I thought my hair is OK but the hairdresser made me cry.

[Henrietta]

I went just for a deep treatment. Special occasion- my brother's wedding, I'm his fiancée's maid of honour. Normally I wouldn't even think about going there. What for? I do trims and treatments by myself for more than a year.

I had a small idea that I'll hear "Wow, your hair is so healthy!" but I thought "No, it's late, I'm the last client, she won't talk much". But this? This made me cry.

There were three hairdressers, including the owner. All young, with bleached hair, lots of cheap jewellery, obviously visiting a solarium regularly, loving parties. They were talking about clothes, one of them even showed her new pants by sliding down trousers. And I heard "f***" three times. Not my style, sorry. They are different than I am, not bad, I know. But let me emphasize the difference of characters and way of living.

Washing- I felt and heard many single hairs breaking. It hurt, needless to say.
Sauna was OK.
During rinsing the sauna products she asked if I want my ends to be cut. I said no, because I grow my hair long. She was surprised and said she feels dry ends when she touches my hair. I said I don't go to hairdressers because they always cut five or six centimetres and it's half a year of growing for me BUT I trim my ends by myself. I didn't see anyone because I had to look up during rinsing, but I'm almost sure they all laughed. She said she'd cut just a few millimetres and I'll be standing, so that she'd be able to cut straight, without layers. She also added that she'll straighten the ends for an even cut. So I said ok. I had no power to fight, I didn't want them to laugh.
She brushed my wet hair. My jaw dropped.
Then she started blow drying, touching my hair with a blowdryer all the time (hot air option) and using a brush with plastic bristles. When a few strands were dry already, the other hairdresser said "What a dry hair! Beautiful but dry" so she replied "Yes. Dry, dry, dry. I'm shocked. It's a shame. Damaged from the half of length down." And she asked me "When was the last time you visited a salon?" "One and a half year ago but..." "Oh, now I see why..." I interrputed "But I cut it myself. Three months ago". Then she said I have split ends at the whole length. And started to teach me. That slits go up and damage hair more and more. And I should apply shampoo on scalp only and spread the foam to the length. My patience ended here. I was not mad, I was sad, I simply almost cry. "I DON'T touch my length with shampoo foam AT ALL." She stopped talking for a while. And then she straightened all my hair. No, not the ends. She straightened it totally. And asked me if she can cut five milimetres, if it's not too much- the only positive element. I agreed. She cut it. And then applied a serum, saying "buy yourself one. It helps, really, and it's not expensive at all". Oh, really? And do I look like someone who econimizes on their hair?
My sister-in-law (well, future one. A wedding is on the 14 August) said "I consider it to be a deed for a social wellness that I brought her to a hairdresser." It was supposed to be a joke but it finished me off. The hairdressers took it seriously. They really think I need a hairdresser to cut my ends.

I feel and see I have about three or four inches of damage at my ends. But I cut it gradually. I don't ignore it.

To sum up, the news were shocking. Totally dry hair with dead ends everywhere? And the way of telling them... Shame? "Dry, dry, dry"? Laughing at me? As if I lived in a forest for all those twenty years and didn't know what scissors are? And maybe television? And electricity? Oh, the electricity went off about ten times. Storms in here.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I have damaged hair and this year and a half of intensive care, treating it like an antique lace didn't help. I want to cry and I'm wondering whether growing has any sense. To classic. Maybe I just have damaged hair, and dry, and there's no point. Cutting and starting over will make me achieving my goal many years later, and I'm almost sure I won't do this. If I'll have to start over, I will stop growing.
I had no idea it's that bad. Does all my pictures look that bad? Honestly.

And here I've got some pics from now. Yes, the ends freshly after washing and drying look dry. Despite straightening and using products. That's the reality probably. This is how much I'd have to cut. I will. Gradually. Normally they become smooth after a few hours of washing, though. Which, still, doesn't pull wool over my eyes. I know the problem. I cut damage off.


http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_004.jpg

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_002.jpg

[kitschy]

That is appalling behavior on their parts. I've NEVER had a hairstylist tell me my hair is healthy. They don't make money by telling you you don't need them.

[C.H.]

I'm so sorry you had this awful experience. There's a reason so many of us avoid the salon. You know you are taking good care of your hair, and as long as you are doing so, there is absolutely nothing to laugh at. If you have some damage toward the ends, big deal. You know it's there and if you want to trim it away gradually or take it off all at once that's entirely up to you. It's not on anyone else's head so if they have something rude to say about it, they can take a long walk off a short pier.

And of course they are going to laugh at and belittle the way you take care of your hair--by caring for your hair the way you do, you are basically rendering them unnecessary, and rejecting them, everything they have been taught about hair, and by extension, their lifestyles. They are just too petty to deal kindly with someone who disagrees with them.

Even though you probably know all this--that they're just jerks, and were way out of line by belittling a paying client--it still hurts. But so many of us have had bad experiences at the salon you're really not alone. And it's not just a long hair thing, sooo many people who are not part of TLHC have bad experiences at the salons and haircut horror stories.

[vanity_acefake]

:grouphug:
I am so sorry you had such an horrendous experience.
My advice: shrug it off.
They all obviously couldn't grow their hair long with all the frazzled bleached hair.
Give yourself a pampering deep condition and forget about them.
:)

[Angel_099]

I think your hair looks pretty good! I'm so sorry they were all so mean to you too (hugs). YOU know you have been taking care of your hair so that's what matters. I think a lot of stylists will tell people they are worse off than they really are just so they can have you come back to them or make you buy some expensive product that you don't really need. I think your plan of trimming a little at a time and taking extra good care of your hair is just fine! You'll eventually trim what damage you have away. Try not to let them get you down...they obviously don't know what they are talking about.

[MsBubbles]

I already left my 'indignant on your behalf' reply on your blog! But let me just say your hair is thick and wavy, to say that you just grew it to waist without much trimming. There's no point straightening your hair because it's plenty beautiful wavy.

Time and again I realize it's nuts for us to go to other people to get our hair done/criticized/opinionated upon. And to pay for it! We are the ones that know our hair the best, not our Mothers, best friends, or stylists. So pooh on those silly little twerps at that salon, frankly.

In a few years' time you will have the maturity to not let yourself be treated that way by anyone, much less someone you are paying.

Don't let those @#$%$#s get you down! What came out of their mouths is absolutely worthless. :grouphug:

[Night_Kitten]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, they had no right to say such insalting things, that was totally rude and out of place!
Honestly, I can't see what those hair dresser were talking about, the last 2-3 inches look alittle dry, but except from that your hair looks good, shiny and healthy :D
If you ask me, they were just trying to make you feel bad about your hair, and make you think you need to show up at their salon often to make it better. I think it's total BS, and your hair is much better off not visiting that salon anymore (just think of the condition of their hair if you need proof) :)

[halo_tightens]

You DO realize, don't you, that they have personal and financial motivation for the things that they said?

By making you feel bad, they're hoping that you'll give them more of your money so they can "fix" all of the problems they invented. From your description of them, they also sound like the sort of people who were getting a mean little thrill from treating you that way. If you cry and feel inferior, they can then feel superior in comparison! I've met them many times, unfortunately. Whenever I see someone coming my way, wearing their "uniform" of overprocessed hair, overdone jewelry, overly-dark tans, over-applied makeup, and overly flashy clothes, I know that I'd better have my emotional armor on! It's obvious that they're willing to go to a lot of trouble to feel good about themselves, and that usually doesn't exclude being hateful to others.

I'm sure your hair is perfectly fine, especially considering how gently you treat it. Those other people you described have very different priorities in life. They can keep them, too. :flower:

[Paranda Belle]

You poor thing. you hair looks lovely to me. Not damaged at all.

Splits don't actually travel up the length more than 3cm- I'm living proof that they don't. Well, at least if you lay off heat. So they don't know what they are talking about.

[ddiana1979]

Pay no mind to bad hairstylists. They'll tell you that you need to cut your hair every six weeks (even if you're trying to grow it out), that you have split ends, etc., etc. Why? Because they don't make money off of people who only get their hair professionally cut once a year.

There are GOOD hairstylists out there. You just seem to have run into really nasty ones.

Your hair looks beautiful to me. If you're concerned that the ends are dry, maybe try oiling or SMT's for awhile. CWC also helps dry hair. You're already doing the right thing by only shampooing your scalp. Don't sweat it. People can be nasty & jealous.

[Zesty]

Oh my gosh! I would have left for sure, no way I would give horrible people like that my money! But I completely understand why you didn't say anything, I used to have a huge problem with being assertive, I just wanted to fly under the radar and not start confrontations (it led to several unhappy haircuts, actually). I'm so sorry this happened to you. :grouphug: Don't take what they said to heart, YOU know your hair, and you know how to take care of it. Because of THAT (not because of a salon), with time all that damage will be gone and you'll have even more beautiful, long hair.

[Peggy E.]

Don't ever go back to that evil hairdresser again! Going to the beauty shop is supposed to be a treat, a gift of pampering care to be enjoyed.

You tell the hairdresser what you want, in short complete sentences to assure they understand exactly what to do, then you relax while the process takes place following your specifications. Period.

I would never, ever go back to that place - and I'd let my future sil know that you were very upset by the rude and calloused teatment received at the shop (insinuating she was involved, without actually pointing a finger straight at her - don't want to start out on a bad foot with the new family addition, even if she was rotten to you!).

Your hair is beautiful and even if it wasn't, no one has the right to steal your self-esteem, making you feel less than good about yourself in any way at all.

Mean, mean, mean. :o(

[Joliebaby]

Oh honey, that was awful of them and as you said, they just have a totally different aesthetic anyway - not to mention way of relating to other people /customers. You hair looks FINE and pretty! It's all natural color and wavy and long, something to be proud of. Maybe you have a bit of dryness at the ends but as you say you are slowly trimming, and you can use nice leave-ins and do oiling to moisturize meanwhile.

Some stylists are just BAD BAD BAD, for example I once had highlights done and afterwards she RIPPED through my newly highlighted WET hair with a bad brush, there so much snapping sounds that I wanted to stand up and yell "stop!" but of course I didn't... She then proceeded to blow dry my hair and tried to get it straight and all those broken, damaged pieces just frizzed up and she kept wondering out loud why my hair did that and even got another stylist to help her get it to lay down smooth -which of course it didn't, they just made it worse with the hot air, way after it was already dry... (And yes, I let them do this too :/ )

These twats were mean to you to boot. I agree, tell your SIL that you don't intend to ever go to that salon again and that they were completely out of line and hateful.

Please don't let a couple of fools discourage you and keep on doing what YOU want to be doing -which is growing long hair!

[Cainwen]

You hair looks beautiful from the pics. I'll echo what others here have said--ignore the stylists. Over the years I've come to the conclusion that unless you find a really good one you trust, 99% of what comes out of their mouths is utter rubbish. I've gone to a salon, have three people look at my hair, one will say "how beautiful! what do you do to get it like this? you really only want the barest trim to get rid of the dead ends", another will say "Oh, your curls are really beautiful, if only it weren't for these 4 inches of dead hair" and another will tell me its totally fried. There's only a handful of people I trust to give an honest opinion about my hair, and out of the dozens of stylists I've tried, I only trust one a) to be honest about the condition of my hair b) to touch it with a blade. If you are happy with it and are able to cut it yourself, more power to you!

[DarkBeauty]

Yes, hairdressers know how to style perfectly, but they don't have any real knowledge of what chemicals do, and don't worry, they are probably jelous because they don't have any knowledge of growing long healthy hair, they just cut hair and wash it basically, and just imagine what they do to their hair..., they are just impatient so they use fake hair extensions. Your hair looks in such good condition!

[Animae]

Just remember, they'll look like rain soaked leather handbags in twenty years with bald patches because of bleach damage.

[boomygrrl]

I was expecting to see ratty hair in your pictures...I really was. Sometimes people can be delusional about their hair...I was trying to give these hairdressers the benefit of the doubt (although I still think they were very rude to you)...
then I see your pics. Your hair looks good.
These women only understand what is trendy and what they've been trained to understand. Maybe you need to trim more, maybe you don't. Hard to tell with those pics.

Split ends need to be trimmed (not a little at a time, but all of it...as it will split up further). I'm not convinced that is your problem though. If you do have split ends that are long, then yes, you need to trim them. If that is the case, they could've told you in a nicer way.

Your hair looks good, actually. Maybe you can find a more objective person, who can examine your hair, to see if it really needs a major trim. I don't trust these women. They sound awful.

[pepperminttea]

I'm sorry you had such an awful time; the way they made you feel is abhorrent. Whether it was bad training or just plain meanness, they had no right to treat you like that.

Your hair is beautiful. Break out the deep moisture treatments and remind yourself why you love your hair. :grouphug:

[curlymarcia]

Cheer up! Your hair looks awesome. I'm so sorry you have such a bad experience at the hair salon. Don't pay attention and keep growing.

[xoxophelia]

I can see why they thought your hair needed a trim. You admit yourself, as I do about my own hair as well, that there is damage that needs to be gradually trimmed off. But they should have been more sensitive to your feelings and desires! You let them know you are having your hair trimmed (with these sorts it sometimes helps to leave out the bit that you do it yourself ;))

However, they went about it all the wrong way. The minute you became uncomfortable was when you should have left. My guess is that they really didn't understand the importance of long hair and gentle handling so thought they would show you the light. Obviously that is very close minded though.

I want to say though that your hair still looks long and lovely. It is a set back but I find sometimes larger trims help my waves bounce up again. I hope you will at least get that positive out of this.

Hope you feel better soon :grouphug:

[RitaCeleste]

Your hair looks good. It looks healthy. I don't see any reason to rush to trim inches off of it. If you keep going to that salon your hair will look no better than theirs. Don't even bother. They knew you wouldn't be their meal ticket anyway. I love your waves, I wish mine looked a bit more like yours. Some people want to iron hair that has any texture at all. Very few hairdresser know what to expect from hair that isn't straight. Your natural texture is nice and if you cut off what you think is damaged, soon the fresh hair may appear damaged to some people. I don't see dry or damaged, I just see hair with a little texture to it. It looks great though. They were rude idiots!

[Anje]

I'm sorry they were so harsh on you. The last few inches do look a bit dry and damaged, but you already know that. And it's your choice whether to trim them all off at once or gradually, not the hairdresser's!

[skara_brae]

Don't ever go back to that evil hairdresser again!

See, I am the kind of person to go back...and talk to the shop owner about how her employees' attitudes has now cost her a customer. Forever. I believe that both very good and very bad service should be brought to management's attention.


Just remember, they'll look like rain soaked leather handbags in twenty years with bald patches because of bleach damage.

LOL! Too true!

[ravenreed]

A lot of it was probably their perceptions. A hair dresser acquaintance complimented my hair and asked what I was doing to it I explained that I CO and S & D and she said, "Oh well, S & D doesn't work." I was thinking to myself, "Well my hair is almost to my butt, so obviously it does."

[jasper]

Yeah. I don't think you need to go to that salon again, anyway.

I had a hair dresser tell me the problem with my hair was that I was too gentle with it. :shrug:

[discoisntdead]

This is why I never go to hairdressers anymore. For so-called "experts", they treat hair really badly. Ripping combs through wet hair, constantly yanking on hair, bleach, blow dryers etc. It makes my scalp hurt just thinking about it.

Your hair looks nice.

[ange1ito]

I'm viewing this on my phone. I think maybe the ends probably an inch or so could do with cutting, but honey you want to see my face framing layers with splits from dye damage i'm still trying to grow out. I think 90% of your hair is gorgeous so I would ignore the majority of what they said. Everybody has minor flaws with their hair don't let it get to you.

[MissHair]

Dont listen to her!!!! Ive been disappointed so many times. Last 3 hairdressers I went to really damaged my hair. Especially the one who spoke on the phone for 2 hours or more, a session that only needed to last for about 30 minutes, she had her phone on her shoulder whilst cutting my hair the same time, taking pauses, ripping my hair with cheap plastic brushes and being generally a b*ch to me. Im so disappointed with hairdressers and their lack of respect!

[punkcatknitter]

You know what, I've seen long horribly damaged hair that desperately needed to be cut and your hair is not it. AT ALL. I can understand being silent in the moment, I had a traumatic experience with an eye doctor that left me sobbing hysterically but when I was in there, I was paralyzed. My advice: If you EVERY intend to go back to a salon again for a trim or whatever (me, I see no point since I can trim my own hair much better in like five minutes), read over this thread and all the other ones here about terrible experiences and read the comments carefully. Rehearse in your head (or out loud) what to do if someone ever treats you like this again and make up your mind to just walk out if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable. They're working for YOU, it's their job to make YOU feel good.

But like everyone else has said, your hair does not look that damaged. I have about that much damage in my hair that I can't bring myself to cut off all at once.

[Slinks]

All bleached and dyed eh ?? probably cut in all weired styles, my (used to be) young stylist had a differant hair style, colour everytime I went in to see her !! needless to say I joined here in Feb and my last visit was in May and I'm NEVER going there again .. why ?? the use of water too hot, washing all the hair, blow fryers, flat brushes and pulling thru a knot just was not my scene anymore, not after the TLC I luvish on my hair .. BUT I will say my stylist said my hair was healthy but my hair is straight ..

ANYWAY the moral of my telling you the above is that everyone goes thru what you went thru, I looked thru your album and you are a wavey .. WTH did she straighten your hair for !! pay no heed to them, do what you are doing, you know what your hair is and you know how to look after it .. are you in the wavey and curvey thread ?

Your future SIL's cutting remark !! hmmmm, is it too late to confront her ?? I would've asked what she was on about ! joke or not she should have sided with you ..

all in all you are only 19 :-) and have a whole life ahead of you to grow gorgeous long flowing locks, I say go for it the LHC way and stuff it up their noses :-)

[ratgirldjh]

I agree with PeggyE. Going to the salon is supposed to be a treat and from the things you were having done (hair sauna? wow) I would think it was a higher end salon.

The times I have been to a higher end salon they treated me like a princess. Wine and cheese, and hot towels and fluffy slippers, the works. Even a head massage during the shampoo session.

I will say that I am probably a great deal older than you and if I was at a salon and immediately did not feel comfortable with the person who was going to do anything to me or my hair that I would just leave.

Next time (if there is one...) pick someone to cut your hair that looks like they would understand what you want and how you will feel comfortable going about it.

You ARE paying for this service. It is YOU who should get what YOU want and feel comfortable while they do it. Don't forget this. :D

[Jenn of Pence]

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, Henrietta! Like everyone has mentioned, you know your hair better than anyone else. No need to worry about what they said, although I know it's hard to stomach. Just keep doing what you're doing, and eventually the damage will be gone and the rest of your hair will be (is!) beautiful and healthy.

I know you trim your own hair, but if you ever go to a salon again, scope around for a stylist who's more professional and friendly to you. They do exist! It just takes communicating first to make sure you're comfortable with them. If you both don't hit it off, leave immediately!

[Henrietta]

Oh, guys, thank you so much for your support... :flower: The real world made my cry and now I'm cheered up. You care so much, though you don't know me... :flowers: I almost felt like I was wrong but you reminded me that they were wrong.
And, really, thank you for being honest and for admitting that I do have damaged ends. It's good to know I can always receive an honest opinion here, in both directions. With YOUR opinion I am almost ready to trim an inch soon instead of cutting half on inch every 3 months. And then maybe another bigger trim to have completely healthy ends.
:flower:

[KLin]

Oh you sweet young thing. You already know how to treat your lovely long locks better then they do. Save your money. Learn to S&D when you find a split, learn to trim your ends yourself or find a IRL friend that you can help eachother. Get a good moisterising routine and slowly take off the little bit of damage to the ends. I am sure that the blow dryer did not in anyway help.

Or you can find a salon that you can go to for a micro trim and deep condition treatment if you like, but go with your hair washed (if you wash). Or see if they use a SLS free shampoo or cone free if that is what you want. Let them know if you want your hair dried or just to air dry. You are paying them, get what you want or do not go.

I had my hair destroyed by a professional at a hair show when I was 19. From healthy and waist length to shoulder-length straw. Took me years in college to get it grown out and the damage cut off and you only have a tiny bit at the ends. I did not know any of the hair care that you know.

I too think you should call the manager. Let them know that you were belittled and shamed before your hair was fried straight. Hope you have a better day.

[RitaCeleste]

My ends always need some taken off too. You seriously don't have any major hair problems though. If it feels drier, just join the weekly deep treatment challenge thread! Dry is fixable. Oil can be nice. But cone serum may not be what you want your hair to feel like. Its not for everybody.

[Henrietta]

About calling the manager/owner- she was there, among those three, so even if I was courageous enough to call- there's no point.

[Macaroni]

They were unbelievably rude to you! Don't pay any more attention to what they said. They'll never understand longhairs, they're trained to cut and color.

Your hair looks good and you're taking care of the damage in a careful way.

Nasty women!

[Slinks]

About calling the manager/owner- she was there, among those three, so even if I was courageous enough to call- there's no point.

this is SAD !! :-( Kylie the owner/manager of the salon I used to go to would NEVER belittle anyone .. that is obviously a very BAD salon and you would be wise to find another "if you intend to ever visit a salon again"

I'm so gald we on the cyber end could cheer you up :-)

[Anje]

Your hair probably didn't feel like it was plastic from an enormously thick layer of silicones and that's why they thought it seemed dry.

Trim on whatever schedule you think is best. You know whether your ends are damaged or not, and whether any damage is bad enough that you need to trim it or if you can baby the hair along for a while yet. It takes a long time to grow out harsh treatment and damage, but you'll get there.

Just make sure your scissors are sharp. There's nothing worse than trying to remove split ends with dull scissors.

[Oldfashioned]

Wow! After reading all this, I am soooo glad my mom taught me how to cut hair and be gentle with it! I second finding a friend to help with your hair.

[intothemist1999]

A stylist hasn't seen my hard-earned cash at least 5 years now. The one I had, I liked. She usually did a good job (except one time the bags were too short) but like all stylists, over-trimmed. I even went in one time *between* visits to show her how long I want it next time she cuts it. Nope, she still didn't learn. Since then, like you, at different periods I've grown out my damaged ends, trimming gingerly as I go, knowing what my long-term goals were.

I now trim when I feel I need it (which isn't often - less for the condition of the ends and more for length) and use Feye's trim method (can get you link) for the times I want to shape the hemline. I've never loved my hair so much as I do now, after 4 years of LHC (OMG, I missed the anniversary, earlier this month!)

In those photos your hair looks BEAUTIFUL!

I can't add anything useful to what the others have already said -- that these people have personal and professional motives for putting you down. That said, it doesn't really make sense to insult the client and hope that she will come back again. So, not only are they small-minded, they are also stupid.

You're well rid of them.

[Mesmerise]

Wow! So rude and unnecessary. I find it amazing they said your hair was all dried and damaged when they had bleached to death hair themselves :confused:. No doubt their damage is all covered up with serums and straightening and blah blah...

Yes, your ends are maybe a bit dry. But I'm sure you'd be aware yourself if you had THAT many split ends and you'd know to deal with them. It's obvious that you care for your hair!

I think next time maybe don't tell them that you cut your hair by yourself. While we at LHC will "get it" many people out there in the real world assume that someone who self cuts must have no money and be some sort of country bumpkin who is worthy of mockery. Of course it's utter, utter rubbish, and most of us self trim because we don't trust the so-called experts to do what we want!! And with hairdressers like those you described, is it really any wonder?!

[prettykitty]

This is why I don't go to hairdressers! They tell me henna is bad when they know nothing about it, tell me my hair is too thin to be long, and try to sell me overpriced silicone serums. Cost ofhairdresser- $30 a visit. Cost of trimming scissors-$40. Knowing I don't have to go through the trauma? Priceless.
Hugs to you, and please never go see these mean ladies again.

[kimberleyju]

I am so sorry you had to go through this! No one should be laughed at for any reason! Could you turn them into the Better Business Bureau?

[Alvrodul]

Such a horrible experience! :grouphug:
From your pictures, I would not say your hair is particularly damaged - certainly not as bad as that hairdresser claimed it was! Now, your ends are fairly wispy, which is not to my personal taste, and they may well have some damage, but compared to the hairdressers' processed-to-death and blowfried hair, I would suspect that your ends were in better condition than their hair! So perhaps it was envy that spurred those comments - or pique that they could not get you to waste any money on coloring or other treatments that were more expensive than what you were there for.

Last time I went to the hairdresser, about a month ago, I came prepared with polite and firm statements that meant "No" - and with my own favorite comb. And I needed both when the hairdresser started to rip through my hair with a brush when wet! :blueeek: Though if I had not made a point on mentally rehearsing those "Please don't do that, do it my way instead" statements it might not have worked out as well as it did.

You were paying for doing a particular job. Only part of that that was the actual trim. Having your hair handled roughly, and doing things to it that you definitely did not want is in my opinion an example of very bad service.
And then they insult you in addition. Appalling! :angry:

[LunaMoon]

I am so sorry to hear that. But no worries, most of them do the same with everybody. I've NEVER had a hairstylist tell me my hair is healthy, they always say me is dry, or is too oily, and I had one that saied my hair was ok but for sure will start getting damaged soon if I din't start using XYZ product. It is not good for their business to tell people we don't need them.
I never tell them I am cutting my hair at home.

I had just one hairdreesser that I really loved, was in china. Funny this one knew better how to deal with my wavy curly, being chinese and used with straight hair than the ones in other countries. I never tried the hairdressers here in france - but a friend of mine says her hairdresser recommends no-poo (CO or WO) to keep hair healthy! Cool!

[lilravendark]

Your hair looks great the ends look like how my ends look and theres really nothing wrong with that. Your hair looks naturally beautiful nothing a salon with women like that could ever produce.

[Kathie]

I went just for a deep treatment.

She brushed my wet hair. My jaw dropped.
Then she started blow drying, touching my hair with a blowdryer all the time (hot air option) and using a brush with plastic bristles. And then she straightened all my hair. No, not the ends. She straightened it totally. And asked me if she can cut five milimetres, if it's not too much- the only positive element. I agreed. She cut it.

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_004.jpg

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_002.jpg
I'm sorry this happened- you just went in for a deep treatment and were persuaded into blow-drying, straightening, and cutting!! :(

I don't think your hair looks too bad- I can see from the bottom pic that you have little frizzes from about half way down- perhaps that's what the hairdresser was talking about :shrug: But hair doesn't grow at the same rate so I think that's completely normal for someone with long hair.
Don't worry about what they think- as you said they're not the sort of people you would want to impress anyways.

[princessp]

Oh no sweetie that is such a horrible story! Your hair looks really beautiful in those pictures. My advice is for you to keep caring for it yourself (stay away from this salon) and try not to let this experience stop you from attempting to reach your ultimate length goal. :grouphug:

[julliams]

I am so sorry you had this kind of experience. It does nothing for self esteem and makes you feel like everything you have been working towards is undone in a moment. Please try not to feel that way and remember how you felt before you entered the salon - you were proud of your hair and felt it was healthy and beautiful.

I just took a look at your album and your hair texture is very like mine. I have had stylists tell me my hair is dry, dry, dry for years now and then they get it to look silky smooth by heatstyling it and putting silicone serums on it.

At the end of the day, if you can learn to love your texture the way it is, you won't want it to be anything else except maybe on occasion a couple of times a year. My last two trips to the salon (since September 2009) have resulted in the stylists telling me I had very healthy hair - something that had never been said to me before and therefore something that really surprised me. The difference? Well, moisture and time are the key.

My hair will always be a little coarser than pin- straight hair. It will always have a rougher feel to it and will never feel like silk unless it's treated with heat and serums. And although I do like that silky feeling, I know that I have my waves because of my coarser hair. If your hair is anything like mine, it will be a mix of some very fine hairs and some very coarse hairs that are wirey. This is what gives it body and holds curl so well.

I have a sister-in-law who has hair that is silky and slippery and feels so light and beautiful in my hands, but she swears she can do nothing with it - it doesn't hold any style she tries and even barettes just fall out of it. So every texture has it's positives and it's problems. Her's looks smooth and sits nicely, but she calls it fine and limp and has trouble keeping it in any kind of updo.

The biggest moisture infusion for me has been weekly SMT's and coconut milk soaks. I was doing SMT's on the weekend and then mid-week, I would use lite coconut milk and saturate my hair with it, leave it for about an hour (while I went for a walk) and then wash and condition as normal. I found it made a huge difference to my hair over time. I know you have said you have been babying your hair for a year and a half, but I think if you can do treatments once or twice a week, oil it once it's dry and trim it every 4 - 6 months, you will get to keep your length as well as keep it as healthy as possible.

Stick with your plan and learn to love your hair the way it is. Those stylists measured your hair against how they make all hair look - flat-ironed and siliconed up.

Many times I have told stylists about silicones being in products and they have always responded by saying that "yes, those are in supermarket brands, but here in our salon...." and then go on to tell me all about how their products all use high quality ingredients" Then when I ask to see the bottle, I can immediately see silicones within the first four ingredients. And when I explain that they are in their products they look at me in disbelief, like I have no idea what I'm talking about and I'm some radical that's over-analysing things.

Even at my last hair appointment, she did listen to me and decided to give me a serum that was all "organic and vegan". Ok, well fine - show me the ingredients. First two ingredients were silicones followed by a nice list of organic sounding things. But primarily, it's silicones. Needless to say, my hair felt very coated and wierd for the next couple of days and I've been using clarifying products ever since trying to get it back to normal. That was 3 weeks ago!!!

Another thing that I have found recently is regarding scissors. I purchased both of my hair scissors from supermarkets or pharmacies. I spent no more than $15 on any one pair and I was S & D'ing almost every other night. My hair went from having not one split end that I could find in late 2009, to having splits all over the place in early 2011. Yes, it's time and old hair but it could also have been somewhat due to my scissors. What if every time I cut a split, it just re-splits because my scissors did a poor job of cutting? The stylist told me her scissors were $1000 scissors. She told me that hair is cut on an angle like you would cut a flower stem to preserve the hair (????? didn't make total sense to me but there it is) In any case, surely you can't compare those expensive scissors to my $15 pair right? I don't know if this is really the case, but I'm planning on leaving my hair alone now - ignoring the splits and I'll get it cut again in about 6 months and see what the difference is.

I hope you are starting to feel a little better about things.

[dulce]

Your hair is lovely! Like you, 1 am growing my hair long and slowly cutting of my ends as 1 go.I do oil my ends each night before sleep and it's really helped my ends stay moisturized.The more you do yourself and the less you go to salons the better off you and your hair will be.There are a lot of other horror stories here about salons and 1've had my share also.There are good stylists out there but you have to search them out carefully.Like in any profession there are good and bad. Long hair[blunt ends] is so easy to cut,wash,condition,why pay someone else big bucks to do what you could do better yourself? Try and put it behind you,there are mean women out there,that's life.

[Fairlight63]

I think that your hair is very pretty! Don't let them get you down about your hair.
I think that they were trying to sell you a bunch of things to fix your hair, or thinking that they wanted you to cut your hair then you would be their hair slave and have to come to their salon every few weeks to get your hair dyed, permed & trimmed.

[summerjade]

Your hair really looks great, very lovely. Hairstylist want you to need them. They ganged up on you and were terribly critical. I am sorry you had to go through that, because it was a horrible way for them to treat a paying customer.

[goldenmoments]

Bardzo skoda. :cool: they're just missing out

And of course trying to get more business, although ironically...they just lost a customer.

[embee]

Horrid experience, for sure. :(

Never go there again. It's your hair, do as you wish with it. You like it? Ok.

Ignore those other people who want to make money by doing things you don't like.

[Mesmerise]

And... does anyone else see the irony that they're giving her some sort of "hair treatment" presumably to make it healthier and in better condition, and then they go and straighten it, thus damaging it??!!

Of course, they're then gonna try and sell her stuff to "fix the damage" but sheesh...

If you DO decide to go to a salon choose wisely...look at the hairdressers there and if there are some with naturally long hair, then definitely go to them over those who are chopped and bleached! (Not saying a good hairdresser can't have short hair... because they can...but when you've got one with long hair you KNOW that she's more likely to understand your own desire for long hair).

[long&blonde]

I think your hair is beautiful. And i'd bet anything your hair has & will, turn more heads & get more compliments than the stylists' hair ever will! That's the craziest part of salons; you go in quietly,politely for a sevice,to get insulted by stylists whose hair you think looks like crap;but you'd never say it. I always wanted to reply "I would yske my hair over yours anyday!" But of course I don't. I think your hair looks healthy & gorgeous.

[elbow chic]

Bah, hairstylists. You know, I quit going when I realized that the local Pentecostal ladies have way nicer looking hair than the officer's wives, who spend so much more money at the nicest salons getting highlights and fashionable cuts. I think leaving hair pretty well alone looks a lot nicer than whatever they're doing to it in there.

[jojo]

oh what a horrid experience you had, the women sound so unprofessional too. Ive had this too, I dont go to hairdressers no more as I always come back depressed. For the record, i see no damage in your hair, just beautiful shiny hair, take no notice. Heck what do they know anyway?


You should have told them to use the shampoo to wash their foul mouths out and give them the recipe for a good old SMT to sort their hair out!

[Tigermama]

Those jerks! Your hair is beautiful, don't listen to them at all. It is really upsetting that this has happened to you, and that your family says things like that too. My family is the same way. My sister talked me into having my hair done for my wedding. The stylist tore through my curly hair dry and ripped out giant snarl balls of hair. She treated my destroyed hair as if it was some disgusting filthy thing ruining her brush. Makes me soooooo mad! Whatever you do, just believe in yourself and block out anyone who tries to impose their beliefs on you. How very rude of them!!!! Man, I wish I could give them a taste of their own medicine.

[teal]

Hearing stories like these always makes me want to storm the place with a megaphone in one hand and a buzz cutter in the other... shame and retribution.

Fortunately for me the worst I can recall was the girl who combed my hair with such force that I left the salon with a sore neck and a headache. Your experience was far worse - no doubts there - but try to look at the bright side: at least you still have your hair! Your hair is NOT bad! :)

[LoversLullaby]

I'd just like to reassure you and say that your hair is beautiful. So pay the hair dressers no mind. What they said was horrible, mean, and SURELY not true.

[clairenewcastle]

Your hair looks beautiful.

Please don't get upset by what they said to you. I've had so many bad experiences at hairdressers I'm not surprised by what you said. Suspect there were two motivations for their behaviour - money and jealousy.

[kidari]

I'm apalled at what they did to you. Nobody ever deserves to be treated in that manner. I just can't believe it. I'm so sorry that happened to you : ( those people are horrid. I'm sure they treat a ton of people like that constantly from reading your story. In the end they will just drive business away really.

[eezepeeze]

Oh, Henrietta, I'm so sorry you had such a terrible and sad time. They totally ruined what you thought was going to be a fun time of pampering.

Your hair is beautiful. I've always thought so. Don't be discouraged. The last time I was at a salon, the stylist was very ignorant of dealing with curly hair and insisted on blowing it dry and brushing it out. I left there with a huge bush on top of my head.

You have come so far and your hair is healthier than a lot of other people's, even here.

Hang in there!:flowers:

[Ermine]

Yikes. You'd think that the first thing hairstylists are taught is that they're doing CUSTOMER SERVICE. I thought it would be common sense to be nice to your patrons, regardless of how "bad" they think their hair is. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

That makes me wonder how my next professional haircut will be like (within the next few inches, I want to get my hair cut into a more defined bob so I can tolerate letting my hair alone). Luckily I've found a very good nice hairstylist, but I haven't had a haircut since I joined LHC. Now I'm probably going to have a lot more hair control issues. For example, I wouldn't want my hair styled so it only looks good straightened, I don't want highlights anymore, etc.

[Vani1902]

Ugh...those women sound like catty little highschool girls...Pay no attention to them. They just want to make money off you. Your hair is gorgeous. Why would you let bad hairstylists with a tacky fashion sense affect you? Don't give them that power. From your description, they sound like rude people with no proper education. Blow it off girl.

[Blond On Blond]

Tlenione solary? Yeah, I know the type :D
I personally think there is nothing wrong with a hairstylist diagnosing your hair and giving advice, as long as she/he is POLITE. A good hairstylist will point out the good stuff before criticizing, and will never try to talk you into doing something you obviously don't want.
Laughing at a client? Unacceptable. Forget about the incident and enjoy your hair. No use crying over opinions of a few mean witches.
Hugs to you! :grouphug:

[owlathena]

Your hair is beautiful! I'm sorry they acted like that. :flower:

[auburn]

Your hair is freakin' GORGEOUS. We all can see that and I bet YOU KNOW IT.

learn to defend yourself, with whales you man the harpoons. Same thing with sows like those women. I see you're young... dear, life is like that, full of mean and stupid and envious people.

You know, since I was a kid I moticed one thing about those around me: THE MAJORITY HAVE A SPECIAL SENSE TO FEEL WEAKNESS. They spot the weak point like sharks smell tiny traces of blood in the ocean. And they exploit it if you let them.
They abviously saw your gorgeous hair and thought it would be fun to make you feel bad.

MAN THE HARPOONS !

You know, stupid people won;t change their ways with you unless you defend yourself so agressively they'll preffer to be tortured anally with raw chilli rather than risk to have to fight with you! :)) You might think I'm exagerating, but believe me, IT WORKS.

With polite people you act polite. with sows you know... the harpoons baby!

sending a hug! take care

[PorkChop]

You really should have just spoken up and put a stop to it all, man id have gone crazy if they done that stuff to me and laughed at me, id have turned into the incredible hulk, bursted out of my shirt or something

[FoxRain]

I'm so sorry you had to endure that.

Your hair looks perfectly fine to me. Hairdressers (and most non-lhc) seems to think that constant hair cutting and serums are some sort of miracle cures that'll make your hair look like something straight out of a loreal ad.

Cutting your own hair and putting oils and such in your hair seems to spell out dirty hippie to most people and you might as well tell them you cure colds by swinging a dead cat over your head at fullmoon.

Honestly it's your hair and you know it best. I know how hard it can be to just tell hair dressers to keep their opinions yo themselves, especially when they make you doubt yourself. But just stick to your guts and ignore them.
The customer is always right, remember?

Next time (if there is going to be a next time) just remember to know exactly what you want before you go. If you have the least bit of doubt it's easy for them to sway you and then it's better to stay at home.

Kiss and hugs from here :grouphug:

[Jezerellica]

Hope you are feeling better now, after that horrific experience. Your hair is beautiful and you needed none of that!! As others, I will share one of my last experiences at the salon. My stylist was ripping through my wet hair. It hurt and I said aloud, "Owwwww, it doesn't hurt like that when I do it", in a whining humorous tone. She responded by showing me her fine tooth comb, saying she guessed I did not use a comb like hers...Duh. I just said, "Well, leave some hair for me". :rolleyes:

[Plumeria]

It is hard to hear such things. But in my opinion there are only two possible reasons for their behavior. 1. They just want to get more money from you if you listen to them and come again next month. 2. they are just unbehaved little b****es who have fun in beeing rude to people.

I can just repeat what others said before me: Your hair is gorgeous! Go on your on the rigth way :D

[skraprchik]

Henrietta, I just looked at your album photo and your hair definitely doesn't look damaged. It does look overly straightened though. That stylist clearly overdid it. I hope you've given your hair a good deep treatment since then.

[Rebecca.1905]

((HUGS)) I would've walked out. Is there anyone you can report them to? That is incredibly unprofessional and inappropriate behavior and they ought to be ashamed of themselves!

I swear, I get so sick of people who don't appreciate long hair and the care and love that goes into it. Just because it's not for you doesn't make it bad! Gah!

Your hair is beautiful and it absolutely IS worth it to keep doing what you're doing! Ignore those awful, awful women and try to move on. Anyone who would treat another person the way they treated you obviously has big problems.

[theodora]

I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience. I would have been extremely distressed as well. But I'm sure you're aware that this is how their business works and if they didn't guilt-trip you into feeling bad for your hair, they wouldn't get you to spend more money in their salon!
There is nothing fashionable about horrible trendy haircuts on over-processed hair. Do not let them make you feel dowdy or plain, your hair is beautiful just the way it is.

It does not look overly damaged at all. You're doing the best thing you can do for your hair, going the LHC way. Using lots of cone-filled serum and heat appliances might make your hair look really smooth and glossy and shiny. I used to literally live on Moroccanoil and blow-drying. It hid away my damage. But now that I've stopped I can see damage and deal with it accordingly rather than hide it.

[woolyleprechaun]

Morons. Simple as that. Your hair is gorgeous, dont let those rude individuals tell you otherwise:(. Ask yourself this- did you like any of these womens hair? Dress sense? Obviously not, so its a matter of opinion. If someone wearing an orange and purple fur coat and a green mohican said 'hey, love your shoes!' you'd instantly think 'god, are my shoes that weird?' and not be flattered at all.......sorry to anybody dressed like my poor example, Im not picking on you...:)

[mellie]

They were extremely rude, and bullies too!! I am sorry that they treated you that way.

The truth is that your hair is lovely, you know how to take care of it, and you don't need them at all! :flowers:

I too had a bad experience at the salon. It was stupidly expensive too. When they shampooed my hair, they piled it up on top of itself (tangles, hello???), then dragged a comb through, breaking hairs all the way. I said "OW that hurts" but they didn't care. They bullied me into dyeing my hair, and when I felt it burning my scalp, they said "That's because you had coffee this morning" (HUH??? I don't drink coffee or ANY caffeine at all!!). The chemical smell of the place was awful, and how fake-looking all the staff and clientele looked was terrible. When it was over, I wanted to cry too. I paid the bill (which was exorbitant), then went home and just cried my eyes out (and I'm not a "cryer"). I swore off salons from then on.

I had arrived there with long, beautiful, totally natural hair, which looked sooo much shinier and healthier than anyone else there, and I left with broken, damaged hair, burned scalp, feeling ugly, depressed, angry, and ripped off!

[dulce]

Auburn,love your comments! well said.1 guess age makes us braver,in my early 20's 1 would not have the courage to say anything in that situation but now,definitely!

[Crystal2010]

If their definition of healthy is bleached, straightened and covered in serum then I say let them keep it! Last year when I went to my hairdresser to get a trim before my wedding she said wow your hair looks healthy. I told her no heat, no cuts and using CO wash. And you know what she said? Yep, 'you can't use conditioner to wash your hair!' There seems to be a general view that unless hair is flat ironed to within an inch of its life and has some shine enhancing product slapped on it then it's not 'normal'. Ignore the narrow minded fools, your hair looks great.

[GoddessLocks]

That sounds awful! Dont let them get to you, your hair is beautiful. All those hairdressers ever want to do is cut cut cut! Ive only run into a few who questioned me when I decided to get a drastic cut, and that was because they had long hair too! They told me they could never cut their hair and wondered why I was cutting (just wanted change). So anytime I need to go to the salon im going to look for someone with long hair themselves. Its a rare find, but its worth it because they understand.

[Of the Fae]

What a foul way of treating your customers! I've had stuff like that said to me as well, once I told my hairdresser that I used EVOO to moisturise my hair, and she looked at me sheepishly and replied: "But that's just fat", and I know for a fact that hairstylists are being taught that henna destroys the hair from the inside out! (I know people being trained for the profession)
So this kind of proves the lack of knowledge about anything besides chemical treatments and cutting.
However, one of my relatives runs a salon, and I have had really good experiences with her! I'd say go to a salon with good quality people, and not some bleached blonde, cursing, tanningbed visiting hairwrecker ;) The attitude these days seems to be that hair should be treated with as many chemicals as possible to stay healthy, but if this were true, nobody would have had beautifully long hair untill the industrialisation age! Just ignore them:) Trim your damage out gradually and don't be bothered by them laughing at you. It is your hair, and you pay thém to work for you.
Good luck:)

[lorigirle]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I completely agree with the people who have already replied. This always happens to me when I go to the hair salon. The hair stylists say my hair is too thick and that using heat on my hair prevents dryness! That is just their way of making money and they believe they are doing you a service. My best advice is to treat your hair yourself and only go to the salon when you really need a professional treatment. You are the only person who really knows your hair and it looks gorgeous!

PS: The same thing happens to me with my makeup, it always looks better when I do it than when a makeup artist does it. Keep up the good work!

[lapushka]

Some hairstylists are real gems, and a credit to their profession. You just ended up with the wrong one(s). The atmosphere in the salon might have clued you in some, but... well, you just *never* know for sure until they start handling your hair.

I guess there's lots of us here with terrible experiences, including me. At first you don't quite know how to react. It gets better, though. Either trim it yourself from now on, or go to the salon knowing you cannot let them walk all over you. You're the paying customer, what you say goes, not that you have to be discourteous about it, but don't let them mess with you either.

Why not have someone you know cut it for you, or try Feye's self trim (someone can do that for you as well). Don't let a stylist you don't trust cut it ever again! It could have ended in disaster. Luckily, it didn't. So... there's that. At least there's that!

Your hair looks just fine to me, a tiny tad fairytailed, but it looks just fine! And there's nothing whatsoever wrong with trimming it gradually.

[terpentyna]

I went just for a deep treatment. Special occasion- my brother's wedding, I'm his fiancée's maid of honour. Normally I wouldn't even think about going there. What for? I do trims and treatments by myself for more than a year.

I had a small idea that I'll hear "Wow, your hair is so healthy!" but I thought "No, it's late, I'm the last client, she won't talk much". But this? This made me cry.

There were three hairdressers, including the owner. All young, with bleached hair, lots of cheap jewellery, obviously visiting a solarium regularly, loving parties. They were talking about clothes, one of them even showed her new pants by sliding down trousers. And I heard "f***" three times. Not my style, sorry. They are different than I am, not bad, I know. But let me emphasize the difference of characters and way of living.

Washing- I felt and heard many single hairs breaking. It hurt, needless to say.
Sauna was OK.
During rinsing the sauna products she asked if I want my ends to be cut. I said no, because I grow my hair long. She was surprised and said she feels dry ends when she touches my hair. I said I don't go to hairdressers because they always cut five or six centimetres and it's half a year of growing for me BUT I trim my ends by myself. I didn't see anyone because I had to look up during rinsing, but I'm almost sure they all laughed. She said she'd cut just a few millimetres and I'll be standing, so that she'd be able to cut straight, without layers. She also added that she'll straighten the ends for an even cut. So I said ok. I had no power to fight, I didn't want them to laugh.
She brushed my wet hair. My jaw dropped.
Then she started blow drying, touching my hair with a blowdryer all the time (hot air option) and using a brush with plastic bristles. When a few strands were dry already, the other hairdresser said "What a dry hair! Beautiful but dry" so she replied "Yes. Dry, dry, dry. I'm shocked. It's a shame. Damaged from the half of length down." And she asked me "When was the last time you visited a salon?" "One and a half year ago but..." "Oh, now I see why..." I interrputed "But I cut it myself. Three months ago". Then she said I have split ends at the whole length. And started to teach me. That slits go up and damage hair more and more. And I should apply shampoo on scalp only and spread the foam to the length. My patience ended here. I was not mad, I was sad, I simply almost cry. "I DON'T touch my length with shampoo foam AT ALL." She stopped talking for a while. And then she straightened all my hair. No, not the ends. She straightened it totally. And asked me if she can cut five milimetres, if it's not too much- the only positive element. I agreed. She cut it. And then applied a serum, saying "buy yourself one. It helps, really, and it's not expensive at all". Oh, really? And do I look like someone who econimizes on their hair?
My sister-in-law (well, future one. A wedding is on the 14 August) said "I consider it to be a deed for a social wellness that I brought her to a hairdresser." It was supposed to be a joke but it finished me off. The hairdressers took it seriously. They really think I need a hairdresser to cut my ends.

I feel and see I have about three or four inches of damage at my ends. But I cut it gradually. I don't ignore it.

To sum up, the news were shocking. Totally dry hair with dead ends everywhere? And the way of telling them... Shame? "Dry, dry, dry"? Laughing at me? As if I lived in a forest for all those twenty years and didn't know what scissors are? And maybe television? And electricity? Oh, the electricity went off about ten times. Storms in here.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I have damaged hair and this year and a half of intensive care, treating it like an antique lace didn't help. I want to cry and I'm wondering whether growing has any sense. To classic. Maybe I just have damaged hair, and dry, and there's no point. Cutting and starting over will make me achieving my goal many years later, and I'm almost sure I won't do this. If I'll have to start over, I will stop growing.
I had no idea it's that bad. Does all my pictures look that bad? Honestly.

And here I've got some pics from now. Yes, the ends freshly after washing and drying look dry. Despite straightening and using products. That's the reality probably. This is how much I'd have to cut. I will. Gradually. Normally they become smooth after a few hours of washing, though. Which, still, doesn't pull wool over my eyes. I know the problem. I cut damage off.


http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_004.jpg

http://i881.photobucket.com/albums/ac16/GwiazdkaNadia/20110721_002.jpg

Sweetie, You hair is great, it's their job to tell you it looks damaged if they are not good enough to just keep their clients. My sister went in for a trim and the stylist kept rambling on about how damaged her canopy is, only to offer her some crappy keratin stuff at the end... I avoid salons, especially in PL. Like I keep an extra long radius as opposed to other countries.

In the end you're the one who can tell if damage is serious enough to get rid of it. Just keep growing it. I have crappy ends as well, I want a blunt hemline eventually, but I want to grow it out first so that my updos don't suffer.

[RitaPG]

That third paragraph would be enough for me to get up and leave. It was obvious that their lifestyle was different from yours, but they are rude and nobody has to put up with that.
And the whole "dry, dry, dry" comment? Well, after breaking your hair while washing and getting the dryer next to your hair like that, what else would you expect? And that sister-in-law of yours isn't much better for saying such a nasty thing.
I understand about damaged hair, I'm growing mine out too, and I also cut mine gradually. FWIW I think your hair looks fine, the ends are a bit thin, but it doesn't look ratty or ugly, au contraire, your hair is very pretty.
What you need to do is shrug it off, never go back there, and find a nice, POLITE stylist that will listen to you and respect your wishes. Salons have to sell their products and convince you to go back, but they're not all bad :)

[cuddledumplin]

That's one reason I just do things like that myself. The last time I went to a salon was for my wedding just under four years ago, and one of the stylists (two worked on my hair) kept making comments about the length of my hair and the width of my face. She put this weird roll thing on top of my head that I didn't ask for because I have a wide face, and she literally tied my hair in knots. It took me ages to get my hair down, and I know I broke some of it off taking out the knots.

Don't worry about it. Your hair is gorgeous.

[McFearless]

I'm sorry :( They were being really rude. Think about it this way, you say you have damage on the last few inches and it seems to me like that is what she was referring to. You don't have to wuit any of your hair goals because of a few people. They make their money off your low self esteem. Thats how they sell all those products. Ignore them.

Your hair looks very healthy to me so obviously your hard work is not for nothing. Keep at it!

[Eire]

I've had a hairdresser begin a conversation by commenting in amazement by how healthy my hair was, and finishing the conversation with how I should own a hair straightener. She gave me a strange look when I say I don't blow dry my hair. Maybe there's a connection, hmm? haha

But no, if you manage to find a hairdresser who isn't running you through the assembly line, then keep her! I tried for 5 years to grow my hair out and it actually got shorter over time with visits to the salon. A lot of times they cut my hair into shoulder length, layered 'do that requires lots of upkeep (despite my request for "as little cut as possible... maybe 1/2 inch"). Then, voila! I had to go in more often to keep up the style, and they made more money. It's a business, like anything else. I wouldn't take it personally.

[citadel]

Ugh, this is why I refuse to go to salons these days. One of my friends is a celebrity hair stylist and I've let him style/trim it a few times before going out on the town (when he's offering it for freeee), but that excluded, I haven't gone to a salon in 7 years. I can't stand them pushing me around and trying to force me to try different styles. Even for my sister's wedding (for which I was the maid of honor), my cousin's wedding (bridesmaid), and my own, I just did my own hair. All of my friends are the types of girls that can't go a month without going to the salon for a wax, trim, and manicure, but I completely shun myself from it. I'm sorry you had that experience.

[tinywife]

If I saw you on the street, I would turn around to look at your hair again. It's beautiful and long.

[Maelyssa]

What a terrible experience but don't give up on your own hair because of what they said. If you look up the article by Nightshade in the Articles section it tells you all about her own story of growing out damage little by little. She made it all the way down to tailbone.
Also another member Emichee grew her hair from about brastrap length all the way to classic while slowly microtrimming damage. The key being little trims at a time & preventing damage by treating it gently & wearing it up as you grow out the damage.
Sure, one big chop works to get rid of damage instantly but many members here have proven that you can grow out damage slowly but surely.

Your hair looks pretty good. I just wanted to let you know that your idea of trims & growing does indeed work & there are members here that prove it.
Good luck!

[Darkhorse1]

My hair dresser respects my choices, and once she said I had a lot of breakage--it was a rather shocked expression---but she brought to my attention what I knew--I'd been slacking off on my hair care and using the wrong hair elastics (coated, but I'm now using terry ties or soft types so there is no breakage). I found LHC shortly there after.

Damaged hair is damaged though, but only YOU should be the one to decide when to cut it. Not a hair dresser and certainly not someone who is laughing at you!!! or being rude!!

There are products--both in stores and natural, that can seal split ends to prevent them from going up the shaft.

I never found micro trims worked. Hair is not all 1 length, so you can only trim the splits you see, and since we have over 300,000 hairs on our head, there are probably a lot of splits you are missing.

I know it's hard to hear negativity and it's hurtful. (((hugs))). I'm sorry you had this experience. :(

[noelgirl]

Your hair is beautiful, and I really hope you don't take their Mean Girls behavior to heart. Their insistence on treating you like some kind of feral child shows that they are the ones with a narrow worldview, and frankly, it's bad business. One thing I've observed working in retail is that if you sell someone a shirt that lasts, they'll come back and buy it in every color. If you sell them something flimsy? They're not coming back at all, except maybe to get their money back. Their behavior would be like me bullying someone into buying a hideous, poorly made outfit that doesn't even fit. Except worse, because you have to wear your hair every day.

[christine1989]

The salon I go to is just like the one you described- super trendy with unprofessional jackasses who find it alright to straight up insult you and your hair. The only reason I go is because the guy I see there is the exact opposite- knowledgable, respectful and actually helpful when it comes to growing my hair out. I'm echoing everyone else when I say your hair is lovely and it is the type of hair I would stop and admire if I saw it while out and about. :)

[maborosi]

The hairstylist I used to use (I haven't gotten my hair cut in almost a year) was quite honest with me- my hair was beautiful and soft and shiny, and thus made it difficult to do what I wanted to with it. Alas, now I love my hair the way it is and don't need to overstyle it. She's a great haircutter, though- my mom always goes to her now :3

Sorry to hear your experience was so bad :( I think your hair is really pretty.

~maborosi~

[SakuraBlossom]

I understand how you feel, is 3 years already i care my hair myself, and the last time i went to a salon i also got sad and mad because of some comments about it: is dry, you need to cut, buy this treatment and put a few extensions to give some volume....! it was for using extensions that my hair was in such bad conditions!! Now thanks to henna, avoiding heat as much as possible and other sweet treats my hair has flourished again and getting longer and longer.

[hibiscus]

Your hair is pretty. They were unnecessarily rude and tactless, and must have been exaggerating the extent of the damage judging by your pictures. They just want you to think you need to spend money on their services. I think your plan to gradually trim away the damage is very sensible. What horrible people. This is why I never go to salons.

[Spring]

:grouphug: your experience is a warning for us all.... their attitudes were completely out of line.

[Dolly]

So sorry that happened to you!

I have a fabulous hairdresser, who has hair past BSL herself. Even though she often uses a flat-iron, highlights, and uses chemical dye on herself and other customers, she never pushes those services on me. She always compliments me on how well I maintain my hair, and how healthy it is. She knows that I go in to see her only 1-2 times per year, because I self-trim, and she is ok with that.

I agree that, while that particular salon sounds horrid, there are good ones out there!

[SwordWomanRiona]

Don't listen to them. Honestly. That is exactly why I have not gone to a hairdresser's since Primary school, because they actually did more damage than good to my hair, using horrible brushes, blowdryers and such, and because they always cut off a LOT more than I have asked for. They didn't understand about me actually growing my hair long. They also laughed and thought that long hair was something gross and dirty and that it meant neglect. For me, going to the hairdresser's was a punishment, something not dissimilar to having a blood test made, until I refused point-blank to go again.
Many people have a few inches of hair at the ends that are not 100% healthy, it's natural. It does not mean total neglect. The last inches of my hair are rather split, but I do as you do, I try to make them healthier steadily (S&D, gentle brushing and detangling, oils, no heat for the length, microtrims,...). I don't go for the usual hairdressers idea (there are good hairdressers too, of course, but all I have encountered were not), that is, chop all the relatively damaged length off, so they would tell me the same they have told you. And that's utter nonsense.
We all know you do care for your hair, and your pics in your profile are very beautiful, your hair doesn't look 'unhealthy and dry' at all. With a few microtrims you should get rid of the damage to your ends :)

[prosperina]

This is one of the reasons why stylists get a bad rap: they sometimes don't respect other people's aesthetic preferences. It's insulting to assume that everyone who opts for a style that isn't "stylish" or "fashionable" is ignorant of style and fashion. We all are so inundated with media images--it's quite clear what's stylish and what is not, but does it occur to the style facists that some of us are just opting out? I mean I get that I'm not trendy. I mean DUH. That's the whole point! :D

[dolphin]

Just ignore them. From my experience, all the hairdressers/hairstylists I have gone to (with the exception of two) were manipulative and just intent on money-making. They definitely did a lot of damage to my hair, which I am still disgusted about. I now get a friend to cut my hair. Pay them no mind, your hair looks perfectly healthy to me.

[Gypsygirl]

Oh sweetie...don't let small minded people drag you down. Just because they like styled, colored and what not hair doesn't mean that nothing else can be beautiful. Some people just can't appreciate the differences in us all...sad. You have naturally beautiful long hair...and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, whether they like it or not. And...I agree with everyone else here. They were trying to get you to buy lots of expensive products that- of course- they sell at their salon. Hold your head up high, Henrietta- and enjoy your hair. :)

Oh and here's a tip in case you need to go to a salon again. Do some research and find a hairdresser whose style appeals to you. If she has short, colored, very styled hair she probably won't understand about your needs. Maybe even try to see a male hairdresser. Judging from my own experience, they are usually a lot more open and honest but without flattering you in an awkward way. I am lucky- my hairdresser at home is also a friend of mine- but when we are on tour, I try to either get a stylist I already know- or it has to be a guy. Iron-clad rule. LOL

[Lollipop]

What baffles me the most about these stories of horrible hairdressers is the fact that the whole point of going into a salon is to pamper yourself. I mean, it is your hair, so you have probably noticed that it may not be cut and styled in the trendiest way possible, so why do they feel the need to put you down and berate you for it? It doesn't seem like an effective marketing strategy.

Whenever I've gone for a cheap haircut (bestcuts, mastercuts, etc.), the stylists have always been appropriate and professional. When I've sprung for a nice salon, like what the OP's is supposed to be, the customer service was always vary warm and accomodating. My stylist listens, compliments me on what I am doing right, gives suggestions if necessary, and makes me feel pampered. I mean, their job is to provide a service and an atmosphere. I do not understand how they can possibly imagine that their behavior is appropriate and suitable for a business.

[chopandchange]

Don't worry; this is normal. Hairdressers ALWAYS told me my hair was crap and needed this / that / the other thing doing to it. Just don't go back. Ever. Carry on doing your trims yourself.

[Sweet Beat]

Don't listen to them. Looks like they're just trying to make you feel bad so they can sell products to you :( Your hair looks great!

[Amber_Maiden]

I am so sorry this happened to you. The entire time I was reading your post I just kept getting madder and madder at the hairdressers. What a situation! The las time I went to a salon they asked me if I "colour" my hair. I told them no because I didn't want to get into the whole "henna is BAD" debate. But they kept asking, and then told me I needed a HUGE trim and a mask... and I said NO because I don't like non-organic products in my hair. This was at Aveda (Can't I mention the place??). They told me they did have organic products. I told them I still don't like chemicals in my hair. They then LIED TO MY FACE saying that there were no chemicals in the products. Really. Parabens, I am sure, are not natural. Neither is SLS. Just thought I'd share... brought back that memory (sorry to the mods if I went out of line, I have no idea if I can say stuff like this or not..).

[swearnsue]

Oh Henrietta I'm so sorry that happened. Your hair is very beautiful! Some girls are just mean to other girls and don't feel the "sisterhood" among women. They may have been jealous of your pretty hair too. They probably were so they ganged up on you to hurt your feelings. Take care of your pretty hair like you have been, it is working!

[SkinnyCookie]

It's what my father calls "long hair envy". I'm getting it from several people.
Apparently, girls can't stand girls with longer/better hair than they do.
Also, the modern/fashionable/designer women out there love to belittle others, especially those who do them one-up. Your hair is fine! They're just spoiled snots. Anyone who'll pull down their pants to show off their underwear is short in the braincells department anyways, why do you care what they think?
You should have made fun of their over-processed hair, or if that looked good, their over-processed butts. That would have done it right over.
:liar:And if you go to a salon and you don't like how they treat your hair, order them around a little. tell them to comb your hair, not brush. You're the one paying, you decide what happens?

[Loviatar]

Henrietta: find a new stylist. Shop around. I did, and now I have David, who is awesome and understands my needs and wants. He never pushes anything on me. His salon understands henna and has recently gone sulphate-free for those clients who want that service. He lets me use my own comb and comb out my own wet hair, and he will rough-dry on cold shot for me or even send me home without blowdrying if I want. He is fabulous. (For those UKers in his area who may be interested he is at Human Salon in Uxbridge)

It took a me while to find him but it was worth it.

Also, I'd write a letter to the rude salon's manager explaining you felt bullied by the stylists there. Nothing to lose by letting the seniors know what's going on.

Pamper your hair for a bit to make yourself feel better. Your hair doesn't look dry to me.

[Rusticular]

Hairdressers tend to be a sneaky bunch. I remember going in as a student model to a 'high fashion' salon in town, and being sat down by the head hairdresser. "Why would you want to grow your hair that long," he said. "It gets ratty and disgusting." I almost turned around and slapped him. There was nothing wrong with my hair, at ALL(this was before I found LHC, but I'd always been quite anal about mah locks). Just as there's nothing wrong with yours. They want business. You'd NEVER hear a hairdresser speaking in that manner to a regular customer with legitimately fried hair.

Your hair looks lovely, and there's no need to cut the whole lot off. Keep on doing what you've been doing, and don't dare think you have to lop it all off because some idiot wants more business.

[Lady Malys]

Oh, I am so sorry you were treated that way ... I can only imagine how you felt in the midst of it all. Your hair is gorgeous and I would love to have it right now! And I have to agree with the others: they have a financial incentive to make you think you "need" their help, and many people build up their own ego by trying to crush someone else's. ((HUGS))

[Curly Hermione]

Don't worry about them, one look tells you they know nothing about proper hair care, they clearly thought they looked good, which just shows you how they have no sense about hair.
Please don't let them bother you! Your hair is stunning.