extremely damaged hair, help!

[Brenda714]

how do i not give up hope of having long beautiful hair? I have permed, straightened and colored, I don't think one hair is the same length on my head. It has been the same length for 10 months now due to all the breakkage. I have tried the very deep overnight conditioners and oils. I don't want to go pixie, it is shooulder length now. How do I keep up the patience to just let it do what it's going to do? has anyone here had this kind of damage? can you please tell me your story and what you did? I am so sad,,, sorry to rant, but thank you for your kind support. I love LHC so far you have helped me so very much.

[Mairéad]

You can get through this. What kind of routines are you doing for your hair right now and what products are you using? More importantly, have you stopped all the hair abuse?

I have had extremely damaged hair before. There have been time where it has practically melted in my hands. Though I have short hair now (it was by choice) I didn't have to cut my long hair because of damage so you shouldn't either.

[ericthegreat]

You just need to have patience. Growing out your hair to an impressively long length is a journey. There really isn't any other way around it. However, if you follow a good haircare routine (constantly use good moisturizing conditioning products and oils, wearing it up to protect the ends, and limit the amount of heat-styling) as well as exercise and eating a healthy diet, then you will grow the fastest and healthiest hair that your body will potentially grow. Your only other option if you really want much longer hair right this instant is if you go to a salon to get extensions. They won't be as great as your own naturally grown out hair, but it is a great solution if you just have to satisfy that urge.

[Brenda714]

thank you Mairead, right now I just wash and condition using redkken products for dry hair, use a deep condiitioner on occation, and oil it. Yes, i have stopped all the abuse. My hair became thin and almost what I call liquified hair. eek!I just don't know where it is going to stop.

[Mairéad]

Have you considered going CO? I think with your hair texture and current hair health it may be a success. For some cones are a definite friend but for others, myself included, they really got in the way of my hair holding on to any real moisture. If you think that is an option worth trying, always use a clarifying shampoo before starting, to get cones out.

I would look to try new things out like CO or ACV rinses. Read the boards of routines that interest you. I don't know what you've tried but you never know until you do try. If you don't think what you're doing right now is helping, than seek new options.

When my hair was damaged I left it alone as much as possible, only intervening at times to add oil, do a washing, and the sporadic treatment. I washed it as little as possible and kept it up in a braid or bun. A little benign neglect.

[McFearless]

I say keep taking care of the virgin hair and maintain your length at your shoulders until the damage is gone. Once it is you can just let it grow without any worries. Growing out damaged hair is extremely annoying and hanging onto destroyed hair does you no favours. Don't give up and be patient :)

[Brenda714]

ericthegreat, thankk you, yes patience is key isn't it, and thank you for reminding me that it is a journey. thank you for your wisdom, I will do what you are saying about the diet and excercise. this is such a hard time for me with my hair that I feel is ruined and ugly :( I hope to have as beautiful hair as you one day xo

[Brenda714]

hey mairead, what is CO and AVC forgive my ignorance. That benign neglect sounds like exacly what the doctor ordered :) xo

[Brenda714]

McFearlless,, thank you, patience is key.....

[Mairéad]

CO is conditioner only and ACV is apple cider vinegar. There are detailed instructions about both of these on this site. Here's the one for CO http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=2898 One of the responses on the third page give a good run down of what to do.

The rinse is simply a splash or two of apple cider vinegar in a big cup of water, and used after a washing. It keeps the hair follicle lying flat to seal in goodies and keeps the scalp and hair pH a bit more happy, among other benefits!

It's OK. I used to not know what all the letters meant either.

But, I think there is a way to explore new routines while doing benign neglect. I think the important thing is to not give in to the urge to thinking "the more the merrier" and try every single treatment and the kitchen sink all at once.

[UltraBella]

I have to be honest, I am not sure why you are so upset about your hair. It's lovely ! I looked at your recent pics and your hair is longer than shoulder length and REALLY pretty. I like the pic of your natural hair better than the one with the clip in extensions, by far. I understand that damage is no fun and not gaining much length can be frustrating, but you are taking what you do have for granted.

[Blond On Blond]

My hair became thin and almost what I call liquified hair. eek!

You may need a protein treatment. Just remember to use something super moisturizing afterward.

[pink.sara]

Hiya, brenda714.
I have a similar story, my hair was bleached repeatedly to go from black to White and I heat styled it everyday until when I wanted to grow it long again I realised it simply couldn't happen, I cut to chin twice a year apart and then grew from there, 1 year on I have just trimmed away the last of the major damage and uneven ends.
So long story short, I'm now using henna CWC-ing doing occasional overnight coconut oilings and using a vinegar rinse for hard water. I only straighten maybe once a month but it is now the same length as yours.

I think your hair looks lovely in your albums and you don't appear to have much damage at all?! Even if you still have breakage as it only takes 2 years from bald to shoulder I'm sure you could maintain where you are for a few months until those ends are gone.
You're so close to APL and I know it's a pain to be almost there with damage when surrounded by all this gorgeous long hair, but me and you will be BSL and healthy by next Christmas ;)

[Mesmerise]

Well, I agree with Ultrabella that your hair looks lovely! Sometimes we focus so much on the trees themselves that we forget the forest :D In your case, you're looking at individual hairs, maybe how they're split, or how they feel, and you don't realise that overall your hair looks just fine!

My advice would be to keep trimming, trimming, trimming and being patient! Eventually you WILL have healthy virgin hair, but it's not going to happen overnight.

Now, there was a time when I ultimately chopped all my hair off due to damage (it had been permed, straightened twice, dyed, and then permed again :rolleyes:) and I did chop it off! BUT it was literally falling apart after that second perm, and cutting it to shoulder length made it look okay (eventually I chopped it allllll off... but it's not necessary). You can get past this, and you will in time!

[Arya]

liquified hair...does it feel gummy/stretchy? Does your shed hair streeeeeetchhh a lot before it breaks? If so, it sounds like you're more in need of protein than moisture.

[Theobroma]

How do I keep up the patience to just let it do what it's going to do? has anyone here had this kind of damage? can you please tell me your story and what you did? I am so sad,,, sorry to rant, but thank you for your kind support. I love LHC so far you have helped me so very much.

I've looked at your album and I agree with the people who have been saying that your hair is pretty and doesn't actually look as damaged as you say it is. Granted it may not be at or near the length you'd like to have, but your hair is good-looking in its own right. You aren't starting out from nothing!

If you haven't already, you might want to read Nightshade's article on rehabilitating damaged hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79). There's a lot of good information in there on how to grow out extremely damaged hair without actually chopping it all off. And I suspect that the damage she describes in there is worse than what you're dealing with.

As for patience... well, there are no shortcuts to that one, I'm afraid. Growing out even healthy hair is a long-term project, it's measured in years rather than weeks or months, and it's best done by just sitting tight and letting the follicles do their thing. For moral support for that aspect of the journey, you've come to the right place here on LHC, and you could also do worse than to read Janis Cortese's hair pages (http://www.prismnet.com/%7Ecortese/hair/index.html), in which she makes the point repeatedly and quite forcefully that the main ingredient in growing long hair is not so much finding the right miracle product(s) to use than keeping it out of harm's way and not monkeying around with it too much.

Have fun reading, good luck, and take heart. Judging from your pictures you're starting out from a much better position than many other people!

[KatiSasha]

Hi Brenda!

I was exactly where you were a few months back and just like you said - no one hair was the same length on my head it was aso broken all over the place. I have tried everything! But I have settled on the following.

1. To keep my hair moisturized I mostly CO wash with Garnier Triple Nutrition.
2. To add strength I clarify once a week with ION sulfate-free clarifying shampoo and follow with an hour long SMT treatment +cassia: 1 cup GTN (CO above), 1/4 cup aloe vera gel, 1/4 cup honey + 1 tbsp of cassia. I wash my hair and put the mud on in the shower, make sure it saturates through and wrap it in plastic wrap, put a towel on my head and go about my business for an hour. put another towel on your shoulders, it does drip a bit in the first 10 min. Then I rinse it out, slather it in more GTN and keep rinsing. Then I follow with a ACV rinse. My water is really hard, so I use 1 tbsp of ACV to 2 cups of water2
3. To help with growth I've been massaging my scalp with 4 drops of pure rosemary oil, rubbed between my palms and massage it into scalp at night before the wash day. Or really as often as you like if you're gonna wear your hair up. My growth has as least doubled since I started doing that. I need to find my camera and post pics soon.
4. I also lightly oil my length from ears down with coconut oil on DRY hair, amount about equal to 2 drops of liquid, or pea size amount of solid consistency any time I'm going to leave my hair up for the day and will wash the next day.

Anyhow, I now have about 7 inches of really shiny, slippery, strong growth and the rest is still the mess it used to be which I'm trimming off slowly. I am tempted to hack away at it at times, but I stop because I can put my hair up easily at this length, and the damaged ends are protecting my hair. So hang in there, hope at least some of this will be helpful to you. Don't give up! With this routine I've already added 1/2 inch to my ponytail circumference in 3 months :)