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Kayla Nyx
October 19th, 2011, 08:31 PM
..and I got a lot of negative reactions to them :(

I started the day off wearing the woven bun, and my friend Lori really, really liked them. She poked and prodded at them, saying how she was happy I finally wore them to school after telling her so much about the LHC.
I went to my locker to get things for my first class, and I overheard two boys as they walked past me while I dug for my books.

"She's wearing sticks in her hair?!? God, that's so weird..!!"

I was instantly a little ashamed.. and quickly pulled the pins out and let my hair down for about half the day. Until I saw Lori again.

Lori started yelling at me, saying how they were just idiots and they just didn't see how intricate and beautiful the bun was. (her words, not mine :D ) and then hold me hostage from getting food until I put my hair back up.. It was then in a chinese bun the rest of the day.

I overheard a couple more comments that made me want to go hide in the bathroom, but I had to remember, Lori would probably kick my butt if I took it down again :D So, I'm just feeling a little low about my hair, and wishing people understood and appreciated ling hair here..

sarahramen
October 19th, 2011, 08:35 PM
aww, I'm so sorry that happened to you! those boys were so rude, i'm sure your hair looked awesome. Keep wearing them and eventually you'll get those in awe comments on how you keep all of your hair up with one stick. besides who want to look like everyone else anyways :)

Mairéad
October 19th, 2011, 08:37 PM
People in that age group can be mean at times. You can't let it get to you. Many don't understand personal style.

luthein
October 19th, 2011, 08:39 PM
Aww, it sounds like you have a really cool friend. My coworkers know me as "the girl who never wears her hair down" and some women find it weird. I'm also the "scrunchinator" since I wear scrunchies. =)

I'm sure your hair and sticks are beautiful.

krissykins
October 19th, 2011, 09:03 PM
Aww :grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear that you had to deal with some stupid jerks. Be proud of how awesome your sticks are!

Oh, and who said being weird was a bad thing? :p

redmj
October 19th, 2011, 09:10 PM
Honey, I'm so sorry you had a rough day. Just remember they are teenage boys.. they wouldn't know normal (or cute or fashion or anything else useful) if they fell over it. They also don't know how to complement someone to save their life. At least they noticed enough to comment at all. So, be proud of your hair and your sticks.

Animae
October 19th, 2011, 09:14 PM
High school boys are mostly stupid. Very very stupid. Every once and a while there is a smart one, but frankly I'm almost 30 and I'm still waiting for the guys to be less stupid.

I'm sure that your bun looked super pretty with the hair sticks, and Bugger the boys at your school, wear your hair to please yourself, remember the LHC motto- I'm not here to decorate your world.

lizdini
October 19th, 2011, 09:19 PM
I would never go back to high school. Not even if you paid me. Sorry this happened, but if it's any consolation, I'm sure there were people admiring your hair, but you didn't hear / notice them. Do what you want, be proud. Don't worry about idiot boys.

ElusiveMuse
October 19th, 2011, 09:24 PM
I am a little uncomfortable about saying all teenage boys are stupid and fashion-challenged. I knew some amazing, brilliant, fashion forward boys in high school.

Clearly, however, these particular boys are a little immature (stupid is unfair).

I know it's easy for people to say to just ignore them and to do what you like but to tell you the truth, it really truly does not matter what they think. You find this out much later, but in the mean time I hope you will consider that so many of us know it to be true.

archel
October 19th, 2011, 09:40 PM
High school is a great time to start learning to assert your individuality! You'll spend the rest of your life hearing people say they don't like things about you and the sooner you learn to either think or even say "Yeah, I don't care what you like, I do this because *I* like it," the sooner you'll be on the road to being happy! People still say things to me about either my hair, my makeup, my glasses (lots of negative comments on those and they're AWESOME), etc...and I'm like "yeah ok. Don't care." :-D

Also, think of it this way. Would those stupid boys have noticed you if you weren't sporting something completely unique? Better to be looked over than to be overlooked, dear. :)

Grillz
October 19th, 2011, 09:43 PM
I'm sorry you had a rough day :( but on the bright side, your friend Lori is a real keeper! Definitely keep friends like her who raise you up instead of tearing you down. Like lizdini said, there were probably many many people admiring your cool hair, but they weren't as vocal as the big mouths. Sometimes kids say things just to say things, whether they mean them or not. It's whatever sounds "coolest."
Stay strong, girl!

MsBubbles
October 19th, 2011, 09:45 PM
I have the feeling you are going to start a craze at your high school!

High schoolers like to pick on anything visible, good, bad or indifferent. Don't take it personally.

darklyndsea
October 19th, 2011, 09:50 PM
I feel so old now. When I was in high school, hair sticks were popular.

And hey, you can't please everybody, so don't worry about the opinions of the people who you don't really care about. (I'd say don't worry about anybody's opinion but your own, but, well, that's a bit harder.)

Slinks
October 19th, 2011, 09:52 PM
Hey Kayla :-) it's like that the first time people see/wear them .. you have to get used to wearing them, they have to get used to seeing them .. it's like that with EVERYTHING !! if you've never worn jeans and nobody has ever seen you in them, you're uncomfortable and so are they - likewise, the very first time you wear a dress or skirt or bikini, anything .. you and your enviroment have to get used to it :-)

Keep doing what you like, they'll all get used to it and eventually see it for what it is, a beautiful hair style rather than the non-norm .. that's all it is ..

Kayla Nyx
October 19th, 2011, 09:54 PM
thanks everyone :) tomorrow ill just do a simple half up with something shiny :crush: but then ill do the sticks the next day, on my birthday!! :D

Vanille_
October 19th, 2011, 09:56 PM
I feel so old now. When I was in high school, hair sticks were popular.

And hey, you can't please everybody, so don't worry about the opinions of the people who you don't really care about. (I'd say don't worry about anybody's opinion but your own, but, well, that's a bit harder.)

I'm about the same age as you. I walked into Clairs the other day looking for hair sticks, only to find NONE. Apparently they went out of style. When we were in school, I remember them carrying so many.

OP, I wouldn't be surprised if you find some girls start wearing them :)

Mythica
October 19th, 2011, 10:59 PM
Oh ouch! How mean.
Well, like MsBubbles said, (Edit: some) high schoolers pick on or at everything and anything different. My experience as a teenager was that the self-described open-minded kids were often (not always, but often) the first to decry anything that veered from their idea of what was right and "normal." It might just be part of going through that age, I guess. :shrug:

But hey, you looked fabulous. :flower: To quote Coco Chanel:
“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.”

Also, happy birthday in advance! :D

ravenreed
October 19th, 2011, 11:05 PM
Haha! I liked the bolded part very much. One of the gifts of getting older is you realize how short life is and how silly it is to try to please everyone. Your true friends won't care about how you look and the ones who do, probably aren't worth your time.



High school is a great time to start learning to assert your individuality! You'll spend the rest of your life hearing people say they don't like things about you and the sooner you learn to either think or even say "Yeah, I don't care what you like, I do this because *I* like it," the sooner you'll be on the road to being happy! People still say things to me about either my hair, my makeup, my glasses (lots of negative comments on those and they're AWESOME), etc...and I'm like "yeah ok. Don't care." :-D

Also, think of it this way. Would those stupid boys have noticed you if you weren't sporting something completely unique? Better to be looked over than to be overlooked, dear. :)

Slinks
October 19th, 2011, 11:18 PM
thanks everyone :) tomorrow ill just do a simple half up with something shiny :crush: but then ill do the sticks the next day, on my birthday!! :D

oh well in that case happy birthday to you - a few days early !!


http://www.all4phones.de/attachments/28088d1250863818-handy-bilder-gifs-verschiedene-formate-happy-birthday.gif

racrane
October 19th, 2011, 11:43 PM
Aw, a Happy early Birthday to you! And yeah, high school students can be cruel. But it sounds like you have a lovely friend and you can pull the look off so go ahead and wear your hair sticks! :)

Maverick494
October 20th, 2011, 12:42 AM
Your friend Lori is right. I'm happy that she doesn't give you the opportunity to let those comments influence you too much. Ignore them, take a deep breath and wear your hair as you like.

I can understand how this is easier said than done thouhg. I was severely bullied in highschool. People picked on me because of how I looked, how I dressed, and my hair. I had TB hair at the time and the bullies convinced me to chop it all off because it looked "ridiculous". I ended up regretting it ofcourse and later learned that the girls who said it was ugly were actually jealous. I felt so stupid for giving in to their stupid opinions that I vowed never to let it get to me again. Once you stop caring and carry yourself that way life gets much easier, trust me.

Follow your friend's example and wear those sticks again. Be proud of it too. When people comment or ask why, simply tell them: "Because I like the way it looks and last time I checked I didn't ask for your opinion. I could tell you what I don't like about how you look, but I don't because you didn't ask me and because I'm a nice person who lets people wear what they want without feeling the need to be negative about it."

or you could always quote Braveheart: :D "who speaks to me as though I needed his advice?"

Sookie
October 20th, 2011, 12:53 AM
Hey don't worry! I go to high school too...so i know all about those rude comments that come especially from boys. First time i wore my hair in a chinese bun after 5 minutes i stepped into the class i heard 3 boys telling me '' Hey what happened to your head? Did had an accident? '' They meant that i was a character from a horror movie that had a stick in her head. Haha it's funny now that i remember it. Although i was really disturbed and i make a thread here in LHC too :p :D
So i learned that i am a little bit different from the normal. I don't like to follow the fashion...instead creating mine. My own individual style that expresses who i am. Since i understoond it i have been ingoring all rude comments. And suddenly they stopped.
Oh before two weeks my teacher commented on my hair stick. She leaughed saying that it was like a cannibals bone. I also laughed. Ok she can't understand. It is like when i laugh with other people...i can not understand them.

AnqeIicDemise
October 20th, 2011, 01:09 AM
Honey, high school kids, for the most part, are idiots.

I mean, you're talking about teenage boys who are easily impressed on the amount of spitwads the get stuck on the ceiling and girls whose idea of beauty is by ritualistically waking up at 5 am every morning to wash and fry their hair while slapping on trowel fulls of make up before they head to school. These same girls often reapply their layers of make up through out the day to the point where they can scrape it off with a spoon at night. (My sister was one of these girls, btw.)

These are also the same kids who think its the end of the world, if, omg, they lose reception on their phones!

Now, most of the girls that made fun of me in high school for having morals (and being superbly shy around men to boot) already have their second or are working on their third kid. One of the girls who made me cry every day Freshman year graduated while 4 months pregnant.

My point is, the majority of high school students are extremely immature and have their priorities in a whacked out order. Eventually they'll mature and will look back at their teenage years in sheer shock. I'm willing to bet that one of these guys will wind up falling in love with a girl who wears hair sticks or has a little girl who'll wear even weirder stuff.

With that said, brush your shoulders, smack that insecurity upside the head and link your arm with Lori as it seems she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. You two make an amazing team.

ETA: I did not want to say all girls who fall victim to Fashion's standards are sluts or anything. Just that they're often immature and have their priorities all wrong. I do ave friends from HS who were once enemies and we all laugh at how stuck up and shallow they were-- and how obnoxiously weird I was (i.e. I marched to the beat of my own drum.) and it unnerved them. Its been almost ten years since we graduated and out of all of them, I am the one who has changed the least. I knew early on who I was. These ladies had a lot of searching before they settled into their grown up attitude.

Barniie
October 20th, 2011, 01:25 AM
Same happened here :( All my friends keep telling me it's weird to wear sticks in your hair and just take it out. Except unlike you, EVERYONE hated mine :(

pepperminttea
October 20th, 2011, 02:09 AM
High school's the hardest place to be yourself. If you can manage it there, you can manage it anywhere. :) Stay strong.

julliams
October 20th, 2011, 02:56 AM
If you love your hairsticks and if you love the way they look in your hair then YES you should definitely wear then and rock them!! It sounds like Lori is a very supportive and brilliant friend - stick with her!!! If however you are wearing them because Lori thinks you should, then I would suggest wearing something you feel more comfortable with for a couple of days until you feel ready to get them out again.

I'm sure you weren't the only one on the end of nasty comments that day - I'm sure those same people dished out a serve to many others who equally went home and felt crappy about it. So, if it were me (many years ago), and my hairsticks were important to me (a self-expression), then I would continue to wear them and I might actually have liked it if most others didn't like them because it would mean that I wasn't just doing what everyone else was doing.

ETA: Just wanted to add that one of my closest friends in high school was also named Lori and she was also a level-headed brilliant supportive friend. In fact, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have put in my form to apply for University because I was having a grumpy "couldn't be bothered" day and she made sure that I put it in and I was accepted!!! Go Loris'!!

Alaia
October 20th, 2011, 04:27 AM
Pay no attention, any high school student who is having these reactions.

For every person that says they're weird, there are another 5-10 who are thinking "Actually I think they look fabulous."

The difference is that everyone wants to fit in and be the same as everyone else, so if one person says they're weird, nobody else is going to chirp up and say they're nice.

OP, thank goodness for your friend Lori! She's a keeper.

FallGirl
October 20th, 2011, 04:49 AM
I agree with everything said here. And when I was in junior high there was this girl who totally hated me for no reason. One day I was sitting in class, Industrial Arts(Shop class) and she walked over with a pair of scissors and cut off a chunk of my hair. Awful.

cheetahfast
October 20th, 2011, 05:16 AM
Aww, it sounds like you have a really cool friend. My coworkers know me as "the girl who never wears her hair down" and some women find it weird. I'm also the "scrunchinator" since I wear scrunchies. =)

I'm sure your hair and sticks are beautiful.

This reminds me of me! The other day I was talking to my co-worker about her new haircut and color. She went from APL to a short bob. At some point in the conversation we started talking about my hair and she said "your hair is really long" then she paused an though for a minute and said "Wait, I've actually never seen you with your hair down." Then I told her it touches inbetween my shoulder blades, a couple inches away from my brastrap and she said "that's long." I still feel like I have short hair.

To the OP, for the comments at school I would say ignore them. People will get used to seeing you wear them and they will get over it. Plus most boys do not understand many things women do. Your friend is right you should keep them in!! She sounds like a gem and supportive friend :)

Kayla Nyx
October 20th, 2011, 08:58 AM
thanks everyone. All of you advice and such kinda words helped a lot. I can say I WILL most deffinently wear my hairsticks tomorrow. And if anyone has issues with them, they can kiss my butt, because it'll be my birthday :D

Memza
October 20th, 2011, 09:29 AM
Happy Birthday, I am sure you looked wonderful! :cake:
If you still feel uncomfortable wearing sticks to school try a bun with just one.
Despite wearing one to school almost every day no one ever commented on mine until I wore two at once, possibly because it has a more chopstick like appearance.
Otherwise, just ignore people. They will get bored eventually.

NotInPortland
October 20th, 2011, 10:02 AM
People around your age tend to be hostile and rude about things outside the norm and seen as 'uncool' (not by any means everyone that age but in my experience those mid teen years are the worst for it, especially in the school setting), and I would imagine hair sticks fall well outside the norm of what you'd normally see around school. Grow a thick skin and don't worry about it, you no doubt looked awesome and it's nice to look a bit different and rock your own look don't you think :D

heidi w.
October 20th, 2011, 10:10 AM
You're 15. Just because others have never seen it, doesn't mean it's wrong. It takes true guts at this age to ignore this kind of commentary. When you get a bit older, it'll get better. It takes time to develop a thick skin, and ignore people.

You might consider shouting back, "I can hear you." without looking at them.
ETA: OR consider, "What just fell out of your mouth isn't very attractive." But beware of making yourself a target, and a kind of power game focus. END ETA

LOL. That may shut them up. Or it may increase the harassment. You know best.

I find some hairsticks are a bit too long to be worn reasonably in public. I find that a hairstick looks best when it's adorned at the top with some kind of interesting design.

You might consider using a pencil at some point, and then at test time remove the pencil and swish your lovely tresses around. So they'll flunk and you pass. Oh, mean mean me.

I tend to dislike hairstick ends poking out, and for this, I sometimes wear two hairsticks that match on either side inserted into an updo and it looks, then, slightly Asian-ish. Kind of interesting to look at. It looks more complete to me.

I have one hairstick that I use for job interviews, and it's quite short and topped with a decorative bead, and black in color, mostly, so you can't see the stick sticking out the sides of the head, really.

I think you ought to stick with sticks if you like them. Probably best to ignore the commentary, and make hairsticks kind of your unique style. Later on you'll be asked about how you do it.

Teenage boys are most annoying. They don't understand the err of their ways. They just don't get it. Remember, you don't exist to decorate their world.

heidi w.

moxamoll
October 20th, 2011, 10:30 AM
Being a teenager is all about being insecure. Your body is changing, your mind is changing, everything is confusing and what do we do? Look a whole bunch of teenagers up together all day with nothing but each other and tv as role models. :brickwall

Of course the temptation then is to conform without thought. Who wants to stand out when all you feel is confused? And if you can't stand out, then how dare anyone else be confident enough to do something different?

It will absolutely not be easy, but stick to your guns and be yourself! Gather around you like minded people like your friend and don't worry about the rest. High school feels all encompassing while you're there (no surprise!) but afterwards, you realize how small a part of your whole life it will be. Wear your hairsticks, hold your head up and know you'll be able to look back and be proud of yourself!

EDIT: I almost forgot! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :magic

gretchen_hair
October 20th, 2011, 10:52 AM
Boys especially at that age are like that.

You wear pants to school....*she's weird*

You wear a skirt to school...*she's weird*

You wear a hat to school.....*she's weird*

I wouldn't put much stock into how people think you look or what you wear, it's all about what YOU want and like.



People in that age group can be mean at times. You can't let it get to you. Many don't understand personal style.

ElusiveMuse
October 20th, 2011, 11:04 AM
I'm surprised with figures like Lady Gaga being so mainstream that kids think any habit of dress is 'weird' any more.

Hell, in high school I wore giant butterflies on my head as hats and floor length vintage gowns and used lipstick as eyeliner and glitter on my eyes when there wasn't red eyeliner or glitter make up in droves at every mall beauty shop. And my hair was decidedly purple.

I assume people talked about how weird I was but I can't be sure because they never had the guts to say it to my face. Or maybe they did and I don't remember.

Point being, I loved my giant butterfly on my head and that's what I remember about high school. Not the possible ensuing commentary from the peanut gallery.

So, I hope you rocked your sticks again!

gthlvrmx
October 20th, 2011, 11:21 AM
Imagine being a guy with hairsticks? Good thing no one dared to mess with me :p Just be confident with them!! And dont care about what people say.
Just imagine-you're a 15. After wearing your sticks until the end of senior year, you will have the healthiest longest hair around!! All the other girls will have damaged hair that will most likely be chopped over and over again.

Jessykins
October 20th, 2011, 11:40 AM
i think its the fact that maybe not that many people wear hair sticks at school, ill be honest where i live ive not seen anyone wear any. the more you wear them the more people will get used to it. i once went to the shops with my hair braided backwards and pinned the tail to my head in a circle ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu0yPTHuCcs ) just for a laugh, once you stop feeling self concious its fine :)

thestookem
October 20th, 2011, 02:51 PM
Imagine being a guy with hairsticks? Good thing no one dared to mess with me :p Just be confident with them!! And dont care about what people say.
Just imagine-you're a 15. After wearing your sticks until the end of senior year, you will have the healthiest longest hair around!! All the other girls will have damaged hair that will most likely be chopped over and over again.


I'm glad I am not the only male wearing hair sticks in public, and I haven't had anyone say anything negative to me about it as well.


High school is a very rough time for just about everyone, but trust me life gets better as you get older. Keep wearing hair sticks I know how fun they can be.

AngelDella
October 20th, 2011, 05:29 PM
This is what I told my children over and over: High school is just a drop in the bucket of your whole life. It is important though, and you are developing a strong character that will make you very successful throughout your life. You just keep being yourself! You won't regret that :) And keep those friends who love you for who you are and just ignore those kids who just want to be like everyone else. I can tell that you are a strong young woman. Just wake up and face each day remembering that...and before you know it, school will be history and you will be appreciated by your peers, AND you will wonder what the big deal was back in high school. Hang in there! Life is good :)

coffinhert
October 20th, 2011, 06:46 PM
What I wish I had told myself when I started highschool:

People in highschool are so mean. Do what you want to make you happy and ignore them. After you graduate you won't see them anymore and it won't matter what they think. I didn't find my group of best friends until my early 20s. During adulthood, chances are you'll be a way happyer person than the people who are throwing out insults now. Think how much negativity they have inside them, and how that will affect their futures and families. People who are nice tend to lead happier lives in the long term, it's a fact.

coffinhert
October 20th, 2011, 06:50 PM
If someone teased me like that now, as an adult, I'd say something like "You're just jealous that I'm more awesome than you." and then if they said something mean back, I'd say "Go **** yourself" and walk away. That way you get the last word, and bullies hate it when you stand up for yourself. That's just what I'd do, you should do what you think is best.