Honest, honest opinions, please!

[Beaglebuddy]

http://i1184.photobucket.com/albums/z327/Emmalee71/100_0945-1.jpg
I am 6 months into trying to go a year without trimming, just tiny tiny microtrims. My hair grows fairly normally I guess but because of the body, it shrinks up a little too.
Please do not be afraid of hurting my feelings!
Do I need to cut?
Any tips to make my hair healthy looking?
Just tell me what your opinion is of it, whether good or bad. Maybe I can work from there.

I have been on this board asking the same type of questions before but I always like to get fresh opinions. Sorry if you have heard it before!
I really don't know if my hair is damaged, I don't use any chemicals, just commercial s/c. I do wash daily rotating sles and sulfate-free s/c. (I do dilute my shampoo a bit with water too, in my hand). This is something I can't get past, i just feel my hair needs to be clean everyday to go to work. I go into people's homes as a PSW and some are not very clean, and some are smokers too. CO made my hair fall out

[luxepiggy]

I don't think you need a cut, your hemline looks quite healthy! Do you experience any problems with dryness due to your wash schedule? If so perhaps CWC would be something to look into (^(oo)^)v

[jojo]

I don't think you need a trim but your hair does look a tad dry. Have you ever considered CO washing? I think you have the ideal hair to do this with. I think you have lovely body and a nice thick hem.

It actually looks very similar to mine when it need moisture. It looks very fine but thickish and id guess you to be 2b/c F ii or even a serum might help separate those hidden curls and waves. Great starting point!

[HairFaerie]

I agree with the others so far....it doesn't look like it needs trimmed, it seems very thick & healthy. I also agree it that it looks a bit dry. Have you looked into The Curly Girl Method? Or perhaps some deep moisture treatments?

It looks like you have a beautiful curl pattern waiting to come out! :)

[ssjhotau2]

Have you tried doing CWC? That has helped the health of my hair by leaps and bounds. I also very very rarely use sulfates and cones. I love Giovanni s/c.

Your hair doesn't look damaged, just maybe a little dry, which CWC and moisture treatments like SMT could do wonders to how you feel about your hair.

I would suggest focusing on moisture and then putting it up and ignoring it.

While my hair was between shoulder and BSL I struggled daily with cutting it. Now that I'm approaching Hip I find I'm much happier with my hair even though its not really much different. It just seems that when my hair was shorter I wanted SOMETHING to happen. Getting from APL to BSL took so long because I kept trying to make it perfect, but I was never going to be happy with it at that length. I finally had to just keep it up and out of my way so that I couldn't touch it or look for damage.

[jaine]

I think your hair should not be brushed like that - it's curly and it would look better if you let it clump and form curls. A search for "curly girl method" would be useful.

[Xi]

Jealous of your thick curls/wurls! :)

[jaine]

PS. I wish people would not jump to the conclusion that it's dry. It's curly hair that has been brushed. That has nothing to do with the moisture level. My hair looks just as fuzzy as that when I brush it, even though my hair is somewhat over-moisturized at the moment.

[Anje]

I think your hair looks healthy, but that you should try not brushing or combing it once it's dry. Let it form defined ringlets instead of a fluffy mass.

[Beaglebuddy]

thanks for your opinions, this is helpful. Noone around here tells me anything about my hair and I am afraid I am walking around with a bale of straw for hair. (needless to say, low self esteem !:p)
Sometimes my hair does feel dry. I had just done a Lush Henna and that and cassia both make my hair feel dry. I really think that might be making it drier looking.
But yes this is what I want to hear, if it looks dry, etc. I am going to try and change that.

CO washing does not work, it made my hair fall out. I don't think my scalp likes conditioner. My hair loved it but scalp no, I don't think it likes oils all that much either.

I do CWC once or twice a week, other times I just use a sulfate-free shampoo. I guess I should use CWC then too, but I haven't yet.

I really don't know whether it's fine or not. I don't think it's coarse, other than when it feels dry sometimes it feels a little coarse but that's not all the time. Sometimes it does feel really soft with the right products.

jaine - i know i shouldn't comb it out(I almost rarely use a brush, just a denman before i get in the shower.) but it tangles and I comb it to keep tangles out. But i will try and just leave it as it dries.

i will give CWC a try every night and see if that helps.

[Beaglebuddy]

Thanks anje, I am going to try and leave it alone and see how it works.

[jaine]

Yeah, a comb will have the same effect as a brush (breaking up the clumps and making it look puffy and fuzzy). A wide-tooth comb while it's wet is probably fine but then try to leave the clumps alone when it's drying and after it's dry - not even finger-combing. Bring us back a picture of how that looks ... then we can help fine-tune if needed.

[Alex Lou]

CO makes your hair fall out... That just doesn't make any sense. If so, then we'd all be using conditioner to remove unwanted body hair. Maybe when you were COing you also went off silicones, which allowed the hair that was ready to shed to shed instead of being glued to your scalp by silicone? If so, then that's natural, and your scalp was actually cleaner and healthier with CO.

I agree that Curly Girl is the way to go. It involves CO, but don't be afraid of CO. It will not hurt your hair.

If you just want to look more stylish, I recommend a V hemline.

[jojo]

I hope you don't think I meant dry as in straw like because I didn't I mean dry as in fluffy. sorry if I offended you, it wasn't my intention. I was just saying it looked like all it needed was a bit of moisture :)

[amantha]

I agree with others that your looks healthy and does not need to be trimmed, but it does look a little dry. Do you use any leave-in conditioners? My hairs gets pretty frizzy if I don't and I find they really make a difference. I've been using L'oreal's EverStrong leave-in conditioner about a week or so and oh man, it makes my hair...especially my ends so soft! I'm also a fan of Chi's silk infusion.

[Jezerellica]

Others have had great ideas. I agree most with the idea of looking into "Curly Girl" Method. Your ends look good. I'd like mine to look that nice! Good luck! And no, just because no one around you is talking about your hair, does not mean it looks ike a "Bale of straw"!! :p lol. You are funny! I just asked a fellow LHCr for a true opinion and it feels good getting it! Friends and close relatives are not going to give it to you straight as they do not want to hurt your feelings! Happy hair growing! :pumpkin:

[Melisande]

You hair looks full and wavy and lovely, but indeed a tad dry. I'd dilute properly, with a bottle, and add two thirds of water to one third shampoo.

And overnight, I'd oil with coconut oil. On weekends, leave on the oil for a while.

But that's all. I like your hair!

[Beaglebuddy]

jojo- no! you didn't offend at all, this is what i asked for and I really appreciate your opinion! I really have a problem with thinking people are thinking things about my hair (and other things too) and I always imagined people seeing it as straw. It was not anything you said at all.

jaine - I will do that! Thanks for your help.

Alex Lou - i don't know why but CO really seemed to make tons of hair come out. And even now conditioner just after shampooing is when the hair comes out most. And if I do an oil treatment, tons of hairs seem to come off in my hand when I put the oil on my hair. I don't know why. But it would be worth giving it another go and see what happens. I know it has to be healthier. But you know, even sulfate-free shampoos I cannot go completely sulfate-free, I have to rotate with shampoos with SLES. It is odd.
My hair seems to hate cones.

[Beaglebuddy]

amantha - I will look in to leave-in conditioners, I was just thinking maybe that is what it needs. I tried using oiling and I always ended up looking greasy but an actual leave-in may help!

Jezerellica - it really does feel good to get honest opinions. It helps! You can't fix something if you don't know what's actually wrong.

Melisande - thank you for your help. I do an oil treatment once or twice a week but only for an hour in evening, as I wash my hair at night. I get up too early in am, and I work every other weekend. So on my weekend off I will squeeze an oil treatment in for 12 hours, that should help.

[CarpeDM]

It doesn't look like you need to cut to me...

[Badwolf]

i don't know why but CO really seemed to make tons of hair come out.

Is it that it's actually causing your hair to fall out, or just that with conditioner in your hair the shed hairs come out more easily so it seems like you're losing more hair than when you use shampoo?

I know for me, if I use just water or shampoo in my hair in the shower very few hairs will come out when I run my fingers through it, but when it's covered with conditioner it adds lots of slip to the hair, and I'm able to remove more of the shed hairs.

[jaine]

I hope you don't think I meant dry as in straw like because I didn't I mean dry as in fluffy. sorry if I offended you, it wasn't my intention. I was just saying it looked like all it needed was a bit of moisture :)

I wasn't offended I just think it's a common misconception that fluffy hair is "dry." That's not necessarily true. Curly hair, when brushed, will always looks frizzy and fluffy - regardless of its moisture level. It might be dry or perfectly balanced or overmoisturized. There's really no way to tell just by looking at the fluffiness of it.

[Faepirate]

I think your hair looks very healthy :)

And I don't think it looks frizzy or dry at all, personally. As a couple of others pointed out, that's just what curly hair looks like when it's been brushed or combed. I actually like that look. I guess it's a personal preference though, because I know most of the curlies on this forum prefer their hair in clumpy curls. I like mine both ways, but there's nothing wrong with brushing it... it still looks neat and pretty, IMO.

[Beaglebuddy]

CarpeDM - thank you, I am trying to hold out for 1 year. That will be March 2012.

Badwolf - the more I am thinking back, it could be just shed hairs coming out more. Another thing though, it made my hair flatter and thus thinner. My hair is quite thin, my braid length is hardly wider than a pencil. Hard to believe with all the volume I can get.
The flatter and thinner thing was probably what made me stop doing CO, now that I think of it. Especially at the top (front of my hair), it got pretty flat and sometimes it looked almost flat to my head. My length could use the flattening, but not on the top.

[Beaglebuddy]

Thank you Faepirate! I wish mine looked like yours. Your curls look soft and very moisturized. I do like the looks of the clumpy curls on here too, I will try it and see.

[jojo]

jojo- no! you didn't offend at all, this is what i asked for and I really appreciate your opinion! I really have a problem with thinking people are thinking things about my hair (and other things too) and I always imagined people seeing it as straw. It was not anything you said at all.

jaine - I will do that! Thanks for your help.

Alex Lou - i don't know why but CO really seemed to make tons of hair come out. And even now conditioner just after shampooing is when the hair comes out most. And if I do an oil treatment, tons of hairs seem to come off in my hand when I put the oil on my hair. I don't know why. But it would be worth giving it another go and see what happens. I know it has to be healthier. But you know, even sulfate-free shampoos I cannot go completely sulfate-free, I have to rotate with shampoos with SLES. It is odd.
My hair seems to hate cones.
good id hate to think id hurt anybody's feeling, it looks nothing like straw so dont think that. Maybe try a smt or overnight evoo treatment too if you havent already xx

[Libbylou]

Hair envy here!!! I would love to have your hair. But I we always want what we don't have. I have super straight fine hair. Your ends look good to me. But then I kinda new learning every day(thank you LHC). It looks healthy and beautiful.

[MrsGuther]

I think your hemline looks great! I don't think you're in need of a trim. I have curly/wavy hair too and mine looks just like that when I brush it.

[Badwolf]

Badwolf - the more I am thinking back, it could be just shed hairs coming out more. Another thing though, it made my hair flatter and thus thinner. My hair is quite thin, my braid length is hardly wider than a pencil. Hard to believe with all the volume I can get.
The flatter and thinner thing was probably what made me stop doing CO, now that I think of it. Especially at the top (front of my hair), it got pretty flat and sometimes it looked almost flat to my head. My length could use the flattening, but not on the top.

That sounds like it might have been caused by buildup. Were you using a conditioner with silicones?

[Beaglebuddy]

Thank you so much guys!
Here's a pic from when I was 12-13. Maybe with these tips I can get my hair back to this condition! This was before I was shampooing daily, I didn't start this until I was in my 20's.
http://i1184.photobucket.com/albums/z327/Emmalee71/1980s.jpg

[Beaglebuddy]

Badwolf - no I made sure to cut out all 'cones when I was CO. Maybe I used way too much conditioner?

[Yozhik]

Regarding the brushing while dry to get tangles out -- in my experience as someone with wavy hair, if I want to wurls to be defined, I comb my hair in the shower with tons of conditioner to get the tangles out, and then make sure not to touch it at all while it's drying. That method should give you nice defined curls, and since you say you wash every day, you don't really need to brush your dry hair, because the next day you can just wash it again and get the tangles from the day before out. At least that's what I would do. :)

I hope that helps, and I really do think you have quite pretty hair! Don't have such low self esteem -- it looks really soft and pretty. :flower:

Oh, and I definitely don't think it needs a trim -- luckily for those of us who have wavy or curly hair, the hemline doesn't have to/need to be straight because curls pull it upwards. :)

[Beaglebuddy]

thanks Yozhik I am going to try and comb it less. One thing, I wear it up in a braid to work, so it is up a good part of the day and as someoneelse told me, I can just forget about it when it's up. It is while it is drying and then when I put it up in the braid that I comb it so much.

[xoxophelia]

If you are wearing it in a braid I don't think you need to worry too much about the curly girl method for those days. I'm sure it looks just fine when braided. I would suggest maybe a few drops of an oil like extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, or jojoba oil through your hair before you braid it. That will help with shine and keep the hair healthy.

[Coan-Teen]

I do also agree that you shouldn't be shampooing the length. Maybe you could only shampoo the scalp, either with CW and skip the last C since your scalp doesn't like it, or just by making a pony on the top of your head to keep the shampoo off the length. I tend to think the length of anyone's hair rarely needs to be shampooed at all, and scalp only shampooing with length conditioning might help fix the flatness you seemed to have on the CO method.

[mom2fourgirls]

no it looks beautiful the way it is :)

[Beaglebuddy]

Thank you guys!

xoxophelia - I wear my hair up in a braid most days, the only time I don't is on the Saturday I am off, which is every other. I am a little leery of oils as any time I have tried them they have made my hair so greasy but if I got a really light one, it might work. Thanks for your suggestion, jojoba oil may work and I do have some, I also have macadamia oil. I wonder which is lighter?

Coan-Teen - I will try your ponytail idea to keep shampoo off the length. Sometimes i have just shampooed scalp and let the water wash it down the lengths, I don't know if that is any gentler than shampooing the whole bit or not.

mom2fourgirls - thank you!

[Annibelle]

I understand the shedding with CO thing-- it does the same for me! But I recently washed with shampoo and my shedding is now back to normal. I guess maybe my follicles were clogging with oil? Anyway, I'm back on CO now and everything is good. :) Were you using a heavy conditioner on your scalp? Maybe you have very small follicles and they clog easily. :) Either way, your hair is pretty! My hair is only wavy, not curly, and it gets quite fluffy when I comb it, making it look dry when it's not. But if your hair IS dry, maybe try putting in a small amount of oil? Or finding a heavier conditioner? :) Good luck! :flower:

[Beaglebuddy]

Thanks Annibelle for your help. I don't know if the conditioners I used on my scalp were heavy or not, but I always used ones that had protein or were volumizing. I think maybe they weren't heavy? It could be that my follicles clog easily because I know oils on my scalp are pretty much as bad as conditioner. As i rub oil/conditioner through my hair, I will have a handful of hairs coming off in my hand.

[sisi33]

Beaglebuddy, you're hair looks EXACTLY like my Mums'... Although your's is MUCH longer. Truthfully, it looks a little dry, but mostly looks like you brushed it some :shrug: A SMT might help some with that.

Your hemline also looks very nice!

[cmg]

Thank you so much guys!
Here's a pic from when I was 12-13. Maybe with these tips I can get my hair back to this condition! This was before I was shampooing daily, I didn't start this until I was in my 20's.
Yowza! There are some curles waiting to come out! And I agree with the people before. You have great hair and there is no need to trim. Leave your curls alone and let them prosper :) without shampooing in the lengths, at least not every time.

Same problems here actually. I started using shampoos when they came on the market and they ruined my hair and curl pattern for a long time. You just have to find the right products that work for you. And also, hair doesnt stay the same forever throughout life. You may have to change products sometimes as your hair changes.


As i rub oil/conditioner through my hair, I will have a handful of hairs coming off in my hand.
This is typical I think, for curly or wavy hair. Condish and oils make the hairs smoother and all the shed hair that otherwise would stay in the hair goes out all at once instead. I would give it another chance. Try some other products. I have had great help from a method I found here on LHC: List 5-6 first ingredients of the products you like and dont like respectively and compair them. After a while you will know which substance has what effect on your hair and scalp.

[Demetrue]

Your hair looks fine. Your hemline looks thick and healthy. You do not have to put conditioner on your scalp at all. You could put on conditioner from the ears down to the ends, then gently wash the scalp with diluted shampoo.

[pepperminttea]

Your hair looks good to me, nice thick hemline. And for the future, fairytale ends always look the nicest on wurly hair anyway. ;)

[MsBubbles]

Umpteenthing the 'no need to cut' sentiment! You have an enviable hemline! I have no advice about how to take care of curly hair though, so I'll leave that up to the others. :)

[newbeginning]

I agree with others that it looks a bit dry (I have the same problem). It looks very nice.

[Blackfire]

Your ends look great so I wouldnt cut... your hair looks a lot like mine when I dont fuss over it after a wash.... Maybe just needs more moisture? or maybe a protien pack? maybe just use a heavier leave in and dont touch it while it dries??? Looks great honestly but theres always room for improvement so I hope that helps!

[jaine]

I agree with others that it looks a bit dry (I have the same problem). It looks very nice.

I think what you mean is that her hair looks fluffy. Curly hair, when brushed, looks fluffy. That's just the nature of curly hair. It happens regardless of moisture level. There's really no way to tell if her hair needs moisture just by looking at that picture.

There are 2 ways to make curly hair look less fluffy: 1) Stop brushing and combing it, or 2) Make it less curly.

ETA: I really want people to understand that fluffy hair is not necessarily dry so please see my pictures below for proof. These are all recent pictures of me - same hair, same washing routine, same moisture level. My hair is not dry in any of these pictures. The only difference is how I styled it.

natural hair texture, brushed ... looks "dry," right?
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=4650&pictureid=88456

same hair, dried in a bun to straighten it:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=6736&pictureid=89706

same hair, air-dried with gel, no brushing or combing:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=6736&pictureid=109939

[Beaglebuddy]

Hi jaine - thanks for showing your pics, although I don't think your hair looks dry at all even in the brushed one. They all look beautiful. But I am taking your advice and tonight i am not going to comb my hair at all after my shower. I did detangle just before getting out. I am just itching to run a comb through it though as it dries, so I guess this will take some training.

thanks everyone for your opinions! It all has been so helpful.

[MinderMutsig]

CO makes your hair fall out... That just doesn't make any sense. If so, then we'd all be using conditioner to remove unwanted body hair. Maybe when you were COing you also went off silicones, which allowed the hair that was ready to shed to shed instead of being glued to your scalp by silicone? If so, then that's natural, and your scalp was actually cleaner and healthier with CO.

I agree that Curly Girl is the way to go. It involves CO, but don't be afraid of CO. It will not hurt your hair.

If you just want to look more stylish, I recommend a V hemline. CO makes me shed like crazy and I lost nearly an inch in circumference so yeah, it makes my hair fall out too.

There is no perfect method for everyone. What works for some, doesn't work for others.

[Beaglebuddy]

Here's my hair airdrying, no combing (AAGH! I have been programmed to comb my hair, it's killing me) Also I think my hair has shrunk since I didn't comb it out! Oh, I also did CWC!
http://i1184.photobucket.com/albums/z327/Emmalee71/100_0984.jpg

[celebriangel]

That looks great! You can, if you like, use some aloe vera gel on damp hair to help the curls come out.

Mostly, though, I damp bun to relax my curls because then I *can* comb and brush (to put my hair up) without dealing with massive poof.

CWC is a good idea for curls, and you can try diluting your shampoo more, too. Not the sulphate-free one, but the SLS one. SLS is a very potent chemical which will clean well in amounts far smaller than the amount in shampoo, so you can get an empty bottle, add a bit of shampoo and lost of water, shake and apply.

With this method you may have to do a bit more massage to add an element of mechanical cleansing and make sure the shampoo got everywhere, but that's good. I'll third, fourth or whatever the idea of keeping the shampoo on your scalp only (CWC is designed to protect the length by applying conditioner, then shampooing with the conditioner on your length, so that when you rinse out the shampoo it travels down the length, removing the conditioner but not drying the length).

[Beaglebuddy]

Thanks celebriangel I will try the aloe vera gel.
My length definitely didn't feel as stripped with the CWC, so i will give it a go.

[hanne jensen]

DO...NOT...CHOP! Your hair is very pretty. Micro-trimming (dusting) seems to be working wonderfully for you.

[Yosha]

Your hair looks beautiful! The hemline looks great too, so obviously the microtrims are working for you. Actually I like fairytale ends on curly hair when it's longer, but that's just a matter of taste;) It does look a bit brushed out in the first picture, I don't think you need to brush/comb after it's dry like you're experimenting with right now.

You already got a lot of tips concerning the fluff, and I think experimenting with oils on your length would be a good idea. From what I can tell by reading, your hair could be overfed easily. You could experiment with a little heavier conditioner, but a very heavy one could be too much. Almond oil is a light oil in my opinion, if the other oils are too heavy you may want to give that a try. I oil prewash myself, and leaving it a bit longer during the weekends as you say sounds like a good plan to me:D

[torrilin]

Corkscrews! BIG corkscrews :D

That is so pretty!

[Beaglebuddy]

Thanks so much everyone!
Yosha - yes my hair very easily does get weighed down. I was using olive oil for a long time as my oil treatment and this past winter, my hair was flat and stringyish, so I had to quit with olive oil. I did love it at one time.
I usually have to find a conditioner that is sort of in between: not too heavy, but not light either.
Right now I love Ojon Restorative Hair treatment and use it like an oil treatment 2-3 times a week. (Not sure if it's classified as an oil treatment but I think it works like one).

[Alex Lou]

Here's my hair airdrying, no combing (AAGH! I have been programmed to comb my hair, it's killing me) Also I think my hair has shrunk since I didn't comb it out! Oh, I also did CWC!
http://i1184.photobucket.com/albums/z327/Emmalee71/100_0984.jpg
Wow, what a difference! How did it look after it dried out? From the first photo you posted, I had assumed that you were older, but this one makes me think that you're younger.

[Beaglebuddy]

Hi. Here's another post showing my hair after it dried,
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=79418
I think the CWC and even just leaving my hair alone while it dries makes it look better than the combed out look.
By the way, I am almost 40, i do agree that the first picture makes me look older because my hair is drier.

[thelittlestdoc]

I also recommend COwashing--from the looks of it, we have fairly similar texture and it's made a world of difference in the look and feel of my hair.