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View Full Version : Feeling discouraged about conventional views of long hair - rant inside.



Jinglelocks
September 29th, 2011, 10:15 AM
Brief Background Info: I've got 1a brunette hair that goes to my lower back/top of my bum, well-maintained blunt cut ends, and am in the process of growing out my bangs that by some miracle swirl seamlessly into the rest of my hair. (Yay for the graceful stage of growing out your bangs, haha!)

So, today I got into a discussion about long hair with a friend. It came into the discussion that my friend's younger sister, a fresh-into-college rebellious party girl, doesn't like my hair. According to this girl, if I want long hair, I should wear it only to my mid-bicep in length because "any longer than that looks bad". (AKA, my choice to keep long hair looks bad in her opinion.) I'm not really surprised that she was sneering about me behind my back, because she does that to everyone. I had two conflicting feelings: 1.) oh now I suddenly feel a wave of self-consciousness and sadness for someone disliking how I look, and 2.) oh hell no you did NOT just insult my hair! (z-snap) My friend of course defended me, saying, "Well you gotta admit even if you don't like it, she's doing that length right." (Thank you friend.) Still, hearing that someone said that really crumpled my self esteem.

I am just feeling sort of bad about myself now, wondering if maybe I should just chop my hair to my bicep. I don't think I will, because I bet I'll regret that terribly, but I just hate all of this... hate. I like my long hair. I enjoy how it looks and feels, I like its versatility, I like that it is unique, I like when people play with it. What's wrong with me, and other people, keeping their hair long? I keep it shiny and healthy. Yes, I wear it down 90% of the time so it is a very distinct look. I know that it would be less noticeable if I wore it in a bun more often. But it isn't offensive. My hair is not meant to be a flowing middle finger to people who prefer to wear their hair in a more conventional way.

My hair is the way it is because it pleases me, and to hear a person imply that I am not utterly aware of my hair makes me frustrated. What she said implies that my long hair was not as deliberate a CHOICE as her short shredded wheat layers. I also found it hypocritical of this young lady because she takes rather horrific care of her own hair, pumping it full of chemical dyes, teasing/backcombing it, 'cones, daily heat styling and blow-drying... how dare she, o' unlearned of the ways of healthy hair maintenance, imply that my hair is somehow unplanned?! (Pretend that I said that last sentence in a goofy tone of voice LOL)

Another tangent while I am at it. My friend, the one who tried to defend my honor to her gossipy sister, said at the end of the conversation that she absolutely hates it when guys keep their hair long. I said, "What if it is well-maintained, with neat ends?" She was like, "Never! You can bet that my husband will never have long hair."

I thought that was interesting because this friend wears her hair in an ultra-short bob (chin length in front, short short short in back) and for some reason many blokes dislike hair that drastically short on women. I'm sure there is some fellow out there saying, "Never! You can bet that my wife will never have short hair!" And then I thought the two might be utterly compatible but would never know it because of their determination not to date people with certain hair lengths... my imagination ran away with me.

Anyways, if you read this whole thing thanks for sticking around. I just needed to get these feelings off my chest in an environment where I wouldn't get flak for supporting long hair styles and sporting one myself.

UPDATE: The passion of the incident was over a mere hour or two after posting this. Thanks for the comments. The topic is rather exhausted, so if you want to contribute please read all of the comments in the thread before posting - chances are high that it might already have been said! :thumbsup:

Intransigentia
September 29th, 2011, 10:23 AM
You know, I like that thing about the "flowing middle finger"! Maybe that's not what you mean for your hair to be, but it sounds like that's exactly what it is to young Ms Catty. Who, incidentally, deserves the REAL middle finger for her attitude.

Mairéad
September 29th, 2011, 10:28 AM
A lot of people let others form their opinions about what looks good instead/age appropriate/I could go on.

It 'x' hair stylist or fashion icon says "this. this. and that." many people will rinse and repeat without once debating whether they agree with it or not. They may say, "Well, that person is a fashion icon. Certainly they know what's right."

But anything in life is rarely black and white, though a lot of people think in black and white.

I think this kind of group think applies to a lot of things other than hair. People try to make rules. You have people constantly trying to fight natural body types (which ever way they naturally are) and many who wear clothes because they're "in" and not so much because it's their personal style.

Cassie 123
September 29th, 2011, 10:30 AM
Your hair sounds lovely. Please don't cut it!

Everybody has different preferences. You can't please everyone. That's really the whole story.

Ideally, I think, your friend would not have given her sister's comments enough weight to share with you. To me, that's where the tact system broke down.

PinkyCat
September 29th, 2011, 10:39 AM
Yay "flowing middle finger"!! :rockerdud

owlathena
September 29th, 2011, 10:39 AM
Another tangent while I am at it. My friend, the one who tried to defend my honor to her gossipy sister, said at the end of the conversation that she absolutely hates it when guys keep their hair long. I said, "What if it is well-maintained, with neat ends?" She was like, "Never! You can bet that my husband will never have long hair."

I thought that was interesting because this friend wears her hair in an ultra-short bob (chin length in front, short short short in back) and for some reason many blokes dislike hair that drastically short on women. I'm sure there is some fellow out there saying, "Never! You can bet that my wife will never have short hair!" And then I thought the two might be utterly compatible but would never know it because of their determination not to date people with certain hair lengths... my imagination ran away with me.




Hahahahaha :D

Kiwiwi
September 29th, 2011, 10:40 AM
Oh hell no! You did NOT just think about letting other people decide how you should look and wear you hair! (z snap)
Haha, that z-snap made me laugh out loud. I didn't know it had a name ^_^

In al seriousness though. I understand your need to vent and if you can do it anywhere it's here. But really, hun. I see you defending your hair and your choices. You just don't need to! Let people talk! We all have our opinions and some are just not so tactful in sharing them. Brush it off and be confident. I know it's frustrating when people think something just happend while you worked HARD to achieve it. But as long as YOU know that your hard work has payed off and it makes you happy. That's all that matters.

Always remember; those who mind don't matter, those who matter don't mind.

Haters gonna hate...

http://i770.photobucket.com/albums/xx350/KiwisHouse/5008_9c00_420.gif

Jing
September 29th, 2011, 10:41 AM
People who want to complain will find things to complain about. If everyone had the same hair length, they'd complain about people who parted their hair on the "wrong" side. I think it's an offshoot of xenophobia - things that are different make people uncomfortable. Familiar things make us feel safe, unfamiliar things make us feel unsure, which we don't like, which makes us resent said things. Everyone has this tendency to some degree, just like we all have more or less of the tendency to become unsure when other people voice disapproval of what we're doing, but some people react very badly indeed. I tend to pity people who are that bothered by how other people look. It must be very frustrating.

spidermom
September 29th, 2011, 10:42 AM
Maybe you can adopt my attitude. The more other people disapprove of my long hair, the more I love it. I'm rebellious like that.

(I must admit that I've heard very few negative comments about my hair, however.)

Ermine
September 29th, 2011, 10:42 AM
To each their own. In both men and women I have seen such varying opinions about hair from long to short, chock full of layers to no layers, bleached blonde to pitch black, straight to afro, that there's no way there's a consensus. And when there's no consensus, do whatever you like best! I'm kind of in a similar but different situation growing out my pixie cut. A lot of my peers liked my pixie cut a lot (myself included) but I'm growing to my waist (probably not a popular move for the most part). You can't please everyone.

RuLueashk
September 29th, 2011, 10:46 AM
Ideally, I think, your friend would not have given her sister's comments enough weight to share with you. To me, that's where the tact system broke down.

This, exactly.

skyblue
September 29th, 2011, 10:49 AM
I agree that little tid bit of that converstion should never have been repeated whats the point in repeating something that will make that person feel bad, yes share the compliments but leave off with the nasty stuff lol!
Any way your hair IS your hair and you have the right to wear it how ever way you want, don't let that person make you feel self conscious, we love your hair here!! ;)

nobeltonya
September 29th, 2011, 10:49 AM
Don't worry about other peoples' jealousy that they can't get their hair that long and beautiful. :) If you like it, that's all that matters.

sisi33
September 29th, 2011, 10:55 AM
People who want to complain will find things to complain about... Everyone has this tendency to some degree, just like we all have more or less of the tendency to become unsure when other people voice disapproval of what we're doing, but some people react very badly indeed. I tend to pity people who are that bothered by how other people look. It must be very frustrating.

I've found that some people just need to find something wrong with almost EVERYTHING!:( Quite frankly, your hair sounds gorgeous, SO DON'T YOU DARE CUT IT!:p But in all seriousness, I *personally* would rather be one among the nowadays, rare, long haired people IRL, than have a short cut that almost everyone seems to be sporting these days. (Not to be saying that having short hair is bad in some sense, just that most people have short hair these days- and lots of short hair is just so cute!) Here's some cheese:cheese:, it'll make you feel better.

spidermom, your hair is lovely:blossom:

longhairedwolf
September 29th, 2011, 10:56 AM
Long hair stands out, and as such will invite others to notice and form opinions. Some will like it and some won't. It's a cliche, but you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself. If you are happy with your hair, keep it and enjoy it, but understand that it may attarct negative comments from some people. That's part of the deal. But don't go and cut your hair just because some girl who isn't even your friend said she doesn't like it. If you change things about yourself everytime someone doesn't like it, you'll be miserable.

Enjoy your hair and forget what this girl or anyone else thinks!

Anje
September 29th, 2011, 11:05 AM
You will never please everyone.

No matter how fantastic your hair is, or what length it is, someone's going to think it should look different. That goes for males and females. Everyone has their own ideas about what looks best, and those often conflict with other peoples' ideas.

What's important, therefore, is to wear your hair (and look, dress, and act) in a way that pleases you and fits with your goals in life.

Yame
September 29th, 2011, 11:10 AM
I know I'm blunt, but I have to say it:
*
WHO CARES??? People have opinions. Everyone has opinions. Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. You can never please anyone. Why bother? Why try? Why even put an ounce of energy in considering what someone who has no importance in your life might think about your hair? Why consider changing yourself over that?
*
It's true, a lot of people in the general public don't like hair past a certain length. They think it's weird. Get over it! If YOU like long hair, why does it matter what someone's sister thinks? Why does it matter that she says she doesn't like your hair behind your back? Who cares if your friend doesn't like men with long hair? People have a right to their opinion and preferences, and it shouldn't upset you that their preference is different from yours UNLESS they are being bullies or discriminatory in a very serious way.
*
So one thing would be for someone to say "I will not be your friend unless you cut your hair," and another is for them to say "I don't like long hair." One thing is for people to continuously make fun of someone for the way their hair looks, and another is for them to casually comment to their sibling or friend that they think someone's hair would look better another way. Do not confuse the two.
*
You have a choice about your hair. If you like it long, grow it. OWN IT. LOVE IT. If you like it short, cut it. OWN IT. LOVE IT.*Stop wasting time thinking someone else might not. If I spent time mulling over every negative thing someone said behind me behind my back (or in front of my face), or every possible negative thing someone might be saying about me, I wouldn't live my life, I wouldn't be myself. I don't want to know what people think of me, and if someone just happens to tell me, I shrug it off.
*
Because I live by this philosophy: "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business." Live and let live.

going gray
September 29th, 2011, 11:11 AM
Long hair stands out, and as such will invite others to notice and form opinions. Some will like it and some won't. It's a cliche, but you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself. If you are happy with your hair, keep it and enjoy it, but understand that it may attarct negative comments from some people. That's part of the deal. But don't go and cut your hair just because some girl who isn't even your friend said she doesn't like it. If you change things about yourself everytime someone doesn't like it, you'll be miserable.

Enjoy your hair and forget what this girl or anyone else thinks!

Right to the point of perfectly stated.......

Madora
September 29th, 2011, 11:12 AM
I'd sure like to know what makes that "party girl" think she's the arbiter of fashion! She's only a majority of one on this planet. Maybe she's secretly jealous of your beautiful hair?

You should NOT feel compelled to cut your hair for any reason unless YOU want to! You do NOT have to destroy what you enjoy just to satisfy her need for what is "right".

going gray
September 29th, 2011, 11:16 AM
I know I'm blunt, but I have to say it:
*
WHO CARES??? People have opinions. Everyone has opinions. Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. You can never please anyone. Why bother? Why try? Why even put an ounce of energy in considering what someone who has no importance in your life might think about your hair? Why consider changing yourself over that?
*
It's true, a lot of people in the general public don't like hair past a certain length. They think it's weird. Get over it! If YOU like long hair, why does it matter what someone's sister thinks? Why does it matter that she says she doesn't like your hair behind your back? Who cares if your friend doesn't like men with long hair? People have a right to their opinion and preferences, and it shouldn't upset you that their preference is different from yours UNLESS they are being bullies or discriminatory in a very serious way.
*
So one thing would be for someone to say "I will not be your friend unless you cut your hair," and another is for them to say "I don't like long hair." One thing is for people to continuously make fun of someone for the way their hair looks, and another is for them to casually comment to their sibling or friend that they think someone's hair would look better another way. Do not confuse the two.
*
You have a choice about your hair. If you like it long, grow it. OWN IT. LOVE IT. If you like it short, cut it. OWN IT. LOVE IT.*Stop wasting time thinking someone else might not. If I spent time mulling over every negative thing someone said behind me behind my back (or in front of my face), or every possible negative thing someone might be saying about me, I wouldn't live my life, I wouldn't be myself. I don't want to know what people think of me, and if someone just happens to tell me, I shrug it off.
*
Because I live by this philosophy: "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business." Live and let live.

This is SO beautifully written, wish I had learned this lesson at your young age!

HairFaerie
September 29th, 2011, 11:17 AM
Imagine what we would look like if we went around and talked to everyone about how they think we should wear out hair/clothes/make up! We would be changing every three seconds because everyone has their own opinions. The good thing is...the only opinion that truly matters is YOURS! You wear your hair the way that makes YOU happy. Like other people said...you certainly can't please everyone else, so you've got to please yourself.

I bet if you took your friend's sister's advice and cut to bicep, you would immediately regret it and feel very unhappy. At what cost? So this stranger can have her way and satisfaction of knowing that she controlled you, that she knocked you down a peg? NOT WORTH IT!

Seriously, what does it really matter if this girl likes your hair or not? Is she paying your bills? Is she with you 24 hours a day supporting you in your life? I don't think so. Her opinion means nothing, really.

Stay strong and develop a stiff upper lip when it comes to other people's opinion about what length YOUR hair should be.

I like your "flowing middle finger" analogy. Your hair could be that to some people and it's NOT a bad thing! ;)

swetiepeti
September 29th, 2011, 11:18 AM
Spidermom, you had me laughing. I had just above waist hair when I heard a few too many comments about age (I'd just had my 50 Bday) and how women my age should be sporting a short sassy bob or something more "managable". Hell, what could be easier than wash, air dry, throw in a braid and go to work?. Little did they know they'd spurred me onto to longer lengths. Although will admit that Madora got me to being way more consistant about using my BBB daily.

Rosetta
September 29th, 2011, 11:19 AM
I know I'm blunt, but I have to say it:
*
WHO CARES??? People have opinions. Everyone has opinions. Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. You can never please anyone. Why bother? Why try? Why even put an ounce of energy in considering what someone who has no importance in your life might think about your hair? Why consider changing yourself over that?
*
It's true, a lot of people in the general public don't like hair past a certain length. They think it's weird. Get over it! If YOU like long hair, why does it matter what someone's sister thinks? Why does it matter that she says she doesn't like your hair behind your back? Who cares if your friend doesn't like men with long hair? People have a right to their opinion and preferences, and it shouldn't upset you that their preference is different from yours UNLESS they are being bullies or discriminatory in a very serious way.
*
So one thing would be for someone to say "I will not be your friend unless you cut your hair," and another is for them to say "I don't like long hair." One thing is for people to continuously make fun of someone for the way their hair looks, and another is for them to casually comment to their sibling or friend that they think someone's hair would look better another way. Do not confuse the two.
*
You have a choice about your hair. If you like it long, grow it. OWN IT. LOVE IT. If you like it short, cut it. OWN IT. LOVE IT.*Stop wasting time thinking someone else might not. If I spent time mulling over every negative thing someone said behind me behind my back (or in front of my face), or every possible negative thing someone might be saying about me, I wouldn't live my life, I wouldn't be myself. I don't want to know what people think of me, and if someone just happens to tell me, I shrug it off.
*
Because I live by this philosophy: "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business." Live and let live.
Completely agree!


And I, like some others, actually love this idea of "flowing middle finger"... (Maybe I should nickname my hair that) ;)

heartgoesboom
September 29th, 2011, 11:21 AM
i don't get it, why do you care about this one girl's opinion? and i'm sure there's no hate going around... i doubt your sister's friend is thinking about your hair everyday. it was a passing comment, let it go.

Yame
September 29th, 2011, 11:30 AM
This is SO beautifully written, wish I had learned this lesson at your young age!

Thanks. There are so many typos that I regret not proofreading it, but I'll cut myself some slack since I am posting from my cell and in a hurry. Glad I got the point across.

teal
September 29th, 2011, 11:39 AM
It came into the discussion that my friend's younger sister, a fresh-into-college rebellious party girl, doesn't like my hair. According to this girl, if I want long hair, I should wear it only to my mid-bicep in length because "any longer than that looks bad". (AKA, my choice to keep long hair looks bad in her opinion.) I'm not really surprised that she was sneering about me behind my back, because she does that to everyone.

So, someone with a history of being catty is being catty. Sounds about right. She stung your pride awake, that's all.



I like my long hair. I enjoy how it looks and feels, I like its versatility, I like that it is unique, I like when people play with it. What's wrong with me, and other people, keeping their hair long? I keep it shiny and healthy. Yes, I wear it down 90% of the time so it is a very distinct look. I know that it would be less noticeable if I wore it in a bun more often. But it isn't offensive. My hair is not meant to be a flowing middle finger to people who prefer to wear their hair in a more conventional way. (...) My hair is the way it is because it pleases me.

Looks like you answered your own question.

If she can't say those things to your face then her opinion really isn't worth much, no matter what the subject.

Pixie0763
September 29th, 2011, 11:41 AM
I like my long hair. I enjoy how it looks and feels, I like its versatility, I like that it is unique, I like when people play with it. ... I keep it shiny and healthy. Yes, I wear it down 90% of the time so it is a very distinct look.

I live for the day I can feel my hair on my shoulders & back, and have people play with it! :)

Some people are simply thoughtless & cruel, and certainly not worth feeling discouraged over.

Lucie159
September 29th, 2011, 11:55 AM
I see a LOT of people everyday. And maybe its just me, but its the ones with long healthy hair that draw my eye, not the robot clones with the short messy choppy hair. I love how they all cut their hair short to follow some celebrity style and then the next magazine comes out and that celebrity has long hair. Then they all rush out to buy hair extensions so they can get that hair style.. In my experience style rotates ... what is "out" comes back "in" if you just wait long enough. Just think, when "hip length" hair comes back in style, your gonna be sooooooo "IN"!!!

spidermom
September 29th, 2011, 11:59 AM
Great post Yame. I remember using that very line on somebody "your opinion is none of my business."

I also like "you'll stop caring what other people think as soon as you realize how seldom people think."

Macaroni
September 29th, 2011, 12:17 PM
She's doesn't sound like someone whose opinion I'd value, so I'd ignore her. There may be a little jealousy in there, too.

Buggheart
September 29th, 2011, 12:40 PM
I've also got to agree with Yame's post so I won't restate what she's already said so perfectly. But I will add that if you feel bad, it's because you've allowed her words to hurt. So definitely do what YOU want to do with your hair and feel GOOD about it! It's none of her business. If your hair makes you happy, be happy with it and don't let others dictate your mood. Easier said than done, I know :) Hug.

AlexiaBlue
September 29th, 2011, 12:41 PM
Have you ever heard that expression, "Opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one, and they all stink". Umm yeah, that's what I would think of the 19 yr old's opinion of your hair.

Why in the world would your friend tell you about someone's negative opinion on your hair anyway? She really did not need to share it. What was the point of that?

archel
September 29th, 2011, 01:10 PM
My new motto: Haters gonna hate, growers gonna grow! :cheese:

jojo
September 29th, 2011, 01:12 PM
Maybe you can adopt my attitude. The more other people disapprove of my long hair, the more I love it. I'm rebellious like that.

(I must admit that I've heard very few negative comments about my hair, however.)

dito! I couldnt care less if people like my hair or not...heck lifes too short!

jeanniet
September 29th, 2011, 01:25 PM
Memorize and repeat any time anyone says something derogatory about your hair: "It's my hair. I like it this way, and I don't care what you think."

One of the great things about getting older (and spidermom can attest to this, too) is you start to care less and less about what other people think, and respect more and more what you think about yourself. So pretend you're 50 or 60 and get that attitude! ;)

HairFaerie
September 29th, 2011, 01:36 PM
"It's my hair. I like it this way, and I don't care what you think."

Heck, I would say that out loud to someone if they deserved it! :D

Jinglelocks
September 29th, 2011, 02:05 PM
@Everyone: You’re all quite right, of course! Thanks. You all took the time out of your day to comment so I took the time to reply to each of you individually:

@Intransigentia: Haha, now that I re-read it “flowing middle finger” is kind of funny...

@Mairead: Very true. If people thought in shades of gray, maybe the world’d be a more peaceful place. Thanks for your comment.

@Cassie_123 & RuLueashk & Skyblue: You’re all very right, I can’t please everyone and that’s okay. I also agree, I wish my well-meaning friend would have not shared her sister’s comment with me at all.

@PinkyCat & OwlAthena: Haha, YAY!

@Kiwiwi: Haha I’m glad it made you laugh. Your comment made me smile too. You’re so right, I shouldn’t feel so defensive about it - especially since now I already feel better, and the incident only occurred earlier this morning. Thank you for the support.

@Jing: Wise words, it’s so true. Thank you!

@Spidermom: I found your comment inspiring! Thank you!

@Ermine: You’re right - if there’s no consensus, we can only please ourselves. Tangent: yay for pixie cuts, what color is your hair?

@Nobeltonya: True, thank you.

@Sisi33: Yes, I agree. I think long hair is rare and unique. Mm, cheese!

@LonghairedWolf & Anje & Going Gray: Yes. I think I was just blindsided by the comment from the sister because I rarely get rude comments. This is one of the first/few I’ve gotten, so I was super surprised which made me feel defensive/temporarily impassioned. Thank you.

@Yame: It’s a very true and inspiring comment! I agree, it’s important to own and love your own personal style, and I certainly do (otherwise I wouldn’t have gone to these lengths - pun intended! - at all). I think maybe you slightly misunderstood my “concern” - what I wrote is a rant, something done passionately, spur-of-the-moment. It's easy to say, "Well, you shouldn't feel this way" but it doesn't stop people from feeling how they feel either way. Moments of high emotion are hard to control. I guess if I was a perfect gal I'd be able to shrug it off quicker, but I'm not - so I rant and use that to get over it quicker. For me it works wonders.

Sure enough, like you all said, my opinion has resettled and I am back (in the span of a mere hour or two, haha!) to enjoying my long hair and not caring anymore. The comments from everyone helped me get back to this state faster, which is fantastic, so thank you. I agree completely! If I were to mull over this girl’s opinion for longer than the moment in which I wrote out my feelings, it wouldn’t be healthy and I’d be an unhappy lass indeed. But as it is, I feel secure and happy again - due to two key ingredients. Time (the anger of the moment has faded and so has my insecurity) and the swift support on here!

Thanks for the great comment Yame, I love it.

@Madora: Haha, yeah! I suppose it is possible that she wishes to have long hair, too, but is too crippled by her notions of what is and isn’t societally acceptable to indulge her desire. Thank you for the reassuring comment.

@HairFaerie: (I love your username!) You’re absolutely correct. She doesn’t matter in my life ONE BIT and I am not concerned with her any more. My frustration was fleeting, writing the rant really helped me calm down and consider my feelings more objectively. I think the event this morning will help me develop the stiff upper lip when it comes to other people’s opinions of my hair. Also, yeah, the flowing middle finger is an unexpectedly hilarious analogy isn’t it! Haha!

@Swetiepeti: Yeah, throwing your hair into a braid is way quicker than blow-drying and spending two hours coiffing a short sculpted cut daily.

@heartgoesboom: Sound advice, thank you. I followed it.

@Teal: Yeah, she totally did. I don’t think I was surprised by the gossipyness, but I was surprised by the negativity regarding the hair itself - I haven’t really gotten negative comments much before. Thanks for the comment.

@Pixie0763: What length are you at now? Thank you for the comment, I don’t feel discouraged at all anymore. Rather the opposite actually after reading all of these comments!

@Lucie158: Your comment had me laughing aloud, I love it. Thanks for the smile!

@Macaroni: Yeah, I don’t value her opinion. When my initial frustration cooled down, I had a moment where I went: “... wait a second, why do I care?” And I realized I cared, at first, because I mistakenly assumed that most people would think the same as her. It was a bit of a logic jump, haha. I’m good now though.

@Buggheart: Yes! Sticks and stones, you’re right. I need to be like a duck and let the water roll off my back, which I did.

@Alexiablue: I wondered about that, too. I don’t think my friend meant to be tactless but... well, it happened anyways. I pretty much forgave her on the spot because I’m 100% certain she wasn’t trying to make me feel bad.

@Archel: Well said!

@Jeanniet: Haha, okay! I’ll try.

invisiblebabe
September 29th, 2011, 02:08 PM
I would take that teenage party girl's opinions with a whole shaker full of salt :lol:

luxepiggy
September 29th, 2011, 02:11 PM
According to this girl, if I want long hair, I should wear it only to my mid-bicep in length because "any longer than that looks bad".

Making unsolicited, catty remarks about others looks bad.

Long hair, on the other hand, looks awesome, the opinions of fresh-into-college rebellious party girls notwithstanding (^(oo)^)v

Vanilla
September 29th, 2011, 02:13 PM
I happen to agree that she's probably jealous. Being a party girl all the time makes it nearly impossible to grow long, beautiful healthy hair.

No need to feel self conscious!

Vanilla
September 29th, 2011, 02:15 PM
I happen to agree that she's probably jealous. Being a party girl all the time makes it nearly impossible to grow long, beautiful healthy hair.

No need to feel self conscious!

Jinglelocks
September 29th, 2011, 02:30 PM
@InvisibleBabe: I will! I will take it with a whole mountain of salt. Haha!

@LuxiePiggy: Well said, madam!

@Vanilla: Thank you. I think she is sooooo rough on her hair, it has no shine anymore - but she spends a great deal of time on her hair, anyways - and I love to talk hair, if she were just a little less sour I'd be delighted to talk hair with her.

invisiblebabe
September 29th, 2011, 02:39 PM
@InvisibleBabe: I will! I will take it with a whole mountain of salt. Haha!


Yep :D lol


I'd have to disagree with those who say she is jealous. Not everyone likes long hair. If I say I don't care for the new trendy bright colored skinny jeans, I don't *really* mean that I secretly want to go out and buy 10 pairs of them :lol: but if YOU feel pretty in them, rock 'em

mrs_coffee
September 29th, 2011, 02:42 PM
Maybe you can adopt my attitude. The more other people disapprove of my long hair, the more I love it. I'm rebellious like that.

Ditto. I've had a few people tell me I'm too old to grow my hair out. I've told them that I thrive on their disapproval and thank them for the motivation to keep going.

Rocket22
September 29th, 2011, 02:50 PM
Well hair is a very personal thing, not everyone is going to like everything ,and that is ok. You have to do with your hair what makes you happy not others. Also you will find what makes you happy now with your hair maybe will change down the road as well. So enjoy what ever your heart tells you do for the moment.

Navydoc_76
September 29th, 2011, 03:01 PM
Don't even think of cutting your hair just to please someone else!lol. they will only find the next thing to nit-pick about you. People like that always spew negative energy. I think most people agree that a man with well kept long hair is a wonderful sight to see!

if having long hair feels good to you-then do it. so far in my life, i have learned that trying to change yourself to make others accept you never works..

Fairlight63
September 29th, 2011, 03:45 PM
Your hair sounds absolutely beautiful! I think that she is jealous of your hair. Please don't cut it because of what that little snip said. When you think of cutting your hair short - think what hers looks like - and consider the source.

longhairedwolf
September 29th, 2011, 03:50 PM
Right to the point of perfectly stated.......

Thank you, ma'am!

Mayflower
September 29th, 2011, 04:10 PM
It's good that you've moved on by now, but you shouldn't have felt bad or insecure in the first place. Especially if the remark is coming from someone you barely know!

Your sense of self or your confidence shouldn't be derived from looks or things. They are all temporary and don't mean squat at the end of the day. Derive your confidence from just being, don't set boundaries for yourself, just live your life and do your thing and look the way you (want to) look.
By just being present and accepting the way you look, you build a self of sense that can't be harmed by any comments or opinions. Only if you're not truly confident, you care about those.

I understand your need to rant, but continue to think about it (even for just a minute) just feeds your unhappy feeling and resentment, which is going to grow with every catty remark as long as you don't let go of it.

Let go of it. It's just an opinion, a mental construction -not the reality!

Tea Lady
September 29th, 2011, 06:08 PM
I didn't read all the replies, but the thought that popped into my head was, "Why would you chop your hair just because some brat doesn't like it?!"

Tea Lady

Mesmerise
September 29th, 2011, 06:14 PM
You will never EVER please everyone with your hair. For every person who thinks you'd look better with shorter hair, there's someone else who thinks your hair is perfect.

This is true for EVERYTHING in this life. EVERYTHING.

You can't let one stupid person make you feel bad about your hair. It's YOUR hair, and it's how YOU feel about it that counts!

ladylovecraft
September 29th, 2011, 06:35 PM
To me it sounds like that party girl is in dire need of some tact, as well as whoever told you what she said. I may *think* that everyone should be forced to grow their hair long and that short hair is about the most boring unattractive thing known to all hairstyles, but do I tell this to people with short bob cuts? NO. If they were to ask me my opinion or state that they were going to grow long, I would, and I would support their decision to grow long, because it is what I find attractive. But there is no reason anyone outside of my boyfriend needs to be attractive to me, and even that should be based on hair alone.

People need to, though they don't, keep their mouths shut about these sorts of things. It's no one's business but your own what your hair looks like. It's not offensive to have long hair, it doesn't hurt anyone, and therefore you can do whatever you want with it. Isn't that the magic of freedom of choice?

So don't let her make you feel bad about what is no doubt your glorious mane! As long as you love it, keep it, or grow it, and love it. There's no reason anyone should ever effect how you feel about yourself, as long as you love you. It sounds like you're just about at my goal length and I am infinitely jealous. So do all of our compliments on your length negate out her one mean, stupid one? ; )

lizdini
September 29th, 2011, 07:11 PM
I didn't read all the replies (sorry don't wanna be here all day!:D). But maybe she's jealous? Or just immature. Or a you- know- what even! Whatever her problem, it's her's alone. If you like your hair then you should keep it!

Rybe
September 29th, 2011, 08:26 PM
I second the haters gonna hate

At least you'll never have to go back and look at old pictures and go "eewww I can't believe I followed that horrible hair fad" unlike the judgmental little butt.

I'm not opposed to APL. But if you don't want APL keep it long! It's your hair, I see APL all the time, it's more common and probably more trendy, but having it longer is more unique! Some hardcore party girl should be able to appreciate going against the norm. Gotta love her type! You have to be different, just like everyone else!

PixxieStix
September 29th, 2011, 08:38 PM
I know I'm blunt, but I have to say it:
*
WHO CARES??? People have opinions. Everyone has opinions. Everyone is different and everyone likes different things. You can never please anyone. Why bother? Why try? Why even put an ounce of energy in considering what someone who has no importance in your life might think about your hair? Why consider changing yourself over that?
*
It's true, a lot of people in the general public don't like hair past a certain length. They think it's weird. Get over it! If YOU like long hair, why does it matter what someone's sister thinks? Why does it matter that she says she doesn't like your hair behind your back? Who cares if your friend doesn't like men with long hair? People have a right to their opinion and preferences, and it shouldn't upset you that their preference is different from yours UNLESS they are being bullies or discriminatory in a very serious way.
*
So one thing would be for someone to say "I will not be your friend unless you cut your hair," and another is for them to say "I don't like long hair." One thing is for people to continuously make fun of someone for the way their hair looks, and another is for them to casually comment to their sibling or friend that they think someone's hair would look better another way. Do not confuse the two.
*
You have a choice about your hair. If you like it long, grow it. OWN IT. LOVE IT. If you like it short, cut it. OWN IT. LOVE IT.*Stop wasting time thinking someone else might not. If I spent time mulling over every negative thing someone said behind me behind my back (or in front of my face), or every possible negative thing someone might be saying about me, I wouldn't live my life, I wouldn't be myself. I don't want to know what people think of me, and if someone just happens to tell me, I shrug it off.
*
Because I live by this philosophy: "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business." Live and let live.

And that my friends is what it is all about. I too, live by the very last part. The day that revelation came was the day my life turned around for the better. You have a right to not know what they have to say or what they think. Sending positive energy your way!

Yame
September 29th, 2011, 09:26 PM
My new motto: Haters gonna hate, growers gonna grow! :cheese:

Hahahaha!

http://images.intomobile.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/god-haters-gonna-hate-eagle.jpg

Athena's Owl
September 29th, 2011, 09:30 PM
Really, life becomes a lot easier when you utterly discount other people's opinions about how you should look.

Malibu Barbie
September 29th, 2011, 09:39 PM
I too have to run but wanted to comment so I didn't have time to read all the inputs...
Back in college I knew this beautiful girl that had hair past her hip. We would go out to clubs and girls would start fights with her, dump drinks in her hair, one time on the dance floor a girl hit her in the nose and broke it.

She was dancing with a guy(He asked her to dance and she had no idea he had a girlfriend in the club)

Her hair brought that much attention to her. One time a close friend of hers told me, if she cut her hair she would be nothing and the guys would never look at her. They were all so jealous of her hair. Most guy never see women with hair that long or women either, it brings attention to the person with the long hair. Most guy/girls don't have the patience it takes to grow it that long. ( Yes, guys get this also)
In youth attention from the others (guys/girls) is important. Something as normal as hair can cause a person to get more attention at first. It wears off after they have seen it and get used to it. Always be weary of anyone that wants you to change for them. Jealousy makes people do crazy things. I will never cut my hair for anyone but me. I have people almost everyday tell me to cut it and some tell me to never cut it. I do what works best for me.:)

Yame
September 29th, 2011, 09:40 PM
@Everyone: You’re all quite right, of course! Thanks. You all took the time out of your day to comment so I took the time to reply to each of you individually:

@Intransigentia: Haha, now that I re-read it “flowing middle finger” is kind of funny...

@Mairead: Very true. If people thought in shades of gray, maybe the world’d be a more peaceful place. Thanks for your comment.

@Cassie_123 & RuLueashk & Skyblue: You’re all very right, I can’t please everyone and that’s okay. I also agree, I wish my well-meaning friend would have not shared her sister’s comment with me at all.

@PinkyCat & OwlAthena: Haha, YAY!

@Kiwiwi: Haha I’m glad it made you laugh. Your comment made me smile too. You’re so right, I shouldn’t feel so defensive about it - especially since now I already feel better, and the incident only occurred earlier this morning. Thank you for the support.

@Jing: Wise words, it’s so true. Thank you!

@Spidermom: I found your comment inspiring! Thank you!

@Ermine: You’re right - if there’s no consensus, we can only please ourselves. Tangent: yay for pixie cuts, what color is your hair?

@Nobeltonya: True, thank you.

@Sisi33: Yes, I agree. I think long hair is rare and unique. Mm, cheese!

@LonghairedWolf & Anje & Going Gray: Yes. I think I was just blindsided by the comment from the sister because I rarely get rude comments. This is one of the first/few I’ve gotten, so I was super surprised which made me feel defensive/temporarily impassioned. Thank you.

@Yame: It’s a very true and inspiring comment! I agree, it’s important to own and love your own personal style, and I certainly do (otherwise I wouldn’t have gone to these lengths - pun intended! - at all). I think maybe you slightly misunderstood my “concern” - what I wrote is a rant, something done passionately, spur-of-the-moment. It's easy to say, "Well, you shouldn't feel this way" but it doesn't stop people from feeling how they feel either way. Moments of high emotion are hard to control. I guess if I was a perfect gal I'd be able to shrug it off quicker, but I'm not - so I rant and use that to get over it quicker. For me it works wonders.

Sure enough, like you all said, my opinion has resettled and I am back (in the span of a mere hour or two, haha!) to enjoying my long hair and not caring anymore. The comments from everyone helped me get back to this state faster, which is fantastic, so thank you. I agree completely! If I were to mull over this girl’s opinion for longer than the moment in which I wrote out my feelings, it wouldn’t be healthy and I’d be an unhappy lass indeed. But as it is, I feel secure and happy again - due to two key ingredients. Time (the anger of the moment has faded and so has my insecurity) and the swift support on here!

Thanks for the great comment Yame, I love it.

@Madora: Haha, yeah! I suppose it is possible that she wishes to have long hair, too, but is too crippled by her notions of what is and isn’t societally acceptable to indulge her desire. Thank you for the reassuring comment.

@HairFaerie: (I love your username!) You’re absolutely correct. She doesn’t matter in my life ONE BIT and I am not concerned with her any more. My frustration was fleeting, writing the rant really helped me calm down and consider my feelings more objectively. I think the event this morning will help me develop the stiff upper lip when it comes to other people’s opinions of my hair. Also, yeah, the flowing middle finger is an unexpectedly hilarious analogy isn’t it! Haha!

@Swetiepeti: Yeah, throwing your hair into a braid is way quicker than blow-drying and spending two hours coiffing a short sculpted cut daily.

@heartgoesboom: Sound advice, thank you. I followed it.

@Teal: Yeah, she totally did. I don’t think I was surprised by the gossipyness, but I was surprised by the negativity regarding the hair itself - I haven’t really gotten negative comments much before. Thanks for the comment.

@Pixie0763: What length are you at now? Thank you for the comment, I don’t feel discouraged at all anymore. Rather the opposite actually after reading all of these comments!

@Lucie158: Your comment had me laughing aloud, I love it. Thanks for the smile!

@Macaroni: Yeah, I don’t value her opinion. When my initial frustration cooled down, I had a moment where I went: “... wait a second, why do I care?” And I realized I cared, at first, because I mistakenly assumed that most people would think the same as her. It was a bit of a logic jump, haha. I’m good now though.

@Buggheart: Yes! Sticks and stones, you’re right. I need to be like a duck and let the water roll off my back, which I did.

@Alexiablue: I wondered about that, too. I don’t think my friend meant to be tactless but... well, it happened anyways. I pretty much forgave her on the spot because I’m 100% certain she wasn’t trying to make me feel bad.

@Archel: Well said!

@Jeanniet: Haha, okay! I’ll try.

Wow, you took the time to respond to each person individually... that is so cute!

Don't get me wrong though, I understand being upset. Not that I would be upset over something like that, but that's from years and years of being told I should be tanner to be hot, I should get breast implants to be hot, I should gain some weight, my butt is too big, or whatever.

As a teenager I was quite insecure but I learned fairly quickly to love myself. But part of it is also about surrounding yourself with the right people. I could never be as confident as I am if I didn't also know plenty of people who love me the way I am, and if I didn't know about subsets of people who like the characteristics that I have. If I still thought I needed big boobs to be attractive because every single person around me was saying so, maybe I'd still be self-conscious about that.

Thankfully, you have LHC now, so here you can surround yourself with people that will tell you that longer is better (not that it is factually superior or anything, it's just our general preference ;) )... even in the general public, there are plenty of people who do like long hair. There are also people who don't, but that's just life!

WinterButterfly
September 29th, 2011, 11:41 PM
Um. My hair is around the same length as yours. I like hair hitting my hip! And I like that length and longer on others as well. I am not a fan of the fried pixy though. I would guess that it is jelousy. Maybe she truly thinks her fried locks are better. But there is a good chance that she just doesn't want a girl around her who has long pretty hair. I dunno. But if people didn't like long hair and wanted me to cut it, I would try to grow it as unusually long as possible. Actually that is what I'm trying to do now. I like things that stand out in a crowd. Things that reqire a double take. Hair at the hip causes me to look twice. (Apl if its a guy because that is unusual on men where it is common on a woman) plus, remember the updos that aren't possible with shorter hair? I do. And I would miss them. I think long undamaged hair is beautiful. It doesn't matter the type.

Ermine
September 30th, 2011, 06:25 PM
@jinglelocks: I have medium ash blonde hair, but got highlights and lowlights for my most recent pixie cut several months ago.

busnutmedic
September 30th, 2011, 06:52 PM
I think people like that will also be rude about other things, and think everyone should dress in what they think is fashionable, and a bunch of stuff like that.

I wouldn't value her opinion generally, I don't think. I know how it can still get to you, but she probably thinks everyone ideally would look like they do in magazines or something, which is ridiculous :)

Red Rapunzel
September 30th, 2011, 07:57 PM
Your length is very special! Please don't cut it because of words from a third party who doesn't mean anything to you. Your "friend" was wrong to mention her sister's words to you. Enjoy your hair!

Teamouse
September 30th, 2011, 10:56 PM
Part of the reason I want super long hair is because it isn't popular.

Also, I highly doubt if you cut your hair she would start saying how much she loves it. From what you've said, it sounds like she b*tches for the sake of b*tching. Anything that stands out will be an easy target.

For this one person who apparently doesn't like it. there will be millions (myself included) who love long hair and want desperately to tell the owner of said long hair how gorgeous it is, but are just too darn shy. :oops:

Give her the flowing middle finger (a new term of the "cold shoulder" for we long hairs?)

HintOfMint
October 1st, 2011, 12:08 AM
From what it sounds like, you have "ideal" long hair, in that, when people picture "perfect long hair," they think of your hair. Long, thick, dark, and straight. Sounds like straight up jealousy. I'm not one to jump the jealousy gun, because frankly, it often isn't. But this sounds like it.

noelgirl
October 1st, 2011, 08:16 AM
You did choose your long hair, right? Then this girl's assertion that you didn't choose it, that you're unaware of how it looks, shouldn't have any weight, because it's patently false. Usually we're our own worst critics. If something looks bad, we know and don't have to have it called to our attention. I think that compliments are much more necessary in our culture, and they're so rare! And it sounds like your hair is not only compliment-worthy, but thud-worthy!

pepperpot
October 1st, 2011, 08:36 AM
Don't worry about one person's low opinion. For every person who doesn't like your hair, there may be two (or more) who love it but are not saying anything. I bet lots of people admire your hair, especially with it being in good condition, but they don't necessarily say so. If it makes you feel good and you like it then definitely keep it the way it is.

EdG
October 1st, 2011, 08:50 AM
It's your hair. You get to wear it the way you like.

Welcome to LHC! :)
Ed

Buffy
October 1st, 2011, 09:14 AM
Let me give you another aspect of the subject:

In my opinion when someone is making a negative comment about us, it falls into to categories:

a) It's based on their taste.
In which case you can ignore their opinion in a heart beat and do what YOU like. Because it's just their personal taste / preference and they ARE entitled to that! It doesn't necessarily mean they are jealous. :rolleyes:

b) It's based on an objective fact/ argument
In which case you should MAYBE take another opinion under consideraton, and then either reject it or accept it!

The example i had in mind is one of my best friends: She had very long hair down her tail bone. But the actual hair from her mid back - down was SO thin and so little.... it just wasn't flattering.... We kept telling her but she just wanted her hair long, no matter what.

After all, she eventually cut it, and now she's looking at pictures of her very long but unhealthy hair and she keeps saying : "What's wrong with me, how did i not see it that my hair was so awfull!! God bless you girls, for pointing it out to me "

mallorykay13
October 1st, 2011, 12:24 PM
Your hair sounds lovely. Please don't cut it!

Everybody has different preferences. You can't please everyone. That's really the whole story.

Ideally, I think, your friend would not have given her sister's comments enough weight to share with you. To me, that's where the tact system broke down.

Exactly this. You can't please everyone.

FrozenBritannia
October 1st, 2011, 12:53 PM
Brief Background Info: According to this girl, if I want long hair, I should wear it only to my mid-bicep in length because "any longer than that looks bad".

I have read this quote before, in a fashion magazine. The rest of the quote was something along the lines of "people under 5'4 should not have long hair longer than their bra strap (or mid-bicep) because it makes them look shorter (looks bad). The magazine then went on to say that despite this "stylist rule" Nicole Richie was managing to pull off the look. (Not sure what her hair is like now, but at the time she was tbl)

A lot of girls that age take those kind of rules as law, and don't even consider them fully, and enjoy spouting them off in a holier-than-thou attitude. (hair flick included).

Personally, I think the only people who believe nobody should have long hair, are those who can't grow it.

Provided your hair is healthy and in good shape, there are probably more people that envy your hair, than dislike it. (There are probably a few who lust after it as well, and as you said, would never date a woman/man with short hair.) Long healthy hair is a biological sign of health and good genes, (as well as good cleanliness habits), and the cave man(person) reproductive part of the brain recognises it as a sign you are a worthy mate.

Which makes me wonder... Is it possible that the object of her affections, is more interested in YOU? (or maybe has commented favourably on your hair? Granted, you might not know, but it is always a possibility!)

KwaveT
October 1st, 2011, 01:04 PM
Um. My hair is around the same length as yours. I like hair hitting my hip! And I like that length and longer on others as well. I am not a fan of the fried pixy though. I would guess that it is jelousy. Maybe she truly thinks her fried locks are better. But there is a good chance that she just doesn't want a girl around her who has long pretty hair. I dunno. But if people didn't like long hair and wanted me to cut it, I would try to grow it as unusually long as possible. Actually that is what I'm trying to do now. I like things that stand out in a crowd. Things that reqire a double take. Hair at the hip causes me to look twice. (Apl if its a guy because that is unusual on men where it is common on a woman) plus, remember the updos that aren't possible with shorter hair? I do. And I would miss them. I think long undamaged hair is beautiful. It doesn't matter the type.

That is my philosophy to a tee. I like things that are unusual and stand out on both myself and others. I want to grow long hair and even longer fingernails. Both of these are unusual and tend to stand out on men. If others want to complain it motivates me even more. I rather be my own unique individual rather than follow the crowd like a lot of people do these days. I usually suspect jealousy when said thing in question looks better on you than them. It doesn't matter if it is hair or whatever.

Jinglelocks
October 1st, 2011, 04:19 PM
@Rocket22: Wise words. Thank you.

@Navydoc_76: You’re right, some people are gossipy nit-pickers. Don’t worry I won’t change my hair!

@Fairlight63: Yeah, I don’t want to listen to a girl whose own hair is so damaged and cookie-cutter. Thank you.

@Mayflower: I understand that you are trying to be comforting, but is it fair to say that a person shouldn’t feel the way that they do? How does one control ones emotions? If I was a perfect human being I’d be able to let the hurt slide off of me like water off a duck’s back, but as a sensitive gal my control is not impeccable. Especially when feelings are concerned, haha. I figured the best way to express myself and let the feelings out was by this rant, and it served its purpose most excellently. That aside, you are quite right. It is not healthy for a person to cling to the unhappy feelings that this kind of a situation brings. Thank you for the comment. In the future I will try to be even quicker to mentally let go of these kinds of incidents!

@Tea Lady: Haha, yeah. Talk about irrational thoughts!

@Mesmerise: Amen!

@LadyLovecraft: That is absolutely true. Having long hair doesn’t hurt anybody. Plus I agree, my friend did have a moment of slipped tact there. Thanks so much for your comment I found it very inspiring. You’re right, all of the supportive comments on this thread have UTTERLY negated the one mean stupid one!

@Lizdini: You’re right!

@Rybe: So true. She comes from an ulra-conservative family, too, who I think find something somewhat intimidating about ultra long hair.

@Athena’s Owl: I look forward to the day that I am able to do that. :(

@Malibu Barbie: Thank you for sharing the story. I agree that most people don’t have the patience to grow it out. What frustrates me, and I suspect you might agree, is when people who rag on long hair imply that it isn’t a deliberate style choice, just as deliberate as their decision to, for example, do a bob cut or something.

@Yame: I laughed aloud at the prancing haters gonna hate eagle. And yeah, I really love to discuss on forums and I feel like I should reply to everyone. After all I won’t know if there’s a fantastic new friend waiting to be made unless I reciprocate conversational effort! That is true about surrounding yourself with good people. I am very lucky to have supportive, excellent friends. But (un?)fortunately I also have the sort of personality that seems to attract a very broad spectrum of personality types, and not all of them are as supportive... so I hold tight to that special group who love me all the time, not just when I am being a comedian.

I really love LHC!

@WinterButterfly: Me too! I love the double-take long hair gets sometimes.

@Ermine: Sounds beautiful!

@Busnutmedic: Totally.

@Red Rapunzel: Will do, thank you!

@Teamouse: I will TOTALLY give her flowing middle finger. Which, by the way, is now something I want to illustrate and post here on the forum because it gets funnier and funnier the more I think about it.

@HintofMint: It’s possible. Like you, I am shy of thinking it could be jealousy because as Buffy said she might not like long styles as a personal taste - BUT, I went home with my friend this weekend and am staying at her house. Apparently her sister has vocalized a desire to wear her hair longer (but no longer than APL, because heaven forbid! LOL!)

@Noelgirl: Your comment made me smile hugely. Thanks.

@Ed: Well said! Thank you for the welcome.

@Buffy: Thank you for your honesty. I thought at first it was option A, most likely a matter of taste and her personal upbringing. Only this morning, though, the sister voiced a desire for longer hair but was mad at how long it took and how her hair kept breaking and split-ending (unaware that I was in the vicinity at the time and could hear her) so perhaps jealousy - not of MY hair, persay, but of the investment of effort/patience it takes to grow long hair, is more valid an option in this particular instance than I originally thought...

It’s good your friend is now wearing her hair in a way that pleases her and looks good too!

@FrozenBritannia: Oh. I am not surprised that her determination that anything longer than bicep-length came from a fashion magazine! The hair flick part made me laugh.

Well, come to think of it her boyfriend at the time did compliment my hair once but it was a friendly, non-flirtatious (I think) comment that was not inappropriate or untoward. They have since split up though. Interesting thought!

FrozenBritannia
October 1st, 2011, 04:57 PM
@FrozenBritannia: Oh. I am not surprised that her determination that anything longer than bicep-length came from a fashion magazine! The hair flick part made me laugh.

Well, come to think of it her boyfriend at the time did compliment my hair once but it was a friendly, non-flirtatious (I think) comment that was not inappropriate or untoward. They have since split up though. Interesting thought!

Probably just the fact that he liked it enough to comment at all peeved her. ;)

Buffy
October 2nd, 2011, 09:36 AM
@Buffy: Thank you for your honesty. I thought at first it was option A, most likely a matter of taste and her personal upbringing. Only this morning, though, the sister voiced a desire for longer hair but was mad at how long it took and how her hair kept breaking and split-ending (unaware that I was in the vicinity at the time and could hear her) so perhaps jealousy - not of MY hair, persay, but of the investment of effort/patience it takes to grow long hair, is more valid an option in this particular instance than I originally thought...

It’s good your friend is now wearing her hair in a way that pleases her and looks good too!


First off, it's really cool of you answering to everybody!;)

Secondly she might as well be jealous of you.....in fact both women and men very often associate long luscious hair with sexuality and femininity. So it's a high probability she was indeed jealous.
I was just speaking generally saying that if someone thinks something negative about us, it doesn't automatically mean she/he is jealous of us,that's all :)