Hair touching dilemma

[WaitingSoLong]

Ok, so I have actually been tempted to cut my hair back to waist for some stupid reasons (that I would never actually cut back for).

People touch my hair.

I hate it.

I politely vocalize it but they still do it.

The longer it gets, the more frequently this happens. It ALWAYS happens when my back is to the person doing the touching (someone standing behind me).

I could keep my hair up all the time, but I am one of those that feel...what is the point of having long hair kept up all the time? I have it long because I like the way it looks LONG. Lookie. No touchie. I have even considered making 7 shirts that say "DON'T TOUCH THE HAIR" which is what I actually say (in a nice, almost joking but still serious, way). Ironically, my hair would cover up the saying.

Also, I am getting lots more comments than I used to. Most are compliments, but I am still getting more attention than I desire. Again, I could keep it up all the time but...

Yes, I can take a compliment, but I have realized that my hair draws unwanted attention towards myself and I feel some weird inner dilemma, that maybe I should cut it back to the length before I started having these issues. I am a very private person and usually quiet IRL. If I do talk, it is not usually about myself. My hair has invited people inside my personal bubble and I dislike it.

But I like my hair.

Stupid dilemma, I know. JUST IGNORE THE UNWANTED attention which is what I have actually started to do but this comes of as utterly rude. Plus, when people touch my hair I involuntarily turn around (defensively) to a. remove my hair from their grasp and b. see who the offender is. Kind of hard to pretend I didn't notice then.

SIGH.

I am not really losing sleep over this but episodes like today, when I attended our annual family reunion, and people were like "oh, look at her hair" and "your hair is so long" and I am bombarded by so many comments all at once and I just want to take my hair and hide.

I cannot figure out why I dislike the attention, but I do. I have tried to embrace it, but it goes against my "me".

I have encountered the same issue with my 5 finger shoes. I love my shoes. But I wear them less and less because I get SO MANY comments and questions and I realize they are a conversation piece. They DO, however, divert attention from my hair, but most of the time I get the shoe question and then the "while I am at it I may as well say something about her hair" question and when you are lying on a cot donating blood, you cannot exactly turn and walk away and I got the "how do you wash your hair, you must use a whole bottle of shampoo each time" thing combined with the "are those shoes comfortable?" (oh no, dear, I am terribly fond of wearing horribly uncomfortable shoes <---something I would never say but think instantly).

Ok, so I should probably just get over it and accept it because the longer my hair gets the worse it will get I guess. As for my shoes? Well, I paid too darn much for them to be a closet ornament so I still wear them quite a lot.

Perhaps I will be lucky enough to find a fellow long-hair or two in the same position? Or perhaps I shoud JUST CUT MY HAIR. lol

[prettykitty]

Do people at least ask, or just grab? That would be bothersome.
I don't think I can be of much use because I sort of love it when people notice my hair, or something else I have put a lot of work and love into.
The closest thing I can liken it to is that creepy feeling when one is pregnant and all of a sudden strangers think it is okay to randomly touch your tummy...distressingly intimate.

[AnnaJamila]

Lol, they might keep touching your hair because you put it so mildly! In the future just say, "I don't mean to be rude but please don't touch my hair, it makes me very uncomfortable." A kind smile afterword should keep them from being offended. :)

Or you could reach out and stick your hands in their hair to prove a point as to how rude it is. :twisted:

As for the attention, I can't give you any advice about that. :shrug:

[WaitingSoLong]

LOL well very rarely does the same person touch it twice, so my comments are getting through I suppose. I guess more and more people are touching and no, they don't ask. EVER. Not once has someone asked.

[Das Siechtum]

if anyone would do that to me, I would turn around and say in a calm voice "Don't touch my hair!" with a very very very serious face and a "I'll kill you if you do that again" stare from my blue eyes.

I really do this and it works everytime! :-) (This method is also very helpfull with people you work with on a daily or weekly basis and firends/family members.


My opinion is: Its all about personal space here. If someone crosses the line of this space without asking for permission, there is no need for politness. Period.

[HairStickler]

I would just wear it up. That way you can still enjoy it but avoid the unwanted attention and unwanted touching.

[Slinks]

I'm really sorry .. you have such beautiful - I would love to touch it too .. BUT it is not in me to touch a person I don't know, anywhere .. I know how you feel tho, my hair is not even anywhere as nice or as long as yours and people I know touch my hair, it's really hard because the strands stick to their hands like magnets and pull away when the take their hand away .. again I'm sorry BUT please, oh please don't cut the gorgeous hair ..

[Slinks]

The closest thing I can liken it to is that creepy feeling when one is pregnant and all of a sudden strangers think it is okay to randomly touch your tummy...distressingly intimate.

I was thinking this same thing BUT I didn't mention it because I AM GUILTY of doing this ... uck !!! and I didn't mind when people did it to me BUT again these were only people I know ..

your area - where you live must not believe in personal space .. it is quite unheard of for total strangers to do that around where I have lived and that is pretty much all over Australia ..

[Slinks]

Or you could reach out and stick your hands in their hair to prove a point as to how rude it is. :twisted:
:shrug:

:lol: yeah !!!! :cheese: or if they are behind you :poot: let off a smelly one ... :lol: that would be awesome !!! :D honestly I'm not that gross but ??? why not :-)

[thestookem]

I can't say I've had too many people touching my hair. Most of the time it's a friend or relative that wants to "boing" one of my curls, and I let them if they ask. They do it like two or three times and they usually get it out of their system.

But one day last semester this girl I sat in front of was "boinged" this one super long ringlet without me knowing. When I finally noticed I turned around grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged a little bit. She said rather loudly "what are you doing!!", to which I responded with "doesn't feel good does it?".

some people might not understand the concept of personal space. A gentle reminder will help and won't hurt their feelings.It's not rude to demand some respect for your personal space.

[CurlyMopTop]

But one day last semester this girl I sat in front of was "boinged" this one super long ringlet without me knowing. When I finally noticed I turned around grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged a little bit. She said rather loudly "what are you doing!!", to which I responded with "doesn't feel good does it?".


I love this response! I cringe and pull away everytime someone reaches for my hair if I see it. For some reason, people always want to run there fingers through curly hair not realizing that they are actually pulling hair out, or breaking strands. It definately does not feel good!Then they give me a look like, "What's her problem?". :(

[WaitingSoLong]

I cannot say that strangers touch my hair. They are all people I know in one way or another. They are usually, if not always, older ladies. Usually old enough to be my parent.

As I said, I have told them not to do it but I do say it in a ligthearted voice because, afterall, they have not cut my hair or anything and they are admiring it. Perhaps I do need to be a bit more firm. They always touch the hair at the bottom, away from my head. I don't think they would touch the hair around my face. Somehow, it being away from my face makes it less personal to them and more "ok". I am just sure they do not realize it is creepy for me. I don't wish to make them feel bad, I just wish for them to stop. I am wondering if having long hair somehow invites people to set aside their regular 'hands off' standards. I guess I need to politely say something more like 'I know my hair is tempting to touch but please never do so without permission, it is uncomfortable and a bit creepy since I was not expecting it'.

As for the comments, well, I like compliments, I really do. But they are excessive and not always compliments but questions I am sure many of you have heard and I end up feeling like I need to educate people on long-hair care. Like these: How do you wash your hair? How much shampoo do you use? Why is it so long? Are you going to donate your hair? How long have you been growing your hair? (I really hate that one) Or the non-questions: You have long hair. Your hair is SO long, I bet you haven't cut it your whole life. I have never seen someone with hair that long.

Perhaps it irks me because people do not stop and think before asking. How long have I been growing my hair??? Ok, so what, I shaved my head, set a timer and said "go" and have been tallying up the days ever since? I have pat answers for all these questions (unless they were asked rudely, in which case I do simply ignore them). BUT I AM SICK OF IT. I also ignore statements. They don't require an answer. If they are strangers I give them the "ok, who the heck are you" look.

Maybe I DO need to change my pat answers, say some really silly things. I have only done that once or twice (there are several threads here on this topic). Like this one: Was your hair that long the last time I saw you? (2 months ago)... Oh, no. I grew it all since then. ROLL EYES. Of course the donate question got a prompt NO I AM NOT accompanied by the "how dare you" glare. I have only been aked that once.

I will put some more thought into this. I have been wanting to cut my hair back a bit for other reasons and this was really pushing me to do so. However I went back to look at my hair pics from waist and really think it looks better at TBL. My hair rule: when in doubt, don't.

[CurlyMopTop]

WaitingSoLong, I just wanted to say, your hair is beautiful. When it comes to length, it's always a personal preference.

When it's your elders doing the touching it makes it more difficult to reprimand. My hair's never been long enough to make people want to touch it, just curly. I wish I could offer some more meaningful advice, but since these are people that you know, I can't. :(

Now if they're people that you don't know, the kind that you run into at a store, you could just tell them you're shopping for lice treatments. I gaurentee whoever it is doing the touching will stop immediately, and probably think twice about touching someone elses hair. :D Just kidding. I don't think that I'd even have the balls to say that to a stranger in a store. It's a nice thought though. ;)

[Avital88]

hmm i would take this as a compliment, but i know it can be tough. i have this with my daughter,its a weird comparison but everywhere i go people look and stare and want to touch her.
i wouldnt cut it off for this reason, try getting yourself over it unless you really want to sacrifice lenght because it gets too much attention.

[LisaButz2001]

You and I sound like we have a little bit in common, although, since I've had long hair for 32 years, I stopped getting the "You must use a whole bottle of shampoo." question maybe 20 years ago. (lifetime of long hair) I do however get plenty of, "How long does it take to dry it?, when are you going to cut yours? How short would you cut it?" I do occasionally get unwanted attention, but I give them, what my sister has termed my "Freddy Kruger" look and they go away. Nobody really touches it anymore, but if it were a friend I'd be OK. When I was younger I hated it, and most people are well trained about it now.

Your signature picture is how I wish my hair had looked at that length, please don't cut. I wanted to cut mine, so losing 10 incjhes on Saturday was cool, but if you truly like that length don't be discouraged.

[lapushka]

Why would cutting back to waist solve this? It might not. Then what?

If you do cut your hair, make sure it's not because of the nuisance of people wanting to invade your space, touch your hair. You might regret it, esp. if afterwards they don't stop doing what they're doing.

[Celtic Morla]

I can't say I've had too many people touching my hair. Most of the time it's a friend or relative that wants to "boing" one of my curls, and I let them if they ask. They do it like two or three times and they usually get it out of their system.

But one day last semester this girl I sat in front of was "boinged" this one super long ringlet without me knowing. When I finally noticed I turned around grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged a little bit. She said rather loudly "what are you doing!!", to which I responded with "doesn't feel good does it?".



GOOD for you! It's quite annoying when people touch your ahir. When I was a kid and people did it I would jump scream a little hgih pitched scream and trun around as fast as I could. Usually it stopped anyone from doing it! My hair at that age was classic and really white blond.

[Signe]

Please don't take this the wrong way...but if it is just harmless little old ladies that you personally know, touching the hair not even around your face, and then respecting your wishes not to do it again, what is the massive dilemma? I understand that you don't like it, neither do I...but it is not going to give you a disease or serious injury, and they are probably not doing it in any malicious way. I just don't see how it would be bad enough to want to cut all of that amazing hair!
Basically, there ain't no such thing as a free lunch...you have something that is unusual, beautiful, and rare...those things come at the price of unwanted amounts of attention. I wouldn't stress so much if I were you, as long as they aren't being innappropriate or hurting you, it would probably be easier on your state of mind to just try and let it go.

[RainbowHawk]

People want to touch my hair all the time when I wear it down, even though it isn't that long. I think that because I'm so short, they feel as though I'm a kid and therefore community property. (It's about ten times worse when I'm pregnant-- GAH!) I'm no longer polite about it, I will slap your hands if I find them in my hair or boinging my ringlets. If you're lucky enough to be tall and out of my reach, I won't be able to pull your hair in return but if you're not, YOINK! Some people did not learn about personal space or boundaries as children, and I pity them enough to teach them a lesson.

In my experience, people who *ask* usually have the decency to be embarrassed. I've had people stare longingly at my hair and I know they want to get their hands into it; I make it very clear that it's not for touching unless they're someone I want to be naked with. :p

These days my biggest problem is with my own kids, especially the girls (except when I wear curly ponytails-- then they all want to pull the ringlets). I feel kind of guilty about the fact that they didn't get curly hair of their own, but at the same time I have to teach them that they cannot just walk up behind someone and start pulling out curls-- not even their own mother! I don't generally slap their hands, but I do remind them (constantly) to keep their hands to themselves.

[MinderMutsig]

WHOAH!! *jump and turn around with a startled look on your face* You scared me! It's creepy when you suddenly feel something in your hair. Please don't do that again.

You don't have to be rude, they will feel embarrassed and they will probably never touch your hair again. For those who are particularly slow learners it might take 2-3 times but eventually the message will sink in. Don't touch WaitingSoLong's hair because she will scream like you are a creepy stalker person.

[Pantha]

I completely understand, thats why I don't wear my hair down very often anymore. It is a shame because I agree why have long hair if you can't enjoy it, but then again having someone start playing with your hair is not a pleasureable experience on the whole unless its accepted or invited. I would guess that virtually all of us have experienced it when our hiar is longer than normal, and a lot of people don't understand what personal space is. I have been known to tell people that in many cultures hair is a very sexual part of the body and so by touching someones hair without consent is a little like well I'll let you work that one out :D has put people off doing it again in the past and they get very embarased.

But please don't let other people dictate how you wear or dress your hair, its your hair not theirs.

[spidermom]

It seems a bit of a paradox. You like how your hair looks loose and long, but you don't like that other people notice and touch. How much time do you spend looking at your own hair and admiring that it's loose and long when you're out and about?

For me, it would be 0.

To me, it seems the easiest solution would be hair up if out and about; hair down when you have the time, leisure, and privacy to enjoy it.

(I didn't read all the other posts)

[torrilin]

They are usually, if not always, older ladies. Usually old enough to be my parent.

Thing is... being polite to our elders is a courtesy. It's a sign of respect for their age and wisdom, above and beyond the regular politeness we'd use for just anyone.

An elder who is being rude and invasive and is taking advantage of her advanced years? She's not acting like an elder. That means she does not get treated like one. Grabbing your hair means she's acting much worse than my 2 year old nephew, who has never once pulled on my hair.

If he did, I'd loudly say ow, and tell him no. Doesn't matter if we wind up making a spectacle... if there's a 2 year old around there's gonna be a spectacle. I'm positive the older women of your social circle usually can and do behave better than two year olds. Don't feel ashamed of reminding them of this in whatever way seems reasonable.

(and yeah, I can understand why you'd feel like it's rude... but they're not entitled to paw at you.)

[Quetiepi]

You have such beautiful hair. I can understand why people admire it so. I sympathize with feeling creeped out about strangers touching it. I hate it when they do that to me, too. It's very rude. I usually pull away from them & move my hair around to the front of my body.

[RedDevil]

Thats really crazy that people just come up to you and grab your hair. You are definately a more patient person than i am b/c i would not tolerate that for one second. And i wouldnt be nice about it either. Do not cut your hair. Its just too damn nice.

[archel]

Oh, there are some GREAT ideas here. I haven't been that long in a long time and back then I wore it up when I went out - but if this were to happen, I'd do a number of these great suggestions here :)

[Anje]

Telling them that you never shampoo it (regardless of your actual wash method) might keep their hands away from your hair.... :twisted:

As near as I can tell, a great number of people really enjoy running around in horribly uncomfortable shoes every day. I just got a new pair of VFFs in red, BTW.

[1hunky5monkeys]

I never have anyone (strangers/unwanted) touch my hair. Maybe because I am not too sociable around strangers- I don't make eye contact or unnecessary conversation, etc. Strangers do comment on how beautiful/long my hair is though.

But when I was preggers, oh boy!! Somebody was always touching or worse, rubbing, the bump! :justy:
Hmmm. Does that mean my belly was more attractive than my hair is? lol

[gthlvrmx]

I got this sometimes, the moment i say i don't shampoo, they either don't touch my hair or stop asking questions.
But then i get the few fair people who admire that i do things differently and want to learn. It's a personal thing i suppose, i'd rather answers questions if they have any and be fair. They ask, i answer in return, it seems fairly simple and they learn something new. If they have something good to say afterwards, then good, accept and move on, but if it's anything mean, i'd probably just walk away silently or explode on them.
But if someone touches my hair without me letting them, i'd make it VERY obvious that i DO NOT LIKE THAT. It's rude, it's not right, and isn't fair since i didn't let them.
But wearing a bun really helps solve all this.

Guess you might have to make that shirt, i think it's cute.

[DarkSky]

If I was a bold person I would be tempted to touch your hair as well ;) It's so beautiful!!! I know how you feel though and I don;'t mean to make light of it. It reminds me of the days when I was pregnant and random strangers would just start rubbing my belly. I felt so uncomfortable and didn't know how to verbalize to them to stop. I would just try to back away. I think though if I had your problem I would just flip my hair to the front of me when I felt "danger" was approaching or stand in a position so that it makes it more difficult for them to reach out and touch it. I would probably try to get good at reading the signs before the person reaches out. I would not cut my hair though. Also I think if I were in a crowded public place I'd be tempted to throw it up in a bun or side pony tail.

[AnnaJamila]

Meant to add the first time I responded, you've brought this upon yourself with all that beautiful fairy-mermaid-princess goodness you have sprouting from your head!

Lol, you do have lovely hair! :)

[truepeacenik]

Things that work for me:
Side braid that lies in front.
Buns with very pointy sticks
Physical space between myself and people on public transit, when possible.
Tucking hair into my shirt.
braids in general at least get people to ask to touch. Loose hair seems to entice the touchers. Maybe they think they can say it was accidental?

[Dorothy]

I have one more suggestion, which may sound weird if you're not an "energy person" which I am generally not, being relentlessly scientific. But Cesar Milan, dog whisperer, has got me whipped, I have a LARGE puppy, and must use personal energy a lot to set limits with her. So it might help to watch Cesar to figure out what I mean, and it will mean changing your personal presentation, which is hard.
You want to project "don't touch me" "this is my space" type of energy. Stand up straight, square your shoulders, and be aware of who is around you and how close they are. I don't feel particularly comfortable with people close behind me, anyway. I have difficulty projecting this energy, as I am in presentation generally a sweet, kind, courteous person.

Practicing with the puppy helps. If I'm folded in on myself or tight in my movements, the pupppy will jump on me with rough paws again and again and again - but if I puff up like Cesar and take up space, she sees me as dominant and stops jumping on me. Immediate reminders and feedback.

This can also work to keep men away from me in bars - I don't mind men, but some of them tend to stand on top of you in bars, they're so used to casually taking up space, and I don't do that, so they end up appropriating my space. You have to work extra hard to put out the "don't tread on me" energy in this context - but it's really clear to me when I'm with my partner, she's not butch, but she's a bit of an amazon, and men do not stand on her in bars, whereas I'm pretty much superfemme and they do stand on me.

However, I'm not sure this will work on little old ladies, you have to experiment. I have to know a person really well before I will even ask to touch their hair - the people whose hair I can ask to touch now, for example, are limited to my partner and my very best friend. But I think older ladies with younger women may have a bit of a mama feeling that tells them that touching your hair may be ok.

[AshleyTheRed]

Wear it in a braid. This way you can use your hair as a weapon. BAM " Please don't touch my hair."

[Charybdis]

You want to project "don't touch me" "this is my space" type of energy. Stand up straight, square your shoulders, and be aware of who is around you and how close they are. I don't feel particularly comfortable with people close behind me, anyway. I have difficulty projecting this energy, as I am in presentation generally a sweet, kind, courteous person.

Practicing with the puppy helps. If I'm folded in on myself or tight in my movements, the pupppy will jump on me with rough paws again and again and again - but if I puff up like Cesar and take up space, she sees me as dominant and stops jumping on me. Immediate reminders and feedback.

This can also work to keep men away from me in bars - I don't mind men, but some of them tend to stand on top of you in bars, they're so used to casually taking up space, and I don't do that, so they end up appropriating my space. You have to work extra hard to put out the "don't tread on me" energy in this context - but it's really clear to me when I'm with my partner, she's not butch, but she's a bit of an amazon, and men do not stand on her in bars, whereas I'm pretty much superfemme and they do stand on me.

Cosign. I'm not a particularly mean person, but I'm quite assertive and I tend to come across as... formidable, I guess. Anyway, when I had waist-length hair, I never had the experience of anyone I didn't know trying to touch it without permission. Not once.

I don't think there's any magic to it - it's just subtle social signaling that involves microgestures that are difficult to quantify but easy for others to pick up on. Visualizing it in your mind as putting out "don't tread me" energy is probably the easiest way to get yourself moving and gesturing in a way that demands people respect your personal space.

Unfortunately, the other thing that really helps is being tall, and that's not something any of us get to control. :(

[luxepiggy]

Next time you find yourself in a situation that incorporates a high probability of unwanted touching, try gathering all of your length and placing it in front of one shoulder. That way, anyone who wants to touch it will have to approach from the front, making it easy for you to take evasive action :run:

Works like a charm, piggy guaranteed! I wear my hair loose maybe 90% of the time, but I habitually pull it forward in front of my left shoulder when standing still or sitting in a group setting. Not only does it drastically reduce touching attempts, it's also a great way to avoid snagging my hair on unexpected hazards like chair backs, queueing stanchions, other people's clothing, my own handbag, etc. (^(oo)^)v

[RubyEmpress]

Hair is like someone elses dog. It's so tempting to pet but never ever do so without asking it's owner. It might bite!

[Malibu Barbie]

I totally get where your coming from.....I have been tempted to cut so much recently for this very reason. I wore my hair in a ponytail last weekend while in the food store some women is chasing me down yelling, "miss, miss", My friend with me was like, what did we do? I was walking faster and he stepped in front of her and asked , What do you want ( She was an employee) I just want to tell her, "She has to prettiest hair I have ever seen." It wasn't even down. It was in a ponytail but it doesn't matter. This women is yelling across the selling floor. I've found that when going to the food stores or drug stores or walmart ect...Wear it up or in a braid. The average person won't touch your hair when going out to eat or other special places. Only once, I was at a concert and a person asked to pet my hair.

I have no idea why people think its ok to touch us just because we have long hair. If you love your long hair don't cut for anyone but yourself.

Yes, the public can be so rude, it's just something us longhairs have to deal with. In all my years I have never found a way to make them behave:rolleyes:

[Navydoc_76]

You have such beautiful hair, I hope you don't cut it!

everyone has given some great advice-and i hope you can find something that works for you.

i can tell you however -i work on an acute psych ward and some people (the truly mentally ill) just dont understand personal space and will get right up ON you to the point where you have to step back lol.they have no boundaries..it happens to me alot and i have learned how to step back and play it off like they dont bother me...secretly, it does. so take into consideration that everyone has their own distance for personal space-for some its arm length, for others its a few inches or none at all.

i have never understood a complete stranger touching someones hair-its creepy and unsettling-i would never dream of touching a womans hair and just dont get it lol...

[emelnd]

I love it when people touch my hair, but not strangers.

When I was a teenager some guy sitting behind me was playing with my spiral ends, my mom noticed and told him off. It's horrible. My hair wasn't even long.

A boy in high school asked for some of my hair, from a girl friend of mine. He didn't have a crush - just wanted the interesting hair.

I don't like it one bit and I don't know why people do this.

[rapunzelna]

Like others have said, I can see why people want to touch your hair. That happened to me on occasion, i found pulling my hair over one shoulder and holding it with a bow or band works best. That way I get to wear my hair down, and no one dares touch it because you can always see it. Plus, i find myself playing with all the time when I'm walking around....and I kind of like that.

[emelnd]

Hey, I agree with Dorothy here. I don't know about energies really, but I am not *ANY* bigger than when I was a teenager. I haven't noticed any strangers boinging my ends recently.

The difference is, I dress my age, stand up straight, lean back and just act more confident. People used to also try and walk over me when I was a teenager. If I am too tired or sick, and don't stand as confident, they still try walk into the space where I am and expect me to move out of the way.

There were some people talking about getting belly rubs when pregnant. Do you think maybe being pregnant you just don't have the energy or back strength to project the same message?

[Becky9679]

I've only ever had my hair touched randomly twice, both occasions happened quite recently and it was the same person that did it, one of my work colleagues. The first time was an occasion where I happened to wear it down having not done so for ages. She came up behind me, took a bit in her hand saying at the same time 'wow it's grown a lot'. I just reached up and took it back off her then gave her this look :twisted:

She obviously didn't get the message because not long after that I was wearing a new hair stick and she decided to come up behind me and poke the hair stick. I made out like doing that had made my hair pull and it had really hurt (it hadn't but it was a good way to make my point). So far nothing further has happened.

I wouldn't call my hair particularly long at the moment so maybe I have more of this to come, but weirdly the last time I had it very long I never had anyone touch it without permission. Possibly I give out some of those vibes other people have been talking about, I have been told that I have somewhat of a don't f*** with me aura!

Please please please don't cut your hair though. It really is so beautiful, you're one of my inspirations on this board! If you do decide to cut it should be because its what you really want, not because you're being forced into it by those with no concept of personal boundaries.

[UltraBella]

I say don't cut it !
I cut my hair from TBL to BSL (just because I wanted to) and assumed no one would take notice of it anymore and there would be less touching, but they still do.
It is now mid-back length and people touch my hair all the time. I think it might even be worse now actually. The shorter length gives me more volume, and I have lots of hair, it's like a magnet for older women and they just have to touch it. It doesn't really bother me and the touching always comes with a compliment, so I have decided to let it be a good experience for them and I thank them and smile sweetly. It's quicker and less traumatizing for everyone that way. I know their intentions are not to upset me, so I don't react badly.

[Ava666]

Your hair is sooo pretty, and shiny. Like I posted in another thread, today I had a stranger (middle age man) run his hand down my hair and when I turned he complimented my hair. I would have been fine if it was someone I knew, but I'm young and a female... it was creepy having a strange guy touch me. I wish now that I had had the guts to tell him off but I was shocked and just stood there... oh well hopefully if it happens again I'll remember.

[longhairedlady]

I would wear it up. I rarely wear mine down and would not like it either if someone took liberties with my hair!! I wouldnt cut it though, your hair is so gorgeous! I would probably be one of the rudies staring and gawking. Anytime I see someone with hair longer than mine I cant help but be mesmerized! :)

[Demetrue]

You could say, "Ouch! That hurts!" in a loud voice.

[julierockhead]

I can't say I've had too many people touching my hair. Most of the time it's a friend or relative that wants to "boing" one of my curls, and I let them if they ask. They do it like two or three times and they usually get it out of their system.

OMG ROTFL! It's late and I must be tired...but something about the way you put that totally cracked me up. Plus the fact I have always wanted to "boing" curls too, but was always way to shy to ask the curlies I know.

Heh. "Boing".

[mallorykay13]

I can't french braid my hair so I asked my mom to do it... She broke off so much hair... I don't think I can do it again. People don't handle my hair right.

[julierockhead]

I have encountered the same issue with my 5 finger shoes. I love my shoes. But I wear them less and less because I get SO MANY comments and questions and I realize they are a conversation piece. They DO, however, divert attention from my hair, but most of the time I get the shoe question and then the "while I am at it I may as well say something about her hair" question and when you are lying on a cot donating blood, you cannot exactly turn and walk away and I got the "how do you wash your hair, you must use a whole bottle of shampoo each time" thing combined with the "are those shoes comfortable?" (oh no, dear, I am terribly fond of wearing horribly uncomfortable shoes <---something I would never say but think instantly).

First, please don't cut your hair and let the rude people win.
And B, what are five finger shoes? Sounds intriguing.

[longhairedlady]

First, please don't cut your hair and let the rude people win.
And B, what are five finger shoes? Sounds intriguing.

Think gloves, except for your feet!

[IcarusBride]

Seriously, I would just yell at the person. "Who the h*ll are you? I don't know you! Don't touch me!"
There is no reason you need to be nice to complete strangers who violate your body without your permission.

[Olga-Freya]

Some people such rude! Recently when one woman grab my braid ("Oh! What a nice hair!") I turned and grab her nose with phrase "And what a nice nose you have!" Lol, she was really scared XD

[julierockhead]

That is awesome I am totally going to do that next time someone random touches my hair.

[FrozenBritannia]

You know, it might cut down on the touching if, for instance, while standing in lines you brought all your hair forward over one shoulder... Then there would be nothing for them to touch, or at least you'd see it coming ;)

As for the questions... Je n'parle pas anglais! (of course, that wouldn't work on family, but on family you can return with "what's this I heard about you and blank _______, are you crazy?")

[Herb]

I like being touched! But I don't like it when people touch my ends, which they always do (their hand salts might dry them out xD)! So usually I just take my hair from them and tickle them in the face with it.

[KwaveT]

Please don't take this the wrong way...but if it is just harmless little old ladies that you personally know, touching the hair not even around your face, and then respecting your wishes not to do it again, what is the massive dilemma? I understand that you don't like it, neither do I...but it is not going to give you a disease or serious injury, and they are probably not doing it in any malicious way. I just don't see how it would be bad enough to want to cut all of that amazing hair!
Basically, there ain't no such thing as a free lunch...you have something that is unusual, beautiful, and rare...those things come at the price of unwanted amounts of attention. I wouldn't stress so much if I were you, as long as they aren't being innappropriate or hurting you, it would probably be easier on your state of mind to just try and let it go.

I will use this post since it helps make my point for this topic. Waist-length hair definitely qualifies as beautiful, unusual, and rare. I obviously don't have long hair, at least yet, but I am a man with long, beautiful fingernails. On a man, this definitely meets those three qualifications above. I file them into a oval/circle shape. White of cuticle is about anywhere from 5/16 to 1/2 inch long. My nails are clean and naturally shiny but more so since I use white camellia oil and cuticle lotion on them. If one person in a group notices they want to let everybody see them. I will even on rare occassions have people grab my hand to see and even feel my nails which I think is about same thing as these people grabbing your hair especially when they don't ask. Only difference is I can see it coming so I can pull my hand back. Most people usually ask though with this. My nails don't feel any different than other men's nails just better taken care of. Thankfully, my nails aren't easy to break. This mystifies me why they want to do this though. It is usually women that first notice. I probably do give them nail envy. Anything unusual is going to draw attention. I don't like to see one scratch on them. I cashier so it is inevitable that I am going to get at least small ones on surface of nails. I enjoy the positive attention and the compliments, but don't go grabbing my hand though. I work with the public all day this might happen to me more than it would with other men with long nails. Once again it is usually women doing it. I am as protective of my nails as many of you are of your hair. I even get some of the crazy questions too. What do you do to your nails to get them to grow like that? I get statements like "I don't see how you don't break them". I will tell people my nail care regimen and the fact that I got genetically strong nails. I will push a little against my nail just to show how little they bend. I think people are just naturally curious. That usually satisifies their curiosity. I get negative attention for them too but that's a whole another topic. If you don't want people to notice then for the hair you would have to be put into updoes or keep your hair in front of you. I would in no way cut the hair if you like your hair though.

[elfgirl]

Let me start off by saying, your hair is beautiful!! However, I totally understand your thoughts and feelings on the hair-touching issue. It has happened to me in the past, which is one of the reasons why I have my hair up in a bun more often than not. Based on my own experiences, and what others on here have said, I think it would be best to probably keep your hair up.

If someone does touch your hair again, I don't think it would be inappropriate or rude to ask them politely to stop.

I wish you the best! :)

[Kricket]

I bit the last person that touched my hair. =P

Kidding. But I understand the dilemma.