Hair colour advice please!

[theodora]

Hi everyone!
I really need some advice on what to do with my hair colour and I thought this is obviously the best place to ask as I trust most of you guys' opinion more than a lot of people I know in real life (funny how forums work like that, isn't it?).
But I want something from you: TOTAL HONESTY. Don't sugar coat it for me please.

As a brief intro, let's say that I am a bit of a colour junkie. Which is why I've never grown my hair past BSL. I change my mind all the time about what colour I want (I have for example gone back and forth between very dark brown and very light blonde twice in the last couple of years). I started dying when I was 12 and have never had a full head of natural hair since. But I have decided that if I want to grow my hair, I might consider going completely natural.

The situation right now is that I have some bleached/lightened hair, which has been lightened various amounts of times with different types of product (some bits have had highlights, some all over colour, some were lightened with lemon or honey). I have some dark ashy blonde roots and I have been doing henna glosses in the past couple of months, 3 in total.
Although I love the colour on my lengths, which is the type of strawberry blonde I have always dreamed of having, I cannot stand my roots. I simply loathe them. For some reason, my virgin roots will not take the henna at all. The ashiness contrasts very drastically with the warmth of the rest of my hair:
http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=8022&pictureid=108435

Some of you might think I'm over reacting, but you have to consider that this photo was taken in direct sunlight (no flash), so this doesn't look as bad as in other lights where my roots look really really dark compared to the rest.

I have agonised over this but have decided to stop with the henna glosses and to use a semi permanent dark blonde dye to try and make my colour more homogenous. The whole goal is to keep using semi permanent over the bleached hair and grow out my natural colour. I bought a semi permanent dark ash blonde colour from Nice n Easy and intend to use it once the henna has faded (which took me a month last time I did a gloss, seems henna doesnt wanna stick to my protein-depleted locks).

Sorry about the super long post, but let's cut to the chase. I guess I wanted to ask you all what you thought because basically I am this person who cannot accept her natural hair colour, but recently I have realised that with my complexion/eye colour etc, maybe my natural colour is actually best? So here is a picture today where you can see my mug:
http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=8022&pictureid=108436
What do you all think? Do I actually suit that strawberry blonde that I have always been obsessed with or would I be better off with my natural colour anyways?

Please be brutally honest, thank you. I literally have no idea what suits me, I can't even figure out which colours to wear in general, let alone make sense of what hair colour I should have.

[Lianna]

If you really hate your natural color, you could try just change the tone with demi or semi permanents (sometimes semi isn't enough). Even if you do have damage prone hair, it would be minimal. Try a neutral dark blonde, or maybe a warm dark blonde on your roots. If you don't like the strawberry blonde, you can try the dark blonde, or ashy dark blonde on the length.

Henna doesn't stick to my roots either, we have the same natural color, and I dye too (neutral dark blonde at the moment which fades a little warm).

[Mesmerise]

I do think your strawberry blonde looks pretty BUT as you said, if you want to grow it then you're probably going to have to stop with the harsh colouring.

Henna is great and conditioning, but if it's leaving your roots looking ashy when you're doing glosses, and you want your hair to look reasonable when growing it out, I think you are best to put a demi permanent over the top to make your length match the roots more.

That way it will be MUCH easier to grow out your hair, as you won't have the two toned look that you don't like!

Looking at your complexion, I actually think a darker blonde would suit you really well, so your natural colour should look lovely when it's grown out!

[kellinaturalmom]

I think that you should go for a light brown myself. You said the henna glosses weren't taking to the roots-2 questions. 1 what kind of henna are you using and 2 did you wash or condition your hair before the henna? If you wash with dish soap (no conditioner) before hennaing it will strip the natural oils from your hair and the henna will take better. Using a good quality henna is important too. Go to http://forums.hennapage.com/
also go to http://www.hennaforhair.com/ to the "mixes" section.
If you love coloring your hair henna is the best thing for you because you can always try new mixes and figure out the best for you. And NOT poisoning yourself or the environment in the process is good too!

[theodora]

kellinaturalmomI have been doing henna glosses with ancient sunrise yemen light with 30% henna 70% cassia and some Tresemme naturals conditioner. I don't think I clarified before doing my glosses. I was leaving it on for 2 hours. It did take fairly well to my lengths, but it could also be that I have done several applications on the lengths (3 so far), whereas it's the first one on most of my roots.

The thing is, I hate going back to a chemical dye. I really wanted to not ever touch a chemical dye in my life and only use henna, but if I want to go back to my natural colour it would be very difficult with henna. I know some people have managed an ashy colour with buxus, but it all sounded very complicated and tricky.

Lianna and Mesmerise, thanks for your encouragement. I'm sure I'm not the only ash blonde who will say this, but all my life I've felt like my natural colour wasn't good enough. Of all the women I know with my colour, 99% of them dye their hair (or highlight). If you go to the hairdye aisle of a supermarket, there are almost no box dyes of my colour. As if no one would ever want to dye their hair this colour (which made it really difficult for me to find a colour matching my own!).

[Nae]

I think that the strawberry blonde looks nice but that those roots are definitely a problem. I would be very tempted to do a semi or demi on the length to try and more closely match your roots. Then you would be good to go for growing long.

I personally think that the ashy dark blonde color is lovely. As a person with very dark hair I have always liked that color very much and never understood why people who have it seem to feel that it isn't beautiful.

[theodora]

It's stupid social pressure I tell you! I never thought anything was that wrong with my hair but then started highlights when I was 12. It was for a wedding. I didn't ask for it though, it was the hairdressers' suggestion. I apparentely needed to brighten it up.
But it's like makeup, you get into the mindframe that you need cosmetic help and that the natural you is not okay.

[maskedrose]

Have you thought about growing out your natural color, but making it a bit more interesting with a few highlights around your face? I've done that off and on for years. My length turns more golden as it gets longer, but my roots start out ashy. I think having a few highlights JUST around your face really helps keep things multi-dimensional and bright. Maybe a good compromise?

[Nae]

It's stupid social pressure I tell you! I never thought anything was that wrong with my hair but then started highlights when I was 12. It was for a wedding. I didn't ask for it though, it was the hairdressers' suggestion. I apparentely needed to brighten it up.
But it's like makeup, you get into the mindframe that you need cosmetic help and that the natural you is not okay.

Lol, well then I will do my best to "socially pressure" you into rocking that lovely ashy blonde that you have growing out of your head! ;) I love that color!!:D

[ange1ito]

I actually like your natural colour ;) and think you would look nice with it and some highlights if you are planning on growing it out. Less stress for your hair too.

[pepperminttea]

Since you specifically said be honest, without sugar-coating... I think the strawberry blonde looks a bit brash on you. It's only my opinion, but I don't think it does your skintone any favours. Sorry! :foot:

Add another vote for ash tones love though; I never understood why so many dark ashy blondes dye their hair, I think it's a beautiful shade. :)

[Anje]

To be totally, harshly honest, I think you've got a cool-toned face and it contrasts a lot with that warm strawberry blond hair. It's not bad, but I think you would probably look better with cooler, ashy hair.

[kellinaturalmom]

Theodora My natural color is light ash brown and I totally agree with you about the social pressure. My mom urged me to get highlights at a young age and I have been coloring it ever since. Now my daughter has dark ash blonde and I always tell her her hair is beautiful! Anyways, I actually have gotten a nice ash brown with henna and indigo and who knows what else because it was like 5 years ago and I'm sorry that I don't remember what I used but it is possible!

[georgia_peach]

Since you specifically said be honest, without sugar-coating... I think the strawberry blonde looks a bit brash on you. It's only my opinion, but I don't think it does your skintone any favours. Sorry! :foot:

Add another vote for ash tones love though; I never understood why so many dark ashy blondes dye their hair, I think it's a beautiful shade. :)

I have to agree with this ^^^. My first thought as I scrolled down to your photo was that the strawberry blonde clashes with your natural coloring. Which, by the way, you have gorgeous skin! I say complement your skin and pretty eyes with either your natural hair color or, if you must, then an ashy toned hair coloring.

[growingpains]

I met my sisters new roommate yesterday and she has a full head of what looks like your natural color, totally virgin. Let me tell you it is stunning. Lighter blonde is glorious, yes, but so too are the darker shades of blond. My personal preference is for hair that has not been chemically processed. For those that have lighter shades of hair, but not super blonde, I love how when it is virgin is takes on this unique almost translucent quality in the light. There is just something about virgin hair that I like, this indescribable quality. I so enjoy how it grows out too and gets natural highlights.

My hair is darker than yours, definitely in the middle of the brown quality, but it is mostly virgin (the last few inches still have dye). It was sooo hard for me to grow it out, especially at first. I wasn't sure if I liked my roots. And frankly, with the length your roots are at it's hard to tell how you will feel about them as they grow out. I generally find hat you need to grow the roots to at least the ears in order for you to tell how you will feel about them.

My opinion is to try natural. You can always go back to blonder later. I think your color is lovely and it will suit you.

Demi or semi is a good idea. Be prepared to have to re-do it though. Also be prepared that demi or semi, while it will help blend your hair, will not be the same as having virgin hair (it might be close to the same color, but virgin hair just looks different and less opaque). Another pointer, if you choose a blond darker than your natural color it will dye your roots darker too, which will making going natural more of a challenge. My experience with semis and demis are they even though they claim to wash out after some time, they don't completely.

Also, a strand test is a must. You should collect your shed hairs and try it out.

Don't know if you would want to do this, but for me, when I had several inches of natural and then my length was this reddy slightly darker color, what I did was buy an ash semi a shade lighter than my natural color and only apply it up to my demarcation line. It helped make the length less red though didn't change the darkness level. Though, as a warning, this could definitely be more tricky since your length is lighter.

good luck!

[Siiri]

I think a bit darker and cooler colour would really compliment your skin tone. I'd suggest growing out your natural ashy dark blond hair colour, or if you want to dye it, I think a cool light to medium brown would look great on you.

[jaine]

Since you specifically said be honest, without sugar-coating... I think the strawberry blonde looks a bit brash on you. It's only my opinion, but I don't think it does your skintone any favours. Sorry! :foot:

Add another vote for ash tones love though; I never understood why so many dark ashy blondes dye their hair, I think it's a beautiful shade. :)

Me too... your skin is cool and pink-toned and the hair just clashes. But your natural color would go perfectly with your skin.

If you want to mix things up you could get highlights and lowlights, but stay in the same tone of colors as your natural hair ...don't try to make it warmer.

PS. Maybe a blue- or purple-toned shampoo could help bring your hair closer to its natural color family?

http://www.minutemagichair.com/images/products/enlarged/12T613-1019T.jpg

[Mairéad]

I also think that the strawberry is too warm for your skin tone. I think the root color is lovely.

[theodora]

Thanks a lot for all the advice guys! I was honest when I asked for your straight opinion with no sugar coating. I did mean it when I said I have no idea of which colours suit me. Although I have ashy hair and a fairly cool complexion, I tend to always go for warmer shades in make-up/hair/clothing in general, just because I find them more cheerful!
But I was sort of getting the impression the strawberry blonde wasn't so flattering on my skintone.

I think I will go the way of using a semi to cover up the lightened ends and keep growing my virgin roots. I am intending on growing my hair to waist for my wedding, which might or might not happen, and for that, I want to be the kindest possible to my hair. That means I've cut out heat styling completely, stopped using sulfates and have been trying to baby my hair. Now I need to figure out how I can minimise damage while using semi-permanent dye...

Perhaps when i have a good length of virgin hair I'll consider highlights again. Highlights did indeed not damage my hair too much, it's really when I started dabbling in extremes (dying dark brown then bleaching at the salon for 4 hours, until I discovered colour B4) that I started seriously damaging my hair.


PS: I just told my fiance about what you guys said and how I've realised I need to stop messing with my natural colour and he said 'tell the people on LHC I thank them for talking sense into you'.

Thank you so much for the support, it's nice to hear people who think that ash blonde is actually a colour and that it is lovely (not mousy/grey/boring like I keep hearing).

[jaine]

That sounds like a great plan to me! :)

[Springlets]

I have an ash color too and I completely agree about the horrors of growing out ash colored hair with brassy dye. I did a demi permanent medium ash blonde only on the dyed length and it made it so much better. The roots blended perfectly and I also got a good idea of what my hair would look like when it grew longer and I really, really liked the color. It wasn't the typical bright blonde color that you see being sported around a lot today, but a lovely natural, unique color.

I also am so looking forward to getting natural highlights and not having to worry about washing my hair too much or staying out in the sun too much for fear that the dye will go brassy.

But I understand about wanting to warm up your ash color. It might not be the strawberry blonde that you want so much, but there are lots of things to naturally add a warmer cast to blonde hair. Chamomile tea rinses, ACV rinses, ChagrinValley Citrus and Chamomile shampoo bar, any kind of blonde enhancing shampoo and conditioner (although my favorite is John Frieda's Go Blonder series).

[pixiestar]

PS: I just told my fiance about what you guys said and how I've realised I need to stop messing with my natural colour and he said 'tell the people on LHC I thank them for talking sense into you'.

Thank you so much for the support, it's nice to hear people who think that ash blonde is actually a colour and that it is lovely (not mousy/grey/boring like I keep hearing).

I agree with this, I think you need to get a semi permanent colour as close to your natural colour as you can. And then grow to waist with your beautiful natural colour:D

[Lianna]

A LOT of natural redheads have pinkish skin...some very white and pink at that. So do blondes...warm blondes. Cool colored people don't have to stay with cool toned hair only, it's all about finding the right shade.

example (http://www.glamour.com/beauty/blogs/girls-in-the-beauty-department/0729-nicole-kidman-red-hair-pink-lipstick-blush_bd.jpg)

[Kathie]

I'm a big fan of natural hair colors. So, I agree using a semi or deposit dye on your bleached lengths to match your roots would be a good option. But be warned you may have to do it more than once- depending on how well your hair holds color.

[Roscata]

I have not read the entire thread so I'm just going to give you options to keep bleaching your hair and maintain the color you want to have with as little damage as possible:
- The uses of coconut oil (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53786&highlight=coconut) for bleach damage protection short version slather your hair in coconut oil, leave it in over night and then bleach over the still oiled hair
- FrannyG's blog (http://www.frannyslonghairstyles.com/haircare.htm) she bleaches her hair and this is where you'll find information about how to care for it such as deep conditioning treatments, ways to wash hair, roots only etc.
- Damaged Hair: Understanding, Preventing & Rehabilitating (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79) again to minimize damage
- Keeping Split Ends At Bay: Secrets of Gently Handling Your Hair (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=8)

Lots of luck! :D

[theodora]

Thanks a lot for the articles Roscata!
I'm going to wait a little longer to figure out what I am going to do and probably do some strand tests with the semi-perm dye I bought to see what it might look like.

[Roscata]

Thanks a lot for the articles Roscata!
I'm going to wait a little longer to figure out what I am going to do and probably do some strand tests with the semi-perm dye I bought to see what it might look like.

You're welcome! :D

[MsBubbles]

Of course I am biased, since this is what I'm doing, but I think with your natural coloring, your natural hair color would look stunning. Especially long. I think that dark ash blonde looks so good with blue eyes and fair complexion, like yours. I have hazel eyes and a more yellowy complexion and of course I hate it :p.

However, it's a long hard slog to get all that natural color grown down, and I for one don't have the guts to chop off the bleach and start all over again! I'd say it's easily a 3-5 year project. Or rather, a case of 3-5 years trying to forget about your demarcation line.

Also...I never was able to get a temporary dye to match my roots because as somebody else has already said, it always looked kind of funky. In my case, the ends had this two-tone effect where in artificial light, they reflected a nice dark ash blonde color, but in sunlight, they reflected green! So I'm just waiting it out. We have a whole thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=51155)dedicated to growing out your own natural color.

Another thing...people with dyed or bleached hair seem to be prevalent these days (and I'm not knocking it, either), so to have natural hair color with all its glorious, multi-faceted reflections, would be something beautiful and rare, in my opinion.

[Joliebaby]

I agree with everyone who says that you should grow out natural.
I'm growing out mine :)
I have ash blonde hair, but to demonstrate how it can look very different on different occasions, here's one pic.. so not ashy looking. Not that there is anything wrong with ash. It's a pretty, ethereal color!

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/picture.php?albumid=5799&pictureid=108506

[TheCaityCat]

Your natural color doesn't look too far off from mine (medium/dark champagne blonde). It took me a long time to enjoy and appreciate it! I've never lightened the color but I've been several shades of brunette (my favorite was chocolate brown with red tones), pink, purple, blue, and even green.

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been imparted by someone else. I just wanted to give you some moral support.

[Gilly]

I also agree that your current length colour does not do your skintone any favours, I am pretty much in the same boat as you, I have got grey hairs, red hairs and the ashy blonde going on at the moment and I am not at all sure about it, I have been dying it to a golden blonde but over the years its looking more and more ashy at the roots so I think I will join you and embrace my true colour, I plan on blending it with a semi colour until I can trim it all off.
I think with your natural colour all over your beautiful skin and eyes will really come to life!
The advice on here is great and there are always people who can help and advise on the best way to do things!:cheese:

[SarahKayfa]

I like the cool ashy tone of your roots with your skin and eyes. I bet it looks so much prettier than you remember. I think it'll really pick up your natural beauty and make you look sparkly.

[jojo]

Although the blonde colour does look pretty, I think a warmer colour like a golden brown or very light auburn would look good on you. You have very pretty eyes and I feel the blonde doesnt do them as much justice as a slightly darker colour would, i also feel a slightly darker colour would suit your complexion better.

[Eolan]

I think you should do what makes you happy! :D Yes, I'm not helping.

I am all for natural colours though, so I think it could be worth a try for you to grow it out. I coloured my hair for many years, and during that time I thought I had a boring, mousy natural colour. Last time I bleached my hair, one of my friends looked at me in horror and said: "What have you done to your hair!?" She later said that she liked my natural colour, and that's when I decided to grow it out, to see what it really looked like. Did a demipermanent colour over the bleached ends, so they blended better and then started growing. Haven't coloured since (this was in 2006). It turned out I really like my natural colour, it is all but boring! Just remember, you can't compare your natural colour with a box dye. Box dyes are so bright and has a completely different sheen to them, they tend to make natural colours look boring, at least roots. But I assure you, your natural colour is all but boring!

But as I said, you should do what makes you happy. :D

[Aveyronnaise]

I think the natural color does fabulous things for your eyes. Also I'll bet you will get some fetching natural highlights as you gain some length as well. So nothing much new just another vote for the natural color.

[amaiaisabella]

As a former color addict myself, part of the thrill was actually doing something to my hair, not necessarily the end result. If you're worried that you'll miss that after you get back to your natural ashy color, may I suggest that you do more deep treatments and/or a gloss so you get the experience of coloring without the actually color? ;)

[theodora]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! I have dyed my hair with the medium ash blonde semi-perm dye this weekend but haven't been able to upload the pics for some reason, the upload keeps failing.
I think I just need to get in a mindset where I just try and stick with it for a bit.
My problem is, I really tend to dye my hair on impulses. Very often because of people on tv (I am easily influenced). There was this time when I was convinced I needed to dye my hair dark brown because of this actress on the show kyle xy who I thought had gorgeous hair.
Tonight while watching true blood I thought again how much I love red hair because of the actress playing Jessica.

It's really silly but I have this thing where typically if my hair is straight I want it wavy, when it's wavy, I want it straight (when it's dark I want it light, and vice versa and so on and so forth).

I'm just awfully inconsistent. The main issue at stakes here is the health of my hair. Now my hair is pretty resilient, especially considering it's fine, and it has soldiered through some awful stuff like combing out dreadlocks, multiple dying/bleaching/colour removing, intense and frequent backcombing, and it has always come back from the dead.
But I feel like it could be so much better if only I stopped abusing it, hence the idea to go natural and just leaving it alone!