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MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 07:03 PM
Hi! I'm trying to grow my hair out and I'm in a desparate need of advice. I know I've done horrible things to my hair before, and I regret it so much, because now it's just becoming impossible to be gentle with my hair and help it grow. My biggest problems are splits and tangles. And I don't know if it's split hairs tangling up or just tangles that cause damage no matter how gentle I try to detangle them... I trimmed 1,5 inches off but that didn't help much probably because I have layers and now I've lost some length and still didn't solve the problem. I tried S&D, but I think I've cut so many splits off that my ends have become even thinner than they originally were and I still have so many left(((((( Please help, I don't want to cut any more hair than I already have!

ange1ito
July 19th, 2011, 07:23 PM
I'm not sure if it will help you but I used this:

http://www.heshherbal.com/product_info.php?cPath=53_57_59&products_id=71

I had major damage from bleach and permanent dye on the ends which were constantly splitting. Even with coconut and evoo I found it difficult to stop the splits with all the deep treatments I was doing. I tried this one as I had heard positive things about some of the herbal stuff. If you are avoiding cone's it would'nt be one for you but the site has a list of the ingredients too.

McFearless
July 19th, 2011, 07:32 PM
Do you use cones? They help me a lot with tangles. I also keep my hair in a braided updo and that makes it much harder for the hairs to move around and knot.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 07:37 PM
That's very interesting ange1ito, thank you for your advice. I've been cone-free for 2 months now and I don't know if it's a good idea yet because my hair looks better without cones but tangles are much worse. I saw mineral oil in the ingredients and I think I've read somewhere that it could be bad for hair? I don't know, I guess if it works it works, I'm ready to do anything to help my hair plus I love new products, so I guess I'll give it a go))

Sundial
July 19th, 2011, 07:44 PM
What McFearless said about braided updos to minimize tangles is a good point! Some of my hair idols like Madora detangle their hair gently and put them into braids to keep their hair contained as well as to minimize tangles.

Another point I noticed with my hair is that most of my tangles were caused by lint. When I examined each tangle, I always find a speck of lint right in the middle of the tangles. I also noticed that splits/kinked ends always get the rest of the hair strands tangled so I'm ruthless when it comes with S&D, every single split/kinked end I find gets snipped off.

I understand what you mean about thinness and uneven ends from overzealous S&D - I used to be self-conscious about mine and I still feel that way occasionally, but I realized that taking length shots tend to help keep things in perspective because we usually tend to think that our hemline is worse than it really is. For the longest time I would feel that my hemline is raggedy but when my DH took a length shot for me, I realized that it was quite straight despite months of S&D without proper trims!

It might also help to look at inspiring pictures in the fairytale end thread, a lot of them have such gorgeous hair that worked well with fairytale hemlines. Those pictures got me through a period of no-trim when I started getting paranoid about uneven ends :D

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 07:46 PM
Hey, McFearless! I just stopped using cones 2 months ago, and I'm not sure if it was a good idea. Maybe I should try and go back to using them. I just don't know how to use them properly so they don't build up. would i have to use sls shampoo every wash or just every once in a while? and would i be able to keep using oils or would that become unnecessary since cones seal the moisture in? and what type of cones should I look for? would dimethicone in my conditioner work or do I need to look for something different? Sorry for a lot of questions, I'm just really confused)))

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 07:50 PM
1. Patience

2. TLC

No more heat or chemical dyes for you!

Lots of people like the snowymoon moisture treatment, aka SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128). Occasional (not to often) deep conditioning with olive oil, coconut oil, etc. I like the rub avocado in my hair and leave overnight, it gives oil as well as protein.

My hair is bleached and dyed and the #1 thing that helped me get my texture back was henna. Your hair is pretty dark. If you're ok with the dark red color you could try that, otherwise don't because it's super permanent. It does thicken the strands. Cassia also has the same benefits with temporary yellow color (wouldn't show on your hair) but like the color, the conditioning effect isn't permanent and wears off in a month - still might be well worth it for your ****ed up hair.

You might also consider henna+indigo, since your hair is already quite dark. This is permanent tho. If I was you I would consider doing henna+indigo just on the ends of my hair. Both henna and indigo significantly thicken the strand of hair and add strength and protection, which save it from mechanical damage like splitting and breaking off.

My hair was not splitting, but it was really grossly dry and crunchy in some places from the dye. I believe it's the henna that fixed it up. I did 2 treatments of 50%henna 50%cassia, and 1 final treatment of 100%henna, as well as stopped shampooing... Now my hair is soft again, and curls right.

Lay off the shampoo, stretch between washes if you can, do conditioner only if you can. The shampoo detergents can dry and damage ends. Read the articles in the beginner section here for various shampoo options.

Brush your hair gently and only when it's dry. Detangle with a wide-tooth seamless comb, or I prefer to use my fingers. You are curly so you probably don't really need to brussssh, just detangle.

Wear your hair in protective updoes (buns and braids) using claw clips or sticks, NOT ponytail holders which wear at the hair.

If you want to go all out, you can get a satin pillowcase to sleep upon.

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 07:52 PM
PS your hair is realllly beautiful and it's about the same length as mine and about the same amount of damage... Think how pretty our hair will both be in a year, and in two years! :)

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 08:01 PM
What McFearless said about braided updos to minimize tangles is a good point! Some of my hair idols like Madora detangle their hair gently and put them into braids to keep their hair contained as well as to minimize tangles.

Another point I noticed with my hair is that most of my tangles were caused by lint. When I examined each tangle, I always find a speck of lint right in the middle of the tangles. I also noticed that splits/kinked ends always get the rest of the hair strands tangled so I'm ruthless when it comes with S&D, every single split/kinked end I find gets snipped off.

I understand what you mean about thinness and uneven ends from overzealous S&D - I used to be self-conscious about mine and I still feel that way occasionally, but I realized that taking length shots tend to help keep things in perspective because we usually tend to think that our hemline is worse than it really is. For the longest time I would feel that my hemline is raggedy but when my DH took a length shot for me, I realized that it was quite straight despite months of S&D without proper trims!

It might also help to look at inspiring pictures in the fairytale end thread, a lot of them have such gorgeous hair that worked well with fairytale hemlines. Those pictures got me through a period of no-trim when I started getting paranoid about uneven ends :D
I love updos for keeping hair out of my face and tangle free, but for some reason I just don't like the way my face looks when my hair is up... weird, i know. So whenever I go out I have to take my hair down or else I feel self-conscious...
I will check out the fairytale ends thread, seems interesting))Many thanks for making me feel better about S&Ding))))

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 08:24 PM
1. Patience

2. TLC

No more heat or chemical dyes for you!

Lots of people like the snowymoon moisture treatment, aka SMT (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128). Occasional (not to often) deep conditioning with olive oil, coconut oil, etc. I like the rub avocado in my hair and leave overnight, it gives oil as well as protein.

My hair is bleached and dyed and the #1 thing that helped me get my texture back was henna. Your hair is pretty dark. If you're ok with the dark red color you could try that, otherwise don't because it's super permanent. It does thicken the strands. Cassia also has the same benefits with temporary yellow color (wouldn't show on your hair) but like the color, the conditioning effect isn't permanent and wears off in a month - still might be well worth it for your ****ed up hair.

You might also consider henna+indigo, since your hair is already quite dark. This is permanent tho. If I was you I would consider doing henna+indigo just on the ends of my hair. Both henna and indigo significantly thicken the strand of hair and add strength and protection, which save it from mechanical damage like splitting and breaking off.

My hair was not splitting, but it was really grossly dry and crunchy in some places from the dye. I believe it's the henna that fixed it up. I did 2 treatments of 50%henna 50%cassia, and 1 final treatment of 100%henna, as well as stopped shampooing... Now my hair is soft again, and curls right.

Lay off the shampoo, stretch between washes if you can, do conditioner only if you can. The shampoo detergents can dry and damage ends. Read the articles in the beginner section here for various shampoo options.

Brush your hair gently and only when it's dry. Detangle with a wide-tooth seamless comb, or I prefer to use my fingers. You are curly so you probably don't really need to brussssh, just detangle.

Wear your hair in protective updoes (buns and braids) using claw clips or sticks, NOT ponytail holders which wear at the hair.

If you want to go all out, you can get a satin pillowcase to sleep upon.
Oh, it was more than just heat and chemicals... I was using sls shampoo, straightening the hell out of my hair, backcombing, brushing with a cheap brush, using hairsprays EVERY DAY!!! Plus monthly dying which for some strange reason made my hair feel so nice and healthy afterwards... I've stopped all that right after I read an article on here about the damage all that stuff does to hair and am now trying to love my hair the way it is.
I've tried co-washing and unfortunately it made me shed like crazy, so now I'm using an avalon organics shampoo, which I think is gentler than sls shampoo. I try to do deep treatments about once a week. I will try the avocado treatment you were talking about since I have an overripe avocado sitting in my fridge)))) I'm thinking about doing the henna+indigo mix, because I used do dye my hair dark brown, i'm just scared about the permanent part in case it doesn't turn out right))))) Thank you so much for your support, your hair looks really beatiful too and I love the colour!

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 08:59 PM
I think the color of hendigo turns out lovely on pretty much everyone.. Have you browsed the hendigo thread (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21272)? The only thing with hendigo is, not only is it pretty permanent, but you can NEVER bleach it or use chemical dye afterwards, as it will turn mucky green forevs. There have been reports of successful lightening using honey treatments, but it requires to do the honey treatment repeatedly.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 09:07 PM
I think the color of hendigo turns out lovely on pretty much everyone.. Have you browsed the hendigo thread (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21272)? The only thing with hendigo is, not only is it pretty permanent, but you can NEVER bleach it or use chemical dye afterwards, as it will turn mucky green forevs. There have been reports of successful lightening using honey treatments, but it requires to do the honey treatment repeatedly.
I just looked at the henndigo thread and I wanna say wow! Some gorgeous colors!!! I think I'm convinced)))))))

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 09:08 PM
Don't forget to do a strand test! Maybe on a lock from the underside of your hair. And let it develop for at least a week.

Unless you're feeling sassy... I went to do a strand test when I first got my henna/cassia, then I just did my whole head :P It turned out nice.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 09:11 PM
what do you do with the mix while the strand test is developing? can you just refrigerate it? or do you just make a tiny bit of a mix first?

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 09:23 PM
You should make just a tiny bit.

If it was henna, you can make it all at once then freeze it, but you can't freeze indigo so I would make just a bit.

Dry henna powder can be stored in the fridge, then once you dye-release it in liquid, store in freezer.

Dry indigo powder should be stored somewhere cool and dark, and added to the henna at the last moment (it doens't need to dye release). However it won't last well more than a day so you will have to add it again to any henna you save.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 09:28 PM
Thank you so much whitestiletto for sharing your knowledge, I will definitely try this out! This seems like a great idea i will improve my color and make my hair healthier at the same time! One more question: what is the best site to order henna from?

whitestiletto
July 19th, 2011, 09:44 PM
I personally order from hennasooq.com, a lot of people also order from mehandi.com.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 10:22 PM
I will order it as soon as I can, I'm so excited!!! Thanks for your help!

McFearless
July 19th, 2011, 11:36 PM
Hey, McFearless! I just stopped using cones 2 months ago, and I'm not sure if it was a good idea. Maybe I should try and go back to using them. I just don't know how to use them properly so they don't build up. would i have to use sls shampoo every wash or just every once in a while? and would i be able to keep using oils or would that become unnecessary since cones seal the moisture in? and what type of cones should I look for? would dimethicone in my conditioner work or do I need to look for something different? Sorry for a lot of questions, I'm just really confused)))

Hmm.. does your hair get build up quickly? Think back to before you read all the things about cones on here.. did your hair manage fine without them?

I think maybe you could benefit from them. Tangles lead to breakage and you really don't want that. Maybe look for coney conditioners without mineral oil. When my hair is tangled I use Pantene Ice Shine conditioner or Garnier Fructis Damage Repair conditioner. That really helps. I think the Garnier one might have protein btw.

Does your hair like oils? I don't see why you'd have to stop using them. Coconut oil and olive oil can penetrate the strand and even if you do use cones I don't think they can block the hair shaft that much, as long as you clarify every 3 weeks or so. I don't think you have to use SLS every wash, that is too much.

Maybe before you try the cones, continue without them and instead immediately braid your hair or put it in an updo. If your hair still gets really tangled maybe then you really need to try cones.

P.S- how often do you detangle? I can only do it in the shower when my hair is full of conditioner so thats every 3 days. If I skip a day my hair turns into dreads! I wish I had straight hair so I could detangle whenever I wanted without breakage.

MyKing'sQueen
July 19th, 2011, 11:58 PM
When I was using cones I didn't really pay attention to my hair at all, except do bad things to it))) so I have no idea if they built up or not. I have like half a bottle of Pantene for fine hair left, so I guess I'll use that when I'm out of my AO conditioner and see how it does. I think I'm obsessed with detangling and I need to do it less. I do it like 3-4 times a day because I wear my hair down most of the time. If it's up it doesn't tangle, but I have a problem with wearing it up((((

whitestiletto
July 20th, 2011, 10:40 AM
If you're accustomed to doing lots of things to your hair including dying it, I found that Henna gave me the 'fix' without the damage. I like it a lot for that reason. I was already obsessed with dying red...

MyKing'sQueen
July 21st, 2011, 03:34 PM
Yeah, it sounds like a perfect option for me. I'm a little tight on money at the moment, but I'll order it as soon as I can.

jojo
July 22nd, 2011, 03:41 PM
Hey, McFearless! I just stopped using cones 2 months ago, and I'm not sure if it was a good idea. Maybe I should try and go back to using them. I just don't know how to use them properly so they don't build up. would i have to use sls shampoo every wash or just every once in a while? and would i be able to keep using oils or would that become unnecessary since cones seal the moisture in? and what type of cones should I look for? would dimethicone in my conditioner work or do I need to look for something different? Sorry for a lot of questions, I'm just really confused)))

theres no way to use them without getting build up but you can clarfy to get rid of that. If your hair likes cones, they are not evil to use at all and can help hair, especially delicate hair which breaks and splits easily.

Mineral oil is however one thing id steer away from, although ok in some hair it can cause some damage.

MyKing'sQueen
July 22nd, 2011, 11:10 PM
Ok, thanks for explaining that to me, jojo)) I like reading all the information on here and sometimes it gets overwhelming and I get confused))))) Btw, your hair looks gorgeous, I love the shine!

Toadstool
July 23rd, 2011, 01:51 AM
What McFearless said: I would go back to using cones. There is a good article on them.
Look forward to seeing your henndigoed hair!

Pierre
July 23rd, 2011, 01:59 AM
I second the braided updos. Nowadays (since last December) I always braid my hair and keep it braided and up for days in a row, and I can go at least a month without seeing a split. I also henna, which helps.

Just keep S&Ding, and not causing any new damage, and eventually you will get rid of the last damage, and the amount you need to S&D will go way down. Also, if a tangle is near the end of all hairs involved, you can cut it; they're all damaged and you won't lose much length to it.

MyKing'sQueen
July 24th, 2011, 11:37 AM
What McFearless said: I would go back to using cones. There is a good article on them.
Look forward to seeing your henndigoed hair!
Oh, thanks)) I'm looking forward to it too, excited and a little scared at the same time))) I'll post pictures whenever it's done.

MyKing'sQueen
July 24th, 2011, 11:42 AM
I second the braided updos. Nowadays (since last December) I always braid my hair and keep it braided and up for days in a row, and I can go at least a month without seeing a split. I also henna, which helps.

Just keep S&Ding, and not causing any new damage, and eventually you will get rid of the last damage, and the amount you need to S&D will go way down. Also, if a tangle is near the end of all hairs involved, you can cut it; they're all damaged and you won't lose much length to it.
thank you for the advice, Pierre. I'll try to keep it braided more often. I find that I have to re-braid it several times during the day or my layers start sticking out and it looks really messy))

ccmso12
July 24th, 2011, 11:44 AM
I'm not sure if it will help you but I used this:

http://www.heshherbal.com/product_info.php?cPath=53_57_59&products_id=71

I had major damage from bleach and permanent dye on the ends which were constantly splitting. Even with coconut and evoo I found it difficult to stop the splits with all the deep treatments I was doing. I tried this one as I had heard positive things about some of the herbal stuff. If you are avoiding cone's it would'nt be one for you but the site has a list of the ingredients too.



Odd . . .when you translate the ingredients to english its vegetable oil, mineral oil, and castor oil . . .with some coconut oil

celebriangel
July 24th, 2011, 02:33 PM
I would advise you take a look at this article:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=79

It's a huge article by our lovely resident Nightshade, who grew out damaged hair slowly. Regarding your tangles:

do you wear your hair up/contained? Wearing your hair loose will mean lots of tangles, and the damage that detangling entails. If you can't wear your hair in a full updo, at least keep it braided at all times.

For a cone-free diehard, I'm normally the first to recommend a cone-free trial. However, if your hair is velcro-ey and tangling badly, there's nothing to beat cones for providing slip. To control how much coney-ness gets on your hair, I would do as Spidermom does and keep with your current cone-free routine, but add a *light*, coney leave-in on "towel-dried" hair (though don't actually attempt to dry your hair with a towel! You know what I mean). This way, you can have the slip of cones, but build-up won't happen as quickly.

I would recommend Aussie's shine serum for coloured hair, for having lots of nice ingredients as well as the cones for slip (and not too heavy on the cones), and also because it smells nice and it's cheap :http://www.chemistonline.co.uk/aussie-dual-personality-shine-serum-c-417-p-8639?utm_source=google&utm_medium=basefeed&utm_campaign=redback

Best of luck!

spidermom
July 24th, 2011, 03:06 PM
Here's a slightly different way to think about it. I know you don't want to lose more length, but for me - it drove me crazy to fight with my hair every single day and see almost no progress because my hair was continually breaking off. Over 4 months, my hair gained about 3/4 inch in length. I finally caved in and had the 5 worst inches cut off, and my life became so much easier immediately. No more fighting with my hair. AND my hair grew 1-1/4 inches in 3 weeks following that cut.

I avoided thinking about the 5 inches I lost. Instead, I enjoyed the fact that my hair was growing. I was seeing progress every single month.

MyKing'sQueen
July 24th, 2011, 03:21 PM
Hey, celebriangel! Thanks for the article, I've read it when I first joined the forum and it helped me stop using straightener right away! I was so addicted to straightening my hair that I thought I would never stop (I still love straight hair and secretly wish mine was straight)... I'm gonna try to go back to cones and see what happens, I used to have some Aussie's leave in and it smelled great, so I'll give the serum a try. Thanks for your help!

jojo
July 24th, 2011, 03:30 PM
Ok, thanks for explaining that to me, jojo)) I like reading all the information on here and sometimes it gets overwhelming and I get confused))))) Btw, your hair looks gorgeous, I love the shine!

Yes it does get overwhelming, but I switch from cones to none cones. My hair tangles less with cones but i get build up. Thanks for the complement and I hope you find a solution xx

MyKing'sQueen
July 24th, 2011, 04:01 PM
Here's a slightly different way to think about it. I know you don't want to lose more length, but for me - it drove me crazy to fight with my hair every single day and see almost no progress because my hair was continually breaking off. Over 4 months, my hair gained about 3/4 inch in length. I finally caved in and had the 5 worst inches cut off, and my life became so much easier immediately. No more fighting with my hair. AND my hair grew 1-1/4 inches in 3 weeks following that cut.

I avoided thinking about the 5 inches I lost. Instead, I enjoyed the fact that my hair was growing. I was seeing progress every single month.
I've though about a big trim, since it would get rid of my layers and give me a thick straight hemline but then I would end up with apl and I really want waist))))) I just don't think I could be as brave as you are and start all over again... I think I'll try cones and henna first and if they don't work I guess that will be my only option and then hopefully one day my hair will grow back long and beautiful like yours))

MyKing'sQueen
July 24th, 2011, 04:13 PM
Odd . . .when you translate the ingredients to english its vegetable oil, mineral oil, and castor oil . . .with some coconut oil
Yeah, there are some kind of extracts too, it looks like it could work, but I'm scared of the mineral oil.

spidermom
July 24th, 2011, 04:24 PM
I've though about a big trim, since it would get rid of my layers and give me a thick straight hemline but then I would end up with apl and I really want waist))))) I just don't think I could be as brave as you are and start all over again... I think I'll try cones and henna first and if they don't work I guess that will be my only option and then hopefully one day my hair will grow back long and beautiful like yours))

EXACTLY! I went from almost waist to APL. Earlier this year, I was at my goal of classic length, but the bottom 6-7 inches were so dried out and trashed that I had it cut back to hip. I think someone sneaked some Miracle Gro on there because I'm almost back to classic length already, and without the nasty ends this time.

wendy51
July 24th, 2011, 08:41 PM
Did you try the baggy method at night? you can see some tutorials on youtube
this is good for ends! you do this from time to time, and it will drastically change their aspect ^^

MyKing'sQueen
July 25th, 2011, 12:19 AM
Did you try the baggy method at night? you can see some tutorials on youtube
this is good for ends! you do this from time to time, and it will drastically change their aspect ^^
No, I haven't. I've been doing heavy oilings every night before I wash but I will try this next time with some shea butter. Thank you))