Will I EVER get there???

[Gilly]

Sometimes I really wonder if I will EVER get my hair to get past nape length, it seems that whenever I get there it starts to get really nasty no matter what I do to it and then of course I cut it off as it truly look awful (I am NOT kidding!) If there was a way of keeping it longer I would but it just starts breaking, goes very dry and brittle etc, I wish I could figure out why it does that at that length :rolleyes::rolleyes: I do clarify, I use oils occasionally as a deep treatment, I spritz, I do protien treatments when it needs it and moisture when it needs that, I sleep on a silk pillowcase, I can't do CO, I have tried but I can't seem to get on with it.
Its really weird, it will respond to things when its shorter but as soon as it hits the nape of my neck it rebels!!!:rolleyes:

Sorry for the rant but I just had to get that off my chest!:o
I really don't know what else I can do!

[MeganE]

How's your health? Any vitamin deficiencies or medical issues that could be causing it? For some medical conditions, dry brittle hair is one of the symptoms. Might be worth getting checked out just in case?

[Gilly]

My health is generally good, I do have high blood pressure but I am on medication for that but I have been struggling with growing my hair before that was an issue.
I had longer hair when I was younger (bra strap most of the time) but I have not been able to get it below my neck without it turning really nasty and awful!:rolleyes:

[feralnature]

Nape length is just an awkward length. Perhaps you need to find ways of wearing it, penning it, or ignoring it, so that you can manage to get past that worrisome length and see some progress. My hair was at an unflattering length when I joined up here and now, my hair is long. Be patient and don't over think it.

[Sundial]

Nape length is just an awkward length. Perhaps you need to find ways of wearing it, penning it, or ignoring it, so that you can manage to get past that worrisome length and see some progress. My hair was at an unflattering length when I joined up here and now, my hair is long. Be patient and don't over think it.

I agree! Nape was the worst hurdle for me. I had short hair all my life and even though I wanted to grow my hair out, I could never get past nape. It was the most awkward stage for me - too short to put up in ponytail and yet it's long enough to be unruly. It would curl up in all directions right where the hair meets my shoulders.

I finally managed to survive past nape during a period of time when I was too busy to get a trim. When I finicky paid attention, it was between collarbone and APL (long enough to tie up).

I suggest pedaling through nape without any trimming first just to get you past the awkward stage. Ignore your hair as much as you can (in the mirror) and just step up on the babying. Give it about 2-3 months and you should feel like you are over that stage. At that point if you feel like getting a trim then just do a micro trim (not so much a to bring you back to nape). Get yourself out of the vicious cycle

[Gilly]

I HAVE just put it up and ignored it and all I end up with is hair that cannot be left down at all, it looks dreadful, thin, wispy and brittle, I know that I should be able to grow it if I ignore it but I just does not work, I was putting it up while it was still wet, not stressing it at all and it still went nasty and I ended up having to get 4 inches cut off it to even it up!:rolleyes:

[Sundial]

I HAVE just put it up and ignored it and all I end up with is hair that cannot be left down at all, it looks dreadful, thin, wispy and brittle, I know that I should be able to grow it if I ignore it but I just does not work, I was putting it up while it was still wet, not stressing it at all and it still went nasty and I ended up having to get 4 inches cut off it to even it up!:rolleyes:

I notice that you have F/i hair, is it possible that putting it up while wet is causing the damage? Do you detangle while wet before putting it up? It could be tearing up your hair. My hair doesn't take well to being handled wet, so I let it dry completely before I even try to detangle and comb through it. My ends get wrecked if I bun/braid it while damp too.

I know some people rave that the ends are really soft from damp bunning but it wasn't for me, and I was wondering if your hair freaks out when handled wet too

[Gilly]

No, I was VERY careful not to mangle it about in any way while it was wet, I know its thin and fragile so I treat it as such, its just frustrating to have people tell me to ignore it when it looks truly awful (to the extent that hairdressers gasp at the state of it when they see it!) I need to feel good about myself and I cannot do that when my hair is looking so horrible, it really drags my confidence down.

[Sundial]

This may be overkill, but do deep treatments like an SMT or a heavy oiling every time you wash and see if that makes a difference?

My hair was severely damaged from countless bleaching+coloring+perming+permanent straightening+blowdrying. I did my first SMT and it made a huge difference in my hair so I started doing it for every other wash. It was a lot of work, but once my hair condition improved, I started cutting back. Perhaps you can experiment with this and see how it works out for you :flower: it wouldn't hurt to give it a go and if things improve then great! I really hope things work out for you and that you figure out what went wrong

[Gilly]

This may be overkill, but do deep treatments like an SMT or a heavy oiling every time you wash and see if that makes a difference?

My hair was severely damaged from countless bleaching+coloring+perming+permanent straightening+blowdrying. I did my first SMT and it made a huge difference in my hair so I started doing it for every other wash. It was a lot of work, but once my hair condition improved, I started cutting back. Perhaps you can experiment with this and see how it works out for you :flower: it wouldn't hurt to give it a go and if things improve then great! I really hope things work out for you and that you figure out what went wrong

I think I will have to try something like this, although I know that my hair hates aloe in an SMT, I ALWAYS get the flakies when I use it, nasty big flakes that look like I have dreadful dandruff! so I will mix some up without that, I think I will have to change my routine though as I have very little time in the mornings so I may try to do a really thorough water only rinse in the morning and then do a wash and SMT in the evening as I can leave it on for as long as I want :cheese:.
I am sorry if I sound so negative but its really frustrating, I have been trying to grow my hair ever since joining here and I have never got anywhere with it.
I appreciate all the advice that I am getting here, something has GOT to work!!

[Sundial]

That sounds like a good game plan! ;) perhaps you can even do SMT overnight, rinse in the morning with WO (so your SMT works like a CO) and then follow up with a light oiling before you put it up. I hope that won't weigh your hair down too much. My hair was so thirsty that it sucked everything up and didn't look greasy at all but I don't know how your F hair will fare. There's only one way to find out ;)

No worries about it, our job here is to offer encouragement/support and also to help troubleshoot!

I get flakes in SMTs with some brands of conditioner, but if you want a deep treatment without aloe then you can try something like the Caramel Treatment but it was pretty heavy for me so you may want to leave the experimenting of that one till a day when you are not going anywhere.

[Gilly]

I am afraid that I can't put my hair up as its still short:rolleyes: I had to have it chopped a few months ago for the usual reason and it is at the moment just touching the top backbone (before it goes up my neck (this is the longest layer) so I cant really do a lot with it at the moment!

Thanks for the encouragement!

[bunzfan]

Keep at it your get there, i think i wore mine in a French braid from shoulder length it helped me forget about it.

[Gilly]

I think the caramel treatment will be too much for my hair, its blonde and looks filthy if I put oil in it:rolleyes:
I did an SMT tonight, it feels nice but its sticking out all over the place at the moment!:o

[jojo]

I agree it is a frustrating length but you have got to bsl and you will again. I have the type of hair that no matter how gentle I am with it it breaks. For me daily oiling on the very ends helps a lot in my hair retaining length. how often are you washing it? maybe try stretching your washes, it will be truely greasy when you first try this especially at day 3, but ive just gone a week and after the 3rd day my hair got less greasy and the sebum will help condition and protect the ends. A little evvo on the ends will also help and when you put your hair up, try and tuck those ends away.

I am always thinking im doomed to be waist forever and that my hair wont get any longer, but I am thinking due to my hair natural texture I really needed to cut down washes and keep it up. You will get there Gilly, just ignore it for the time being, keep it up for 3 months, dont examine it (a watched pot never boils yeah!) and you will see a big difference.

Chin up! were all here for you, longer lengths are just a smile away! x

[Gabriel]

Are you getting damage from your shirt collars maybe? Or a car headrest, computer chair or something similiar? Can you wrap your hair in a scarf or Buff or something similiar so that when you wear it up there is a protective barrier there for you? Some of those hair wrap type of Buffs you probably wouldn't even need to wear your hair up with.

[IanB]

Yes you will, just sometimes it seems forever!

[Gilly]

Are you getting damage from your shirt collars maybe? Or a car headrest, computer chair or something similiar? Can you wrap your hair in a scarf or Buff or something similiar so that when you wear it up there is a protective barrier there for you? Some of those hair wrap type of Buffs you probably wouldn't even need to wear your hair up with.

I could wrap my hair up in a buff but it would not be tolerated at the office and a job is rather important so I figure that I won't be going down that route! :laugh:
I have tried stretching washes many, many times and it simply is NOT an option for me unfortunatly, i think because its blonde and fine, I end up with really dirty looking hair by the next morning AND it is unruly and messy and will refuse to play unless its washed, it won't tolerate just being wet down, no matter how thouroughly I do it :rolleyes:
The other thing is, and I really think this is the MOST important, if my hair looks crappy then I feel crappy and I don't deserve to feel bad about myself so if it needs washing, it gets washed!
I think I will start taking a weekly picture to see how its going condition and length wise.
Do we still have to use a seperate photo site or can we upload from our computers straight to here now?:confused:

[Chiara]

Hi Gilly,
I think that you may be overwashing your fragile length.
One thing I've started doing to protect my length is applying lots of a light conditioner to all my hair, when my hair is still dry (I use Kiwi Lime Squeeze for this- which makes me slightly flakey but not as bad as Aldi 5 star). Make sure all the hair is really coated (but gently). Then pop a shower cap on and have shower. At end of shower, damp hair slightly and massage gently so that the conditioner foams up, then rinse. Then I shampoo the scalp only and rinse out. Then I apply conditioner to the length and rinse out. This seems to get my hair clean everywhere, but minimises the shampoo that contacts the length of my hair. In cold, dry weather, I'll also use a tiny amount of leave-in conditioner (a small pea amount!)

[gogirlanime]

I say since everything is basically good BUT one thing came to mind. When your hair is at the nape it is rubbing against the collar of your shirts and cotton can be very drying to the hair. So when it it starting to get close, do whatever you can to get your hair up and sitting close to or on top of your head so nothing is rubbing, drying, and getting damaged. Nape-length is hard to bring up, once it has grown past this length (if you are growing, most keep their hair up everyday all day) you can freely wear it down a little more often. My mentality now is that the more often I wear it up the more of a chance my hair has to be long and healthy. If you want long thick hair, wearing your hair up 95-100% of the time is ESSENTIAL.

[sarahbrownie]

It definitely takes time, but I find when it shorter you can tell the growth difference more than APL to BSL. But yeah, seems like it takes forever when it's at that length!

[Lianna]

Perhaps your hair would like a protein treatment. I heard fine hairs really like that even though mine don't (but I'm in the minority on everything when it comes to hair). It would make it stronger, but follow with a moisturizing treatment/conditioner.

[Katze]

I HAVE just put it up and ignored it and all I end up with is hair that cannot be left down at all, it looks dreadful, thin, wispy and brittle, I know that I should be able to grow it if I ignore it but I just does not work, I was putting it up while it was still wet, not stressing it at all and it still went nasty and I ended up having to get 4 inches cut off it to even it up!:rolleyes:

I could have written this (and have...) :D


No, I was VERY careful not to mangle it about in any way while it was wet, I know its thin and fragile so I treat it as such, its just frustrating to have people tell me to ignore it when it looks truly awful (to the extent that hairdressers gasp at the state of it when they see it!) I need to feel good about myself and I cannot do that when my hair is looking so horrible, it really drags my confidence down.

Hairdressers like to call my hair 'thin' (it isn't) and tell me it won't grow. I've been here for over six years now, I started at APL with bleached, heat-damaged hair, and am now...back at APL with virgin hair. Fun.

What has helped me feel better about my hair is to cut it back to a length where it looks okay down. I do have to put a lot of leave-in on the wavier bits and the length, and I use a lot of product to make it stay halfway tidy. I have also been CO washing and washing more often (alternating CO and CW or WC or CWC).

Wavy fine hair is not easy to deal with. It's not. DH has wavy, fine, THICK hair and is constantly getting matting and involuntary dreads. He basically has to do a serious detangle every other day or he looks like a sheep. Being a guy, he only has long hair because it is less work than short (for him) so he is really annoyed by this. I don't know anyone with wavy fine hair who has it easy.

It is hard to come to LHC and see all the people with beautiful, sleek, LONG hair. But remember most of them posted their very best photo; they have bad hair days too.

[Debra83]

Maybe you've seen this thread already, but if you haven't it might help you. I find using it as a leave in has really helped my hair.....http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=50881...also cassia treatments might help since you are already a blonde.... I have fine, wavy hair, and I find henna (the one I use) has helped with strength and thickness, and the GF3N has helped with moisture.

hope it helps! :D

[Gilly]

Hi Katze, I have followed your hair journey with interest, I remember when you were posting similar things to me, I know that you understand my problem.
I am going to start doing SMTs whenever I wash my hair, I won't be able to leave them on if I wash in the morning so I am going to try and change my wash time to the evening so I can leave it on for longer, my hair does like protien so it will get a serious dollop of that on a regular basis too!
I noticed that today I could have got away with soaking my hair this morning as the SMT I did last night obviously cleaned it very well, I had the day off sick today so I have not washed it yet today and it still looks clean at the roots (its still wild and crazy looking though):rolleyes: so maybe I can use the SMT as a CO which will help to keep it more moisturised.
I dodn't wear shirts with collars much at all, mainly t-shirt type tops so no damage there, its still at the too short to do much length and as it has lots of layers in as well the problem is even worse.
Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement, it really means a lot to me :flowers:

[Gilly]

Maybe you've seen this thread already, but if you haven't it might help you. I find using it as a leave in has really helped my hair.....http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=50881...also cassia treatments might help since you are already a blonde.... I have fine, wavy hair, and I find henna (the one I use) has helped with strength and thickness, and the GF3N has helped with moisture.

hope it helps! :D

My hair does like cassia and I just happen to have some so I think I will do it at the weekend:cheese:

[skyblue]

Wearing a silk sleep cap to bed could help prevent the creases and weird bent angles I remember I used to wake up with at that stage of growth, that only washing would get rid of,
I know you mentioned you sleep on a silk pillow case but the cap can help keep your hair tame at night

[Gilly]

Wearing a silk sleep cap to bed could help prevent the creases and weird bent angles I remember I used to wake up with at that stage of growth, that only washing would get rid of,
I know you mentioned you sleep on a silk pillow case but the cap can help keep your hair tame at night

I have mentioned a sleep cap to my hubby, that went down well.:rolleyes:
Not for me I'm afraid, the silk pillowcase is as far as I am willing to go!

[spidermom]

Perhaps you could get one or two neutral colored silk scarves to wear between your hair and your shirt collars - particularly the collars that feel rough when you run your fingers across them. You could cover the head rest in your car with a silk pillowcase, too.

Do you live in a dry climate? If so, don't use any product with aloe vera, honey, or glycerin; they will draw moisture out of your hair. In my humid climate, they draw moisture to my hair, but in a dry climate they do just the opposite.

Try very diluted shampooing. I almost always mix my shampoo with warm water. I saved an empty shampoo bottle and do this fresh.

You might have to lower your expectations a little and go through a period of not-the-most-attractive hair. We all have to get through those awkward periods with as much grace and as little hair damage as possible. I got through my nape to APL stage by using blow dryers and curling/straightening irons. I had to cut off the damage later, but since my hair was bushy and awful, I think the loss of length later was worth how much better my hair looked. If I had to do it over again, I think I'd try more non-heat options for styling, however.

[Gilly]

I don't usually wear collars of any kind as I don't like things that make my hair sit up and stick out:o so thats not really an issue.

I work in an air conditioned office for 8 hours a day, I know my skin is suffering from that so it makes sense that my hair would also be suffering, the thing is I am confused about how I can keep the moisture in and still look very professional in the office, I have said before that the tiniest amount of oil makes me look like I have slept in a chip pan, I can't put it up as its still too short (trust me I have tried!), wet hair is not tolerated, neither are hats,buffs etc.
I had thought about going back to silicones to try and seal moisture in but then I am back to using a harsher method of shampooing to remove them! HELP!!!:rolleyes:

[halfbakedtulip]

Hello Gilly!! I am curious when your hair was at bsl what did it look like? Was it unmanageable then?


I know you have fine hair. Mine is very thick. But it is not like anyone elses I have ever seen on here. I have had so many people tell me it needs moisture and quite frankly it couldnt have more moisture lol I have tried protein and just about everything but my hair is still crazy. I am good when its long as I can put it up.I am terrified as I start my journey all over again. I can tell you that henna, co'ing, acv rinses and coconut oil have made my hair the healthiest it has ever been. Check out my albums for my hair typing pic. I feel your pain!!

[Gilly]

I was way younger when my hair was BSL but it was wavy,fine and very lightweight, I don't recall it being a pain to look after as I would just clip it up or put it in a pony tail, it was a breeze to look after!
But now, it just sits on my head sulking, occasionally it will spit the dummy completly, usually when I need it to look good!:rolleyes:
Thinking of trying CWC with dilute shampoo next!

[Sundial]

I noticed that today I could have got away with soaking my hair this morning as the SMT I did last night obviously cleaned it very well, I had the day off sick today so I have not washed it yet today and it still looks clean at the roots (its still wild and crazy looking though):rolleyes: so maybe I can use the SMT as a CO which will help to keep it more moisturised.

You may want to try adding a bit of oil to the SMT mix before you use it. Some peole over at the SMTthread have mentioned that as a good solution to the frizzies that they usually get from using SMT without adding oil.



I work in an air conditioned office for 8 hours a day, I know my skin is suffering from that so it makes sense that my hair would also be suffering, the thing is I am confused about how I can keep the moisture in and still look very professional in the office

That was my observation too except that my problem was heaters during winters. Are you allowed to keep a humidifier near you in the office? It may help ease your skin and hair problems

[Gilly]

You may want to try adding a bit of oil to the SMT mix before you use it. Some peole over at the SMTthread have mentioned that as a good solution to the frizzies that they usually get from using SMT without adding oil.



That was my observation too except that my problem was heaters during winters. Are you allowed to keep a humidifier near you in the office? It may help ease your skin and hair problems
No go on the humidifier I'm afraid, my desk is full of computer, monitor, assorted other things that MUST be plugged in at all times so plug points are imposible to find, I don't really want to run the risk of a bowl of water on my desk either, there are some clumsy people in my office!

[Gilly]

I am back on the CV shampoo bars and Aldi 5 star conditioner, I am also using Moroccan oil, yes I know its chock full of cones but I think that the air con at work is sucking all the moisture out of my hair and if the silicones stop that happening then that's fine by me!:cheese:
I used Moroccan oil yesterday and used the shampoo bar today and my hair felt the same as it did when I was NOT using silicones so I am hoping that it got it out, I will continue with this daily routine and will see what its like at the end of the week and will clarify if it needs it.
I really think that if I can get the MO out with the shampoo bar then I stand some chance of keeping some length!:cheese:

[Redbeetle36]

I totally sympathise, mine is nape length and looks so awful down, I've managed to do two French braids each side which looks pretty cute! I agree with some of the others who say just put it up for a few months and try to forget about it. Get a bit of length then it might be easier to handle.

[Redbeetle36]

Oh forgot to say I had to totally chill out on the treatments, my hair was freaking out. I've just gone back to a really simple routine for a while.

[Gilly]

I am still struggling:rolleyes: The shampoo bars, 5 stars and the morrocan oil stopped working, I ended up with very dry nasty looking hair again, I have been trying different things like CWC which seems to work but I really need to keep the most moisture in it for as long as I can.
I can just about feel it brushing just past my nape so I guess it is growing but I just wish it would get a move on!:o

[skyblue]

My hair use to do that too at various lengths, use a tiny amount of oil just on those dry ends and micro trim monthly, also if you have build up it shows as dry crunchy ends a whole head and length wash most often takes care of that, coconut oil really messes with my ends it could be something your using causing it, try a little trial and error with your products to see if that may be the problem, try taking biotin a low dose of 500mcg once a day, it didn't help my hair to grow faster but it did help with breakage and dry crunchy ends...ask your doctor about it and see if you are lacking in anything
good luck

[Desideira]

I dodn't wear shirts with collars much at all, mainly t-shirt type tops so no damage there, its still at the too short to do much length and as it has lots of layers in as well the problem is even worse.
Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement, it really means a lot to me :flowers:

do you wash your hair eveyday? do you have oily scalp? I really swear by for scap tonic and ampules for hair growth (i really like garneir neril) it help me to finnaly came form apl to bsl and it made new hair growth out of myscalp.
Regular use of scalp tonics (i recomend ones form pharmacy with natural herbs and oils) and massaging the scalp.

I noticed that they are not opular but for me they were a discovery for me:)

[Libbylou]

I am not one to give much advice, but have you ever tried coconut oil on the ends at night? Alot of people swear the oil gets suck into the hair by morning. Just a thought.

[CurlyMopTop]

I know that I'm still kind of a newb but have you ever tried just using a drop of condish mixed with water instead of oil? I know that it doesn't seal, but it may just be enough moisture to keep your hair happy for the day. When I use this method, I wet my hands, then put a dime size amount of condish in my wet palm, mix then run over my hair with my hands starting from the ends and work my way up. If I feel that it wasn't enough, I'll repeat the process. Because your hair is so much shorter, I would probably only start with a drop of condish mixed with water from wet hands and try to apply it to the ends only and adjust as needed. :D

[Deborah]

Gilly,

I see that you are not washing with Sorbolene any more. Didn't that help with not drying out your hair? Maybe give it another shot. Just use it and nothing else.

What could it hurt?

[einna]

Hi Gilly. What about mixing up a spritzer bottle with distilled water, condish etc. to bring to work? Use this on your ends once or twice a day to give your hair some extra moisture to combat the air condition dryness. Just remember - no humectants ;).
Hope you find something that works for you. =)

[Pierre]

I know it's hard to do S&D at that length, but it helped me. Another thing you could try is two Dutch braids, one on each side. No hair has too far to go to get braided (except the new sprouts), so they're all protected.

[Gilly]

do you wash your hair eveyday? do you have oily scalp? I really swear by for scap tonic and ampules for hair growth (i really like garneir neril) it help me to finnaly came form apl to bsl and it made new hair growth out of myscalp.
Regular use of scalp tonics (i recomend ones form pharmacy with natural herbs and oils) and massaging the scalp.

I noticed that they are not opular but for me they were a discovery for me:)

As I said before, I do wash everyday, I have to as my hair will not tolerate any less than a wash, I use Mastey Triate which is a very gentle shampoo and always condition after.


I know that I'm still kind of a newb but have you ever tried just using a drop of condish mixed with water instead of oil? I know that it doesn't seal, but it may just be enough moisture to keep your hair happy for the day. When I use this method, I wet my hands, then put a dime size amount of condish in my wet palm, mix then run over my hair with my hands starting from the ends and work my way up. If I feel that it wasn't enough, I'll repeat the process. Because your hair is so much shorter, I would probably only start with a drop of condish mixed with water from wet hands and try to apply it to the ends only and adjust as needed. :D

I will give that a try!:cheese:


Gilly,

I see that you are not washing with Sorbolene any more. Didn't that help with not drying out your hair? Maybe give it another shot. Just use it and nothing else.

What could it hurt?

I ran out and have not got round to buying more yet!:rolleyes:


Hi Gilly. What about mixing up a spritzer bottle with distilled water, condish etc. to bring to work? Use this on your ends once or twice a day to give your hair some extra moisture to combat the air condition dryness. Just remember - no humectants ;).
Hope you find something that works for you. =)

I can't really get away with this in the office, its frowned upon!:(


I know it's hard to do S&D at that length, but it helped me. Another thing you could try is two Dutch braids, one on each side. No hair has too far to go to get braided (except the new sprouts), so they're all protected.

I don't have any slpits or damage at all, I have been checking it at every opportunity in a 10 X mag mirror!
I have no idea how to do dutch braids plus I am not sure I could get away with it at my age!:o

[Gilly]

Hi Everyone!:waving:

Yep, I'm back again!

My hair is still at the same stupid length, I still have awful dry ends and it's not really growing much:rolleyes:

I have just read all through the posts on this thread and am basically going to have another go at trying to get it past the collar length.

I am sitting here at the moment with an SMT on my newly clarified hair, I hope it helps!:pray:

[Mesmerise]

Good luck! Hopefully it works for you and you get longer hair :).

[Louise148]

I have very fine hair that has just reached collarbone length I find it is a very awkward length. The sides are somewhat shorter so updos can be a challenge which is where bobby pins come in very useful. I am also finding it is starting to get a bit tangly on the ends which I think it to do with the fact that it is very fine but also has a bit of a wave to it. I tend to wear it up most days to help me forget about it and then when I get home I put either camelia oil or argan oil in it and CO it out in the morning which seems to be helping. I know you said you don't get on with CO'ing but you do wash every morning so perhaps some overnight oiling will help.

I also use products with silicones, which I know some people don't like, but I find thay help with detangling and tacky ends more than anything else I have tried and give my hair a nice sheen without weighing it down and turning it into an oil slick

Hope you find something that helps you get past this stage as awkward stages are a pain in the rear but it always feels good to get past them. :cool:

[browneyedsusan]

I'm stumped. Can you pin it up for 6 solid months or even longer? Don't look at it, just pin it up. Maybe once it gets past your nape, you'll like it better? (My hair was really ugly for about 6 months last year. I never wore it down in public until around Christmas time.) If you've grown it before, you can grow it again. You've just got to find the magic pill.

[Kherome]

Yep, the nape is the most awkward length. Really, your best bet is to try your very best to ignore it for a good year. Put it up, wear a scarf, or nice hat...whatever you have to do until it gets past that stage. I HATED that length and my hair looked pretty bad at that time. Once it hit SL it got better and APL was pretty good as well.

[ravenreed]

Are you still using the same Mastey Triate? It has protein. If your hair is like mine and hates protein, that may be your problem. Protein makes my hair dry and snap off. Do you have something protein free you can try?

[spidermom]

I agree that you probably need to grit your teeth and get through that awkward stage. You never will if you keep deciding it looks terrible and cutting it.

[Bagginslover]

Can you share your entire routine with us? I'm seeing little bit here and there, but its hard to piece together.

How do you wash? (which products, in what order, frequency of washing)
How do you dry (towelling off with what? Blow dry or air?)
Any leave ins? (oils, conditioners, rinses)
How do you detangle? (brush and comb types, wet or dry, how often)
What is your hair type?

Also, are ALL your ends bad at nape length, or just the longest ones? If the teeny short hairs growing from your nape are bad too, it suggests something mechanical, if its just the longest, it could be a multitude of things ;)

[Firefox7275]

Hi Everyone!:waving:

Yep, I'm back again!

My hair is still at the same stupid length, I still have awful dry ends and it's not really growing much:rolleyes:

I have just read all through the posts on this thread and am basically going to have another go at trying to get it past the collar length.

I am sitting here at the moment with an SMT on my newly clarified hair, I hope it helps!:pray:

Two possibilities: firstly get a full health workup, secondly get a hair analysis from Komaza Care. Everything else is just guesswork.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=626329

[jacqueline101]

Have you tried to use Monistat to speed up your growth?

[palaeoqueen]

I agree that you need to grit your teeth and ignore your hair until you're past this stage. Do you have any pictures?

[Gilly]

Guess what, yep, I am back again, I can't believe the time between the last post and this one but my hair is still basically the same, I think I have had it cut 4-5 times as it got so damn ugly with "steps" in the back and it was sticking up all over the place.
So you have guessed it, I am back at nape length:wail:

I am sitting here smothered in coconut oil, I am determined to grow my hair!

[Groovy Granny]

Guess what, yep, I am back again, I can't believe the time between the last post and this one but my hair is still basically the same, I think I have had it cut 4-5 times as it got so damn ugly with "steps" in the back and it was sticking up all over the place.
So you have guessed it, I am back at nape length:wail:

I am sitting here smothered in coconut oil, I am determined to grow my hair!

Welcome back :)

Live and learn ~ it is onward and downward from here ;)

You can do it this time :cheer:

[Arctic]

Steps? And you go to the hair dresser to trim? As someone who recently got DIY "steppy" layers, my gut reaction was whether your hair dresser has her hands (or shears) in this :ponder:

Anyway, welcome back and I hope you'll either love and work with the hair you have, or find ways to get it longer.

[turtlelover]

Some hair needs silicones. I'd get full bloodwork to rule out health issues, and then try some products with cones and go from there.

[spidermom]

I doubt that few of us like the stages of growth between nape and shoulders. It's awkward, and if you have any waviness to your hair at all, it's going to twist and bend in weird ways. Maybe you could invest in some lovely scarves and learn various ways of wearing them. It would also be good to find a stylist who could give you teeny tiny trims at the very bottom occasionally to even up those "steps".

[AutobotsAttack]

I feel this way all the time. Sometimes I feel like just cutting off all of my hair out of frustration. But then I think about how competely illogical that sounds. Because then I would actually NEVER get there. But patience seems to be a very very big factor in hair growth. Not only to be patient, but to be committed and diligent. When I first started my hair journey I used to get frustrated and Just fLl off track and the. Wonder why my hair wasnt Growing. Now I continue to stay on track no matter how fed up or discouraged or frustrated I am.

[Azy]

Maybe giving the trims a break will help. You won't see any progress if you keep cutting it. Ignore the stage that you consider "a mess" and let it be until you get past nape length before cutting it again. I am also guilty of the trims. I go crazy every time I feel what a consider a rough hair strand and if I don't have a scissor on hand I just rip the strand out... Trichotillomania I think its called. I just can't help it. Also you can try the Green House Effect method to increase your growth rate. A lot of girls on youtube have been having great success with that especially paired with the Inversion method.

[vega]

Maybe nape could be terminal length my friend has same issue ,what about extensions you could have best of both worlds

[Johannah]

Maybe nape could be terminal length my friend has same issue ,what about extensions you could have best of both worlds

I remember reading somewhere she said she used to have long hair, so nape will not be terminal then :)

[spidermom]

Could you post a picture of what you're talking about and describe your hair care routine?

[vega]

Things like older age can slower growing process my friend has thi same issue she is now 57

[lapushka]

Guess what, yep, I am back again, I can't believe the time between the last post and this one but my hair is still basically the same, I think I have had it cut 4-5 times as it got so damn ugly with "steps" in the back and it was sticking up all over the place.
So you have guessed it, I am back at nape length:wail:

I am sitting here smothered in coconut oil, I am determined to grow my hair!

At some point you just have to "let it go". Stop watching your hair from the back and let it grow, do its thing. Even if it is a tad uneven. It will even back out the next month, or the next, or the next. Join a yearly no-trim challenge and don't let the hairdresser near you. It's not necessary to cut 4/5 times. No wonder it isn't growing a bit. :(

[spidermom]

I think Lapushka makes a really good point. It's probably best at this point that you put yourself on strict restriction from looking at the back of your head. Just give your hair good care and let it do its thing. I had to put myself on restriction in the past because I was looking for growth about 10 times per day. Guess what? You never see growth if you look that often.

[browneyedsusan]

I agree with Lapushka and Spidermom.
Stop obsessing. Find one or two styles where it looks decent--accept that it won't look "nice" just yet. You're going for a good-enough-that-I-won't-frighten-small-children look. :) --and fix it like that every day for 8 or 12 weeks. Mark your target date on the calendar, and have a look at it then. No early peeking!

My grow-out was awkward. (Look through my growth album, but know that I didn't wear my hair "down" for many months.) I felt like I needed a haircut in the WORST way! I wore a variety of half-ups: twisted my bangs back and pinned, french braided the top, whatever I could think of to add some interest to the front of my hair and disguise the fact that I had a horrible mullet under there!

You'll get it. Be very stubborn. :)