When she cuts her hair.....Look out

[xcrunr2go]

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/53.htm

[joesgirl2011]

This is me to a "T"! Wow...thanks for posting.

[Kiwiwi]

Oh yeah, that's me.

When my father was dying of cancer i chopped my hair short, and a few weeks later completely short, a few days later dyed it blonde, red and black again in a few weeks.

The article says it's about feeling feminine. I don't believe that.
I believe it's taking control of something you can 100% take control of when it feels like you have absolutely NO control over what's happening in your life.
That's often the case with anorexia too, for example. We have total control over what we do to our bodies. It's only thing always there. When life gets overwhelming and we want to have a sense of control, we change our appearance... Just because we CAN. So that SOMETHING will be different, new, something else..

[lacefrost]

Yeah. . .I've wanted to cut my hair when I felt really bad. It's something you can destroy without actually hurting something. And sometimes you feel like if you change your hair, in a way you're changing your life too.

[CathyEarnshaw]

Wow....
I can't tell you how much I disagree with this article. For me, hair is just hair. I'm growing mine just to see what it's like to have long hair as I've never had it. My romantic life is not so great so having longer hair has nothing to do with it. I can say that I was much happier romantically when I had my hair buzz cut as I did for most of my life.

My hair also does not in any way represent my femininity. I have alway felt very, very feminine despite wearing my hair like a boy. In fact, I felt that looking and being very feminine and having boyish hair was what made the look interesting and charming. I could get away with it and still look very feminine as can many women. I am seeing a current trend of pixie cuts on many young celebrities who look lovely and very feminine with short hair.

Conversely, I've seen many women with gorgeous, long hair that I feel look masculine in the face. I believe these women must rely on their hair to be seen as feminine or sexy. Giselle Bundchen is one of those women in my opinion. I don't want to offend anyone....it is just my opinion. Do a little photoshopping on Giselle and see what she looks like with short hair.

I've also never heard of a bad day referred to "a bad hair day". A bad hair day has always meant just that to me....a day when your hair looks bad.

This statement in the article just floored me: " But almost all of us have the ability to grow long, feminine, beautiful hair, something that is not only rewarded and encouraged as a sexual, sensual, beautiful thing by men but also something that doesn't require genetic good luck or unreasonable effort to attain."

I've never read anything that seems further from the truth. I feel that very few of us have the ability to grow long, beautiful hair. It is a rarity to be able to do so. I believe that is why most women wear their hair short. Long hair is not always beautiful and sexy or sensual. I've seen long hair that looks like a rat's nest or truely witchy. Silky, shiny healthy beautiful hair is a rarityand is, I believe genetic.

There's nothing wrong with women who cut their hair. Short hair is not a symbol of discontent or anger. Short hair is fun, carefree, and can be very sexy.

I can say that I never had any trouble finding dates when I had very short hair.

[archel]

Ohhhhhhhhhh yes. After a 3 year bad relationship, I broke up with the guy for the 3rd time and cut my waist length hair to my chin. Yep yep yep - I even refer to it as my "life change hair cut."

[archel]

I do think *most* of the article is BS, though. I kept that short hair cut for 3 years, rocked it, had lots of dates and fun and was pretty happy. But yes I will cut it during big traumatic episodes, so there's something to it...but this is a really overgeneralized and exaggerated article for the most part.

[UltraBella]

What a load of POO ! I completely think that article is ridiculous.

[neko_kawaii]

I had to laugh. I did once cut waist length hair quite short to help forget a man but that was because he had a thing about my hair and I remembered him every time I brushed it and I really wanted to get him out of my mind! And hair is just hair. It worked too. But I just couldn't read the whole article, it was such nonsense.

[Cassie 123]

Complete :bs:

[kiwiipop]

From the article: "When they cut it all off...It's a clear gesture of defiance, or dissatisfaction, or despair, a spiteful kind of emotional kick in the balls."

...:crazyq:

I'm not a kid. If I cut my hair I'm not doing it to be defiant or spiteful, I'm doing it because I feel like it. Who are these dudes thinking our hair is about them? What a load of hooey.

[christine1989]

I think this can be true but certainly not always. I cut my hair mainly because I'm bored with it but I know many friends who fit this article perfectly.

[MinderMutsig]

I wanted to read it but I had to stop because it was pissing me off too much. What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

[kidari]

It was an interesting read. I can see how you can have significant emotional attachments with your hair but really I think this person was reading WAY too much into it.

[McFearless]

I wanted to read it but I had to stop because it was pissing me off too much. What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

Preach


.

[Ishje]

that does not sound like me, but, it is a very interesting bit to read!

[Charybdis]

I wanted to read it but I had to stop because it was pissing me off too much. What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

Sing it, sister. Now, mind you, if I was married to a man who believed this nonsense, I MIGHT buzzcut my hair out of spite, right before I kicked his ass to the curb. Which would then of course be taken as confirmation of this ridiculous theory. :rolleyes:

[mrs_coffee]

What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

My comment was going to be "Yay misogyny!" and some other stuff, but you said it better.

[Ashenputtel]

I was also going to talk about misogyny. Being a woman is so much more than that. I could dress like a man, shave my head, change sexual orientation and do activities considered like manly and I wouldn't be less of a woman.

[discoisntdead]

If you are an adult and you have a vagina, then you are a woman, period. Hair length has nothing to do with it.

[AcornMystic]

That article to me has a certain measure of accuracy. However, I was waiting, while reading, for it to mention attempting to shed yourself of issues, start over new, and taking control of the situation after the fact of separation. Though I guess from the title it was more of on prevention/precautionary measures.

When my first love, whom I'd known for 2 years online before meeting him (from the US east coast), left me for a model who lived on the other side of the world (New Zealand) I was devastated. I have to say that was the closest thing I can compare to what I imagine as the feeling of dying, and the feeling not going away for a long time. First love heart ache is a *****.

2 months after meeting him he announces that he's with her now and describes the way she made him feel. I tried to warn him she was a sl*t, but he got his come-up'ns in the end about a year later. At any rate, the fact that he'd been with me through my father's passing (even though that event actually allowed him to show his true colors as a weak minded person) and introduced me to love, us sharing a part of each other we hadn't shared with anyone before, was bad enough, but to leave me for a model was a blow, since I was already self-conscious about my under-bite. Something that no woman should have to experience.

After that experience I gave myself, yes I did it, an elevated bob, and dyed my hair a rich red (my avatar is from a photo shoot that was done a couple months after it happened, while I was still going through the aftermath. I look happier than I am, but doing that took a weight off of my shoulders and I shone.) That wasn't to feel feminine or cut him off. He was already gone and I was left to deal with the feelings he left me with. My desirableness and femininity was already shot. I did it because I needed that sense of control over the situation, even though I was the only one who it would effect. I needed to feel new again and untouched. So honestly, it doesn't always have everything to do with trying to affect your surroundings, it can be in an attempt to affect yourself because of your surroundings.

Wow, I didn't mean to write a bio. Sorry.:o

[slz]

"women who cut their hair are denying their husbands the pleasure they know they derive from it."

Yeah because, like everybody knows, a woman's actions are always geared toward men, since as inferior beings they do not function independently but just in reaction to men.
Gosh, way to take a real fact (life change --often-> change in appearance) and distort it in a totally unfounded way.

[BeckyAH]

If you are an adult and you have a vagina, then you are a woman, period. Hair length has nothing to do with it.

Not really, no. Sex != Gender. Sex is what's between your legs, gender's what's in your head.

[Bill D.]

This statement in the article just floored me: " But almost all of us have the ability to grow long, feminine, beautiful hair, something that is not only rewarded and encouraged as a sexual, sensual, beautiful thing by men but also something that doesn't require genetic good luck or unreasonable effort to attain."

I've never read anything that seems further from the truth. I feel that very few of us have the ability to grow long, beautiful hair. It is a rarity to be able to do so. I believe that is why most women wear their hair short. Long hair is not always beautiful and sexy or sensual. I've seen long hair that looks like a rat's nest or truely witchy. Silky, shiny healthy beautiful hair is a rarityand is, I believe genetic.

When I was in high school the fashion was for girls to have long or at least longish, undyed, unpermed hair and most did, from shoulder to lower back range. In most cases their hair looked pretty and healthy. Moving to the present time, most natural (unpermed) long hair I see on women where I live looks healthy, shiny, and attractive.

I disagree with your statement as a generalization about hair, though there are certainly individuals to whom it applies very well. That does not mean I agree with the article, though.

Bill D.

[discoisntdead]

Not really, no. Sex != Gender. Sex is what's between your legs, gender's what's in your head.

Okay, what's the difference?

[NotInPortland]

What a ridiculous article. My hair is my own and has nothing to do with any damn man in my life thank you, honestly must everything a woman do somehow tie back to a man? :rolleyes:

[NotInPortland]

Okay, what's the difference?
Generally sex=biological differences and gender=social and cultural differences, in a nutshell. A quick google search will bring up plenty of info on the differences between the terms.

[Toadstool]

Good heavens! I thought it was a joke article.

[AcornMystic]

Okay, what's the difference?

http://www.med.monash.edu.au/gendermed/sexandgender.html

[florenonite]

I like this bit:


If you don't believe it, just look at what's been happening in Hollywood.

I wasn't aware that external interpretations of celebrities' lives qualified as psychological explanations for mass behaviour.

I didn't get any further into that rubbish. Hair is just hair, and by and large women make decisions regarding their appearance because of what they want, not what men want.


Generally sex=biological differences and gender=social and cultural differences, in a nutshell. A quick google search will bring up plenty of info on the differences between the terms.

To add to this, you can be one biological sex and identify as another. I think it gets confusing because people feel like 'sex' is a dirty word so use 'gender' in a biological sense.

[noelgirl]

Something tells me that this guy has been left a lot, and he really wants to rationalize it in a way that doesn't actually implicate his own responsibility in said relationships. Dude, even if she says "It's not you, it's me," when it's every woman you've been with, it really is you.

[pink.sara]

Rubbish.
Gender stereotyping much? "when a woman cuts her hair off she's cutting men off"?!!! What about my lesbian friend with the classic length, highlighted, meticulously straightened blonde mane then? Is she after validation as an attractive female from a man? I don't think so.
And did I cut my TBL black hair to shoulder and dye it blonde because I was under emotional stress? No, I wa in a good job, in a nice house, with my totally gorgeous SO whom I adore and was completely happy with. I just had never had blonde short hair before. And it was lots of fun for a while. No more. No less.

[Susana]

Ironically, I used to cut my hair at the beginning of relationships, maybe to look fresher? :confused:I dunno. I don't think things are as simple as "If she wants to cut her hair, she is unhappy and wants to take her hair away from you". :rolleyes:Sometimes, it could be that she wants a change, and is starting with her hair and finishing with you, but I would not generalize. Imagine if whenever a wife came home with a haircut the husband starts asking her why she is really unhappy with him and is crying for his attention.:eye::laugh:

Actually, I have been wanting to cut my hair on and off for about 6 months now, since I had my baby. It is mostly because I always end up just putting it up without much thought as I rush out the door doing the same old English braid. I am usually only inclined to cutting it when its greasy as I look very awful, so I think I am just going to make sure that it doesn't get to that stage lol. When it's freshly washed I am glad I didn't give myself a bob :shudder: lol:cheese:. I hope to keep such thoughts at bay lol:demon: it would be a drastic change from waist to bob and I don;t have much of a middle ground.:hmm:

[Lamb]

For crying out loud. This is a provocative, mysoginistic website. Look at this other little gem:


Women who choose not to take their husband's surname after marriage are not sexually attracted to them, and will likely be the one to initiate divorce.
When a woman feels metaphysically submissive to a man, when she admires all the masculine qualities he exhibits and deems him worthy of submitting to, sexually speaking, she will gladly become "his" and take his name. This is the essence of femininity.

How could anyone take any of what's on that site seriously, even for a split second??

[slz]

Yikes - excuse me while I vomit blood from all of my natural orifices simultaneously (yeah I'm classy like that).



ETA

this guy
Actually "All contents © Leanne Bell".

[Bene]

Normally I'd disagree with that article, but I DID go out and have all my hair chopped off when I quit my job. At the moment, I didn't think much about it, but a few days later it occurred to me that I kind of was getting rid of the old stress and nonsense that had been accumulating in me because of that job. New owner, with massive Napoleonic complex and a tendency to scream, who started going losing his temper with me right after I declined a promotion, which he tried to throw on me even though I told him that I was starting classes and that I wouldn't be in any position to take on the extra responsibility. I loved the people I worked with, but I knew he was running the business into the ground and I wanted to concentrate on school.

So yeah, maybe there is something to a big chop.

[pink.sara]

Hahaha, I just read some other stuff on this website. What a classic!! I'll save it to show my Sociologist (neo-feminist, lesbian) friend. It will make her piss boil! Then we'll have a laugh at it ;)

[noelgirl]

Yikes - excuse me while I vomit blood from all of my natural orifices simultaneously (yeah I'm classy like that).



ETA

Actually "All contents © Leanne Bell".

Missed that! So a woman wrote this? You could knock me over with a feather.

[ZeppHead]

I think when I was in a relationship I felt like he would hate it if I cut my hair, so I kept it even though I know it was damaged. When we broke up 6" came off! Of course I regretted it shortly after but it was needed for liberation and change. It signified me moving on. I still miss my hair but I know by next summer it will be back so no harm done.

[Lamb]

Missed that! So a woman wrote this? You could knock me over with a feather.

It could be a man's pseudonym, or it could be a seriously deluded woman. :shrug: At any rate, it's just a name, we have no way of knowing who is behind it.

[redcelticcurls]

I wanted to read it but I had to stop because it was pissing me off too much. What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

Seriously.

I can't believe people still tie evetything a woman does to having something to do with a man. What a piece of crap.

[kitschy]

I can tell you that when my life fell apart completely, I buzzed my hair.

I also at one time was a cutter. Inflicting physical pain somehow release emotional pain. I think buzzing my hair was definitely tied to the emotional pain I felt the year I was 37.

[Cassie 123]

http://www.med.monash.edu.au/gendermed/sexandgender.html

Thanks for the link on sex vs. gender. This is quite different (and better, I think) from what they taught when I was in school, back in the late cretaceous period.

[Ashenputtel]

I think the most chocking part was when she said that not all woman have the ability to be physically beautiful...

WTH? You are not beautiful you might as well have long hair, go to the gym and wear nice clothes? Just to put all the chances on your side? There are other things way more important than beauty...

[elbow chic]

I hate when people mix up "elicit" and "illicit."

That said, there is something to her idea. I agree with Kiwiwi, it's a control thing for when things are feeling way out of control. It's a baby-step toward re-defining your life, "cutting off" the all the snarls and complications and damage of the old and starting something fresh.

Feels good, man. :laugh: It's like losing forty pounds, except without all the tedious calorie counting and deadly dull gym visits.

[Kricket]

Haha -- wow. Girls at my school definitely feel this way. =)

[Malibu Barbie]

Wow, so sterotypical...I hate this kind of reporting. My hair is not attached to my emotions.:rolleyes:

[jeanniet]

I've cut my hair when I was bored, or maybe looking for some excitement, but never because of a bump in my marriage. I've sure had it short plenty of times without wanting to file for divorce. In that sense, I think what she wrote was a big pile of hooey. Changing your appearance doesn't always have to mean anything more than you wanted something different.

[BlazingHeart]

I've had exactly ONE time when I cut my hair because of a guy...and it's because there was an abusive situation that involved him grabbing my hair, and right after that I chopped it all off because frankly I couldn't trust him to not do it again (as that event had happened after the damn relationship was over and he was STILL doing crap like that).

Other than that, I've cut my hair because I wanted to. I wanted a short style, I wanted to not be carrying around a blanket that was roasting me, etc. No reference to a man involved in any of those.

Gee, we can't possible have wimmins who make their own decisions for their own reasons...

~Blaze

[Unofficial_Rose]

Have I woken up in the 1950's again? :confused:

[MagicAndMayhem]

Oh crap. Two years ago when I broke off a relationship, I cut my hip length hair to APL. Never again!!!!

ETA: I didn't read the whole article, but from the comments here, I think I can infer that it's a pile. :poop:

[faithsdaisy421]

Not really, no. Sex != Gender. Sex is what's between your legs, gender's what's in your head.
So true. Thank you for saying it! :blossom:

[oktobergoud]

Wow....
I can't tell you how much I disagree with this article. For me, hair is just hair. I'm growing mine just to see what it's like to have long hair as I've never had it. My romantic life is not so great so having longer hair has nothing to do with it. I can say that I was much happier romantically when I had my hair buzz cut as I did for most of my life.

My hair also does not in any way represent my femininity. I have alway felt very, very feminine despite wearing my hair like a boy. In fact, I felt that looking and being very feminine and having boyish hair was what made the look interesting and charming. I could get away with it and still look very feminine as can many women. I am seeing a current trend of pixie cuts on many young celebrities who look lovely and very feminine with short hair.

Conversely, I've seen many women with gorgeous, long hair that I feel look masculine in the face. I believe these women must rely on their hair to be seen as feminine or sexy. Giselle Bundchen is one of those women in my opinion. I don't want to offend anyone....it is just my opinion. Do a little photoshopping on Giselle and see what she looks like with short hair.

I've also never heard of a bad day referred to "a bad hair day". A bad hair day has always meant just that to me....a day when your hair looks bad.

This statement in the article just floored me: " But almost all of us have the ability to grow long, feminine, beautiful hair, something that is not only rewarded and encouraged as a sexual, sensual, beautiful thing by men but also something that doesn't require genetic good luck or unreasonable effort to attain."

I've never read anything that seems further from the truth. I feel that very few of us have the ability to grow long, beautiful hair. It is a rarity to be able to do so. I believe that is why most women wear their hair short. Long hair is not always beautiful and sexy or sensual. I've seen long hair that looks like a rat's nest or truely witchy. Silky, shiny healthy beautiful hair is a rarityand is, I believe genetic.

There's nothing wrong with women who cut their hair. Short hair is not a symbol of discontent or anger. Short hair is fun, carefree, and can be very sexy.

I can say that I never had any trouble finding dates when I had very short hair.

Being a lazy butt here but I could not agree more! :)

[Nae]

Okay, a big chop could possibly indicate a change in a woman's life. I suppose some women after a divorce might like a new fresh look. I chopped when I was pregnant so I wouldn't have to worry about longer hair when the baby came and I think that counts as a life change, but I am also completely capable of chopping on a whim. One time I went to the movies and saw a cute cut, I had it before the week was out. (Cursed pixie. I am still regretting THAT particular cut.) It had nothing to do with DH at all, he is fabulous.

I do have a bad tendency to cut at the beginning of the year, and the movie was released in late December.....bad combo.

At any rate, it sounds like the author somehow thinks that women only cut their hair to send a message to their man. Umm, what? The only message I have sent with my hair cuts is, "I don't want that baby pulling my hair," and, "Wow, that cut was cute!" Esh.

[kettle]

Well, part of the reason I grew my hair was because of a bloke! I'd already started growing it when things ended, but there was a definite feel at the time that I needed it back - it was the one part of me he didn't get, the one part that was just mine, that he hadn't ruined.

This plays somewhat into the "women only doing things in relation to a man" thing, I'm aware. And it was never wholly that, and it's long since ceased to be anything to do with that. I'm just saying that I think it's different for everyone. This article neglects that. Hair can be symbolic for a lot of people, me included, and I can relate to the emotional symbolism of a big chop. But this article isn't even about that emtotional-release side of it - it's just quite patronising!

[invisiblebabe]

I don't know about that article... :p

I chopped my hair from classic to hip after high school graduation. I'd planned on doing that for months because I was sick of it and wanted a change, but I still wanted to graduate with classic length hair.

When I was 21, I chopped from waist to upper BSL because I hated how the ends were looking. It grew back pretty fast. Then I chopped it to lower BSL, haha, still didn't like those ends (it is hard for me to get the thick hemline I want when I highlight my hair, but I choose highlights over extra length).

This past January I went from BSL to APL because I saw a friend's haircut, loved it, and wanted to try it. I trim it occasionally, and it is back to BSL again.

[Ithonna]

I cut my hair because I am ready for a change in my appearance. Not because I want a change in men.

[Slinks]

it's both poo and true .. poo for me because I've always been a grow and cut, get to BSL and want a change without leaving my DH, I love him and would never do that BUT cutting ones hair IS about change .. so if there is no love then yes he had better watch out .. :-)

On the other hand, this is the longest I've ever had my hair it's only "almost" waist length BUT so annoying, if I were to cut now it is because it is annoying not because of change .. NO worries there tho cos I aint cutting - I like it too much for a drastic change like that now, I'm 46 and pictureing myself with hip length gray hair, so hopefully I'm heading there, annoying hair or not ..

that was written with an emotional, unhappy woman in mind, not a balanced, happy woman ..

[Yozhik]

For crying out loud. This is a provocative, mysoginistic website. Look at this other little gem:



How could anyone take any of what's on that site seriously, even for a split second??
That quotation Lamb linked to is ridiculous!

As for the article linked to, I also don't believe that women cutting their hair necessarily has anything to do with men. More likely, women wan a change. :shrug:

Go figure. ;)

[BeckyAH]

I have cut my hair when a relationship ended. That was because I let it grow for the person to begin with, rather than myself.

...I eventually grew up and into myself, and gained some self-confidence. Part of doing that? Was cutting my hair off. It was, *for me, at that time* an outward expression of the realization that my self-wroth and desirability was not linked to anything physical, including hair.

At this point, and stage in my life, if I cut my hair it would be because I ...wanted shorter hair and decided to.

[lora410]

If this were true I would have cut off my hair 2yr ago when my nasty custody battle started. Thia may be true for some but to peg it to every woman is incorrect.

[CareBear]

I have known several people who cut their hair during/after trauma. I have also known people who cut their hair simply because they wanted to! But I do believe that if a person cuts their hair because of trauma, it is a way to grieve, a physical manifestation of what they're feeling. Doesn't necessarily have ANYTHING to do with men!!

[RitaPG]

Can't deny that there's A LOT of BS on that article, but some of it is pretty accurate too. Every longhaired woman I've met who had it cut short, had it done after a life changing event; break-up, death in the family, breakdown... Not everyone is like this, of course, but for a lot of people there's a link between appearance and emotional state. I'm one of those people, you can tell if I'm doing okay or not by the way I look, it took me a long time to realize I did this, but it's true. Every time I had a heartbreak, I'd dye my hair red, and when my grandfather died I stretched my earlobes (this goes way deeper than the look of it, though). When I'm at my best I use my favourite dangly green earrings, and do my best hairstyles.
It's not necessarily about being feminine, I believe that for some, a haircut not only represents a drastic change in life and a chance to start anew, but also a way to regain control over something when you've lost it in something else.
And for many it's simply a haircut and nothing more. It doesn't have to be about trauma, and definitely doesn't have to be about men :p Many people out there will cut their hair simply because they want to.
Making that article and generalize it to every woman is just silly...

[katienoonan]

I think the article is over generalising but has a valid point... as for it being a form of 'control'.. I have to agree with this... After a pretty traumatic few months I stopped eating for a while and during this time I self-pierced, self-harmed and used bleach on my hair 'for the hell of it' (something I had always vowed never to do again)...

To suggest that it is ONLY as a result of a stressful or bad relationship is however, ridiculous..

[Sweetie]

It's quite true, I guess - maybe not universally true, but true for many of us....

[Chetanlaiho]

Honestly this article kind of pisses me off xD I think a lot of people (although probably primarily women), make a drastic change in their appearance when they want to change in general (adapt to a new situation etc.). So in that sense it might be related to some women, but cutting off your hair = surefire signal for emotional distress, I'm not buying it xD

[jaine]

I think the article is missing one key point ... I cut my hair after the breakup. Not before.

[MandyBeth]

Ugh, this is total crap. My mom shaved her hair from chemo twice now and doesn't own a wig. My dad still proclaims she is more beautiful than when they married. Lets trash cancer survivors for losing thier hair, real mature.

[Clem_Dela]

It's all about a fresh start, really.

I trimmed a few inches after some boy-related confusion/stress this past spring, not too drastic. And after another incident this fall I've given Henna some serious consideration.

But I would NEVER pixie it. NEVER :)

[PurusNox]

Being not that old, I mostly see girls cutting their hair short just to make a change or because they couldn't be bothered to look after it, It always kind of angers me when I see a different girl cutting her hair short nearly every week Dx However, my big sister has recently cut her hair into a shoulder length bob after quite a big break up.

[MandyBeth]

Oh, and if we play OP and like the article - what does that make my DH who thinks my short hair was sexy and thinks long hair is fine, but it will just be normal. If I could be bothered with the upkeep, I'd rock that pixie again because it's hot.

[Sunshineliz]

Maybe that's true for some women, but when I cut my hair my relationship with my DH had absolutely nothing to do with it. He is, however, part of the reason for growing it back!;) BUT, I still wouldn't grow it back out if I didn't prefer it long myself.

In short, hogwash! Men aren't the only reason we do things to our hair.

ETA: And what about all the women who cut their hair short after becoming first-time moms and don't want the baby pulling their hair? I doubt most of them are telling their husbands they want out!

[Rosethorn]

I have to admit that I giggled a bit when the article said that a woman cutting her hair was comparable to an "emotional kick in the balls" for her husband/bf.... Yep. The whole thing was ludicrous. Seriously? We're all growing our hair for a man? What an odd existence that author must have...

[spidermom]

I'll have to go along with that article being a load of hooey. Most of the time I've cut my hair on impulse because I saw the style on somebody else and wanted it. Or for practical reasons, like when I had babies who liked to grab onto my hair and cling on like little monkeys. Or for reasons of damage. You try running one of those lice combs through a long perm! But I don't think I've ever cut it because I wanted to withhold my femininity from my man.

[shawty]

Um...
Apart from some coincidental occurances, that articale was complete and total, SEXIST bullsh*t. "How misguided feminism is harming our young men"? PLEASE. Sometimes people tell the truth when they say "I just wanted a haircut."

[Eire]

I think the person who wrote this needs counseling. Why would cutting your hair be some sort of mute anything? I cut my hair after my wedding, and I am happy in my marriage. I just wanted to start over to symbolize the beginning of my new life, and I also was much happier with the health and quality of my virgin hair (which ended around my shoulders) than the damaged, sun-bleached stuff that made up the length. And, shock of shocks, maybe some women just prefer to have short hair? Ever think of that? haha.... I know many women who think long hair isn't even pretty. Not everyone likes it.

And the author brought this up as well:


Like the women who deny their husbands sex out of anger or emotional upset,

I never understood that. Why do people call it "denying husbands sex" if the woman is angry or emotionally upset? Like, your husband did something to make you mad or stressed and you don't want to have sex, and that means you are "denying" him something? How about cause and effect? If your husband wants you to be in the mood, maybe he shouldn't upset you? And what kind of husband would be thinking about sex when their wife is upset anyway? How is that a turn on? If my husband was upset, I'd be... I don't know, trying to fix the relationship...? Do people not realize that sex and emotions are connected? If you are feeling angry with someone, the last thing you want to do is jump in bed with them....

[Toadstool]

Um, what about those of us who are not actually sexually attracted to men?

[clairenewcastle]

I've chopped my hair twice in the last two years.
Each time I done so purely for one reason - to get rid of damage caused by bleach.

[MandyBeth]

Same here, I got rid of 4 inches that was insanely damaged and breaking. Plus the bimonthly trims to get rid of the dang henna. If I wasn't cutting, I'd likely be at BSL. Granted, I'd have PoWm hair, but it'd be long.

[Demetrue]

The problem is that the basic premise of the article (perhaps unspoken) is that all people with 2 X chromosomes behave the same exact way for the same exact reason (and that all people with 2 X chromosomes are only defined by their relationship to people with 1 X and 1 Y chromosome)

[MinderMutsig]

Um, what about those of us who are not actually sexually attracted to men? Well then you are obviously a man-hating hag anyway so you obviously do EVERYTHING to spite men. Including cutting or growing your hair.

Obviously.

Was this sarcastic enough that I don't have to say I was kidding? :p

[Lianna]

Some women always have their hair short. What now?

[Maktub]

The problem is that the basic premise of the article (perhaps unspoken) is that all people with 2 X chromosomes behave the same exact way for the same exact reason (and that all people with 2 X chromosomes are only defined by their relationship to people with 1 X and 1 Y chromosome)

this exactly !

[celebriangel]

*eyeroll*

Equality fail, article. When I am unhappy in my relationship, I don't change my hair. I fix it or I leave. Nothing that I do is any kind of "message". If I have something I want to communicate, I damn well say it. I find that the impulse to be passive-agressive instead of direct is gender-neutral.

[MandyBeth]

Sigh, my poor, conflicted husband. My hair was being annoying today, so I just put it in a Dutch braid and left it at that. DH saw it and went "Your hair is pretty, but it's so girly today."

Poor guy. Can't stand girly hair.

[nazzooyzo]

When i cut my hair i did it cos i wanted to see what I'd look like with a pixie cut. Not cos i was sad.

[HintOfMint]

What a load of bull!

I would like to hazard a guess that a misogynistic husband would of course think EVERYTHING IS ABOUT HIM, and freak out. I'm guessing that the sex supposedly stops not because SHE isn't in the mood, but because HE is busy pouting that his wife isn't "feminine" anymore and isn't catering every ounce of her physical being to his happiness. Oh she doesn't have a haircut you like?

Most women don't fuss when their man gains a gut, goes gray, gets a wrinkle, or tries atrocious facial hair. But if a woman changes one thing about her personal appearance he gets to be the victim. Bull, bull, BULL!

I like to look nice for my boyfriend and it is perfectly healthy. But sometimes you want to experiment with a look and switch things up a bit. Sometimes a woman feels the need for a "professional haircut" because she's nervous about a promotion, and gets a bob (not a popular option on this site, but very common). Whatever reason it is, it is not always about the damn man!

PS, from one of the lines, it seems like it is a woman writing this. Misogynists come in all stripes I see.

[Megz]

I've always been the opposite with my hair/body, and try to use hurt to my advantage. I'll start exercising, taking better care of myself, and take extra care with my appearance. I wouldn't say it's to get revenge, but more to keep my head held high and to put the anger to good use and in a productive manner.

I'm getting ready to whack my long-time BSL hair to shoulder soon (gulp), but more for a new transition and a healthier hair journey. I've always been a bit of a tomboy and pretty much let myself go over the years, and really only focused on my skin. I never knew how to style my hair, other than up in a bun vs. down, and always have dressed/felt a bit frumpy. So, I'm working toward finding and improving myself, even if life isn't all that great at the moment otherwise.

In other words, anything I do to myself, I do for me and no one else. However, I do think it's pretty common with a lot of women to go drastic like that over their partner, more so for other issues. Then again, maybe it's a transitional period for them too and in their own way, rather than trying to make a point.

[VikingVampChick]

From the article: "When they cut it all off...It's a clear gesture of defiance, or dissatisfaction, or despair, a spiteful kind of emotional kick in the balls."

...:crazyq:

I'm not a kid. If I cut my hair I'm not doing it to be defiant or spiteful, I'm doing it because I feel like it. Who are these dudes thinking our hair is about them? What a load of hooey.

This. In all honestly, I'm surprised the author is a woman.

I know everyone reacts differently to stress and the author did say 'most women' at one point, but she still generalizes way too much.

[VikingVampChick]

I wanted to read it but I had to stop because it was pissing me off too much. What a load of vile, misogynistic poppycock.

This, too.

[VikingVampChick]

Sing it, sister. Now, mind you, if I was married to a man who believed this nonsense, I MIGHT buzzcut my hair out of spite, right before I kicked his ass to the curb. Which would then of course be taken as confirmation of this ridiculous theory. :rolleyes:


This sounds like what I would be tempted to do.

Off topic: Your screen name - from the old Battlestar Galactica?

[AlabasterAlice]

Lol. If I want to get it across to my husband that I'm irked at him, I just let him know. Maybe not in the most graceful way, and sure, maybe I start more fights then I should when we're in a bad spot, but do I go out and chop off my hair? NO. Who would that hurt, for crying out loud? That'd only hurt me.

While I've never had cancer or had anything that caused hair loss, I would think that women get wigs to feel normal. To have a little bit of control over a scary situation where they don't have any control at all. A women may also get a tattoo, or find any other way to take control. But as for hair, the biggest factor (I'd assume) is that they don't want people to stare. They want to feel relatively normal. So that's where wigs come in.

And since when has long hair been considered sexual? Excuse me, but I'm not growing out my hair to be considered some sexual being. Also, there's a line in there about having "long shiny locks". Well guess what? Not all women have shiny hair. Not all women can even grow their hair out that long.

"We spend thousands of dollars a year on shampoos, conditioners, hair dyes, highlights, trims, perms and hair accessories"
Ok, maybe you do, but I sure don't. I'm sure some of us could easily blow a grand on hair toys, but that doesn't mean we all do. I kind of find this line offensive.

And the general gist is saying we do it to get attention. No thank you. I want my long hair for me, because it feels right. I'd much rather have the men I love and admire be attracted to me for what's inside my head, not on top of it. :eyeroll:

[MajorasMask]

That's so true. It's definitely a reflection of my emotions... When something goes wrong, when someone leaves me, I grab the sisscors and razor. A Silent struggle. I cut off my BSL hair to shoulder, and then again to chin.
Now I'm trying to practice self control, because, there's so much sh*t that happened recently, that I almost want to shave it all off. I feel really ugly right now. But I'm telling myself to suck it up and not give a d*mn, to stay away from the sisscors.
Because "Great hair is the best revenge".
I forgot whose sig said that, but that's really helped me so much. I'm really motivated for the primary purpose of revenge on the person who hurt me... Silly isn't it.
I've tried to explain this to a few friends, but.. It just sounds very odd.

[racrane]

Well, I think the author of the article really didn't word stuff right. Not all women are the same. Never make assumptions.

That being said, there is some truth to it. Many women do cut their hair when changes in their lives happen. People do use their body for good or bad when they're stressed. People starve themselves or binge, cut themselves or change their appearance (hair or not). So, I do think our outward appearance is important in that sense. I know I've hurt my body when I've been stressed. I care not to go into details in this thread but I understand it.

And yes, I've cut my hair short after a break up. Silly me, I'm now growing my hair back out. But not all women do that. Don't ever assume anything!

[Arashi]

That article was so unbearably ridiculous that I can't believe it was meant to be taken seriously.. :disgust:
Skimming the other articles on that site, the content seems to be all over the place(despite an apparent main theme being marriage) and self-contradictory. Very odd indeed.

[MinderMutsig]

Well, I think the author of the article really didn't word stuff right. Not all women are the same. Never make assumptions.

That being said, there is some truth to it.
-snip-

I'm sorry but no, there really isn't and reading through this thread only confirms that. This isn't a matter of wording it right or not, her base assumption is idiotic, sexist and misogynistic.

The author is saying that women cut their hair as a final warning and punishment for their partner when things aren't going smooth in a relationship. They do it do deny him and to her it's apparently the female adult version of a temper tantrum.

"Fix things or else I'm going to lie down in the supermarket isle and scream my head off to get my way. Oh no wait I can't do that now that I'm a grownup and oh my, what would the neighbors think?! Oh I know! I'll cut my hair if you don't do your manly thing and take control over my life!"

Every single poster here who said they recognized themselves in that piece has said they cut their hair AFTER the relationship was over. There is a major difference there! It's not a final warning or temper tantrum or a way to deny your man his right to a woman with feminine long hair (seriously?!!) but a response to a major chance in their lives by a breakup and the haircut is an outward expression of the chances going on inside and of the fresh start.

I can't say it anymore clear than this. Any woman who recognizes herself in that first description is probably in serious need of a psychologist and maybe a women's shelter.

[MajorasMask]

^Yes, I agree with this. It is always afterwards. Or right as it's happening. It's not a form of threat like the author is suggesting...how strange 0_o

[racrane]

Well, I was talking about the hair cut before I actually did it. My boyfriend knew I was very unhappy. He later said he knew I was going to break up with him when I started talking about it. I broke up with him two hours after my cut. I do think the author is sexist, but there is a degree of truth there. He just worded very poorly and now women everywhere are angry... but I still stand by my opinion. And that's just my opinion. :D

[MandyBeth]

The problem is it puts ALL women AND men in the same boat. We aren't. I've had short hair because I like my hair short, I'm growing it out now to see if I like it and I may decide I hate it and I'll cut it again. My DH has had long locs, and thinks a pixie cut on me is incredible.

From this thread, it seems very few women in fact cut their hair to get back at a man in their life. If we cut our hair, it's because we are grown adults who want to change something and hair was what was changed.

[NotInPortland]

Maybe some women do cut their hair in response to a man, but the main problem I have with the article apart from tarring all women with the same brush (which is ridiculous in itself) is that the author links the whole thing to men. Maybe some women do cut their hair off for due to certain emotions however that doesn't mean that those emotions have anything to do with a man in the first place. Maybe a family member died, maybe they graduated college and want a fresh new look etc etc. The whole article is just utterly ridiculous.

[kamikaze hair]

i think the only somewhat true message of this article is that when someone is upset/stressed/going through something, this can cause havoc on their emotions, stress levels, and sometimes, (SOMETIMES) it can lead to something like a haircut. Doesn't mean stressful situations can't lead to other things, not just haircuts. AND ANOTHER THING... this article completely discards the fact that a man can be the thing that is causing a person stress, but only looks at it from a crappy mysoginistic one dimensional viewpoint (so how does about 75%to 90% of us LHCers feel about being demoted only to "sex object for the other gender" status?!...im pretty sure who ever i am, is comprised much more than just a "SEX OBJECT FOR THE OTHER GENDER"). What if i had a female boss who was treating me like :poop: and then i decided to cut my hair? or maybe instead decided to get a NEW JOB, HAIR INTACT... Oh no. i guess that reaction would not be very 50's enough.

everybody handles their own challenges in their own ways, this article is a BIG PILE OF :poop::poop:

[Crysta]

We cut our hair spontaneously because we crave change - we crave change for many different reasons and mostly when we are going through a 'bad time' we always crave change at these points. People read far too much into these things. This is my professional opinion as a psychologist.

Also If you know anything about human behavior you can recognize that the article is worthless.