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View Full Version : Hair is not looking good - suggestions wanted.



Lilli
October 13th, 2011, 09:17 PM
I know a picture would be good in a thread like this, but everyone is asleep.

I have not cut my hair in 1.5 years, and I have not used any heat tools for about 1 year. My hair is now below APL. It is 1c/F/i. I have just undergone a major shed. I have breakage from about jaw down because that old hair was flatironed a lot when I was growing out a short bob.

It just doesn't look good. It looks straggly, unkempt and thin. Part of the problem is that the hair in the back is growing in 2c, but the front and canopy are still 1c, so it never looks neat (it would if I blew it dry, but I don't want to damage it further.) I need cones or I cannot comb it, but cones make it lank and build up and make it crunchy. Then clarifying them out dries it out, even with a deep moisture treatment afterward.

I sleep on a silk pillowcase, but even with that, I am unable to stretch washes, because I wake up with weird bends and kinks that brushing does not remove. The same thing happens with updos - I end up with weird bends and swoops that only washing can remove, plus, I cannot find a comfortable updo for an entire day (very sensitive scalp.) Thus, I wash every day to remove all the kinks and bumps from sleeping or updos. I know many people here stretch washes, but how do I do that if I cannot conceal it in an updo? I don't really want long hair if I cannot wear it down.

I did make an appointment with a gentle and trusted stylist for a trim, since it has been so long. I hope that helps, but I need more ideas on how to rehab my hair. Any suggestions?

spidermom
October 13th, 2011, 09:26 PM
Wetting down without washing doesn't work? How about using a little conditioner (but not washing)?

I think you will be happiest if you commit to a regular schedule of small trims. Eventually the old, damaged hairs will be gone, then you can really enjoy your hair.

P.S. - I've got the crazy mixed up hair thing going on, too. I'd type mine 1C/2C.

P.S. - You're hair looks pretty in your album.

growingpains
October 14th, 2011, 01:47 AM
I think you have awesome hair! It looks so good in your albums! Get a trim, you will feel better. Also, try a leave in with cones for the ends but cone free conditioner in the shower.

tablecloth
October 14th, 2011, 02:07 AM
I suggest you get a hair treatment, that doesn't include medicine.

xoxophelia
October 14th, 2011, 02:44 AM
Ah I have a few suggestions for you! :)

First off, maybe get a light conditioner like VO5 so you can CO every other day or as frequently as you like. Less shampoo=less damage.

As far as the texture goes, I would suggest braid waves or bun waves from one bun or multiple small buns. You can do two french braids on slightly wet hair before going to bed and then have even waves (just make sure you braid all the way to the very tip)

A single braid is a good updo if you have a sensitive scalps.

Beyond that, you may be happier if you go for a 1-2" trim if it has been so long since a cut.

luxepiggy
October 14th, 2011, 02:55 AM
What if you were to get a misting bottle that you can use to wet down your hair without actually washing it?

xoxophelia
October 14th, 2011, 02:56 AM
Just wanted to add it here incase others don't check your photos, but your hair is pretty! I was expecting it to look as bad as mine does something XD

naereid
October 14th, 2011, 05:06 AM
I second the misting bottle advice. My hair also gets those kinks, but that only means I have to hide them by putting it back in a bun/braid instead of wearing it loose.

Hopefully the trim will even up your ends a bit and make you feel better. :)

kidari
October 14th, 2011, 06:22 AM
I just saw your pics oh my gosh your hair is so pretty! I know what you mean because I go through that too. My hair grows kind of fast but it gets really thin in the ends very fast. My texture is not so nice and I have to work with it. I suggest setting it in a uniform curl pattern with the heatless method of your choice or using really coney products on the ends to help smooth everything out and make it sleek. Also, a trim will make it all better. I'm in the minority but I just wash it daily and I trim it monthly. If I'm growing it out I will go 2-3 months without trimming the ends but even then I may do a microtrim where it looks like I only cut 30 pieces of hairs that are all no longer than 1mm in length. It does help. As for updos, I'm no help there. But diluting some conditioner in a mister bottle really helps with restyling as well as for updos.

Lilli
October 14th, 2011, 09:22 AM
Wetting down without washing doesn't work? How about using a little conditioner (but not washing)?

I think you will be happiest if you commit to a regular schedule of small trims. Eventually the old, damaged hairs will be gone, then you can really enjoy your hair.

P.S. - I've got the crazy mixed up hair thing going on, too. I'd type mine 1C/2C.

P.S. - You're hair looks pretty in your album.

Thank you. I see that everyone has suggested re-wetting/mister bottle, but I thought you said before that it is the getting it wet that is the problem? That's why I have not tried rewetting or misting, because I thought if I am going to damage it by getting it wet, I might as well just wash it and have the fresh smell and feeling.


I think you have awesome hair! It looks so good in your albums! Get a trim, you will feel better. Also, try a leave in with cones for the ends but cone free conditioner in the shower.

Thank you! My hair only knots at the roots/scalp. I don't want to put a coney leave-in there because it will be really greasy, so I use a coney shampoo so at least it rinses out. Otherwise I cannot comb my hair at all.


Ah I have a few suggestions for you! :)

First off, maybe get a light conditioner like VO5 so you can CO every other day or as frequently as you like. Less shampoo=less damage.

As far as the texture goes, I would suggest braid waves or bun waves from one bun or multiple small buns. You can do two french braids on slightly wet hair before going to bed and then have even waves (just make sure you braid all the way to the very tip)

A single braid is a good updo if you have a sensitive scalps.

Beyond that, you may be happier if you go for a 1-2" trim if it has been so long since a cut.

Thank you. I will check out CO and will also try the braiding to even out the texture. In the past, I have had a body-wave perm, which I liked, but it is too damaging. This is a good idea, though.


What if you were to get a misting bottle that you can use to wet down your hair without actually washing it?

Another vote for a misting bottle... I'll definitely get one!


Just wanted to add it here incase others don't check your photos, but your hair is pretty! I was expecting it to look as bad as mine does something XD

Thank you, but those photos are several months old. It has only started looking crappy recently.

andrea1982
October 14th, 2011, 11:25 AM
Your hair looks lovely in your album, perhaps you just need a trim? Some people can get away with non- trimming.. I am not one of them. My hair starts to feel dry and damaged if I wait longer than about 6 months.

CarpeDM
October 14th, 2011, 11:54 AM
I always feel better after a good trim, somehow that changes everything and makes my hair behave better...

heidi w.
October 14th, 2011, 01:28 PM
Seems you lack some info.

One thing I've learned from LHC is that one head of hair can have mixes of hair type on the same head.

However, that stated, hair does grow thickest from the top of the head at back and down; the sides grow a bit thinner for most people. This is NORMAL.

The bends you speak of. I went through that. I only got them out with wetting that patch of hair.

You may need some updo help, too. If you can get to a long hair meeting, it could be helpful to you. Lots of people share info and experiences. Usually at a given meeting, there's at least one really experienced person there.

A trim sounds reasonable. But give a measurement of how much you want removed; otherwise if you leave it vague, as a "trim" you might get much more removed than you were thinking. It does happen. It happened to me once. So much was removed, I was pretty upset. My hair guru told me how salon stylists are trained to think when they hear "trim please". Things are changing now, but different stylists respond differently.

I wish I could see a picture, I might then have more specific suggestions.

heidi w.

teal
October 14th, 2011, 01:51 PM
Not all updos have to be painful (none should be!). There are some that spread the weight over a larger area. I think these are popular with the folks who have exceptionally long hair, but the principles should apply to you too.

You could also try wrapping your hair to make it straight, or maybe plopping if you want to see more waves.

Ermine
October 14th, 2011, 01:56 PM
I know a picture would be good in a thread like this, but everyone is asleep.

I have not cut my hair in 1.5 years, and I have not used any heat tools for about 1 year. My hair is now below APL. It is 1c/F/i. I have just undergone a major shed. I have breakage from about jaw down because that old hair was flatironed a lot when I was growing out a short bob.

It just doesn't look good. It looks straggly, unkempt and thin. Part of the problem is that the hair in the back is growing in 2c, but the front and canopy are still 1c, so it never looks neat (it would if I blew it dry, but I don't want to damage it further.) I need cones or I cannot comb it, but cones make it lank and build up and make it crunchy. Then clarifying them out dries it out, even with a deep moisture treatment afterward.

I sleep on a silk pillowcase, but even with that, I am unable to stretch washes, because I wake up with weird bends and kinks that brushing does not remove. The same thing happens with updos - I end up with weird bends and swoops that only washing can remove, plus, I cannot find a comfortable updo for an entire day (very sensitive scalp.) Thus, I wash every day to remove all the kinks and bumps from sleeping or updos. I know many people here stretch washes, but how do I do that if I cannot conceal it in an updo? I don't really want long hair if I cannot wear it down.

I did make an appointment with a gentle and trusted stylist for a trim, since it has been so long. I hope that helps, but I need more ideas on how to rehab my hair. Any suggestions?

Woah, you're my almost hair twin! I'd agree with everyone else and say that you should be trimming a little more often. At least with my fine hair, I've been as nice to it as I can, combing it gently, no heat styling, etc. but still started seeing white dots after a few months of not trimming. I have an idea for the cone problem as well. This may or may not work for you, but it's worth a shot. My hair has been more manageable using coney shampoo and cone free conditioner (lots of it!). It's more manageable and shiny but not limp or crunchy. It has also helped smooth out my stubborn kinks a bit.

Also, I'd try blowdrying your hair on the cool setting. I also can't air dry my hair without it looking similarly unkempt. It's not too damaging just so long as you keep your hair untangled in the process.

luxepiggy
October 14th, 2011, 02:01 PM
Thank you. I see that everyone has suggested re-wetting/mister bottle, but I thought you said before that it is the getting it wet that is the problem? That's why I have not tried rewetting or misting, because I thought if I am going to damage it by getting it wet, I might as well just wash it and have the fresh smell and feeling.

While hygral fatigue (repeated sorption & desorption of water) can cause some damage over time, it's the washing process itself that is the most damaging. When the hair fibers are rubbed against each other in the presence of detergents, the cuticle is susceptible to abrasion.

SpinDance
October 14th, 2011, 02:02 PM
Looking at your album the photo where you show the underside waves mentioned that your hair had been combed and brushed, and still had those waves. I would guess that you are actually much wavier/curlier than you might think. I find it very difficult to do the 'hands off' drying to get a good typing. If you haven't done that, you might consider it. Also, you might want to read up about the curly girl type methods. It isn't only for curlies, it is also for wavies. I think that if I can get my thin ends to thicken up that I may do more curly stuff. (Right now when I do the ends are too thin compared to the rest of it and it just looks weird to me.)

If you are wavy or curly then a brush may not be the best thing for your hair, and may be contributing to the breakage you are reporting. A nice, wide tooth comb, without seams, may help a lot long term. I hadn't realized how much damage the injection molded combs can do before I found LHC. One of the first things I did was ditch all them and replace them with bone, horn, wood or Bakelite. It is a long term thing, since the hairs that have had scales stripped off from brushing or combing won't recover, they have to grow out, but it has been worth it to me.

Lilli
October 15th, 2011, 03:32 PM
Looking at your album the photo where you show the underside waves mentioned that your hair had been combed and brushed, and still had those waves. I would guess that you are actually much wavier/curlier than you might think. I find it very difficult to do the 'hands off' drying to get a good typing. If you haven't done that, you might consider it. Also, you might want to read up about the curly girl type methods. It isn't only for curlies, it is also for wavies. I think that if I can get my thin ends to thicken up that I may do more curly stuff. (Right now when I do the ends are too thin compared to the rest of it and it just looks weird to me.)

If you are wavy or curly then a brush may not be the best thing for your hair, and may be contributing to the breakage you are reporting. A nice, wide tooth comb, without seams, may help a lot long term. I hadn't realized how much damage the injection molded combs can do before I found LHC. One of the first things I did was ditch all them and replace them with bone, horn, wood or Bakelite. It is a long term thing, since the hairs that have had scales stripped off from brushing or combing won't recover, they have to grow out, but it has been worth it to me.

I have tried plopping - doesn't do anything for the top layer. I will get a new comb. I just have a cheap conair one that I'm sure is not good.


While hygral fatigue (repeated sorption & desorption of water) can cause some damage over time, it's the washing process itself that is the most damaging. When the hair fibers are rubbed against each other in the presence of detergents, the cuticle is susceptible to abrasion.

Thank you for explaining.


Woah, you're my almost hair twin! I'd agree with everyone else and say that you should be trimming a little more often. At least with my fine hair, I've been as nice to it as I can, combing it gently, no heat styling, etc. but still started seeing white dots after a few months of not trimming. I have an idea for the cone problem as well. This may or may not work for you, but it's worth a shot. My hair has been more manageable using coney shampoo and cone free conditioner (lots of it!). It's more manageable and shiny but not limp or crunchy. It has also helped smooth out my stubborn kinks a bit.

Also, I'd try blowdrying your hair on the cool setting. I also can't air dry my hair without it looking similarly unkempt. It's not too damaging just so long as you keep your hair untangled in the process.

I considered the coney shampoo and rich conditioner. For now, I am going with mild shampoo and rich conditioner, and if that doesn't help, I'll try what you suggested. Having a richer conditioner helped today. Maybe it's just dried out...