Do you have an emotional attachment/bond with your hair that goes beyond the "norm"?

[pixiedust]

Pre LHC, I used to just have hair that I would style and iron and tear through with a brush, but now I have an attachment to it that's almost creepy and pet-like. Like, I think it's cute in a way that's less like, "oh, my hair looks cute today!" and more like, "aww it's so fluffy!" :inlove:

Anybody else experience this bizarre habit ? Or am I just strange... :hmm:

[MissAlida]

LHC definitely changed my view of my hair... Before, I used 2 shampoos, conditioner, detangled in a rush, slept with my hair loose, worn tight ponytails, and wondered why my hair isn't nice and growing. Now, I'm babying it, and it has grown almost an inch in a month. I pay constant attention to it, and I hope that caring for it will become a habit, something like brushing my teeth. I feel giulty and bad when I hear snaps during detangling...:o. Oh, and I made hairstick out of sticks found in(don't laugh)... icecream. I must be crazy. But they really look nice with a nailpolish finish. No one would tell where they came from, only my BF knows, and he loves them.:D

[Dragon Faery]

Me too! I try to pretend I don't, but ... Yeah. Ever since I discovered CO washing it's been more apparent. I stop at any reflective surface to see what my hair is currently doing, and I can't keep my fingers out of it because it's soooo soft! It's like my kitty! So yeah. I guess I do sort of allow it to take on a pet-like identity in my mind.

Has anyone named their hair? Like people name pets, and some people name their cars? Is that just too obsessive? :) ?

[mrs_coffee]

I don't. I'm not sure why, but I never have. I'm determined to grow it out at this point in my life, but at the same time if I had to shave my head for some reason, I'd be fine. It grows back.

[Alaia]

I haven't named my hair or thought of it as a pet or a person, but I am probably unreasonably attached to it.

I use it as a defining part of me, and if anything happened to it that made it all crapped up I would be devastated.

[Night_Kitten]

I'm attached to my hair, more than is "normal" for sure, and I've become very over-protective since I found LHC, LOL :D

[CurlAhead]

Pre LHC, I used to just have hair that I would style and iron and tear through with a brush, but now I have an attachment to it that's almost creepy and pet-like. Like, I think it's cute in a way that's less like, "oh, my hair looks cute today!" and more like, "aww it's so fluffy!" :inlove:

Anybody else experience this bizarre habit ? Or am I just strange... :hmm:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I have a sort of emotional relationship with my hair, yes. We fight, we cry a little, I am threatening it with a scissor, I cut.. It gets revenge on me by being uglier, etc.! :laugh:

[joesgirl2011]

I have an attachment but i think its "self esteem" related. I certainly feel "less than" when my hair is short. WHY do i cut it..i see a pic and think wow that would look good then the cut doesnt come out right and i'm stuck with a year of torture just to get it past my shoulders again. I get more compliments when its long..I know my best LOOK is when my hair is long. So this time i'm sticking with you ladies on here. Team effort i think..lol! I've learned a lot here so my hair is actually growing longer "differently" this time. Thank you so much!

[Ligeia_13]

I have an attachment but i think its "self esteem" related. I certainly feel "less than" when my hair is short. WHY do i cut it..i see a pic and think wow that would look good then the cut doesnt come out right and i'm stuck with a year of torture just to get it past my shoulders again. I get more compliments when its long..I know my best LOOK is when my hair is long. So this time i'm sticking with you ladies on here. Team effort i think..lol! I've learned a lot here so my hair is actually growing longer "differently" this time. Thank you so much!

This. I couldn't have worded it better.

[kamikaze hair]

well lets put it this way, if someone was to try (and succeeded) and cut my hair, even as a practical joke, I WOULD have them charged with a criminal offence!! Its my hair, everyone else can do what they want with their hair, but mine i choose to take care of. :)

[Crysta]

Yeah, i'm pretty certain I've gone insane.

They're going to find me in a room which is full of my hair, i'm going to be rocking backwards and forwards cuddling it saying "it's ok Mr. Tibbles, I'll giff you some EVOO if you're a good boy"

___

If someone cut your hair without your permission that is illegal, it's a breach of human rights.

___

I shouted at my mom the other day, because she tried to brush it with one of those round nasty plastic brushes of doom!
I apologized - but gosh was I at a fairly mental stage of anger.

___

Yeah dragon faery :| He's called Mr. Tibbles :)

[Bene]

I don't think emotional attachment is the best way to describe my relationship with my hair. I mean, is it even a relationship? :laugh: It's more like how I treat a plant. I take care of it, every so often I'll admire how healthy and happy it is, I AM aware that it's inanimate. it doesn't talk back, it prefers (in a way) specific environmental conditions.



However, it's mine, and just how I wouldn't want somebody coming to my house and killing my plants, I wouldn't want someone chopping it off without my permission. I don't see that as attachment, just me taking care of what's mine.

[Guenhwyvar]

I always hated my hair short and cried whenever it was cut or above waist..... I had it cut short once (long story not really my fault) and I hated it so much I get so emotional. I get annoyed now if someone pulls it by accident.

[WaitingSoLong]

:::raises hand:::: This began before I found LHC. I had had a trim and instead of an inch, I lost 4" and was DEVASTATED. I mean, I cried and was completely unhappy for a long time. Seriously. And I knew that was not normal and found myself wishing I did not care so much about my hair.

But like previous posts, it is becaue I feel incredible ugly with shorter hair. It was all about self-esteem and feeling pretty (I have huge self esteem issues). Since LHC I have become more protective...I am especially funny about people touching my hair. Just the other day someone tugged on my hair to get my attention. GRR!!

Yes, I am attached to it enough to be afraid of a haircut (no one cuts my hair but me!) and I have tried to talk myself into cutting back to waist several times and Just. Cannot. Do it.

[pixiedust]

HAHAHA good to know I'm not entirely off my rocker :cheese:

I also feel uglier with short hair, although not when it was SUPER short. Like, when it was 'trendy' short i liked it, but anything between mostly shaved and apl makes me feel terrible :l

[ilovelonghair]

I have always found my hair extremely important, I think that hair can make or break one's looks (please don't feel offended it's only my opinion and not necesary true) A bad hair cut can change someone but good hair can make someone look so much better. I hate short hair on myself and find it unatractive on guys. It goes that far that I can't stand baldness/receding hair (there I said it, I am a horrible person), to be truely honest, it's a phobia, if I see a bald head too close-up (I did in the tram last week, it was packed and I stood next to a man who was sitting down) I have to look away. From a distance I can handle it. Shaved heads looks aggressive to me, but not on all people. I am weird.
My boyfriend is also very attached to his hair, he keeps saying how awesome his hair is, which is true haha.
I don't name my hair, but running my fingers through it is kind of soothing. Since LHC it feels nice and soft :)

[archel]

Yeah, I've lost my marbles over my hair. I am wanting a $150 hair brush for Pete's sake!!!!

[Yame]

Yeah, i'm pretty certain I've gone insane.

They're going to find me in a room which is full of my hair, i'm going to be rocking backwards and forwards cuddling it saying "it's ok Mr. Tibbles, I'll giff you some EVOO if you're a good boy"



This made me LOL so hard!

[ericthegreat]

I see my hair as an extension of myself, both literally and figuratively. My hair has been at least shoulder length and longer for over 10 years now, and even when I was a short-haired little kid I admired from afar the waist and TB length manes of my female grade school classmates. My hair is a part of me, even close friends who have know me for years have said to me that my hair is the first thing they see when they think about me (I wonder why LOL :p).

I know that if for whatever reason I were to cut my hair very short one day I would still be the same person inside, but I also know that I wouldn't FEEL like the same person, I wouldn't feel like myself and who I have come to identify myself as.

[Yame]

I think most people with long hair have an above average attachment to their hair simply because it takes so long to grow long hair. Each few inches represents months of growth, the entire length is years long, not just inches. It isn't something I could easily part with.

I don't think my bond with my hair goes much beyond that. I don't feel like it defines me, but I have noticed that to other people it does. At this stage of my life there are people who have only known me with long hair, and I have never changed it in any significant way over the past 5 years. So people recognize me by my hair. I have been in numerous situations where people who had seen me with my hair down and no glasses on did not recognize me once I had my hair up and glasses on.

But to me I am much more than my hair. And to people who have known me for a long time, my hair doesn't matter... I had short hair all of my childhood and through most of my teenage years.

[PianoPlaye]

Does an abusive realtionship that has seen the error of its ways & is now trying to re-establish mutual affection & courtesy count?
If anyone cut my hair I would be somewhat shocked. Then hurricane-furious.
I'm not sure where "normal" is, but I am happier with long hair. Much happier with beginning-to-be-properly-cared-for long hair.

[Curly Hermione]

Definitely, this is me all over! I can tell my friends and family think i'm crazy, they think it's weird that i get upset if my hair gets damaged or doesn't look good, they just don't understand me!!! :crazyq:

[spidermom]

Yes, I think I respect my hair's right to "be" more than most people do. I treat it kind of like a pet, I think.

[Beatnik Guy]

Depends how you define "norm". :silly:

Ok, that's a yes. :)

[taimatsuko]

Just had quite the experience with this today! Someone approached me and in the most polite way offered to style my hair for free if I would help her build her hairdressing profile.

Me: um... my hair is kind of... sensitive
Her: Oh! I use high grade salon products
Me: Yeah... can I bring my own stuff? It's just, I have this thing about silicones, parabens, sulfates, and commercial stuff...
Her: Oooookaaay.... what products would you bring.
Me: Well if you're going to twist it I have a natural aloe vera gel I like to moisturize with and then seal it with shea butter. And if your going to wash it I usually wash my hair with vinegar....
Her: *Blank Stare*
Me: You see the PH in hair is normally....
Her: What is your major in again?
Me: Philosophy.
Her: And what about you little sister what's your major in?
My Sister: Biology
Her: Wanna get your hair done?
My Sister: sure, I don't care what you put in it.

[SugarFang]

Just had quite the experience with this today! Someone approached me and in the most polite way offered to style my hair for free if I would help her build her hairdressing profile.

Me: um... my hair is kind of... sensitive
Her: Oh! I use high grade salon products
Me: Yeah... can I bring my own stuff? It's just, I have this thing about silicones, parabens, sulfates, and commercial stuff...
Her: Oooookaaay.... what products would you bring.
Me: Well if you're going to twist it I have a natural aloe vera gel I like to moisturize with and then seal it with shea butter. And if your going to wash it I usually wash my hair with vinegar....
Her: *Blank Stare*
Me: You see the PH in hair is normally....
Her: What is your major in again?
Me: Philosophy.
Her: And what about you little sister what's your major in?
My Sister: Biology
Her: Wanna get your hair done?
My Sister: sure, I don't care what you put in it.

haha, this happens to me all the time. I'm in Cosmetology school (I want to go into spa) and the girls always want to play with my hair, but I'm always weird about it. I don't want them to brush it roughly or blow dry it :P

As for the OP, I definitively feel an attachment to my hair that is a little more then average. I don't quite think of it as a pet, but I feel like my hair has it's own separate personal space. I'm also convinced that it has mood swings.

[ange1ito]

Lol i am always freaked out with hair issue's. My sister was combing my niece's hair the other day with a plastic comb which was'nt looking to good. My niece was jumping around all over the place, whilst her mother was just tearing through her hair. I had to shout out, "Don't do that" straight away, as I then proceeded to explain the damage she was inflicting to her little girl's hair.

[racrane]

I am emotionally attached, too. I think my family thinks it's odd, but since they like my hair, they don't complain. My boyfriend thinks it's annoying if he can tell I'm getting OCD about it - like buying more hair stuff when I clearly don't need them. But as long as I don't spend too much or get too weird with others, I think I"m ok. But I'm terrified since I'm in theater one day my director will say "Can you cut your hair?". And because I"m desperate for a job, I just might. But I really don't want to!

[Quixii]

I don't like people I don't absolutely trust touching my hair. I am very attached to it. I wouldn't say creepily attached, but I might cry if it were cut against my will. (Though I cry easily.)

[BlazingHeart]

I don't think I'm more attached to it than 'normal'. I mean, I really give it a minimum of care - wash, condition, airdry (hairdryers were too much effort even before LHC), brush, and do something to get it out of my face.

But then, I have hard to damage, tough hair that grows fast. Waist isn't a big deal to me, I've had my hair hip length (and gone from there to a pixie, which I didn't like because it was badly done not because the length bothered me). My best friend came to the salon with me and chopped my ponytail off because she'd been teasing me about my hair getting longer. I've gone back and forth between long and short and really the main reason I'm on LHC is because I got curious about just how long my hair would grow and decided I needed to learn to do more with it if I was going to go past hip length, because the last time I passed hip it suddenly started getting tangled a lot more and I completely lost patience with it and cut it.

But I think I'm odd by LHC standards.

~Blaze

Edited to add: the main reason I don't let other people futz with my hair is that I'm tenderheaded, not because I'm worried they'll damage anything.

[PixxieStix]

I'm not there yet.

Only recently did I start viewing my hair as something to care for, not a nightmare or enemy I had to carry with me everywhere I went. Most of that however stems from the emotional issues caused by my trichotillomania that I still haven't fully resolved.

To this day, when I hear a girl complaining about a bad hair day or that it wouldn't go in *just right* for a ponytail, I've had to bite my tongue (literally) or walk away almost in tears from wanting to yell at them about how lucky they were to at least have a full head of hair to have problems with.

So, it is a tentative step in the right direction for me right now, to love and care for my hair. I'm deathly afraid of getting too attached and then having a relapse. I don't know if I'd be able to take it. On the flip side, loving for my hair and caring for it makes me significantly less likely to pull it out, so we'll see. I'm off the blowfryer (had been for a little while before LHC, but after reading about the damage it causes I only use it to dry off my bird after our shower every morning), experimenting with CWC and CO, am going to be an avid user of henna after my first experience with it, I love how it has left my hair so strong and shiny, and got some coconut oil to experiment with soon.

As for people being allowed to touch my hair, I used to be indescriminate, but that's changing.

[PF Graham]

I just wish I have been MORE attached to my hair when I was younger.

Oh well....

[spigette]

Like most of us here at LHC, I am hair-obsessed for sure. :)

Since joining, I have fallen in love with my hair - and like any good marriage, you have to embrace the flaws as well as the strengths, and love in spite of everything.

I adore my hair most days (though I keep this to myself :o ), and love to catch a glimpse of it in mirrors and windows etc as I go by.

Like my husband, it makes me crazy sometimes, and there are some things I would change if I could, but I love the entire package and do my best to keep it healthy and happy. :D

[WaitingSoLong]

I hate short hair on myself and find it unatractive on guys. It goes that far that I can't stand baldness/receding hair (there I said it, I am a horrible person), to be truely honest, it's a phobia, if I see a bald head too close-up (I did in the tram last week, it was packed and I stood next to a man who was sitting down) I have to look away. From a distance I can handle it. Shaved heads looks aggressive to me, but not on all people. I am weird.

I don't think your weird because then I would be weird for being the exact opposite. Baldness is very sexy to me. I am definitely more attracted to balding men and love that DH has decided to do the shaved instead of buzzed look :eyebrows: . I love running my hands over his freshly shaved head. Best part: I get to shave his head. LOL You are probably ready to vomit now. Back int he 80's and 90's I was attracted to longer haired men but not anymore. :shrug:



I know that if for whatever reason I were to cut my hair very short one day I would still be the same person inside, but I also know that I wouldn't FEEL like the same person, I wouldn't feel like myself and who I have come to identify myself as.

THIS! Thank you Eric, you always have such a great way of putting things :)


I think most people with long hair have an above average attachment to their hair simply because it takes so long to grow long hair. Each few inches represents months of growth, the entire length is years long, not just inches. It isn't something I could easily part with.

Wow, you are so right about this. I never thought of it that way. One of the things I admire about my hair is the simple fact it takes commitment and patience to be this long. My hair, to me, represents both those traits in me which I strive for (not just for my hair, but for other aspects of life). This amplifies my attachment to my hair. I know I have a lot of difficulty in so many areas of my life about giving up things (I am stuck in my ways). Once something has "been" for so long, I tend to cling to it (perhaps even if it is not good) just because it has "been" for so long. Commitment is usually a good thing, call it more loyalty, but some things need to be chucked out...like abusive relationships. Ok, I am getting philosophical or physological or ridiculogical...LOL...anyway getting way off the topic here.

[Lollipop]

I have a significant attachment to my hair that is outside the normal realm. I am aware that it is innanimate, and that if I cut it that it will grow back, but I don't want to. I like how long hair looks, and feels, and moves. I don't feel beautiful, or even like myself, with short hair. I am secure with it, and I respect it, and I care for it, and I realize that how it looks is a reflection on that. I no longer see it as an accessory that I am trying to mold into a certain shape. I see it as another part of me that I have accepted, and that I do not fight, but rather let it be. I think that the most significant change is that I am truly comfortable with it on a deep level.

[lapushka]

I'm not particularly attached to my hair. Not really. Well, it's there. It's on my head... still, after all the hell I put it through throughout the years. I didn't think about it much then, and I don't think about it much now. Benign neglect really applies.

[ilovelonghair]

I don't think your weird because then I would be weird for being the exact opposite. Baldness is very sexy to me. I am definitely more attracted to balding men and love that DH has decided to do the shaved instead of buzzed look :eyebrows: . I love running my hands over his freshly shaved head. Best part: I get to shave his head. LOL You are probably ready to vomit now. Back int he 80's and 90's I was attracted to longer haired men but not anymore. :shrug:


It's such a matter of taste! I just feel weird and cannot bring myself to ever say it outloud exept on here (and that took me a lot of efford thinking for being judged) or to my BF, but outside of LHC in the past I have tried and gotten very bad responses. People seem to think I'm a bad person for that.
For example no one will ever comment on things I say that relate to this. I wonder why there are so many bald men, even though most men detest being bald: nowadays there are so many ways to not being bald: medicines or invisible hair pieces. If I were a man I'd do anything to not be bald. Discussing the interesting fact that more men bald these days than in the past (and at so much younger ages too) is not done, but I have avery strange curiosity towards this: why did that change? I notice a change even in the last 10 years and I am not alone, my mother said that when she was young it was rare to have a receding hair line before the age of 40, now you see it in most men in their 20s already.
But where I live I think it's culturally not allowed to talk freely about these things so I keep my mouth shut.

Btw WaitingSoLong, I have serious hair envy now! Wish mine was that long!

[BeckyAH]

I would image that part of the reason so many more men are visibly bald is the same reason we now have more people with neon colored hair, asymmetrical cuts, and more styles of dress/accessories represented on the street today than there were ten years ago. We're a lot more free now to *not* conform to the standard. Some of it's fashion, absolutely, the same as any other hairstyle, but some of it's just society no longer demanding its members look the same - so those medicines and hair pieces are just not used and worn by as many people.

I don't, by the way, think you're a horrible person. It is possible though that the reason people aren't comfortable talking to you about it is that, well, while you can be turned off or bothered by it, it can sound an awful lot like 'ew, ick' about the PERSON, rather than the state of their head and what is, and isn't, on it.

[hyettf16]

Kind of like some guys and their cars?
By this I mean, some people take time to restore an old car, wash it just right, get it painted, spend a ton of money on them. They put work into their cars kind of like we do to our hair.

[sun-kissed]

A year ago I saw my hair as just another part of me, something that has always been there and always will be. I yanked brushes through it, never cut it, washed every day with sulfates, never conditioned it, and many other horrid things. But after LHC, everything changed. My hair is my dearest friend, something to care for and love. I spend more time taking care of it and learning about it than any other part of my body. It's getting obsessive, I no longer carry a comb with me, I'm always oiling, massaging, and protecting it. I've gone WO and stopped washing every day, because when I wash(even though it's only water) it feels as though I'm hurting it. And I spend at least two hours a week S&Ding.

I've developed a reputation in my family.

[AbstractMage]

Oh, I'm seriously attached to my hair. I always have been.
I wanted long hair before I was even in kindergarten, but my mom kept cutting it short. Argh! As soon as I could, I put a stop to that and I've been taking care of my own hair ever since.
Moving out of my parent's house has helped a lot - My DH has no problem trimming just the amount I ask. The last time my dad trimmed me I went from BSL to barely shoulder length. So much for taking off just an inch! Now I'm at around 26" and needing another trim to tidy things up, which I couldn't have managed with my folks harassing me about my hair. For some reason, my mom, who had really long hair in her 20's, has had shoulder length my whole life and tried to force the same on me.

And yeah, if someone cut my hair without permission I think I'd get a touch violent on them. Or possibly on their car.

[WaitingSoLong]

Does anyone else dislike their attachment to their hair? I wish I did not care. Sometimes I wish I had never found LHC and become "hair aware" and just gone on naively altering my hair with every whim. In a way, it was more freeing. Now every time I brush or comb my hair I wonder how many strands I will lose and if there is breakage and if I go in public I am super obsessed about my hair touching things or people touching it, etc. Of course I am a bit OCD, but still...

Sometimes I wish I didn't care. Of course nothing is stopping me from cutting/dying, perming but I have a hair-conscience now and cannot seem to do it. I have wanted to cut back to waist for about a year now and cannot. do. it. I am terrified of regret if I do. I trim an inch and miss it terribly.

I have a deep seated desire to shave my head, too, but have rationally rejected the idea because of the "tween" phases of growing out I do not want to suffer through and the fact my mood is often directly affected by my hair.

I wax and wane, going from "never cutting again" to contemplating shaving to everything in between (and never doing anything which = growing out). I was never much of an impulse hair-changer. I always seriously considered any change and don't really regret a whole lot except the sun in. But it has been years since I had a drastic change and the longer it goes, the more I am afraid of it but wonder if I would enjoy my hair more if I would just cut back to waist.

[Kristin]

I am definitely too attached to my hair. Whenever I think about getting a "real" hair cut, images of bleeding strands flood my brain and I get the idea that a cut would actually, physically hurt. Not normal.

[Rusticular]

I've always been ridiculously attached to it; never treated it as something other than the hair on my head, but woah am I overprotective of it! I was absolutely heartbroken when a student hair-dresser cut it off up to my shoulder blades.

I'll treat it like delicate lace, right up until it's time to go moshing. Then, uh, I'll deal with the damage best I can with ridiculous amounts of conditioner..

[Lollipop]

Does anyone else dislike their attachment to their hair? I wish I did not care. Sometimes I wish I had never found LHC and become "hair aware" and just gone on naively altering my hair with every whim. In a way, it was more freeing. Now every time I brush or comb my hair I wonder how many strands I will lose and if there is breakage and if I go in public I am super obsessed about my hair touching things or people touching it, etc. Of course I am a bit OCD, but still...

Sometimes I wish I didn't care. Of course nothing is stopping me from cutting/dying, perming but I have a hair-conscience now and cannot seem to do it. I have wanted to cut back to waist for about a year now and cannot. do. it. I am terrified of regret if I do. I trim an inch and miss it terribly.

I have a deep seated desire to shave my head, too, but have rationally rejected the idea because of the "tween" phases of growing out I do not want to suffer through and the fact my mood is often directly affected by my hair.

I wax and wane, going from "never cutting again" to contemplating shaving to everything in between (and never doing anything which = growing out). I was never much of an impulse hair-changer. I always seriously considered any change and don't really regret a whole lot except the sun in. But it has been years since I had a drastic change and the longer it goes, the more I am afraid of it but wonder if I would enjoy my hair more if I would just cut back to waist.

I'm sorry to hear that, WaitingSoLong! I don't really know what to say, although I hope whatever you do or don't do makes you happy :flowers:.

Personally, I'm the opposite of this. For the longest time I wanted long hair, but I was it wouldn't look the way it was supposed to. I would "fake" bangs and agonize whether I should get them or not since I knew that they would be a pain, but I thought that they would be pretty. I kept going from wanting hair down to my butt to APL. I spent hours googling haircuts and styling tips, but I could never find anything that felt right.

Long hair feels right. With every inch that I gain, I feel a small load lifted from my shoulders. I feel happier and brighter, like I can take a deep breath. To me, long hair is representative of taking back control of my looks from the media. It is helping me stop agonizing over beauty magazines and stop trying to emulate others. It is making me more confident in myself and stop comparing my looks to others. It is also making me love seeing my hair as it flourishes rather than trying to beat it into some dry, split, and flattened version of what it's "supposed" to look like. In that way, I feel like long hair and the Long Hair Community has truly liberated me. Thank you everyone :wave:!

[invisiblebabe]

I don't like people I don't absolutely trust touching my hair. I am very attached to it. I wouldn't say creepily attached, but I might cry if it were cut against my will. (Though I cry easily.)

I think a lot of people would cry if that happened! It's assault, and it would be scary!

By the way, your hair reminds me a lot of how mine was when I was 17 :) only yours is curlier.

[growingpains]

Does anyone else dislike their attachment to their hair? I wish I did not care. Sometimes I wish I had never found LHC and become "hair aware" and just gone on naively altering my hair with every whim. In a way, it was more freeing. Now every time I brush or comb my hair I wonder how many strands I will lose and if there is breakage and if I go in public I am super obsessed about my hair touching things or people touching it, etc. Of course I am a bit OCD, but still...

Sometimes I wish I didn't care. Of course nothing is stopping me from cutting/dying, perming but I have a hair-conscience now and cannot seem to do it. I have wanted to cut back to waist for about a year now and cannot. do. it. I am terrified of regret if I do. I trim an inch and miss it terribly.

I have a deep seated desire to shave my head, too, but have rationally rejected the idea because of the "tween" phases of growing out I do not want to suffer through and the fact my mood is often directly affected by my hair.

I wax and wane, going from "never cutting again" to contemplating shaving to everything in between (and never doing anything which = growing out). I was never much of an impulse hair-changer. I always seriously considered any change and don't really regret a whole lot except the sun in. But it has been years since I had a drastic change and the longer it goes, the more I am afraid of it but wonder if I would enjoy my hair more if I would just cut back to waist.

Hey WaitingSoLong. I'm really sorry to hear that you don't sound like you are having a lot of fun with your hair right now. I hope you are able to do what makes you happy, comfortable and liberated.

I found LHC in 2008 though did not join till 09. When I joined my hair was MBL as it is now. I was obsessed with getting it longer. I had previously had extensions and spent endless hours agonizing over having my hair long. To me, long hair meant being beautiful, it was like this end result that once achieved would bring me all the happiness I wanted and get rid of all my fears and insecurities. Rationally obviously that's ridiculous, but in my head, I always thought... "if only I had longer hair".

Then in July 2009 I went to a month long yoga camp in Thailand. At the camp the instructors spent a lot of time talking about how the pursuit of "things" in life, the desire to achieve a particular end product - whether it be hair, a car, the perfect family, a house, a skinny body, WHATEVER, would never really bring happiness. They said that those things were all goals, but once achieved happiness would still be elusive as true peace, self acceptance, etc, comes from the process, not achieving things. They said that the constant drive to want more would mean never being happy with the now and it would never be enough until you could let go.

So I cut my hair. I walked out of camp one day, road my motorbike down the road to some cheap salon where no one spoke English and gestured near my chin. They didn't even wash it, just literally hacked my hair off. I was terrified. And it did not look good. Lol. But it was SO freeing. To be able to walk away from all the false promises was better than any perfect looking end result.

Anyhoo, that was a rant, I guess the moral of the story is, grow hair, cut hair, do whatever you want to your hair, whenever you want, but make sure it feels right for YOU. And if it doesn't feel right, dig deep on why that is and work on it.

I hope you do what makes you happy.

[growingpains]

I definitely spend more time thinking about and touching my hair than is average.

I don't do much to it, just wash every 3-4 days, air dry, use some leave ins and oils on the ends and put up in a bike riding friendly style most days.

I definitely TOUCH it more than normal though (nervous habit). I also THINK about it MUCH MORE than normal (hence LHC time). For me I love the escape. My life is intense, busy, often serious and with much responsibility. To be able to say "screw that I need some TLC with LHC as I fantasize about longer hair" feels great. Is it the most normal escape? No. Is it the healthiest? I don't know. It's better than many other ways I could spend my "I'm too tired to see people and unable to work anymore" time. Would I feel more virtuous if instead I practiced yoga or read some excellent literature? Yes. But am I going to change? Not right now :) Not until my hair is long, luscious and beautiful, or I get distracted and stop caring:)

[MissManda]

Apparently, because I miss my length so badly after cutting off five inches late last week.

Grow back, hair! Come back!

At least most of my layers are gone.

[Slinks]

Just had quite the experience with this today! Someone approached me and in the most polite way offered to style my hair for free if I would help her build her hairdressing profile.

Me: um... my hair is kind of... sensitive
Her: Oh! I use high grade salon products
Me: Yeah... can I bring my own stuff? It's just, I have this thing about silicones, parabens, sulfates, and commercial stuff...
Her: Oooookaaay.... what products would you bring.
Me: Well if you're going to twist it I have a natural aloe vera gel I like to moisturize with and then seal it with shea butter. And if your going to wash it I usually wash my hair with vinegar....
Her: *Blank Stare*
Me: You see the PH in hair is normally....
Her: What is your major in again?
Me: Philosophy.
Her: And what about you little sister what's your major in?
My Sister: Biology
Her: Wanna get your hair done?
My Sister: sure, I don't care what you put in it.

:lol: hahahahaha :lol: too funny !!! :cheese:

yes, I have a very serious relationship with my hair, if I bump my head, I care more about my hair than the bruise the bumping caused !! my hair does not have a name but it is treated like rare silver - :-)

[repunzelwannabe]

Good hair = good day. completely. Ever since i went sulfur and cone free i seem to have a lot more of them :)

[Slinks]

Does anyone else dislike their attachment to their hair? I wish I did not care. Sometimes I wish I had never found LHC .

It's not that I dislike careing for my hair or that I wish I didn't find LHC - I LOVE LHC - I dislike some threads, particually the "shed" ones, they creep me .. BUT like all forums you read the threads you want to read :-) thankfully ..

[Avital88]

haha i could say no, but i just told my bf my hair is my baby so it must be true.i love my hair in a strange way

[clarinette]

I've always been very attached to my hair. When I was in high school there was a story going around that a guy had cut off the whole lenght of a girl in the bus (he was sitting behind her, took his scissors and CLIP!!) and I got paranoid to the point of always wearing buns in the bus.
This was in the carribeans, so, all my girlfriends were black, and they were understandably paranoid too (you know how long it takes for hair THAT curly to grow a noticeable inch? yeah.....) so I was not alone looking behind my shoulder during the ride home from school :P

[drquartz1970]

I am greatly attached to my long hair (pun intended!) I am also overly protective of my hair and will protect it from wind and do get paranoid when sitting down somewhere with strangers behind me. I fear someone will try to snip off my hair so I prefer to sit in strange places with my back to the wall.

Never having had long hair before I do not take it for granted, and really look after it like it was antique lace. I am enjoying my new found longhairedom! I have always wanted long hair from an early age but didn't know how to look after 3a-3b hair. For a long while I hated my curly hair as I wanted length not bulk! ONLY now after 42 months growing am I now embracing my natural hair texture and actually liking it!

I am of the opinion that curly hair looks much nicer longer then shorter! And more manageable too. Now that it is longer I am appreciating how the curls add a lot of body to hair that the straighter haired heads don't get as much of. Also it takes years for most people to grow out their hair and so getting hair this long has taken work and maintenance. My hair is fine and tangles easily. I do have good and bad hair days and what with curly hair, it takes a lot more effort to keep under control and I have to stay indoors after hair washes and let it dry naturally otherwise if in the wind and wet it will blow up and look really frizzy.

Thanks to LHC and other sites of support of long hair care it gave me the knowledge to grow it out well. Feeling a lot happier with the longer hair then the shorter hair I had before! Cannot see myself ever going back to having short hair again.

[BelleBot]

I've always been very protective over my hair. It's always been long and I've always been terrified of someone trying to cut it. I even had nightmares about it when I was little. So yes I do have an emotional attachment to it. I love my hair, it's part of who I am, I'd be lost without long hair. I wouldn't be me. It's not just hair to me.

[WaitingSoLong]

Hey WaitingSoLong. I'm really sorry to hear that you don't sound like you are having a lot of fun with your hair right now. I hope you are able to do what makes you happy, comfortable and liberated.

....snip...

Then in July 2009 I went to a month long yoga camp in Thailand. At the camp the instructors spent a lot of time talking about how the pursuit of "things" in life, the desire to achieve a particular end product - whether it be hair, a car, the perfect family, a house, a skinny body, WHATEVER, would never really bring happiness. They said that those things were all goals, but once achieved happiness would still be elusive as true peace, self acceptance, etc, comes from the process, not achieving things. They said that the constant drive to want more would mean never being happy with the now and it would never be enough until you could let go.

So I cut my hair. I walked out of camp one day, road my motorbike down the road to some cheap salon where no one spoke English and gestured near my chin. They didn't even wash it, just literally hacked my hair off. I was terrified. And it did not look good. Lol. But it was SO freeing. To be able to walk away from all the false promises was better than any perfect looking end result.

Anyhoo, that was a rant, I guess the moral of the story is, grow hair, cut hair, do whatever you want to your hair, whenever you want, but make sure it feels right for YOU. And if it doesn't feel right, dig deep on why that is and work on it.

I hope you do what makes you happy.

Thank you for this.

I have wanted to cut it off just for the same reasons, to be free from the attachment I feel is unhealthy. But I have really thought things through and have grown out of my phase where I did things on a whim (I did find myself, about a year ago, with scissors in hand, my hair in the other hand and looking in a mirror but never cut). I have actually gone the opposite direction and rarely do anything without thorough consideration and NO ambivalence.

That is not really healthy, either. You have to take risks. Thing is, we are supposed to learn from mistakes and if I have regretted a haircut to the point of tears in the past, probably not somthing I will soon repeat. I would rather be annoyed by the length and unhappy with the color than to cut and be distraught.

I will confess one thing, I keep my hair because it is the only thing I ever get compliments for, really, the only attention I ever get. I am terribly introverted and private and my hair is actually a daring thing for me because I dislike attention and it sure gets me a lot. I wear it up when I don't want the attention because I have found it to be unwelcome most the time.

At the risk of ranting and self-psychoanalyzing, I will stop here. I think LHC has put more of my focus on my hair but seriously, it is the only relaxing social time I get, reading the threads...there are worse things I could be addicted to.

I could never have grown my hair this long without LHC, I tried before and simply did not know how to care for it.

[growingpains]

Thank you for this.

I have wanted to cut it off just for the same reasons, to be free from the attachment I feel is unhealthy. But I have really thought things through and have grown out of my phase where I did things on a whim (I did find myself, about a year ago, with scissors in hand, my hair in the other hand and looking in a mirror but never cut). I have actually gone the opposite direction and rarely do anything without thorough consideration and NO ambivalence.

That is not really healthy, either. You have to take risks. Thing is, we are supposed to learn from mistakes and if I have regretted a haircut to the point of tears in the past, probably not somthing I will soon repeat. I would rather be annoyed by the length and unhappy with the color than to cut and be distraught.

I will confess one thing, I keep my hair because it is the only thing I ever get compliments for, really, the only attention I ever get. I am terribly introverted and private and my hair is actually a daring thing for me because I dislike attention and it sure gets me a lot. I wear it up when I don't want the attention because I have found it to be unwelcome most the time.

At the risk of ranting and self-psychoanalyzing, I will stop here. I think LHC has put more of my focus on my hair but seriously, it is the only relaxing social time I get, reading the threads...there are worse things I could be addicted to.

I could never have grown my hair this long without LHC, I tried before and simply did not know how to care for it.

Ya I feel the same way, there are certainly worse things one could do than spend time on hair and thinking about hair! And you hair is VERY lovely, so pretty! :) I bet you would get compliments on your hair at waist length too:) It's just so nice!

[elbow chic]

I'm vain about it, but eh, could be worse. It's hair, not crystal meth.

And I'm not really seeking spiritual enlightenment through austere non-attachment at this point in my life. Shaving my head, sleeping on a mat, rising at dawn, living on porridge and water, begging for alms, etc. :p

Maybe someday. :D

[ilovelonghair]

I don't, by the way, think you're a horrible person. It is possible though that the reason people aren't comfortable talking to you about it is that, well, while you can be turned off or bothered by it, it can sound an awful lot like 'ew, ick' about the PERSON, rather than the state of their head and what is, and isn't, on it.

I never talk about it, except some close friends maybe. I have bald friends, it wouldn't stop me from being friends with them of course :) just as long as I don't have to touch their head :p


Does anyone else dislike their attachment to their hair? I wish I did not care.

I sometimes feel like this too, I felt so bad (even inferior) about my hair as a teen and in my 20's because it wasn't as thick as everyone elses, and somehow EVERYBODY had thick hair back then. Now most people have thin hair (where I live that is) so mine doesn't look different.

[Xi]

Certainly -- that's likely common for people who have long hair for sustained periods. If it was just hair, we'd have chopped it off on a whim long before it got this long. ;) I don't think it's pathological or anything -- my hair just gives me a quiet pleasure that has nothing to do with fashion or other people's opinions. In my heart of hearts I kind of think other people are crazy for being so UNattached to their hair!:D

[Yozhik]

I do feel attached to my hair -- after all, it's become a large investment of my time and money.

Plus, I feel as though it's an outward sign of my interest in natural beauty (meaning unprocessed hair, less reliance on chemical cleansers, no make-up, etc.). My hair has become an important symbol to me, although I wouldn't feel horrible cutting it, as long as I had thought long and rationally about my reasons for doing so. I definitely derive more satisfaction from it and pleasure in its beauty that other people (non-LHC) do in their hair. :)

[Kayla Nyx]

oh yes.. I do ): I freak out and shiver if I so much as feel someone lightly touching my hair. it tickles and feels so WEIRD. I hate when my friends tug at a curl to get my attention, I usually end up hitting them. Lol. The only person I trust cutting my hair is my aunt sam.. because she used to be a hair stylist and knows i'd be devastated if MORE comes off then what I want. if what I want comes off and nothing more.. I dont get to upset over loosing some split ends..

[WaitingSoLong]

I hate when my friends tug at a curl to get my attention, I usually end up hitting them

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS??? This irritats the crap out of me. Seriously. I have lots of older people (like old enough to be my parents) and they tug on my hair to get my attention. Gently, but still. BACK OFF. I usually say "Don't. Touch. The Hair."

[WaitingSoLong]

So last night I had one of those I-chopped-my-hair-off dreams. I did it in my bedroom, chopped up to shoulder length. I had these lovely spirals and it magically made all my sun-in go away (my roots are not that long yet) and remember petting it over and over saying it was so soft. Then I styled it in some helmet 80's feathered look. LOL. I liked it for a day, then regretted it. In my sleep, I went to bed and woke up, just to find it wasn't a dream and was devastated.

I was intensely relieved when I woke up for real and my braid was still dnagling down to my butt.

PHEW.

This IS reality now, right? lol

Anyway, I know that dream stems from this thread and has successfully cured me of any desire to cut back at this time. LOL