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View Full Version : My face looks severe with updos



Becky9679
July 12th, 2011, 07:51 AM
Recently I've starting trying to learn updos. I can now do a few buns reasonably well, however because I don't have a fringe (or bangs if you're from the US :D) I can look rather severe with them in. I could try and do the 'tendrils around face' thing but when I wear my hair up it's because I want it out of the way so I'd rather not be pulling bits out of my updo to soften my face.

Part of the problem may be that because my hair is still a little short for some updos I have to make them rather tight or they won't stay. Also the effect seems to be worse if I brush all my hair straight back from my face - if I try to make a little part in it that softens the effect a bit.

Does anyone else have experience of this and if yes what do you do to try and soften your updo?

Flossy
July 12th, 2011, 07:55 AM
I feel the same. It makes me feel a bit 'school marm-ish'. I like to make a twist with the hair that would be in a fringe and pin it back, or do a deep part and pin that section back, before I do whatever 'do I have in mind (usually a plait, bor-ring).

I don't have any pics, but do you kind of get the picture?

pink.sara
July 12th, 2011, 07:59 AM
Yup, same problem. I'm nearly APL and need most of my hair to make updos work. What I do to make my little fat munchkin face less round is a quiff.
Separate a piece at the front, in a kind of reverse triangle shape from the hair line back about 2-3 inches to a point (the bit that would be cut into a fringe/bangs) brush straight upwards into the air fold back onto the head twist it once and push forwards. Pin in place and voila, quiff and softer effect.

Sometimes I also do little twists or tiny plaits and pull my hair up with those in a looser fashion which is kind of boho and cute.

Ishje
July 12th, 2011, 08:01 AM
I alway's used to do this on purpose, because I don't like strangers on the streets talking to me.

what I think might help is maybe some pretty flowers around your bun?

thisischristine
July 12th, 2011, 08:06 AM
I part it on the side, and don't brush it back too much. Kind of sideways, then back. This softens it for me.

jujube
July 12th, 2011, 08:09 AM
One word: earrings. They've been my best friend when I had really short hair. That and hair accessories (little bows or flowers definitely up the feminine and fun factor). And of course a nice smile takes off the severe look in a split second.

JuliaDancer
July 12th, 2011, 08:15 AM
Sometimes I fingerwave or sponge curl just the front sections with a side part and let it dry overnight. The next day, I'll make my bun or other updo, leaving those sections out, then comb out the curls, shaping them into nice vintage waves, using a couple of pins to hold them in place, blending the ends into the updo. Sometimes I just roll the ends into curls and pin them behind my ear near my bun. It softens up the face a lot, and stays put. You can use hairspray for extra hold, but it's not necessary for me. The curls will last you days if you either sleep carefully or re-roll/re-wave and clip overnight.

Melisande
July 12th, 2011, 08:17 AM
I second the earrings and - a good eye make up, especially brows.

I look horrible from the front in updos. Frightening.

LunaMoon
July 12th, 2011, 08:23 AM
Nice sun-glaces, earrings, make up, a nice scarf and of course, nice hair toys!
Can you try to make your updos higher? For my face, higher updos look nicer and low up-dos make me look like an old music teacher from the past (ok, ok I am an old music teacher haha, so I use both anyway:D)

Peggy E.
July 12th, 2011, 08:30 AM
Maybe you could try the messier styles that are also easier to do with shorter hair. You can usually see some of the hair from the front, so it could soften your face.

I'll bet you don't look as severe as you think, but if you believe so, then we're got to get you happy again! ;o)

Parts always look more feminine, though I have a problem keeping the part distinct when I'm combing it all into an updo.

sugar&nutmeg
July 12th, 2011, 08:38 AM
This is one of the reasons I cut fringe/bangs! With a fairly tight up-do and no fringe/bangs, almost none of my hair is visible when I face straight-on! Can we say 'fivehead'?

I have found that I can soften an up-do slightly if I tug gently at the hair on top/front-sides of my head after I've twisted the length into the bun, but before I secure it. This works best with clean hair, of course, so it loosens and poofs up/out a tiny bit but doesn't go piece-y.

Hope that made sense!

Alaia
July 12th, 2011, 08:51 AM
You could try this! (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=87)

I usually use earrings, though.

Madora
July 12th, 2011, 09:20 AM
I found that if I French lace twist 2 sections of hair around my front hairline it gives me a nice, soft frame for some of my styles. The hair along the hairline is raised about 1/4 of an inch because of the French lace twisting..giving a sort of "lift" to the front and sides.

Here's how I do it:

1) Bent at the waist, all hair in front of me, like a curtain. Detangle slowly with a wide tooth comb.

2) Take a small section of hair near your hairline (just above your right eyebrow. Divide it in two sections. Take one section of hair and cross it over the other.

3) Holding the crossed over hair up and slightly to the left, reach down and gather a small bit of hair from the front hairline/scalp area and add it into the section of hair in the left section. You have two sections of hair for twisting.

4) Take the section of hair that you just added hair to, and cross it over the other section of hair.

5) Holding the crossed over hair up and slightly to the left, reach down and gather another small bit of hair from the front hairline/scalp area and add it into the section of hair on the left. You have two sections of hair for twisting.

6) Repeat steps 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 until all hair has been twisted. For the full effect, do NOT twist the hair tightly!!

You can do this French lace twisting of 2 sections of hair around your head.If you do it very loosely, you can bring the twisted hair into a bun and pin it at the back of the head (if your hair is long enough). Hope this helps!

squiggyflop
July 12th, 2011, 09:22 AM
I alway's used to do this on purpose, because I don't like strangers on the streets talking to me.

i thought i was the only one

AlexiaBlue
July 12th, 2011, 09:45 AM
I 2nd the big earrings and big sunglasses suggestions! :D

heidi w.
July 12th, 2011, 09:48 AM
Bullet head signing in.

LOL

One tip is to ensure you, when done, press the palms on the side and top of the head hair and push forward to ever-so-slightly loosen the tightness.

The other thing, if your hair takes a curl (I know some who can finger curl), think bushy, fluffiness, for the bun part, and kind of use hairpins to tuck in tendrils, instead.

Braid, if you have enough to braid, loosely, such that the braid looks thicker, and place that about the crown. Madora has a beautiful crown braid going on as her Avatar.

heidi w.

heidi w.
July 12th, 2011, 09:49 AM
Going off the the big earrings comment, think about collar styles.

I happen to like what are known as Chinese collars, a kind of rim. I have a strong jawline, and tend to like accenting that look.

Lipstick can help a bit...as can eyeshadow, to move focus elsewhere.

Believe it or not, sleeves and no sleeves can make a difference, and type of sleeve. I'm a big fan of the 3/4 sleeve.

All these elements serve to set off the face in different ways, with different accents and focus.

heidi w.

spidermom
July 12th, 2011, 10:59 AM
I put up with looking severe.

Becky9679
July 12th, 2011, 02:04 PM
Some great suggestions here thanks! Sometimes I like the severe look myself but it's nice to be able to soften it if you want to. I have the fivehead problem as well but I look absolutely horrible with a fringe so I'm never having one again and I've embraced my fivehead in all its glory :D

It's absolutely true that makeup and clothes make a huge difference, I tend to think I look more severe at work when I usually wear less makeup and my clothes are a bit more formal. I never thought of earrings which is a bit silly considering both of my ears are pierced five times, I just never seem to change the jewellery, just plain rings all the time. And I've just ordered some sparkly new hair toys so I'll have to get experimenting with the various suggestions people have given.

Chromis
July 12th, 2011, 02:10 PM
I kind of like looking severe :evil:

I do find that flowered clips and bright eye shadows have a softening effect though.

Annibelle
July 12th, 2011, 02:19 PM
I love this look! I part on the side and then put it into a "severe" bun. But I ALWAYS wear earrings (as big as is professional ;) ) or else I'd look like a boy.

heidihug
July 12th, 2011, 03:04 PM
I wear my hair up every day, and I have bangs. I really dislike the way I look without bangs.

Anje
July 12th, 2011, 03:24 PM
You could always just join the Tight-bunned mean ladies club (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6616).

Copasetic
July 12th, 2011, 03:40 PM
I totally have the problem. I don't really care all that much about it, but I do find that I look less severe if I do a pony tail or braid instead of a tight bun. I also try parting my hair on the side, and then pulling it out a bit so it comes down onto my forehead. I hope that makes sense. The effect is kind of like this: http://www.weddinghaircenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/quick-updos.jpg

slz
July 12th, 2011, 03:51 PM
My face already looks severe without updos. And many of the things one might use to "soften" updos make me look ridiculous. I guess I'm a natural born tight bunned mean lady :D .

archel
July 12th, 2011, 04:05 PM
My sister wears her hair in a mean lady bun and has vintage 50's granny glasses. She says it keeps the kids off her lawn.

gracenotes
July 12th, 2011, 04:37 PM
I second the pushing-hair-forward-slightly-with-palms suggestion. I also find that making a horizontal part from ear to ear (with as much or as little hair as I want), leaving the front parts loose, bunning the rest, and then wrapping the front tendrils around the bun and pinning them helps. It gives the bun a softer look as it lets some hair 'drape' above the ears a little. I hope that was clear--it's been a long day at work!!

Pumpkin
July 12th, 2011, 05:06 PM
I love that my hair is getting longer, but I hate it in my face, so I usually wear it in a bun or ponytail. I do not have bangs, so I guess I am severe looking with it tight off my face.

I do find, like many others have said, that eye makeup (lots of mascara!!) and pretty earrings really do soften the look. I also look better with high buns instead of low ones.

MsBubbles
July 12th, 2011, 05:12 PM
Ah yes, this question comes up regularly. After all these years I have not yet found my solution to this problem. My hair is too flat & fine for any pouffing at all.


I part it on the side, and don't brush it back too much. Kind of sideways, then back. This softens it for me.

This does work for me but I have to literally lean to one side so that I can catch the few gravity-defying strands just the right way in my updo, otherwise it parts like straight rows of vines.


And of course a nice smile takes off the severe look in a split second.

Yeah not any more at my age!


I put up with looking severe.

LMAO!! :laugh:


My face already looks severe without updos. And many of the things one might use to "soften" updos make me look ridiculous. I guess I'm a natural born tight bunned mean lady :D .

Me too. The only thing that softened my face from 30 yrs old upwards was the soccer-mom hairdo: short, layered, bleached and blow dried on velcro rollers. And that's probably also why so many ladies opt for that route.

Xandergrammy
July 12th, 2011, 05:15 PM
One word: earrings. They've been my best friend when I had really short hair. That and hair accessories (little bows or flowers definitely up the feminine and fun factor). And of course a nice smile takes off the severe look in a split second.


I totally agree with this answer. Earrings can brighten and soften any updo. I also have natural wispies around my face, so I have no choice but to have tendrils. If I'm lucky, the wispies behave and curl a little instead of sticking straight out! :gabigrin:

layla<33
July 12th, 2011, 05:24 PM
hope im not repeating anyone :) first make a half up but dont pin it. instead twist it good and push it up a bit to make 'poof' and dont worry if its big or malformed you'll fix it later. then pin it with a bobby pin or clip and go ahead and do yor bun or style of choice positioning it right under the bobby pin BUT this works best if the style requires twisting such as a cinnamon bun because when you begin gathering the rest of your hair for yor updo your going include the twisted half up. then after you secure your bun remove the pin and adjust the 'poof' it really helps soften the face. there is also a article on this with pictures but im not sure who wrote it but its there just through the authors and you'll find it :)

QMacrocarpa
July 12th, 2011, 05:57 PM
I never brush straight back into updos, my inner conehead would emerge (not good!). If you've got the hang of the faux french braid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kOyGD_KOoA), with the front of your hair parting and lying as you want it, you can turn it into a folded braid updo in seconds flat. A not-too-long hairstick plus a hair-friendly elastic make an easy secure fastening for this if you don't have a clip that will fit around the folded braid. The hairstick goes through the scalp hair behind the braid and the elastic grabs both ends of the hairstick and holds the braid in place.

pepperminttea
July 12th, 2011, 06:31 PM
Try to keep your parting, and for some reason I find wearing my hair over the top of my ears helps. Don't ask me why. :p And another vote for earrings - my collection of those is even more vast than my collection of hairtoys (though it is getting closer :D ).


My sister wears her hair in a mean lady bun and has vintage 50's granny glasses. She says it keeps the kids off her lawn.

:lol: I need to get me some 50's glasses!

embee
July 12th, 2011, 08:55 PM
Severe works well for me.

If I want to be perkier I can make a topknot and wear big earrings. Personally I think that looks a bit silly on me but it *is* less severe and other folks have commented positively. So now I have a choice! Amazing.

I get terminal cleavage with any non-tight bun.... alas.

Athena's Owl
July 12th, 2011, 10:04 PM
wear your updos higher on your head, so you can see the top part of it form straight on. that helps the severity issue.

I'm also wondering - not that I'm saying makeup is by any means mandatory but the right cosmetics can change your look. A lot of people only know how to put on one 'face."

intothemist1999
July 12th, 2011, 10:23 PM
I put up with looking severe.

And although I think I look severe, too, I suspect we don't look as severe as we think. Generally, we view our 'do from straight on -- probably the "severest" angle.

Since we move around (or our head around) and people around us move around they are constantly seeing different angles of our face.

I do know that some 'dos that make me look severe straight-on look gorgeous from the side. Again, since we are in motion, others are not perpetually viewing us straight on...and nothing else.


Try to keep your parting, and for some reason I find wearing my hair over the top of my ears helps. Don't ask me why.

Ditto that!

AnnaJamila
July 12th, 2011, 10:35 PM
One thing that looks really pretty and softens updos quite a bit is inserting two small hair combs at either temple. Just slide them in with the curve the wrong way then flip it and push forward until it's secure. The hair is still secure but you have a bit of volume and interest. One of my favorite styles!

Becky9679
July 13th, 2011, 01:44 AM
You could always just join the Tight-bunned mean ladies club (http://www.longhaircommunity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6616).

Hehehe, thanks I was looking for that thread the other day :)

julliams
July 13th, 2011, 03:55 AM
I've fought with this as well. One of my favourites (as long as I get it right) is a big messy bun really high on my head and then put in a little clip at the front of the bun or on the side of it as an accent. It's a little eclectic looking and suits my style. Sometimes little curls fall out of it and that softens the look.

Chiara
July 13th, 2011, 06:03 AM
I've embraced my fivehead in all its glory
Woohoo, I'm with you!

I have a big forehead (in proportion to the rest of my face) and it goes back a looonnnggg way. So fringes don't work very well because I end up having to do a comb-over to hide the exposed sides.

But hey, once that look was very popular!
http://www.rijksmuseum.nl/images/aria/sk/z/sk-a-3989.z
http://brushpalletteandcoffee.blogspot.com/2008/12/portrait-of-woman.html

intothemist1999
July 13th, 2011, 09:19 AM
hope im not repeating anyone :) first make a half up but dont pin it. instead twist it good and push it up a bit to make 'poof' and dont worry if its big or malformed you'll fix it later. then pin it with a bobby pin or clip and go ahead and do yor bun or style of choice positioning it right under the bobby pin BUT this works best if the style requires twisting such as a cinnamon bun because when you begin gathering the rest of your hair for yor updo your going include the twisted half up. then after you secure your bun remove the pin and adjust the 'poof' it really helps soften the face. there is also a article on this with pictures but im not sure who wrote it but its there just through the authors and you'll find it :)

I'm intrigued by this. When you say "gather" the first half-up, do you mean pull it into the new cinnabun, or do you mean it's going to be absorbed into/under the cinnabun?

Unfortunately the articles has no search funtion (that I've discovered) so I hope I can find it.

ETA: You can disregard the above, I found the article:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=169

ETA2: bonus -- that article prompted me to check out the Neoma Bun (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=169)! Yay -- finally a second bun that will hold for me with a stick! Nice thing is that I can use very short sticks on this, AND my Ravenscroft moon!!