Should I just chop the lot off?

[Rusticular]

I've been getting quite frustrated lately with the condition of my hair, and recently there's a nagging little voice at the back of my mind telling me to chop the lot off and start all over again. First-off, I don't want to. I don't feel right with short hair. It's not me, and it's not comfortable.

I've never bleached, dyed, or straightened my hair. The damage is from years of just not bothering to cut it regularly, tearing through my hair with ridiculously brutal brushes, and extremely bad eating habits that slowed growth, and what did was quite brittle. There are so many fly-aways and stretchy broken/split ends that's just starting to get to me.

Is it worth gritting my teeth and bearing it, S&D-ing through the whole lot, or would I be better off in your eyes just starting over? I really need an outside opinion, as I can't really trust my own at times(y'know, you get so wound-up over things you just can't see the forest for the trees).

Aaand here it is:
http://tinypic.com/r/33ygg9x/7

Thanks guys. :}

[C.H.]

Honestly, having looked at your picture, I do not find your hair to be in such terribly bad condition that cutting it all off and starting over from scratch seems called for. Not even close. Given how troubled you are by past abuse, you would probably do well with a strong trimming regimen--say 1/2 or 1 inch per month for the next several months. You'll be amazed how quickly it will transform by doing this. But cutting it off entirely seems like overkill, especially if you feel you are not suited for short hair.

[juliaxena]

I don't see any damage???:confused:

[Cassie 123]

After all that you wrote, I was really surprised to see your lovely, smooth, silky, soft-looking, shiny hair. Come on now. I really think it's a nice length, too, so I'd say don't take off much at all if you cut, just a little maintenance trim. Maybe try a new deep-treatment, like cassia or a new conditioner so that you can make peace with it. It already looks quite healthy.

[Rusticular]

Maybe it's time to shut that annoying little voice in the back of my head up. I think it's really the weakness of the hair and broken bits that's really got me paranoid. I have a terrible habit of looking at the flaws in everything, and not seeing the rest(the same thing goes for sketching and painting, ha), and however much care I put into detangling, I'm always breaking hairs off.

Time to get myself a good pair of trimming scissors. Aloe and jojoba are said to be good for taming flyaways? Would it be safe to go out and get the aloe straight from the plant, or buy from the store?

I'm sorry to put this stupid question to you guys; but who better to ask than LHC? Thanks so much for easing my fears. :}

[MissManda]

Honestly, having looked at your picture, I do not find your hair to be in such terribly bad condition that cutting it all off and starting over from scratch seems called for. Not even close. Given how troubled you are by past abuse, you would probably do well with a strong trimming regimen--say 1/2 or 1 inch per month for the next several months. You'll be amazed how quickly it will transform by doing this. But cutting it off entirely seems like overkill, especially if you feel you are not suited for short hair.

These are my thoughts exactly. I microtrimmed and maintained between Waist and Hip length my hair as described above for about a year and experienced a huge transformation in the quality of my hair, especially my hemline. All splits and damage in my hem all but disappeared and the thickness in my length/ends more than doubled with a trimming regimen like that.

Your hair doesn't look terrible at all, so please don't chop it off!

[terryn]

I agree that it doesn't look to me to be in bad enough condition to warrant cutting the whole lot off... especially if that's not what you want to do. S&D the whole lot, yes, and maybe a small trim off the ends, not much maybe an inch or so.

I think what will help you more is doing some deep treatments. You said you have stretchy parts? Try a protein treatment, do an SMT and then reevaluate. Hair can't be made perfect, but it can be perfect enough. :)

[Rusticular]

I'll have to do a bit of lurking and figure out which protein treatment tends to wield the most successful results, and definitely do a bit of experimenting. Are supermarket brand treatments worth it, or have you had better luck with others?

Edit: Quite a lot of the damage is underneath, but it has a tendency to pop through the layers and wag its proverbial tongue at me. Microtrimming sounds like the way to go.

[ghilliegirl_an]

As others have said you're hair looks pretty healthy to me, I do understand though that sometimes there is damage that others can't see. I had very damaged virgin hair when I came to LHC but I did straighten it and looking at my hair then I figured I would need to cut off at least 12 inches to get rid of the existing damage. I have had long hair all my life and like you didn't want to cut it and don't feel like myself with short hair. What I did was figure out about how much my hair grows in a month and every 2 months or so cut off that much hair, that way my hair was still the same length and even growing a little bit but the damage was slowly being cut off. After 10 months of LHC loved and heat free hair I have cut off roughly 3 inches(I'm bad about scheduling trims) and my hair feels soo much better already. There is still some damage there from hairs that broke off higher up and some mechanical damage but overall my hair is so much better than I though it would be and I'm having a hard time now finding splits in my hair even though I know it still has damage. So my advice for you because I relate with how you feel is to get a small trim now and you will see how much better even that small amount does, be as kind to your hair as possible and see how you're hair reacts. After taking better care of my hair I have totally reevaluated my trimming plans and realize that I only really needed 6 or so inches rather than 12.

-Ashley

[Arya]

uhhmmmm...
Where's the problem?
The last inch looks a little dry.
Everything else looks fine! Are you sure you're just not used to seeing the condition of long hair? It's pretty rare to see hair that long without some damage. It will never be as silky as it was at shoulder. I really can't see what's wrong here!

[Rusticular]

As others have said you're hair looks pretty healthy to me, I do understand though that sometimes there is damage that others can't see. I had very damaged virgin hair when I came to LHC but I did straighten it and looking at my hair then I figured I would need to cut off at least 12 inches to get rid of the existing damage. I have had long hair all my life and like you didn't want to cut it and don't feel like myself with short hair. What I did was figure out about how much my hair grows in a month and every 2 months or so cut off that much hair, that way my hair was still the same length and even growing a little bit but the damage was slowly being cut off. After 10 months of LHC loved and heat free hair I have cut off roughly 3 inches(I'm bad about scheduling trims) and my hair feels soo much better already. There is still some damage there from hairs that broke off higher up and some mechanical damage but overall my hair is so much better than I though it would be and I'm having a hard time now finding splits in my hair even though I know it still has damage. So my advice for you because I relate with how you feel is to get a small trim now and you will see how much better even that small amount does, be as kind to your hair as possible and see how you're hair reacts. After taking better care of my hair I have totally reevaluated my trimming plans and realize that I only really needed 6 or so inches rather than 12.

-Ashley

I think it's time to start properly measuring my hair again. Always wary of doing so just in case it isn't growing as fast as I'd like, haha. Even if it takes a while, as long as I can take note of gradual improvement I'll feel a lot better for it.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I needed to ease my perfectionism and bring it back to a real lever, apparantly, and now I'm feeling quite a lot better about taking it slowly. My next post won't be quite so ridiculous.

[terryn]

I've personally never actually used a protein treatment, so I can't give any recommendations. I've just been on LHC long enough to know that stretchy often means in need of protein. I hope you find something that works tho!

[neko_kawaii]

I can't see any damage from the picture. S&D and treat it nicely and you will feel better about it. I noticed my hair last month for the first time in about three years. Full of split ends. I've been doing S&D once a week to try to remove them from my length and ends. The first mistake I made was to trim just the split part. Once I realized that, I started cutting an inch or so above the split and the number of splits I've seen each S&D session has diminished. I have a friend who is a stylist with long hair of her own and I'm going to have her even out and finish trimming off any damage at the ends and then I'll do my own regular micro trims from there.

One thing to remind yourself about the flyaways in your length is that shed hairs do grow back and they grow at the same rate as the rest of your hair. What is the average for daily shed hairs? 100? So every day 100 new hairs start to grow. After a month, if you have average growth, they are 1/2 inch long. After a year they are 6 inches long. Etc, etc. Which means you will always have flyaways throughout your length and thank goodness for that!

[Mesmerise]

Your hair looks fine to me! I agree with everyone else that you don't need to drastically cut it. Maybe give it a 1" trim to get rid of the worst ends, then give it lots of TLC and regular trims to gradually get rid of damage.

[Hamh]

Your hair looks fine to me! I agree with everyone else that you don't need to drastically cut it. Maybe give it a 1" trim to get rid of the worst ends, then give it lots of TLC and regular trims to gradually get rid of damage.

I second this, nothing drastic needed Aotearoa!!! Your length is what I am striving for please don't chop it! :)

[McFearless]

Your hair is beautiful. Don't cut it :(

[newbeginning]

It looks long, healthy and soft. I don't see any problems.

[torrilin]

What I'd do in your position is do a clarifying wash, then something to deal with hard water build up (I use diluted apple cider vinegar, but there are a bunch of options), and then slather your hair in your favorite conditioner. That will make it easiest to see just how bad your split ends are.

If you've got enough split ends that the end of a ponytail or braid has more split hairs than not, definitely start with a trim. I'd be pretty ruthless, because trims are a very brute force way of dealing with splits, and as other posters mentioned, our shed and regrowth cycle means you'll have hairs of all different lengths on your head. What I do to assess for this sort of ruthless trim is fully detangle my hair, then fingercomb from my scalp to the ends. The point where my fingers get caught in tangles is about where the trim needs to be. My hair is never split free, but splits definitely contribute to my tangle level. I'll usually allow about 2-3 weeks to decide exactly how much needs to come off if my splits are bad enough to warrant a trim.

Most of the time tho, my hair will come through fine, and there will be my usual moderate splits. A bout of search and destroy will usually improve matters.

[celebriangel]

For protein:

Cassia
mix including egg yolks, e.g. egg yolk plus conditioner
mayonnaise (good mayonnaise, preferably. Crap mayonnaise doesn't have enough egg in it to be worthwhile).

Then, afterwards, do a moisture treatment. Directly afterwards, ideally. A good recipe is an SMT:

4 parts conditioner
1 part aloe vera gel (use any kind that is clear and doesn't have alcohol on the ingredients list. Fresh from the plant is ideal)
1 part honey/molasses/syrup.

Mix. If using honey, microwave for 15 seconds to prevent any lightening (just the honey - then add other ingredients).

And since you are new, I should mention that deep treatments should be done with conefree conditioner, particularly if they include other ingredients. You should also probably clarify your hair (shampoo with clear shampoo the whole length thoroughly) first, in case you have product buildup which might prevent the deep treatment from doing much.

I have personally always found that homemade deep treatments were much more effective than anything I bought from shops. Shop-bought stuff is full of cones, and while it made my hair *look* nice, it didn't do anything for the condition.

Once you've done this, then you can reassess your hair. If your hair is breaking off - ie you find 2 inch long pieces when you comb - then yes, you need a trim, but your hair looks like you only need a tiny trim, say one inch to start with. Then see how you feel.

Perhaps you only feel like your hair is damaged because it needs LHC love? Tangly, grabby, stretchy hair can be evidence of coney buildup, hard water buildup, and too little protein. So do the above before you do any chopping.

[noelgirl]

Your hair really looks lovely - I think often we're our own worst critics! If you're concerned about old damage, just from here on out continue taking better care of your hair, and it will get better. It's not an overnight thing - that's why it's the long hair journey.

[May]

Why don't you just get a trim and that way it will feel a little different and refreshed but you won't loose your length! Chopping it ALL is so extreme. :)

[ZeppHead]

Get a trim and see how you feel. How your hair looks to others compared to how you see it are usually two different things, I think your hair looks healthy!

[Saraya]

Your hair looks healthy to me! Wish mine was that long. Maybe try a deeper conditioner and a little serum on the ends when your hair is damp. Should take care of the problem. : )

[Anje]

To me it looks a little dry, but not bad at all. If you don't want to cut it off, I recommend trying a few things for rehabing hair before trimming, and then trim, don't chop.

(1) Clarify. Get a good sulfate-loaded clarifying shampoo. Suave makes a decent one, but you can get Neutrogena Anti-Residue if you want to pay more. Wash with your shampoo undiluted from root to tip, and lather your hair all the way down. Maybe do it twice. Clarifying is harsh, so you don't want to do this all the time, but every so often buildup causes major problems.

Your hair might feel fantastic after clarifying, but more likely it'll be a bit dry. Condition with whatever your favorite deep conditioner is.

(2) See if you need protein or moisture. This is a fantastic article on assessing what your hair needs (http://blackbeautyblackhair86911.yuku.com/topic/511/t/Hair-Breakage-and-Shedding-101.html), but the short version is that hair that's stretchy, mushy, and limp needs protein; hair that's dry but more snappy and rough and doesn't want to stretch much needs moisture treatments.

For moisture, I'm a huge fan of SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128)s. For protein (which my hair rather dislikes), I'm told that commercial treatments like Joico KPAK Reconstructor and Aphogee 2-Step treatments are great.

Hope that helps!

[LouLaLa]

Dont do it! Just get a decent trim and do a really deep conditionig treatment, itll feel like a different had of hair.

I was where you are once with waist length hair and cut it all off and I regretted it massively as it has taken such a long time to grow out and im still doing it now. Even short her gets splits so you have to trim and the vicious cycle makes it harder to get back that lovelly hair you hacked off during an annoying week.

Good luck :)