Scraggly vs Silky straight

[arseen33]

Before I knew any better, I assumed that everyone who grew their hair out really long had that beautiful, silky, straight, thick and freshly trimmed- looking hair reminiscent of traditional oriental women, Bollywood brides and china dolls.
Now that my own hair is long, I've found it a bit...scraggly. I'ts grown in awkward waves that don't flatter my face, or anything else. Even flat ironed and oiled, I can't quite get that lovely gloss and shape.

To be very honest, (please plug any sensitive ears)
I feel like it looks trailer trashy, which is a very real lifestyle where I live. I do think that the medieval, naturalistic appeal is lovely, but I'm afraid that it doesn't translate that way when worn by me.

I don't want something that's meant to be pretty to be discounted because I can't make it work with the rest of me. Has anyone else run into this problem?

[PinkyCat]

So, do you mean your hair is wavy or curly and you don't know what/how to deal with it? Do you mean "scraggly" as in damaged?

[BeckyAH]

To be perfectly honest with you, and this is not what you want to hear, when you have hair with wave or curl and try to force it straight with heat, you are damaging it. When it is damaged, it is not going to look like, well, healthy hair. Long hair is old hair. It can not take the abuse of straight ironing regularly without suffering for it to some degree. That suffering means frizz and breakage. Frizz and breakage mean, to use your words, scraggly - especially if forced straight so you can see every flaw and split end.

(And I am saying this as someone who bleaches, dyes, and heat styles - though I only do that to a LITTLE bit of my hair and 99% of that is stuff that has a life of about 6 months on my head before it's trimmed off (ie: bangs).

[dRummie]

Can you provide more details?
Length isn't the only factor to how your hair looks, there is health, products, type of cut...

[arseen33]

So, do you mean your hair is wavy or curly and you don't know what/how to deal with it? Do you mean "scraggly" as in damaged?
It's wavy. It made natural medium-tight curls when it was short and barrel sized curls near ap length. I probably have about an inch or so of split ends at the very worst because it's needed a trim for some time, but for the most part I take care of it.

[BeckyAH]

It's wavy.

I think the point I was trying to make here, and failed to, was that wavy hair, even straightened, is never going to look like a china doll's, or 'traditionally oriental' Bollywood hair. It's just... not.

If it's healthy/not splitting/etc. I'm not sure what's making it scraggly, except it not being the straight you want. :confused: That's not meant to be snide, just... legitimate curiosity. What about it is it that's bothering you?

[arseen33]

To be perfectly honest with you, and this is not what you want to hear, when you have hair with wave or curl and try to force it straight with heat, you are damaging it. When it is damaged, it is not going to look like, well, healthy hair. Long hair is old hair. It can not take the abuse of straight ironing regularly without suffering for it to some degree. That suffering means frizz and breakage. Frizz and breakage mean, to use your words, scraggly - especially if forced straight so you can see every flaw and split end.

(And I am saying this as someone who bleaches, dyes, and heat styles - though I only do that to a LITTLE bit of my hair and 99% of that is stuff that has a life of about 6 months on my head before it's trimmed off (ie: bangs).
I don't straighten daily. I've tryed this maybe three times and stopped because I didn't like the results. I don't even blow dry it. The one thing I do regularly that is known to damage is brushing when wet, but if I wait until it's dry it'll mat up and I'll never get a brush trough it! I use a cushioned paddle brush with ball-pointed bristles and I'm very careful.

[MsBubbles]

I understand what you mean about the ideal of the silky hair not translating to real life!

My solution (compromise) - since I have naturally fine and not very thick hair with fried highlighty ends - is to wear it up (lightly oiled on the ends) a lot of the time for protection, and when I want to wear it down, use as much silicone-laden conditioner my hair needs!

The reality for my hair is that I can't get that silky long hair look all the time, but I can get it for special occasions, maybe once every 2 weeks.

Regular dusting/self-trims keep the ends from getting too tatty, while still gaining some length over time. Slow, but effective. How long is your hair?

ETA: Ok I see now! But if you have curls, good grief, display them in all their glory! Long curly hair is very romantic-looking, and in my opinion looks healthier anyway because there's volume.

[BeckyAH]

Ah, I think I'm following you now. I also kind of have your hair, only shorter so I can still get curl. Honestly, just about the only thing I've found to keep me from making like a poof ball at longer lengths is things like damp braiding or bunning to force another wave pattern over it (or into it).

And yes, 'cones are my friend.

[arseen33]

@BeckyAH
I baby my hair like crazy, so it doesn't frizz like it used to but I remember when I had a pouf ball like that. I had no clue what to do with it lol but luckily after I learned some ways to take care of it better I had less and less frizz with no heat. :3

@MsBubbles
It's at mid-back right now.

[MychelleC]

I know what you mean! When you have that in-between hair (not curly, not straight, unevenly wavy) it can be basically impossible to get the smooth long hair of your dreams. Girls like us have a few options. You can embrace the wave and try to play up the curly aspect. Cut some strategic layers that will translate the waves into curls and look to Jessicurl or Ouidad for styling tips. If straight hair looks better and works better for your lifestyle but daily ironing isn't an option there are some permanent treatments, such as Thermal Reconditioning (not the Brazilian or Keratin deal as those are super damaging and not permanent). I know that many people here are very much into natural hair care and I love that, but it is possible to make some more permanent changes and still have healthy hair if you take good care of it. I have had the thermal straightening treatment done once a year for nine years now and I don't think I will ever go back. We just touch up the roots yearly, and since I don't color and very rarely heat style my hair is much healthier than most of my friends. I live in a humid area and my porous hair will never, ever, ever be smooth on it's own no matter how much I style. With my process I can still wear curls but my hair is basically wash and go, and is always silky and amazing. I'm not pushing a permanent treatment at all, just saying I know where you are with your hair and there are a lot of options for you. HTH!

[arseen33]

@MychelleC
I don't mind ironing, but if I had a treatment done I would defenately do curls. I've always loved them and I know how to baby them so they don't frizz. The only reason why I don't have a perm in my hair right now is that I'm still under my mother's roof and she disapproves. :)

[spidermom]

I only think my hair looks straggly when it needs a trim. So I get a trim, and it's good to go again.

[arseen33]

@ spindermom
I'm hoping this will be my case too. I'm super determined to get this hairstyle! >:D

Also, I love your picture. That snake is beautiful. Is it yours?

[spidermom]

@ spindermom
I'm hoping this will be my case too. I'm super determined to get this hairstyle! >:D

Also, I love your picture. That snake is beautiful. Is it yours?

He's a Burmese python. He lives here and I take care of him, so I think of him as mine, but he was originally brought here by my adult son (who lives here, too). If son ever gets ahead of his debts and saves enough to move out, he might take the snake with him.

[PinkyCat]

Gasp! That reminds me of a nightmare I had last week! A big snake like yours swallowed my calico kitty whole! It was AWFUL! I think I was crying in my sleep. But I was able to rescue her & revive her.

Snake didn't make it though. ;)

[LouLaLa]

I think its a case of regular trimming and maybe exploring the conventional hair products section of this site.

Im pretty much certain that except for about 0.0001% of the population nobody has utterly lucious hair naturally. Nobody has Pantene advert hair. It takes alot of upkeep and care to get super luxiuriant hair.

However saying that why not try an SMT? If you search for it on the site its a great moisture treament for hair. Other than that its just a case of patience. I grew out all my awful dye damage and now I have silky hair because I dont use any heated appliances etc, just very occasional oiling.

Good luck :) Im sure the more you explore LHC the more tips and tricks youll discover. If i were you id look to the thread for folks with similar hair types and ply them for information- the experts know best :)

[BrightEyes7]

I probably have about an inch or so of split ends at the very worst because it's needed a trim for some time, but for the most part I take care of it.

This is your issue. You would be surprised how much difference a 1 inch trim can make. Also brushing wet is messing your hair up, even if you don't notice. I too can't wait until my hair is dry or I'd have dreadlocks. But you need to be sure to detangle correctly while wet. Try to let it dry a bit, so it isn't soaking wet. Also use a wide tooth comb, and take your time. Then once all the tangles are out, you can use your brush if you still feel the need to.

Your hair may also be scraggly looking if you are trying to fight you texture. If your hair is really that curly, your brush is breaking up the curl. Usually frizz is a result of hidden curls. Take a look around and find someone with a similar texture as you and find out what they do. Try some of their tricks and see if they work for you.

[Ashenputtel]

I'm not wavy, but I remember a member here who said you need to plan to wear your hair down and I absolutely agree. When I oil my hair I need to brush it all the time for it to look good down.

I've been practising benign neglect for a month and my hair looks much better down.

I would also get does ends trimmed. I've cut almost 2 inches of my ends and I don't regret it. It will grow back and you better do it sooner because split ends do go uo and your hair doesn't only break from the tips.

[InTheCity]

Unfortunately, I know exactly what you mean. My ii is roughly 2.5" circumference.

If you look at my signature pics below, once my hair got as long as Victoria's Secret models (that was my inspiration), it looked nothing like theirs! I knew I needed more than just a trim to get it looking thick and my ex-hair stylist decided I wanted 8-10 inches off!

The best part about a 1" trim is that you can trim another inch later. And another, and so on.

[chou]

Your hair sounds beautiful! Waves are wonderful. I agree that maybe a trim in the ends would make your hair look a bit healthier, though. And for some people silicones, when not allowed to build up, can really help with manageability and shininess.

[jaine]

This thread needs pictures!

[lacefrost]

This thread needs pictures!

Word. If we can see what you're working with, we can help a lot more.

[Audhumla]

Well I'm no expert but what you're describing sounds a lot like other peoples' description of protein overload. A good sign of excess protein is that your hair doesn't have very much elasticity so if you watch your hair while you comb it, if you have too much protein you hair might snap as soon as you come accross a knot with your comb rather than giving you 'warning' and stretching a little if you accidentally try and brush through a knot. So based on that I would suggest checking out the elasticity of your hair and maybe trying a hair care system that doesn't include proteins. (there's a thread around about what ingredients to look for that are proteins but basically it'll either say "____protein" or "hydrolysed_______ protein" or "_____amino acids" or anything listing silk, pearls, keratin, collagen or milk)
It might also be build up of another kind, eg from silicones so maybe try a clarifying treatment to rid yourself of any buildup and then do an SMT (as protein build up tends to dry out hair) with a protein-free and if possible cone-free conditioner and see how you go.

[alwayssmiling]

After you try a trim and all the other advice you have been given, why not play with enhancing your curls! I use steam curlers that give me big bouncy curls that look smooth and shiney. They don't damage the hair at all. I think at 26" your hair would look great using these. Also there is CO washing which really brought my curls under control and frizz down to zero. Think about sulphate free shampoo too.

[katsrevenge]

I think I may have hair kinda like yours. I can't brush it to save my life. I can comb it though. I'd say get rid of the paddle brush with the plastic nubs. Try a hair pick or a wide toothed comb like this (http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=wide+toothed+comb&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=7Xy&rls=Swiftfox:en-US:unofficial&prmd=ivns&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.&biw=1280&bih=806&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=11422339090483814204&sa=X&ei=NlNbTqOzE4Ll0QHmh4WUCQ&ved=0CI0BEPMCMAM).
And trim off the splits.
There are also oils you can use to help.

And pics! Pics are great and helpful!

[kiwiipop]

I know what you mean. I don't think hair that's not silky and straight is scraggly, but it took me a bit to get used to the idea that I wouldn't have that gorgeous "sheet of glass" looking hair I saw so much around here! Just learned to work with what I have. As others suggested, I'd try SMT and get that one inch trim you need. I guarantee you won't look at your hair the same!

[tigereye]

Well to be honest, even us straighties don't often have the real picture perfect straight glossy hair. Because a lot of the time we (or at least I) sleep in braids and have our hair up, which translates into waves in our hair. The only time I ever have my natural level of straightness is when I brush it after completely air drying. The rest of the time it's wavy, and sometimes weird and straggly if there's oil left in it that I haven't washed out properly.
Don't worry we all end up with nasty hair at some point, but we just have to ride it through. Something to remember is that the longer your hair gets, the more wave will be pulled out by the weight, and the straighter your hair will get, especially at the top.

[Hairitic]

I too, have naturally wavy hair that poufs. :( I found out a long time ago that I can NEVER brush my hair with any brush when wet. I only use a wide-toothed comb (now I use a horn comb ;)) to detangle immediately out of the shower. Then I leave it alone untill completely dry. That is one way to reduce frizz/pouffiness. Damp braiding or damp bunning are my other go to remedies. I've also just discovered L'Oreal EverSleek shampoo and conditioner products just made for us. I'm also going to try similar products by Giovanni next purchase. Regular trims help keep the ends looking neat and healthy and less scraggly.

[kiezel]

I once heard someone say that no one ever likes their own hair. And I find this to be true to a degree.

I have a friend who is full-blood oriental, and she has large waves and would be about a 2b? in some areas. Instead of trying to straighten it to look like everyone else, she rather prides herself in the fact that she has unique hair. And now that she has taken on enhancing the curls, people have even begun to ask her what she does to make her hair curl like that.


Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's....oh Maybelline, I hate you.

My point is, there is always someone who wants your hair, and it might be much more beautiful than you know it is.

[arseen33]

Protein is actually something I don't get enough of because I don't eat a lot of meat. My mom is constantly trying to force fish on me, lol.
I've tried CO washing a couple of times but no matter what kind/brand I used, it left my hair looking silicone-y. Right now I'm using baby shampoo only and then applying oil while it's still very wet, and again after it's completely dry which is working better than anything I've done so far. It even gives my roots a little bit of volume. :3
I've tried hair combs and wide-toothed combs but they seem to leave my hair very tangled. Even if I spend forever brushing it over several times until its soft and smooth, it seems as soon as I put down the comb a rats nest or super atomic knot magically appears.
I cut my hair yesterday. It looks nicer, but I think I want another inch-2inches off. I feel like it will look healthier and thicker this way.

[arseen33]

@kiezel
Thanks. :)

[elbow chic]

Personally, I just embrace the trailer-trashiness. :laugh:

[hototogisu]

Arseen - protein for hair isn't about what you eat, it's meant to repair breaks and 'holes' in the cuticle. If you overdo it your hair gets very brittle.

I have very fine, not-straight-but-not-wavy hair. It sounds to me like you need a wash with a good chelating, clarifying shampoo, a good moisture treatment (like an SMT - I just tried my first and I'm totally converted) and a good, strong trim. Get rid of those split ends. Buy a pair of hair cutting scissors (NOT regular scissors) and do it yourself.

If I want to wear my hair loose, I use bunwaves. I let my hair dry to about 90% dry, then twist it up into a bun and secure it with a large, open hairpin. The hairpin doesn't dent my hair. In an hour or so I let it down and I have really lovely waves.

And learn to use a comb! A wide toothed comb works wonders. Trade in the ball tipped brush for a boar bristle bush or a Tangle Teezer.

The key to co washing, also, is to use a TON of it and to really, really, really scrub your scalp with the pads of your fingers. I aim for around 3 minutes of scrubbing all over my scalp.

[BlazingHeart]

Using a straight-pin brush instead of a ball-tipped brush makes a world of difference. I love my wooden pin brush, which has just straight pins with NO balls on the tips. It changes how it goes through your hair.

Also, with waves as intense as yours, brushing through it is going to make your hair look choppy. You really need to finger comb it or use a pick or wide-toothed comb to get the best out of wavy hair. You want it to STAY piecy and clumped, because each clump waves a little differently and THAT is what makes for the impressive looking wavy hair. I'm wondering if you are mistaking clumping - which is naturally what curly and wavy hair DOES - with matting. You might try plopping to define your waves/wurls, which will give you a distinct texture instead of just being 'not straight'.

Hair that is wurly or strongly wavy will not look its best treated like straight hair.

~Blaze

[agoddess2die4]

I always thought my hair was kind of scraggly, but I've learned how to take care of my waves. I've actually lost a lot of shine with no longer dying it (though I hear if I want to henna or indigo it could bring a lot of shine back, but I'm done with that). But a lot of scraggly-ness was due to over layering my hair, I was always told by stylists how important layers are for my hair to give it shape and body, but now that I'm cutting it myself and growing out the layers my hemline is much thicker and it looks sooo much better.

[embee]

I am not sure what you mean by scraggly. My hair is straight as a stick but it is what I call "stringy". It clumps together in strings - my dear mother called them "rat tails", lovely image that. Not.

When I wore my hair down I was forever combing or brushing it to undo the clumps. That's just what my hair *did*. The problem is no longer with me as my hair is always in an updo.

Now when curls clump together they can sometimes form ringlets and that's a look one either loves or hates.

I wish I had some of your waves. It would have been nice to have a bit of body to my thin flat hair when I was young and wore my hair loose. ;)

[AnnaJamila]

I vote for a trim!!

Darlin, I always wanted thickthickthick wavy black hair, but the only part I got was the black! (sort of ;)) You have to love what you have; wishing you had straight hair when you don't is too frustrating! :)

[arseen33]

I do love my waves. D:
Sorry that wasn't clear. I just think the thick glossy straight 'look' would be a nice style to make my hair more interesting.
I know there's people who would like to have my hair because extensions and weaves exist. :)
I suppose I feel a responsibility to make it better than it already is, instead of just letting it hang out on my head.
Anyways, I have pictures per request! It is trimmed in the picture but it's also a little darker and straighter than usual. I had it all up on my head for a 'shoot' and it just all came down this way because karma likes to mess with me like that. X3
http://tinypic.com/r/2d83nu9/7

[arseen33]

D: picture not working!

http://i52.tinypic.com/2d83nu9.jpg

[alwayssmiling]

Goodness arseen33 your hair is so pretty. I think you should just enjoy it now you have had a little trim, perhaps not worry so much. (Yeah says me!)

[Bluegrass Babe]

What are you talking about?! Your hair is absolutely gorgeous!! :crush:

BTW - baby shampoo is too alkaline in pH unless you use an acidic rinse of some sort.

A slightly acidic rinse will increase the smoothness and shine. But be careful if you use apple cider vinegar in your rinse as it can make your hair very fluffy if there is too much in your solution.

[jaine]

OK I see the picture ... but where's the scragglyness????

:confused:

[tinywife]

You have perfect hair! Not a scraggle in sight!

[dulce]

You have my dream hair!!!It's gorgeous!

[pes3108]

what are you talking about??? there are no scraggles!!!!!!! crazyness!!! lol

[luthein]

I was not expecting that image. Beautiful hair.

[Xandergrammy]

Is there such a thing as "hair dysmorphic disorder"? You must have it, because your hair is not scraggly at all and it's quite lovely. I don't know how old you are, but this old lady (me) is going to give you some advice. Love the hair you have and continue to take good care of it. I hated my hair for 40+ years because it didn't grow out of my head the way I wanted it too. Silly. :gabigrin:

[julliams]

First off you may need to learn to love your own true texture. This took me a while to adjust to and to be honest, I'm still battling with it. If you try to make your hair something it's not, it's alot of work and your hair will be damaged by the heat styling.

I used to flat iron 3 times a week and loved how my hair looked but after a while I noticed that it was really really dry in it's natural state and even when I straightened it, it was looking really dry.

The first bit of advice I would give you is to do 2 moisture treatments per week for a period of several months. This made a HUGE difference to my hair. I did SMT's or coconut milk soaks - pm me if you need details.

Secondly, try to learn how your hair wants to be. Perhaps you need to experiment with scrunching gel into the ends and seeing just how much wave is there. The key is to towel dry a little (ie put your hair up in a towel for about 10 minutes) then take it down ( I like to comb through it at this stage but you don't have to) and then take some gel, rub it between your palms and scrunch it into the ends. Then just leave it and do not be tempted to put your hands back up into your hair until it is totally dry. If you can learn to leave it alone it won't go frizzy. As soon as you start touching it, be aware that the frizziness will start to come in.

Try this for about a month or two and see if those waves don't be the waves they have always wanted to be.

ETA: Just saw your picture. Hooley Dooley you have some rockin' hair there. I think you have the hair you want to have right there. It looks gorgeous to me and I think you look great.