How sad, I'm going grey!

[nankipoo]

Hello,

Just wanted to share the fact that *sob* I'm going grey at 33. I've had about 10-20 grey hairs for the past few years but now I'm getting a lot more. In a weird place too - at the crown of my head. I'm 5'1 so I guess when it gets worse everyone will see it. : (
It's still not that visible unless you look for it, but last year (even last month) I had a lot less. I'm reluctant to dye my hair with conventional dyes because the colours look so flat. My natural colour is a dark black with lots of reddish-brown undertones -- and I love it.
I know some people look good with grey hair, but I'm not sure the look is 'me'.

This is a shallow complaint, I know, but I'm so sad at the prospect of losing my original colour. : (

Complaining over.

nankipoo

[FrannyG]

Well, many of us have gone through this. I was going through it a decade sooner than you, so as far as I'm concerned, you've had a grace period!

I really understand what you might be going through right now. I know that it's hard to let go of what we had, but it's something that we all go through in one way or another. If it's not silver hairs, it's something else.

I hope that you can learn to see your silvers as being beautiful, and enjoy watching the change as many of our other members have done.

As for me, I'm a bad example, because I'm a chemical head. :o However, there are so many women here who have viewed their changes as an adventure.

I really wish you the best! :flowers:

[sipnsun]

I'm starting to get some silvery white hairs all over my head and I love it. I think it looks high-lighted. But I'm all about changing things I don't like. Maybe you should check out some of the threads on dying naturally with henna.

[lapushka]

I'm starting to get some silvery white hairs all over my head and I love it. I think it looks high-lighted. But I'm all about changing things I don't like. Maybe you should check out some of the threads on dying naturally with henna.

Same here, some hairs are really short and spiderwebby fine in between the rest, and I already have fine hair. It's just a few still, and it has stayed that way for about 2 years (I'm 36 this year)... I'm hoping it will stay that way a while longer but it probably won't... that's aging for you. I will probably dye when it gets to be too much, just can't handle it, I guess...

[wolf girl]

:flower: So sorry! But, if it makes you feel better, I started going grey at 24. Now I would guess I'm about 25%. Thanks God for hendigo!!!

[QueenBea]

Embrace the grey streaks :) I have colored my hair for years; haven't gone "all natural" since probably college, which I finished 14 years ago -- but last summer, I joined LHC and quit the dye cold turkey. Have about 4-5" of natural roots.

It's actually been pretty fascinating to see the silver strands come in, like natural highlights!

That said, though, I agree with a pp that if it really, really bothers you, change it. I like using henna sometimes although the color isn't the greatest for me; it is better than a chemical dye. But you could use a semi-permanant dye also, if you do all other nice things to your hair----

It is shocking to get some grey in our 30s. I'm sure my children have contributed to it ----- the only ones I REALLY dislike (hairs, not children, lol) are the super curly wiry ones that spring up. I'm hoping they normalize as they get longer. The silky silver ones are okay---

ETA--I went back and re-read that your natural color is so dark with red undertones; you are probably an awesome candidate for henna, if you're interested in using that to cover your greys. They'd turn into red highlights, and your base color would look reddish in the sun. My hair is naturally medium brown, so it gets a little too orange red, and it clashes with my pinkish skintone. But you might be a lot happier with it-------- I personally LOVE the grassy smell and the way it makes my hair shine.

Bea

[Kirin]

I feel your pain. I started finding grays at 14. Yes, 14 lol. Once it started, my friends having fun with it trying to "pluck them out" and noticing them, by 17 I had a full white stripe in my dark hair from my middle part in the front all the way down the side. Its a trait in my family that comes from my father's side, we *all* had this stripe effect in the front at around that age, and it got worse from there.

I'lll be fourty in August, and still its not all grey, but striped through out (think zebra). I hit the bottle early (around 15) to hide this. The only reason i can tell the stripe effect is still majorly in play is because now I use henna, which dyes greys different than the dark giving me this really awesome multi colored red, so I can see exactly how its striped.

I'm waiting until its all white/gray, to finally grow it out. I dont think the grey is aging, but the striping effect is.

I've been on the dye train for a long long time, its exhausting. Be sure you really hate those little buggers before delving into dye.

[tiny_teesha]

i had my first white at 19. My eldest sister is 22 and has at least 5 white hairs. My mother when white at 18 (started to) and she started from a patch just where her fringe part is so it is REALLY noticable and makes her look bald (as she has dark hair)
You could try henna and indigo to dye your hair, make lots of test strips first so you are sure of the colour- start collecting shedded hairs now!

[spidermom]

I love my silvery hairs; they brighten up the dark blonde.

[wintersun99]

I know just how that feels! I started noticing gray hairs right about then too (I'm 37 now) and I have quite a few coming in at the crown, it's surprising how light they make my hair look now. However, I am not ready to embrace them, so I henna/indigo! :)

[neenerbabe]

I saw a lady the other day, with part of her hair a bright silver, and pulled back in a french twist. She had a young looking face, and looked incredibly classy. I love silver hair, especially women that go gray young, like Heloise. It's awesome that they buck the trends and do their own thing, it's a real attention grabber. Don't underestimate the power of silver! :-) If I start getting a good deal of gray I'm not going to henna anymore, just because I'd love hair the color of the moon. :-)

[jojo]

I like mine too, I have dark blond hair and mine are just on the right hand side of my fringe, which is also spiral, mne look like highlights too. I am not ready to have a full head as yet but then again that is probably ages off yet!

[Melisande]

That's easy to say when you're still young, look young, feel young.

I feel I'm on the threshold - I'm no longer young and don't look young, but I"m by no means old. So for me, the grey is not something tres chique but something that ages me, that pushes me over this threshold.

And although I still hear myself say in younger years, "every age has its beauties, and I'm never going to cover up the traces of the passing years!"... I reach for the plant dye and give my hair a kick.

I'm pale, and when my hair is grey, I'm nearly invisible. I tried to grow it out, it's about 30% and the rest is my old dark blonde with a reddish-golden shimmer... and the grey just dulls it, nothing else.

I use a natural dye that contains henna amongst other plants, and I LOVE the color and shine it gives me. I feel it really makes my hair stronger, more resilient and more beautiful.

One day I'll stop using it. But for now, I'm glad I found my solution. Even if I would have found this decision pathetic in my younger years ;-)

[Islandgrrl]

I'm not thrilled about my greys, either. I don't think they make me look old and I don't think I'm old at all even if the calendar might have a different opinion. Fortunately, I'm a redhead, and henna is my new best friend.

If you decide to color, maybe you can henndigo just some streaks where the greys are most prominent?

[cuddledumplin]

I've actually had greys since I was three. I got attacked by a dog, and he bit me on my head and almost tore off my ear, but thankfully you can't really tell other than some very faint scars on my forehead and behind my ear. On the injury sites, my hairs grew back in grey. I'd pull them out earlier, but I don't bother anymore. My family tends to get a "skunk streak" at the temple, and I actually think it'll be kind of cool. I know changes like that are a bit of a shock, but at least you can colour your hair. You might grow to like it though.

[Euphony]

I have a very good friend that I talked into using henna on her very dark brown, almost black hair. Her hair breaks pretty badly and we discussed her natural color and that the henna probably wouldn't change it much, probably not noticeably but it would change her silvers (she's about 25% gray). She wanted to try the henna to hopefully make her hair stronger. The henna strengthened her hair and also gave her this beautiful color to her silvers that look like she paid a couple of hundred dollars for 'natural' highlights. She's had people asking her where she got her hair done and they are amazed that it was done with henna. She LOVES it.

[Darkhorse1]

Meh, I found my first gray hair at 27. I blame teaching young kids how to ride on that ;) I have this theory though--I'd rather go gray than lose my hair, so I'll be the one with long gray hair ;) :D

Don't fret, it's just lack of pigment to the hair shaft. I have my hair colored (Semi-permanent) just once a year, and it seems to work for me! Good luck! :)

[Xandergrammy]

I just wanted to put in my two cents. I started getting grays in my cowlick in the middle of my forehead in my thirties. I plucked them out as fast as they grew in. When I hit 40, my whole life changed- new home, new husband, decided to grow my hair and I started coloring (Originally I colored to try out different colors, not to cover grays). It wasn't until I was 50 and my life shifted again that I was ready to stop coloring and enjoy the experience of watching my natural colors come in. You have to make decisions based on your lifestyle and how you feel. IMO, I think henna would look awesome on your hair, but I know the maintenance can take up a bit of time. Good luck, whatever you decide. :flowers:

[Blueglass]

you do sound like a henna candidate with your color. Also if you use Avigale, Rainbow, or Morrocco Method henna, you have a range of colors, and you can mix, and layer colors with henna. However sometimes henna will not cover grey. It seems no matter how much henna I use, my greys are still white.

[peachy.pudding]

Why do people fear grey hair, does it make you look older?

[Pilgrim]

If you don't mind the upkeep, nankipoo, I agree that you might be a good candidate for henna. When I was your age, I had my hair periodically colored with a semi-permanent dye, but I wouldn't have done that if I had known about henna/indigo glosses! I did the henna/indigo for about a year. But now, at my age and increasing level of silver and reluctance to do the coloring upkeep, I'm going natural. But if you just aren't ready for that, a henna/indigo gloss could be just right. I liked it when I did it, but I didn't like to keep it up and the indigo fades too quickly to suit me.

On the other hand, you might find that a silver streak is really interesting looking!

[Pilgrim]

Why do people fear grey hair, does it make you look older?

I think looking older has more to do with lack of fitness and health and how a person carries him/herself. Since I'm going grey, that's what I've decided. ;)

[Darkhorse1]

I knew a girl who started going gray at 16. NOt sure why some people go gray sooner than others. They key? A good hair dresser ;) Don't panic---it's just a change in the pigment of your hair color---or there lack of. My goal? LONG gray hair :)

[lora410]

oh I would love to have gray hair. I know it's silly but I think gray hair is unique and beautiful color.

[Katze]

sorry it's bothering you; and I agree you sound like a henna candidate if you already have reddish hair tones. Check out www.renaissancehenna.com 's before and after pics - some neat stuff. Nightshade also has some recipes and photos, I believe.

I really, really like my silver hairs. They are coming in like mad now as I head downwards towards 40, accompanying the saggy belly and jowly jaw, but the hairs at least look really pretty and suit my coloration. Im getting a streak of them above my left forehead, but from even a short distance, it just looks blonde.

When I was in my 20s and an extreme goth, I tried really hard to get silver hair. Not possible.

There are some beautiful naturally silver, grey, and white heads of hair out there (and on this site) but if it's not for you, it's not for you.

[jessie58]

I cover mine with a demi permanant. I am not ready to go grey yet. Or in my case, they're white.
I also do mourn the idea of losing what I had my whole life. I liked my hair color my whole life and want to keep it. I don't want to change my hair color and was never a hair dyer, so to have it forced upon me, whether by nature or not, I just don't like it.

So I am fighting nature, the same way as people who step up their fitness routines when they get older to fight sagging muscle tone and use creams to fight wrinkles, I will use my color on my roots to fight the look of the greys.

[StephanieB]

I'm with whomever said that gray isn't what makes people look older; how you carry yourself, how your skin looks, and how you behave all play their part in the appearance (or lack thereof) of age.

I'm now 47. Up until about 18 months ago - I was proud of my looks. Not pretty, but attractive. Tall, heavy-set... but not obese-looking.

Then, a rare genetic auto-immune disorder struck full-force.

Ironically, this disorder (a connective tissue disorder) makes people who have it look abut 15 years younger than they actually are chronologically.

I have no gray or silver in my hair (on my head). I'm the first person in my family (both sides) not to have grayed (silvered) before hitting the age of 30. Just this year, my eyebrows started coming in silver... and I was plucking them - but now their all coming in silver, so plucking won't work any more.

My family, fortunately, have very-dark-brunette hair that turns that lovely salt-and-pepper... and later turns steely silver. No yellow, no gray, no blue. A nice silver that lightens but remains silver, as time goes on.


But, I've become disabled and wheelchair/scooter-bound in the past 8 months. Because I can't move around much any more, I've gained 60 pounds. *sigh*

That ^ has made me look and feel old like nothing else has.


I believe that gray or silver won't "age" anyone.

In fact, I often think that people who color their hair so dark, after a certain age, look a lot older than they would with nicely grayed or silvered hair. It's just too obvious that it's a bottle job if a person who is clearly over that certain age is dark dark brown or black with NO gray/silver... not a single gar or silver hair.

If one chooses to color to cover gray, that's fine. Just try to make it a color that's believable-looking. (if believably your own original color sans gray is your goal) ;)

[StephanieB]

Speaking of henna for darker brunettes... I have a few questions.

1. Does it actually cover gray/silver? Or just lighten/redden the broqwn hairs to kinda blend the gray/silver in better?

2. Is there any way (short of permanent 'bottle job' color enhancement) to use henna for all the hair health benefits, without changing the natural color of my (now) virgin hair? (I don't want reddish, I want to keep my own color, but I'd like it to be softer, shinier, healthier.)


Thanks. :)

[burns_erin]

I am 26 and have been going grey for some time now, and not the pretty white my father has, just a dirty indeterminate greyish color that makes my hair look unwashed and greasy. I quite enjoy doing the henna. My mother on the other hand had been grey for as long as I remember, last year she went and saw a doctor (for something else) and it turned out she had a vitamin B deficieny. She started taking supplements, and now she is actually less grey than I am.

[Isilme]

StephanieB, check out the article's section about henna, or read more about it at www.hennaforhair.com It's permanent, and it's red, you would want cassia, similair effect with just a hint of golden on light hair, but cassia isn't permanent. Sorry to hijck.
To the OP, I really think you should read up about about henna, sounds like something for you!

[somethingwicked]

I am 26 and have been going grey for some time now, and not the pretty white my father has, just a dirty indeterminate greyish color that makes my hair look unwashed and greasy.

x2! I've had silver/grey hairs pop up ever since I was 16; I used to get indignant when my mother would reach over and pluck them out. I thought going grey would be awesome. I saw a woman a few years ago in a department store with a long silver braid, and how I coveted! But recently the grey has been popping up everywhere on the top of my head and at my temples, and it looked awful. My hair is medium brown, but I had sun lightened blond on the left side of my head (from driving), with the other side darker, and few, thin artificially lightened streaks that I've been keeping dyed fuschia, and my little strings of coarse grey hairs were just making me look and feel pretty nasty. Yesterday I used a box dye to dye the whole mess dark brown (after wrapping my pink in plastic, darn it! I'm keeping those for now!) I'm kind of sorry, but I just couldn't pull off the random strands of grey. I'm already a ragamuffin, and they just made me look even more unkempt.

I still love GOOD grey, though, which a lot of people on this board seem to have! Is it just a matter of being patient, and letting it come in, or are some of you just lucky and get nifty streaks and swoops?

[lilalong]

I love the complete silver heads.
I just wish I'd get there without being a gray head first.

[frizzinator]

You mentioned that your grey hair is in the crown area. If you wear your hair up, you can hide the crown area because the hair around your hairline will be on top.


I have the opposite problem. My white hair is in the hairline around my face, so when I wear my hair up, it shows a lot of white hair. When I wear my hair down, it looks more like my natural hair color.

[StephanieB]

StephanieB, check out the article's section about henna, or read more about it at www.hennaforhair.com It's permanent, and it's red, you would want cassia, similair effect with just a hint of golden on light hair, but cassia isn't permanent. Sorry to hijck.
Thanks. I'll do that. :)



I still love GOOD grey, though, which a lot of people on this board seem to have! Is it just a matter of being patient, and letting it come in, or are some of you just lucky and get nifty streaks and swoops?

Nope.

It's genetic. Some people have great shades of gray, white, or silver (or salt-n-pepper) and others just aren't that lucky.


One can enhance an 'undesirable' shade, though, with color.

Darker but drab shades of gray can be 'enhanced' (in the eye of the beholder) by adding some darker OR some lighter of the same color OR by adding silver.

Yellowish and/or ashy shades of gray can be 'enhanced' with blue. Some further add silver higlights over that blue-darkened gray.

White hair that's not snowy can be colored to look snowy-white. Not-quite-white hair might also benefit from gold added in, if it's a yellow-ish white.

Salt-n-pepper can be 'enhanced' with silver.

Semi-permanent darker browns and blacks dyes can 'enhance' salt-n-pepper, too; it covers the gray, but not completely, making a darker salt-n-pepper look that's nice.

[Xandergrammy]

You mentioned that your grey hair is in the crown area. If you wear your hair up, you can hide the crown area because the hair around your hairline will be on top.


I have the opposite problem. My white hair is in the hairline around my face, so when I wear my hair up, it shows a lot of white hair. When I wear my hair down, it looks more like my natural hair color.



My white is the same as yours, frizzinator, but I've found that I actually like the look of the white around my face!

[atlantaz3]

My mom was almost totally grey by 35 and what wasn't was soon after! (she had my brother at 30 and me at 35). I think silver hair is great and she had to put up with my dad with coal black hair well into his 60's! My dh is very grey now (late 40's) and blaming me of course. I must take after dad and have a hard time finding the grays. I think try to accept them gracefully - or possibly even add a few more in if you are going to dye - go for a dramatic streak of silver!

[willowcandra]

A couple of years ago I started to fing white eyelashhes and a couple of strands of white hair. I have a condition called vitiligo. Where patches of skin loose pigment and where the pigment goes the hair turns white. I now have a white streak growing at my left temple and a couple of whites on the other side and sprinkled underneath. It only looks a bit aging if I don't wear makeup over my white eye.

I don't think grey hairs should be aging at all. The more people who let it grow out then the more perception will change. Many people get greys in their teens and twenties. It's not age related at all. Maybe I am different as mine is not strictly greying but most people think it is.

My dad is nearly 60 and doesn't have a single grey. He also has a full head of hair. His dad only had a couple of strands when he died aged 83.
My mum only has a few strands so I could have got away with it but meh never mind lol.

[Katze]

One can enhance an 'undesirable' shade, though, with color.

Yellowish and/or ashy shades of gray can be 'enhanced' with blue. Some further add silver higlights over that blue-darkened gray.

White hair that's not snowy can be colored to look snowy-white. Not-quite-white hair might also benefit from gold added in, if it's a yellow-ish white.

Salt-n-pepper can be 'enhanced' with silver.

Semi-permanent darker browns and blacks dyes can 'enhance' salt-n-pepper, too; it covers the gray, but not completely, making a darker salt-n-pepper look that's nice.#

I'm not sure what you mean by 'enhanced with silver' but in all my years of experimenting with hair dye I was NEVER able to get a grey or silver dye that looked good and stayed. Stylists at the time told me it was nearly impossible.

This may have changed since I last 'went natural' in '03 or so (stopped trying to dye my hair silver/grey/platinum) but I doubt it.

Violet or blue rinses worked best to drab down orange or yellow for me (on bleached hair) but they are also a temporary option.

[frizzinator]

Katze, I think the word enhanced in this case is refering to a subtle tweaking of a person's natural color to obtain the desired color effect, thus indicating a tone or tint, but not a dye.

[mellie]

I started getting some grays at 20. One more person here who loves henndigo! Covers those grays so naturally, no one needs to know! :-)

StephanieB - Yes, henndigo covers grays really well. Here's my before and after:

before:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=423&pictureid=9737

after henndigo (Rainbow Dark Brown henna):
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=423&pictureid=9738

[harley mama]

nankipoo, no need to stress over gray hair. You can choose to embrace it and love your silvers. We have some lovely hair here at LHC that proves gray (silver) can be gorgeous! Or, you can do like I did and color. Yes, I color! I am not ready to embrace my gray yet.

Life is to short to be sad about gray hair!

[DavidN]

Hi Nankipoo, try not too worry about the natural silvers, and I have enjoyed my "racing stripes" as they slowly grew in. I had a few gray hairs in the temple area in my 30's, and they only came in slowly until I reached 50 years of age or so. I am embracing my grays as they slowly take over.

We have many members of the LHC with the most beautiful silver hair.

[burns_erin]

I guess the over riding theme here seems to be "Do what YOU need to feel good about yourself". Some people love and embrace their greys, some people go natural dyes, and some people go on the bottle. It is a matter of how you feel about yourself and your hair, and the time it would take to change it. And both henna and bottle dyes are a major time commitment, though henna admittedly is more of one. For myself, when it was just a few greys, it did not bother me, but as more grew in and I started eventually realized it was neither dirty or greasy it just looked that way, I decided it was time for a change.

[nankipoo]

Hello,

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I know it's not the end of the world. ; )

It's great that some of you embrace your grey hairs, but I don't think it suits me so I guess I'll dye it when it gets really obvious. Henna/Indigo sounds like something to look in to.

It was interesting to hear about everyone's attitudes towards and experiences with grey hair.

Many thanks for replying to my thread!

nankipoo

[Eireann]

Unrepentent chemical head here, too! I've been going grey since my early 20s, and coloring since, well, my early 20s! There was a period in my mid 30s that I decided to let it go natural. I had recently cut my hair very short so it seemed like the time to try growing it out. After about 2 months, I decided that was enough! Some day I'll go grey, but not this day!

[Medvssa]

In contrast with you, I was so thrilled when I started getting a few greys as I turned 29, and I am thrilled they seem to be increasing :D I was hennaeing back then, and stopped to do so not to cover my greys.