Long Hair over 40 - a rant and observation

[rapunzelna]

I know this conversation has already been had, but I continue to be amazed at how acquaintances and virtual strangers seem to have no problem telling me what to do with my hair.

This weekend I was at one of those candle parties with a lot of women I didn't know, but there were plenty of us in the over 40 group (I'm now 50) and I think every woman felt compelled to either tell me directly "Once you get over 40 (one woman was kind and said 45) women should have shorter hair", or subtly "I was so happy to have cut my long hair - it gives me so much more freedom, it's easy to care for and very light". Thanks lady, I got the hint. In a few cases, I got the whisper..."I wish I never cut my long hair".

Anyway, what I find interesting is whether it's someone telling me to cut my hair, or those telling me not to, if they don't know me, they all assume that since I'm older, that I've had long hair forever and I'm either afraid to cut it, or I'm bucking the trend and keeping it long.

Actually, I know very well what short hair is like, since I had it from the time I was about 12 until I began my journey to long hair - at age 40! It's now not quite classic length, very straight and black due to my native american heritage. And I have no intention of cutting it and it's long because I want it that way, not because i'm afraid to cut it or bucking any lunatic fashion trend.

Just wondering if any anyone else finds the same assumptions being made.

Cher

[thelittlestdoc]

I think it's a pretty common assumption. I'm young enough that I don't get the "you're too old for long hair" comments, but hair past the shoulders is uncommon enough in my area that people are always telling me I should cut it, how much less work it is blah blah blah.:rolleyes:

[Debra83]

I have had short hair for about two decades. In October 2008, I joined this site to help me stay on focus to grow out my hair from this....

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=2126&pictureid=25591


to this so far...


http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=6238&pictureid=115557


As my hair has gotten longer, my coworkers (the females with shorter hair) are continually suggesting that I cut it shorter. My male clients though, have upped the frequency of asking me out as my hair has gotten longer....and many of them comment that my hair is getting longer as if they like it tone of voice....go figure!!!

I'm growing it out for me....and the man I started dating after I started the growing out process likes it long too!!! (we got engaged Dec 2009).

[jeanniet]

Happily, the town I live in (well, near--I'm rural) bucks convention and older women with longer hair are pretty common here. In fact, in town hair above shoulder length on women 40-60 is relatively uncommon, although the older ladies at church do usually have shorter hair. I often see middle-aged (I mean 40-60) women with waist length hair or longer. So I don't stick out much. In the next city over, though, it's short hair over 40. So definitely the same assumptions there. I enjoy being the rebel. :D

[racrane]

I find people have opinions on all sorts of things - and they're just that, opinions. Your hair is a part of you. No one else lives with your hair.

[FrozenBritannia]

I like the idea of being very old with very long white hair, which I will wear up and look very regal in. :P

[Icialine]

I've noticed that whatever your age long hair usually draws negative comments from women and positive or no comments from men.
I've worked in/for management since I was 24 and whenever I wear my hair down ,I'm sure to hear a woman ask me if I don't find it too provocative and sexy for work or that it takes up too much time -the insinuation being that ,unlike them,I must have a lot of time to waste.
I take it with a salt-shaker of salt because I'm usually one of the most tastefully dressed woman in the building and I remember how the daily washing and blow-drying I had to do when I had short hair in high school took up as much time as a part-time job.

[bbvt]

I see quite a few of these posts about people telling people with long hair to cut their hair, which is weird to me because I have never gotten that. My hair is tail bone length and I don't know if it's just me, or the people I know or where I live, they have always generally just said "You're hair is so long," or will compliment it. I've NEVER EVER had anyone in my life tell me to cut my hair, besides the jokes where my friends who have known me forever would say "I wonder what you would look like with short hair."

I think they are just jealous that you have long hair and didn't fall into the pressure of people telling you to cut it. They probably did because someone told them they were "too old" for long hair.

[Bazinga]

I seem to be living in an area that is even more extreme. The first time I let my hair grow (I was around 15 years old I think) I heard a comment from a woman (I think she was around 45 years old) that once you reach the thirties you should cut your hair because long hair is something for teens and twens. I didn't hear this comment just once and for a short time I really thought this was true. I sometimes need a little longer to realize things.:rolleyes:
I must say having long hair is really not a question of the age, but I now now already (being 25 years old) that once I reach my mid-thirties, my mother is going to ask me when I'm going to cut my hair (she's very conservative in her views sometimes but generally tries to understand and respect my views). Right now she is already starting to say that my hair looks stringy when it is down. :rolleyes: (It does not but my mother doesn't like it when my hair is down :) )

[Slinks]

I'm 47 and growing my hair long for the first time, I've never gone longer than BSL because I'm into fitness and getting my ponytail caught under the armpits was a pain :-) now I english braid and bun it AND I'm letting my natural greys grow thru .. I will rebel !!

I have to admit tho I have not had comments positive or negative from either gender .. other than my family :-) and that's positive ..

[piratejenny]

My grandmother had waist length hair till she died at age 86. She would wear it in braided buns adorned with combs. I remember being completely fascinated when she'd comb and braid her hair. She was a hard working farmer's wife in a small town in rural Germany and I don't think she had much spare time to worry too much about her hair routine but I also think that having long hair was pretty much normal for women of any age back then. I figure since she didn't use to wash it so often and it was up in a braid or bun all the time and often covered by scarfs, long hair was probably easier to care for on a daily basis than short hair. Plus she could show it off in special do's on holidays. I'm wondering if the trend for short hair started when people started using shampoo and wash their hair much more often...

[Ecliafr]

I guess it is the modern, contemporary view on hair styles and "old" women. When you think about women in the 19th century, the standard was long hair, right? But when I pay attention to women over a certain age on the street today, I have a hard time finding one with long hair! I'm not over 40, but I don't think I will cut my hair when I am. I find it so beautiful and sophisticated when an older woman wears her long hair up, much more than a stylish short haircut...

[Of the Fae]

Forget about those women, a lot may actually be jealous of you because of your hair, and secretly may want it too :)
I think long hair looks great on everybody who takes proper care of it, young and older.

[pepperminttea]

It's sad really, isn't it? There's a woman I work with who's in her late thirties/early fourties, and she recently had her shoulder/APL-ish hair cut to chin length. She was actually late to work that morning because she wasn't used to how much time chin length hair takes to style, and she said when she woke up her hair was "out to here!" :lol: Her hair is quite thick and very coarse, and a gorgeous natural red. I'm so envious, it'd look amazing long, but chin length is certainly a difficult one to handle for her hair type. She said she was "getting too old for long hair." :( I said gently that I didn't think long hair had an age limit, but she didn't take it in. Who knows though, maybe she'll get sick of the styling and grow it longer again; chin length doesn't seem to be making her happy by any means.

[CarpeDM]

It seems like jealousy to me!

[duchesswannabe]

I think that those who carp about long hair over a certain age believe that those that cultivate it are trivial or immature. The shorter hair wearers may believe themselves to be contemporary or polished. I am not on the forum to chop others down, but I have seen instances of older women going for a "sassy" style that looks rather like it came from the punk movement, and to me it looks as if they are trying way too hard.

[WaitingSoLong]

I am not on the forum to chop others down, but I have seen instances of older women going for a "sassy" style that looks rather like it came from the punk movement, and to me it looks as if they are trying way too hard.

We don't have those stereotypes where I live. Long hair is everywhere and at every age although I have rarely seen a truly "older" woman (70's or older) with long hair. Probably because they bun it and I don't notice it is not just another shorter old-lady do.

What gets me is what is being considered OLD. 40? Really? That is PRIME TIME.

I agree the "sassy" look seems to be an over-attempt at...something. ?? It is usually accompanied by heavy make-up that is poorly done. I confess to doing a double take when I see this combo...but ultimately...WHO CARES?

Why do people care so mcuh about how other people look if not to compare them with themselves and try to make themselves feel better in some way? The world is full of insecure, self-esteem-thirsty people who suck their "nutrition" from the looks of others. MYOB is what I say to them!

[bluegirl]

I'm so thrilled to be reading this thread. I'm new to the forum and just turned 40 this year. My hair's currently not quite APL, but it's definitely going to get longer.

My grandmother's hair was always long. She wore it up every day, but I never saw anyone telling her to cut it. Crazy!

So now I'm wondering if I'll have to do what we teach our kids to do: come up with a few 'pat' things to say when people say or ask us to do objectionable things? Lol.

[spidermom]

Move to the Pacific NW. Around here, people keep their noses out of other people's business (mostly).

Honestly, the only person who has ever told me I should cut my hair is my father, and he lives in Ohio.

[In2wishin]

I'm so thrilled to be reading this thread. I'm new to the forum and just turned 40 this year. My hair's currently not quite APL, but it's definitely going to get longer.

My grandmother's hair was always long. She wore it up every day, but I never saw anyone telling her to cut it. Crazy!

So now I'm wondering if I'll have to do what we teach our kids to do: come up with a few 'pat' things to say when people say or ask us to do objectionable things? Lol.

One of the favorites over in the Salt-and-Pepper (Renegrey) thread is "I'm not here to decorate your world".

[Eilis]

Over here (Swiss Midlands), people are usually much too discreet to make comments in your face about anything. But I have gotten my share of ugly comments on my long hair (before I cut it to chin length 4 years ago).

One of my collegues at work for example.....she told me that she thinks long hair (longer than to the shoulder) on women over 40 is extremely ugly and if the long hair is gray it's making her want to puke! And a friend of mine told me the same, in words a little more friendly though.

As it is, you hardly see Swiss women over 40 with hair longer than to the shoulders and almost never grey! Long AND grey is an absolute no go!

But since I still am a rebellious teenager inside, this does not keep me from letting my hair grow again.

[going gray]

I am SO sick of our society everything is based on "being youthful"....hair,clothes etc., no one is admired for growing old gracefully.....well....very few.

All based on, Money!

[irisheyes]

No one has dared to tell me to cut, but family tried to discourage me when I first started to grow. My grandaughters are tickled when I let my hair down. I'm at waist length now with a new goal of tailbone. I'm 58, with lots of silvers!

[Purdy Bear]

Yep we get it a lot here in the UK.

Anyone who isnt a child or teen should have short hair, and those who dont get a lot of comments, or should I say I did.

My aunt would continually nag me about my hair so I got it cut twice from BSL, this is from a women who hasnt changed her hair style in a good 20 years.

Iv had others pull my hair to see if it was a wig, others tell me I need to have it cut while yanking at it, others that I need my perm redone - I had natural curls and so on.

People just love to tell me there opinion. Now I dont have any they still tell me there opinion! You just cant get away from it here. :)

Those who do have long hair in older age are said to be hippies etc.

Age is not going to stop me growing my hair realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyy long when it decides to grow back. :)

[Corvus]

Don't ever listen to what other people tell you about age and long hair!!!!

I made the mistake of listening to a friend. She told me that my long straight hair aged me, and that I would look far more stylish, and younger, with a short bob. It was the biggest mistake I ever made with my hair and I was so miserable. It didn't make me look more stylish. I had people actually tell me it made me look older!!! I felt unattractive - almost like my beauty had been cut off - and I would wake up at night and feel my hair was missing and cry......... It has taken a while, but I finally have my hair long again and I will NEVER listen to those so-called "well meaning" people who think they know better.

My hair before:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/long.jpg

My short bob:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/short.jpg


My hair now:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/longnstraight1.jpg

[In2wishin]

As to the "short hair is much easier to take care of" ....... I think most of us know that it isn't. My hair is that in between: too curly for straight styles and too straight for curly styles so when it was short I needed to perm or blow dry or dump on the products to within an inch of its life to make it look presentable. Now I wash and air dry. When it is time to style, the longest it takes me is 5 minutes for the most elaborate.

[littlenvy]

I still don't get why so many people are compelled to tell others how to dress, wear their hair or live their lives. :confused:
I never tell people what to do with themselves UNLESS they come up to me and ask for my opinion.
This is just strange to me.
I'm almost 40 and I just started my long hair journey. The first person that tells me to cut my hair because of my age is getting a smack down! :p

[ravenreed]

I guess I am lucky. I get nothing but positive comments on my hair, mostly from other women. No one is suggesting I cut mine. Those of us with long hair or a long hair goal encourage each other. One of my friends went through chemo a while back and is regrowing her hair so I am extra happy for every inch she grows. She has really fine hair and was getting a lot of breakage so I passed along some LHC tips, including the one about satin pillow cases, and her hair is growing quickly and looking great. She is 60.

[Red Rapunzel]

Thanks, Rapunzelna (Cher), for starting this post! I can sure commiserate!!

My mom was forever telling me I was too old for long hair (even if it was only shoulder length) so to please her I'd eventually get it cut and regret it. Once when I had it cut really short at her request, she cried when she saw it. That's when I learned to follow my own instincts regarding my hair length.

Cher, you mention you're a Native American. I still miss Jacob's (a Native American in Twilight ) at least BSL length long hair as seen in the first Twilight movie which was later chopped to a regular short guy cut. Why?? He looked so much better with the long hair!!

WaitingSoLong: Thanks for setting the lower age for "old" at 70!! Reminds me of when I was recently "carded" because of my long flowing red hair (I was wearing dark sunglasses at the time). Leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling. Also, your hair is stunningly gorgeous!!

Anyway, I'm 63 with classic length red hair and all my life I have heard that women after age 30 should only have short hair! By far, I buck the norm in my community - though I did see a woman who appeared to be in her 80s at the hospital with incredibly thick waist-length lovely and so flattering grey hair. I almost went up to her to ask how she kept it that thick.

People have given up on me because I just turn a deaf ear to their nonsensical remarks. My son would be very upset if I cut my hair - which he thinks looks great on me and which makes him feel he has a younger mother - not one who is really at grandmother-age.

On the upbeat side, several times at WalMart I have gotten very favorable responses from people about my long hair. Once when I was walking into WalMart, a lady in her 30s applauded me saying, "Why shouldn't older people have long hair?" She congratulated me for going against the norm and complimented me on my long hair. Another time, a short-haired older woman coming around the corner of an aisle at WalMart gasped when she saw my long hair and told me it was beautiful.

Now people, my hair really isn't that gorgeous compared to others I see here on this website. It isn't that my hair is stunning or anything: I think the positive remarks I have received are mainly expressions of delight and surprise on the part of people who are not used to seeing older folke with very long hair. Let us continue to inspire them and maybe their numbers will increase!

[heidi w.]

Cher,

Just live your life as much on your terms as is possible. In the end, it's all you really have.

I am about to be 52, and long hair has been a good idea even from a financial perspective.

heidi w.

[Hamh]

Don't ever listen to what other people tell you about age and long hair!!!!

I made the mistake of listening to a friend. She told me that my long straight hair aged me, and that I would look far more stylish, and younger, with a short bob. It was the biggest mistake I ever made with my hair and I was so miserable. It didn't make me look more stylish. I had people actually tell me it made me look older!!! I felt unattractive - almost like my beauty had been cut off - and I would wake up at night and feel my hair was missing and cry......... It has taken a while, but I finally have my hair long again and I will NEVER listen to those so-called "well meaning" people who think they know better.

My hair before:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/long.jpg

My short bob:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/short.jpg


My hair now:

http://i122.photobucket.com/albums/o251/Charonne/longnstraight1.jpg
Your hair is beautiful! I'm so glad you have it back. The first picture made me think of Demi Moore.

I'm sure your friend is lovely but possibly a little jealous? You must turn heads with that mane, you got me gorping!!

[Icialine]

Well ,since I draw quite well I must tell you that in my observation what ages people is either not taking care of their hair (ex.visible split ends,bottom getting very stringy) or over-processing it (ex.bleaching to death). Other than that it's a myth that short hair lifts your features or that long hair drags them down.
Your facial features are the way they are and while hair color can drain or enhance your complexion that's pretty much the extent of what your hair can do for you.
That's why I feel lucky to have found this community ,the information on how to make hair beautiful and keep it healthy is invaluable.

[Delila]

I've experienced those assumptions my whole life. They belong in the same group with all the opinions that people with fine, thinner hair 'must' wear it short, with layers and bangs. Ugh.

It's been my experience in life that being certain of my own opinions and sticking to them is all that's really necessary to withstand all the critiques.

It's also helpful to stop assuming that other people always have my best interests at heart.

[jeanniet]

Move to the Pacific NW. Around here, people keep their noses out of other people's business (mostly).

Honestly, the only person who has ever told me I should cut my hair is my father, and he lives in Ohio.
This. And maybe this is also why we two are members of the "I don't care what you think" club. It helps to live in an area that doesn't expect everyone to look alike.

[moxamoll]

I've seen this myth about age and hair length, but I've never had anyone actually tell it to me in person and expect that I'd change my hair. I've had everything from a pixie cut to classic length and every colour under the rainbow. I'm in my late 30's now and growing it out again. I'll keep it whatever length I want until I decide I want something else!
My hair so fair is pretty much au naturale and I'm 30-40% silver. But the rest of my hair is medium brown and although the silver is striking in bright direct light, most of the time it's looking mousy. I've recently decided to henna it red for a while, until enough goes silver to read as overall white. Not because I object to the silver or don't want to look old, but because I like to have head turning hair!

[wooliswonderful]

I'll be at around knee when I turn 40, and the only opinions that will matter will be God's, mine & my hubby's. :)

ETA: I secretly wish my mom would grow her hair out again. She's had a bob since I was little.

[PineappleJello]

You know you're a long hair when you have to see if it's 40 inches or 40 years :P

My mum is almost 55 and she's stil rocking her long waist-hip curly hair! I think it's bs, as long as it's well cared for it looks awesome

[Finnenna]

THIS is why I tell the older ladies I see at school with long hair (and some grey) how gorgeous it is! :D I get a kick out of making their days. :) Long hair is so awesome, and anyone who rocks it should be proud of themselves and not take to heart everyone else's opinions.

[Brenda714]

I'm 48 and growing my hair long again. I think it looks beautiful on middle/older women and actually makes us look younger. When I am much older a nice pony tail, braid or updo will be gorgeous! However, I'm thinking of comebacks like, "why do you care how I wear my hair?"

[Eden75]

I am not getting this yet, but I know it's coming. I am the only female at my work place so I don't get the comments from them but people do look now when I am at social events. So far, no age comments however I do get a lot of "Are you growing that for charity?" Why do I have to grow it for charity? I can't enjoy it myself? That one irritates me more I think because people seem to think that it's selfish not to cut it off for that......

Grow away ladies!! Give it to charity if you want! Keep it if you want! If it makes you happy, whether your 20 or 100, do what you want with it.

[halizabeth]

I've had a few negative comments over the years.... When I was 16 a neighbor lady made a comment about my hair saying "when I look at you all I see is hair, no face" .. After that I got it cut and did not like how short it was. My most recent comment was when I started working and my boss said "wow you have a lot of hair, do you ever think about cutting it?" ... I gave a little chuckle and said "I DO get it cut, I choose to have it long". I have to admit I work in a deli making hoagies and she was making reference to containing it so it doesn't end up in the food. I just put it up and cover it with a hair net and all is fine. I am 45 and I think my hair makes me look younger for now. Most of the comments I get are positive and from strangers. It's amazing how many people want to tell me how beautiful they think my hair is and ask if it's naturally curly ect. Some times I just toss my head from side to side like a sexy commercial and say "it's natural, I just wake up like this" then I fess up that it's hot curlers and curling conditioner that helps my naturally wavy hair.

[PixxieStix]

I am all about being one to age gracefully, (Yeah, I"m only 24 right now, but I realize beauty is cumulative, and taking care of myself now will show later on!), and expect to be to my goal length of waist in about 4 years, and will never, EVER in my life willfully have my hair short ever again. I plan on having gorgeous silver/white, waist length hair until the day I die (as long as I make it to being that old.)

When I see older women with long hair, especially ones letting the gray show through/grow, I always compliment them! No, they are not there to decorate my world, but it sure makes me happy to see that they obviously love and take care of their hair.

But, sadly, I hear those kinds of comments too, where it is deemed unacceptable to have long hair over a certain age, but really, when did that happen? The last 70 years or so? It just doesn't make sense to me. I would LOVE to see my mom grow out her hair, she's been blowfrying, curling and straight ironing it for decades, and finally last year switched away from all that to using henna/indigo to dye her hair, air drying mostly, and sparse use of the flat iron. Her hair has always been at APL/Shoulder with frayed, fried ends, but maybe we can grow our hair together, and some day she'll let the grays start to peep through, because she'd look amazing silver. =)

[rapunzelna]

Well, first let me say thanks to all who have posted. I really didn't expect to get so many responses so quickly. I guess I hit a nerve.

I think I'm going to go with the jealousy thought, since it's clearly women with short hair who suggest I cut it.

I will admit that the best fan of my long hair is my mom, who thinks I was pretty stupid for keeping it so short for so long. I went back to look at old pictures..and I'm dating myself here..but it was kind of fun. Over the year's I've had:

1. The Marlo Thomas "That Girl" flipped bob...that was my longest style!
2. The Faye Dunaway "Bonnie and Clyde" bob,
3. The Jane Fonda "Klute" shag (that was a bad one!)
4. The Joyce Dewitt "Three's company" spike
5. The Annie Lenox "Eurythmics" buzz cut
6. The Chrissy Hine "Pretenders" shag with long bands (I actually like bangs hanging in my eyes now!)
7. The Dorothy Hamill bob

I now prefer the Crystal Gayle cascading mane!

Cher

[Sooze]

I've come to the conclusion that people who feel they have an unassailable right to comment could suffer from one or more of the following traits

1) jealousy
2) being a little opinionated (just a little!)
3) confuse long hair with virginity and therefore complex sexual connotations (shades of Dr Ruth!)
4) found long hair resembled for them a badge of immaturity they couldn't wait to shed
5) feel women over forty who like to grow hair long are delusional, and trying to recapture lost youth
6) Feel long hair is the province solely of young attractive females and no-one else

They seldom seem to consider that maybe women with long hair just like it.

Pixxiestix makes a very good point - until around 100 years ago, it was the norm for women of any age to have long hair. In the early 1900's and with the advent of the First World War in particular, it became more practical (due to women working around heavy machinery) to shorthern hair, which then became "smart" "modern" and fashionable. Many found it easier to manage short, admittedly, and the trend stuck. But its definitely horses for course, and no-one should be made to feel bad for bucking a trend.

[Kyaatje]

Nobody told me to cut it, the only comments I get are from my family asking why I tend to do 'crazy' things with my hair.

To be honest I didn't know there was something like age appropriate hair style/length. I thought it had to be something American (LOL) but then I started looking at the people in the street and I have trouble finding anybody with long hair that isn't a student/young : go figure !

But I think people are to polite/minding their own business to say something

[CavySong]

My first visit to a GM salon was yesterday and we talked about just this issue. I understand that sometimes arthritis is partly to blame for some believing the lie their hair should be shorter. She told me that wasn't a problem years ago as when that happened ladies used to come to her once a week for a wash and set. I guess too many ladies think they have to manage their hair alone when they have health issues, which is silly. It's ok to get help with your yard or your house, but not your hair?

[LoveMyLongHair]

Count me IN here !!! I am 44, about to be 45......with waist length hair, and growing it until it won't grow anymore !!

I finally talked my mom into growing hair out, she has gorgeous thick hair.....she is now at 29 inches.....we we are growing together !!

Live live long hairs !! Especially the over 40 ones who just don't care !


:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

[Madora]

My first visit to a GM salon was yesterday and we talked about just this issue. I understand that sometimes arthritis is partly to blame for some believing the lie their hair should be shorter. She told me that wasn't a problem years ago as when that happened ladies used to come to her once a week for a wash and set. I guess too many ladies think they have to manage their hair alone when they have health issues, which is silly. It's ok to get help with your yard or your house, but not your hair?

Yes, health issues can be troublesome when you're alone.

The problem is, not many people out there know HOW to take care of long hair. The shampooing alone makes them pause, let alone knowing how to create updos.

It would be wonderful if you could just call up a George Michael specialist and have help at your fingertips!! The thought makes me smile!:)

[wendyg]

purdy bear: But I see people in central London all the time with long (waist-plus) hair. It's true that in the middle-class suburbs it isn't so common other than non-whites.

wg

[Corvus]

I'm sure your friend is lovely but possibly a little jealous? You must turn heads with that mane, you got me gorping!!


My husband thinks a little jealousy was in her motivation, considering her husband "won't allow" her to grow her hair long.......

Thank you for the kind words!

[jeanniet]

My husband thinks a little jealousy was in her motivation, considering her husband "won't allow" her to grow her hair long.......

Thank you for the kind words!

That would not go over well here. I'd have to grow mine long out of sheer orneryness, and hubby knows it, too. :eyebrows:

[summergreen]

I think some people feel a bit threatened by women who arent being dictated to by the fashion/age appropriate police (aka makeover programmes and style magazines).

I live in a big city and you see everything here - but only on the under-30s. Women over 30 are mostly very conventional. Ive had some filthy looks from men of about my own age - hair thats long, loose AND naturally silvering, how very dare I?!

[dulce]

I'll be 60 next year,have curly silver streaked light brown waist hair,Hubbie loves it and the only negative feedback I have had so far is from women my age or older with short hair.Guess they don't approve of my bucking convention[the older you are ,the shorter the hair]Young people and men of all ages don't seem to care.

[AnqeIicDemise]

My mom's 65 and I restarted her hair growth movement by letting mine get long. It reminded her it is attractive, simple and easier to take care of.

And she was PISSED when she went in for a trim while on vacation and the woman chopped it all off. It was down to her shoulders and now its back to this freaky thing, that quite frankly, irritates my mom. She called me right after this happened, in tears, complaining about HOW LONG it takes for her to do anything decent with it and wanted advice.

I also chewed out my sister for talking my mom into going to the salon in the first place, telling the stylist to cut it short and then saying mom should suck it up.

The good thing is that it is hair and it grows back, but it is quite frustrating for her.

[CavySong]

Point taken, Madora. It has been hell trying to find someone with a clue about long hair. I imagine it's just one more unnecessary difficulty to hunt for haircare when life is already hard.

For me, the shoulder is already an issue at 46, but having it longer seems to make it easier for me to reach rather than harder...

[dulce]

If you grow it long and have a blunt cut you can get a friend or family member to cut it,I never go to salons anymore.If you want layers ,the salon or a CREA clip should be used but if you go blunt hem it's super easy to do at home.I feel sad seeing all the threads on bad haircuts at the salon,if you can't find a hair dresser you can trust, do it at home.

[AmericanWoman]

I'll be 55 and really haven't had any negetive feedback about my hair: It''s up for work(food servce) Work people see it down and almost everyday patients, male femalle employees are always exclaimiing over my hair. i don't
mind. Lol Men my age usually llove it cuz they don't see too any women in our age group with long hair, I guess. i've never felt pressured to cut it and haven't been to a salon since 2002.

[Mesmerise]

My husband thinks a little jealousy was in her motivation, considering her husband "won't allow" her to grow her hair long.......

Thank you for the kind words!

Err WHAT? Actually THAT annoys me more than the general idea that women over a certain age shouldn't have long hair :rolleyes:. If my husband EVER told me I couldn't do something like that, he'd be a very miserable man indeed... grrr... just makes my blood boil!!

And back OT... I wonder if it's a regional thing with all the "older" women being told they should cut their hair? I have never experienced it, and I've never actually heard anyone say to anyone else that they should cut their hair because they're getting older or whatever. It is certainly more common here for older women to have short hair, but it's not uncommon to see older women with longer hair, either.

I wonder if any other Australians have ever been told to cut their hair?? Or maybe it's just a localised thing? I see plenty of long haired women in their 30s and 40s definitely.

The only person I know who was told she should cut her hair was a friend of mine who had curly waist length iii thickness hair, and her boss thought it looked unprofessional when she wore it in a ponytail and suggested she cut it. I said it was ridiculous and we worked on getting it into a neat bun, and as far as I know he didn't comment again after that. But yeah... apart from that I've never heard negativity to long hair really.

[mallorykay13]

Why do people care so mcuh about how other people look if not to compare them with themselves and try to make themselves feel better in some way? The world is full of insecure, self-esteem-thirsty people who suck their "nutrition" from the looks of others. MYOB is what I say to them!

I love you. :D

[mariazelie]

As I was growing up my mother made many comments about older women needing to cut their hair. Mine is long now and up in a"do" of some sort when I go out. No comments from mum, aged 87, but I know what she thinks! My sister is older (65 and does the long hair and leaves it down occasionally) which obviously makes Mother cringe, even tho she doesn't SAY anything. You know how those family vibes work! The comment I would like to make is this: When I look around at older women and check out the hairstyles, I don't think the short "mannish" cuts are so lovely. So what is all the fuss? We are women, long hair is FEMININE. Let us have it in peace! There, that was my rant. I am glad I finally got to say that.