My hair... makes me sad.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I have lurked this site for awhile but I finally decided to post.
And this is probably going to be very long, but i have a lot on my mind and a lot i need help with >.>
Okay, so since about the age of.. well, since i was born, i have ALWAYS had trouble growing my hair out.

Now at the age of 18, and still sporting that "just touching collar bone" look, that i have had since the age of 12, it was really starting to bother me. So I came to this site in hopes that someone could help me.
I dont know why my hair is this way but it gets to my collar bone, then just BREAKS.
There are those nice little, broken ends, you know what i mean? Those random L shaped ends. No matter how many i trim, they come back!

Now, i know what you are going to say "Damage?"
Well, yes, that could be possible, considering, well look at my hair, its blue. Obviously i color, and use harsh treatment on it. But I do get frequent trims, and my hair does grow! I bleached my hair in december of last year, cut off about 2 inches and my hair was fine and dandy, then it grew to my collar bone and just started breaking. It gets finer at that area and just pretty much either breaks or stops growing.

I look at photos of myself as an 8 year old with a pixie, and my younger sister with hair much longer than i and just get sad.
Is there any one out there that can give me some sort of,... positive word? Or someone that has been through the same that can give me some sort of hope?
Im really hoping that my collar bone is not my terminal length, that maybe im just a REALLY slow grower.

Ive even considered monistat, as i have been looking at that thread for days and it looks more and more appealing every second.

My hair routine is;
Shampoo with - Bedhead moisture maniac
Condition with - Nexxus humectress
I let my hair air dry, then use a light leave in conditioner because my hair is dry and wavy, but fine.

Thanks to anyone out there that can give me ANY sort of advice.
Right now; Ive given up coloring, straightening, and washing my hair daily.

[katienoonan]

I think giving up the colouring, straightening and heat-drying is a good start, the first year is going to be really hard though, it might be worth your while dying all of your hair one colour one last time (with something nice, like henna!) and then letting it be..

As for the breaking off at collar bone, you may want to start trying out updo's! There are buckets and buckets of threaqds on here detailing and explaining different styles of protective updos... a lot of people get breakage, wearing your hair in pigtails or buns is one way of sweeping it right outta the danger zone! ;)

As for your hairlength when young.. all you have to go on it photographs of you and your sister.. I imagine your hair may have been cut as frequently as mine at that age - every 6weeks! If your sister always had length then all that would be trimmed off is the growth she had, and the same goes for you! Thus 'stalling' any growth you may have had!

There are plenty of members here who thought their terminal length was shoulder and who now have hip length flowy hair.. Don't fret, you're in the right place! :D

:grouphug:

[Theobroma]

I second what katienoonan said. Giving up the damaging treatments is an excellent start, and now what you mainly need is patience and perseverance. If your ends are damaged enough that they're breaking at collar bone length just from friction against your body/clothing, definitely do try to wear it up more! You should be able to do a peacock twist at your length, which will at least keep your ends out of harm's way.

I also suggest you read Nightshade's article on rehabilitating damaged hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79), both for the good advice it contains and for the reassurance that, yes, it can be done. Good luck!

[Curly Hermione]

Don't worry, you've come to the right people! There are so many lovely ladies (and men!) here with gorgeous hair that give great advice. Your hair can and will get where you want it to, given the right care. I'll reitirate what katienoonan said, henna could be a good way to go for you. Or maybe even henndigo, but make sure you research it thoroughly beforehand. I'm certainly no expert, but there are loads of people here who are. Good luck and don't despair!

[starlamelissa]

Keep your blue, just change how ya do it. In stead of bleaching first, apply it straight to your hair, diluted with conditioner. Try to wear your hair up in a claw clip or soft ponytail holder. Maybe invest in a satin pillowcase. Hope that helps!!!

[UltraBella]

I think you would look AMAZING with bright flaming red henna hair !!!

My professional suggestion would be to ditch the BedHead Moisture Maniac and the Nexxus Humectress. The ingredients in the shampoo are very harsh and very drying. SD Alcohol 40 ! My hair would run away screaming. Plus the conditioner is so full of cones, it's cone OVERLOAD. Combine the two and you could have a problem.

This "moisture" shampoo can roughen your cuticle and dry your hair out, then you coat it in so many cones that the nice ingredients, like oils, can't even begin to help your hair. Ends breaking off - could be product related.
If you like cones, you can keep using them, but I would suggest a conditioner not quite so overloaded with them. I would experiment with a few cheaper conditioners and try no-cone too. I personally love Garnier Triple Nutrition. I use a bit if it distributed through my soaking wet hair as a leave in.
A low sulfate shampoo will still remove buildup but not be as harsh. Tresemme makes a low sulfate one I really like.

I wish you much success in your hair journey !

[RedDevil]

we have very similar hair, except mine is a bit curlier than yours but very FINE! With my old routine of blow outs, then flat iron finishes my hair was breaking left and right but I didnt realize it. I just figured because I didn't have much hair that it also meant it doesnt grow very long either.Well I'm almost at BSL now. And since I let it do whatever it wants it looks much thicker.
so give up the heat (its hard I know)
wear your hair up
eat some vitamins
you will get there:)

[archel]

Oh man Moisture Maniac shampoo KILLED my hair, then I realized it had alcohol AND sodium lauryl sulfate! I had to give that stuff away, it was so bad.

I'm with the other folks - stop with any heat or bleach and start treating it with oils and kid gloves and wearing it up whenever you can - you will be amazed at the difference if you just have patience :)

Welcome!

[moon2dove]

I am SO glad I joined TLHC I am also at my wits end with my hair :( It's fine curly, frizzy and thin and stuck at the same length - (Think this was due to illness) From behind it looks awful. I haven't had a hair cut for a year and have just started an oil, no shampoo just conditioner wash, after reading through here. I really want this to work. I am also putting my hair up, which I have never, ever done in the past. I really do not want to get it cut out of desperation :(

[spidermom]

I think you will have to choose between bleaching and long hair. Not everybody's hair can stand up to bleaching. Mine can't.

I would suggest using a cone free shampoo and conditioner (I'm using Shikai products right now), then a coney serum (I like CHI Silk Infusion). That way, you can control exactly how much cones go onto your hair. You could also try going cone free. Some people find that their hair doesn't break off as much without cones.

(P.S.: A coney product is anything that ends in "cone", like dimethicone, etc)

[Buggheart]

In addition to treating your hair more gently, you may need to forego the trims. I seriously tried for years to grow my hair out to be longer than just touching my shoulders but I was so mean to it that it kept breaking off. I was only successful once I stopped torturing my hair and keeping trims at a minimum. I think I trimmed about twice a year and it grew nice and long.

[Cassie 123]

Your hair strands are very fine (you already know this). If you see somebody here recommending a product or technique, check that person's hairtype - people with thick and/or coarse hair can get away with all sorts of nonsense that would destroy finer strands. (Not talking about Ultrabella's comments above - she is definitely qualified to give product advice.) Ultra-fine hair can be grown long, but it takes a lot more coddling to do it. Thick hair strands that are 200 microns across can lose 20-micron-thick chunks here and there due to rough brushes, ponytail bands, or coloring and still be ok; your strands are perhaps just 40 microns thick, and losing a chunk of cuticle is enough to snap your fine hair right off.

So I'm going to give a suggestion that you won't see much around here: first assemble all the products and tools that you'll need to coddle your hair. And then - cut it all off. You are young and gorgeous and you can pull off a pixie cut in a way most people can't. Start from scratch, and then grow out your hair, healthy and natural. If you try to hold on to the damaged ends, they are just going to keep snapping off and frustrating you.

Fine hair that is healthy and long can be so beautiful. It has a softness and drape that coarse hair like mine can never hope to emulate. I have no doubt at all that you will be able to grow your hair out long and that it is going to look wonderful. :) :blossom:

[Shelly]

I agree with the others. Try different products and definitely give up the rest. Your hair sounds kinda similar to mine. I also like the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition shampoo and conditioner. My hair loves them. Experiment. Find something your hair likes and something you get good results with.

[vendethiel]

I have fine hair and I've noticed that taking fish oil and flax oil every day (one pill each) dramatically improves the condition of my hair. It is much softer and stronger. (Now it could be the placebo effect, because I noticed a change 2 days after I started. However, it could be worth a shot)

I agree with the others, you need to baby your hair. Try some different products, but not all at once. You hair has to get used to the change, so go slow. Try using a gentler shampoo just on your scalp. And a good conditioner for your length - good here depends upon your hair. My hair likes some cones, but not more than 2.

I think you can defiantly get there, but it will take time and patience.

[Roscata]

I second what katienoonan said. Giving up the damaging treatments is an excellent start, and now what you mainly need is patience and perseverance. If your ends are damaged enough that they're breaking at collar bone length just from friction against your body/clothing, definitely do try to wear it up more! You should be able to do a peacock twist at your length, which will at least keep your ends out of harm's way.

I also suggest you read Nightshade's article on rehabilitating damaged hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79), both for the good advice it contains and for the reassurance that, yes, it can be done. Good luck!

I agree with Theobroma. Since your hair is fine I strongly suggest not bleaching it. Read Nightshade's article, follow her advice and consider pre-wash overnight coconut oiling and possibly henna.

Careful henna is permanent in the truest sense of the word (although you can get different shades by mixing it with indigo, you will only be able to have red, brown or black hair, Lush (http://www.lushusa.com/shop/products/haircare/henna-hair-dyes/) has some cool pre-mixed ones or you can buy the ingredients separately and mix it yourself (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=7)). The reason why I suggest henna is because it can make your hair strands a bit stronger (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/archive/index.php/t-59807.html) so you'll probably see less breakage.

Coconut oil (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=53786&highlight=coconut+oil) is often used by people with hair that was damaged by bleach or conventional hair dye they say it is visibly absorbed by your hair, it has been proven to penetrate the hair shaft giving it much needed moisture and protecting it from protein loss during washing.

Good luck in your hair journey! :D

[hototogisu]

I also have very fine hair (that I still colour), but I've hit bra strap length and its still growing. The things that have helped me most are, in order:

1. Using the right brushes and combs. I use a very wide tooth comb on my hair when it's wet, and a Tangle Teezer when dry. I used to use a boar bristle brush, but I actually much, MUCH prefer the Tangle Teezer.

2. Protective styling! I actually learned about this from African American women in the naturally curly forums. I get horrible mechanical damage if I let my hair whip around in the wind. My standard style is a cinnamon bun held with a large French hairpin. I take it down when I get to work, and twist it back up if I so much as set foot outside. When my hair's less than fresh I braid it, usually in a halo braid.

3. Co-washing. I can't begin to tell you how much this improved the condition of my hair, and it also helps my colour stay in much longer. I co-wash in sections. First I apply a palmful of conditioner (yes, a palmful) to the crown of my head and scrub my scalp, gently but firmly, with the pads of my fingers for 30 seconds. Then I apply a palmful to the sides of my head, dividing it between two hands, and scrub for 30 seconds. Then I flip my head over and apply a palmful to the back/underside of my head, scrubbing for 30 seconds, before scrubbing my whole head for a further 30 seconds. Then I flip back, apply 2-3 more palmfuls to my ends, then clip it up and let marinate for the rest of my shower. I comb it out befoe I rinse. It really doesn't take that long, and this way I get VERY clean hair.

4. Heavy coconut oil + clarifying shampoo + SMT on Sundays. My hair feels spectacular after this, even if I do end up wandering around for an hour with my hair under a disposable shower cap.

[HereIGrowAgain]

If you want a moisturizing regimen that is really easy, I recommend Shea Moisture products. I like the "Raw Shea" formulation (gold label) for shampoo and conditioner, and then the "Coconut and Hibiscus" (pinkish label) Curl and Style Milk for the leave in.

My hair got really, really dry and crunchy, and I tried this line out of desperation (I thought it would be to heavy, as it was designed for coarse, textured hair). I had done a henna treatment (color gloss, to be specific), and I think the lemon juice I used really did a number on my hair. It was very yucky. Anyway, I thought I was going to have to cut it all off (again!), but this stuff turned it all around.

It is around $10 a bottle for each item, and you can find it at Walgreens or Target (I'd go to Target, it's cheaper there). There are no silicons, sulfates, etc. in their stuff (at least, none of the things I have tried from their lines have... I have not read every single label for every single item).

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Could any of you guys give me products that are both sulfate and cone free?
I had no idea that cones are bad o__o And i had no idea nexxus had SO many til i got up to shower this morning.
Ive put down the straightener, im letting my hair have a rest and not coloring either.
Ive been wearing my hair up in a pony for the past few days and my hair seems to be reacting well to it.
Ive also started showering with light, baby shampoo, till i find a better one. Sulfate free shampoo seems to be a good option right now, seeing as my hair is colored. :)

[kidari]

I agree with everyone that said you should completely give up bleaching/coloring and daily heat styling. Also, Tigi Moisture Manian shampoo and conditioner were the worst I've tried! I really recommend SLS free shampoos, I personally really like the L'oreal Everpure and Everstrong lines. Also check out the thread on CO washing. It has really changed my hair. Once a week or every two weeks or so try doing a treatment for your hair. SMT and coconut milk soaks and heavy oilings are absolute saviors for my hair. There are threads on all three. Good luck growing past shoulders for the first time!

[HereIGrowAgain]

The Shea Moisture is both silicone and sulfate free.

[BlazingHeart]

One thing you may need to do is evaluate how you handle your hair and what you handle it with. People with fine hair can't abuse their hair the way some of us with coarser hair can.

Are you using a brush or a comb? If it's a brush, there are 3 kids I know of that minimize damage: one is a straight-pin brush (no balls on the ends of the pins - balltipped brushes are BAD), one is a tangle teazer, and one is a boar bristle brush. If your brush is plastic or nylon, it's probably causing you problems. If you don't know what your brush is made of, odds are that it's plastic or nylon. There's a lot of debate here on which kind of brush is best; personally I love my straight-pin brush, but I have medium-to-coarse hair, so I'm not the best person to copy. Madora especially is a big espouser of boar bristle brushes. I noticed you've already had a couple people comment about their tangle teazers.

If you're using a comb, is it your basic plastic comb you can buy anywhere? They're cast in molds, which leave seams on the comb on the inside of every tooth, which is bad news. If you've ever curled ribbons with a pair of scissors, the seam is doing something similar to your hair - and it weakens the hair. It is, you guessed it, especially damaging to fine hair. What you want is an individually cut comb - they tend to cost a little more, but they're seamless so they won't shred your hair. You can find them at places like Sally Beauty Supply, and online. I'd recommend you either get it in person or buy it from a place others have had a good experience with, as you want to make sure it'll not only be seamless but finished smooth. Run your fingers over it, and if you feel any hint of roughness, put it back. You want a wide-toothed comb, as that will put minimum stress on your hair.

Even more important than what you use is how you handle your hair. Separate out a section of hair (experience will tell you how much - with my big paddlebrush I can do quarters, but again, I have relatively tough hair, so I suggest much smaller - start with a 1" wide section), start 1-2" from the ends, and brush down to the ends. Go up 1-2" inches higher, brush down to ends. Repeat until you reach your roots, then move on to the next section. For most people, it is better to either use a comb or a tangle teazer to detangle - DON'T use a boar bristle brush to detangle (It's kind of like using a garden hoe instead of a shovel to dig - wrong tool for the job), and most people find pin brushes pull too hard for detangling. You may be able to use them for styling, but don't detangle with them. Never just rip a brush or comb through your hair, you'll break strands. The standard advice here seems to be to handle your hair like heirloom lace - carefully, gently, and as little as possible. That's part of why updos are so good - once your hair is up, nothing touches it, whereas hair that is down can rub against itself, against clothing, against your chair (when it's longer), etc.

Hope some of that is helpful!

~Blaze

[Toiréasa]

Look Here:http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2216 and here:http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=34009 you should fine all the info you need.

[TrudieCat]

I'm with UltraBella, I think it's the products you are using that might be causing a combination of dry strands and possible build-up.

Cones are NOT bad!! They are just another ingredient that some people use and some people don't. The important thing is what's good for your hair. What UltraBella was saying was that there might be too many heavy cones in your shampoo and condish that aren't being washed away entirely. You might want to try something with just one or two cones to see if you like that better.

You'll know an ingredient is a cone if it ends in, well... -cone. :lol: Also, some cones end in -xane or -conal. NOTE: ingredients that end in -none are NOT cones!

Here (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curly-q-a/whats-the-scoop-on-silicones) is some good info re: which cones are more or less water soluble, and which ingredients will remove them (thus eliminating build-up). My suggestions would be not to overthink this, just experiment with some different shampoos and conditioners and see what you like. :) Good luck! And I really like that blue!

[spidermom]

Find another style, a ponytail can be VERY damaging. Many people find that they have lots of broken hair right at where the hair elastic fits for a ponytail.

I suggest gathering hair at your nape, gently twist, and pin to your sclap with a claw clip (this is a peacock twist). Check the clip for rough seams, and if you find any, either sand them down or look for a different clip.

[lacefrost]

One quick thing. If you do still want to have unnaturally colored hair, pick one section of hair to do it too. Grab a chunk of your bangs to color and leave the rest of your hair alone. That way you won't get the itch to bleach and color and ruin all your hard work.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

One quick thing. If you do still want to have unnaturally colored hair, pick one section of hair to do it too. Grab a chunk of your bangs to color and leave the rest of your hair alone. That way you won't get the itch to bleach and color and ruin all your hard work.

I actually do that already, i dont really color my hair anymore. Just my bangs :)

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

Toiréasa
Re: My hair... makes me sad.
Look Here:http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/...ead.php?t=2216 and here:http://archive.longhaircommunity.com...ad.php?t=34009 you should fine all the info you need.


Thank you SO much! :)


BlazingHeart
Re: My hair... makes me sad.
One thing you may need to do is evaluate how you handle your hair and what you handle it with.

Ill change brushes, i never really thought about that since my hair does not tangle easy unlike a lot of other peoples hair.


spidermom
Re: My hair... makes me sad.
Find another style, a ponytail can be VERY damaging. Many people find that they have lots of broken hair right at where the hair elastic fits for a ponytail.

I suggest gathering hair at your nape, gently twist, and pin to your sclap with a claw clip (this is a peacock twist). Check the clip for rough seams, and if you find any, either sand them down or look for a different clip.

I actually dont find my hair to break in pony tails, but ill try anything at this point.


Thanks guys, you have really been a lot of help. :) Im starting to feel much better now that i have met you guys.

[leslissocool]

This was my hair. Now I have super coarse thick hair, the type you can run over with a semi truck and still won't break. So I thought I could bleach it 7 times going from black to blond, do all crazy colors to the point where I got a chemical cut. It was really really bad.


http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=6166&pictureid=80555

What worked for me was a pre- wash hot oil treatment. get extra virgin olive oil, heat it up but make sure it doesn't burn you (almost like a baby bottle), damp you hair and put the oil on. Wrap it with plastic, and if you have a heat pad put it on your head and wait for one hour. After that go wash your hair regularly with a low sulfate shampoo (you had really good suggestions). and then condition as normal.

Chemicals can literally melt your hair.

I'd suggest looking into henna when you are ready to give up the dye. Henna thickens your hair and it literally saved my hair. Here you are in good hands, even if it takes longer if you take care of your hair it will grow and not break. :blossom:

[pixiedust]

Your situation reminds me of where I was when I came to lhc, but I've gained a lot of growth and my hair is healthier now than it has even been in my entire life (: we also have very similar hairtypes so maybe I can offer some suggestions.

First off, I second the ShiKai products that spidermom mentioned in her earlier post. The shampoo that I like to use (shikai deep shampoo) does contain amodimethicone, but I find that it is very helpful with getting the shampoo to rinse out without causing my hair to matte and tangle. Amodimethicone is also considered a water soluble 'cone, so it doesn't build up as badly.

Also spidermom mentioned the peacock twist with the claw clip; I prefer this over the ponytail for my fine hair, because it helps reduce the ponytail breakage (ponytail breakage on fine hair often manifests itself in a way that appears to make one look like half their head is bangs, see my sig pic for reference, haha) ponytail holders and fine hair just don't go well together, imo.

Glad to see you found us, lhc is full of helpful info and wonderful support !

Ps, just wanted to show you this as an example of how very similar I was when I joined. Only difference was that I had cut my chin/shoulderlength hair off into a 1"-3" all over pixie about 2 monthes prior to this picture - which was, by the way, about 7 1/2 months ago. My hair has been growing like a weed ever since (and I've trimmed about 3 inches total since then)

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a155/dietcokeandconverse/bid5.jpg

[Neneka]

You have already got a good advice but has anyone mentioned cassia yet? I haven't used it but I have heard that it can make hair a bit stronger like henna. Cassia just doesn't dye (it can give a golden tone to a light coloured hair though).

Anyway. There is a lot of things to try. I recommend reading articles in Articles section. Here, if you haven't found it yet: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php :)

[PurusNox]

Definitely stop with the straightening and coloring, my hair is so much more healthy and grows faster now that I've stopped :D

[Venefica]

Just like our bodies are all different, so is hair, perhaps your hair can not take the chemical treatment you are giving it. I know it sounds harsh, and I do not mean it to, but perhaps you have to choose if you want your hair to be long or if you want your hair to be blue. Shoulder length and blue is rather cute to.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

I have given up coloring, like i previously said :) Ive come to terms with the fact that having blue hair is cute, but now i would much rather have long brown hair, then short black and blue :)

[Melanie Marie]

It's always rough when you are first starting out, but it will get better. Really! Just stick to a good routine, and eventually you will see just how glorious your results are! :blossom:

[leslissocool]

I have given up coloring, like i previously said :) Ive come to terms with the fact that having blue hair is cute, but now i would much rather have long brown hair, then short black and blue :)

It's going to be a long process. Give your hair some love with hot oil treatments, and gentle products!

I trimmed slowly the chemical damage. It took me a while, but I am now almost at Tbl and have like 4 inches left. What I did was let it grow and then slowly (every 6 months trim 2 inches) cut the damage off. I don't blowdry or straighten.

take pictures of your hair on the same day every month, that'll give you a good idea of how fast it's growing. I'd suggest taking some hair and nails vitamins and multi vitamin. I drink them every night :) so I don't forget.

You'll find that there are many gorgeous heads of long thin hair here!

[WinterButterfly]

Really good hair is possible as you take care of it. I think you can reach longer lengths than you are at now. If you are dealing with breakage, this is probably a false terminal length. I also went through some time where my hair was barely growing. But then I started eating more meats and grains. It grows a lot faster now. I find that I need to watch my protien and iron contents to stay healthy. If you are not getting the right nutrition for you, then your hair will show it.