Please give me advice!

[Orangerthanred]

I'm new here.:)

Long story short, I relaxed my hair with a relaxer made for coarse, kinky hair- twice. My hair is not coarse or kinky. Sadly, the relaxer only loosened my curls a little bit- I went from 3a/2c to a poofy version of 2b hair. My hair was extremely dry and I cut off my once-nice locks that reached my midback.

After a few months, I dyed my hair to get rid of the natural red it has in it. I have always hated my red hair, pale skin and freckles. I thought I could 'fix' it. The dye did not work and damaged my hair further.

Now my hair has healed a lot, but my roots from the relaxer are growing in. :( They are nearly four inches in, and I find it impossible to air dry. My hair always turns out frizzy, too thick looking, half-curly half straight, and just bad looking.

I also look terrible with my kind of short hair- it's a bit longer than my shoulders and is so poofy and thick that it makes my round face shape look wider.

Advice?

[heartgoesboom]

maybe start putting hair up in more updos?

[Orangerthanred]

maybe start putting hair up in more updos?

I'm having a problem with finding a good sort of updo for my face shape. I swear I've tried fifty ponytails and buns and they all make my face look wider or shorter.

:(

[Calaelen]

show a pic if possible. i am a stylist, and am pretty good with diagnosing the true problem. You know though, your untouched locks sound like my dream hair..the grass is greener, and all..

[Orangerthanred]

Tomorrow I'll get a picture on. Thank you!

[ravenreed]

Switching from shampoos to CO(conditioner only) has made a significant difference in how frizzy my hair is.

[FrozenBritannia]

If you can't wear it up there is always braids... I would be surprised if no updo looked good on you though. Maybe one of the crown braids?

I would love to have red hair, and curls, so I think you need to stop fighting it and embrace it, it will only make your hair better and easier to handle. If you don't like your particular shade of red, try a henna red.

I have heard that people with very curly hair sometimes do well using oil and wrapping their curls around their fingers to define them more, although my friend who has curly hair swears by putting in some mousse and then not touching it till it is dry and she has gorgeous curls.

Do you have bangs?

[Roscata]

I hope you're ready for this lol:
Live Curly Live Free (http://www.livecurlylivefree.com/curly%20hair%20basics.htm)
NaturallyCurly.com (http://www.naturallycurly.com/)
Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79)
Conditioner Only Washes - TLHC Style (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=18)
Whats wrong with my hair? Hair Diagnostic Tips (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44)
Build-up and Clarifying (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=194)
SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128)
lemon rinse defines curls dramatically and fights frizz (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=53745&highlight=lemon+rinse)
Kimberlily's defrizz spray (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277)

Ok so my advice is: clarify your hair, do an SMT, then start Conditioner Only washes (if you're having trouble with this try diluting the conditioner that goes on your scalp with water or trying a different conditioner, cone-free conditioners (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2216) that say "clarifying" on them are recommended, Suave and V05 are the most often used) followed by lemon rinse (the instructions on my link might be confusing so the rinse should be about a half a tea spoon of lemon juice to an 8 oz cup of water).

After all that if you still experience frizz find a good leave-in conditioner, use the de-frizz spray I linked or just start oiling your hair (or any combination of these). Extra Virgin Olive Oil might be a good first try (you might have to experiment a little to find the perfect oil for you) just put a couple of drops of it on your palm, rub your hands together and apply it to your length after washing (for curly hair I'd say scrunch it in). You also might want to consider overnight coconut oiling, they will feed your dry hair (assuming it's dry after all the relaxing) and protect it from washing.

If you want to straighten your hair without damaging it take a look at this video: click here for video (http://jenshairjourney.tumblr.com/post/9491948546/the-doobie-since-this-video-ive-perfected-my). It's a great way to wrap your hair and I've used it myself, it's simple and it works.

The links I gave you are great reads, I hope you take the time to look through them. Good luck! :D

[lacefrost]

Do deep treatments every week. Use conditioner to wash your hair. Only style your hair while wet. Leave it alone while it's dry! Put your hair in braids or twists (aka "rope braids") and that will blend your different hairtypes. You are now essentially "transitioning to natural." If you google that phrase, lots of information will pop up to help you out.

Most of all: stop fighting your hair. If it wants to be curly, let it be curly. If it wants to be red, let it be red. Grow out the damage. Once your hair has gotten back to 100% health you can decide if you want to change it. But I'm pretty sure that once it's 100% healthy, you will love it and wonder why you ever tried to change it.

[Orangerthanred]

Sorry for the delay on the pictures. I couldn't find my camera yesterday. I will get the pics uploaded in a little while.

[Orangerthanred]

Switching from shampoos to CO(conditioner only) has made a significant difference in how frizzy my hair is..

How does that work? :confused: Doesn't conditioner make the hair greasy?

[Orangerthanred]

If you can't wear it up there is always braids... I would be surprised if no updo looked good on you though. Maybe one of the crown braids?

I would love to have red hair, and curls, so I think you need to stop fighting it and embrace it, it will only make your hair better and easier to handle. If you don't like your particular shade of red, try a henna red.

I have heard that people with very curly hair sometimes do well using oil and wrapping their curls around their fingers to define them more, although my friend who has curly hair swears by putting in some mousse and then not touching it till it is dry and she has gorgeous curls.

Do you have bangs?

I'll have to look up the 'crown braid'. :) Thank you!

I've had a bad expirience with henna. I got a henna drawing on my arm once, and it itched so bad that my skin bled. I don't know if that would happen to my head, but I don't want to risk it. :( I guess I will just embrace the natural red.

I used to have side bangs. They looked absolutely horrible on me, even when I straightened my hair daily, so I'm growing them out. They are a bit longer than my chin.

[Orangerthanred]

I hope you're ready for this lol:
Live Curly Live Free (http://www.livecurlylivefree.com/curly%20hair%20basics.htm)
NaturallyCurly.com (http://www.naturallycurly.com/)
Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79)
Conditioner Only Washes - TLHC Style (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=18)
Whats wrong with my hair? Hair Diagnostic Tips (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=44)
Build-up and Clarifying (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=194)
SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128)
lemon rinse defines curls dramatically and fights frizz (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=53745&highlight=lemon+rinse)
Kimberlily's defrizz spray (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=277)

Ok so my advice is: clarify your hair, do an SMT, then start Conditioner Only washes (if you're having trouble with this try diluting the conditioner that goes on your scalp with water or trying a different conditioner, cone-free conditioners (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2216) that say "clarifying" on them are recommended, Suave and V05 are the most often used) followed by lemon rinse (the instructions on my link might be confusing so the rinse should be about a half a tea spoon of lemon juice to an 8 oz cup of water).

After all that if you still experience frizz find a good leave-in conditioner, use the de-frizz spray I linked or just start oiling your hair (or any combination of these). Extra Virgin Olive Oil might be a good first try (you might have to experiment a little to find the perfect oil for you) just put a couple of drops of it on your palm, rub your hands together and apply it to your length after washing (for curly hair I'd say scrunch it in). You also might want to consider overnight coconut oiling, they will feed your dry hair (assuming it's dry after all the relaxing) and protect it from washing.

If you want to straighten your hair without damaging it take a look at this video: click here for video (http://jenshairjourney.tumblr.com/post/9491948546/the-doobie-since-this-video-ive-perfected-my). It's a great way to wrap your hair and I've used it myself, it's simple and it works.

The links I gave you are great reads, I hope you take the time to look through them. Good luck! :D

Thank you!! :happydance: I'm going to look at those links.

[FrozenBritannia]

I'll have to look up the 'crown braid'. :) Thank you!

I've had a bad expirience with henna. I got a henna drawing on my arm once, and it itched so bad that my skin bled. I don't know if that would happen to my head, but I don't want to risk it. :( I guess I will just embrace the natural red.

I used to have side bangs. They looked absolutely horrible on me, even when I straightened my hair daily, so I'm growing them out. They are a bit longer than my chin.

Here are some interesting sites that might help, one way or another ;)

http://www.raising-redheads.com/how-to-braid.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2036702/Ginger-nuts-Marianne-suffered-low-self-esteem-auburn-hair-met-100s-others.html

I truly wish I had red hair.... I even dyed my hair red once.. It looked dreadful on me. :rolleyes:

[Orangerthanred]

Here are some interesting sites that might help, one way or another ;)

http://www.raising-redheads.com/how-to-braid.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2036702/Ginger-nuts-Marianne-suffered-low-self-esteem-auburn-hair-met-100s-others.html

I truly wish I had red hair.... I even dyed my hair red once.. It looked dreadful on me. :rolleyes:

Haha, just like I've always wanted brown hair. I tried almost every technique I could find to turn my hair brown, including dye, a few months ago. Boiling black walnuts, mixing cocoa into shampoo, coffee rinses...

[FrozenBritannia]

Haha, just like I've always wanted brown hair. I tried almost every technique I could find to turn my hair brown, including dye, a few months ago. Boiling black walnuts, mixing cocoa into shampoo, coffee rinses...

yikes! Silly question, but did you get a caffeine buzz from the coffee rinses?

[Orangerthanred]

yikes! Silly question, but did you get a caffeine buzz from the coffee rinses?

No..... :D

[Orangerthanred]

Here's my hair- sorry for the horrid quality and the shininess, my camera is the cheapest thing ever.

[FrozenBritannia]

Here's my hair- sorry for the horrid quality and the shininess, my camera is the cheapest thing ever.

You have GORGEOUS hair. Seriously! I feel even more disgusted with my own than I did previously. :violin: So disgusted that I think I will have to go get dressed and clean the house and re-do my hair to get over it. (my husband sends his thanks)

[Orangerthanred]

You have GORGEOUS hair. Seriously! I feel even more disgusted with my own than I did previously. :violin: So disgusted that I think I will have to go get dressed and clean the house and re-do my hair to get over it. (my husband sends his thanks)

:eek:

Thanks. It took a while to get it like that... I used at least thirty bobby pins to make my hair stay in a bun last night, when it was wet.

Have fun cleaning :p

[NightOwl26]

Here's my hair- sorry for the horrid quality and the shininess, my camera is the cheapest thing ever. http://i51.tinypic.com/1238mrk.jpg

Wow your hair is really pretty. I was expecting way worse. I'm more disgusted with my hair (my breakage)! Read all those articles and you will gain so much knowledge. I read them all too in the past.
Condition every time you wash your hair, minimize or completely eliminate heat styling and chemical dyes/relaxers.
And most importantly, accept what you have and love it! I see many people here on LHC henna their hair to achieve what you have naturally!

[FrozenBritannia]

:eek:

Thanks. It took a while to get it like that... I used at least thirty bobby pins to make my hair stay in a bun last night, when it was wet.

Have fun cleaning :p

I'll try... LOL

[Orangerthanred]

Wow your hair is really pretty. I was expecting way worse. I'm more disgusted with my hair (my breakage)! Read all those articles and you will gain so much knowledge. I read them all too in the past.
Condition every time you wash your hair, minimize or completely eliminate heat styling and chemical dyes/relaxers.
And most importantly, accept what you have and love it! I see many people here on LHC henna their hair to achieve what you have naturally!

I have my secrets for healing my hair... it requires a lot of deep conditioning, time, and haircuts.

I have to find a good way to style my hair w/o heat then, because my hair's kinda resistant to things that work on most people... Braids turn out poofy and too voluminous for me, my hair never stays straight after I wrap it, and roller curls turn into one big, undefined, puff within an hour..

Maybe I can spend today looking for some sort of heat free styling method that works. :D

Thanks for the advice.

[Roscata]

.

How does that work? :confused: Doesn't conditioner make the hair greasy?

No it does not. Not once you found the proper conditioner.

[ladonna]

I have no advice, just wanted to say that your hair is really beautiful! I think we might have similar hair except for the color, LHC has really changed my hair for the better, I just wish it didn't take so long to figure out what works.

[newbeginning]

Why are you fighting such awesome hair? I hope you learn to love it because it's beautiful.

[Helix]

Wassamatta U? Red hair is beautiful and I think freckles are cute. But I digress...

Since your hair is chemically processed I'd say start incorporating a bi-weekly reconstructor/protein conditioner into your routine (that is if you choose to continue relaxing). I'd apply it from your line of demarcation, (the weak point where your curly hair meets your straighter ends), to your ends.

Relaxers rearrange your di-sulfide bonds and there is protein loss in the process so chances are you need to put some protein back in there to help strengthen it. Just make sure you follow it with a deep moisturizing conditioner afterwards.

Maybe you could wear updos/buns for a while until you've got a decent amount of new growth then gradually trim off any damage.

That's all I've got. Looks like the ladies here have given you some great advice already.

[Panth]

I'll have to look up the 'crown braid'. :) Thank you!

I've had a bad expirience with henna. I got a henna drawing on my arm once, and it itched so bad that my skin bled. I don't know if that would happen to my head, but I don't want to risk it. :( I guess I will just embrace the natural red.

I used to have side bangs. They looked absolutely horrible on me, even when I straightened my hair daily, so I'm growing them out. They are a bit longer than my chin.

If you go to the articles section here (look at the tabs across the top of the page) you'll find absolutely masses of updos to try. You could also search for 'crown braid' within this website, using the search tab - there have been lots of threads asking about this, showing different ways of doing it ... also showing people's practice attempts, so you know that other people took a while to get it perfect too. ^_^

As for henna, I am in no way an expert on the matter, but I urge you to at least re-consider it. It is entirely possible that the skin henna you had was of the cheap rubbish variety - these contain things other than the henna (i.e. the plant material, the true dye) which can include harmful metal salts. It may have been these you reacted to.

If you do want to try to colour your hair with henna, you should pop over to the natural haircare section and get some advice from there. You should only ever use good quality pure henna (the plant and nothing else). You should also do a test strand (testing on shed hair to determine how it will react on *your* hair) plus, particularly in your case, a small test patch on the inside of your arm to test for an allergy/reactivity.

Another thing to know is that you can get other shades of colour by combining henna with other herbs/plants. E.g. mixing with cassia (aka "neutral henna") can make a paler colour; mixing with indigo can result in browns or blacks, depending on the ratio of indigo:henna.