How to watch your stylist during a cut

[buttercupmcgee]

I hate to read posts about botched haircuts. A person goes in for an inch and has ten taken off. I've had bad haircuts myself and it can be devastating.

But, there are ways to keep an eye on what your stylist is doing. I thought maybe we could share some tricks in the hopes of minimizing these sorts experiences among our members who've worked so hard to grow their length.

I've always been relatively outspoken at the salon, but since joining these forums I have learned to be even clearer (aka bossy:))

When I get a trim, I:

1. Ask her to show me with her fingers what she thinks half an inch looks like.

2. Ask her to touch my back with the scissors right where she's cutting the length, before she starts. (The trim should happen against the back anyway, according to my stylist friend. So, the added bonus for us is that we should be able to feel the scissors.)

3. Give her an actual landmark on my body where the longest layer should fall. Right now it's this beauty mark two inches below my collar bone. Soon it will be APL. I am not shy about reaching up and touching my hair throughout the cut to make sure it falls just below this mark when wet.

3. Watch very closely when she moves to the sides, to see how much hair is poking out of the scissors.

4. Ask her to pause intermittently to see how it looks. I ask for a mirror to suss out the back.

5. If I feel she's taken off enough length but she's still cutting, I tell her I don't want any more length off.

I basically badger her throughout the process, but I do it with a smile and a sense of humor--I poke fun at myself and make sure she knows it's me, not her. We joke around. I also find stylists tend to want to listen more when I approach it like "We're in this together. Don't make me any crazier than I already am!"

At the end of the day though it's my hair, I'm paying her, it's an hour of her life but I have to live with the cut, and most importantly, any stylist who doesn't respect what I want is free to miss out on my business.

I think sometimes the root of the issue is that we perhaps feel too shy to speak up or get really insistent with stylists. Make her (or him) take it slow. Have her show you where she is going to cut before she does. Don't be too shy to get up and walk out if you don't like her attitude or where they are cutting. If you feel she's taken enough off, tell her no more. Don't just let her hack away on you, you know? Watch like a hawk.

I think that between speaking up and careful monitoring, these stories about going in for a trim and having ten inches taken off can be minimized.

Anyone else have any tricks they use as insurance against hack jobs?

[cheetahfast]

My stylist and I have a pretty good relationship. I think if you find a good hairdresser that you won't need to "police" him or her.

During the consulation before my hair is even wet we talk about what I want, then once he's about to cut he checks with me to make sure if that is how much I want. The only time he cut more than I said I wanted him to was because my hair was damaged and I told him to cut off the damage to my collarbone, he told me he was going to cut it a bit shorter and cut it to my chin and said that it would grow out healthier from there...he was right, I have no splits and my hair is very healthy now :)

[buttercupmcgee]

My stylist and I have a pretty good relationship. I think if you find a good hairdresser that you won't need to "police" him or her.

During the consulation before my hair is even wet we talk about what I want, then once he's about to cut he checks with me to make sure if that is how much I want. The only time he cut more than I said I wanted him to was because my hair was damaged and I told him to cut off the damage to my collarbone, he told me he was going to cut it a bit shorter and cut it to my chin and said that it would grow out healthier from there...he was right, I have no splits and my hair is very healthy now :)

Totally agree on the relationship being key. I think though, that a lot of the horror stories about having 8 inches lopped off are coming from situations where the stylist is uncharted turf.

[irishlady]

I'm glad you started this thread, I am usually much to shy anything, but that results in them cutting layers which I do not want, I want it all the same length.

I was wondering, when they hold your hair out at angles and cut, this is how they cut the layers in, am I right? I'll have to watch out for this next time and stop them.

[jaine]

I have never had to micromanage a stylist like that and to be honest I wouldn't do it because it is not how I would want to be treated by a client when I'm working. I appreciate clear instructions, trust, and respect when I'm doing my job... I'm sure everyone else does too.

I get exactly what I want when I bring clear, unambiguous, written instructions and pictures. I don't even open my eyes during a haircut, but I still get exactly what I want - my instructions are just that good. And my stylist listens. If she weren't the listening type I wouldn't have chosen her.

There are 2 times in my life where I was disappointed with the result of a haircut or color service - and both times my instructions were ambiguous or vague. That was before I learned how to be unambiguous about it. In spite of that they both offered to adjust it for free.

[AnnaJamila]

These are great tips for the first time you've ever used a stylist!

One thing I used to do is bring measuring tape, show them how long it is, tell them how much I want cut and give them a 1 inch margin of error. I then ask if they think they can do the cut I want within that limit or if I need to choose something else. When it's all said and done, if the hair is too short for the amount they agreed to cut, I don't give them the amount of money I agreed to pay.

I have never once had to not pay someone; usually they end up right on the line. Just to be sure I cut my own hair now.

Some "warning" signs:

You sit in the chair and before touching or really looking through your hair they say, "Oh, no, your splits are way too bad for that; we'll have to cut off a lot more." Especially when you just did a complete search and destroy the day before that turned up zip. Sometimes hairdressers assume that long hair has lots of splits. It comes from experience, but the thing is a good stylist may be thinking this but they'll at least check to make sure before they say it.

The stylist appears distracted or refuses to give you their attention while you explain what you want, or *gasp* picks up the scissors and tries to cut while you're still talking.

Now, if a stylist tells you that the cut you want may not be the best to suit you, do listen to what they're saying. Ask them to explain why they think that. The response you want to hear is "If the layers hit here they'll make your face look wider" or "That cut would look beautiful, but you would have to be willing to _________ every morning," or something like that, not "One length hair is so booooooring!" or "Women look so much younger with a bob".

Also, make sure they understand the amount of processing you want to do with your hair. Long, round layers look fantastic on natural wavies and straighties/curlies willing to blow dry with a round brush (or damp bun or something), but someone with pin straight hair who wants to just wash and wear can look a little flat and ragged at the ends.

[spidermom]

Yes - lifting and pulling out at an angle means layers. Trims to the ends are done combing the hair straight down. The stylist, will, of course, need to pull your hair out a little away from your body, but that's very different than pulling out at a 45- or 90-degree angle.

I have a hard time understanding stories that go "wanted a trim, lost 8 inches and got short layers." Didn't you see what the stylist was doing? It's o.k. to say "STOP!" and "NO!"

[Mairéad]

I'm not a talker when I'm in the chair so I usually keep any and all conversation about my hair. I make sure she tells me what she's doing (since I can't see well) and if she's doing something I'm not familiar with I ask her. If it's something I didn't approve I'll stop her. I have some unwanted layers that another stylist gave me because of miscommunication but I did let my last girl give then a trim so they don't get so dry and grabby.

Yes, I do know what they do when they're giving layers but I never get to wear my glasses when I'm getting cut (don't have contacts) so I had to get used to what the lifting and direction "feels" like to determine what a stylist is doing. So, lesson learned. I just have crap-tasic layers to grow out of straight, straight hair *sigh* and I think once the shortest layer gets to shoulder I'll cut the taper back up to there and get me some one-length hair and have smooth sailing from there.

[Juneii]

My insurance against hackjobs is doing it myself. That said I don't know if I can police the hairstylist like that before a hair cut/trim. I don't think I would like it very much if I was monitored and harassed while I am doing my job. Just explain very clearly what you want done to your hair before the cut and watch the stylist through the mirror while she's cutting your hair. If it looks like she is doing something that you don't want (cutting too high) just ask them what they are doing and remind them that you only want a trim or whatever.

[rbooh]

"Don't make me any crazier than I already am!"

lol

I'm the same way at the nail salon, they hate when I come in :D BUT I ease the pain with generous tips.

I've decided to forgo hair salons for a year. No matter where you go they always want to chop chop chop.

[Ashenputtel]

Those are good tips.

The shampoo and condish thing was also bothering me. Now I go in there telling I have scalp problems (which is true) and that I can't use sulphates, mineral oil, parabens and such.

They now use samples of very expensive brands with essential oils in them when I go.
I also tell them to ONLY use wide tooth comb and to semi dry it with cold hair (she wasn't so trilled about that but did it anyway).

[Yame]

My insurance against hackjobs is doing it myself. That said I don't know if I can police the hairstylist like that before a hair cut/trim. I don't think I would like it very much if I was monitored and harassed while I am doing my job.

100% agreed!

[heartgoesboom]

someone who is too shy to speak up to a hairstylist will be too shy to do all that. all i do is remind them i want a small trim because i am growing my hair out and it works for me. lol but i know they are listening that i only want a small trim when they make me stand up so they can trim my hair.

[jujube]

I have a hard time understanding stories that go "wanted a trim, lost 8 inches and got short layers." Didn't you see what the stylist was doing? It's o.k. to say "STOP!" and "NO!"

This exactly. The only time I got a bad haircut, I literally told the guy to do what he wanted, that I just needed a change. Turns out we didn't exactly have the same idea of "a change".

[UltraBella]

I think badgering a stylist throughout a haircut is a good way to get a bad haircut. A stressed out, distracted stylist is the last thing you want, and exactly what you are likely creating.
There is a difference between giving clear and precise instructions and being a nuisance the entire time. My advice wuld be to cut your own hair.

[spidermom]

I have to agree with Ultra Bella. I was so paranoid when I first saw my current stylist and drove her to distraction with all my don't do this and don't do that. She said she was so tense when she did my hair that it was almost inevitable that she'd make a mistake (but she didn't). We've both relaxed a lot since then.

[buttercupmcgee]

I think badgering a stylist throughout a haircut is a good way to get a bad haircut. A stressed out, distracted stylist is the last thing you want, and exactly what you are likely creating.
There is a difference between giving clear and precise instructions and being a nuisance the entire time. My advice wuld be to cut your own hair.

I wasn't trying to imply that it's okay to annoy the bejesus out of a stylist, but I do think it's okay to periodically ask to see the back of your head, or if they are taking too much off, to speak up. To ask them to tap your back first, where they are cutting isn't that big of a deal in my mind.

That's all I meant. (ETA: Just to reiterate, I'm talking about a new stylist here. Hopefully we all find someone we love and to whom we can simply say "the usual" and then conk out with a magazine. That's what I have now, thankfully. But it took a little trial and error to find her!)

The reason I started this thread is because, like Spider Mom I feel like a lot of these stories of "And then I lost ten inches!" can be avoided with a wee amount of communication and vigilance with the stylist. Hopefully no one will take me up on every single tip within a 5 minute period, haha.

But a few can't hurt.

Also, I think they key for those who may be shy really is to keep the tone lighthearted. I always joke with them about how nuts I am. I've never had a stylist react badly to my neuroses because I'm pretty cheerful about it, and really grateful to them when they do me the solid of actually leaving the length.

For me, in the past, giving what I think are clear instructions at the beginning hasn't always panned out. I also prefer the way a professional cut looks on me over a home cut.

[einna]

My tips would be:
1. Be clear about what you want. Visual is good.
2. Watch for warning signs.
3. Pay attention while the hairdresser is cutting, you can say no.

I cut my own hair for the time beeing, as I like the experience and the controll now as I am growing long, and I am having problems finding a hairdresser that shares my current visions. ;)
But I wont be selftrimming forever. I like going to skilled hairdressers to get more fancy cuts than I can do myself.

Example of warning sign: I had a hairdresser ask me when I last had my hair cut, and then told me how much I would need cutt off only based on that information. No looking at my hair quality, aksing if i colour (I dont), and so on.

[irishlady]

Yes - lifting and pulling out at an angle means layers. Trims to the ends are done combing the hair straight down. The stylist, will, of course, need to pull your hair out a little away from your body, but that's very different than pulling out at a 45- or 90-degree angle.

I have a hard time understanding stories that go "wanted a trim, lost 8 inches and got short layers." Didn't you see what the stylist was doing? It's o.k. to say "STOP!" and "NO!"

Cool thanks Spidermom!

[Juicematic]

I don't really believe in badgering either. I tell them up front that I only want a very small amount trimmed. I never use the word cut. Ever. I tell them I want an inch and then they showhas their idea of an inch or they recommend more length off due to dead ends and I approve or say no. The stylist always shows me the hair being trimmed before they cut the first area. I approve or disapprove and we move on.

[spidermom]

I know there are a few stylists who will give you a style they think will look good regardless of what you say. My stylist told me about them. They want you to reflect their skill. I think that would back-fire, though. Who is going to walk out with something they didn't ask for and don't want, then give a recommendation?

[StephanieB]

I could never be bothered to badger a hairdresser like BMG suggested in the first post of this thread. (I understand she has slightly amended what she was saying since.)

I personally say:

1) Give clear, brief, and precise instructions, making use of a ruler or tape measure.

2) Tell the hairdresser what (if any) repercussions will ensue if she cuts far more off than you asked her to do. Or cuts layers you don't want. Et cetera. I used to tell her, "Here's the ruler, see what one inch really looks like. If you cut more than about two inches off, I am not going to pay you." and/or "I understand that you believe that I will look better with face-framing layers... but I do not want layers." In reality, if I gave a stylist an inch leeway verbally, I wouldn't refuse to pay unless she took more like two or more inches off than I'd asked her for. I was 'generous' in that sense... and still, there were plenty of times I refused to pay for a butcher job of inches more than I wanted off; I communicate quite clearly. (some say brusquely - lol)

3) Try to pay attention to what your hairdresser is doing to your hair - not chitchatting to her or anyone else. I'm legally blind without my glasses, which always had to come off for a haircut when it was shorter... but I still tried to follow the movement of the stylist's body for reference points, and did ask to stop and check with a mirror to make sure the back was' getting too short.



Thankfully, now, my hair is long enough that I must stand up for a dusting or microtrim, and I can wear my glasses. :cheese:

[Red Rapunzel]

I think taking a trusted friend with you can be helpful! Also - never let your stylist cut your hair when he or she is angry about something. If they are enraged about something - come back a different time. Never lead them into a "hot topic" while they are cutting your hair. I have noticed the angrier they get, the more they cut!

[StephanieB]

Also - never let your stylist cut your hair when he or she is angry about something. If they are enraged about something - come back a different time. Never lead them into a "hot topic" while they are cutting your hair. I have noticed the angrier they get, the more they cut!
Too true! -----

[WinterButterfly]

I had the bad experience of always ending up with layers when I wanted some trimmed off the bottom. Layers only end up giving me poof on the bottom without adding volume to the top. So I don't like them on me. But the barber down the street (who is a friend) cut my hair straight across for me. It was nice and simple. (He usuallt refuses to cut hair on females because they always want complicated styles. And since he is retired he only cuts haibecause he wants to. If he doesn't like you, he won't take your business. He's such a funny old guy. And that straight across cut he did, he did it for free. (I did give him some leftover pasteries from work the following day as a thank you though)

[amyhenna]

When I used to get trims at salons (I now do it myself), I used to tell them that I was easily freaked out by change, and that my ideal trim was to have it look the same when I walked out as when I walked in. I said if I could see a difference, I'd get really freaked out.

They seemed to respond well to the idea of a customer freaking out (a.k.a. they didn't want to experience that), so they trimmed my hair as little as possible to avoid a customer catastrophe.

When I was younger, and more trusting, I'd had one or two of those episodes with people who take off more than you expect, and I found that scaring the salonist against my reaction- which was easy because I just being honest about what would happen if they cut too much or colored too brassy or dark or red or light- was good incentive for them to keep my hair status quo, and not give me any surprises.

[ellen732]

I have never had an experience with paranoid clients before, thank goodness. I understand that people have had bad experiences, but to bring a friend to keep an eye on a stylist, and to asked to be turned around periodically, I find this strange. I understand that to have your hair cut by someone else means you are at their mercy, but from a stylists point of view, I think these methods are not going to allow you to find someone you can have a working relationship with in the future since you are already so distrusting of anyone cutting your hair. And the scare tactic that I read above, I would have to say that if someone told me they may "freak out" in my chair if they see a difference, and since I am cutting I believe they would, I wouldn't even entertain that client and let them sit in my chair.

[Yame]

I think badgering a stylist throughout a haircut is a good way to get a bad haircut. A stressed out, distracted stylist is the last thing you want, and exactly what you are likely creating.
There is a difference between giving clear and precise instructions and being a nuisance the entire time. My advice wuld be to cut your own hair.

This is my sentiment. If you're really going to be super picky, just do it yourself. No one wants a client who nags them the entire time they are trying to do their job, and this is the case for any profession.

If you MUST go to a stylist, then go to a long hair-friendly salon or a long-haired stylist, be specific about what you want, and let them do their thing. You are less likely to get someone who doesn't understand your goals that way. Sometimes different salons and stylists are better at different things, so if you can, find someone who "specializes" in what you need.

If you can't, then another idea is to appeal to their emotions. When you come in for your appointment, say what you want, and say "just so you know, my hair grows very slowly... I am really trying to grow it longer, so it's very important that you cut only a little bit... I can't afford to lose a lot of length," and say it nicely. That makes it very clear that this is important to you, without being too naggy. Then, leave them alone, unless of course something unusual is going on.

Otherwise, just do it yourself. Past a certain length, it's really not that hard. I find that it saves me a lot of potential stress doing it myself, because my hair DOES grow slowly so I just can't risk having someone else cut it, plus I really am so picky, I am almost never happy with the things other people do on me whether it's hair, makeup, nails, or even waxing, so I mostly opt to do these things myself.

I also hate having to set aside time for an appointment (I hardly ever have a free evening and when I do, I want to chill), having to drive out of my way, wait, and then sit around while someone else works on me, and then drive back. It adds up to a lot of time, and I already HAVE to do it 3 times a year (doctor, gyno, dentist) which is more than I would like, so I am not about to willingly do it when I don't have to.

Yes, I sound like a horrible person. It's not like I complain to these people and act all nitpicky to them, but in my mind I am thinking about the money and time I wasted, how I could have done a better job, and I just feel really bad and frustrated with the situation (not at the person in particular). But still, it's kind of horrible. I am glad not everyone is like me, otherwise my mom (who is a hairdresser) would be out of a job. But I am the way I am, so the best thing I can do is do everything myself and not bother someone else with it.