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View Full Version : why do people always assume long hair is extensions?!



kidari
October 7th, 2011, 08:06 PM
Yesterday I was out and this girl that I see occasionally remarked very loudly in front of a lot of people we mutually know, "Oh wow I love your new hair extensions they look awesome!" She reached out and grabbed my hair. I was startled and replied, "It's all my hair, I don't have extensions in." Then she looked disappointed and full of disbelief and proceeded to reach in at the hair towards the nape of my head and give a few tugs saying how I was lying. I think she did this to make me look stupid in front of people too. It was about almost BSL back in June and is now MBL (reasonable, right?) but I guess it's because I've been wearing it up more? Anyhow that is incredibly rude. I just wanted to vent.

Copasetic
October 7th, 2011, 08:09 PM
I would be way more offended that someone reached out and grabbed my hair. Talk about needing to respect personal space.

Ravenwind
October 7th, 2011, 08:11 PM
I've been asked if I have extensions, and quite frankly, it seems kind of rude to ask, and makes me feel offended. Especially if you work hard at keeping your hair healthy and long. I have never been in the kind of situation you went through but I probably would have reacted the same way. People these days seem to think the only way to have long hair is to have extensions, and a lot of people do have extensions, so that's why they assume. I can usually tell who has extensions or not (because most of them look unnatural and uneven), but I always assume that someone with long, pretty hair doesn't have extensions.

heartgoesboom
October 7th, 2011, 08:15 PM
wow, how rude!

i never assume it's extensions because i don't know people who wear them.

racrane
October 7th, 2011, 08:21 PM
That is very rude. I would have said "Jealous, huh?" if she had pulled on my hair. Would have shut her up.

PixxieStix
October 7th, 2011, 08:28 PM
Oh, that just makes me cringe! That just seems so rude and tactless, like walking up to someone and commenting on their nice boob job, great fake tan, etc. You just do not say things like that in public, UGH! I agree, she was probably jealous. ^.^

Sundial
October 7th, 2011, 08:29 PM
Yes that's rude! I had a friend who did that to me years ago when I was growing out my hair for my wedding and I was really offended :rolleyes:

This time around, I only got asked by a friend's aunt and I was ok with it because she was polite about it and was genuinely shocked to see how long my hair has become (I hardly see her and when I do, my hair is usually up).

AzuraBlaise
October 7th, 2011, 08:36 PM
I have never assumed that people with long hair didn't grow it naturally, unless it seemed obvious (pixie crop with long bottom layer...busted!), but even then I wouldn't have commented on it. It seems that some people in this world think that long hair can ONLY be achieved by extentions, after all, that's what we see all the time in the media. Very few people seem to be dedicated to growing their hair out nice and naturally instead of cheating by using extentions. Which is why we all hang out on the LHC :D

Cirafly24
October 7th, 2011, 08:37 PM
That's so rude! I used to have a friend who would do that type of thing. Once, she wouldn't believe I didn't have fake nails, and she grabbed my hand and try to pull them off. Yikes!

If someone reached into my hair and pulled on it to see if I had extensions, they'd probably get punched.

dulce
October 7th, 2011, 08:45 PM
A lot of people don't have the patience to grow and this is the I want it now generation[extensions].Combine that with dyeing,flatironing and other assorted common place hair damagers prevalent today and some have damaged their hair so much it won't grow long,just breaks off.No wonder most people have difficulty realizing people can actually grow very long hair.When I go out, I rarely see waist length and never see longer hair than that where I live.

adiapalic
October 7th, 2011, 08:56 PM
Something like this happening would make me want to spear at their hand with my fork and mumble with a defeated tone, "My... personal space..." like Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. For some reason that scene just tips over my tickle box. lol

I guess extensions are becoming so popular that people instantly assume long, healthy hair = extensions. But I don't think extensions accommodate having updo's though, if I'm not mistaken. I think it exposes the attachments at the scalp (except for loose/low ponytails, braids and buns), and most people with extensions wear it down all the time. Seems like she would have known that? Even so, I agree her reaction was unwarranted and rude. I'd be ticked too.

KwaveT
October 7th, 2011, 09:06 PM
That's so rude! I used to have a friend who would do that type of thing. Once, she wouldn't believe I didn't have fake nails, and she grabbed my hand and try to pull them off. Yikes!

If someone reached into my hair and pulled on it to see if I had extensions, they'd probably get punched.

This makes me wonder when are people gonna to learn the you can look but you can't touch mantra. People trying to tug would be hair extensions when its real hair. I don't have long hair but the nails I do. My nails are so long that I probably couldn't even throw a proper punch or that would probably be my reaction also to somebody trying to rip my nails. I know cat claw them with my nails and that won't happen again.:)

Rebeccalaurenxx
October 7th, 2011, 09:38 PM
Ive had that happen when I DID wear extensions a year or 2 ago, and even me being someone that wore extensions, I still found it VERY rude -__- They would push their fingers into my scalp to try and find the clips or they would try to unclip them to try and put them on themselves.

People are rude, whether you really wear extensions or not. Lol.

Foxy_Booker
October 7th, 2011, 10:02 PM
I don't really think its rude when people assume my hair is extensions. I mean in your specific scenario that girl was rude but I always have my hair up so when people see it down they don't expect it to be long so I understand the confusion.

Also I feel kinda smug when people think its extensions and I tell them its my real hair because extensions are a way for girls to try and attempt to have pretty long hair so having it for real through hard work is rewarding.

Enigma
October 7th, 2011, 10:06 PM
Man, that's so rude, what a jealous person. This really irritates me.

That would warrant a slap in the face from me.

But take it as a wayward compliment! She didn't want to believe you have gorgeous and real long hair and wanted to unmask (possibly sabotage) the beauty of it from jealousy. Clearly, you've got something awesome going on with your hair ;)

kidari
October 7th, 2011, 11:27 PM
Aww you guys thank you for all your input. I don't mean to ask for compliments or anything it's just that I had the most horrible day yesterday. Everybody was rude to me and the cherry on top of the cake was I got a traffic ticket on the way home. I want to get a professional haircut this year because I cut my hair myself and I think my layers make my hair look like a mullet sometimes if it's straight, so that's probably why she thought I had longer extensions clipped in on the bottom.

luxepiggy
October 7th, 2011, 11:54 PM
Honestly, I encounter this quite frequently, and I don't find it offensive at all.

Bear in mind that amongst the general population as a whole, a sizeable percentage of the longer hair is extensions. In my various social circles, for example, there are usually 5-10 girls with APL+ hair at any given time, and it's all extensions except for mine.

If anything, take it as a compliment, because the implication is usually that the observer thinks your hair looks "too good to be real." I don't take offense when people ask if my hair is extensions any more than I do if they ask me if my eyelashes, nails, or breasts are real (no, yes and yes, respectively :p)

heartgoesboom
October 8th, 2011, 12:05 AM
Honestly, I encounter this quite frequently, and I don't find it offensive at all.

Bear in mind that amongst the general population as a whole, a sizeable percentage of the longer hair is extensions. In my various social circles, for example, there are usually 5-10 girls with APL+ hair at any given time, and it's all extensions except for mine.

If anything, take it as a compliment, because the implication is usually that the observer thinks your hair looks "too good to be real." I don't take offense when people ask if my hair is extensions any more than I do if they ask me if my eyelashes, nails, or breasts are real (no, yes and yes, respectively :p)

i don't think it's rude that the girl thought op's hair are extensions... it's the pulling on her hair to try to embarrass her.

Enigma
October 8th, 2011, 12:15 AM
i don't think it's rude that the girl thought op's hair are extensions... it's the pulling on her hair to try to embarrass her.

^ Had she said, "Wow are those extensions?", that wouldn't have been rude at all. But the touching and tugging and making it a loud, public thing in front of a crowd..... so rude.

lacefrost
October 8th, 2011, 12:16 AM
I bet she felt (and looked) stupid once she realized it was all her hair. Very rude of her to try to embarrass you but I'm sure she just ended up embarrassing herself.

teal
October 8th, 2011, 01:44 AM
If someone reached into my hair and pulled on it to see if I had extensions, they'd probably get punched.

That's what I was thinking. Or grab her hair and give it a tug.

morrigan*
October 8th, 2011, 01:32 PM
I'll punch her if I were you or at least tell her what she deserves. It's rude to touching others hair as it's rude to touch others breasts or butts. :D
She could just politely ask and I bet you have wonderful hair :D

Orangerthanred
October 8th, 2011, 02:37 PM
I guess a lot of people wear extensions, so people just assume everyone who has very long hair does.

Even the celebrities wear extensions and wigs- Kim Kardashian and Lady Gaga are good examples.

MrsGuther
October 8th, 2011, 02:47 PM
How rude of her! That is so lame. I would be super offended too if somebody said and did that to me. I'm sorry that happened to you. She is probably just jealous of your hair!!!

WinterButterfly
October 8th, 2011, 08:47 PM
That would be a big case of no tact. Now I did tell a previous co worker that I really liked her wig. And then I realised that I was too loud and appolgisedm but it was really neat! The funny thing is that a lot of the extension hair does come from real people. And a lot of it is from india. From real women. Who really grew their hair, for real. So why do people think it is impossible for other people to grow real hair long? I mean, as long as you do basic hair hare and follow common sence you can get a lot of length. It sounds like this lady was trying to embarras you. And that is not apropriate behavior. Take it as an excuse to grow even longer and more awesome hair.

LittleB
October 8th, 2011, 10:06 PM
It seems like most people who have long, pretty hair have extensions.
Annnnnnd.....she was jealous. :) Take it as a compliment! :)

spidermom
October 8th, 2011, 10:31 PM
Good heavens, how rude! Where are you? I never want to go there.

I really have never had a single person assume that my long hair is extensions. I don't think they're all that popular around here.

AshNight1214
October 8th, 2011, 11:35 PM
Wow, that's unbelievably rude! I think because mot people don't bother to keep up their hair, they assume that if your hair is long and doesn't look like s**t, it just not really be yours. (And, on a side note, I'd've smacked her one for tugging. That's ridiculous.)

lastnite
October 8th, 2011, 11:53 PM
wow, that was rude to make the comment and TUG ON YOUR HAIR!?!?

if they just asked if I had extensions, genuinely curious, I would take it as a compliment...most extensions look nice, thick and healthy.

citadel
October 9th, 2011, 12:04 AM
I bought some extensions in the exact same shade as my hair for my wedding so I would have a fuller head of hair, but the extensions were a little shorter than my real hair. When a college friend asked if I was wearing extensions, I said I was, and she immediately cut in, "Yeah, I knew your hair wasn't that long." But uh...my hair was LONGER than the extensions. It was my wedding so I was just mildly ticked and brushed it off.

So many girls wear extensions on a daily basis because of the instant gratification...I don't think most females my age have the patience to avoid the salon every month.

Teamouse
October 9th, 2011, 12:16 AM
Wow, what the heck!?

Sounds like she was just in a weird hyperactive mood or something. Oh, and jealous, for sure.

I wouldn't punch someone for doing this though... I doubt anyone here actually would. But I can understand the feeling of wanting too.
I think I'd be too shocked to really react.

missoj
October 9th, 2011, 10:16 AM
That's so rude! Even more so to grab your hair and pull it. I've been told by a family 'friend' "I like your extensions" before (and this was when I had apl length). I guess because they're so common and people expect everyone with long hair to hair them.

Nicci4
October 9th, 2011, 10:28 AM
Reminds me of an old high school acquaintance whom I haven't seen in 10 years asked where I had my boob job done. (Prekids I had almost A's). I told her I didn't have plastic surgery, instead opted for the pregnancy route. She didn't believe me.

thelittlestdoc
October 9th, 2011, 10:21 PM
I would never touch someone's hair without permission and I wouldn't even ask if I didn't know them very well. That's extremely rude!

She was probably just jealous. I think people assume long hair is made up of extensions when they're from metro areas (this is, of course, a wild generalization). Most people I know who've lived in bigger cities think it's impossible to grow hair as long as many LHCers do. It's actually a conversation I've had with friends from Boston/NYC/LA--they say with the styling expected at work and the water quality they couldn't grow hair as long as they want, they have to get extensions. :rolleyes:

Crysta
October 9th, 2011, 11:16 PM
You know it's funny - I get that with my chest [RUDE MUCH YES?]

I have very large breasts - GG, I don't mind sharing, but sorry if it's TMI

I often get people asking, "are those real?"
or "where did you get your boobs done?"

I'm quite rude to people when they ask things like that - and i'd be just the same if they did it with my hair - if they pulled my hair I would act the same as if they had squeezed my chest - A punch to the face should sort them out :3

Maybe I have some anger issues :P

freckles
October 10th, 2011, 10:02 AM
I wouldn't mind if someone assumed my hair was extensions (well, I don't think I'd mind, it's never happened to me though) -- but I WOULD mind if someone put their hands into the back of my hair and PULLED, or if someone said I was LYING about not having extensions.

that's so rude that I'm fuming on your behalf!!

chihuahuaesque
October 10th, 2011, 10:09 AM
I've had someone ask if I had hair extensions before, and I thought it was such an odd question!

BabyRay33
October 10th, 2011, 12:55 PM
This girl was obviously jealous. People get VERRRY wide eyed at the thought that you grew your hair long, and didn't just glue/attach hair to your head. I've always thought it was really easy to see who has extensions and who doesn't, because the hair usually doesn't match up perfectly. I have seen some good extensions, and even thought about buying them, but I would feel like I cheated or something...growing my hair out is something that I'm doing for me, and to skimp on it for the easy payoff....it just feels wrong.

No offense to anyone who likes extensions, but I think real heads of hair are much more impressive, since your paycheck didn't get you the long hair. All of us are on this journey and while it might cost money (hairtoys anyone?) we aren't skipping steps to get to the goal.

The personal space issue would have shocked me...I would like to think I would slap their hand away, but I'm pretty sure I would just be making faces!!

Kedei
October 10th, 2011, 05:37 PM
....WOW... Kudos to you for showing that girl wrong, that real long hair is worth the time and effort! Personal space issues... I would love to see the reaction on her face if you went up to her and did the same thing... Bet she wouldn't like that, now, would she. :D
I only just recently started hearing about these hair extensions, and was so surprised... Maybe it is because I don't pay attention to fads, but this one bothers me. My younger sister was raving about them, about how much she wished she had them. Her hair is BSL and very thick, shiny, and beautiful, better and less damaged than mine, for sure! Yet she still laments not having hair extensions or long hair... :shocked: and here I am at mid neck level with damaged hair pleading with her not to cut her beautiful hair off! haha! :crazyq: Crazy...
The grass is always greener, I suppose...

FrozenBritannia
October 10th, 2011, 07:26 PM
I would have laughed if someone accused me of having extensions, and then said, uh, no, it's all mine.. But the second her fingers were pulling on my precious hair I would have decked her. No holds barred. I'm seeing red just thinking about it.

I'm usually a very calm person.

But a friend pretended to pour pop on my head in highschool and accidentally did and I threw her into the lockers so hard she got scared. (I was a tiny thing in highschool- she was taller and heavier than me).

I guess when it comes to my hair, I've never had much of a sense of humour. :)

I've had people try to pull my fingernails off too. It hurts!!

BeatlesFanGirl
October 11th, 2011, 07:31 AM
You know it's funny - I get that with my chest [RUDE MUCH YES?]

I have very large breasts - GG, I don't mind sharing, but sorry if it's TMI

I often get people asking, "are those real?"
or "where did you get your boobs done?"

I'm quite rude to people when they ask things like that - and i'd be just the same if they did it with my hair - if they pulled my hair I would act the same as if they had squeezed my chest - A punch to the face should sort them out :3

Maybe I have some anger issues :P

So surprising that people assume big boobs or beautiful long hair must be fake.

I have had big (cup E) boobs since my age 13-14, but strangely, no one thught they were unreal. Probably because they are very soft and they are too bouncy. :D

As for my hair, I had 2 occasions, when someone thought they were extensions. Once my BIL's mom complimented on my hair and asked if it was mine, the other time I went for a trim, and the stylist had just tried a new extension routine on the other stylist. That other one thought mine was extension too!

I cant get it, extensions are so obvious! Strangely, I see a few sometimes and my real hair looks 1000 times better than those fake locks.

KwaveT
October 11th, 2011, 10:27 AM
I can't believe people behave like this. I can only imagine how I would behave if somebody tried something like this. I am going to grow my hair well long enough to generate this kind of rude behavior. It is bad enough when others walk up to you to touch your hair but to walk up to somebody and just pull their hair assuming it was extensions. They would at least get a nasty look and their hand slapped away. That is a total violaton of personal space.

Rocket22
October 11th, 2011, 11:43 AM
Well that for sure is rude to put her hands in your head assuming you are lying. Other than that I would just take it as a compliment. I wore them for years and years and never did anyone ask if they were extension. Although if the subject came up I would usually be more than happy to discuss them. I honestly can not wait for the day when people think my real hair is long enough to be thought of as extensions. :)

sisi33
October 11th, 2011, 12:45 PM
I would think of it as a compliment if someone asked me if I had extensions. But once you start trying to find where the "real hair" is on my head, you get slapped. I don't care who you are, you DO NOT pull at my hair. No, bad human, no cookie.

heidi w.
October 11th, 2011, 12:56 PM
While it's a bit on the rude side, keep in mind that most people do not have familiarity with overly long hair as we here on LHC are familiar with. So people tend to assume things based on what they're used to and more familiar with. Tons of "Style" type people are wearing fake hair of sorts, extensions, that kind of thing...

Realizing this, you may have a different view and understanding at some point regarding this happening.

I tend to feel that a person up and pulling on hair is kind of ballsy, nevertheless. I don't think this person was trying to personally humiliate or shame you in any way; she just wasn't thinking and did a knee-jerk reaction, assuming that it's ok with her if people touch/pull her hair, so it's ok if she does it to others.

Eventually you'll get used to this and know how to respond with a simple: Please don't touch my hair. Thank you.


I've been to long hair meetings, and even we don't touch each other's hair unless invited to.

heidi w.

ilovelonghair
October 11th, 2011, 01:14 PM
Maybe this has been said before: but if no one has real long hair and hair can only be long by extentions, where do the extensions come from? LOL

fiddlefananb
October 11th, 2011, 02:52 PM
While it's a bit on the rude side, keep in mind that most people do not have familiarity with overly long hair as we here on LHC are familiar with. So people tend to assume things based on what they're used to and more familiar with. Tons of "Style" type people are wearing fake hair of sorts, extensions, that kind of thing...

Realizing this, you may have a different view and understanding at some point regarding this happening.

I tend to feel that a person up and pulling on hair is kind of ballsy, nevertheless. I don't think this person was trying to personally humiliate or shame you in any way; she just wasn't thinking and did a knee-jerk reaction, assuming that it's ok with her if people touch/pull her hair, so it's ok if she does it to others.

Eventually you'll get used to this and know how to respond with a simple: Please don't touch my hair. Thank you.


I've been to long hair meetings, and even we don't touch each other's hair unless invited to.

heidi w.


A long hair meeting sounds fun! I would love to go to one of those. :) And yes, I would probably punch someone in the face if they pulled on my hair like I was lying!

JuliaDancer
October 11th, 2011, 03:55 PM
I feel like she only made herself look like an idiot. Luckily for you, it was your real hair, but imagine how embarrassing it would be for someone if they really were extensions? Way for her to call it out. That's like saying, "hey did you stuff your bra today??" And pulling on hair, nails, or any other body part is just awful. What if she said that to someone who was wearing extensions and they lied, and she yanked them out? Firstly, it would probably hurt, and secondly, how much more embarrassing would that be? She sounds wicked to me.

JuliaDancer
October 11th, 2011, 04:06 PM
I think people assume long hair is made up of extensions when they're from metro areas (this is, of course, a wild generalization). Most people I know who've lived in bigger cities think it's impossible to grow hair as long as many LHCers do. It's actually a conversation I've had with friends from Boston/NYC/LA--they say with the styling expected at work and the water quality they couldn't grow hair as long as they want, they have to get extensions. :rolleyes:

Oh please, I live in NYC, and I think your friends are being overdramatic. What styling expected at work? Are they high fashion models? Because that's the only work scenario I can think of which would require styling that damages hair... I actually see a lot more people in NYC with naturally long hair (waist and longer) than when I go to the suburbs and other states. I did see some awful extensions the other day at Sephora though, but a lot of the customers were extremely made up for some reason. When you can see where the extensions attach to your pixie cut, it's not fooling anyone... Then the same day I saw an Asian woman with classic length hair on a bike. Unless everyone has really really good, very long extensions, I think a lot of it is real.

Anneimaire
October 11th, 2011, 04:07 PM
The asking was rude in one way and flattering in another but the touching thatís beyond reason.
I congratulate you on not knocking her head off or grabbing hers and to see how she felt having it done back.
I would of freaked out, I mean really bad, like a bee (Iím deadly allergic) or spider was in my hair or she had a knife, I donít like people touching me even if I know them I have to really trust them or they have to be children let alone a complete stranger and without consent. I canít even shake some ones hand. (I know I have issues but their medical, wonder what hers would be :o)
One day she will do that to the wrong person and find herself in the back of a cop car, or in a hospital bed itís technically assault and you could have charged her (it may or not be droped but it would shore make her feel small and it would be a wake up call, well maybe). She should count herself lucky. I know it sound a bit over the top but to some people having a stranger do that are like being physically attacked it can bring up just as much fear.
It makes me wonder how insecure she is about herself to have to try to sabotage some one elseís hair nasty little witch. I have nothing against witches just canít type the B word and when you say witch fast it sounds the same to most people.
On the other hand it makes me feel sorry for her, she must of had a some crapy friends or family to think that is acceptable behaviour, or that she is just one of those younger girls that need to be nasty to ever one around them to make them feel big, tuff and loved.