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View Full Version : How do you learn to love your hair? depression over ugly short curt growing out



l0nd0nbr1dg3
August 3rd, 2011, 07:06 PM
this cut is floating somewhere around chin at the back and then the fron is above my chin and the bangs awful and i feel completely depressed even looking in the mirror
to top it off it is also damaged i am trying to grow it apl and dreaming of apl, but its 8 inches, i would even be so happy rto have shoulder length hair but waiting gets so frustrating sometimes i just want to cut it all of
i hate it so much and i hate the bleach died damage i dont know why i ever did it..
what do i do to love my hair as it is?? i hate it so much..

mallorykay13
August 3rd, 2011, 07:10 PM
Realize that the "ugly" stage is the only way to get to the "pretty" stage.

americanjan1
August 3rd, 2011, 07:11 PM
Getting rid of cones and COwashing helped me start to get over the hair hate. I totally know what you mean. It's taken a while for my hair to get used to the changes but I'm determined to wait it out. Patience is the key, unfortunately, so I am working on it. :\

cubedcoley
August 3rd, 2011, 07:28 PM
Buy some nice satin scarves and wrap them around your head to cover AND protect. This too shall pass and it IS just hair. It will look different in weeks when properly cared for.

battles
August 3rd, 2011, 07:34 PM
Realize that the "ugly" stage is the only way to get to the "pretty" stage.

This. If you cut it again, you're not going to get past the "ugly" stage. It will pass, you'll eventually get to your hair goals. :)

At that length, you can always use headbands, clips, barrettes, cute earrings, etc.

spidermom
August 3rd, 2011, 07:40 PM
Buy some length-appropriate hair accessories - things you will enjoy using. I used to twist back sections of my growing out fringe and pin them down with crossed jeweled hair pins (like bobby pins but flatter).

Learn to use scarves. Vist the Style Underground web site, other sites too. You can put a deep treatment or oil on your hair, then tie it up with scarves.

And there's hats!

The more I could put my hair under cover and forget about it, the less I stressed about it, and the quicker it seemed to grow.

Sundial
August 3rd, 2011, 07:41 PM
This. If you cut it again, you're not going to get past the "ugly" stage. It will pass, you'll eventually get to your hair goals. :)

At that length, you can always use headbands, clips, barrettes, cute earrings, etc.


Realize that the "ugly" stage is the only way to get to the "pretty" stage.

I agree with above posters! I had my hair between shoulder and chin all my life and couldn't get past the awkward flippy shoulder stage so I'll always cut it off when I get there even though I've always wanted long hair.

Once it gets to the point where it's long enough to stay in a ponytail, things got easier from there. So hang in there!

Cowgirl16
August 3rd, 2011, 07:41 PM
I had a bad dye job turn into 3 bad dye jobs in a short period of time, my hair was so fried I hated it. I basically ignored it and every inch it grew I cut off until the damage was gone. Its difficult, but time and patience are the keys. Good luck :grouphug:

Diesel Tech
August 3rd, 2011, 07:43 PM
This may not help much, but I wore ball caps ALL THE TIME at that stage. I'm a guy and thats pretty much normal around here. I found it best to not think about what length my hair was at, but to look ahead at what I wanted it to be. I thought short term, at the length you're at, I gave my self the goal of being able to pull it all in a pony. It may not be the right way to think of it, but it worked for me.

torrilin
August 3rd, 2011, 08:01 PM
Most people will pay less attention to your hair than you do. 9 times out of 10, other people won't even remember what's growing out of your head. Really.

Your hair isn't bad. It is cut badly. This sucks, but is fixable... mostly with the application of copious amounts of time. Not much else fixes hair. But time fixes just about everything, as long as you can stay outta your hair's way and just let it grow.

And of course that's the precise opposite of what most people would tell you, which is frustrating and enraging.

Madora
August 3rd, 2011, 08:10 PM
Just believe that every day you're one step closer to your goal.

It's not easy putting up with what you currently have, but if you have the determination to hang in there for the long haul, you'll see it through.

If the waiting is just too much, then see if you can try a natural looking wig for a while, if that will help you feel any better.

Good luck!

Mairéad
August 3rd, 2011, 08:17 PM
I'm not exactly thrilled by the look of my grown out pixie but I'm still happy with it. Every day hair is coming out my scalp. I pamper it and enjoy doing my routine and while it looks a bit goofy, it feels amazing!

So, even if you're struggling with the length, there are other ways your hair can give you joy. Enjoy washing it and taking care of it. Think about what it will look like, not how long it will take. And, even indulge in some hair goodies. I love scarves, hair pins, clips, headbands, and much more.

Chiara
August 4th, 2011, 01:30 AM
Eat really healthily, do some exercise, focus on your health and this will help your hair. Play around with your makeup (if you wear it) so that you feel happy with that.

Work out what your hair likes and what it doesn't- when its short, you can experiment with oils, aloe vera gel, honey, SMTs, and temporary colour-and-conditioners like cassia and catnip whatever, and its easy to wash out. Much harder to wash a failed oiling experiment out of long hair! And yes, small butterfly clips were my saviour at one stage, they meant that I could clip it so it looked 'cute' and at least that stopped me stressing.

Avital88
August 4th, 2011, 01:37 AM
Realize that the "ugly" stage is the only way to get to the "pretty" stage.

Yes this is so true, i totally understand how you must feel right now, i have been in that boat before. put it up and leave it! look for feyes self trim and microtrim 4 times a year, and grow hair!eventually you will be ok , it just takes patience, a lot of patience.

Sweetie
August 4th, 2011, 04:30 AM
Come on, I simpathize - but I assure you this time will pass! When I stopped measuring and forgot for quite a few weeks about my hair, they seemed to grow much faster!!!!
Hang on!

pink.sara
August 4th, 2011, 05:26 AM
I can totally sympathise, it's taken me 2 years to grow out bleach damage and I finally just cut the last off, I'm about 2 inches above APL now and my hair grows really slowly.
So dont worry! If you're already at chin it won't be long until you can put it all up in a ponytail and ignore it.
And in the meantime play with accessories and clipping the front up. Also everytime you feel you hate it... Do an SMT or pamper it! The only thing stopping me from chopping or bleaching my really irritating flip-length hair is playing about with henna whenever I get the urge!
Chin to shoulder is about 6 months max... Grin and bear it till then :)

Lilli
August 4th, 2011, 05:58 AM
I was growing out an attempt at a short layered bob with bangs 2 years ago at this time. I hated it, too. I just did a ton of deep treatments and every time I thought about hating it, I told myself, "And this is why you will never cut it again!" It has worked b/c I haven't trimmed in over a year and am just about APL.

mrs_coffee
August 4th, 2011, 06:17 AM
Keep reminding yourself that this is a temporary situation. It will grow out.

spitfire511
August 4th, 2011, 06:37 AM
Buy some length-appropriate hair accessories - things you will enjoy using. I used to twist back sections of my growing out fringe and pin them down with crossed jeweled hair pins (like bobby pins but flatter).

Learn to use scarves. Vist the Style Underground web site, other sites too. You can put a deep treatment or oil on your hair, then tie it up with scarves.

And there's hats!

The more I could put my hair under cover and forget about it, the less I stressed about it, and the quicker it seemed to grow.

^^ This! When mine was shorter, I used pins and clips a TON, especially on the growing bangs that I hated so much.

I think the trick is to distract yourself from how much you hate it. Find accessories you love, ignore it. Paint your nails everyday to have something you like - anything! :)

Mine was at chin in December and is creeping its way toward APL now. I've done this at least 10 times in my life and each time I wonder WHY??!? As I hate it growing at these stages. :) Hang in there - keep babying that hair and find other things to focus on - you'll be out of the "I-hate-this-hair-stage" woods before you know it.

Mymagicfairy
August 4th, 2011, 06:48 AM
I use Bobby pins to keep me sane
I am growing out a pixie cut that was super short in march
It is at the mullet stage now
And I hate it as well
I just wash and go...but on a super hot day twist and pin little sections
Goal is to grow for three years without cutting....I have had short hair for the last 14 years....so this is all new to me

Bambi
August 4th, 2011, 07:09 AM
Buy some length-appropriate hair accessories - things you will enjoy using. I used to twist back sections of my growing out fringe and pin them down with crossed jeweled hair pins (like bobby pins but flatter).

Learn to use scarves. Vist the Style Underground web site, other sites too. You can put a deep treatment or oil on your hair, then tie it up with scarves.

And there's hats!

The more I could put my hair under cover and forget about it, the less I stressed about it, and the quicker it seemed to grow.

I did almost the exact same things when my hair was shorter, I recommend it highly. I used a scarf a lot and tied it in different ways, it was my hairs best friend. Then suddenly my hair had grown without me thinking about it everyday. Good luck:)

junkyschristmas
August 4th, 2011, 07:54 AM
1) Pamper, pamper, pamper your hair
2) Don't cut it, no matter how tempting it may seem. This stage will pass
3) Check out the benign neglect thread (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23540).

sarahbrownie
August 4th, 2011, 08:30 AM
I went through this stage many years ago before the LHC after I shaved my head. It's hard, I know. I spent so many times in front of the mirror in frustration, worse all, I ranted to my whole family about it. Also, I went through so many bad stages especially when all the layers began to grow out. I also did a lot of bleach damage because it was so short it was easier to color, so growing out all those dead ends that I've still been trimming off a little bit at a time at BSL.

There really isn't any tricks I did. It was just hanging in there and being patient. I couldn't wear scarves because of dress code, so I invested in a lot of headbands and jeweled bobby pins to pin back hair. One thing I wish I had 8 years ago was that slouchy beret now in fashion that I'd probably wear everyday if I was hiding my hair. It's so stylish.