My mother wants to cut my hair!

[catarinalaree]

Today I told my mum about all my plans to growing out my hair and she looked horrified and said no way I would grow my hair that long (going for classic!!!) because where my parents are from and where I was born and brought up, civilized people don't wear long hair. And it's true, if I go back to my part of town you wouldn't see any woman with hair past BSL. People with hair any longer are judged as either being poor or gypsies.

So now she wants me to cut my hair back to APL or something and not let it grow! I think this is so unfair due to the fact she's only doing this to not get on my grandmother's bad side and because she's scared of what people will think of her... It's my hair!

[christine1989]

She can't make you cut it, can she? Maybe you can compromise by saying you will wear it up when you see your grandmother so she won't see how long it is.

[catarinalaree]

True, that would be great. But first I need to figure out how to put my hair up properly. All I know how to do with my hair at the moment is dutch braid it. And if my dad also agreed that my hair was too long, my mum probably would seriously force me! Luckily he's not giving in but he's not keen on my hair either.

[elbow chic]

I agree, learn to put it up and odds are that they'll all forget how long it even is. If it's kept nicely put up, it'll never be in your face (which parents mostly HATE) or look too sloppy or "low class."

And an updo looks ladylike, which parents the world over can't help but love. ;)

[Alaia]

I agree, learn to put it up and odds are that they'll all forget how long it even is. If it's kept nicely put up, it'll never be in your face (which parents mostly HATE) or look too sloppy or "low class."

And an updo looks ladylike, which parents the world over can't help but love. ;)

This.

And, while you can't use the "I'm 18 you can't tell me what to do" line, you can make it clear that you want this and will never let your hair look unkempt and will keep it up if they don't like it.

[catarinalaree]

Like, up everyday? Oh, I somehow always thought that would be slightly damaging. Can you recommend any styles for beginners? I have no clue, I've never ever worn my hair up.

[Alaia]

How long is your hair? I don't think it's 1" long right?

If you tell us where on your body your hair falls we can suggest styles. Buns, braids are usually best rather than pony tails.

It isn't damaging if you don't use elastics for example, but hair sticks, smooth clips, or even the tops off those knee high "pop" socks. Certainly elastics with no metal bits would be better than otherwise.

[spidermom]

Oh, that's too bad. When you're still a minor living in your parents' home, sometimes you have to do what they say whether you like it or not. I certainly did. Wearing it up might get your parents' minds off your hair, and you can quietly grow it long without them noticing. Maybe.

Go to YouTube and search for hair styling. There are lots and lots and lots of options. Also look at the articles section here (on the bar at the top of the page; click on it).

If they make you keep it no longer than a certain length, try to enjoy it, and remember - it's only temporary. You will be an independent adult some day, then you'll miss the times when all you had to worry about was hair length instead of keeping up with a job and bills and your own home and ....

[Alvrodul]

One place to go for inspiration, is the "Hairstyle of the Month" threads on this forum - it give good inspiration to try something new. :D
There are also heaps of instructional videos on Youtube, and there are LHCers (Hypnotica and Torrin Paige are two with a lot of very good videos) who have their own channels there, just use the name of bun you want to learn for searching.
As for easy and quick buns - I would suggest Chinese bun (that is one of my personal favorites), Nautilus bun, Pencil bun and Cinnabun - and the Rose bun - I tend to think of that last one as a Cinnabun done with a rope braid - and it is certainly very pretty!:D

[Vani1902]

If your mother isn't supportive of your hair, then maybe it is best to not tell her about your goals ever. I know that it sucks but if someone isn't supportive than there is no need to let them know. They'll just make your life miserable. Maybe the best thing to do is put it up when you are around her and let her be oblivious to what is going on with your hair. I always have my hair up, so no one ever knows what is going on with it. Not even me. lol
There are many different updos that you can learn. Go on youtube! That's a great resource. Just practice! That is all it takes to master those updos.
I am sorry that you have to go through this.

[catarinalaree]

Haha sorry about that. It says 1" cos that's how long my virgin hair is right now. I'm at BSL and I think like, 24 inches. But that's just my ends.

I have layers which take up a lot of hair and are the fullest part of it and those are between APL and BSL, sorry I can't measure my hair well. I have a lot of layers some of them being as short as shoulder length so even when I braid a lot of hair falls out because it can't reach.

My fringe (bangs) reaches my chin but can't be fully pulled back if in a ponytail. Hope that made sense and can help you help me :)

[elbow chic]

Like, up everyday? Oh, I somehow always thought that would be slightly damaging. Can you recommend any styles for beginners? I have no clue, I've never ever worn my hair up.

nope, nothing is better for your hair than keeping it put up. It protects the hair, especially the ends.

I wear my hair up or braided 98 percent of the time, even sleeping! I take it down at night, comb it out, and braid it for bed. Then wake up in the morning, comb, and put it up for the day. I only wear it down for special occasions, really. A lot of people here do too.

What kinds of styles you can wear will depend on how long and thick it is. :)

[catarinalaree]

Thank you everyone for the advice and tips :) Deeply appreciated

[irishlady]

Perhaps you can come to a compromise? Maybe she'll be willing to see pics of all the lovely and sophisticated updos here, and you could wear it up around your grandmother?

[Maelyssa]

This.

And, while you can't use the "I'm 18 you can't tell me what to do" line, you can make it clear that you want this and will never let your hair look unkempt and will keep it up if they don't like it.

I agree with this as well!

[Arya]

I would tell your mum that you 'rethought' your goal of classic, since it will take you longer than three years to get there anyway (I should think). If you keep it up enough, she probably won't notice until you're old enough that you're out of the house!

I have lots of layers, too. Search around here on the best way to deal with layers and updos, and check out lots of tutorials here and on youtube. I'd encourage you to practice your french/dutch/weaving techniques, as they seem to be able to anchor my layers better than buns, even my longish bangs!

[mrs.bad85]

Here is an answer that you may hate. you may have to obey your mom at one point and get your hair cut but you can think of is this way. You will have more healthy virgin hair for when you can eventually achieve classic length.

And I will second the advice on keeping your hair out of your face and keep it from looking 'messy' (in your parents eyes) that will set them off faster then anything else.

by keeping it in updos you will keep your length hidden and you will one day surprise yourself when the length sneaks up on you.

[discoisntdead]

Today I told my mum about all my plans to growing out my hair and she looked horrified and said no way I would grow my hair that long (going for classic!!!) because where my parents are from and where I was born and brought up, civilized people don't wear long hair. And it's true, if I go back to my part of town you wouldn't see any woman with hair past BSL. People with hair any longer are judged as either being poor or gypsies.

So now she wants me to cut my hair back to APL or something and not let it grow! I think this is so unfair due to the fact she's only doing this to not get on my grandmother's bad side and because she's scared of what people will think of her... It's my hair!

DON'T cut your hair if you want to grow it long.

It's YOUR hair, your body, your life. Your hair is growing out of YOUR head, taking nutrients from YOUR blood to grow. Absolutely don't cut it, because you'll regret changing a part of yourself to please others.

It doesn't sound like your mother has good reasons to want to cut off your hair. Long hair is low class? What?
Just make sure your hair is as smooth as possible, clean and neat. There are plenty of pretty, classy updos you could wear. I have chin length layers, ugh, I can't do anything with my hair.

[pkd]

Haha - if the gypsies have hair like some of the girls on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, I want to look like a gypsy! :D

On a serious note, looking back at old photos I sometimes wish my mom would have given me more hair guidance. Though your mom may have stated her reasons badly, I'm sure she has the best of intentions.

[Alun]

Today I told my mum about all my plans to growing out my hair and she looked horrified and said no way I would grow my hair that long (going for classic!!!) because where my parents are from and where I was born and brought up, civilized people don't wear long hair. And it's true, if I go back to my part of town you wouldn't see any woman with hair past BSL. People with hair any longer are judged as either being poor or gypsies.

So now she wants me to cut my hair back to APL or something and not let it grow! I think this is so unfair due to the fact she's only doing this to not get on my grandmother's bad side and because she's scared of what people will think of her... It's my hair!

I'm not even sure that's true, you know. Perhaps it depends what part of town you are from. Or maybe I'm not civilized, LOL!

I was born in Romford, so perhaps if you are from Knightsbridge or Mayfair you might look down on me and my ilk anyway!

I don't beleive that social standing makes anyone a better or worse person. Nor the length of our hair. It is all about how we behave and how we treat others. And I don't mean having good manners, I mean things like being kind. Also, to paraphrase Topol, it is no shame to be poor, although no great honour either.

I've been poor and now I'm not. I grew up in the suburbs in detached houses, but many of my family still lived on a council estate and some still do. I graduated from university, but I have family that did working class jobs. I'm not better than them, and I'm not even sure I'm brighter.

You shouldn't worry about what other people will think, and nor should your mum or your gran.

[AshleyTheRed]

My fringe (bangs) reaches my chin but can't be fully pulled back if in a ponytail. Hope that made sense and can help you help me :)

I keep my bangs around this length. You can do the little cheerleader poof with bobby pins, buy a clip, or pin them to the side of your head.



My friend's mom looks down on long hair. She said I look like "Gypsy Trash". Maybe she's from where you are? Well anyway, her daughter has long hair now. She blames me. Because I convince people that long hair is in style and demand they have it! NOT I actually like short hair on people!
Anyway I never said anything and in her daughter's wedding picture she's the only female with short hair! Everyone else has at least APL. There are even two men with MBL hair! :lol:

[Lollipop]

When I learned about CO, I was so excited that I told my mom. Not my brightest move. She got pretty upset and basically told me it's going to make my hair fall out. From then on I decided to shut up about hair around her. That was when I was looking into hair care and curly hair styling (before I knew of lhc and went on naturallycurly.com). Anyway, I don't know if she knows I'm growing my hair long (not just growing out the last haircut), or that I still do not use shampoo. I don't talk to her about it and she can't say anything since my hair is always neat and pulled back properly. I occasionally take it down for a few hours and she sees it, but once I hit waist I'm not letting her ever see it down. Some people are just close-minded and it is not worth wasting my breath to argue with her.

P.S. I have been doing CO for the past 2 years and shampooed it only a dozen or so times since then during travel and conditioner shortages. My hair is longer, thicker and healthier than hers. Oh, incidentally, one of my straight-haired sisters that she is very close to sheds like crazy due to bleaching her dark brown hair to white, along with repeated heat styling and keratin treatments. She totally approves of her expensive salon habit (which is far closer to making her bald than my CO).

[kouran]

Today I told my mum about all my plans to growing out my hair and she looked horrified and said no way I would grow my hair that long (going for classic!!!) because where my parents are from and where I was born and brought up, civilized people don't wear long hair. And it's true, if I go back to my part of town you wouldn't see any woman with hair past BSL. People with hair any longer are judged as either being poor or gypsies.

So now she wants me to cut my hair back to APL or something and not let it grow! I think this is so unfair due to the fact she's only doing this to not get on my grandmother's bad side and because she's scared of what people will think of her... It's my hair!

You said in a post you were Portuguese, aren't you? I'm also Portuguese and a long hair and people have never been judgemental to me, nor to other long hairs I know, and I live in a small town, which is more judgemental to different things than a big city. Maybe this has to due with the fact that long hair was quite popular here a decade ago (and the previous decades). The most common reactions I received were compliments about how long my hair was, from little children, teenagers and elder people alike, except from my grandmother, who is a b*tch to everyone :) . Just don't pay attention to their :silly: opinions on hair and cultivate an independent mind! :thumbsup:

[Viechen]

First of all, I know exactly what youre going through! My father 'made me' keep my hair relatively short when I lived at home because he thought long hair was dirty. I learned some nice updos and he stopped complaining... Now Im moved out and he has no more say over what I do with my hair. The fact that I have learned to take better care of it even means that he has complimented how nice it looks before :p
One super-quick 'up-do' I do is with a non-metal hair band. I start out like a normal pony tail but instead of pulling it all the way through I leave a loop. Then I wrap the rest of the hair band around again, each time not pulling all the way through so that, in the end, all of it is up and not floating around... It takes a little practice to do it without making a mess but now its my everyday style cause it takes 2 seconds and all I need is an elastic...
Hope you get things sorted out :) Cheese --> :cheese:

[evan1989]

hey, i agree, you should be able to have your hair the way YOU want it to be, if you want to learn how to put your hair up different ways you can check out torrin paige's videos on youtube, you can also message her with any questions or if you need any advice and she'll help you, ive messaged her before and she's lovely, she is someone that will admire and share your dream of having classic length hair, i hope this helps, let me know how you get on.

[Mesmerise]

Wow... well this makes me glad my parents were reasonable people!

My advice would be to go get a small trim (to convince your mum you're still cutting it) and then wear it up every day so she has no idea how long it's getting!

Also, don't ever mention classic again. And... probably don't mention HAIR again. Just keep her attention off your hair and you're less likely to face issues.

Fortunately there will come a time when you can leave home, grow your hair as long as you like, and wave your classic length hair in your parents' face and they won't be able to do a darn thing about it!

[Night_Kitten]

I agree with the updoes idea - alot of the time out of sight = out of mind, so if your mom doesn't see your length constantly she won't worry about it so much and won't make you cut it...
You can look on youtube for styles you like, and there are also a couple of threads here that might help you with finding styles you like:
The "Hair style dictionary and size chart": http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=10999 and http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=11763
A list of youtube channels by LHCers: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=67956
The style instructions thread: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=8235
And a thread with some more youtube links: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=180

Hope you can avoid the cut :)

[Nae]

I would agree that it is probably not so much the length that is bothering your mom. It may just be that you aren't doing much with it.

I have twin daughters who are 14, and sometimes their hair drives me a little crazy and I am an LHCer. They want it long but don't attention to it; as in, it falls in their plate at dinner, and it falls into the paint when we are painting, ect. Come on!!

They never put it up because they don't like how it looks up, but because it is down it ends up getting more and more damaged. (See the above paint and food stories.) It is now damaged enough at the ends that they probably need a good 2 inches off. *sighs*

If I take them to my Mom's house I get comments like, "Why do you let those girls wear their hair in their face? You should really take them to the hair dresser and give them layers, it would be so much cuter." Blah. If they would wear it up, in a neat style, I wouldn't even have to hear it.

I am slowly tempting them with hair toys but they don't seem to like braids or buns or anything but half ups. Ah well. Lucky for them I am an LHCer but I would imagine that a regular old Mom who wasn't into long hair would be hauling them off to the hair dresser for a fairly short cut.

I thought I would give you a similar situation from the "Mom view." I say, if you can figure out a way to keep your appearance nice and neat your mom probably has better things to do than worry about your hair.

[RitaPG]

People with hair any longer are judged as either being poor or gypsies.
Where I come from, people used to say the same :lol: not so much these days, though.
As far as keeping it up, this is the most comfortable style ever! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vRgZuXse5o I do it all the time, and the small clips distribute the weight so it doesn't pull or anything. I don't use the elastic ponytail, though, I just braid it and put it up.

[Scarlet_Heart]

At BSL, you might still be able to get away with a French twist. Or you could try a figure 8 bun. Or one of my favorites is a french braid bun. It's the style in my avatar. It's super easy, too. Just do a french braid, coil the length into a bun, tuck in the tassle, and secure with a stick/spin pins. Youtube is a great resource for learning styles. I didn't know how to do any hairstyles when I joined LHC a few months ago, and learned how to do so many different ones from youtube. If you need someone to point you in the right direction, I can suggest some videos/channels.

Good luck!

[elbow chic]

are 14, and sometimes their hair drives me a little crazy and I am an LHCer. They want it long but don't attention to it; as in, it falls in their plate at dinner, and it falls into the paint when we are painting, ect. Come on!!

They never put it up because they don't like how it looks up, but because it is down it ends up getting more and more damaged. (See the above paint and food stories.) It is now damaged enough at the ends that they probably need a good 2 inches off. *sighs*

If I take them to my Mom's house I get comments like, "Why do you let those girls wear their hair in their face? You should really take them to the hair dresser and give them layers, it would be so much cuter." Blah. If they would wear it up, in a neat style, I wouldn't even have to hear it.


ha! I saw a girl at the grocery store the other day, her bangs about as long as her mouth and midback-length hair, falling all over her face like a haystack. She was hunched over a phone talking too loud, flipping that hair all over the dang place. It was like she was hiding behind her own personal little curtain.

If I were her mother I'd probably have hauled her down to the hairdressers to at least clean those bangs up if she couldn't keep them pinned away from her face. Made me itch just to look at her. :laugh:

*flip flip* omg, seriously? *flip flip toss* whoa, that's amazing! *flip toss falldown*

[StormVixen]

This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roL-8kqQXOw) is the easiest updo for which you'll only need one hairstick (pencil, paintbrush, spanner, etc. You can make my own hair sticks from small tree branches just cut, de-bark, smooth down [thoroughly!] and oil)

[Arya]

If I take them to my Mom's house I get comments like, "Why do you let those girls wear their hair in their face? You should really take them to the hair dresser and give them layers, it would be so much cuter." Blah. If they would wear it up, in a neat style, I wouldn't even have to hear it.

I am slowly tempting them with hair toys but they don't seem to like braids or buns or anything but half ups. Ah well. Lucky for them I am an LHCer but I would imagine that a regular old Mom who wasn't into long hair would be hauling them off to the hair dresser for a fairly short cut.

I thought I would give you a similar situation from the "Mom view." I say, if you can figure out a way to keep your appearance nice and neat your mom probably has better things to do than worry about your hair.

I can see where they're coming from, a little bit. I'm not a big fan of buns on the back of my head or hair sticks. The LHC look of braids and buns was very popular maybe 10 years ago when I was in high school. Very Lord of the Ringsy looks, smooth buns, and hair sticks were popular so tend to find a lot of the updos suggested to me here it a little out of style, myself. I mostly stick to heidi braids and sock buns, because they're unusual and people seem to really like them. Hair in the face has been popular ever since those side bangs came in, they're designed to annoy parents.

[Peggy E.]

From what I understand, this is not a matter of your parents not wanting hair hanging across your face and hiding your eyes (my mother's complaint when I was young at home and had bangs down in my eyes - how did I do that?!), it is a cultural, possibly religious?, issue with your family.

This is not something easily brushed off. But if you find some ways to wear your hair up, never mention how long it is, or how long you want it to be, around your family ever again, you might be able to ease it through the two or three years until you are an age where they can't force you to have it cut.

In reality, they can always make it difficult for you with their disapproval of your long hair, regardless your age or their ability to physically take action. It sounded like your mother was more concerned about your grandmother's and other's opinions of HER than she really held about your hair.

Consequently, the hiding of the length and no more mention of the length, might be enough to get through - so long as the grandmother and other community members are not aware of the length.

It is important that you live your life as you wish to live it. Unfortunately, we live on a planet with other people who often have expectations they have set on us, whether we like it, accept it, believe in it, or not.

Good luck to you in whatever course you end up taking!

[Peggy E.]

ha! I saw a girl at the grocery store the other day, her bangs about as long as her mouth and midback-length hair, falling all over her face like a haystack. She was hunched over a phone talking too loud, flipping that hair all over the dang place. It was like she was hiding behind her own personal little curtain.

If I were her mother I'd probably have hauled her down to the hairdressers to at least clean those bangs up if she couldn't keep them pinned away from her face. Made me itch just to look at her. :laugh:

*flip flip* omg, seriously? *flip flip toss* whoa, that's amazing! *flip toss falldown*


It worked, though, didn't it? You NOTICED her!!! ;o)

I was always a big believer in choosing my battles - is this really something I want to dig in over and fight to the death?

Something like hairstyle is a temporary expression, and as long as they can see where they're going and not running into things because of their hair, you can figure it will not be like this forever.

Sometimes the kids have to win one of the minor skirmishes in order to back off on the ones that are really going to matter.

[Fairlight63]

I say wear your hair up all of the time so that your parents don't know just how long your hair is becoming. Learn some neat up hair styles. I think that Hedi-braids looks really cute.
NEVER bring up the topic of hair with your parents again! If they bring it up just smile & keep as quiet as you can about it, but then do what you want to do.

[elbow chic]

It worked, though, didn't it? You NOTICED her!!! ;o)

I was always a big believer in choosing my battles - is this really something I want to dig in over and fight to the death?

Something like hairstyle is a temporary expression, and as long as they can see where they're going and not running into things because of their hair, you can figure it will not be like this forever.

Sometimes the kids have to win one of the minor skirmishes in order to back off on the ones that are really going to matter.

makes sense to me. If one of my kids does turn out to be a chronic hair-flipper it'll take all my powers of self control not to chase them down the street with a set of electric clippers. :laugh:

[Nae]

I can see where they're coming from, a little bit. I'm not a big fan of buns on the back of my head or hair sticks. The LHC look of braids and buns was very popular maybe 10 years ago when I was in high school. Very Lord of the Ringsy looks, smooth buns, and hair sticks were popular so tend to find a lot of the updos suggested to me here it a little out of style, myself. I mostly stick to heidi braids and sock buns, because they're unusual and people seem to really like them. Hair in the face has been popular ever since those side bangs came in, they're designed to annoy parents.

Oh yes, I definately agree that many of the LHC styles are not exactly "teenage cool" that is fine with me. But these girls won't even wear a pony tail in 100 degree heat. What the heck?

I only usually bug them about it if they get their hair in their plate at the table and then I just tell them to put it behind their shoulders instead of in front of the shoulders. (It seems a little crazy to me that they don't even notice that "Hey, if I don't put my hair back it will wind up in the mashed potatoes.) Erg.

Also I will bug them if we are doing something where the hair needs to be up to be safe. You know, cooking, ect. Other than that I just let them do their hair thing.

[Cupofmilk]

My mother loathes long hair - she also comments people with long hair look like gypsies which is one of her not so tolerant (could be racist) type things. She has attempted over the years to bribe me with expensive haircuts, money etc....
I always wear my hair up when she is around otherwise she becomes unbearable. She once caught sight of one of my length progress pictures and it sent her spitting mad. Bear in mind I used to be in senior management and am in my mid 30s, yet when it comes to hair she treats me like I am 10!

[Eirelin]

True, that would be great. But first I need to figure out how to put my hair up properly. All I know how to do with my hair at the moment is dutch braid it. And if my dad also agreed that my hair was too long, my mum probably would seriously force me! Luckily he's not giving in but he's not keen on my hair either.

You said it is around 24" with layers. That is where mine is right now. Since you said you can do Dutch braids, you could try a single Dutch or French braid with the tail tucked in at the bottom and hold with a bobby pin or two. I do that a lot because it is pretty easy. Here is a video by Lilith Moon showing how to do that: http://www.youtube.com/wat​ch?v=zSBAqxQCNKk I personally prefer Dutch to French, but since you want less attention paid to your hair, French might be better for you.

You could also try a faux bob; try a Google search for that.

Good luck.

[mallorykay13]

As for doing updos look up some long haired ladies on youtube. They are so good at what they do.

[ladycaladium]

Sometimes we just have to do what our parents want at your age...but I would hold on as long as you can without causing major family drama. As others have suggested, don't mention your hair, learn up-dos and use them. I believe someone mentioned going in for a small trim, letting your mother think you're getting a cut and then wearing it up all the time. Not a bad idea if you can go alone to get the trim. It would also get rid of any damage you have at the ends which might give your hair a neater appearance in your mother's eyes.

I hate to give this advice but sometimes winning the battle isn't worth the war (I forget who said that). If this is going to be a huge sticking point with your mother to the point a horrible arguments and the like, it may be worth the cut. You'll be at the age where everyone is going off to uni in a few (2-3) years and while that may sound like a long way off, it flies by.

I hope it all works out and you don't have to cut your hair! Good luck with the parents. I know family can be a touchy thing.

[celebriangel]

From the perspective of someone who's been in this kind of situation...

Remember, they can't actually force you to do anything. You think they can - it's an illusion they like to foster - but they can't. Okay, they could try to hold you down (I'm betting you're strong enough to kick and scream) or they could knock you out, but that's child abuse and most parents won't. They're much more likely to just get annoyed with you, take away privileges, etc. But in the end, unless you have the kind of parents who would harm you if pushed (and I bet you know already if you have these kind of parents - if so, you know exactly what to do, which is to keep your mouth shut, dig in and survive until you can get the hell out of there. This is what I did.) eventually there's little they can do.

Only do this, mind, if it's really really important to you. What could you do in those three years? Well, most of us on here hate layers, and would like to get rid of them. Could you maintain your length, trimming your growth each month, until you are rid of your layers? In this case, tell your parents you just want to stick with the length you have, and go to the hairdressers alone with a list of really specific instructions every few months. Make sure you find one who listens to you.

If you still wish to grow your hair, I would do this:

-get your butt to Claire's accessories and buy a few pairs of their cheap black hairsticks. They'll do for now.

-Also purchase one set of Goody Spin Pins (also sold in Claire's). With these, you can easily do a cinnamon bun or topknot. This is the easiest thing ever. Gather all your hair in a ponytail, but don't secure with elastic. Twist your hair in one direction till it's a long sausage. Wrap the tube of hair into a bun shape, tucking the ends under. Screw in the Spin Pins - you'll only need two. One starting from the left and the other, a little lower down, starting from the right.


-Learn a few easy styles. I promise you that, even for the clumsy among us *puts hand up sheepishly* there are plenty of easy things you can do. If you are coordinated enough to braid, you can do pretty much anything.

- Start wearing you hair up, or at least contained, all the time around your parents. Don't talk about your hair, don't talk about the way you take care of it, don't talk about your goals. If they're anything like mine, they'll just assume it was a phase and you've given it up now. eventually, it will be forgotten.

- If the subject is raised, remain calm, polite and nonconfrontational. Even - and this is the part I was really bad at - if *they* are being impolite, angry and confrontational.

- If all else fails, agree to go to the hairdressers. Go alone, and get the above-mentioned cut - an inch off the ends so you can grow out your layers. Resume wearing your hair up and don't talk about it. Your parents will think it's all sorted, and will forget about your hair for the next 6-9 months at least, particularly if you don't remind them by wearing it up all the time.

Feel free to PM me if you need any more help, advice, or anything like that. I'm 19, and it's not long since I left home myself. You'll get there :)