Hair advice for a complete newbie (+pictures)

[theflummox]

(a tl;dr will be provided at the bottom for people who dislike idle chatter)

I come to you now, LHCers, for it is my time of need.

I discovered LHC three months ago. Up until then, my hair's life was torturous: I had never even considered "hair care". My has was always resilient, and aside from numerous split ends it always looked healthy; it was soft and shiny, maybe a bit frizzy but not dry. It was good, honest hair.
I've been chemically dying my hair since I was, say, 15 (I'm 20 now) and I've been flat ironing even before that. I flat ironed with a passion: see, when I started to pay attention to what my hair was like, back when I was 13, I was rewarded with a big frizzy, oily ball of... I dare not call it wavy hair, for my hair didn't fall in soft, beautiful waves but unruly bents!
So I began flat ironing it once, maybe twice per day for years. Then I decided that my natural mid brown hair was unbecoming of me, and that I desired dark, chocolatey shiny locks! In comes the hair dye.
I stopped flat ironing my hair daily about a year ago, but still did it occasionally. It has only been 6 months that I've completely stopped it, and 2 months that I've given up blowdrying as wall. I've decided to go completely heat free. I still dyed my hair, and I last dyed it at the beginning of September with an organic hair dye. I've decided to give this up as well and research henna and indigo instead.

In August, I started to CO my hair. I kept this up for 2 months and it wasn't half bad, but even though my hair was soft, it looked dull and flat. The softness wasn't any softer than how soft my hair had always been (it really is soft) (see if I can squeeze the word soft in here one more time :p), so I decided it wasn't worth it. I tried Ktani's Movie Star Shampoo method once three days ago and I loved it, so I might try going with that for a while and see what happens.

My hair will normally not absorb coconut oil for the life of it; trying to oil my hair with it will just get me oily, greasy hair. Not crunchy, just... Greasy. I love sunflower oil though, my hair absorbs it immediately. So that's what I use as a leave-in.

I've gone completely cone-free and sulfates-free for three months now. Can't say I've noticed a big difference, maybe just way more split ends now that my hair doesn't have a silicone coating.

Which brings me to my next point: my hair is choke full with split ends and white dots! I got my last trim in September but you couldn't tell by looking at my ends. I S&D weekly, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. My ends don't feel dry at all, but the splits and dots don't seem to care.

Finally, my biggest problem: my hair does NOT grow. I refuse to believe it has reached terminal length already, but it seems to have! I never really measured before, but I remember it being collarbone length back in February of 2010. It's 25 inches now and has been for a while. Is it just that it grows slowly or have I hit a halt?
I guess I don't eat as well as I should, since I'm a student and can't really cook where I live. I eat out every day, and even though I do my best to eat well, it's not always easy. Maybe that could be the issue?
A hairdresser once told me that my hair was a bit like Asian hair in that it could withstand years of bad treatment and be fine until it reached the point where it just suddenly couldn't take any more and died. I'm not sure if I believe this.

So here are some pictures of my hair, a month ago and today. Could you kind folks also help me figure out my hair type?

A month ago:

http://i54.tinypic.com/21azepz.jpg

http://i52.tinypic.com/315g84j.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/6892eu.jpg

the frizz, the frizz!
http://i55.tinypic.com/30iazxt.jpg


My hair now (in slightly different light):
http://i55.tinypic.com/2iru1ww.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/2i23eyc.jpg


tl;dr I have a legion of split ends and white dots; frizz beyond your wildest imagination; no hair growth. Also, I've no idea what my hair type is. Please provide me with your wisdom, LHCers.

[hellopanpan]

I'm gonna leave this one more to the more experienced LHCers since I'm still learning myself. BUT, as for the splits and white dots you should do a S&D (search and destroy) have you heard of this already? I was provided with this wonderful link earlier showing what to look for when you do your S&D :) here :) (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=189)

[Safira]

Well, I can see some growth.

You should give time to your hair. Recovery doesen´t come that easily, trust me, been there. It took me two years and finally henna made my hair grow. No, not grow, because my hair did grow, but it broke.


I think you should keep on good work and give time. Change doesen´t come easily but it will come. I think your hair texture is beautiful =)

[theflummox]

hellopanpan: I already S&D weekly, it just doesn't seem to make a different. My hair is a bit like the Lernaean hydra: for each split end I cut off it grows two more.


Safira: no really? Growth?! Well this makes me happy :D I understand the need for patience, it's just that I'm like a 4 year old when it comes to waiting for anything: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

Thank you both for your kind words and help!

[isabelx]

As for your hair type I'd say 1b? I'm kinda new to hair typing though.

[Niphredil]

Well, I haven't read your entire post, just the last lines :)

If you trim splits/white dots and a new split/white dot appears straight away, than you haven't cut off all damage to that strand. (been there myself)

If you really want to remove the damage and 'start afresh' then you should get a good trim of at least a few inches. If you don't want that, you have to accept that there is damage and that you need to treat your hair really like it was old antique and fragile lace. It has to be cut off sometime though, it is up to you when to do that.

Personally I would either do a serious trim or monthly trims, depending on the extent of the damage.

[CavySong]

Looking at your pics, I'd say in the last month there has been improvement in the "bents" and as much growth as can be expected in that short amount of time. I have a question, do you wear your hair down most of the time or put it up in a pony or bun?

[theflummox]

Niphredil: I... wow, this is tough. I hadn't considered that I'd have to cut my hair. My ends don't FEEL damaged though, they feels soft and and silky without any cones, so I don't understand why the splits are there. How many inches do you think I'd have to cut off?

CavySong: I do both. I'd say my hair is up half the time, but the buns and braids create such pretty waves that I just have to share with world! I always sleep with my hair protected though, and if I have my hair down during the day I make sure it's oiled and it doesn't get friction damage. Obviously, I put it up if it's windy.

[Niphredil]

Niphredil: I... wow, this is tough. I hadn't considered that I'd have to cut my hair. My ends don't FEEL damaged though, they feels soft and and silky without any cones, so I don't understand why the splits are there. How many inches do you think I'd have to cut off?


Well, if it still feels good, than maybe just accept the damage is there and be really gentle with your hair to prevent the damage from getting worse (and travelling up, I started out with color-damaged hair in 2003 and after a year or so, even the untreated hair started to split). Long hair will never be completely undamaged. The extent is determined by the general condition of the hair and the way it is treated (some heads of hair show damage even with the best of care, some heads of hair can take a lot and still be healthy). It is up to you how much damage you can 'live with' and when there is too much.

Damage just doesn't disappear, it has to be cut to remove it. It can be covered up (oils, slilicones etc) but not be mended.

HTH

[Alvrodul]

Old damage doesn't go away because you have decided to be nice to your hair. It is there until it is trimmed away.

Your hair sounds like my ends before this summer. I stopped using chemical colorings some years ago, and two years ago I discovered henna. Yet when I discovered LCH and joined up, there was still some chemical damage on my ends - the parts that had been chemically dyed before, had a lot of splits, and was in noticeably worse shape than the rest of my hair. Not that even those parts were in truly bad shape, really. But I was getting really tired of the never-ending split ends and tangled tips, so this spring I decided on a program to get rid of the chemically damaged hair, mainly with frequent trims. And this summer, I also visited a hairdresser, who trimmed away the last bits of chemical damage.
And my hair has been wonderful since then - there is still a certain amount of mechanical damage from my pre-LHC days, but that is nothing compared to the effect of the chemical damage!

I think you need to be patient, and accept that your damaged hair will eventually be trimmed away. Just keep up with the S&D - make a point of regular sessions. It may seem that you will come up with a never-ending crop of splits, and as long as there is damaged hair, splits will occur.
Also try to pamper your hair. It is obvious that coconut oil is not good for you as a leave-in, but have you tried it as a pre-shampoo treatment? I rather like to do a heavy oiling with coconut oil (or rather, a mix I make that is heavy on coconut oil) but for a leave-in, my favorite is Argan oil (yes, it is pricey, but my hair loves it!) or Nightblooming's Triple Moon oil (http://www.etsy.com/listing/81739191/triple-moon-hair-anointing-oil-12oz). It has a sunflower oil base, and you might consider trying it since you already have discovered that your hair likes sunflower oil. She also has samples (http://www.etsy.com/listing/78037260/natural-oil-samples-132-ounce) of various oils in case you wish to try out something without paying $$ for something your hair might not like. You might also try out her Panacea (http://www.etsy.com/listing/82657671/panaceas-hair-salve-leave-in-conditioner)on your ends - it worked wonders for me!

Also, does your hair get enough moisture? I would also suggest regular SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128)s. That is another thing my hair loves, and something that helps keep it healthy.

[BelleBot]

I'd say your hair was 1b possibly 1c as it's straight with a slight wave to it. :)
I just want to say your hair looks lovely. Just keep on pampering it, growing out damage is a long road, you need patience, as for whit dots and split ends if you do small microtrims of less than half an inch say every couple of months you should see an improvement. As for no growth, you may have just hit a stall. Given your thick ends there isn't any chance you've hit terminal, so don't worry about that.

[theflummox]

So I just trimmed about an inch off using Feye's method and my sharpest hair scissors. The ends feel nice and blunt and seem to tangle a bit less now. I'll keep doing this every couple months or so, until hopefully the damage is gone and my hair stops being layered.

Alvrodul: I love the smell of coconut oil, so I'm always trying to find a way to use it even if my hair doesn't like it. Unfortunately, if I try to use it as a pre-wash treatment it won't leave my hair. As in, I put on conditioner after the coconut oil has stayed in for a couple hours, and leave the conditioner on for another hour or so, and when I wash it off (after scrubbing my scalp, making a conditioner lather and fully washing it off) my hair is lanky, dull and oily. The only way I've found to use conditioner is with Ktani's shampoo method. Even then, my hair gets dull faster than normal.

Thank you for all your links and advice. I'll try to get samples of different oils and try them out. I haven't tried SMTs yet but I'll go grab some aloe vera get post haste!

BelleBot: Thank you for your encouragement :)

[WaitingSoLong]

Have you done a clarify since the days you were doing CO washes? Sulfate and cone free does not work for everyone. I would do a good clarify with a sulfate shampoo. Shampoo, let sit 5, rise, repeat one mor time. Follow with your sulfate free poo and cone free conditioner. Run a bit of your sunflower oil through it before it dries completely. I find this helps my "frizzies" tremendously.

I use cones to tame my splits because there is no way I can trim them all out.

You will want to do everything you can to reduce hair friction (silk pillowcases, etc.). Comb gently, etc. Probably stuff you have already read about on LHC.

The "bent" look is just your hair, it sounds like. You can try ways to remove the bending by blow drying on a low setting held at least 12" away or you can embrace it and do some braid waves to cover it.

IMO your hair is too thick to have reached terminal length. Possibly it is breaking due to damage but then it would be all kinds of uneven if you were actually loosing length to that. Hair only grows about 1/2" per month (average) and that is not something you can really "see" unless your hair is super short (pixie). Give it 6 months, reassess the growing issue. I measure my hair because I can never see any growth and I am glad I do because I would swear I had NO GROWTH the last 6 months if I did not measure and prove I did.

[theflummox]

WaitingSoLong: I forgot to clarify that part: I did clarify after the couple months of CO. But then the next time I CO my hair went back to being dull, so I though "oh well" and went off to try something different. Ktani's shampoo method seems to be working well so far, but I guess time will tell.

My hair has calmed down a lot. At some point in the years of abuse it went from being a benty mess to being straight with slight waves, which I don't mind. I actually like my hair now that it has grown out of awkward greasy teenage hair.

Thank you for your advice. I really love your hair, it makes me think of a fantasy story I read once where this strange woman would go around mesmerising people by using her long, blond hair :crush:

[Lucie159]

I think it has grown, not huge amounts, but it seems to be above the thick part of the bra strap in the first pic, and below the thick part of the bra strap in the second set of pics. It may not be great to you, but I think it looks healthy and if you give it time it will be everything you want it to be. GOOD LUCK!