matronly buns vs. carefree updos

[mommy2one05]

Does your hair type affect what kind of look you get? Meaning I have mostly straight somewhat smoother hair and my updos or buns tend to look matronly (if you know what I mean). Where as if I look at other girls at church or where ever and they have these pretty carefree ( or sexy) updos with curls and all. So if you have straighter hair is that what you are stuck with - the matron look???

[NorthernDancer]

I have straight hair with layers and when I do a bun I have lots of ends that stick out. It used to drive me nuts, but now I kind of like it. I don't know how you would get that look without layers, but that's how mine gets that way.

I to envy the curly sexy updos. My hair doesn't really hold a curl, so curling isn't an option for me either.

[Katze]

I have wavy hair and buns make me look matronly, no matter what. So for me, they are for "emergencies" only.

What looks really nice with straight hair - mine would never do it, too wispy - are peacock twists, or any kind of half-ponytail half-bun where the ends just "casually fall out" of the hairdo. Could this be what you're referring to?

[lora410]

A wavy here, and trust me when I say a messy bun or anything other then that neat looking do's would look dumb on me :lol:

[girlcat36]

Interesting.
I feel somewhat granny-ish with my frizzy halo wispies.

[Patrycja]

My "care-free updos" are far from that.Nothing can make me aggravated quicker than my buns turning out messy.With my layers,thats all I really have an option for.I would rather go for the "matronly" look because IMO they don't look "matronly" at all.They look intricate and sleek to me.

[wintersun99]

...............

[Nightshade]

Hey, that's not so bad! We have our own club (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=6616);)

In all seriousness, no, I don't think so. While a peacock twist may never look as sassy with 1a hair as it will with 3a, I think some of the buns that better show texture, such as the Rosette Bun (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=47), Edwardian Updo (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=26), etc showcase that intricacy better :)

There's other great styles in the Articles Updo section (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=category&categoryid=1).

[spidermom]

I have to settle for the messy look. That's all my hair knows how to do.

[FrannyG]

My hair likes to be neat, even when I'm trying to make a messy bun. I can't help it. My hair is completely straight with no layers.

I never really feel very matronly, but I do have some baby hairs that soften things up a little. Also, I don't allow myself to feel matronly. I think a lot of it is in your attitude.

I find that if I do a French braided bun, starting the French braid right at the front, it does add a bit of lift and interest to my updo. Sometimes I will just French braid the top of my hair and do a completely different updo with the length. Sometimes I Dutch braid the front instead.

[LeaM07]

My messy updos don't look so much "casual and carefree" as they do "just rolled out of bed", so it's granny 'dos for me until I learn otherwise. :D

Your church friends are probably using hot rollers/hot sticks or curling irons. ;)

[mommy2one05]

It must be my attitude then that makes me think my smooth sock bun or chinese bun makes me look old or matronly. Or maybe it's just cause alot of girls where all those curly dos and so then I think I am not the norm. But I do know that especially the ones who are using various ways of heat to get the curls will years later regret it when it kills their hair.

[mommy2one05]

Hey, that's not so bad! We have our own club (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=6616);)

In all seriousness, no, I don't think so. While a peacock twist may never look as sassy with 1a hair as it will with 3a, I think some of the buns that better show texture, such as the Rosette Bun (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=47), Edwardian Updo (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=26), etc showcase that intricacy better :)

There's other great styles in the Articles Updo section (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=category&categoryid=1).


The Edwardian updo doesnt look bad, maybe I can pull it off.
I don't think I can manage the rosette bun cause I am not good at doing a rope braid.
I didn't know there was a club for us. :)

[julya]

I like to think of sleek and smooth buns as elegant and graceful, you know, like a ballerina!

[burns_erin]

I find I like the "mean lady" buns better. Besides satisfying an urge towards neatness, I find you can be more outrageous with clothes and or make-up because the hair is so sleek and makes people think "proper".

[Finoriel]

What? Matronlyshudder:? No!
Straight unlayered hair or sleek updos do not necessarily need to look matronly. Same as the "carefree" updos do not need to literally look care free. Black hair alone does not make you a goth, nor does blond hair make everyone to Barby´s little sister.
Looking or coming across in a certain way includes more than a simple hairdo. Appearance involves so many things, which sum up to a picture. Hair colour, structure or a certain hairdo is just a minor part of that.
No one ever implied that I would look matronly and I wear sleek buns all the time.

[DMARTINEZ]

I will admit to looking a little matronly with my buns. :( I wish it werent so,but its
unavoidable with silver hair. ;) Oh well. I aint no spring chicken anyway......:lol:


Deb

[Euphony]

I don't think curly or wavy or straight hair has much to do with how messy the updo can be. Length however has a lot do with it, if your hair is too long it's near impossible to get any sort of 'messy' look out of an updo.

Since I started wearing a lot of updos (probably about last year at this time) I've had the problem of it being too 'neat'. So I started decorating it, sometimes I decorate it with a couple of tiny braids starting at above my eyebrows and pulling them back into my bun, or wrapping my bun with them. Another thing I've found is I can lessen the severity of the Gibraltar bun a great deal since it's not a 'tight' bun. I pull my hair tighter in the bun by poofing the front part of my hair. I started doing this because I'd always get some hairs here and there that were being pulled so I started pulling the hair forward a bit to lessen the pulling from the bun. Then I realized that shoot, I really softened that updo, so now I do it just cuz.

And I'm with Finoriel there's nothing matronly about the fat chick (referring to me btw) with the retro fabric wrap pants (that I made :grin: ), the Croc mary janes, and tunic, sporting the Gibraltar bun with the long, multi colored dymondwood hair stick.

[heidi w.]

oooh, ooo, pick me!

Matron look.

Rather, Librarian Look....I'm too old now for men to look at me and wish it'd all come tumbling down and I swish my head and hair and the glasses go flying (never breaking, of course), and well, you get the picture.

I have a strong jaw, stick straight hair so even freshly washed it doesn't have much height. My head just looks like a bullet heading out into the world. Not a bad idea, really.

Sometimes I get elegant though. That's nice. Elegant.

heidi w.

[FrannyG]

My head just looks like a bullet heading out into the world. Not a bad idea, really.

heidi w.

:rollin: Oh Heidi W., you caught me off guard with that one. I love it! :rollin:

[DotDotDot]

I don't think curly or wavy or straight hair has much to do with how messy the updo can be. Length however has a lot do with it, if your hair is too long it's near impossible to get any sort of 'messy' look out of an updo. <snip>

That's precisely what I was thinking! I have curly past-tailbone hair and there is no way in heck that I could ever make it look messy in the sexy way that shorter haired people can. Stupid messy? Absolutely. Sexy messy? Not at all.

[Chromis]

It's all attitude and a good chunk ensemble. I doubt anyone would think you hair looks "matronly" if you are not wearing clothing that makes you feel that way or if it is accesorized with something flashy of silly. If you are dressed in a messy manner people will not likewise look at your exceedingly neat hair and suddenly think how much neater you look, they're too busy being distracted by the messy. People's eyes go toward the most obvious things!

[Riot Crrl]

I can do either, as long as I don't try to switch between them, haha. If I put it up directly, matronly it is. If I have curls going, I don't want to "waste" them by having them hidden in an updo, LOL! But, I do that for disaster control, like my hair was down and curly and then wind; rain happened.

[Katurday]

My hair likes peacock twists.
Mostly because my ends are dry, and when they are dry, they spike up and look kinda cool.
I love how my ends are horrifyingly dry and I haven't washed my hair in three days.

[Tangles]

I don't think there's too much of a correlation between hair texture and personality of updos. I'm a wavy and I'm pretty good at both stupid messy and sexy messy, depending on the day and what my hair feels like doing. I've always envied the smooth look of straight hair put up and I don't think it's matronly at ALL unless that's what you're going for ???

[Angellen]

I also have trouble making my hair look 'carefree'. It just prefers looking severe and a little mean. ;)

[angelthadiva]

I like to think of sleek and smooth buns as elegant and graceful, you know, like a ballerina!

That's how I feel too!! I'm a semi-quasi curly and I certainly don't feel frumpy or matronly!! :) I wear my hair up 24/7-95% of the time (I usually wear it loose to sleep in), so most people don't even realize my hair is curly-ish because it's slicked back and up. I think this look is very polished and professional. ;)

[Masara]

I can't do messy buns at all. Mostly it looks as though I've slept in it for three days. Plus with my fine hair, anything that isn't held very firmly (and for me that means a smooth updo) just falls out too fast. I expect my updos to stay in all day.

When I was younger, I did worry about the matronly look and I very rarely did buns. Now I'm nearer a "matronly" age, it doesn't seem to bother me as much. I think finding a better range of buns here has helped a lot. Doing rope buns or adding braids adds texture and interest, although I recently had someone raving about my "tight twist with a hairstick because I'm tired and uninspired" bun.

[Katze]

mine only look carefree when I am not trying, i.e. when I'm putting my hair up to shower and not get it wet. If I try for the carefree, casual look it's harder. If I try for neat I get messy no matter what unless I brush, oil, and wet my hair into submission then stick all the baby hairs and wisps down with gel.

I'm trying to like updos on me, it's still a struggle.

There's this one student of mine who's, let's face it, a very pretty woman to begin with (tan skin, blonde hair, dark eyebrows, pretty face and figure and just NICE) and seems to have similar hair as mine - I say seems, because it's always, always up in a messy, poofy, bun-thing with LOTS of wisps and tendrils and baby hairs sticking up. I think she pulls it straight back on top for more lift, too. If I could get the look that T. has, I'd do it, but there is a difference between a bun on an attractive 20-something and a bun on a heading-towards-matronly 35 year old, at least for ME. Maybe I'll ask her next time I see her.

I think buns just don't fit with my self-image. I was a freak for so long, and still am, but don't dress like it all the time. I like to feel "pretty" and "ballerina" was never "pretty" for me, and if I wear my glasses, or a bun, or don't smile, I look stern and intense, not pretty. Most of the time messy looks unkempt on me, too. I don't know why this is.

[Curlsgirl]

I feel a bit matronly depending on where I put my bun I think and if I have everything smoothed down. I missed that hair that softened and so I added a tiny bit of face framing strands and bangs back and wow what a difference. My hair is curly but not really that much around my face so that curl doesn't really help much to soften but the layers/bangs do. I like the softer look even for business really. I find the look is different for me also when my hair is pulled UP toward my crown or pulled down and back toward the nape of my neck. I like the upsweep MUCH better. I think it just depends on the person and face shape, attitude etc.

Oh and lighter hair also looks less severe in my opinion.

[redcelticcurls]

I love my messy curly updos, but I do sometimes envy the sleek look.

Id I'm in uniform, I put it up damp because it has to be sleeker, but it never pull off what 1s and 2s can do.

I do miss some of the more intricate styles that are made for straighter hair and get utterly lost in curly hair.

[funnybunny668]

I'm all thumbs when it comes to updos, add to that the fact that my hair has a mind of it's own....
Sometimes when I'm not trying (and usually not leaving the house) I can toss my hair up in a way that looks cute and unplanned, but I can never seem to repeat it on a day that I *want* it to look like I just casually tossed it up there! LOL

[RavennaNight]

I find I like the "mean lady" buns better. Besides satisfying an urge towards neatness, I find you can be more outrageous with clothes and or make-up because the hair is so sleek and makes people think "proper".

When I do a sleek sockbun, I feel really neat, proper, and professional. And, sometimes mean, if I need to be, it does project well and conveys the feeling of "mean boss" , which unfortunately is a necessary evil in my work sometimes.:p

[Phalaenopsis]

Yes, sometimes I wish I had curls to make some fun, kind of sexy buns. Curls are so playful :)
With my almost superstraight hair, I always have to watch out that everything is sleek and perfect, otherwise it just looks like a messy updo, but messy not meant in a nice way. And then I do think I have a bit the matronly look.

[rubyann]

I can't do the messy bun thing either. If it's not neat and tidy, I just look sloppy, which I can't stand. Most of the messy buns I see around here are really loopy ponytail things held with an elastic or scrunchy.

I find myself slicking it all back and even clipping the side bits to avoid a messy look. I guess I like severe:shrug: I don't feel matronly, even though I'm in that age group. I guess I just don't worry too much about what others think of me anymore. What I like is more important. I did have an adjustment period with the updo's though.:)

[Kleis]

I do messy buns a lot, but when I wear a sleek bun I never think "matronly." I always think "Flamenco dancer." So, for me, the sleek bun is this contained but fiery and fassionate look. I almost always wear it low and with a loose tendril on either side curling around my jawline. I generally don't wear a large flower, however. I've thought about it, though!

[janaana]

I always admire the neat sleek hairstyles other people have and think it makes them look elegant rather than matronly. I can create a neat sleek style in my hair but without a gallon of styling product it never stays that way and the messy look creeps up on me with odd stray ends poking out and curling in all different directions

[Lady Godiva]

Does your hair type affect what kind of look you get? Meaning I have mostly straight somewhat smoother hair and my updos or buns tend to look matronly (if you know what I mean). Where as if I look at other girls at church or where ever and they have these pretty carefree ( or sexy) updos with curls and all. So if you have straighter hair is that what you are stuck with - the matron look???
I view such buns and sleek, elegant and sophisticated looking, actually. It does seem to be that they need to be held more tightly, but on the flip side (pun not intended), when straight hair drops from a bun or other updo, it tumbles sensuously and is quite an amazing sight. That's sexy, too. ;)

[Tangles]

I do messy buns a lot, but when I wear a sleek bun I never think "matronly." I always think "Flamenco dancer." So, for me, the sleek bun is this contained but fiery and fassionate look. I almost always wear it low and with a loose tendril on either side curling around my jawline. I generally don't wear a large flower, however. I've thought about it, though!

Agreed, buns can be steamy and sensual, especially accompanied by dramatic makeup. It's kind of like my mom says, reveal too much and it's just not sexy anymore, hide a bit and there is more mystery! Same with hair.

[Nat242]

I view such buns and sleek, elegant and sophisticated looking, actually. It does seem to be that they need to be held more tightly, but on the flip side (pun not intended), when straight hair drops from a bun or other updo, it tumbles sensuously and is quite an amazing sight. That's sexy, too. ;)

So true! My partner stops me if he sees me taking my bun down, he wants to pull the sticks out himself :bigtongue:

On topic - I've never found sleek buns to be matronly. Occasionally, on me, they can look severe, which is why I have bangs and tend to leave some loose tendrils around my face. I also enjoy doing loose, "falling out" buns; they're softer and bigger, but can be tricky to secure.

Here are a couple of pics of a "falling out" chinese bun (I got the idea from Spidermom):

http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee68/trippywallpaper/DSCN2410-1.jpg

http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee68/trippywallpaper/DSCN2408.jpg

Mostly, I think sleek buns look sophisticated, stylish, and confident. I do have curl envy in general, though!

-- Natalie

[Arctic]

Nat242: Very nice bun, Natalie, do you have a link to instructions? My hair propably is too short for it now, but I must say it looks fantastic on your thick hair!

I, personally, like sleek buns, and they don't remind me of "matronly" at all! For me, sleek bun/ updo means carefree, I don't like if my hair is on my face etc. Interesting how views vary! :cheese:

[flapjack]

I must be an anomaly because I have 1a hair and my hair makes some pretty hilarious messy buns. They're okay for being in the house and doing chores or studying but I prefer sleek and intricate updos so I take it out and spend a few minutes getting it sleek, I hardly will leave the house like that if I can help it.

I think sleek buns are sexy, feminine and sophisticated, and messy buns just look messy to me. They don't appeal to me at all. It just looks like they're on the verge of falling out.


And for dance, I have to have a sleek bun, anyway, it's easier.

[Amoretti]

I wish I had curly hair so I could do those sexy, casual buns. My hair is wavy but on day 2 it looks pretty straight.

I always feel quite severe looking because I also wear glasses. I cut some face framing layers in last year and might trim them a bit more because they've grown so much. Bangs wouldn't suit me because I have a small face.

[sipnsun]

I know what you mean, I rarely wear a bun in public for this reason. I'm the youngest person in my quilting club and some of those little old ladies have nicer twists and buns than me. I've even thought about cutting little wispies around my face, because even my french braids look severe to me.