my granny disapproves...

[liseling]

My granny really has a way of putting things. Every time I visit her she says something that very indirectly is aimed at getting me to cut/straighten my hair. She's so sneaky too because only one or two times has she directly asked me if it wouldn't be so much easier/neater/ more controlled if I cut off and straightened my hair (I think she's picturing something like a straight bob or 20's flapper look). The rest of the time she just says disapproving things about other people's long hair and sortof looks pointedly at me (enter eye-roll here).
She doesn't like really short hair on women because it "makes them look like men", but apparently the other limit is somewhere short of the shoulders. And every hair must be imaculately in place so I guess that rules out any curls whatsoever, eh? These days I think it's more funny than anything, but when I was a kid it really bugged me.
Does anyone else have reletives that disapprove of how you keep your hair?

[noelgirl]

Not really. Actually, my grandma (who passed away two years ago) really loved my long hair. The funny thing was that she always kept hers bobbed (it was very straight and fine and she probably thought that hers couldn't grow), but she loved long hair on other women and I was the only woman in the family with long hair so she was always making sweet comments about it. For so many other reasons as well, I really miss her.

[FrannyG]

Yes, yes and yes. I've been getting the passive-aggressive comments about my hair (and other things) all my life. Now at 46, I'm still getting them. I have an aunt who makes comments about women 10 years younger than me having hair too long for their age. Usually their hair is shoulder length. :shrug:

It can still get to me at times. As you know, family members know how to push all the right buttons. However, for the most part, I just laugh it off. What else to do? :)

[harpgal]

Oh yes, liseling. My mother (now 86) has complained about my hair forever. Oh well....

[Siava]

My mother has ALWAYS had something negative to say about my hair. When I was a teenager, she complained because I wore it down all of the time. "Why don't you wear it up to show your face?" When I was married she complained about my coloring choices. "Dark doesn't suit your complexion. Red doesn't suit your complexion. That color of blonde doesn't suit your complexion." When I cut it all off she was shocked. She did like it when it was growing out, but still quite short. She recently gave me a compliment on the curls and color, but still thinks I need to dye my hair to hide the gray, and cut it short again. It amazes me because throughout all of these years, NOTHING she has said has ever persuaded me to have my hair the way she wants it, yet she persists.

[liseling]

The hair-up thing applies to my situation too! It's like my granny, if she can't persuade me to cut and straighten, might at least be able to get me to put my hair up all the time so it's more "controlled". She complimented me a while ago on wearing it up when it was just in my bedtime messy half ponytail- uh huh, yeah right: "you should ALWAYS wear it up like that-it shows your face more and looks so much more controlled!" I'm glad to hear that other people have these sorts of experiences too.

[wintersun99]

...............

[burns_erin]

My mother has never been happy with my hair either. In fact when I was little she would drench my hair in lemon juice all summer long and send me outside because she wanted little blonde girls like her (I guess maybe she should not have married a Native American). On the other hand I got a lot of flack about cutting my hair off from my whole family. My family is a family of long hairs so I look forward to the cessation of complaints.

[bte]

My mother used to complain that my hair was too long when I lived at home; now that it's longer, but I am older, she just looks at the ponytail (or last itme I saw her the nighttime braid) and said nothing, but I could see what she was thinking!

[Chromis]

Nope! I don't have time for negative relatives. I only deal with the ones that actually like me and share mutual respect.

[Pegasus Marsters]

My grandmother does it too... she complains whatever I do with my hair. I've learnt to ignore her and roll my eyes.

[spidermom]

I live more than 3000 miles from my closest relatives. I have no idea what they think of me, except one of my sisters made it clear that she disapproves of my tattoo.

[Carina]

My mum always complained over my short hair back in the 1980-89.I found it funny that she wanted long hair on me but never grew her own hair long.Go figure.But I will never go back to short hair again.

[liseling]

Thanks for the compliment wintersun! All of these stories sound pretty familiar...

[WritingPrincess]

I am blessed to have pretty supportive family of whatever I want to do with my hair, except for my father's mom. She hasn't said so in so many words, but I think she thinks I should cut my hair.

[LaurelSpring]

Ditto on Mom. My Mom is ALWAYS reminding me of how cute that Dorothy Hamill was on me. Ditto also on the henna/indigo. She tells me now that I look like one of those "Goth people". I keep telling her this IS my natural color. She is just use to seeing it light brown because I colored it light brown for 20 years. Recently I showed her my new growth...look Ma no demarcation. This is my natural color.

[holycannoli]

My grandmother tells me ALL the time how cute and sophisticated my hair looked when it was chin-length. I know it made my face look chubbier and really wasn't flattering at all...still, every time I see her she says "Your hair is getting soooo long, it looked so cute short..."
SO annoying! Sometimes my mom's friends ask if I'm growing it to donate to Locks of Love, but I think that's pretty innocent since a lot of people do that these days. I tell them "Nope I'm keeping it! Pretty selfish, right?" ;)

[wolf girl]

Actually my mother has always encouraged me to grow out my hair and got put off whenever I would cut it (no matter how little). My dad really wants her to grow hers out too but she prefers her own hair shoulder length. :shrug:Do as I say not as I do??:D

[Islandgrrl]

All of this sounds so familiar. I have the same broken record litany of complaints about my hair from my mom, my sister, my mother in law, etc. On the other hand, all my nieces adore my hair. The three older ones have encouraged me to "grow it REALLY LONG, like you had it before." The litte one (she's only 2 1/2) just loves to play with it.

[nissamholtz]

My gran was the same. Always saying how she preferred it when it was short.

[Sapphire'sWings]

Oh, I love my grandma, but she makes comments about my long hair or my weight. I really just smile and don't pay attention to it. I've learned to do that to everyone in my family. Sometimes my mom wonders why I always put my hair up, but I agree with her on this one. I do need to learn more styles and wear it down more often. :)

[Xandergrammy]

Sadly, my grandmothers both passed before I grew my long hair again, but my mother loved my hair. She was the kind of woman who would have loved it no matter what, but she especially liked it when I braided it. I wish she was still here to see how long it is now. She'd be tickled and she'd REALLY love my braid now! :heartbeat

[Starr]

My family likes my hair long (between bsl and waist). . . but I've always gotten comments on how it needs to be straightened (because apparently natural curls are unacceptable). My mother is very supportive- but then again she's switched her shampoo and started to henna since I started growing my hair out. Now that my hair is tailbone, some of my aunts think that it's getting to be too long, but oh well because it's my head not theirs.

I wonder what they'd think of my goal of classic.:eyebrows:

[FrannyG]

Sadly, my grandmothers both passed before I grew my long hair again, but my mother loved my hair. She was the kind of woman who would have loved it no matter what, but she especially liked it when I braided it. I wish she was still here to see how long it is now. She'd be tickled and she'd REALLY love my braid now! :heartbeat


Your mother is tickled and she does love it, Leni! :cloud9: You know that.

[jojo]

My mum prefers my hair short and will drop hints about me cutting, but my Dad loves long hair and tells her to mind her own buisness and that at 39 I have the right to have my hair as long as I want!

[vindo]

Many of my relatives find my hair to long and the ends too thin..Im used to it.

[Finoriel]

Nope :p my relatives are too blunt to be passive aggressive, usually they complain directly :lol: . I think it´s more amusing than disturbing, I´m used to that. If they have fun with it, they can like/dislike whatever they want to. Some like my hair, some not. Nice to know, but good that it´s my hair :gabigrin: and not theirs.

[Delenn]

My Dad didn't really complain but when I had it short he'd say "I like it when it's long!" and then when it's long he'd say "I like it when it's short!" I'm not sure what I was supposed to read into that...

[Delenn]

Sadly, my grandmothers both passed before I grew my long hair again, but my mother loved my hair. She was the kind of woman who would have loved it no matter what, but she especially liked it when I braided it. I wish she was still here to see how long it is now. She'd be tickled and she'd REALLY love my braid now! :heartbeat

Awwww! So sweet! :puppykisses:

I remember when my Dad was in his final days and one of the nurses would compliment my hair, my Dad would roll his eyes and sigh loudly. The nurse would look at me like "what was that about?" and I'd just explain that my Dad hates the color and then I'd just say sorry Dad, can't really change it right now! He'd would just make a face at me. Still kidding around with me until the end, he was a character. I don't know if he would like my hair these days or not, he could never seem to make up his mind how he liked my hair. :o

[Forever_Sophie]

Not really. Actually, my grandma (who passed away two years ago) really loved my long hair. The funny thing was that she always kept hers bobbed (it was very straight and fine and she probably thought that hers couldn't grow), but she loved long hair on other women and I was the only woman in the family with long hair so she was always making sweet comments about it. For so many other reasons as well, I really miss her.

My condolences *hugs*

My grandma is the same (bobbed hair), she says would like mine a tiny bit shorter when *I* ask, but I don't think she really wants me to cut it (just yesterday she was willing to buy this pricy conditioner from Beauty Express). Very adamant about my taking great care of it! Plus, when my mom was growing up, my grandma had my mom's hair down to her waist (maybe longer?).

My mom (who I lost 4 yrs ago), loved short hair...Didn't mind my keeping it long but loved when I got a short, flippy cut.

[DecafJane]

My parents always made comments, but now I think they have given up and figure that I am old enough to decide for myself, and it only matters if I am happy with it. :)

[atlantaz3]

My dad recently told me I was too old to have all that hair. Last visit he told me my hair looked nice. My mom on the other hand shall we say is frugal, and if my hair hasn't been cut I've saved money.

[EvaSimone]

Sometimes my family will tell me they like my hair when it was bobbed and fried and "why don't you get your hair cut like that again?".

I'll admit it looked really cute but it took a ton of time and money, my hair now is pretty and natural (well at least half of it lol). That's exactly what I tell them when they ask.

[Alun]

My mum doesn't like me having long hair. Mind you, it took me a long time to realise that she doesn't like really long hair on anyone, male or female, so if she'd ever had a daughter they would have been in much the same situation.

[LuXious]

Wear a wig next time you go see her. Tell her it's your real hair. Then wear a different wig the next time you see her. Tell her that's your real hair, too. Then wear a bald cap the next time and so on and so on. just kidding. I would say, "I love you, granny," every time she made a comment.

[MoonCreature]

My family-members have learned that it's not wise to complain on anything that has to do with my hair ;) I get a few comments from my mum that "are you really going to wait untill tomorrow before washing?" when I'm trying to wash less frequently. My dad on the other hand gives comments like "how long do you plan growing your hair?" and when I say that time will show he shakes his head in dissbelief. Yesterday he and my mum thought it funny to start joking about all the "problems" with long hair and what I'm going to look like (getting caught on things, having problems going to the toilet, looking like cousine it etc). Not to talk about all the jokes about what I put in my hair... But on the other hand my mum has started asking me about every product she uses "what does this contain? what is this good for? do you have any oil that would help for this?" :cheese:

My brother started asking about a year ago when I'm going to cut my hair, now he is asking "how can *his girlfriend* get longer healthier hair? could you show *girlfriend* how to do that up-do?" etc. I have succeded!:joy:

[toodramatik]

I have relatives that incessantly nag me, but for the opposite.

"Why did you cut your hair? GOSH YOU'RE SO DUMB" and this is 2 months after i did it and i regret it without their input tyvm >.<

[paper]

Yes, my Mom always nagged me about cutting my hair. I did finally cut my hair, now at 46 I'm letting it grow again. I'm waiting for her to say something. :eyebrows:

[liseling]

Haha I love the wig idea- and I really do love my granny. She's great, but she certainly has a passive aggressive way of putting things. I think these days I find it more amusing because I'm older and she's my grandmother and not my mother- she didn't have an everyday influence in my upbringing. But sometimes I think about what a hard time she must have given my poor mother, who also has curly hair. Her's is 3c and will grow outwards instead of down for probably a full 10 inches! And with my grandmothe's cutting ****** it was short enough to be a fro in most of the old pictures. If only she'd let her grow it, it would have calmed down with more length. Plus, my mom grew up during the 50's and 60's when it was fashionable to have either very controlled updos with every hair in place, or looong very straight hair. Now my mom keeps it very short (like 2 inches or less) so the curls never have a chance to manifest themselves. I'm trying to get her to grow it now, but she thinks she's too old. What hair trauma! My mom's always been supportive of me growing my hair though, and whenever I get a compliment she always tells the person: "she gets that hair from me!"

[slynn41202]

I'm dealing with my grandmother in law, and since I've had long hair since I met her she doesn't say anything about my hair.

She doesn't like my husbands hair, or my 2 year old nieces, so she cuts out pictures of hair she thinks would look good on them, and passes them around to the rest of the family.

She doesn't show us the pictures, but she comments about them in front of us.

It's kind of sad, because she fusses about everything, so some of the family members make plans to leave family gatherings when she arrives - it's just too stressful for them to listen to her nag about their families.

[Xandergrammy]

Your mother is tickled and she does love it, Leni! :cloud9: You know that.




You're right, Franny, she DOES know! Thanks for the reminder. :smooch:

[Xandergrammy]

I'm dealing with my grandmother in law, and since I've had long hair since I met her she doesn't say anything about my hair.

She doesn't like my husbands hair, or my 2 year old nieces, so she cuts out pictures of hair she thinks would look good on them, and passes them around to the rest of the family.

She doesn't show us the pictures, but she comments about them in front of us.

It's kind of sad, because she fusses about everything, so some of the family members make plans to leave family gatherings when she arrives - it's just too stressful for them to listen to her nag about their families.



I hope I live long enough to be a grandmother-in-law :inlove: but I hope I don't get cranky and judgemental when I'm that old. I'd hate to think that my family couldn't stand being around me. :sad

[purpleorc]

I can relate to your story regarding your grandmother. My Dad has never like my long hair and growing up I could have it no longer than a bob. I think if he could now he would love to take a pair of scissors to my tresses. :wail:

[Saranne772]

I've not had the same as you but what I have had is my Grandmother approving of my hair "too" much! She says to me- with regard to wearing trousers, cutting my hair and wearing make-up- you wont do that Sarah. And then compares me to my cousins, practically blackmailing me not to do them. And its not necessary because 1) I would never do them any and 2) Its not right. Its not fair to my cousins or to me!!

[Nicole.Amina]

My grandmother actually wants me to grow my hair long. She flipped out when I cut my hair the day before my cousin's wedding. All night she kept saying to me, "I wanted you to wear your hair down. Why did you cut your hair? You said you wouldn't until after the wedding. It would have looked so much nicer down....."

[ItalianFlower]

My family is supportive/apathetic, as we've got a girl in the family who has had tailbone length hair since it first grew to that length at five or so, so the novelty of it isn't there.

My mom loves the idea, but she is constantly telling me to blow dry it (which makes it explode into a poof of awfulness) and brush it (also giant poof, but not as bad) and other such damaging things. >_<

[Magicknthenight]

wow im sorry they make such comments!:blossom:
If someone made them to me i rather just have them say it flat out. Instead of the nice-mean thing like on mean girls where they are saying something rude but acting like their being angels :mad:
My mom once tried to get me to cut my hair like chin length about...2 years ago(i think it was) because she saw my friend with waist length hair cut it that short and said "but it looks so cute on her!" but i was always like "well we look nothing alike" but she would continue with her "common nikki!":horse:
i tell ya. :patrol: its not gonna happen.
My nana who i live with mostly doesnt really care what i do with my hair as she made it clear a while back. i think i asked if i could do something crazy with it (like a bunch of cool colors and a new style or dye it and do whatever) and her answer has always pretty much been..."Its your hair".:cheese: thank gawd.
i never did go through with that new hairstyle...but she never really tells me what to do with my hair. Unless my bangs get too long and she says "we gotta get your bangs cut!" then trys to get me to get them cut really short when we do but i dont as i look silly:D
she does compliment me when i do a new style or bun and sometimes says "your hair is getting long" which makes me happy!:lol:
but if i wanted i could cut my hair, grow it, or dye it. Which im grateful for seein as how a friend of mine had to call her mom and beg to get a hair trim. I like my nanas rule "Its your hair do what you want with it". She keeps it about shoulder length and used to dye it black and then a couple months ago brown but now shes letting the natural come back. Black with a little bit of white. But i think it looks good and natural on her!! she washes it once a week then uses those little curling things and a blowfryer. But thats really about it.
Dont let anyones comments get to you! One day i can get alot of compliments for my hair the next a bunch of "suggestions" on new styles.
Anywho the whole point of the nana story was...its your hair and in the end its gotta be about what makes you happy!!!!:heart:

[Dianyla]

Nope! I don't have time for negative relatives. I only deal with the ones that actually like me and share mutual respect.
Hey. You stole my post! :lol:

Also, every time I see this thread title pop up I'm reminded of the Disapproving Rabbits site, which I always thought should be named Disapproving Bunnies. Someone out there needs to make a DisapprovingGrannies.com website. :silly:

[blondecat]

My smother still suggests I would look better with a perm and short hair lol

[she made me have a boys cut, whilst I was growing up, grew my hair out in revenge, as did all my siblings hehe]

Now, my long hair is just for me, I love it.

lol OK now that I read all the other posts, I will reveil my Mum's Age 84

Perhaps she belongs with the grans of the same age on the other posts and it's just an era thing [tho I do know mum had long hair as a child]

[Xandergrammy]

My smother


Blondecat, was this a Freudian slip? :gabigrin:

[sapphire-o]

Both of my parents like my long hair and think it's the best in the family. However they disapprove ME. My lifestyle, my choices... they always talk about how I should make myself more useful and a better person. I'd rather they pick on my hair, it wouldn't hurt my self-esteem as much.

[blondecat]

Blondecat, was this a Freudian slip? :gabigrin:

Ummm I plead the 5th ammendment [even tho I'm not American ] :)