View Full Version : Need Encouragement

October 11th, 2011, 05:25 PM
Not sure how much longer I continue to try and grow my hair. I have been trying since March and now my short hair has grown to shoulders. Problem is, it is so fine,straight and stringy. I can brush my hair using the new boar bristle brush(bought last week) in the bathroom upstairs and walk downstairs and look in that bathroom mirror and it looks like it was never brushed. I know the layers are not helping any. I have been using non SLS shampoo since March also. I don't use conditioner hardly ever. I just want to cry every time I look at this mess. I just don't know what to do.:(

October 11th, 2011, 05:35 PM
Try giving it a bit longer. Shoulder length is the worst. My hair did the same thing around that length, and I hated every moment of it. I've got fine hair, too, and it looked terrible. My hair is very oily so that just made the stringiness that much worse, and I have the same problem with brushing it and then a moment later it looks like a brush never touched it.

But somehow once it gets past that horrible shoulder length and you start edging towards APL, it gets better. I don't know how or why, but I'll take it. :p

October 11th, 2011, 05:36 PM
Keep growing, get regular trims at the bottom, and reserve judgement until the layers have all been grown out.

One way to boost volume is use a little gel or mousse at the roots and hit them for a few minutes with the blow-dryer while hanging toward the floor (bend over, use the cool setting). Also clipping hair up to dry. I used to love the effects of a cinna-bun on the top of my head when my hair was lots shorter (but it's a totally different hair type). Try something like that. Also try to wear your hair up. A peacock twist up the back with a claw clip is pretty easy and comfortable.

October 11th, 2011, 05:44 PM
I completely forgot about that, spidermom. Wearing it up as much as possible so you can try to forget how terrible it looks until it finally all grows out. :p I would never have made it to APL without my trusty claw clip.

Libbylou, it'll work out ok. Just put it up and forget about it for awhile. Your hair will do it's thing, and you'll be past that icky stage before you know it. :)

October 11th, 2011, 05:50 PM
Hang in there Libbylou!
I remember being very frustrated at the beginning of my hair growing journey.
I started focusing more on my new growth rather than my ends. The new growth is so much more beautiful than those ragged ends that I have, still!

It helped me to photograph my hair, then I could see the progress. Oftentimes I really felt out there on my own, as not many people are into wearing updos and braids and oiling their hair!

In time, my hair philosophy changed and my expectations were exceeded.

It does take time. I wasn't really happy with my hair until about a year later, after looking at pictures and realizing how much I changed, not so much physically, but mentally.

Rock what you got, your inner-beauty shines and your hair begin to look so lovely!

Aqua Gal
October 11th, 2011, 05:51 PM
Don't give up! We all have akward lengths where we want to scream. Sometimes it gets much easier if you just hang on a little longer.

At your length I loved half ups. It gave me volume on top and helped keep everything polished. Spidermom always gives the best advice, so I'd give her suggestions a try.

October 11th, 2011, 06:03 PM
I'm there too. Which is why I am doing the wear hair up every day challenge! I'm doing it till xmas, by which time I am hoping copious intakes of peanut butter and following a biotin and hair and nails vitamin regime will have miraculously made my hair long enough to look half decent down.

If it hasn't, I will wear my hair up till next summer. (ok, I admit it's going to be toque season, so nobody will likley see my hair till then anyways but...)

October 11th, 2011, 06:09 PM
I have layers in my hair which looked ok when it was shorter but now that my hair has grown about 8 inches, the layers look weird. I just keep it up all the time. At least until I feel confident enough to chop it to all one length! Both looking forward to and dreading the arrival of that day :p

October 11th, 2011, 06:23 PM
Why not try using conditioner? My hair is a nightmare without it! Also damp oiling with coconut or extra virgin olive oil once a month for 1 hour before washing does wonders to my hair. I just try to use a heavy shampoo to make sure there is no oil left.

I agree with the others, shoulder (specially with layers) it's the awkward in general. Try to keep it up on a bun or braid until it gets longer.

:grouphug: I've been there, it DOES get better! you grew 8 inches since march, that is a HUGE triumph! Think of this as an in between stage, you can keep it at shoulder and just trim it until the layers catch up before growing longer.

Red Rapunzel
October 11th, 2011, 06:31 PM
Yes, shoulder length is the hardest length when growing out hair! I almost didn't make it past that length. Clip it up if you have to. Just promise yourself some more time since you have wanted longer hair for a while. It should get better.

Miss Maisie
October 11th, 2011, 06:43 PM
I'm just past shoulder length, and I swear, from chin to APL is the WORST for me. I hate it so much, so I completely feel your pain. I keep trying new things with my hair (half updos, even if they look a bit scraggly, buns, sad little ponytails, etc), and I'm just sort of biding my time until it gets a little longer.

Also, Spidermom is very wise. Some product at the roots and some flipped over blow drying make me feel a lot better :)

October 11th, 2011, 07:02 PM
I completely forgot about that, spidermom. Wearing it up as much as possible so you can try to forget how terrible it looks until it finally all grows out. :p I would never have made it to APL without my trusty claw clip.

Libbylou, it'll work out ok. Just put it up and forget about it for awhile. Your hair will do it's thing, and you'll be past that icky stage before you know it. :)

Yep! This! :) We all hate our hair at some point darling, just keep your eyes on the prize!

October 11th, 2011, 07:39 PM
Oh geeze, lol, glad to know I haven't hit the worst stage yet! I'm still 2 inches from shoulder and have TONS of layers, and they drive me nuts too, but once I am able to, my hair will be up every day until it gets longer. I think not seeing the mess is the best way to go about it.

I like to go on youtube and watch long hair videos, it gives me encouragement to not cut because if I do then I won't have long pretty hair like them! :D

You CAN do it, your hair WILL look amazing, once you get past the awkward stage, well, it's relatively smooth sailing to your hair goal from there.

October 12th, 2011, 02:42 AM
I want to thank all of you for your comments, feel much better this morning about my hair. I know in my heart that there is someone out there that would love to have my hair. Spidermom, I plan to wear the peacock twist on my next day off. Thank you!!

October 12th, 2011, 03:23 AM
If I was only shampooping and using no conditioner I would want to hack all of my hair off too... :(

I think you need a lovely long SMT

October 12th, 2011, 04:15 AM
Shoulder length is the worst stage to get through if you have fine hair, in my opinion. Also layers in fine hair won't help...:o My hair is also very fine. I once had layers put in as the hair dresser said it would give my hair volume... They were dreadful and took me years to grow out. It looked as though a rat had chewed my hair! Hang in there and get regular mini trims until all of the layers are gone and then braid! ;) That's what I do to get some extra volume. :p :D

October 12th, 2011, 05:09 AM
Hang in there, don't give up!
Your'e in a tough stage (around shoulders was a pain in the a$$ for me too when I started growing...)
Try to be patient, take good care of it and wear it up as much as possible (I know it's not that easy at this length).
In the end it will grow to a more managable length and you'll see it was worth it :)