If I did do the numbera and had a growth stall it would drive me nutty.;)

[KateMcC]

I fully agree that every one has different types of hair, goals, and genetics and that we should each enjoy the journey; however, for many of us the numbers are a tool, not a goal.

I use length/circumference/typing to compare if what I am doing is helping or hurting based on my preveious measurements. If I am trying to recreate a hairstyle or updo and can't, it's nice to see that the other person has twelve inches longer hair so, duh, no wonder I can't do it. I like being able to use the numbers to find a hair-twin and note what worked or didn't work for her--that's saved me much time and money. I also like to watch what those who have hair a bit longer than mine are doing, as it keeps me encouraged on bad hair days, and reminds me to be patient as I continue towards my goals. (A half inch per month is average, Kate. Chill out and enjoy the ride ;) .)

I have never felt put down, less than, belittled, or as if I'm losing a competition in the seven years I've been a member of LHC. This lovely and growing group has been helpful, encouraging, and supportive when I first started at shoulder length with no knowledge or resources, when I reached waist length the first time, when my hair started falling out, when I was in the middle of a medical crisis and DH had to cut 17 inches off, when I had to step away from the boards for awhile, and welcomed me back when I was ready to start over with very different hair type/texture and physical limitations. I am now about to reach waist length for the second time, and it's nice to celebrate with those who understand that my hair is simply a metaphor for the journey of my life these past years.

Should someone feel that LHC is a competition or requires one to meet a standard or follow rules, I hope they would remember that out of the thousands of members here there might be a few bad apples, but such is life. Also, please consider why they are obsessing over the numbers. It may have nothing to do with this community, but perhaps with their own personality or maturity. :confused:

Just my :twocents: in case any one cares...

[redwoman]

I Don't go with numbers at all... I use body markers. I'm at classic, next stop fingertip. How many inches, I don't know. Guess I should measure once at least....whatever.

[RedheadMistress]

- I don't get hung up on numbers, I don't even measure it .
Now I just rely on photos, going to start taking 1 photo/month at least, to put up here !
I only care about how soft and nice it feels and how healthy it is, which I can tell by my curls, the more tighter curls, the healthier ! Naturally I have tight ringlets but I've damaged my hair So much, so it's just wavy . . Now I cut half of it off, or more, heh, and it's super curly . :)

I will just go off the photos and how it feels . . I want to get hair so long it goes past half my bum .

[spidermom]

I was really obsessed the first few years because I didn't know if I could reach my goal of classic. Now that I have and then cut back, I'm not obsessed any more. A little more or less length just doesn't matter. So I see what you're saying, and I agree.

[Lisa R]

Thanks for your words. Was good to read and a timely reminder to myself!:) I'm going to go back and re-read it again!!

[PixxieStix]

Oooo, I love your thoughts, and thanks for sharing with them!

I haven't been number obsessed, and I'm certainly not expecting long hair over night, but admit sometimes seeing longer hair than mine and being a little jealous. But, then I remind myself, everyone had let it grow to get where it is, and there is no way around that. Like I told my baby brother who will be turning 21 on his next b-day, "We all had to wait 21 years to be able to drink alcohol, just because I was born before you doesn't make it less than that." I'm much more obsessed with my hair being healthy and allowing it to grow, however fast it will with me giving it the best care I can.

And, even though I'm only just oh so close to shoulder, I consider myself a long haired girl, maybe not a long haired girl *with* long hair, but a long haired girl at heart certainly, and while others might think I'm a bit :crazy:, that is okay with me, because like you said, it isn't about the number, it's about the journey and what we like seeing on ourselves.

[seaj]

I haven't measured my hair at all since I decided to grow it out, but I do keep track of how long I have been growing my hair. It's been 2 years and 3 months since my last hair cut and I don't plan on any trims until I get to my belly button. I don't need any more numbers to worry about.

[Yame]

I guess I'm still in the obsessive phase. It's not so much that I am obsessed with numbers, it's just that I've been around this length for so long (I grew it to this length and kept it here for many years, just recently deciding to grow more) and I really want to see what my hair actually looks like when it's longer than it's ever been. So, BCL and TB can't come soon enough! My hair grows so slowly, it'll be at least another 4 months before it's visibly "longer than it's ever been."

But I hear what you are saying, and you're right. Hopefully I'll reach that wisdom as I get closer to my goals.

[Juneii]

I think it is something all (or at least most) of us go through when first coming to LHC. It is something new and exciting and we all want to reach our goal now now now and be likeall the beautiful long hairs we see here. But after a while we get get over the excitement of long hair and start focusing more on the health of our hair. And then we learn that the mass amounts of information we absorbed the first few months or years at LHC is just that: information. Our hair is all different and has it's own routine and care. What works for some of us doesn't work for others at all. And once I realized that I stopped obsessing over my hair and how fast it grows and just appreciated my hair for the way it is and continue to take good care of it and sometimes try out different products and treatments recommended on here.

[honeydippedxo]

When I look in the mirror as I'm brushing my hair and think HEY my hair looks longer! I take out my tape measure to see if I'm right and it makes me happy to see that it's doesn't just look longer but it actually IS longer. That's why I measure C: I'm with you that long hair has no number though and it's defiantly not something to get hung up on.

[akilina]

I agree! ive actually never measured my hair in inches, only because i just know it would start to drive me NUTS and id be crazy about measuring it

[Niphredil]

I guess I'm not sure exactly what I'm saying here. Just that you don't have to feel bad about a certain number of inches that your hair is. Enjoy it while it's growing, enjoy it when you reach your goal (or when it looks like what you want it to!). Look at it in the mirror sometimes! Do you like it? That's my main qualifier for length now -- if I like it, that's what I want :)

I understand maybe some of you like going for a number, and that's FINE. I just hate to see anyone feel as bad as I did about my hair because it HAD to be a certain length and even though I hated how it looked at that length, I was so caught up in the number, or a classifier or length, that I tried so hard to grow it to there. :blossom:


I was really obsessed the first few years because I didn't know if I could reach my goal of classic. Now that I have and then cut back, I'm not obsessed any more. A little more or less length just doesn't matter. So I see what you're saying, and I agree.

I completely understand what you are saying. I, too, used to be obsessed with the numbers, measuring twice a month sometimes. I even have growth charts from the 2003-2006 period.
Now, I just let it grow, trim when the ends feel like they need it or to reshape. I'll simply see where it will end up and whether or not I will go short again some day.

[busnutmedic]

Oh wow, I didn't realize so many people would comment :D

I'm not dissing the numbers at all, by the way. And I don't think it's a bad thing to do, but for me I just felt so bad that my hair wasn't all thick at the number I wanted to reach, but I wanted the number so bad I didn't stop to think that maybe I should just make my hair the length I actually loved it at, not the one that was the "impressive" or "right" length/number.

I love this community! Man, I really do.

[wtchmel]

Totally agreed, i've been on these boards for almost 10 years and i've always wanted knee or thigh length hair. I've never obtained that goal. Finally i just started doing what ever i needed for my hair to look good on me, and said to hell with the numbers and obsessions about it. ( i still obsess about things, but it's not about the length or numbers anymore,lol)
I also came to the conclusion at some point that "a watched pot never boils" (by that i mean obsessing about it seemed to make/appear it grow slower) and it's just hair, it'll grow back, and usually better, and healthier. So Just enjoy it and have a good time with it.

[Delila]

It is interesting how our goals change over time, isn't it?

For me, growing out bangs and layers was SUCH a chore. Ugh.

I have to say, though, that since I reached the fingertip goal that I'd once thought was perhaps impossible, I've mellowed out about the whole thing. Sure, I take care of my hair, but my routine is simpler and I just don't spend the same amount of time thinking about my hair (for whatever reason).

I suppose it's true that my satisfaction/ease may be a result of having found a long term routine that works for me so that I CAN stop thinking about my hair. Some of the time at shorter lengths I went through some really awkward times when my hair seemed impossibly difficult to cope with for one reason or another.

I'm thinking that I'm kind of lucky that I can't measure my hair very well. I always get different numbers every time I measure, so I learned a long time ago not to put too much faith in any one measurement.

[Avital88]

u have a good point, im obsessed with numbers too, i want my hair this inches, my scale to say this much pounds etc..you got me thinking :))

[Avital88]

but i still want 40inches of hair haha, i dont measure so much anymore though, only once every 3 to 4 months.

[Lostsoule77]

I think you make some really valid points that will be helpful to a lot of people here. :D

Your post just makes me glad that I'm lazy enough to not measure often or take too many length shot pictures. I'm pretty sure my hair grows on the slower side and if I measured all the time I'd get depressed about that. I've only measured twice since I've been here. Both the length and thickness when I first got here to put those numbers up and then again a few months later to check for progress. I haven't since then, though I've been thinking I should (if only I hadn't lost my tape measure.) :D

Thank you so much for posting this. For one it gives me one reason that being lazy is good (as opposed to all the bad reasons there are for it.) Plus it is a great reminder for all of us to chill a bit and enjoy the ride. :D

[moon2dove]

I absolutely agree. I am so glad I read this post. A big thank you for posting your thoughts on obsessing with numbers :)

I have been on this sight but a few months and was starting to obsess a bit (yes I admit it)
I think, after reading this, I am definitely NOT going to be as obsessive about my journey for longer hair and just enjoy it by keeping my hair as healthy as I can on my journey for healthy, longer hair. Thank you :) :)

[jojo]

I totally agree, hair isn't a number its an asset to the individua, no matter what length it isl. I am trying to stop being fixated by reaching a certain number and concentrate on here and now. Thank you for this thread.

[GlennaGirl]

I just thought I'd share my thoughts about this.

As some of you may remember me, I was pretty close to classic length a few years ago (you can check out my album here (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/album.php?u=486) )

Since then, I've bobbed, and then started regrowing my hair. I took my current profile picture about 6 months after my last trim for the bob, without any trimming since.

So, for a long time I was obsessed with numbers. I was obsessed with length (as quantifiable by a measurement) and thickness. I've since realized that my hair is uniquely mine, and I'm going to wear it in a way that suits me. It may be BLS. I may be waist length. I do want it long, but I'm not so hung up on a number anymore.

I feel like when the number is all that matters, it's a little like going to a fitness forum and being hung up on getting our waist to a certain number, or thinking the smallest you can get is best, or you HAVE to get to a certain body fat percentage to look fit, because that's what someone else who you admire has.


So I just wanted to say, those of you who are trimming to get your ends the way you want them, or your hair grows really slow, or anything else that hinders you from "hitting the numbers," my opinion is that you don't need to worry about the numbers to have long hair. You shouldn't feel so guilty for trimming, or for having anything less than classic length, or, *gasp,* a thin ponytail (like I have!).

I guess I'm not sure exactly what I'm saying here. Just that you don't have to feel bad about a certain number of inches that your hair is. Enjoy it while it's growing, enjoy it when you reach your goal (or when it looks like what you want it to!). Look at it in the mirror sometimes! Do you like it? That's my main qualifier for length now -- if I like it, that's what I want :)

I understand maybe some of you like going for a number, and that's FINE. I just hate to see anyone feel as bad as I did about my hair because it HAD to be a certain length and even though I hated how it looked at that length, I was so caught up in the number, or a classifier or length, that I tried so hard to grow it to there. :blossom:

This was beautifully stated, thank you.

[see_turtle]

I just changed my goals in my details to non number measurements for this reason! I got a professional trim to even out my self trim on Friday and my hair looks and feels great...it's shorter but I like it more. So I'm trying to not dwell on the numbers so much.

[girlcat36]

Thanks for this thread, busnutmedic!
Very wise words that I need to pay attention to. I struggle so much with the hair growing thing. Slow growth, shedding, thinness, scraggly hemline......it's not easy for me. I want SO much to attain a certain length that I get so obsessed with the numbers. I hate the way my hemline looks, but I can't give up the length.
I really need a hair attitude adjustment!