Children with long hair

[tobikay]

Good evening guys. This is my first post, but I have been reading and learning for the past few weeks. Thanks for the wonderful information.

Let me start by saying that my hair is its own issue in itself, but today my question is about my daughter's hair.

My dd is 6, her hair has never been cut, currently it is at TB length, straight but with lots of body and thick enough for 2 girls her age, and it is beautiful.

The problem we face with her hair is tangles. I detangle after her shower, and try to keep it in a braid (or two) as much as possible. She loves to wear it down. It seems that the left side of her hair and at the nape of the neck are a constant challenge for "us".

http://images.kodakgallery.com/photos4816/6/11/14/86/85/0/85861411614_0_ALB.jpg

Looking for any tips you might have. Also, tips on updo's for kids...

thanks in advance.

[Saranne772]

Does she tend to wear it down? It seems that few children are able to keep their hair tangle free very easily. So having it in a ponytail or down is not the best way to keep it tangle free. As a child myself twin braids or one single braid down my back kept it mostly undercontrol (and also went a long way to preventing headlice as hair is restricted and does not flow around so much)

Another style which I like for children- http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=35

Other people may have updo styles for children to suggest- I am not really keen on updos for children really

[tobikay]

Yes, she likes to wear it down, I do my best to keep it up, but I can't count the days that I would pick her up from school to find that her 'do had "fallen" down. She is stubborn.

French braids (one or two), and pony tails are the norm, or a large clip holding the front and sides back.

I wash her hair every 2 to 4 days, depending on what is going on and sweat, on day one the tangles are managable, but beyond that...well, we just do our best.

[Riot Crrl]

What kind of products do you use on her?

(I'm a bit biased in this way but) it seems like maybe she is a secret wavy girl who could possibly benefit from conditioner-only washing. And a leave in conditioner of some sort.

[harley mama]

Our DD had classic length hair when she was young. It was a pain to keep the tangles out. We did a lot of braiding. And used gallons of Johnson's Detangler for kids.

[tobikay]

Products? Well, up until about a month ago, I thought I was supposed to buy the "expensive" s/c for her hair. Now I know better. Doesn't seem to make a difference if we are using Pantene or VO5. And J&J detangling spray does nothing for a mat in her hair, it just has to stay there until we wash again.

BTW, I can't/won't cut it for religous reasons, so I see this just becoming a bigger and bigger issue as she gets older (although, she will become more and more able to deal with it on her own)

[tobikay]

Yes, she could be considered a wavy when her hair is allowed to dry untouched, and she holds braid waves pretty well.

[Firefly]

Hi Tobikay! I am having a similar tangle-issue with my DD. Her hair is MBL so not as long as your daughter's, but you might find some helpful advice in this thread:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=7048

So far I have found braiding/updo's to be a life saver. She normally doesn't like updos but I am trying to make them fun-- the other day I did two skinny braids hanging down by her temples and then put the rest in Leia buns... she was thrilled and kept it in all day!

Good luck!

[yogachic]

My dd6 hair always has tangles too. I try to keep it braided now. It does help. When I do her hair in braids for school, or a ponytail, anything, she always takes it out at some point during the day.

She knows how much easier brushing is if its kept braided, opposed to leaving it loose, so she wants it braided most times.

I would also recommend the detangling sprays, they do help somewhat.

[curly girl fla]

I have no solutions, but I feel your pain. I have a 5 yo with hair mid-back, and a 3 yo whose hair is approaching the same. They have fine hair-my older girl seems to have more of a wave to hers. I've been CO-ing, but it's still an ordeal every time, and neither one will even allow a ponytail. Barrettes don't last an hour...I just struggle each morning and night to attempt to detangle. They are both so stubborn-I always feel like it would be so easy to cut their hair, but hold back with just bangs and light trimming. They have beautiful hair, but I know my 5 yo is getting split ends...I'm at a loss....I hope your daughter becomes more agreeable to updo's.

[VanillaTresses]

I had short hair when I was young, but I had many friends with very long hair. Their mothers inevitably seemed to style their hair in a regular french braid, a dutch (inside out) french braid, or two pigtail french braids of either variety. I really focused on this because I would sit there and wish that I had hair like that and that my mother would style it for me (the truth was, my mother has retained relatively short hair throughout her entire life and she was hopeless with even helping me do a ponytail)!

So, to get back to the point, maybe you could try one of these very secure styles on your DD. To help with the "falling out" part (I think you were implying that she must take it out somewhere during the day??) you could maybe discuss with her whether she would rather deal with leaving it in during school or having the tangles out later... Also, if it really is falling out I would recommend some of those new Goody Ouchless Stay-put hair ties- they are available at places like Target in a multitude of sizes and colors-- I have been using them myself for french braids as I have very "slippery" fine hair. (Note that I tried the Ouchless thingees about a year ago and they were bad/not hair friendly but they seem to somewhat have improved them and changed the material or something. They now stay in but do not pull hair.)

Best of luck!

[truepeacenik]

greetings, Tobikay.

I had the same tangle patterns as a kiddo myself, and my nape still tangles.

My mom used Tame on me, by the gallon.
If I were battling this today (my son's hair is some sort of non tangling miracle) I would take some conditioner, mix it maybe one part conditioner to three parts water in a spray bottle and use it on the underlayer for sure and depending on the pattern of tangles on the left.

Is some of this from sleeping as well as being an energetic kiddo?

some tricks my mom used on me to get me to leave my hair alone if she braided it was to let me chose decorations (remember that hideous thick yarn from the 70s? yeah... lots of colors) and chose where the braid ended, too, so I was OK with six inches of loose ends, while a foot or so stayed braided.

you say you will not cut for religious reasons. Is snipping off damage (really S&D: where you snip that particular hair with a split) completely out of the question for your faith?

sometimes the tangles are based on a few splits. remove the split, remove the base for the knots.

[MeMyselfandI]

tobikay,

I totally feel for you and understand both you and your daughter. I always had long hair and so does my daughter.

The one biggest helper was the Remington Tangle Tamer. Which was a more recent purchase about 18 months ago. We went from 2+ hours to about 15 minutes of combing out the hair after bath. (When I was much younger someone bought me an electric detangler, so when I saw this, I just went for it.)

To keep hair from tangling, I find using progressively finer and finer combs all the way down to a lice comb keeps the hair tangle free almost all day long.

tobikay, are you combing her hair only after shampooing or every day? My daughter still has a problem with wanting to comb it regularly. I found that combing out the hair at night really helped with keeping the amount of tangles at bay.

On my hair, I found for wet brushing the Goody Ouchless brush seems to work better then my wooden comb for the first combing after a shampoo.

I never found the sprays to be of much help. I found the leave in conditioner like Paul Mitchel worked well. Later I discovered the Abba leave in conditioner.

I like the L'Oreal for kids shampoos. Fine hair or pool one. There are a few that my daughter likes. She loves the watermelon smell for thick and curly hair. This is not the best one for her hair.

Once the hair was tangle free, rinse out the conditioner. I found that to much conditioner would make the hair tangle more.

My DD at 11 only keeps her hair tied back for school or playing sports. Even swimming in the pool is down with hair flowing everywhere.

(I understand cutting is not an option for you, my DD hair was hardly ever cut.) I cut my DD's bangs at about 7 months to get it out of her eyes. (She was born with long flowing hair.) At about age 3, I then would cut it when ever the hair would be so long that it went into the toilet. I would cut it in secret while she was playing in the bath. (Very short trims.) When she was a baby I found there was a section of her head (near her nape) that did not have as much hair. This same section later on had hair that always tangled. Sometimes I cut that section of hair off. That hair did not even feel like the rest of her hair. Now all her hair feels the same. She did cut it once for locks of love.

I found the newer elastic with no metal, that do not slip, do not make as much of a mess in her hair.

If her hair is dry, try giving it a bit of oil. Maybe try a bit of oil instead of conditioner depending on your daughter's hair type.

My daughter now goes weeks without washing. Brushing and combing is still an issue, but the constant tangles has greatly improved. For everyday brushing, for both myself and my DD's hair I like the Goody boar bristle brush with two types of bristles. I think it is called the so smooth brush. I think we have the round cushion style. It is not a square paddle shape. I just wish I could find a smaller shape for my purse. I have a 100% boar bristle goody brush about 1 inch wide. I find it hard to use on my hair. Maybe not enough oils. My DD does not want to use it at all.

Hugs to both of you.

I hope that helps.

[angelthadiva]

I feel you pain too, DD6 has waist length hair and it's curly, and she likes to wear her hair loose...However, she dislikes tangles (we call them rats) more...I've finally convinced her that when her hair is secure, it won't tangle...This was a daily struggle for most of the school year...I'd send her to school with her hair done, only for her to come home with it undone (she was taking it down)...

When you have some more posts (and are off restrictions) check out DD's photo album. :flower:

[tobikay]

LOL...off restrictions...feel like I am grounded! I have clicked on so many links only to find that I am no worthy of viewing the content...boo boo!

(honestly, I am just wineing, I understand the restriction for saftey in this scary internet world)

[Rain]

Detangling sprays were about as effective as water for my kids. Wish I had known about coconut oil when they were young so...I suggest coconut oil. :)

[tobikay]

Thanks for all the responses...good to see that we are all in a simular boat.

I try to brush her hair, or encourage her to brush it, a few times a day, but often it is an ordeal. The issue with the left side of her head I think that she plays with her hair on that side...and what is it with the nape of the neck??? seems like a common problem.

Her hair is so thick that the detangling sprays don't even touch the problem, but the idea to comb it with thick conditioner in it then rinse is a great on, I think that I will try that. I also think that we are on the edge of going CO mostly (I really want to go no-poo for me, but I am scared to take that leap with her hair).

Looks like the next few years will be lots of braiding variations...off to master the 5+ stand braiding...

[tobikay]

Coconut oil...I saw that in the grocery the other day, it was pretty cheap (as far a hair product goes)...will get some soon for both of us.

[MeMyselfandI]

Thanks for all the responses...good to see that we are all in a simular boat.

I try to brush her hair, or encourage her to brush it, a few times a day, but often it is an ordeal. The issue with the left side of her head I think that she plays with her hair on that side...and what is it with the nape of the neck??? seems like a common problem.

Her hair is so thick that the detangling sprays don't even touch the problem, but the idea to comb it with thick conditioner in it then rinse is a great on, I think that I will try that. I also think that we are on the edge of going CO mostly (I really want to go no-poo for me, but I am scared to take that leap with her hair).

Looks like the next few years will be lots of braiding variations...off to master the 5+ stand braiding...

tobikay,

The left side hair, is your daughter playing with it because it feels different, or is it different because she plays with it.

I would suggest a spot treatment of leave in conditioner or coconut oil that section so it feels more like the rest of the hair. That section may need just a bit more attention the the rest of her hair.

[dontcallmejessi]

I second the oil. Both my dd's have tangly hair. one super curly, one straight, both tangly. I can sure tell a huge difference when i use a bit of jojoba oil while their hair is still damp. Major improvement!

[Rapunzelwannabe]

I know that I'm probably not the best authority, not having dealt with 6yr olds in a parental format, but I know that being told the reason for something being a certain way went a long way to make me do what I was asked when I was a kid. Maybe explaining that braids or ponytails keep tangles away (perhaps while untangling them) it might be more of an incentive to have her keep her updos in all day.

[danacc]

If you think she might be taking the up-do's down on purpose, I wonder if they might be hurting her head. Kids (as well as adults) can get an achy scalp from the placement of an up-do. Some scalps are much more sensitive to this than others. Also, at tailbone length, particularly with thick hair, the heaviness of the up-do increases the chance that it will pull more in some places than others, which can cause pain. Talk to her about which styles do and which styles don't stay comfortable all day.

And yes, nape tangles are common. My experience is that they are even more of a problem at night than they are during the day. I'm not sure how she sleeps with it. You can try loose braiding in a single braid or 2, or a loose bun on the top of her head, maybe with a silk sleep cap over it. Containing the hair at night will cut down on tangles, too.

[tobikay]

She does love to shake her hair around when we take it down, says that it feel sooo good, and I can relate.

[Molster]

Perhaps she has been be teased at school for having 'up-do's', so that's why they are mysteriously being taken down. Also when kids play, she probably feels more 'special' with her hair flowing around - the fairy princess effect.

Is she interested in ballet or horses? Could you do braided buns or similar "like a ballerina" or "ready for the gymkhana" which might encourage her to keep it in?

My god-daughter's mother has a similar battle with my god-daughter's hair, which has never been cut (GD is 3), but by using stories with role models and characters who wear their hair up, or styling dolly's hair in plaits and buns, little one is more inclined to want the same in her hair, so there's rarely any fuss about having hair tucked away all day.