Something I've noticed.

[snakewitch]

I really love this community and I think we're one of the most peaceful and diverse communities on the internet. Almost everyone gets along here. Except there are a few instances where people say rather rude and harsh comments about other people's hair style, color, length, or texture. Which is ridiculous, even for a hair-related forum. Everyone is allowed to have a preference, I'm not saying you can't have a preference, I'm just saying, don't be mean to people over just not liking their hair. I think it's pretty ridiculous that this even happens.

I may not have many posts, because I don't know that much and therefore don't contribute very much, but I do lurk a lot. I've noticed that people being rude has been more common lately. I'm not asking for everyone to sugarcoat everything and fake niceness, but just be decent, as LHC is one of the most peaceful and civil forums, and I'd like for us to keep it this way.

If you don't like something, you don't like it. I understand that. But there's no need to actually insult it.

Peace. :p

[mallorykay13]

Amen!! ........

[swearnsue]

I agree, I've noticed that happening today, like there is a communication glitch or something. Not only has there been some not nice comments but there has been quite a bit of misunderstandings today. I hope tomorrow is better!

[Mairéad]

I think I know exactly what you're speaking of. I think people should be honest but at the same time I think there is always a way to word something in a way that won't be offensive and non-constructive. I think many of us will eventually have moments and comments we're not entirely proud of. I think we can all made amends though when those situations happen.

[julierockhead]

Some questions I ask myself as I am posting if I feel I *might* be overstepping:

Does this need to be said?
Does this need to be said now?
Does this need to be said by me?

[Juneii]

KNIT
is it Kind?
is it Necessary?
is it Informative?
is it True?

Not so sure on the informative part but one of the mods have posted this somewhere here. it is something we should always ask ourselves before voicing an aggressive opinion.
However, just like in real life we will find people who we don't agree with. For the most part I think the arguments on here are caused by people who are just having a bad day and worded something a bit too harshly and another person who is feeling oversensitive to a particular subject and taking offence. Could it be that the comments are too harsh or that they are taken too seriously?
For me I guess I don't see too much of a problem, I have seen worse spats between strangers face to face in person so considering the relative anonymity on this forum I think we're getting along rather well. But yes, definitely consider what you are saying before posting it. The good thing about typing out your words is that you get to edit them before everyone else hears it and getting hurt.

[Aimskylove]

I agree and I think I know what you are talking about. Didnt think my post would cause such a stir. >__<

[Lianna]

People saying bad things about hairstyles are a pretty rare occurrence. I try to stay out of it or just say certain hairstyles won't please everyone. What bugs me a little is when people assume someone has short hair because they "can't grow it"/have damaged hair, etc.

A lot of it comes from missunderstandings, and it's unfortunate when people can't just acknowlegde that and choose to keep on "fighting". This happened to me once because something I said, and it will always haunt me because I've never had someone mad at me in real life (or internet life). I also don't like when people try to "blame it" on the fact that English isn't my first language, because it can happen with native speakers aswell, but when it's with me, people need to point out that fact...

[racrane]

I agree that we all need to be kind and respectful. Thank you! :)

[UltraBella]

I agree and I think I know what you are talking about. Didnt think my post would cause such a stir. >__<

That one even surprised ME - and I tend to be a bit too blunt for many member's tastes.
I think most people do post decent comments, even when disagreeing. Sure, some posts are harsh, mine included. I own that easily, it always been my personality to just call it like I see it. I have a difficult time wrapping all my comments in fluffy pink happiness. However, any time a member has asked for my help or had a crisis, I am there to support them - and overall so is everyone else - this community comes together like no other.
While we should strive to be a friendly community, we shouldn't be afraid to express ourselves or disagree with another member. I notice an increase in rudeness, I also notice an increase in being overtly sensitive to every little thing.

Overall, I don't think these type of threads are very helpful.

[Aimskylove]

That one even surprised ME - and I tend to be a bit too blunt for many member's tastes.
I think most people do post decent comments, even when disagreeing. Sure, some posts are harsh, mine included. I own that easily, it always been my personality to just call it like I see it. I have a difficult time wrapping all my comments in fluffy pink happiness. However, any time a member has asked for my help or had a crisis, I am there to support them - and overall so is everyone else - this community comes together like no other.
While we should strive to be a friendly community, we shouldn't be afraid to express ourselves or disagree with another member. I notice an increase in rudeness, I also notice an increase in being overtly sensitive to every little thing.

Overall, I don't think these type of threads are very helpful.

Yes! Lesson learned. I guess I just didn't think people would be so emotional about that kind of topic? Idk. I was thinking the way I would have responded and not how other might respond. lol. But as soon as I saw the comment I thought oh no! :scared:

[Cassie 123]

It was a rough evening, wasn't it? :laugh:

Now off to have some :gobblecheese:

[UltraBella]

Yes! Lesson learned. I guess I just didn't think people would be so emotional about that kind of topic? Idk. I was thinking the way I would have responded and not how other might respond. lol. But as soon as I saw the comment I thought oh no! :scared:

I guess I have never embraced trash talking celebrities like they have ceased to be human beings. However, that is not the norm usually.

[gypsymoth]

One of the reasons why I think I check here so regularly (even if I don't post that often) is because of how pleasant a community it is.

I admit with guilt that I sometimes enjoy reading through a thread's "drama," :o but I think it is very rare for it to be something many people would consider serious. Sometimes I tell my boyfriend about things people have posted and the way others have reacted, and he just laughs. But I'm glad that this is NOT one of the parts of the internet that makes you think "How are people so cruel, ignorant, and/or stupid?"

ETA: I completely agree with UltraBella - I'd rather people be honest than gushy-fluffy-pinky nice!

[christine1989]

What I see happening even more is when a member makes a general statement and another person takes that statement riddiculously personally.

I also agree that misunderstandings are HUGE on any internet forum. People need to READ a post carefully and comment on what it REALLY says rather than what they read into it or how they interpret it.

[UltraBella]

This is the last thing I will post tonight, because darn it, I have been sleep deprived lately due to the frequent occurrence of interesting threads and topics. It's getting out of control !
Anyway...... What I would like to say is this - blaming the entire LHC for a few posts that offend you is silly. Several times I have read statements like:
"I thought I was joining a nice community"
"This is not the friendly forum I thought it was"
"Maybe I don't want to be a part of this forum after all"

Really ????? I mean, hey, maybe you don't want to add ME to your friends or become my new best buddy, but the whole forum is not responsible for my offenses, or someone's post that was in bad taste, or a thread that got out of hand. There are absolute boat loads of kind people here, sometimes I am even one of them.

[Quezie]

I feel like this is happening more and more here. Like the rest of the internet is slowly creeping into LHC's peaceful little circle.

I don't think anyone should have to worry about getting rude, unhelpful responses when making a thread here.

[jojo]

Id like to think this is a "cheese anyone" kinda moment :cheese::cheese::cheese:

[annieangel149]

That one even surprised ME - and I tend to be a bit too blunt for many member's tastes.
I think most people do post decent comments, even when disagreeing. Sure, some posts are harsh, mine included. I own that easily, it always been my personality to just call it like I see it. I have a difficult time wrapping all my comments in fluffy pink happiness. However, any time a member has asked for my help or had a crisis, I am there to support them - and overall so is everyone else - this community comes together like no other.
While we should strive to be a friendly community, we shouldn't be afraid to express ourselves or disagree with another member. I notice an increase in rudeness, I also notice an increase in being overtly sensitive to every little thing.

Overall, I don't think these type of threads are very helpful.

lol! I am so like you ultrabella! I have always had the kind of personality that is quite blunt at times and it got me into trouble more than once, especially when i was younger! Yesterday in a post i said that someones hair style was 'horrible' which was not a good word to use! I appologise! We have to be sensitive to other peoples feelings! I have alot of people who come up to me to ask my opinion about somthing because they know i will speak the truth! Hubby says he loves that about my personality- that he knows all of me because i never hide my emotions or feelings but he also says im high maintenance lol!!!!
I love LHC so much! If i ever say somthing too harsh i need people to tell me so because i don't always see it :) I love you all xxx

[missoj]

I agree this is one of the most peaceful communities on the Internet and we're predominantly women on here so when I see a harsh comment I just think, maybe it's pms and she means no harm, just let her be.

[annieangel149]

I agree this is one of the most peaceful communities on the Internet and we're predominantly women on here so when I see a harsh comment I just think, maybe it's pms and she means no harm, just let her be.


oh yes! very good point you have made there! PMS does indeed make me crabby :p

[Lianna]

I'm like some of you, don't like everything sugar coated and fake. I don't wanna fight anyone either...

I find this smilie :horse: quite offensive...it means we can't talk about things...we are in a forum we should be able to talk about the things, explain ourselves better etc.

And we don't need to be offered cheese (which means stop talking people) everytime something gets a little interesting. I've seen this a few times when isn't really needed.

[alwayssmiling]

I hope alls well with people today - and I hope I haven't ever said anything to offend people, if so I am truly sorry.

The way I see it is...

Sometimes people post a thread which isn't going to get a good response because of the demographic of the forum. ie if someone wants to bleach, straighten, cut their hair short etc its unlikely to have lots and lots of people gushing about it because we, generally speaking are fans of long hair and taking good care of it, and are more likely to get negative responses.

Sometimes the negative responses gradually turn into mass hysteria which starts to snow ball totally out of proportion. Sometimes the same point gets laboured to death (essentially winding people up).

Sometimes (including me, and probably everybody I know) we say the wrong things without thinking first, its called being human. Sometimes there are people who are just downright horrible for the sake of being horrible - which is why we have moderation.

Sometimes we have to apologise, learn and move on.

LHC is a lovely, friendly community, and is not taking a downward turn (in my opinion) in any way shape or form. :)

Hope you all have a great day whatever you are doing :)

[Kiwiwi]

I agree with @alwayssmiling.
We are human. Overall very friendly people. This forum is doing just fine.

I understand the OP brought it up. I also understand the need to talk about it for a bit. But I do believe this forum is doing just fine :-)

[Hypnotica]

One thing to remember, is that conflict is an excellent opportunity to grow. No group will ever be free of conflict :)