to bob or not to bob...

[PhatCatDsn]

Hello everyone...
it has been almost a year since I've last posted here so my profuse apologies for that :{

one of the last experiences I talked about was a mortifying haircut that lopped off something like 6" instead of 1 or 2, leaving my getting-close-to-butt-length hair up to BSL....

long story short (no pun intended) I have had a very difficult time getting the length back, what with slooooooooow growth and the ends still so fragile, crispy and damaged. Every time I would get it cut I would say "minimal minimal minimal" so as to maintain some length...but yesterday I just absolutely had to get a good 2-3" get chopped because of the damage. So, now, after more than a year it's back up to BSL again....

I'm getting so frustrated w/ the slow, slow growth...I take tons of vitamins, eat veggies, fruits, smoothies, take Viviscal every day...MSM, Spirulina, soy protein, etc. You name it, I'm taking it :)

My hubby says just to cut it to a chin length bob...I've had that before and it looked ok, kinda cute, definitely more professional for what I do. But I love (loved) having long hair!

Still, I'm thinking I should just bite the bullet and get the chin-length bob, which is all healthy hair, and start over. sigh.

[jojo]

Hi,
The thing is if you cut to a bob and want to grow, your going to get to this stage again and be frustrated. The good thing is you know you can grow to butt length, so my advice if you are wanting long hair again, is to just put it up and forget about it.

Weekly deep oilings/conditioners will keep it in tip top condition too.

[MsBubbles]

...I take tons of vitamins, eat veggies, fruits, smoothies, take Viviscal every day...MSM, Spirulina, soy protein, etc. You name it, I'm taking it :)
.

I hate to say it if this is one of those 'you name it's - but have you had your thyroid levels checked lately, and are you getting enough iron?

Either way, if you want to go for a bob, do it, I guess! S'up to you. But watch out for an overzealous hairstylist who wants to give you the Posh bob and shave it all up the back of your head! I think the ol' 'think about it for 2 weeks' rule might help.:)

[Sana]

I know that it is frustrating to wait for hair to grow & deal with damage. First thing that you need to asess is what is causing all the damage. Is it something that you are doing to it like straightening or blowfrying or hair accessories or has it to do something with your health?

Second thing you need to determine is if you are ok with a bob. If yes, go ahead & get rid of the damage & try to grow it back again. Just remember that either way you need lots of patience to grow back your hair to where it was.

Hopefully you can find answers that will keep you happy! Good luck!

[Curlsgirl]

Do you think possibly that you are getting it cut more than you think each time and not seeing length because of that? I would measure and then wear it up protected for a while with lots of moisture, oilings if your hair likes them and measure in a couple of months. You could be growing and just cutting it off. I stopped all my trimming at the salon for just that reason and started trimming myself so I would know EXACTLY how much it is. I was doing the same thing as you and didn't realize it. If you want long hair at least give it a try. If you cut to a bob then you won't know. If you love long hair I don't think you REALLY want to cut. Try some suggestions here first. :hugs:

[spidermom]

Since what you most want is long hair, cutting to a bob isn't going to make you happy. What kind of damage are you talking about? Lots of deep treatments and wearing it up as much as possible will keep your hair in as good of condition as possible, and you can slowly trim the damage away. One of our members here was trimming half her growth every month for a long time so that she could gain a little length while slowly getting rid of the damage. It worked well for her. Could you do something like that?

[PhatCatDsn]

I hate to say it if this is one of those 'you name it's - but have you had your thyroid levels checked lately, and are you getting enough iron?

Either way, if you want to go for a bob, do it, I guess! S'up to you. But watch out for an overzealous hairstylist who wants to give you the Posh bob and shave it all up the back of your head! I think the ol' 'think about it for 2 weeks' rule might help.:)

Hi Ms Bubbles,
yep, thyroid is fine, I think my iron is fine :o last time I had a physical anyway :)

[PhatCatDsn]

Since what you most want is long hair, cutting to a bob isn't going to make you happy. What kind of damage are you talking about? Lots of deep treatments and wearing it up as much as possible will keep your hair in as good of condition as possible, and you can slowly trim the damage away. One of our members here was trimming half her growth every month for a long time so that she could gain a little length while slowly getting rid of the damage. It worked well for her. Could you do something like that?

Hi...yes, that's what I was trying to do but I think it was just too much damage and I am too impatient :{

the damage was from way back, I think, from using Sun-In (I know I know I can see everyone cringing!! I don't use it anymore!!) I think the point at which I stopped using it, is grown now to about the top of my boobs...sorry for the lack of class :p

[PhatCatDsn]

Do you think possibly that you are getting it cut more than you think each time and not seeing length because of that? I would measure and then wear it up protected for a while with lots of moisture, oilings if your hair likes them and measure in a couple of months. You could be growing and just cutting it off. I stopped all my trimming at the salon for just that reason and started trimming myself so I would know EXACTLY how much it is. I was doing the same thing as you and didn't realize it. If you want long hair at least give it a try. If you cut to a bob then you won't know. If you love long hair I don't think you REALLY want to cut. Try some suggestions here first. :hugs:

hi curlsgirl,
You have beautiful hair :) I think you and the others here are right to give it the "wait 48 hrs rule" and to also do lots of oilings.

thanks for hugs, feedback and support everyone :)

[lora410]

Honestly since you say you have slow growth do you really want to try and re-grow all that AGAIN? YouR better off growing and having someone you trust to do small trims every now and then. Every time I think of short, I remember all the H#ll I went through with heat styling etc just to make it look good.

[Riot Crrl]

Hi...yes, that's what I was trying to do but I think it was just too much damage and I am too impatient :{

the damage was from way back, I think, from using Sun-In (I know I know I can see everyone cringing!! I don't use it anymore!!) I think the point at which I stopped using it, is grown now to about the top of my boobs...sorry for the lack of class :p

Hang on, if you're cutting to get rid of Sun In, and the Sun In is at boob level, why consider going any higher?

[Garnett]

Right. Cut to get rid of the sun-in and start to love your hair again! There is no need to chop chop to a chin length bob. You obviously really want long hair, so grow! Ya know, give it TWO WEEKS and if you still aren't COMPLETELY POSITIVE that you want it chin length, wait another two weeks. Repeat until you're sure you want it cut, or you're sure you don't. The last thing you want is to think about it for a bit, go get it cut and regret it later. Two weeks kiddo, two weeks. *hugs*

[spidermom]

Definitely don't cut back to a chin-length bob just because your hubby suggested it. He wouldn't let you tell him how to wear his hair, I am sure.

[QueenBea]

This is what I try to remember also---

My hair is past shoulders, damaged, and frizzy-crazy. And I have SO many pictures, esp. right after I had each of my boys and wanted EASIER HAIR and got chin-length bobs that look SO cute. I could be trendy, neat, sleek---

BUT then I remember that even though it was quick, I still had to use serums and a blowdryer with brush and a curling iron; a straightening iron for the best look. It definitely wasn't a natural texture at all. And if I had a bad hair day, there were no other options--very few ways to wear it up. Had to get it trimmed every 4-6 weeks; now I can go 4-6 months, and even then, I'm just getting damage trims.

Yes, my hair looked "nicer" in some ways, but when I REALLY REALLY think about it, it was a lot of trouble. I am starting to see now, even with my hair NOT in the best shape or as long as I want it, that longer will be less trouble in the long run, with updos and air drying.

Definitely wait a while before you lob it off; find some kind of way you can wear it up so the damage isn't visible, and take good care of it for a while. Get a trim every month or two if you have a lot of damage to cut off, and maybe you'll like it better?

Bea


Every time I think of short, I remember all the H#ll I went through with heat styling etc just to make it look good.

[FrannyG]

Thank you for providing more information, so that we can advise you. I'm happy to hear that your health is good. It's a no-brainer that it's the Sun-In that's causing the damage for you. Some people can use it with minimal damage, but I couldn't and clearly you can't either.

I strongly suggest that if you get your hair cut at all, just cut to remove the last of the Sun-In. You will fall in love with your locks again, probably won't be letting your husband know how much it's driving you crazy, and you'll forget about the chin-length bob idea. I suspect he's just telling you to bob it because he knows how unhappy you are with your hair right now. Men love to be able to find solutions to problems. :wink:

I agree with the others. Shorter hair is more work.

Please keep us posted. :flowers:

[Islandgrrl]

If you really, really want long hair, you have to let it grow. At some point, anyway.

You may have damaged ends - lots of us do. Join the Wear Your Hair Up for a Year (or six months) challenge and forget about them for a while! Deep condition, treat your well by conditioning and oiling, and if you must get a microtrim once a month or so.

I wonder if the ends are so damaged that your growth is being eaten up by breakage?

At any rate, think about it. Wait two weeks and see how you really feel about things. If you do cut, just cut to remove the damage and then take a couple of weeks to re-evaluate. You can always cut again if it's what you really, really want to do...but once it's done you can't turn back.

Good luck!

[Tangles]

Bobs are cute, but your main reasons for maybe cutting one are your husbands opinion and to look "more professional." I'm worried short hair isn't really what you want, for the simple reason that it would drastically lengthen your time before reaching end goal. Why not cut to APL and get a couple of layers to help you get rid of as much damage as you can.

[GlennaGirl]

Slow growth is better than no growth. :) I often go through slow growth periods. When that's happening, I don't know when the growth will pick up, but I DO know for certain that if I cut it, I'll be even farther back.

Even no growth at all leaves you with longer hair than a bob. I mean I know that's stating the obvious, but you say you love longer hair.

You also say you did like the bob, so the solution is simple: make a decision either to 1. bob again, and have shorter hair for a good while, then grow again if you ever want to or 2. just don't cut for now, baby it, and let it grow as slowly or quickly as it wants to.

[going gray]

You've got all the terrific advice above from these very knowledgable women, sounds like you really don't want a "bob".

[psvzum]

I think you might be very sorry if you get the bob. As other's have said, determine what's causing the damage and take steps to prevent it for continuing/getting worse.

[Silver Grace]

Speaking from bitter experience here, I say don't cut really short unless you are ABSOLUTELY certain, and this is the two week, plus two more weeks, rule. I am just regrowing after I cut from BSL to a chin length bob and I regret it now! Yes, a bob is a great cut and it looks good, but I miss my long hair! Not to mention missing all my lovely hair toys as well!

My advice - cut off the Sun-In damage, which will still leave your hair long enough to wear up. Then: Think Very Long (ie two weeks) and Hard about whether you want to go shorter.

[burns_erin]

I am growing my hair out from one of those vicious shaved up the neck stacked bobs, so my advice is to not get a bob unless you are getting a bob for its own sake, ie, what you want more than anything else is to have a bob.

I am a big fan of the search and destroy hair care method. It makes me feel in control to say to each hair, you shall stay, or you shall go. Makes me feel happy because I am in control and it is MY choice. But then I am a big control freak.

That being said, while I know many people here are against cones, on the days you feel worst about your hair you might try a cone filled serum to smooth out the roughest patches.

[PhatCatDsn]

Wow..you all have made such salient and wonderful points... :)

-I absolutely admit that the damage has to be from the Sun In, and the ends do seem healthy (and thicker) since the trim the other day
-a bob would DEFINITELY take SO MUCH MORE styling time incure more blowfrying damage
-I also agree, the damage must have been causing some breakage that was slowing/retarding/eliminating rapid growth.

You are all also so right that I need to be patient, take care, do frequent oilings and wear it up...have already started w/ coconut oil light oiling and will start wearing it up tomorrow ;)

thank you so much for setting me straight :)

[girlcat36]

No bob!!
You would really regret it!
I also am a slow grower, besides other hair issues. The best thing I did was getting out of the salon(which was infrequent anyway), and trim my own hair. The stylits ALWAYS cut all my new growth off, even when I asked for 1/2 -1" trim. I am slowly microtrimming my hair; yes, it is aggravating at times and I get impatient, but will be worth it in a few years.

[Chromis]

No bob!!
You would really regret it!
I also am a slow grower, besides other hair issues. The best thing I did was getting out of the salon(which was infrequent anyway), and trim my own hair. The stylits ALWAYS cut all my new growth off, even when I asked for 1/2 -1" trim. I am slowly microtrimming my hair; yes, it is aggravating at times and I get impatient, but will be worth it in a few years.

Self trimming is exactly what I poked in to suggest :-)

Do little trims (easier to keep even anyhow!) and just wear it up for a while and it'll be longer before you know it!

[PhatCatDsn]

No bob!!
You would really regret it!
I also am a slow grower, besides other hair issues. The best thing I did was getting out of the salon(which was infrequent anyway), and trim my own hair. The stylits ALWAYS cut all my new growth off, even when I asked for 1/2 -1" trim. I am slowly microtrimming my hair; yes, it is aggravating at times and I get impatient, but will be worth it in a few years.

Hi girlcat,
after my nightmare 6" cut a while ago, I started cutting my own hair - do you use high end scissors? I used the cheap ones from Walmart and I wonder if they added further damage.